01x06 - Housewarming

Episode transcripts for the 2013 TV show "Ray Donovan". Aired: June 30,2013 - February 2020.*
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Ray Donovan works for the powerful law firm Goldman & Drexler, representing the rich and famous. Donavon is a professional "fixer" for the rich and famous in LA, who can make anyone's problems disappear except those created by his own family.
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01x06 - Housewarming

Post by bunniefuu »

(Screams)

(Tires screeching)

Ray: What happened?

Ezra: I f*cking hit someone.

I dragged his body to the car and put him in the trunk.

You took me off a real homicide for a f*cking log?

Ray: What the f*ck are you doing?

f*ck me, Ray.

Lena: Abby's here.

At the office.

Ray: Get over to my apartment right away.

I got a girl handcuffed to my towel rack.

Is there anyone I need to worry about?

Frances: No.

Boy: Mom, come on. Let's go.

Aram: This place is great.

A good investment.

You think?

Sure.

Avi: Mickey's met with him a couple of times.

Ray: Avi, something's up.

What are we gonna do?

Your father's been here.

What did you say to him?

I don't remember.

You don't have a f*cking choice.

You have to remember.

I can't.

I have a brain tumor.

Who the f*ck are you, Ray?

♪ ♪

Ray?

m*therf*cker.

Hey! What...

What the f*ck, Ray?!

How's the water, Frank?

It's f*cking cold!

The f*ck am I paying you for?

You open an investigation on me without saying anything?

I don't know what the f*ck you're talking about, Ray.

I told you last time, didn't I?

We haven't had sh*t on you in years.

Who the f*ck is this?

That's Van Miller.

He one of yours?

Yeah, he's one of ours.

(Shouts)

g*dd*mn it, Ray!

Why's he talking to my father?

I thought your father was still in prison.

He got out!

You know anything about that?

No.

(Shouts)

g*dd*mn it, Ray!

No?

Well, you better f*cking find out or I'll tell your wife about that kid you support in Riverside.

Jesus, Ray, I'm with the f*cking FBI.

f*ck.

Give me your f*cking hand.

Give me your f*cking hand.

(Groans)

Damn it, Ray.

What do you know about Miller?

He works alone.

He gets sh*t done.

He's good.

If you think he's after you, he probably is.

Shut it down.

It doesn't work that way.

Ray...

Ray.

(Cell phone chimes)

(Bridget chuckles)

Enough.

I'm almost done.

If that's that boy, Bridg, all I'm gonna say is...

Don't. The look on your face says it all.

Uncle Bunchy's having a party. Can we go?

You're grounded.

Since when does he get his phone if he's grounded?

Abby: It's for emergencies.

Can I go?

It's a housewarming.

Bunchy bought a house?

For who?

For him and Mick.

He didn't tell me he was buying a house.

What, he didn't ask your permission?

Bridget: Can I?

No.

Nobody goes to that house.

And if Mickey calls either of you again, I want to know about it.

Jesus.

(Coffee pouring)

All right. Let's go.

Did you put on deodorant?

(Sighs)

Where you been?

Nowhere.

Really?

Why are your pants wet?

The marina.

The marina?

Yeah.

Are you buying a boat?

You mad at me?

I'm not mad at you.

I just don't get you anymore.

The handcuffs.

The dead priest.

Is that the guy that abused Bunchy?

Come on, Abs, you know I can't talk about business.

How is that business, Ray?

See, this is what I'm talking about.

This is it, just behind the frontal sinus.

But the incision is going to be right... there.

Just a little nick in the shape of an eyelash, just enough for the laser to get in and zap the tumor.

And that's it?

Well, we won't know until we start hitting it with radiation.

What we need to avoid is the optic nerve.

That is a biggie.

All right, so I'll see you in a couple hours.

What's he gonna do?

It's going to be okay.

He's, uh, going to shrink the tumor.

No! What are they doing?

Are they shaving my head?

I pride myself on my hair.

You know that.

I know that. I know that.

Just a little bit, sweetheart.

Where's Ray?

I want to talk to Ray.

Uh... Okay.

(Mickey grunting)

Mickey: sh*t, don't scrape nothing.

(Chuckles)

(Grunts)

Ah, it's coming together. See?

Ha.

Yeah.

Your little SNAP group really come through.

Three couches.

(Grunts) Got to give those Snappers credit.

I don't know.

Hey.

You just bought a house.

Where's your...

Where's your gusto? Huh?

And why not get some new furniture?

New furniture.

Little accessories.

Ray's gonna be so f*cking pissed I bought this place.

I'm not supposed to be spending so much money.

Ah, bullshit.

Maybe you are a bad influence.

Whoa. Wow.

All right, then.

But the decor really could use a woman's touch.

What, hookers?

Knock it off.

Who you calling?

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

Mickey: It's your father-in-law.

Hi, Mick.

Abby, look. I want to respect Ray's boundary issues.

I do.

Uh-huh.

Look, uh...

I got a little bit of a situation right now.

Uh, I'm out of my depth here.

Bunchy is freaking out.

He's very fragile.

What's wrong?

Well, it's the house.

Probably could've done better for the money, and, uh... all he's got here is a bunch of, frankly, pretty disgusting furniture.

All right, listen.

Let me see if I can stop by after lunch, okay?

Abby, thank you.

From the bottom of my heart.

All right.

Bye.

Voilà.

(Indistinct chatter)

Is that a new suit?

I just haven't seen you wear it before, is all.

It's nice.

I would like the turkey chili, a bread bowl and a Polish sausage, sliced lengthwise down the middle.

And you, sir?

May I have a cup of coffee, please?

(Van shaking packet)

Uh, could you hand me some napkins, please?

Thank you very much.

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

(Woman chuckles, exhales)

(Man moans)

(Moaning)

(Exhales)

Got to be a backdoor man, baby.

At least while we're getting to know each other.

NBA star's got to be careful, huh?

Yeah.

(Phone rings)

Yeah.

(Quietly): Deonte Brown just checked in with a club girl.

g*dd*mn it.

That's not all.

It's the limo driver.

Every time he pulls up, some girl hits the NBA lottery nine months later.

(Plopping into liquid)

(Plopping)

(Dialing)

(Line ringing)

(Cell phone ringtone playing)

Hello?

Deonte, stop.

Stop what?

Stop f*cking that girl.

I'm not f*cking her, dawg.

No. Deonte?

Oh, sh*t!

Deonte: What you doing, girl?

Deonte, I mean it!

Wait. Wait! Hold on. Oh.

No, n-no.

Hey, Deonte!

Oh! sh*t! Oh!

Hey! You stupid f*ck!

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

That was the truth.

What's your name again?

Baby, I'm just gonna get this out of here.

It is your will.

(Water running)

Okay.

(Toilet flushing, water continues running)

(Chitters)

(Door opens and closes)

(Phone ringing)

(Phone chimes)

Deb: Ezra's asking for you.

He's very agitated.

I'll be there as soon as I can, Deb, I promise.

(Sighs)

♪ ♪

(Monkey squeaking)

(Chittering)

(Sighs)

(Chitters)

(Chittering)

(Chittering)

Van?

Huh?

You all right, buddy?

Uh, I...

Hey. No, no. Wait. No, no, no. Sorry. Just...

(Grunting)

Open the trunk.

(Soft grunting)

Open it.

(Grunts softly)

Deonte Brown?

Off limits, understand?

(Grunting)

Understand?

(Muffled utterance)

(Siren whoops)

Oh.

(Garbled radio transmission)

(Gasps)

(Panting)

Do you have any idea how fast you were going, sir?

100?

No.

200?

Sir, you were going three miles an hour.

Three miles. Wow.

License, registration, proof of insurance.

(Panting)

What are you doing, sir?

Give me that.

I... Oh.

(Panting)

Special Agent Miller?

(Laughing): No. No, I... No.

Step out of the car, please.

(Sighs)

You seem a little under the weather.

I am having a terrible day.

(Grunts softly)

(Panting)

Look, I'm going to have to cite you for reckless driving.

Oh, God.

Sir, have you been drinking?

I had... a small amount of orange juice at my home, and one cup of coffee with two Equals and some cream.

I'm going to have to perform a few tests, sir.

You have an incredible voice.

A truly remarkable voice.

That's fine. Now, I'd like you to raise your right arm... and touch your finger to your nose.

(Knocking)

Abby, thank you for coming.

We're lost at sea.

I wish we could see more of you.

Here.

You know how things are.

It's charming.

That's a nice piece.

Yeah.

(Groans)

Home, sweet home.

(Dialing)

(Line ringing)

Ray: Hello?

Yeah. He's home.

Good. Thanks.

Dawg!

What's up, bro?

What you doing here?

You, get the f*ck out of here now.

Ass and mouth, dawg.

I protected myself.

Yeah? Where'd this come from?

(Cell phone ringtone plays)

Huh?

Can I get my...?

Oh.

Look at that.

How many kids do you have, Deonte?

Deonte Junior, Deonte the Second...

This was Deonte the Third.

What you doing, Ray?

Calling your wife back so she can jog your f*cking memory.

Whoa. No, no, don't do that.

(Line ringing)

That would be a bad idea.

Mrs. Brown: Where the f*ck have you been?

She sounds pissed.

Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

Deonte?

Deonte?

How much did you make last year?

I'm talking to you, Deonte.

Uh, $30 million?

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Deonte, this is some bullshit.

Where are you at?

I know. I know.

Never again, Ray.

You keep this sh*t up, you're gonna lose your sponsors.

You'll end up teaching the pick-and-roll to a bunch of f*cking fifth graders.

All right?

All right.

You better say something.

I'm not playing with you this time.

Hello?

Hel-lo!

Deonte!

(Door opens and closes)

Babe, hey.

Woman (over P.A.): Any available nurse to room...

Ray will be here any minute, sweetheart.

(Gasping)

(Panting)

Oh.

(Panting)

(Panting)

(Panting)

Oh, my friend.

My friend.

Okay. Okay.

(Man grunting)

(Gasps)

Wh...

(Grunts)

(Shouts)

(Groans)

(Motorcycle revving)

(Laughing, whooping)

(Motorcycle approaching)

(Laughs, shouts)

(a*t*matic g*nf*re, b*ll*ts ricocheting)

(Mickey and Bunchy speaking indistinctly)

Hey, what did I tell you? Huh?

Thanks for your help, guys.

Hey, you guys gonna come?

You can meet Terry's new girlfriend.

No, I-I don't think she can make it.

Abby: Yeah, I wish we could.

It's movie night.

Ah.

Hey.

What?

She drove all the way here.

Come on.

Yeah.

It's really... lovely, Abby. Thank you.

Yeah, I like what you did with the chairs and the flowers.

It's getting there.

It's good for tonight.

It's just... I might not be keeping the place.

Bunchy, you don't just return a house.

Hey, I got a bunch of stuff in the car. Couple of brown boxes.

You and Terry grab 'em, take 'em upstairs?

Movie night, huh?

Give me a f*cking break, Mick.

Ray finds out I'm here...

Hey. Look.

(Both chuckle)

(Sighs, sniffles)

(Footsteps approaching)

(Van panting)

(Door creaks open)

(Shoes squeak)

You're having a bad day, aren't you, pal?

What's with the toys, Van?

(Exhales, pants)

You got, like, a...

Hollywood fetish going on or something?

You want one of these guys to f*ck you or... b*at you up?

Maybe.

Okay.

I got something to show you.

Van: You have an incredible voice.

A truly remarkable voice.

Really struggled with that sobriety test, didn't you?

Steve: That's-that's fine.

Now... now, I'd like you to...

I know they're hard, but that's, uh...

Well, you were there.

All right, put your arm...

(Video stops)

So tell me, Van... why you talking to Mickey Donovan?

I'm not talking to him.

Okay.

Now you're just f*cking lying to me.

Uh...

(Grunts)

Look at me.

What are you after?

(Velcro opening)

(Grunts, panting)

You think you're the first person that tried to shut us down, you dumb f*ck?

Your pal Frank tried to do it eight years ago.

(Whimpers)

(Exhaling)

Ray: You see that?

That is gonna test positive for LSD for the next six years.

sh*t really stays in your system.

Who else knows about this?

No one else.

No?

I work alone.

I work alone. Ask Frank.

Ask Frank. Ask...

(Heavy breathing)

Look at me, Van.

Don't look there.

Look here, right here.

Look at me.

There is no case.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Hold my hands.

I told you everything.

Hold my hands, Van.

I told you everything, I told you...

(Grunting)

You're good.

Here you go.

Call me when you come down.
(Grunts)

Wow.

(Laughs)

Looks great, Abs.

Thanks.

New sheets?

And pillowcases.

And a new set of towels for your bathroom.

Very plush.

He mad I bought the house?

No, of course not.

He wants to come, Bunchy.

We all do.

f*cking Conor wouldn't shut up about it.

Really?

He's been texting me all day.

Like, "Please, please, please, please, please."

It's not movie night.

It's Mickey.

And I get punished?

I know. It's not fair.

He thinks it's Mickey's fault that I got molested.

You know he tried it on Terry?

The priest?

(Low sobbing)

Terry broke his f*cking hand.

Ray would've done it, too, if he tried anything.

Bunchy.

I was a fighter.

Why didn't I try to stop him?

I thought I wanted it to happen.

Because that's what monsters do.

(Laughs)

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, I don't know what got into me.

I'm gonna put this in here.

Extra?

Yeah.

Don't tickle me.

It tickles.

Mmm, I like that. Mmm.

You're not supposed to be here.

Oh, hey, what up, Money?

Money Man, C-Money.

What's going on?

We're studying.

You're not even in the same grade.

(Scoffs)

Dad's gonna kick your ass.

If he ever comes home.

Shut up.

If it weren't for you pushing it, we probably would've been able to go to Bunchy's party.

Yeah, well you're the one who brought it up.

Are you kidding me?

You're the one who got me drunk and made me puke all over Dad's watches.

Um, no, I didn't.

Yo!

There's a party.

And your folks ain't home.

What's the problem?

(Indistinct chatter)

I found him.

What do you think, Raymond?

That one's supposed to be smarter, but I don't know.

Something about this one's face reminds me of Ruth.

I've told your dad they're not for sale.

Sorry about that.

It's okay.

Come on. (Whistles)

Come on.

How did you find me?

Come on, Ezra, let's get in the car.

No. Sit with me.

Aren't you cold?

There was a pet store here.

I guess they closed it.

You're about to go in for brain surgery and you want to get a dog?

Do you think I want a dog?

I don't even like dogs.

I'm leaving Ruth a foundation, an entire hospital with her name on it, but I haven't given Debra a moment's thought.

Okay.

Let's go get a dog.

I know where you're taking me.

And I'm scared, Raymond.

It's gonna be okay, Ezra.

I promise.

(Door opens)

Mickey: Got the speaker wire.

Ended up having to go to Radio Shack.

Holy sh*t!

Looks pretty good, right?

Pretty good?

Bunchy, come on.

Hope you get her a gift.

Too bad no one's coming.

sh*t.

We're gonna need ice.

(Blows)

Where's one for me?

How many days you been off the sauce?

Three.

You want to f*ck that up?

I'm old enough to buy my own house...

I'm old enough to know when I want a drink.

Suit yourself.

Bottoms up.

(Fitnessglo's "Run Away with Me" playing)

(Laughing)

(Laughs)

♪ Give me that funk ♪
♪ Show your stuff ♪

(Sniffing)

♪ Give me that funk... ♪

Hey, Pop.

Looking good.

Hey, Bunchy.

You remember Cinderella?

Oh.

Huh?

How could I ever forget?

Real nice house, Bunchy.

Yeah. (Laughs)

Hey, Ter.

♪ You can't deny it ♪
♪ It creeps down into your soul... ♪

I thought you couldn't make it.

I got off early.

What's wrong?

I'm just happy you're here.

Well, good.

Don't forget it.

I want a drink, and I want to dance.

Woman: Mr. Goldman, can you please remove your glasses?

That tickles.

Excuse me.

Miss?

I'm sorry...

Sir, you promised if I let you stay in the room, you would be quiet.

I know. It's just...

Shouldn't they be giving him something?

No. He has to be able to talk during the procedure.

Don't worry, Raymond.

I won't tell them anything.

(Sighs)

(Music playing, indistinct chatter)

Party?

Holy sh*t.

My beauties are here.

Hey, Grandpa.

(Both laughing)

Hey, princess. Where'd you get the little chauffeur?

What? This is my car.

Well, you're still black, aren't you?

(Chuckles, sighs)

Hey. Dad doesn't know we're here.

Nobody does.

Oh, you're a f*cking maniac, you know that?

Then again, your father never listened to one word out of my mouth when he was your age.

(Laughs)

Ba-boom.

(Airy whistling)

Come on.

You made it.

Hey!

Look who it is!

Your mom said you weren't gonna make it, but...

I knew that you were coming.

So, this is all yours?

Hey, hey, you want to hear a funny joke?

Sure.

Okay.

It's about wrestling moves.

Bunchy.

Okay, so, first of all, you got to know that this is the Half Nelson, all right?

And this is the full...

No, wait.

(Laughs)

Start over, start over. Okay.

Wait. This is the Half Nelson, and, um...

f*ck. There's three moves, right?

Well, Pop, what is it?

What's the punch line?

Maybe it's better he forgot.

(Laughter)

Hey, what about this?

Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh! Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh?

Conor: Hey, hey, hey!

Settle down.

Settle down.

Pa?

Settle down, now.

Aah.

Ooh.

Aah.

Hey.

Come on.

Take it easy.

We're just having some fun, Pa.

Take it easy.

I love you.

(Laughter)

All right, mister, you come with me.

This house smells funny.

Yeah, I wonder what that is.

Bridg, dance with your boy.

I can't. I can't, Marvin.

Oh, my gosh.

He wants to dance, and I don't want to dance.

Then come over to the old persons part of the party.

Actually, I want to dance, and he won't dance. Oh.

(Laughs)

Bunchy: This is the Half Nelson, and this is the Full Nelson.

And this is the Father Nelson!

That's right.

What was his brother's name again?

Uh, Bunchy.

Yeah, Bunchy.

I love that name.

Well, you ready?

Mm-hmm.

Let's do this.

Okay.

Now, you must be thirsty.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah.

Here.

Really?

You're a Donovan.

(Coughing)

Take it easy.

(Laughter)

There you go.

Think it would fit in any of them?

Maybe if I just put in the first three inches.

(Laughs)

(Laughing): Oh. I'm just teasing.

Here.

(Phone ringing)

Ray Donovan.

Van: Ray Donovan.

Van Miller.

I have been thinking about our conversation.

Yeah?

Go f*ck yourself.

(Approaching footsteps)

Abby: Ray.

How you holding up?

Oh, God, Ray, Dr. Lo said it would be over by now.

He said at least an hour.

I got a bad feeling.

It's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Deb: I'm so...

(Funky music playing)

(Coughs)

(Giggles)

Ooh!

You know what I did when I bought my first house?

I christened it.

Ooh!

(Chuckles)

Where was Mom?

(Laughs)

It was with your Mom, you dumb f*ck!

Come on.

Go on.

Ooh.

Go on up. Go on up.

Ooh. Come on.

(Sighs)

Make it official.

Have fun.

(Chuckles)

(Coughing)

Oh... sl-sl-slow.

(Moans)

God bless you, Brendan.

No.

No, no!

What the f*ck?

I-I can't. I'm sorry.

You're a sorry-ass m*therf*cker is what you are!

No, you don't under...

(Door shuts)

(Sniffs)

(Sighs)

(Dance music plays)

Is that your girlfriend?

♪ Baby, don't you keep me hanging on... ♪

Yeah.

She is.

You gonna marry her?

Take it easy.

What about him?

Is that your boyfriend?

I think so.

Yeah.

I can tell he's smart.

Oh, my God, honestly, I think he's the smartest person I've ever met.

Mom called him "ghetto."

So offensive.

Yeah, well, what do you think your dad was when she met him?

Really?

Yeah.

He wasn't the suave individual he is today.

♪ Let me go... ♪

Marvin: Yeah, one, two, three.

You go...

One, two, three.

That's good.

I can't do that.

♪ Let me go ♪

(Muffled music playing)

(Sniffs)

(Flame crackling)

(Indistinct conversations)

♪ Talking 'bout the music ♪
♪ Talking 'bout the music ♪

Hey, Bunchy!

(Laughing)

Mickey: How you doing, Bunch? Huh?

How'd it go, Bunch?

Hey, kiddo, you all right?

Huh?

What did you do?

No, let it burn.

What did you do?

Jesus!

Oh, sh*t. There's a fire!

Man: Yeah, it's upstairs.

Come on. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on.

Woman: All right. All right.

(Indistinct chatter, music playing)

(Sobbing): Just get out, all of you!

Get out of f*cking my sh*thole!

(Phone ringing)

Hey, Terry, what's up?

Terry: Uh, Bunchy got real upset about something, and there's been a small fire.

What do you want me to do about it?

It's under control now, but...

Ray, look...

Conor and Bridget are here.

(Mickey exhales)

How you feeling? Better?

(Car door opens)

Get in the car.

Get in the car, Conor, now.

Terry: Ray...

Now!

Terry: Everybody's all right.

He didn't do nothing.

Hey, Ray Ray, take it easy.

If you're angry at me, fine.

He's just a little boy.

Where's your sister?

I don't know.

Look, I'm sorry I didn't go to more of your football games.

Terry: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Ray, Ray, Ray, it wasn't his fault.

It just got out of hand!

Mickey: Come on, Ray, put that down.

There's witnesses here.

Your children.

You might've had the balls to put me away, kid, but sh**t me?

I don't think so.

(Grunts)

Grandpa.

(Engine starts)

(Tires squeal)

Get in the car, honey.

You, too, Conor.

(g*n cocks)

Terry: Put the f*cking g*n down!

(Chuckles softly)

Daddy, please stop it!

Daddy...

Bridget (crying): Please... stop...

Come on.

Now.

Get in the f*cking car!

Stop!

Raymond!

(Sobbing)

I'll take them.

(Siren wails in distance)

Frances has got a car.

We'll get 'em home.

They'll be fine.

But you got to calm down.

(Sirens approaching)

And you got to get out of here.

(Sobbing)

(Exhales)

Hello, Raymond.

How you feeling?

Happy to be alive, darling.

What's on your mind, Raymond?

(Exhales)

I don't know.

I don't know anymore.

Raymond...

My father.

He's been causing us trouble since he arrived.

You'll handle it.

No, I won't.

It's over, Ezra.

He's working with the FBI.

(Sighs)

I see.

Well...

We're gonna have to k*ll him.

It's not that simple.

He's still my father.

Hmm.

(Exhales)

So...

Who hates him more than we do?

(TV audience applauding, music plays)

(Man and woman laughing)

♪ We've got laughs from coast to coast ♪
♪ To make you smile ♪
♪ A real-life look at each of you ♪
♪ To capture all that style ♪
♪ You're the red, white and blue ♪
♪ The funny things you do ♪

(Laughing loudly)

♪ America, America, this is you ♪
♪ Stories from your friends next door ♪
♪ They never told ♪

Look at this guy!

♪ You might be a star tonight ♪

He does it a second time!

♪ So let that camera roll ♪
♪ You're the red, white and blue... ♪
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