01x02 - Girl Meets Boy

(Bell rings)

(Clicking)

Talk to him.

Why? We have a great text relationship.

You know what's a better text relationship?

What?

Talk to him.

(Phone swooshing)

He's right over there.

No!

Too complicated over there.

Lots can go wrong over there. The only thing that can go wrong over here is if I go over there.

(Mouths)

(Mouths)

(Mouths)

(Mouths)

(Sniffing)

How'd I do?

You smelled him.

Yup.

You smelled him is what you did.

I walk through life the way I walk through life.

Can we please talk about this?

(Clicks, whooshes)

(Cellphone chimes)

(Sighs)

"Nope."

(Pop music playing)

♪ I've been waiting ♪
♪ for a day ♪
♪ like this to come ♪
♪ struck like lightning ♪
♪ my heart's beating like a drum ♪
♪ on the edge ♪
♪ of something wonderful ♪
♪ face to face with changes ♪
♪ what's it all about? ♪
♪ Life is crazy ♪
♪ but I know I can work it out ♪
♪ 'cause I got you ♪
♪ to live it with me ♪
♪ I feel all right, I'm gonna take on the world ♪
♪ light up the stars, I've got some pages to turn ♪
♪ I'm singing "go-o-o" ♪
♪ oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world. ♪

You guys don't connect with each other.

It's like you can't exist without these.

You use emoticons rather than emotions.

You're an unfeeling generation of zombies.

(Mimicking zombies)

Stop eating her.

You're late, miss Myzell.

My goldfish died.

You see?

This is what I'm talking about.

Miss Myzell has clearly suffered a tragic loss.

Yet she does not seem in touch with her actual emotions.

'Scuze me?

I am crying my eyes out.

I'm gonna have to leave class early.

Oh, she actually made it out the door this time.

I actually made it out the door this time!

Dad, adjust and deal.

Cellphones have been around for, like, ever.

It'll amaze you to know that there was a whole world before you and cellphones.

And it'll amaze you to know that I have 394 friends in here.

And I'm amazed that you believe that.

This is a timeline of all human existence.

Starting here is everyone who ever lived, laughed, loved, and understood the value of life.

The cellphone era, which begins right around here pretty much destroys all of that.

Way to go, you.

Sir, if I may take a different position?

Yeah, save me, Mr. Friar. Do I go too far?

Always, sir.

I understand your point, but I use my phone to video chat my old friends and to find out what's going on in Texas.

Yeah. How else can he keep tabs on all the hoedowns and cattle pageants?

Maya!

It's okay, Riley.

I'm unaffected by Maya's views of country life.

As my Uncle Buster always says, "be like an eagle and soar above the mockingbird."

You're the mockingbird.

I know.

It kills me that I can't get to you.

Sorry, ma'am.

(Angrily) Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Farkle time, sir?

Oh, I love Farkle time.

With all due respect to history, Mr. Matthews, what's important to our generation will be on this side of the timeline, when Farkle and technology rule.

And I will easily be able to make another one of you...

Ow.

And another one of you.

Ow.

Wait, so now there's four of us and one of you?

That's awesome.

The future... you can't escape it.

I am Farkle!

The assignment... you can't escape it.

I am teacher!

Okay, so here's what we're going to do, guys.

We're going to split into teams and discover whether or not new technology has made us better people.

You'll do presentations on your findings.

And here's a twist... no computers.

What?!

We're going old school.

You're going to do your research at the New York public library.

Where?!

And here's another twist because I trust you not at all... give me your cellphones.

No!

Yeah.

(All grumbling)

Come on, hand 'em up, hand 'em up.

(Grumbling continues)

Thank you, thank you.

Okay, so our teams for this assignment...

Maya...

What up!

And Riley, you will be with...

No!

No.

(Bell ringing)

No!

Why did you have to come here?

Sorry I make you uneasy, sir.

Oh, Dad, we don't even have our phones.

I mean, what could possibly happen?

Hey, soaring eagle, you walkin' with us to the library tonight?

Sure, if that's good with you guys.

Well, seeing as how you're Riley's partner on this assignment, I guess we should find out if it's okay with her.

Riley?

Riley, any thoughts on this that might come out of your mouth in word form?

No, because you don't have your phone anymore, so what are you going to do to communicate? I wonder.

Oh, look at that.

Two thumbs up from Riley.

And a smiley face.

It was a good day.

And then my friends treated me nicely.

And then my teacher measured us and then I'm growing.

And then Jenny Lewis loves me...

I think because I'm growing.

It wasn't a good day.

And then my friend pulled my hair out.

And then my teacher took my phone away and then my teacher was also my father.

At least you're growing.

Topanga: Honey, please don't come apart.

Look at this as a beautiful opportunity to spend time with your family.

Hello, Riley.

How you doin'?

Want to hear about my day? It was a good day.

Mom!

Forgive her, Auggie. She misses her telephone.

Well, then she can have mine.

(Play phone beeps) The cow goes...

"Moo!"

I'm not gonna make it.

That's what your father thinks.

She can't.

Honey, please don't make your father right.

It's no good for any of us when your father is right.

She's right.

Why are you really doing this?

Because I want you and your friends to become human beings.

And I believe that by doing this, you guys can learn to become real human beings.

(Buzzes)

Hey, losers, it's Maya.

Except her.

You know what? I am going to do this.

I can get through this whole thing without making a text or a call.

(Buzzes)

Come on up.

Of course you can, sweetheart.

And you know what? You're already a wonderful human being.

But every so often, little tests like this are gonna come up.

Why?

Because it's your father's job to give you little tests.

And maybe along the way, you guys are going to learn a little bit more about yourselves.

(Door opens)

Maya: Yeah, like I've learned that I'm actually really okay with all of this.

You don't miss your phone?

I was the only one in class without a smart phone anyway.

And now I kind of feel like everybody's even.

(Door buzzing)

Farkle.

Be ready in a minute.

(Buzzing)

And Lucas.

Ready now!

Did you see that?

You know what that was?

That was boys. Too soon for boys.

Not ready for boys. I don't want boys.

We just gonna accept boys?

It happened, she's gone. She was nice, we had fun, but we still have him.

You want to color?

Color!

Of course you do. Let's color for the rest of our lives.

Will I be getting a real cellphone someday?

Someday.

Dominic Falcone has a real cellphone.

Would you rather have a real cellphone or would you rather color with us?

Color with you.

Does that get me a cellphone?

Not too much longer with this one either.

Well, you'll always have me.

(Inhales sharply) Yeah.

What is this place?

This is where the ancients stored all of their wisdom.

Look at all of those...

Books.

Both: Books.

Look.

(Blows)

"Tales of human interaction."

We'll take it. Thanks, quickdraw.

Farkle, do whatever you do with that.

You mean read?

"Chapter one..."

Oh, I'm bored out of my mind.

Let's go to a movie.

Shh!

All: Ah!

There's one of those ancients now.

Oh, wondrous gatekeeper of the knowledge, we are travelers from another time and place.

Seventh grade middle school.

We wish to partake of this information from your great hall of wisdom.


Do you rent phones?

Shh!

There's no one here but us.

Why do we have to shush?

Let me handle this, Maya.

She obviously likes it quiet.

Hello, book lady.

Well, hello.

And who might you be?

I might be Farkle.

Would you do me a favor, Farkle?

Oh, you know I will.

Why don't you go over there and... shh!

Well, that's disappointing.

So...

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

This chapter is called disconnect to connect."

"Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers and look in each other's eyes will we be able to touch each other's hearts."

Yeah, like that's going to work on anybody.

People used to need places like this.

Now we can hold everything that's here in a little device we can put in our pockets.

I don't even need to look out this window to know what phase the moon is in or where the stars are.

Yeah, well, I don't have a phone like that.

I just have the actual sky.

Oh, I'm so sorry for you.

You're at a real disadvantage.

That can be the basis of our presentation, okay?

Want to read back the notes?

What notes?

You weren't taking notes?

No.

You know, why bother?

Without a computer, all we have is a pencil and a pad.

What could we possibly do with that?

Maya, I had no idea.

Yeah, neither did I.

My Dad thinks that we have no idea how to talk to each other.

What if he's right?

Shh!

But we're not saying anything.

I know.

Then why are you shushing us?

Because I can't take it anymore.

You guys are hopeless.

Come here.

Couple of sweet kids like you and you sit there like a couple of lumps.

You're a disgrace to every single story on these shelves.

Okay, so what do I say to him?

Look around.

Nothing here but books about boys and girls and men and women and what they say to each other.

Open any one of them and you... no, not that one.

Oh, boy, not that one!

Look, all these books have one thing in common.

What's that?

You start on page one, and each page you turn brings you deeper into the story.

What's your name?

Riley.

What's his name?

Lucas.

You like a good story, Riley?

Then start at the beginning.

Hi.

Hi.

"Because it's not until you really looked at each other and made a human connection that you can even begin to know each other."

Look in my eyes. Look in my eyes.

No. No.

Look in my eyes.

No!

I guess the thing I miss most about Texas are the pets I used to have.

I had a hamster.

I had 24 horses.

You win.

Tell me about them.

One day after school, Sofia was foaling.

That means she was giving birth, right?

Not too bad, city girl.

(Laughs)

And there was no one there, so I called Dr. Galendo and he talked me through it.

Anyway, that was all.

More.

Did you know that a baby horse stands in the first hour after it's born?

Really?

I'd liked to have been there for that.

The coolest thing I've ever seen and I was a part of it.

Riley.

Lucas.

I've never told this to anybody before.

Yeah?

I think someday I might like to be a veterinarian.

That's cool too.

I delivered this beautiful palomino.

I'd show you her picture, but I don't have my phone.

That's okay. Just... (Sighs)

Keep talking.

"There is no connection you can make with any screen that compares to the moment you understand only human beings have souls."

(No discernable dialog)

I have a soul.

No.

I do! I do!

No.

No.

I colored a new picture.

Stay like this forever.

Would you please? That'd be great.

The picture's over there.

Mommy, daddy, Auggie, and no Riley.

Uh, Auggie, I don't know if you...

It's beautiful! I think that's what you're supposed to do. I have no idea.

And look at the 'frigerator.

The new one?

That's our trip to the Jersey shore.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

I think that's what you're supposed to do.

How was your night, Riley?

Thank you for sending us to the library.

Really?

Yes. Lucas and I did really well on the assignment.

I think that we connected.

What do you mean, connected? What are you talking about?

How did you connect?

We talked about stuff that was important to us...

Too important to text.

Did you know that when you listen to someone, they'll tell you stuff?

Oh, boy.

Friends talk to each other, but real friends listen.

Maya knows how to draw and I know how to be a real friend.

You're a good teacher, Dad.

You can keep my phone as long as you want.

Congratulations, Cory.

What did I do?

You just taught our daughter how to feel.

I did that?

You did.

I didn't mean to do that.

Well, you did.

She has feelings now?

Mm-hmm.

How many?

All of them.

Well, put them back.

We can't do that.

I have a way.

There's no way.

I have a way.

Here you go... take your phone. Take it now.

Very good. Here's your phone.

Good, great, nobody talks to nobody.

No more feelings. Thank you.

Okay, guys, the great technology debate.

Let's boot it up!

I have always believed technology would help us fulfill our potential as a species.

And when Farkle does rule the world, no matter what devices we come up with, we should also never forget what we can do with a pencil, a piece of paper and our own imaginations.

I've been keeping this in my pocket where my phone used to be.

I keep looking at it.

I'm fine.

Thanks, Farkle.

Look in my eyes.

No.

I thought my whole life was in my phone, but it turns out that I don't really have any friends in here.

And you don't need your phone to connect with your real friends.

Allow us to demonstrate.

Hi.

Hi.

♪ I'm singing go-o-o" ♪

Maya: I'm not that tall.

Really?

How you doin'?

You will keep an eye on Riley at all times.

You will send me message alerts.

You will send me pictures.

You're really scared, aren't you?

I'm a father.

Yeah. They're just friends.

Believe me, I know the story.

But you're forgetting, I don't have the technology.

Now you do.

You got me a phone?

My motives are completely selfish.

I'm not sure they are, Mr. Matthews.

Well, I also got you these.

Colored pencils?

Yeah.

You let me know everything that's going on with Riley.

And if something beautiful ever happens, paint me a picture.