02x16 - Girl Meets Cory and Topanga

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Girl Meets World". Aired: June 2014 to January 2017.*
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Curious and bright 7th grader Riley Matthews and her quick-witted friend Maya Fox embark on an unforgettable middle school experience but their plans for a carefree year will be adjusted slightly under the watchful eyes of Riley's parents - dad Cory, who's also a faculty member (and their new History teacher), and mom Topanga, who owns a trendy after-school hangout that specializes in pudding.
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02x16 - Girl Meets Cory and Topanga

Post by bunniefuu »

Yeah... I'm not buying the sleepwalking bit for one second.

Would you let me have cold spaghetti at midnight if I was awake?

Nope.

(Growls)

What are you guys doing up anyway? It's midnight.

They're trying to throw out those people who own that wonderful old bookstore over on Jane street.

They want to put in another fast-food super cluck.

But they're the world's most powerful bucket of food people!

They don't scare me.

Who are you?

I am no friend of the super cluck!

They're trying to take over the whole neighborhood.

But I will be there everywhere they want to go.

So, you stay up late and protect our community?

Trying.

Yeah, well, you know what I do at night? I sleep.

Well, that's very important, honey.

Well, a kid like me needs 15 hours.

Dad, mom's trying to save our whole city.

How are you gonna b*at that?

I'm trying to get through Maya's paper.

He b*at you.

"'America's foreign relations at the dawn of the cold w*r, '

"250 words by Maya hart.

"What's up, Matthews?

"It's me, Maya.

"I owe you 218 words.

Good luck with that."

So, you guys are staying up and protecting our city and our minds...

While what I do is sleep.

Well, honey, you're really very good at it.

"'Why no one should talk but me' by Farkle Minkus."

Seven hours till school is over!

You know what my mom does?

She uses her intelligence to help the powerless against the powerful.

Yeah. She's really somethin'.

My dad tries to teach you stuff.

Mm. He's cute.

What will I ever do?

You'll do stuff.

What?

Riles, the great thing about being us, we don't have to worry about being them.

Too late. I started and I don't like where it's going.

Riley, if you're trying to tell me how great your parents are, I know.

You're very lucky to have them.

Not everybody does.

Maybe they're the lucky ones, Maya.

Why?

They're Cory and Topanga and... I'm just their little shadow, living in the reflection of the sun.

What do you do when you know you'll never be as good as your parents?

(Theme music playing)

♪ I've been waiting ♪
♪ for a day like this to come ♪
♪ struck like lightning ♪
♪ my heart's b*ating like a drum ♪
♪ on the edge of something wonderful ♪
♪ face-to-face with changes ♪
♪ what's it all about? ♪
♪ Life is crazy ♪
♪ but I know I can work it out ♪
♪ 'cause I got you to live it with me ♪
♪ I feel all right, I'm gonna take on the world ♪
♪ light up the stars, I've got some pages to turn ♪
♪ I'm singing oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ take on the world ♪


Ferdinand Magellan. What did he do?

First bull with a last name!

First man to circumnavigate the globe.

Who are you gonna believe?

Everyone thought the world was flat. Why?

They could only see to the horizon.

They were too scared to go out.

They thought they'd fall off the world.

I don't blame 'em.

Well, what about you guys?

What's your horizon line?

Write down the one thing in life you consider impossible.

Where do you fall off the earth?

Well, it looks like everyone found something pretty easily.

That's too bad.

Because when you think you can't do something, your world is as flat as a piece of paper.

So, crumple them up.

Now, look at 'em.

You hold your world in your hands.

Nothing's impossible if you take a sh*t.

So, take a sh*t.

Take a sh*t, Farkle.

Oh, that's okay, sir.

Why not?

Well, I'd only miss.

Do you mind?

Hey, it's not like it's a big surprise.

"Athlete."

You don't think you could be an athlete like Lucas if you tried?

I'm not sure you can be as good as someone just because you want to, sir.

Well...

You'll never know unless you take a sh*t.

Why are you smiling at me so pretty?

Because I want the last thing you ever see to be nice.

Okay, so... Farkle has just given us a great idea for an assignment.

(Class groans)

Yay.

Farkle, you're gonna become an athlete.

Class: Yay!

(Farkle groans)

Mr. Friar...

Oh, no.

Your assignment is to help him get there.

I'm sorry if this changes what you thought was impossible.

No, that's what I had.

Ha ha.

That's what I had.

Riley...

Is there anything in your sweet Riley mind that you consider impossible?

There is no future to look forward to to where I'm anywhere near as good as you guys.

What are you talking about?

You and mom, Cory and Topanga... you're my impossible thing.

I don't understand.

Maybe some people do just fall off the world, dad.

What do you mean, Riley...

(School bell rings)

Look, it's just today's thing. It'll be gone tomorrow.

The only thing going away is me.

Can somebody please direct me to the edge of the earth?

I assume it's near the river.

Now?

You're falling off the world now?

I can't compete with you.

In what?

Life.

So, I have to go and find my own way.

I have to go and create my own individual path and I must do it all alone, by myself.

Come on, Maya!

Um... we'll be at the river.

Here?

You think this is falling off the face of the earth?

My only chance at peace and serenity is at a sanctuary of solitude, away from mommy and daddy perfect.

Hello.

Is there something I can do for you young ladies?

I'd like to renounce all of my worldly possessions, except for all of my stuff!

Aww, you're fun!

Let me in, sister.

Life out here holds no promise for me.

Well, I'm very sorry to hear that.

What's your name?

Riley.

But I want my nun name to be sister Riley of perpetual Bleh.

Sorry, that name's already been taken.

How about sis ri per bleh 84263?

Or Blinky?

(Gasps)

Blinky was my second choice.

Congratulations. You're Blinky the nun.

How about you?

You don't want this.

All right, ladies.

May I ask what's really going on?

Sister Blinky is upset because her parents are perfect and she'll never live up to them.

Riley, let me help you.

Human perfection is unattainable.

In all of my experiences with people, there's only one who even comes close.

Oh. (Gasps)

The mother superior?

No, the next one.

Thank you, Topanga.

You have saved our orphanage from becoming a super cluck.

It was a group effort.

I'm only one Topanga.

Oh, hi, girls.

(Heroic music playing)

Cab!

(Wheels screech)

Now, if she were your mother, I'd understand why you'd wanna...

Oh, Blinky. Oh, you poor thing.

All right, Farkle. Let's see what you got.

(Grunts)

I quit.

I will not fail this assignment...

(Thuds)

I quit again.

You know what sitting in the stands, watching those games you play makes me realize?

You love sports?

Admit it. You love the thrill of competition.

Every sport is the same.

Being good at sports is just a matter of physics.

Don't you mess up America's most favorite thing with America's least favorite thing!

With the correct angle and velocity, I should make every sh*t every time.

Is that right?

Let's try a foul sh*t.

Just put this ball here through that hoop there?

That's it.

(Laser humming)

(Beeping)

Got it.

sh**t it.

Huh.

Huh.

I probably should've considered the x-factor.

And what's the x-factor?

(Laser humming)

(Beeping)

(Beeping increases)

I stink.

I've gotta say.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'd like to see you...

Do...

Better.

New sport!

Oh, please.

All I need to do is compact my body into a solid mass and then you can't pin me.

What is that? Physics? Okay.

New sport!

I've never even understood this game.

You run around the bases and try to get home, right?

Yeah.

Well, why do you need the other bases?

Because you can't get home until you get around all of them.

But the quickest way between two points is a straight line.

You want to get rid of the bases?

Yeah. Game's over sooner and we can all get back to physics.

Farkle, not everyone lives for theories and numbers.

Well, they should.

Come here.

sh**t.

(Scoffs)

It's a waste of time. It's an impossible sh*t.

Running the bases is a waste of time.

This impossible sh*t...

(Laser humming)

(Beeping)

Oh.

.. is not impossible at all.

I don't know, Farkle.

sh**t it.

I believe everything you say now.

And I believe basketball may not be so bad.

Wanna do it again?

Here?

You think this is falling off the face of the earth?
Well, hello.

Something I can do for you ladies?

I'm here to run away and join the circus.

Well, you came to the right place.

You got a circus name?

How about Blinky?

That's no good. I already got 50 Blinkys right now in a little car back there.

You know, I sense that you're not really running to the circus as much as running away from something.

You're very wise.

Thank you.

Anyway, all of us circus folk have, you know, run away from something at one time or another.

For me, it was my father.

I knew I could never live up to him.

You understand what I'm sayin'?

Yes, clown. Yes.

You know what this is?

(Gasps)

It's a pretty flower.

I think it's not.

Yeah, well, you know what?

It was handed down to me by my father, Jingles the first.

Was he a clown?

No, he made keys.

I would like to hear about the beautiful flower.

I will tell you about the beautiful flower.

It's a clown flower.

Whenever I am feeling sad in this world, I look at the flower and it makes me happy.

Oh, I would like to be happy.

Mr. Jingles, is there any way you would even consider allowing me to look at the pretty flower?

Is she for real?

I try, I try, and I try.

I'll take it from here.

You won't have to. Watch this!

I wanna look at the pretty flower!

She's like a gift.

Ah, just do it.

This flower is of the species carnatious in your facious.

Where's it from? Where's it from?

You know, I just don't have the heart.

She deserves it. Do it!

(Clears throat)

Made in China.

Look closer. Here we go.

Aah!

What's the matter, honey?

Did something happen?

Mr. Jingles...

May I please borrow your clown handkerchief to dry myself off?

Sure, kid.

(Sighs)

You know, it's not like I'm gonna be a clown my whole life.

My circusin' just got in the way of my...

Formal education.

How do I look?

Smart.

Yeah, but now we got this volunteer teacher who dedicates his free time to enriching our clown minds.

I wonder who the teacher is.

Who is he? Who?

Hey, Jingles.

I'll see you next week. Hey, girls.

(Heroic music playing)

Trapeze!

Home!

Now, if he was your father, I could understand why you'd wanna...

Oh, you poor kid.

My parents are superheroes.

Calm down, Blinky.

She saves orphanages and bookstores, and he dedicates his life to clowns.

What do I do?

You make your bed.

Not really.

All I do is just pull the comforter up over everything.

Get out of here!

But this is where the spaghetti is!

Riley...

I can't compete with them, Maya.

I have reached my personal horizon line.

There's nowhere for me to go.

Honey, you gotta get 'em out of your head.

I can't.

I know all of their stories.

They keep on repeating over and over.

Were they always so perfect?

What?

Sure, they're great now, but how were they at our age?

I bet they were just as messed up and confused as we are.

Maybe we should see that for ourselves.

How would we do that?

They've told me their stories a million times.

Maybe if we try and pick one and imagine them at our age, we'll discover how they really were.

Riley, how many times have I told you to stop being so innocent?

I'm going to tell you a story, Maya.

So, concentrate hard and maybe we'll see how they were.

Riles, I'm not gonna see your parents as kids because I concentrate.

Once upon a time, there was a Cory and Topanga.

It's not like someone recorded everything they did.

Concentrate!

And one day, Topanga went over to Cory's house...

May I ask you a personal question?

You tell a good story, Riley.

Sure.

Why are there socks all over your floor?

Oh, I was just practicing.

This is where my dad grew up. Look.

I envy your athletic ability.

Oh, this? It's not so hard.

Come on, I'll give you some pointers.

Cory: Anyway, the key is good color commentary.

This is where it all began!

Look at 'em.

They're eensy!

Your dad's adorable.

Maya!

Hey, Matthews, how you doin'?

Watch this.

Matthews sees an open lane, he drives hard to the boards, he leaps over Shaquille O'Neal, kisses it off the glass...

It's good! He scores!

I could never do that.

Sure you can. Give it a try.

But I'm not familiar with the terminology.

All right, I'll do the color. You just worry about getting the ball in the basket.

Topanga is triple-teamed at the time line, she breaks a trap, heads to the top of the key and leaps toward the basket, doing a spiraling tomahawk 360!

Slam dunk!

Look. We both made a basket.

Riles?

Yeah?

They were kids just like us.

Technically, yeah. But basketball is so much more fun when you actually move.

All right, you try and make another basket and I'll try and block you.

Look at him! You dad's as weird as you.

Yeah, he kind of is.

But she's great even then.

Yeah. Tough act to follow.

Way to go, Topanga!

(Giggles)

Even when they were kids, my parents were still perfect.

I don't know what to say.

There's nothing you can say, really.

If it helps, it seems like your dad was just as weird as you.

You're just like him, Riley. And he turned out great.

But did you see my mom?

She was completely together even then.

What hope do I have?

How can you b*at the impossible?

Can you? Did you? Is Farkle an athlete now?

Not as good as Lucas.

Oh. Well, will you ever be?

Doesn't have to be.

You don't have to be a great athlete to like the game.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

The fun of the game is running the bases.

Farkle, you actually ran?

Nothin'.

I don't get the moment, but I'm very disappointed.

Well, what happens if you get home and realize you're not as good as the rest of the team?

You keep playing.

It's a team sport, Riley.

You just run the bases.

The rest of your team will help you get home.

You know, when you walked me through their story, it's amazing to see how much you and your dad are alike.

Two goofs.

Yeah, I'm definitely his daughter.

But that's not the only story, Riley.

There's gotta be other stories about your mom.

She's perfect in every story.

Yeah? Tell me another one and we'll see.

Maya, I don't wanna tell you any more stories.

They make me feel bad.

Look, maybe if we go back, we can find something else.

There's gotta be something that makes them goofy like us.

I do know that there were other bay windows.

Really? Tell it to me.

Once upon a time, there was another bay window.

Now this sounds like a good story.

I have some ideas on our presentation.

So do I. Here's what we do.

We hit Feeny hard. We hit him fast.

The ozone layer... it's got a hole.

Wear a hat. We're in. We're out.

I kind of had a whole different approach to the report.

Less conventional, more performance art.

What's this story?

What's the difference?

My mom will still be perfect.

No, please. Let's stick to conventional.

Conventional's good because no one laughs at conventional.

Read this poem out loud.

Poem? Please, not a poem.

(Dramatic music playing)

"Sun. The only. The one.

"Donut in the sky.

"Space. Big gaping place.

"Without. Within. Our skin.

"Donut in the sky.

"Freon.

"Fluorocarbon. Humpback whale.

(Laughs)

Riley...

Wow. She's goofier than he is.

She is. Isn't that great?

"So pale. Exhaust.

Is all lost? Donut in the sky."

Riley, she's you.

Yeah, she is.

You're both of them.

I am.

Yeah, we could do that in front of the class, but before we do, will you just please take a huge baseball bat and hit me over the head?

Why do you care so much what other people think?

When people laugh at you, they're depleting their own karmic reservoir.

You're gonna be one of those girls who doesn't shave her legs, aren't you?

I haven't decided yet.

Do you actually try to be weird?

I don't think I'm weird.

I think I'm unique.

I don't think I'm weird, Maya.

I think I'm unique.

He's Cory, she's Topanga.

But I'm both.

I'm not going to fall off the face of the earth.

There is no end to my horizon.

My parents are Cory and Topanga, and they gave me the best parts of both of them.

I'm not going to be you or mom, dad.

We don't want you to be, Riley.

I'm going to have my own stories.

And I can't wait to watch them.

Riley?

Yeah?

Where'd you get that hat?

Oh. You gave it to me a long time ago.

Don't you remember?

No.

It looks great on you.

Thanks, dad.

It's going to help me run the bases.

And I'm glad I'm on your team.

Excuse us.
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