01x10 - Flamingos

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "Ballers". Aired June 2015 - October 2019.*
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"Ballers" is a look at former and current football players, their families, friends, and handlers.
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01x10 - Flamingos

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Kane is in the building, n*gga... ♪

(music playing)

♪ Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top ♪
♪ When only heaven's right above it, we on ♪
♪ 'Cause we on ♪
♪ Who else is really trying to f*ck with Hollywood Cole? ♪
♪ I'm with Marley G, bro ♪
♪ Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows ♪
♪ And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know ♪
♪ This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow ♪
♪ And, uh ♪
♪ My real friends never hearing from me ♪
♪ Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me ♪
♪ That's why I pick and choose, I don't get sh*t confused ♪
♪ Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos ♪
♪ And these days all the girls is down to roll ♪
♪ I hit the strip club and all them b*tches find the pole ♪
♪ Plus, I been sippin', so this sh*t is movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go. ♪


Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning.

Guys.

(People murmuring)

Man: It's more embarrassing than anything.

Man 2: Shh, shh, shh.


Where the f*ck's my stuff?

What the hell happened?

Hurricane Joe's what happened.

Category 5.

(glass crunches)

(groaning)

f*ck you!

I f*cking hate everybody!

Holy sh*t.

Good morning, Spencer.

Hello.

I'm Virginia.

Let me show you upstairs. Come on.

Am I fired, Virginia?

(Chuckles) This is your new office.

I'm your new assistant.

Mr. Anderson will be with you in a minute.

And you're fine as hell.

Thank you.

(Exhales)

A balcony. sh*t.

Huh, how about it?

Tell me you love your new locker.

It's f*cking dope.

Tell me where you hid the camera crew.

I don't have the patience for practical jokes.

So?

I thought you were gonna clip me.

Clip you? (laughs)

My friend, you are the one who handled the Angela Lee situation.

You are the one who brought us big-time players, most importantly, Vernon Littlefield.

I hear his offer is huge.

Who'd you hear that from?


I make a lot of charitable donations.

Only way in this world to make friends.

I prefer to make mine the old fashioned way.

To each his own.

Spencer, you have shown me that you can right the ship in the middle of a sh*t storm all while preventing an iceberg like Joe from sinking you, so I'm promoting you.

And where's Joe in all this?

Well, he wasn't exactly pleased with the new chain of command and resigned in true Joe Krutel fashion.

The man loves a spectacle, I'll give him that.

Joe can be hotheaded sometimes, but I can't do this without him.

Bullshit. I'm dumping five million into our new sports division.

I'm handing you the keys to the kingdom.

You can hire a whole team of Ivy League douchebags to handle the numbers.

It's not just that. Joe has connected with our clients in ways that I could never have imagined.

Spencer, now is the perfect time to announce to the world that Vernon Littlefield and all the other players that you've brought in are repped by my new sports division and Spencer Strasmore, future Hall of Famer, number 92, is the man behind the wheel for me.

PR is creating a campaign as we speak.

(Phone buzzes)

Hey, champ, how's things?

Oh, you know, one of those good news, bad news days.

Tell me about it. Vernon finally checked in.

And?

He doesn't want to sign his deal.

You gotta be kidding me, right?

I'd have to have a pretty sick sense of humor to find that funny.

It's exactly what he asked for.

He won't even talk to me.

You know where he's at?

Mentally, no.


But I know where we can find him.

All right, I'll pick you up in an hour.

(Kids clamoring)

All right. All right.

Ricky! Ricky!

All right, listen.

Look, look. You did a good job.

Brandon, you did a good job today, man.

Way to keep your head up. Who's next? I got you.

Ricky! Ricky! Ricky!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Y'all, wait a second. What do you want it to say?

"To Shawn. f*ck you, Dad.

Your hero, Ricky Jarret."

How about we leave out the "F you" part, okay?

No cussing. It's not nice to cuss.

And I don't want your old man mad at me.

He's in jail for not paying child support.

"f*ck you, Dad" it is.

(kids laugh)

"f*ck you, Dad" it is.

There you go. Listen, did y'all have a good time today?

Kids: Yeah!

So did I. So did I.

Y'all are great, all right?

Love this sport, keep God first.

What do the shirts say?

Kids: Ricky's Runts!

What do the T-shirts say? - Ricky's Runts!

What do we say?

Stay fit, eat healthy!

All right, there you go.

How about an autograph for your biggest fan?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Uh, what do you want it to say?

How about "Sorry for sh*t talking you on national TV

'cause without you, I would not exist"?

Or "Man, you look good in that outfit."

How about "Go f*ck yourself, assh*le"?

Richard, that's no way to talk to your father.

I ain't talking to my father.

Oh, you can't talk to me, but you got no problem talking about me.

How much you want?

Look over there. You see that fine-ass Mustang?

That's your daddy's ride.

I didn't come here for your money.

I came here for a little conversation.

Hey, hey, hey, Richard, come on, man.

Come on, now. Don't be like that.

(Knocks)

Hey, Spence.

Hi, Joe.

What's going on?

Well, I stopped by Abuelas.

I picked up some Cuban coffee, some flan.

You like flan, right?

Yeah, I like flan. Come on in.

Wow, place is nice and tidy.

Yeah, Mr. Clean is the man behind that shine.

Yeah, does Mr. Clean want to tell me exactly what the f*ck happened between you and Anderson today?

(Chuckles) Nothing I wasn't expecting.

Joe, I'm your f*cking partner.

You resign and you don't talk to me?

(Chuckles) That f*cking assh*le.

You were the one who quit in a blaze of glory.

The whole f*cking office has to have group counseling now because of you.

I didn't f*cking quit, Spence.

I was fired.

Why else would I trash the f*cking place?

'Cause you're a crazy m*therf*cker, that's why.

He's a liar.

Look, I admit it.

I can push the envelope sometimes, right?

But there's nothing crazy about taking our clients and opening up our own shop.

I found a perfect spot. Can get a great deal on the lease.

Look, there's no way we can cover the overhead.

There's computers, furniture, travel, your f*cking bar tabs.

Joe, I've got next to nothing in the bank. Zero seed money.

I got some socked away.

Enough to launch a company?

Enough to convince a bank to lend us the balance.

Do you know how to run an entire company?

'Cause I sure as f*ck don't.

If Kendall Jenner can run a f*cking company, so can we.

Everybody has their own company nowadays.

In fact, you're nobody if you don't have your own company.

Joe, you got to stop flying off the f*cking handle like this.

I'm not flying off the handle.

I was fired.

I expressed my objection to that decision.

Now cleaning up, moving on.

And I think you should come with me.

Ain't it a little soon for all this?

We'll just take back what we don't use.

Like you say at the dealership, deals like this won't last.

Now, baby, this is the Wombat, okay?

It is the Lamborghini of baby carriages.

Now you can finally keep up with Ricky.

(Phone ringing)

Hey, it's Mr. Siefert from the Dolphins.

Answer it.

Hey, Mr. Siefert. How you doing?

Doing good, Charles. How you feeling?

Feeling like I let you down the other day.

I really wasn't at my best and I don't know if I've ever been worse.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Charles.

You got a lot of rust on you.

Peyton Manning once said, "Play till you suck."

You, my friend, definitely do not suck.


What do you mean I don't suck?

In fact, I want you to suit up for the Dolphins this season.

I don't suck.

You don't suck!

(laughing)

I'm so proud of you.

Yes!

You don't suck. (laughing)

That went well.

You said some unflattering things about me, Richard.

My name is Ricky, all right?

And it's the only thing you gave me to say.

I mean, back when we were in the league, we talked to the media about football instead of airing our dirty drawers.

I didn't know Glazer was gonna ask me about you, but I'm glad he did.

I'm glad people know what you all about now.

But airing your family business in the public eye, it ain't cool, son.

And you have no right to call me son, Dennis.

(Sighs)

Now, look, life was real sweet before.

But now I got reporters who want to interview me.

My barkeep won't serve me. My barber won't shave me.

And my old lady done kicked me out, put me on the couch in my own damn house.

And Korean girls are supposed to be docile.

I mean, it's a nightmare, Richard.

Your life is a nightmare?

Well, imagine what mine is like not having your love, huh, your respect, or your guidance.

Would you stop being such a baby?

I am not a baby.

All right? You're looking at a man.

Well, stop whining about what you don't got.

I mean, God damn, I can't believe you sitting up there and you can't appreciate what the hell I done gave you.

Exactly what the f*ck did you give me, huh, besides heartbreak?

All right? The feeling of being unwanted, not good enough?

I put that chip on your shoulder, boy.

I gave you that fire in your heart.

Come on, you think I knew my daddy?

Come on, man. sh*t.

That m*therf*cker was gone before Grandma's head hit the pillow.

And I hated him for it.

But, boy, let me tell you something.

I used that anger the same way that you use your hatred toward me on the field.

Come on, man.

It's the anger that made me so good.

And you're pretty damn good yourself. Don't think I ain't noticed.

Look... if it's props you want, take all my failures.

Take the trouble I get in, the people I hurt.

You didn't leave us for me, to help me.

You left because you are a coward.

Oh.

I'm a coward. - You're a bitch-ass coward.

And that's all you ever been.

Let me tell you something, young blood.

Me and you both, we done laid ourself out between them lines.

We got cornerbacks, we got safeties all wanting to put our lights out.

We ain't no g*dd*mn cowards.

Nah, son, that ain't us.

(Lighter clicks)

(squawking)

(camera clicks)

I didn't know you were a bird lover.

I love me some flamingos.

Say they're pink 'cause the shrimp they eat got some stuff called carotenoids in 'em.

That's f*cked up, right?

Yeah. Well, they also travel in flocks like you do.

That means they're loyal.

Safety in number protects them from their predators.

Which is why going MIA on us, Vernon, just wasn't cool.

We've been worried about you, man.

Just needed some time to myself, y'all.

sh*t was getting crazy.

Hey, Dallas wants to close your new deal today.

I already told Jason I'm not interested in talking about contracts right now.

I understand. All this talk about deals and dollars will make you lose sight of why you even put the pads on every Sunday.

It challenges your love for the game. But you need to get paid.

I just want to play out the rest of the season and see what happens.

Buddy, this is the deal of a lifetime, all right?

If you pass it now, it might not be there next spring.

It doesn't matter. We told them what we wanted weeks ago and I ain't settling for nothing less.

Well, they raised the number.

40 million guaranteed?

45 million.

They raised the overall. 75 over five.

$15 million a year.

Putting you right between McCoy and JJ Watt.

That is the exact company you need to be in.

Come here, man.

Okay.

Oh, man.

(laughing)

He's in a meeting, but I'll give him the message.

Okay, you have a good day, too. Bye-bye.

(Tracy moaning) Oh, yes. Yes.

(breathing heavily)

Tracy: Yes. (moaning)

(chuckles)


Yes. Yeah. Yes.

(Moaning) Yes!

(Clatters)

Oh, sh*t!


(laughing)

Shh.

(laughs) Okay.

Shh.

(muffled) Oh.

Anderson: Ahoy there.

Tracy: Yes.


(loudly) Hey, Mr. Anderson!

Is that a new shirt?

sh*t.


Come on.

I like it.

Well, thank you very much, Virginia.

You haven't finished your nails there.

You know, I had to take a break.

My carpel tunnel flairs up.

Where's my shoe? Get my shoe.

You gotta hold your wrist straight when you type.

Oh, okay.

You need some ice?

Good idea. Let's go.

Well, that was fun.

Thank you for showing me your office.

Your ceiling tiles are amazing.

(laughs)

Are you going to grab the brass ring or what?

I honestly don't even know.

What's stopping you?

Could lose a friend.

Well, you have to do what's best for you no matter what.

I don't quite know exactly what that is.

You'll figure it out.

You know, Spence, you're all right.

Reminder always helps. So are you.

Was that Tracy LeGette who I just passed in the hallway?

What did I miss?

She's a colleague
and she needed a little bit of guidance on an investment.

And I'm sure you gave it to her in spades.

That I did.

You look good at the helm there, Spencer.

It suits you well.

Still getting the hang of it.

But the Vernon Littlefield deal is done.

Never in doubt. So I guess that means we are in business.

Not quite. You lied to me.

Joe never quit. You fired him.

I was trying to lend his departure just a little bit of dignity.

I offered him a very generous severance.

That didn't prevent him from acting like a f*cking lunatic.

(Sighs) I'm gonna need more time.

Look out the window across the street.

Wow, getting ready to start the Anderson Financial navy?

That one is yours.

That boat's for me?

Yours for the taking.

I'm gonna be in Palm Beach. Virginia knows where to get ahold of me.

Try not to pop a vein mulling it over.

Oh, and I like the new lampshade.

You need anything, Boo Boo?

Coffee? Moist towel?

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Joe called.

He's waiting for you in Coral Gables.
(Crowd cheering)

(music playing)


(chatting)

(woman shouting)

(vomiting)

Miami Dolphins!

The greatest organization in the world!

The greatest organization on the planet.

This is what we do.

I have no idea where he found a camel in South Florida.

Yes, come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

The crowd is loving it. Ricky, Ricky, over here.

Thank you, Coach.

Yes! Yes!


Ricky, Ricky. Get over here.

Yes, come on, y'all.

Talk to me about this.

Is that a Louis Vuitton saddle I see?

Only the best for the best. It smells Louis, too.

I bet it does.

This is quite a showstopper you've got going on here.

How you feeling about camp?

I have survived the burning wasteland of the desert.

Okay.

I have been through hell.

But now the prodigal son has returned.

Let's ball the f*ck out, y'all.

Okay.

Thank you, Ricky.

Come on, y'all.

We're gonna have to cut the F-b*mb. You know that, right?

Come on, y'all! Come on, y'all! Come on, y'all!

Work it, baby.

That's what I'm talking about.

(Music continues)

♪ And loneliness yeah... ♪


Got it. You got it.

Yeah, swing it. Lots of hands. Swing it.

Swing it. Mm, yeah.

♪ How could I guess ♪
♪ When I'm only looking at myself? ♪


Great location, huh?

A little bit of a commute, yeah, but, you know, keeps the rents low.

I think it gives the brand kind of boutique feel.

Huh, meaning we're impossible to find.

(Both laugh)

Yeah, but so worth looking for.

Talked to a designer about hyping up the look, you know?

Just a little brown.

There's space for a weight room in case we want to pump some iron, relieve tension.

Might keep us both from breaking sh*t.

You know?

Oh, you know what I thought would be cool?

A meditation room. You know?

(Inhales) Got that idea from Google.

This would be your office right here.

It's the bigger of the two. I don't know.

I just thought you should have it.

Oh, oh, check this out.

You'll love this.

Look.

Strasmore Krutel Management.

I had the graphics geek put your initial first.

I don't know. I like to bat cleanup anyway.

Pretty cool, huh?

It's very nice.


Yeah. Yeah.

It is.

I mean, I'm sure it's not as flashy as what Anderson offered you, but we're starting from scratch, so...

It's all good, Joe. It all looks good.

Mm-hmm. - But how long will it last?

As long as we want it to.

I'm talking about you.

Spence, don't worry about me, okay?

I've had my wakeup call. Clear-eyed.

Change like this doesn't happen overnight.

Not everybody has to plumb the depths like you do.

Fortune favors the bold, Spence.

This is happening with or without you.

(Sighs)

I'm not ready for this, Joe.

What?

I can't do it.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

Okay.

Okay.

Guess I get the big office, then.

Cool. Works for me.

What's up, baby?

Yeah, man, good to see you.

Number's yours, Ricky.

You get to stick it to your dad for yet another season.

That's what you wanted, right?

I used to think so.

Now you think otherwise?

I do, man. I think I'm a whole lot bigger than that problem.

(laughs)

The Zen master ould be proud.

Yeah.

'Zo.

Yo, that entrance was spectacular.

This belongs to you.

Yo, you serious, man?

It's a new day, 'Zo.

Don't matter the number that's outside of a jersey.

It's what's inside that matters.


Unselfishness is an overlooked attribute.

I'm all about the team.

Don't metter what number they give me.

See that, man. Thank you, Rick.

No doubt.

(cheering)

(music playing)


41? 41 for a playmaker like me?

I ain't gonna forget about this come springtime, Mr. Siefert.

Believe that.

He's got something to prove this season.

Coach: Well, the kid looks ready.

(Whistle blows)

Set, hut!

(Men grunting)

Good, good, drive.

(Whistle blows)

Good, next crew.

(Whistle blows)


Shouldn't have left your rocker, old man.

Sending your big ass back to the Chevy dealership.

Coach: Set, hut!

(grunting)

Drive, drive, drive!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Huh?

What?

Hold up! Hold up!


(players shouting)

Learn some respect, rookie.

Back, back, back.

Hey, y'all be getting an education today.

Y'all know who this is?

(man laughs)

(music playing)

♪ Giving your heart and your soul ♪
♪ Giving every ounce of your all ♪
♪ When you're caught up in the riddle ♪
♪ And your pride ain't worth a nickel ♪
♪ No, no... ♪


I wasn't expecting you, Spencer.

I'm sorry to drop in like this, Mr. Anderson.

Don't worry about it. You want a margarita?

I would love one. Thank you.

Wow.

You have a beautiful home.

It didn't come easy.

The path to success is peppered with landmines.

One misstep and... (imitates expl*si*n)

This place, the quiet...

Thank you.

The beauty, the nature, it allows me to appreciate my good fortune.

You like nature, Spencer?

f*ring Joe was a mistake.

You gotta let that go, Spencer.

He lives for the job. You can't just take it away because he occasionally puts his foot in his mouth.

He threatened to sh*t down my throat until I choked to death.

He's passionate.

He's done.

If you cut Joe loose, it's gonna jam up our team chemistry.

And any time you have a good run like this going, you can't mess with that.

It's the last thing you want to do.

Every team breaks up, Spencer.

Guys retire, get released, traded, go to rehab.

And you know what? I think that Anderson and Strasmore make an even better pair.

But Joe and I have that magic.

We have that intangible thing that comes around once in a lifetime.

Okay, like Brady and Belichick.

Which makes me Robert Kraft.

It makes you Robert Kraft.

Do you know where Robert Kraft is going?

Directly into the Hall of Fame.

When we're finished with this, we will have the best g*dd*mn sports management division in the business.

Okay, we don't want to win just one or two championships.

We want to build you a dynasty.

We want to create a legacy.

And I say we because it doesn't happen without me.

And it doesn't happen without Joe.

And it sure as hell doesn't happen without you.

We all know that.

Mr. Anderson, I drove all the way up here to tell you that this is a package deal. Take it or leave it.

Well, that was a very nice speech.

(Music playing)

(chatter)


Hmm, you look like you could use a sh*t.

Ah, hell, yes. Two Don Julios, please.

Would you like them chilled?

Do we look like sorority sisters to you?

And no limes, either, okay?

This isn't f*cking Cabo.

Straight up is fine. Thank you very much.

You a little jumpy, Joe?

Yeah, well, my assh*le partner pussed out on me today, so...

Huh.

Well, your assh*le partner also brought you a gift signed by the man himself to you.

Giancarlo.

I felt bad about canceling.

I was watching, man.

That was really cool what you did for Balsamo.

He fixed my ride. Even trade.

Mmm.

Thank you, Charlie.

Hey, sorry about the course language.

No worries, cupcake.

(laughs)

Is there one bartender in Miami you're not on a first name basis with?

No.

(laughs)

Ah. So what is this, man?

Are you coming with me or not?

I think you should come with me.

All right, I'll bite. Where are we going?

We are going to Anderson 2-point-f*cking-0.

He gave us the entire sports division and he is backing it with $5 million.

And I told him there's no me without you.

You're making me blush, man.

You should.

So I'm unfired?

No, think of it as a promotion. He's doubling down.

Well, I guess he didn't receive that jar of feces I Fed-Exed him yet, huh?

(laughs) It's good to have you back, man.

We're gonna do great things.

Well, I never said I was going back.

Of course you're coming back.

I already signed a lease on the new place.

Come on, I'll tell Anderson to buy that sh*t out.

Well, let's just say my feelings are still f*cking hurt.

I suffered deep emotional trauma due to my wrongful termination.

Mmm.

And plus I stopped drinking for nearly 36 hours, man.

I don't like it.

No, you shouldn't. I don't blame you.

But would a 39-foot speedboat make you feel any better?

He gave you a f*cking speedboat?

He gave us a f*cking speedboat.

And it's all yours if you want it.

So first I was unfired and now I'm being regifted.

Come on, Joe. We've had a hell of a time together.

I've learned so much from you.

Come back and let's keep this big run going.

We're just getting started.

(Sighs) sh*t, man.

All right, you're on.

My man.

But Anderson gasses this bitch up for a year.

It's only fair.

It's very expensive.

Anderson 2-point-f*cking-0.

Anderson 2-point-f*cking-0. - My man.

I'm good at that.

I have one more surprise for you. Come on.

Gee, you're full of them today.

What did you do?

You got a boat and surprise, surprise.

Look who it is!

Spencer: Fellas, look who I got.

(All shouting)

Oh!

What up, Joe?

What's happening?

That makes two of us.

Good to see you.

Hey, man.

Check it out, Spence. Reg returned to the flock.

Welcome back from exile, brother.

I appreciate you inviting me.

And I'm gonna do right by Vernon.

Are you sure?

Ain't no doubt about it.

He better.

Well, if it weren't for you pushing, we would never have gotten this big-ass guarantee in the first place.

(Cheering)

Big guarantee, brother.

I'm just not used to guarantees, man.

I'm black. I'm skeptical.

(laughing)

It's all about the guarantee.

Yes, sir!

All about it.

Hey, can we, uh...?

What's up?

Yo, man, I just want to say I was out of line in saying that sh*t about you, you know, being adopted.

It's all good, brother.

No, no, man.

I mean, family means more to me than any contract could ever pay a man and I shouldn't have thrown it in your face.

I appreciate that.

You were just looking out for your boy the best way you knew how.

But now, moving forward, we do things the right way.

Oh, yeah, your way.

Well, we know you ain't ever gonna do that.

I'm talking about the right way.

Come to papa.

I have not, no. No.

(laughing)

Hostess: Pardon the interruption, everyone.

Your main course is served.

(Cheering)

That looks so good.

Thank you.

Everybody got what they want?

Where's the love, y'all?

Well, Vernon, I ordered something special just for you.

Good, 'cause I'm starving, Jason.

The Prime 112 special.

Ooh!

Jason: $18 million.


First part of your new contract.

(Cheering)

We made it. We made it.

I am liking this restaurant right now.

(laughing)

But I still need a plate, though.

Can we get the man a steak?

Ahem.

Uh, everybody, if I could have your attention, please.

Vernon, congratulations on becoming a very wealthy young G today.

Everyone, show Vernon some love.

(Cheering)

We've had some ups and downs lately, but here we are.

And make no mistake about it, Vernon, you deserve this for all your tireless work and for all the joy that you bring the fans, for playing the game the way it should be played.

Let's give it up.

Cheers.


(Cheering)

And to Vernon's family... Mama, I know you're so proud.

You're all so deserving of this.

That's it. Hand over all your credit cards right now.

(All laughing)

Spencer: Only kidding. Only kidding.


You can hold on to them. But, Joe, we are canceling them, right?

Happening as we speak.

Fantastic.

That's it. Let's bring more drinks out here.

Fried Oreos, food. Vernon, it's your party, brother.

Yeah, to the Littlefields!

(Cheering)

(music playing)

♪ If I ruled the world ♪
♪ Imagine that ♪
♪ I'd free all my sons ♪
♪ I love 'em, love 'em, baby ♪
♪ Black diamonds and pearls ♪
♪ Could it be, if you could be mine, we'd both shine ♪
♪ If I ruled the world ♪
♪ Still living for today in these last days and times ♪
♪ The way to be paradise, like relaxing ♪
♪ Black, Latino, and Anglo-Saxon ♪
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