01x06 - Powerless

[bunniefuu]

Yahoo!

Contents, mango, yogurt, ice, Skittles.

Yum.

Can I continue now please?

You've been completely silent up until this point.

Thank you.

Okay, looks like the ore's been processed.

We're all fueled up, ready to go.

Nice.

Things are really looking up, Zalian.

Humans and robots living together in harmony.

Space is a beautiful shade of green.

And, for the first time since we got here, we are completely functional.

Fuel, shields, and food.

Captain.

Are you requesting that I play the song Fuel, Shields, and Food by all country bad girl Bailey May Chapin?

No, no, no.

I was just saying that since.

Actually, yeah.

Let's hear some of that.

Sorry buddy, I don't mean to be rude but all I need is fuel, shields, and food.

I'll flip you over put your face to the ground.

Oh, just the chorus, thanks.

The verses aren't really work appropriate.

Captain, I also have an update.

Mm-hm.

Kent and I are very close to finalizing our ripple detection system.

Within a day or two, we should have the ability to find possible pathways back to our universe.

You and Kent, making magic together.

I hope that's the only thing you're making.

All right guys, I am not trying to k*ll the buzz here.

I am trying to infuse the buzz with a quick presentation.

Turbulence preparedness in like 20 slides, 25 tops.

Karen we all agreed that we earned a breather for the night.

You have gum?

Yeah.

I am the creature who houses the gum.

Get your own niche.

Aw, somebody's jealous because they've got that dumb homemade body and I've got this state of the art, wireless leg.

Look at it go.

We all just had the chance to speak socially, and I think we can all agree that nobody enjoyed it, so let's try it my way.

Now this is the stance you're gonna need to take if your ship encounters sudden inertial shifts.

Now there are 19 key aspects to this.

Okay, I wanna teach you a stance where you learn to unclench your tight.

S01E06
Powerless

Ugh.

Zalian, you okay?

Yeah.

Static electricity.

I had to check.

Come on man. I think I know what happened.

We just got struck by lightning in the middle of space.

It, it must have something to do with this green glow.

Natasha, I need a report on hull damage.

Also, a diagnosis of our shield strength and an estimate of the likelihood of further strikes.

Natasha!

Aw that's new.

19. Act.

Me.

Oh.

Keep it lowered.

Excuse me, someone.

All right Art, you're gonna be okay, all right?

This is my comforting voice.

Now, I need you to turn off all your sensory inputs and take a deep breath.

I don't breath you insensitive ow!

Mm.

Thank you.

Mm.

Now, as I was saying, Karen, you insensitive...

All right, Tina, looks like you're okay.

What the hell happened to her?

Emergency mode turned off all non-essential body mods including translators, artificial limbs, and corneal implants.

Tina doesn't actually speak English.

She's from unincorporated Uzbekistan.

Grotesque.

They can't possibly think that's an acceptable way to talk.

Michael, go get a can of our dry rations.

But, my leg's off.

Then crawl.

Yes, ma'am.

Art, go check our atmosphere levels and make sure we're not bleeding O2.

Kent, all right, Tina.

Go check on him.

Mm-hm.

Okay.

Your lenses are off. Door. Door.

Who put that there?

Walk it off.

Karen, Michael, anyone!

Why won't this open?

It's a security thing.

The bridge seals itself off from the rest of the ship in the event of an emergency.

You know, I think we could probably gas those guys if you wanted to.

I'm good, thanks.

Suit yourself.

No shields, no steering, no diagnostics.

This ship is basically a floating coffin.

Look.

Can you activate the reserve generators?

Oh, turn it off. Turn it off now!

Hey, hey, hey.

Make up your mind, come on.

The lightning is attracted to our power signature.

We have to keep everything off until we are clear of this stuff.

That's not going to go over with the rest of the crew.

Power is their favorite.

We have to tell turn them not to turn anything on.

Natasha make, oh, right, our computer is fried.

How do we get a message back there?

Heh, I have got an idea.

Natasha, really?

You're rubbing in that you have shoulders for t*nk tops at a time like this?

Woah, what happened to you?

Oh.

Ow.

Lightning.

Power.

Death.

We got struck by lightning.

Power equals death.

Power will k*ll us.

Yes! Oh.

Oh that's bad.

Oh, that's really fun to solve.

Oh, god, I miss Puzzle Club.

Smiling spicy tuna hand roll.

Karen got the message.

Thank god your sister knows her history.

Hm, how do you know that's what that means?

Typical.

You kids today don't know the first thing about emojis.

What's happened to our schools?

Whoa, you're just gonna free hand that wrench?

That's the way we did things back in the old days.

We had to use our bodies not like you fancy nancies.

Oh please.

My generation is just as tough as yours.

Hey your cup got quiet.

Oh I forgot the voice feature is ship powered.

You know what? Eff it, I'll wing it.

No this is crazy.

Literally anything could be in there.

Oh for crying out loud.

What?

I'm a man.

We're drifting into a more volatile region.

Even in emergency power levels you might get hit.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

We're not gonna go that way.

Can't control which way we're going Zalian.

The nav computer is down.

We can't steer.

Yes, we can.

You're gonna fly this ship manually.

That's the spirit.

All right, the last person to sit where you're sitting is the man himself, Captain Tucker Legs Lagrange.

38 years ago today.

What's today?

I dont know. What am I? A calendar.

Are you going to do this or what?

Right.

Okay, well I did grow up playing a VR flyer with a physical controller.

I was pretty good at it.

b*at all my mom's friends, except Grady.

Oh well you better get moving cuz we've got some debris coming in at 8 o'clock.

What debris? Holy.

Oh that was incredible.

Did you see that?

The ship physically moved based on how I moved my hands.

You see? Now you're getting it.

You know, back in the old days that's how vehicles worked.

You know I drove a car once?

You're a maniac.

Hey, Kent okay?

Listen up everybody, there's a lightning storm out there that could splatter us all to pieces.

So, until we are clear of it, no use of any power.

Hi.

Hi.

Sorry, but we're already outputting power.

But we're only at nine percent capacity in emergency mode which is apparently low enough to avoid another strike.

Splendid, I'll start the celebratory light show.

No, Art.

We are still at risk here everybody.

We don't know how much power it will take for us to get hit again so we have to be smart.

No nonessential usage.

No translators.

No corneal upgrades.

And no legs.

We're on it.

Thank you.

Crisis mode feels so good.

Natasha. Greetings.

You'll have to pardon my swollen appearance.

I awaken from every nap awash in hormones and fluids.

To wit.

Aah!

I cannot embrace you.

You neither have a corporeal form nor the dimension of breath.

Are you not aware of your own limitations?

Shall I itemize them?

Now you're crying.

Very loud.

Too loud.

Your mainframe must be damaged.

I shall inspect your programming but first I feel a headache looming.

I must medicate.

The rattling pill pacifies the woman.

Yes. She likes the rattle.

Marvel at the rattling you fool.

Exquisite.

What the hell are you people doing?

I thought we agreed we wouldn't turn anything on.

Well, you said you didn't know how much power would get us in danger so I booted up big daddy and nothing bad happened.

If anything we're good.

Woo. We're real good.

We are not good Michael, you just put all at risk for one stupid left leg.

Hey I'm not the only one who started using, we all did.

Sure, Michael.

Tina, you turned your translator back on?

Oh, come on, you can't even fake your own native language.

I forget what it sounds like when auto translate's back on.

It is really scary not being able to communicate with people.

Language is like the left leg of the brain.

Hm.

How very true.

Cheers.

What the hell are you doing?

Nothing really I just didn't want these flesh bags using more power than me.

God, is it too much to ask for a little discipline around here.

We are stuck in the middle of a lightening storm in space and we could be struck again at any moment.

Karen, we're all feeling a little crisised out.

Things may be bad but they feel fine, and isn't that what really matters?

Yeah, we can't let a little lightning storm change the way we live Karen.

Oh yeah.

We dancing with a light show speaking English, go Art.

Go Art.

He's a billionaire.

He's a billionaire.

She's still non-responsive?

No, she's in time out.

Natasha's neural network regenerates quickly when given educational input.

Our work together has advanced her to the intelligence level of a three year old.

A three year old.

Who can't stop using potty language.

Potty.

Poop.

Ignore her.

I can't ignore her.

I need her to do something for me.

Natasha, go see what's happening on the bridge.

Karen.

What do we say?

Thank you.

The magic words.

Natasha?

Mm-hm?

Please go see what's happening on the bridge.

Thank you.

Why?

Because I asked you to, all right?

Why?

Because it's one of your duties.

You said doody.

You stepped in that one.

Please tell me you have not used our discretionary power on her yet.

No, of course not.

You do know there's a lightning storm out there, right?

At least somebody around here knows how to stay disciplined in a crisis.

These people only listen if danger is literally staring them in the face.

Your use the word literally disgusts me.

Well maybe I would speak better if I wasn't under so much stress.

If I weren't under so much stress.

It's subjunctive mood, for crying out loud.

Do I have to teach you rudimentary English too?

Yes?

She's shy.

Very well child, you may whisper it to me.

I see. Yes.

Stewart wishes to test the manual controls, as such, he advises us all to strap in because the ship will be shaking violently in five minutes.

We should tell the others.

She just told you all that.

I'm summarizing somewhat.

Oh my god!

Oh crap.

Oh, get it, you!

Stewart needs to run a test of...

Are you serious?

Oh we're just looking at the spaceship excuse.

I really am not quick on my feet.

Wait, what is happening, you said Stewart is doing a test of something?

Yeah... but I was just joking, it was just a joke.

What, what's happening?

I just do it!

Woo hoo, I'm moving the ship, me!

Nope, definitely a lightning strike.

Must be all that power people are using.

Pull it out, pull it out!

It's not coming out.

Well, then push it in!

What?

I don't understand, I thought we were low enough!

Guess not.

How low do we have to go?

It's hard to say, but the lower the better.

Stay vigilant.

Stay afraid.

There's no way that's natural.

It looks like it's from a ship, whether man made or...

Kid made.

Or, different train of thought, I was thinking it could be aliens.

This could be the first solid proof of alien life since your old crew found that meteorite.

Oh man, don't get me started.

It was crazy.

Our retrieval bot is broken.

So Lagrange barricades himself in the airlock and takes his bare hand, pushes it through the god damn window and bang.

Next thing you know, history is made.

Like the very first extra solar tardigrade.

That's what I'm talking about, man.

Taking risks, you know, thinking on the fly.

None of this coddling and comfort, in fact.

Oh ho!

From now on I'm going to drink whatever from wherever.

Hell yeah.

Except dairy.

Natasha, do you have a message, or?

Wait, just.

Okay, so Ken wants to know when we can do power again.

Well the lighting field is starting to thin out.

I bet we could go any time you want.

Right.

Of course, we could follow this trail of debris to the source.

Discover a bunch of awesome stuff, be the coolest people ever, then exit the field.

Oh you guys are boring.

When can I do power again?

Natasha, my cute little baby girl, tell the crew it's gonna be a while.

We have something we have to do.

Mm.

This is messed up.

I was okay with making a few sacrifices when it was only affecting you guys.

But if I'm not allowed to spin and flail, I don't even know why I'm here!

You wanna die?

You think this your time to go?

Maybe it is.

I'm not gonna to pretend to know that answer.

But what I do know, I do know that I don't wanna die.

Like at, like at all.

Hey!

Lower the better.

Wow.

Loving the new attitude, guys.

What's going on?

Are we safe?

That's what I was coming to tell you.

Stewart said we'll be stuck in this lightning field for as long as it takes me to get some work done.

So keep on keeping it lower.

Thanks.

Hey, we need to talk.

So you know you must have learned some English before your country got auto translate, so if you focus and focus hard, I know you can understand me.

Okay, we talk.

Good.

We're still not safe.

There is still power everywhere.

We need to turn off more.

Word is, Natasha's a vegetable.

I saw we pull the plug.

Temporarily.

We can always plug her back in if we want to.

We should take that electronic welfare queen off the dole.

Art has a point.

Anybody using power probably should go.

That tickles.

Good morning Art.

Oh screw you.

But I get it.

Now we end Natasha?

Yes. I want to go back to hotel.

I say right?

Mm-hm.

What do you think it is?

I don't know but whatever it is it's not human.

Man, proof of alien civilization at formula.

Lagrange's gonna see us now.

Hey, did I ever tell you about the mirror manuever?

No.

Sounds amazing.

Hit me with it.

Alright, so we pick up this French couple off Muir, right?

Hard bodies, late 20's, a couple of real smoke shows, right?

And we all go out in an international vacuum.

You know, free of any of the usual restrictions.

That's when Lagrange them on the bridge like right in front of us.

And that's when Lagrange jumps up and them like a couple of surf boards.

They were so scared.

Oh Zalian, I have to say that is a horrible story.

And I don't see how it connects to space exploration or subtly teaches me a lesson on leadership.

Well, it's not meant to.

We're just a couple of buds sh**ting the...

Hey, did I ever tell you about the Europa donkey show?

I can't believe I let you convince me to go in this way.

Yeah, I would have never gone this way, it seems extremely dangerous.

To the success of the voyage it is right for a whaling captain to jeopardize that life in the act of perils of the chase.

Can we stop?

No, Natasha.

Please continue, your elocution is stellar.

Irregardless, whales and books don't even exist anymore.

So, I'm not going to need to know any of this and I'm bored.

That is welcome news.

Boredom is one of the core emotional states of an adult.

You're becoming your grown up self again.

Yeah. Because my grown up me is so great.

She is.

Grown up you is, well, one of the finest women I've ever known.

In fact I...

What are you two doing here?

We're here to turn off your girl.

Do you know how much pain a full shutdown would cause her?

If he dies, he dies.

Do you want, I will fight you to my last breath.

And I have breathing holes everywhere.

Oh, Kent, they're gonna k*ll you!

Then so be it.

The fact that I've survived this long is a disgusting miracle.

I would die for the woman I love.

I love you.

Ew, gross.

Always stupid.

Poor timing.

What are you guys doing?

And who m*rder*d Art, I thought we all agreed it wasn't funny any more.

We fixed him.

Lower the better, just like you said.

We're not going to hold on here much longer.

Any thin spots?

Nothing yet.

Oh, there is something over there.

Oh my god, it's moving. There's somebody over there!

Oh. In lamer news, I think I spotted an exit route over that way.

You gonna decide?

Cuz I wouldn't wanna be you right now.

Oh, really?

I'm not you, am I?

No, you're you, I'm me.

Yeah, but that's really a binary thing, I see it as more of a spectrum.

Guys listen to me, there was no second lightning strike, all right it was just Stewart running some exercises.

You dont have to make up these stories, this is how we live now.

In the darkness.

Unless of course, you've forgotten your own teachings.

You haven't lost your way have you Karen?

Maybe we lower you.

You can take those ugly glasses off now, Karen.

Oh thanks.

Natasha.

You are looking well.

Thank you.

When we returned to full power, I was restored from the last saved version of myself.

Very pleased to hear that you are fully functional.

Will that be all?

So you probably don't remember anything from your impaired state.

Things that happened to you, things that were said to you?

Are you referring to the moment where you told me that you loved me?

Yes as it happens.

I remember it.

Capital.

Do you love me too by chance?

Yes.

Did I not say that?

No.

I thought I had.

Still a little glitchy.

Apologies.

No apology necessary.

You've been through a lot.

Yes.

Yes, so.

So you do love me?

What was that?

You do love me?

Yes.

Yes I do.

You missed it.

Yes, I love you and your inability to work the ship.

Just leave it. I'll fix it later.

I love you.

I love you too.

Tonight will be Kent's and my first encounter since admitting our mutual feelings.

Do I look sufficiently attractive?

You're gonna blow his dark little mind.

You look super hot, I promise.

Is that a harassment alarm?

No, Natasha, you asked me how you look, this is entrapment.

It's a ripple detection system.

We found one, Captain.

What?

By my projections, we will have the ability to return to our native universe in less than 72 hours.

72 hours, wow.

That's soon.

I'm detecting ambivalence.

It's just Natasha, there's so much we still haven't explored.

Well if you think it's best to conceal this from the others, you just let me know.

Captain, computer confidentiality is part of my programming.

Hey guys, so here's the thing.

What is it, what's the thing?

We found a ripple, we're going home.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

We're dancing, it's a light show, speak in English.

We're dancing, it's a light show, speak in English.

He's a billionaire.

Yahoo!