02x09 - Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Girl Meets World.

Scandal rocks Washington today as Jefferson Davis Graham, longtime senator from New York, did something so incredibly stupid, his chance at re-election is like, zero, unless they can somehow pull an even bigger blockhead out of the woods to run against him.

Face it, we're finished.

There isn't a guy in the universe couldn't b*at our candidate right now.

Too good, winner. No, he beats us.

She beats us. Whoa!

Lookee here, Chester.

You're welcome, America.

Current events. Somebody tell me what's going on in the world.

Stuff happened in some country, some team won a game, and it's cold somewhere with a chance of I don't care. Am I all caught up?

Yeah. Your education's complete.

Anybody who's gonna turn out well got something to say?

Lucas.

All the news is about the elections.

So are all of the commercials.

Why should we care about the elections when we don't get to vote?

Who else feels that way? Well, that's a shame, guys, because this world's gonna belong to you soon.

The one you messed up?

Yeah, thanks anyway.

Oh, so you got problems with this planet you're inheriting?

When I read the news, it makes me feel like this isn't even a world I'd want to rule.

Wow, Farkle. I've never heard you say anything like that before.

I'm a visionary, Riley. I look ahead.

You. Me. Mars. Let's do this thing.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You guys are supposed to be optimistic. Future leaders.

You don't get cynical until high school.

Why don't you elect people who care enough to make things better?

I like to think I do every time I vote.

But the truth is I'm not responsible for the quality of people running for office.

How are these people even chosen?

Well, the parties choose the best candidates they can come up with.

(Panting)

I am running senator the grape state of New York.

And I need your votes.

Kids don't vote.

Then uh-oh!

Everybody close your books. It's the end of the world.

I'm really dizzy. I've done this in every classroom.

(Theme music playing)

♪ I've been waiting ♪
♪ for a day ♪
♪ like this to come ♪
♪ struck like lightning ♪
♪ my heart's b*ating like a drum ♪
♪ on the edge ♪
♪ of something wonderful ♪
♪ face to face with changes ♪
♪ what's it all about? ♪
♪ Life is crazy ♪
♪ but I know I can work it out ♪
♪ 'cause I got you to live it with me ♪
♪ I feel all right, I'm gonna take on the world ♪
♪ light up the stars, I've got some pages to turn ♪
♪ I'm singing "go-o-o" ♪
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪

So they plucked me off the street and they hustled me into a limousine like I was fancy.

Who was in the limousine?

The bow tie man with the big glasses.

He was a whisperer, right? He was one of these whisperers.

He came up to me he was like, "Eric, you are the only one that has a chance to defeat senator Jefferson Davis Graham in the primary!"

That's not a whisper, Eric.

I also don't know what a primary is!

The primary is the first election where the voters select each party's candidate.

Oh, that's wrong.

Then the winners of the primary run against each other in the general election to see who goes to Washington.

Are you a robot?

I'm a real boy.

Birth certificate?

Still looking.

Eric, Davis Graham is a six-term senator.

Eric, you don't have enough money to run against him.

Eric, the bow tie man said he would help me with all of that.

Eric, you can't b*at this guy.

He's done bad things. People who do bad things shouldn't be in power.

I want to b*at him.

I don't know how he does it, but tell me you're not on his side.

Not. Eric, you don't even have a campaign team. Who's your team?

Well, that's why I'm here. I want Riley and her friends to run my campaign.

I mean, tell me you're not on his side now.

Not. Yet.

Eric, they're kids. Do you really think this is a good idea?

Man: It's a great idea.

The senator took money from schools and gave it to his rich friends.

Why would he do that? Who are you?

Because his rich friends are the ones that got him elected.

I'm TJ. TJ Murphy.

So he chose his own future over ours?

b*at the bad bad man, Eric.

I'm gonna do my best, Moesha.

How do you know so much about this?

I'm the one that caught him.

I have a website called "Thorn in your side."

I'm the Thorn.

So letting the kids run Eric's campaign... would show that Eric would rather build schools.

Would show that he cares about our future as much as his.

What's your deal, man with the ideas?

I believe in you. I'd like to help.

Hmm.

I need to have a secret meeting with my team behind closed doors.

What do you think?

Clearly, we need all the help we can get.

Welcome abroad, PK.

As you are about to see, we've had our share of election surprises.

But America loves an underdog.

Matthews, you mind if I stick around for this class?

Of course, Harley. You're interested in politics?

I'm interested in why school budgets are being cut.

I'm interested in why they take away art and music.

You like music?

Without music, I'd do something.

I know, Harley. I know you would.

Hey, you guys. We don't need to be afraid.

We can win this thing.

We just need to remember the wise words of president F. Doctor Oosevelt, who said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear..." wow!

Ha ha! This looks just like Harley Keiner.

Oh, Harley Keiner. Harley Keiner.

If I could do my whole life over again, I would give that guy such a what-for.

You do. You look a lot like Harley Keiner.

You got like the whole Harley Keiner head.

The Harley Keiner face.

It says Harley on your shirt.

Oh, this is terrible.

Uncle Eric is running for senator.

Can we count on your vote?

I don't know.

What are you gonna do for the little guy?

I never really thought of you as a little guy, Harley.

You know something? I'm sure this school is really well taken care of.

What are you doing?

I'm supposed to.

Babies. You kiss babies, you maroon.

(Sighs)

Okay, Matthews. You kiss nice. You got my vote.

All right, well, hey, there's one.

Now how many do we need, robot?

Three million.

And how many do we have, robot?

One.

Now burn me with your laser eyes.

No, don't. Okay, do it. Do it.

Let's not. Let's not, let's not. Okay.

Okay, phew. You know, we get along really well, don't we, robot?

Yes, because with you around I feel really good about myself.

Ha!

Okay, everybody, up here please.

Cory: In the 1960 presidential election, a young senator from Massachusetts was not expected to b*at Richard Nixon, the current vice president.

But then they held the very first televised debate.

And John Kennedy, the underdog, became the 35th president of the United States.

That's how powerful the media is.

Senator Graham.

Topanga Matthews, isn't it?

I never forget a face.

Especially one that came out against me.

My law firm opposed the senator's plan to charge admission to parks and recreational areas that were previously free.

A dollar for kids to run around and play, wasn't it, senator?

It's all about making money for the state.

At the expense of our children?

Well, we don't have enough money and there's so many children.

That's enough.

Okay.

Eric, is this bow tie, big glasses, whisper man?

Um...

Could you say something?

I believe we're here to discuss the finer points of the campaign.

This is him.

He works for Graham.

No. He likes me.

Oh, I do like you.

Who's running your campaign?

The children.

The children. Ha!

Interesting.

(Clears throat) Yes, interesting.

I thought you'd like that.

Murphy.

Wolff.

I'm sorry. You guys know each other?

Another face that came out against me.

This guy's a little instigator who just won't go away.

Three debates.

As many as you want.

One debate.

One debate.

We have held this office for three decades. We will dictate all terms.

I'm sorry. You work for him?

Sure. Let's go with that.

But you picked me to run against him.

You said I was the only one that had a chance.

That's correct. You are the only one who has a chance to make the senator look good again in the eyes of the public.

See you at the debate, kids.

They played me. I'm just supposed to lose.

Supposed to.

Like Kennedy was.

To Nixon.

Yeah, but those guys weren't real!

I'm done. I'm going home.

I'm gonna miss you, Scarecrow, Lion, Dorothy.

Robot.

I think I'm gonna miss you most of all.

Current events. Somebody tell me what's going on.

We should always have parks to play in.

We should always look out for the little guy.

We should lower the voting age.

We need to treat this planet better.

I don't want to go to Mars.

I want to rule an earth that has good air and good water.

A good earth for our children.

Both: Our children?

I want 11.

Split 'em up however you want.

How do you want...

You get 11.

So suddenly you guys are involved in your world.

It's the only one we've got, isn't it?

That's true. So what can do we to make it better?

You have the vote.

Why don't they let us vote? They don't trust us?

I would vote to make sure everybody takes care of each other.

Everybody should have food and shelter and a warm coat for the winter.

I approve that message.

Well, I agree with you girls.

And, Lucas, you wanna lower the voting age?

Show us you can be trusted.

Find your issue. Find your passion.

Because we don't have enough.

In the last election, the voter turnout was the lowest in our history.

Change that. Teach us to care.

Well, how do we do that if we can't vote?

Find somebody you know who can.

Our parents?

Yeah, your parents.

And we'll listen to you. You know why?

You love us.

Yeah, we do.

You guys live in an age where you can send your message with just one click.

The media is even more powerful now.

So have a message.

Because it's your world too.

Uncle Eric, it's Riley. You've been sleeping here all day.

I'm sad.

Eric, it's Moesha. We need you.

So sad.

Did the big bad political men scare you?

They made me sad.

Well, get up. We need a voice!

No, not getting up.

And there is nothing you could do that's gonna make me possibly get... oh!

Oh.

That's just a big chocolatey bowl of goodness, isn't it?

♪ Get back in the race, you can put this in your face ♪

No, no, I will not be bought by your catchy jingle.

♪ Get back in the race, you can put this in your face ♪

Oh, man, now it's gonna be in my head all day, you mind witches. Gimme that.

Oh, that's the stuff.

So you're in?

Hold. Hold.

Hand.

I won't be needing that.

You know, they set us up to lose, Maya.

You know my name?

Of course I know your name. I like you very much.

Then help me grow up in a better world.

How?

Win.

You think we can?

Yeah, I do.

Why?

Because we completely believe in the impossible.

We believe that we can change the world.

Why?

Because we're kids.

Isn't that why you wanted our help?

Okay. (Shouts)

That's my niche.

Well, they went to the woods and found a blockhead, but he may be less of a blockhead than we thought.

Tonight's senatorial debate takes place at John Quincy Adams middle school.

This is the idea of the four eighth-graders who are the brains behind Eric Matthews, mayor of St. Upidtown.

Yeah, I know how it's pronounced.

They say the children are our future.

Let's hope so.

Okay. First question to senator Graham.

Please identify yourself.

Thank you.

Harley Keiner, head custodian.

I'm proud of my school and the environment I help create for my kids.

Aw, really? Thank you, my kids.

My question is, what are you gonna do for the little guy?

I have never believed there are little guys.

I've always believed that all voters are equal in stature.

I already don't believe you.

What about non-voters?

This election isn't about them.

They'll have elections of their own soon enough.

Lucas, you're not allowed to interrupt.

The senator has one minute.

Thank you.

Time.

Mayor Matthews, your response?

Of course this election is about them.

Every election is about them.

We have children and we make our whole lives about them.

I'm sorry. Hold on a minute.

Did you just say you had children?

Because you don't actually have any children of your own, do you, Matthews?

No, I don't. I have a niche and her brother who's my cousin Auggie!

I have come here to this fine school to stand in front of you children, even though you do not vote, because you're too young to understand what's important in this world.

Well, we understand that we want our chance to get to live in it.

And that's what should be enough to lower the voting age so we can get a chance to vote against people like you.

To vote for whom? Him?

This man-child who doesn't even have experience in his biggest issue?

He has not raised children.

Convince me you have a right to lead them, and I will concede the future to you and to them.

You're right.

I don't have the experience that you have, but you've been doing this for a very long time, senator, and we don't see anything getting any better.

And, no, I don't have kids yet, but I care about them very much.

But you can't prove it.

TJ: But I can.

Excuse me?

My name is TJ Murphy. Thomas Jonathan Murphy.

Eric Matthews knew me once as...

Tommy?

Hi, Eric.

Okay, he fakes left. He sh**t.

He scores! They win the championship!

They win the championship! They win...

I'm the oldest kid at St. Mary's. I don't even fit in my bed anymore.

What do you want me to do, Tommy?

Are you gonna adopt me or not?

I'm not gonna adopt you.

I don't like you anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that, Tommy.

I'm going to California to be with people who care about me.

I'm very mad at you.

I know.

I didn't wanna leave without saying goodbye.

The best thing Eric ever did for me was one of the hardest decisions he had to make.

He gave me up to a wonderful family that raised me, but I've never forgotten what I learned from Eric, either.

Kindness, honesty and more respect for human beings than I've ever known anyone else to have.

Eric Matthews sacrificed himself for the future of a child.

You sacrificed the future of children for yourself, senator.

So here's my question: Is there really any choice here?

Man.

Look at you.

You grew up to be a really good person.

Yeah, I learned from some really good people.

And now you may applaud.

Well, maybe we don't have vote, Lucas.

Did you just call me Lucas?

I've always known your name. I like us all very much.

Maybe we do have a voice.

So, what do you want to say, robot?

You. Me.

Earth. Let's do this thing.

Eric, what's the first thing you're going to do if you win?

I'm going to adopt Tommy.

Can't. But you can hire me.

I'd like to keep being part of the campaign, if it's okay with you.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Guys, did you hear? Uncle Eric could win.

He could be one of our country's leaders.

Yeah, we know.

So where you going?

Far.

Far far away.

As far as we can go. Good luck to you.

Bye.