03x14 - Girl Meets She Don't Like Me

[bunniefuu]

Look at all of these new people.

No.

Why "no"?

Because you're getting all interested in everybody, aren't you?

What's wrong with getting interested in people?

No.

Why "no"?

Because you're only supposed to be pretend interested in however many people we already know.

You're only pretend interested in people?

Yeah. Everyone's more comfortable that way. Watch.

Hey, you.

Hey, you!

Now watch this. How are you?

How are you?

No, I really mean it. How are you?

Back off.

Yeah, get out of my life.

I look out at the sea of new students and would like to explore the potential of new friendships for us.

What would you like?

I would like everyone to mind their own business.

Don't you think that somewhere around here could be a wonderful new friend for us?

I would have to learn names!

I'm still learning "Zay."

It's Zay, right?

We are going to make one new friend.

If we make one new friend every day for the rest of the year, you know what we'll have?

Lice. We'll have lice. I guarantee you.

It's great to have you back, Maya.

Thanks. My hair is way too long to make new friends.

So who's it gonna be?

Who's the lucky person who's going to get blessed with our special kind of friendship?

I wouldn't force that on anybody.

Watch me.

Hi! Good morning!

My name is Riley Matthews and this is my friend Maya Hart.

Sup?

I wanted to introduce myself to extend the warmest of invitations to be our new friend.

I really like what you're wearing.

Great hair, nice eyes, good knees.

Be my friend?

Watch this, Maya.

This is how new friendships are born.

I don't like her at all.

She... she don't like me.

Watch whatever happens next.

Hi, Maya.

Who's this? A new friend of yours?

Well, any new friend of Maya is a great friend of mine.

Hi.

Wow.

And they lived here for the rest of their lives.

(Theme music playing)

♪ I've been waiting ♪
♪ For a day like this to come ♪
♪ Struck like lightning ♪
♪ My heart's b*ating like a drum ♪
♪ On the edge of something wonderful ♪
♪ Face to face with changes ♪
♪ What's it all about? ♪
♪ Life is crazy ♪
♪ But I know I can work it out ♪
♪ 'Cause I got you to live it with me ♪
♪ I feel all right ♪
♪ I'm gonna take on the world ♪
♪ Light up the stars ♪
♪ I've got some pages to turn ♪
♪ I'm singing "Go-o-o" ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ Take on the world, take on the world ♪
♪ Take on the world ♪

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Somebody doesn't like me.

"Somebody doesn't like me" who?

What's the difference?

I don't have time for games.

You're being ridiculous.

Oh, great. Thank you so much. You fixed me forever.

Don't overreact to this.

You'll only make it worse, okay?

We're out in the world now. You're gonna have to face little setbacks.

You can't have everyone like you.

Why not?

Because you can't control the world and you can't control other people in the world.

The only thing you can control is your own reaction to what goes on.

You're right, and this is how I choose to react:

(Crying howl)

♪ Lee, lie, loo, la, la ♪
♪ Lay your head down, little nut-job ♪
♪ Wake up when you're normal ♪
♪ Lee, lie, loo ♪

What did I ever do to her, Maya?

(Softly) Who knows? Who cares?

Let it go.

♪ Lee, lie, loo ♪

(School bell rings)

Oh, yay.

(Gasps)

Maya, I had the worst dream!

You were in my dream!

Don't dream about me.

I don't like you.

(Breathing heavily)

No, no, no, no, no.

How's it goin'?

Someone doesn't like Riley, my legs are asleep, we have Health class.

Okay. Come on.

No.

(Thud)

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I can't control who likes me or not, but there's more to life, like Health class.

I am so excited for today's Health class.

"Our bodies, our friends." Yikes.

Oh, I'm sure that the teacher's sensitive take on life will be a lovely way to learn how our bodies work.

What's that?

All right, all you creepy little child-adults, settle down. Let's get this over with, huh?

Ugh. Put your hand down, Sunshine.

You'll all pass no matter what.

You know why?

'Cause if I fail ya, I gotta meet your parents.

I don't want to meet your parents.

I don't want to meet you.

All right. (Snorts)

Let's talk about your bodies.

(Thud)

Yeah, I don't blame him.

Are you sure that you're the right person to teach us this?

Why don't you give me a chance?

I may surprise ya.

I want this to be taught to me in a delicate and sensitive manner.

Yeah? Well, surprise.

You can't control this either, Riles.

Welcome back, beloved.

All right, everybody open your Health textbooks to page 73.

(Thud)

He is the only one here that knows what he's doing.

And that's what they taught us in Health class about our bodies.

You okay, Bubba?

I'm telling everybody.

You're not tellin' anybody.

Concentrate on somethin' else.

I can't.

He's a gym teacher.

Why would they have a gym teacher teach us about our bodies?

This is another thing you can't control.

Could you please tell Riley that there's nobody in this world who can control everything?

(Door unlocking)

That ought to do it.

Hi. It's me.

Oh, good!

Your daughter wants to control what happens to her in life, and she needs someone to tell her she can't, and you are the worst person in the world for the job.

Out of all the houses in the world she could have walked into, she walks into ours.

(Chuckles)

Well, I did used to be a little bit of a control freak.

(Laughs)

"Used to be"? (Laughs)

I just thought of something funny I just heard right now... from me.

In school, I'm supposed to write a big report about what life means to me.

Oh, great. I'll help you.

Why?

Because I can't control who likes me or who teaches me or my own life, but I can sure control yours.

You know what's the best about being the youngest? Nothin'.

Riley, you can't worry about what people think because you can't control what people think.

The truth is, when you try to control life, life does its best to teach you not to.

There's a girl who doesn't like me.

What's that you say now?

Okay, honey. You just keep being you, and she's gonna come around.

So, we don't try to control it?

No.

We just let it be?

Yes.

How?

Well, see, what's gonna happen all on its own is that Daddy's gonna get me her phone number, see?

And then perhaps, I don't know, maybe I have a little howdy do with her mommy.

And if you don't have a new friend by 9:00 tomorrow, as natural as flowers in the springtime, well, then maybe Leonard, the income tax attorney in Mommy's office, he's gonna do just a little bit of research into their family's paperwork and see if there are any inconsistencies.

♪ Lee, lie, loo ♪
♪ Lee, lie, loo ♪

That's so soothing.

(Softly) Yes, it is.

I'm gonna put Momma to bed now.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

I can do what I want.

Yes, you can.

I'm the boss of this world.

Yes, you are.

Huh. Riley, listen.

I'm sure Mr. Fanucci knows what he's doing.

I need you to tell him to treat our Health class with dignity and sensitivity.

Okay, but it's been my experience that when you try to control things, they only turn out worse.

Promise me you'll tell him that.

Okay. I promise you I'll talk to him.

What could be worse than learning about my body from the boy's gym teacher?

Nothin'.

Ya happy?

Do it.

♪ Lee, lie, loo, la ♪

Shh, shh. ♪ La, la, la ♪

So I said, "Hey, Fanucci, don't take this the wrong way." He did.

"Can you be a little more sensitive in Health class?" He can't.

So, here I stand in front of you begging you to make this easy on me.

Put that hand down forever.

You have to answer my question about the body.

Uh...

Maya, it's my father! He doesn't know anything.

I know things.

What is the body?

What does the body want?

I'm gonna tell ya.

Soup.

Now you know everything.

Goodnight!

What do you want?

Smackle time, please.

Absolutely.

Hey, I thought it was "Farkle time."

It is Farkle time.

It's always been Farkle time. It'll always be Farkle time.

Farkle time is a worldwide phenomenon, a division of Farkle Enterprises and the incontrovertible essence of my soul.

It's Smackle time from now on.

Mr. Matthews is our teacher and our friend who always encourages us to pursue the subject matter.

Not this time, baby.

We will begin.

On page 73 of your Health books, what they're trying to teach you is (Bleep).

(Bleep)

You're not going to believe what that man of yours did today.

Oh, sure I will, but Auggie wants to tell Riley something first.

Oh, yay! Your homework.

The one thing I was able to completely control.

How could you fail what life means to me?

Yeah.

Perhaps Mrs. Pigsniffle asked me if I did the work myself.

"Mrs. Pigsniffle"?

Yeah. You're the first to notice it.

She could tell I helped you with it, huh?

She told me that this was clearly the work of a fifth grader.

(Stifled laugh)

Ugh.

She don't like me, my father teaches soup, and I can't even help my own brother with his homework.

You want to break it to her or should I?

Riley, as much as I've tried, it's impossible to control what goes on all the time.

I know how hard that was for you.

It's k*lling me. I'm smiling, right?

Auggie, your teacher wants you to write what life means to you, not what it means to somebody else.

Then I will. Thanks anyway, Riley.

You're welcome, Auggie. Good luck with everything.

I give up.

Riley, as much as I try, it's impossible to control what goes on all the time.

Sometimes it's okay to just be a leaf in the wind and see where we land.

Even when we don't like what's happening to us?

Especially then.

Because that's when I found out life was usually trying to teach me something.

Well, what could this be trying to teach me?

It teaches you who you are.

Because as much as we think we show everybody who we are when we're completely in charge of what happens, we find out who we really are when we're not.

Thanks for being my mom.

You're welcome.

That's who I am.

Lucas, what would you do if there was somebody in your life who didn't like you?

I'd go like this.

That would work for you?

(Giggles)

Smackle!

Do it.

(Giggles jaggedly)

Thanks, honey.

Zay?

Riley?

What would you do if there was somebody in your life who didn't like you?

Oof. I'd move to New York.

(All laugh dryly)

(Laughs dryly)

Maya, what would you do?

I just don't care as much.

Well, you cared when you used to be me.

Yeah, and it was exhausting, but I'm better now, Riles.

You want to feel better? Don't care so much.

I don't know how to do that.

I care that people like me.

Do people like me?

Of course they like you.

They do?

You like me, Lucas?

Sure.

He's sitting right next to me!

Riley, there's not a person in this world that wouldn't like you once they got to know you.

Oh, well, that's very nice of you, Lucas, but the more me I was, the faster she ran away.

Come on. Who cares about her?

Let's think about something else.

Yeah, maybe if we move on and think about something else, then we could get on with our lives... she said, knowing that was crazy.

Hey, guys, did you know that astronomers calculate that there are one billion trillion stars in the observable universe?

One billion trillion?

Well, that's just amazing.

I thought it was less.

Zay: I know!

It gives you so much to think about...

Other than whatever's going on in our little lives.

A billion trillion stars?

You could give them all Riley names is what you could do.

I'll get you started.

Twinkly, Sparkly, Twinkly.

There's three.

It certainly shows how vast the universe is and how small we are.

Hey, you're right.

We're all just specks. That's all we are.

And that other speck doesn't like me!

Did you finish your paper, Auggie?

Yeah. I still don't really know what Mrs. Pigsniffle wanted, so I just tried to answer the question.

Can we hear it?

What Life Means to Me by Auggie D. Matthews.

Your middle name isn't "Doggie."

"I've been here seven years and I think life is a good idea. I love my mom and dad, my sister Riley, my wife Ava, my apartment where I live in America and everything that happens to me every day."

Nice job, Auggie.

So nice when you're young and still in control of everything.

I'm not in control of anything.

That's what makes life so easy for me.

What?

Yeah. When you think about it, nothing's really my fault yet 'cause I'm still cute.

It's the first thing I check every day.

How did you get such a good attitude?

Because every day when I say "Good morning, Mrs. Pigsniffle," I realize how lucky I am.

So when do you start wanting to be in control of things and when do you lose it?

I remember I started getting real confused about things when I was 11 or 12.

When does it end?

No.

So, you know nothing when you're a baby, when you're nine, you're just figuring things out, and when you're 12, you get confused forever?

That's life?

Yep.

10 and 11.

The Good Years by Cory Matthews.

Mornin', crunch bars. What up?

Auggie was just reading us his paper about life and everybody he loves.

Am I in it?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

You didn't put me in it.

I'm never even gonna see 10 or 11!

No, you won't!

My good years are behind me, I have 80 star names to go, and I go to a high school where somebody doesn't like me.

Look on the bright side.

Bright Side! 79 to go.

And now, this.

One of the most intricate parts of the human body is...

No!

I want to talk to you guys today about the human foot.

Uh-huh.

Ha.

Questions?

See, what we have here is a man with nothing to say.

Sad.

Give up, Matthews?

Okay.

It's not so easy to explain the wonders of the human body to the freshman class, huh?

Or anyone.

So did he teach it to you in the delicate and sensitive manner you requested, Sunshine?

Not quite, but it's out of my control.

Everything is.

Mm. (Blows raspberry) Wrongo!

Wrongo?

I've been doing this 20 years.

It is never graceful.

But it's always important.

'Cause after you get past all your laughter and your embarrassment, we all arrive at one thing: you get this one mind and you get this one body.

That's what's completely yours to control.

How you take care of it, how you treat it, how you nourish it, what becomes of it.

It's completely up to you.

Especially when it seems like nothing else is.

Boy, do you have the right teacher here.

Does life know what it's doing or huh?

Uh, you know what else there is about the human foots?

They do...

Yeah, they all do that.

All right, here is the thing about Health.

This is what makes you healthy: whenever it seems like everything else is just out of control, you need to be able to rely on your own minds and your own bodies to be whoever you are.

'Cause knowing who you are, that's the best control you could possibly have.

So, make good decisions about yourselves.

That's the best thing I can teach you.

He's pretty good, Riley.

Yeah.

Maybe I should just control me.

Maybe that's okay.

What about "Our bodies, our friends"?

What about page 73?

(Thud)

Oh, yeah.

Listen, someday, way down the line, please, if you make more of yourselves... teach them the same thing.

They'll thank you for it.

Thank you.

Anytime, Sunshine.

Why did you make us set our alarms for so early?

I had such a good dream.

You know what I was dreaming of?

How you doin'?

We're holding balloons, Riley.

Why are we holding balloons?

I know that sometimes I can be a handful...

All: No...

Yes, yes, you are.

But I learned something and I want to share it with you guys.

This is our letting go ceremony.

We will let go of all of the things that we think we can control but we really don't.

Well, I'm not doin' it.

You don't control that.

Except each other. We will never let go of each other.

See?

Okay, everybody. Let go of your balloons.

What happens now?

Well, whatever life does to us, maybe we can't control it, but we can be who we are and... control how we react to it.

Hi.

(Sighs)

Yeah, I still don't like you.

Well, I like you.

Woman: ♪ Here comes Mr. Googly ♪
♪ And his googly, boogly friends! ♪

Honey, I'm home!

We're watching Googly.

I decided to stay young and cute as long as I can.

You can't control that, Augs.

Nobody can control anything.

Yeah. Might as well learn that right now.

(Channel changes)

Reporter: And in local news, one Greenwich Village family has been found guilty of four counts of tax evasion.

When asked to comment, they said they would have gotten away with it, except their daughter chose not to like the wrong person at school.

Just another reason everybody should like everybody.

What did you do?

Nothin'.

Nobody can... can control nothin'.

D... dessert?

Who wants dessert?

I'll tell everybody what they're having.