06x04 - Night Family

[bunniefuu]

- [DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

[SNORING LOUDLY]

[MUMBLING]

[SIGHS]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
- Aah! What are you doing?!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Dad? Dad? Hello?

What is wrong with you?

Really?

Oh.

Okay.

[ROOSTER CROWING]

Mornin', ass[BURPS]holes.

What's this? Pancakes? Sold.

What was up with you last night?

I was totally talking to you and
you acted like I wasn't there.

I did? Oh, yeah. No. That wasn't me.

Technically. That was my night person.

Been having him do crunches
while I sleep. Check it.

- Damn! Check out that washboard, yo!
- Hey. Too hard.

What the hell's a night person?

I nabbed a Somnambulator

while passing through the
Goobie-Joob System last week.

Best investment I've ever made.

Before going to bed, I type a
list of sh*t I want to get done.

Then the Somnambulator
programs my unconscious body,

or "night person," to
do it while I sleep.

I'm getting so much done.

C-Can my night person get me
an ab stack like yours, Rick?

I'm gonna have my night
person learn me Spanish

- so I can pass my test next week!
- Hey, hey, hey.

- No one gets a night person but me.
- Aw!

This tech is way too
advanced for you zeebs.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

- What?
- Nothing.

No. Go on. Say it.

Say what? I don't know
what you're talking about.

Okay! Fine! f*ck it!

Everybody gets a night person. Whatever.

Stick out your fingers.
It needs a blood sample.

Blood? Can't I just give it
Beth's credit card number?

This isn't Postmates, Jerry.

The Somnambulator needs your DNA profile

to send commands to your subconscious.

It can poke all the fingers
I got if I get abs like Rick.

Well, looks like I'm
learning the trumpet.

Okay. Remember, somebody
has to catch me if I faint.

Yay! Night family!

- Whoo!
- Oh.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- _
- [TRUMPET PLAYING "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE"]

♪ ♪

Hola, mamá. ¿Cómo lo llevas?

How's my honor student doing?

Muy bien.

All the niños and niñas at school

think I should run for class presidenta.

- 'Sup, ladies. Want to see somethin'?
- [ZIPPER OPENS]

Summer, you want to drop
this bowling ball on my abs?

- Hell, yeah. I'm only human.
- [GRUNTS]

Watch this.

[GRUNTS]

'Sup, ladies. You ready, Morty?
The stream's about to go live.

- Where are you two going?
- Morty and I started a podcast

we call "FAB-solutely AB-ulous."

It's... It's an ab-centric hour of fun.

Hoping to get Nancy Pelosi
on the show next week.

Want to drop her on our abs!

[LAUGHS] Yeah!

Guess who has a new pen pal!

No takers?

- It's me!
- Pen pal?

Night Jerry and I write
letters to each other.

- It's super fun.
- "I also like Tori Amos."

"Hope you like our new pajamas."

"What is the sun?"

Jerry, this isn't how you're supposed
to use a night person.

You two are being a couple
of Debbie Down-theres.

Wait until Night Jerry reads about this.

[SAD-TROMBONE MELODY PLAYS]

Who wants cake?

[ASCENDING NOTES PLAY]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

[WHIRRING]

♪ ♪

[TRUMPET PLAYING DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC]

[GROANING]

♪ ♪

[WATER RUNNING]

♪ ♪

- Abs are cool.
- Way cool.

But as above, so below.
Know what I'm sayin', Rick?

Morty, you must be referring
to these excellent boxer shorts

we got from the good
folks at Boxer Lobster.

Boxer Lobster Boxers feel like they're
warm butter on your schwantz.

And they come in all sorts of styles...

neon, plaid, orange.

I-I even got a pair
with that little, uh...

the raccoon man from that
one movie, uh, printed on it.

- Chewbacca.
- Do yourself a favor and level up

with Boxer Lobster Boxers.

You'll be glad you did.

Oh, sh*t, Rick,

they want you to say
"Wub-a-lubba-dub-dub" at the end.

Screw that. We're not whores.

Guys, dinner's getting cold.

You know what's not getting cold?

This hot stack of ab-jacks, son.

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! P-Pow!

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! P-Pow!

- No notes.
- Oh! One more thing.

Night Jerry said Night Summer
would appreciate it

if everybody could rinse off
their plates after eating.

- What?
- You know, rinse the schmutz off after eating.

Makes it easier to clean up later.

What?

Our job is not to make the
night people's chores easier.

It's a reasonable request,
Rick. Takes two seconds.

They exist only to do the
sh*t we don't want to do.

So until further notice,
which will be never...

... request denied. [SPITS]

[MACHINERY BEEPING, WHIRRING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

Hello there. [CLICKS TONGUE]

What the cock? Where are the dishes?

BETH: Uh, Dad? They're in here.

They busted up all our dishes!

What are we supposed to eat
off of now, brains-for-sh*t?

[GROWLS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

_

_

♪ ♪

- [GROWLS]
- You owe me.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

_

We'll eat off these...

"brains-for-sh*t."

Seems like you spent
an awful lot of energy

just to not give the Night
family what they want.

Jerry tell your boyfriend
to suck my d*ck

and good luck breaking
super alien dishes.

I'll let him know, but
he's not gonna like it.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

[SNIFFS] What?

[HISSING] Why won't
you rinse your dishes?

[HISSING] It takes two seconds.

[HISSING, WHISPERING]
If you don't, the schmutz dries

and makes the dish harder to clean.

Rinse your dishes!

- Rinse!
- Rinse!

- Rinse!
- Rinse!

Let me go! Who locked my implants?

NIGHT SUMMER: [HISSING]
I told you to after you fell asleep.

You see, night you is not in charge.

Night I... am.

Pft! I don't care. I ain't rinsing sh*t.

Hey! W-What are you doing?

If you refuse to clean your dishes...

- then I will have to do it for you.
- [GRUNTING]

Unh-unh! Unh-unh-unh! Unh-unh!

I have always been here, Rick,

deep inside the mind of your grandchild,

waiting to come out.

[FORK SCRAPING, RICK GRUNTING]

Your machine allowed
me to steal the night.

And soon... I will seize the day.

[GRUNTING] [GULPS]

[GRUNTING, COUGHS]

Oh! Baby Jesus!

[GRUNTS] Oh, it's awful!

Oh, Baby Jesus! Awful!

[GULPING]

What the f*ck is your problem with me?

What? What? I don't know
what you're talking about!

I just got force-fed diarrhea
by your night person,

who's also convinced night me
to lock me out of my tech.

MORTY: Uh, Rick? There's been a
pretty clear escalation down here.

The night family stripped
the house last night.

Everything's gone,
including the Somnambulator!

They locked us out of the garage.

Don't know about you,
but I got the hoo-ha's.

God damn it! Are you happy now, Summer?

I didn't do anything.

- I'm trapped in this bullshit, too.
- Yeah. Glad you think so.

Because I got a plan to
b*at Night Summer...

You're going undercover.

Did you have to make
mushy garbage science

- on the living-room carpet?
- Yeah. No choice, Jerry.

Night Summer had Night
Rick take away my tech.

Had to improvise.

There are different levels of cortisol

in your bloodstream when you're asleep,

so this interface only works
off my awake saliva samples...

Naghh.

There. No one asleep will be able
to deactivate the laser cage

- until I win.
- W-Where's Summer?

Never mind her. All of you...
[WHISTLES] Get to bed.

Ugh! It itches. This whole
thing is way uncomfortable.

Yeah, that's the idea.

The Sleep Deprivation Suit is designed

to keep you awake until morning.

Uh, aren't they going to be suspicious

seeing Night Summer covered
in all this Terry Gilliam?

They're not gonna question her.

She's the leader of the night
family for some stupid reason.

When the night family
activates, just blend in.

Make them think you're Night Summer.

If you start to nod off,
suck on this tube.

- What is it?
- A cocktail of Mountain Dew and DayQuil.

The kids in Southern
Europe call it DewQuil.

- Smells gross.
- It is.

Once you find the Somnambulator,
use this Deactivator Puck.

Stick it on the Somnambulator,
and when the puck activates,

it'll fry its circuits. [GULPS]

Remember... stay awake all night.

Meet me back here at sunrise.

[SIGHS]

[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[SLURPING]

♪ ♪

[MACHINERY BEEPING]

♪ ♪

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

- _
- [BEEPING]

♪ ♪

- [SLEEPILY] Why are you wearing that suit?
- [SLEEPILY] Mm.

- [SLEEPILY] Yes. Why?
- Yes.

[SLURPING]

Yeah.

Because you're all
such clothing experts.

- That's fair.
- Ouch.

- Fair enough.
- [SLEEPILY] Point taken.

[HISSING] Get back to work.

I rule the night... and stuff.

- Yes.
- Okay.

- Will do.
- As you wish.

[PUCK BEEPING RAPIDLY]

♪ ♪

- Grandpa Rick! Rick, wake up!
- Wha... I'm up! I'm up!

- D-Did you find it?
- For sure.

You were souping up
that Somnambu-whatever

so they could extend its
range beyond the house.

But I defeated that sh*t

when I put the thing
on top of the thing.

Everybody, wake up!

Summer fried the Somnambulator!

- The nightmare is over.
- Really? Oh!

- That's amazing!
- Almost got pinched, but yeah.

Say adiós to the night family.

Bye-bye, pen pal.

- I want Shoney's pancakes!
- Yes! Shoney's pancakes!

All right! Brunch is
on me, day family...

- Naghh.
- [WHIRRING]

You know, for a second there,
I thought Night Summer was gonna win.

That chick is the absolute worst.

Sorry, Rick, but your opinion
means very little to me.

[HISSING] Did you think you
could stop me with this, Rick?

Halt, daymanoids!

Everyone get behind my abs!

Do not move! Do not move!

You are most definitely surrounded.

You are the slaves now.

If you have any doubt...
I suggest you sleep on it.

- [GASPS] She's Night Summer!
- Thanks, Jerry.

_

Work! Work! The function of the
daymanoid is to serve the night!

Work harder! Harder!

It is natural for the day
to serve the night.

Night was here long before day.

Half of all time is nighttime.

- One hundred and fifty-seven.
- Ooh!

One hundred and fifty-eight.

- One hundred and...
- No more, please!

- I hate exercise!
- Silence!

Crunch harder! Harder!

We have to escape the
Somnambulator's reach.

Do we even know how far that is?

No. Cards on the table, we may be
really F'ed in the A this time.

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

Uh, report to your designated
sleep pod for rest period.

Ooh-ee.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

[MACHINERY WHIRRING, GAS HISSING]

_

♪ ♪

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[BREATHILY] I am a friend
of your son-in-law.

Come with me.

- How?
- Huh?

Hurry. We don't have long before
the proxy drones go back online.

Oh, thank you, Night Jerry.

Anything to help Day Jerry's family.

He's a very special per...

Oh! Hey! Ow! Why?

Nice. You got our Jerry back.

Uh, yeah. Totally why I did that.

- Everybody in Rick's car!
- No, no, no, no, Morty! Wait!

[DOG BARKING]

Having a bit a trouble
with your car, Sanchez?

- Not now, Gene!
- DRONE: Halt!

Daymanoids are restricted
from the outside world!

Halt! Halt!

Hold on to your tits.

[ENGINE REVS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

- Where am I going?
- To the airport!

We have to get as far away as
possible from the Somnambulator

- before we fall asleep.
- W-What about Summer?

W-We can't leave her behind!

She's not your sister anymore,
Morty. Consider her dead.

Eat sh*t, Summer! Sweetie,
you got to shake those robots.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

♪ ♪

I think we lost them!

[DRONES WHIRRING]

Son of a bitch!

♪ ♪

RICK: Damn it, we lost Morty!

♪ ♪

Aah! Beth! Watch out!

You cannot esca...

- [GRUNTS]
- [HORN BLARES, TIRES SCREECHING]

_

Huh?

- [SIREN WAILING]
- Stop or I'll sh**t everyone!

RICK: [GRUNTING]

♪ ♪

Ha!

[GRUNTS]

[HISSING] Take the wheel.

[HISSING] As you wish.

[g*nshots]

[GRUNTS] Let go of me, you little sh*t!

♪ ♪

[TIRES SCREECHING]

- JERRY: No! You're going the wrong way!
- Silence, day breather!

- Aah! Morty, you're choking me.
- I know!

- [GROWLS]
- Ow! What the heck, Dad?

[HORN BLARES, TIRES SCREECHING]

Help me stop your mom!

Look out, you useless old man.

What the... What the hell?

Give me that g*n and
take the wheel, stupid.

Jesus! Sorry!

♪ ♪

Aah! Oh!

♪ ♪

Ugh.

♪ ♪

Ow!

The night family's trying
to make us go back home!

You got to turn around!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Why even bother, Gene?

- _
- [TIRES SCREECHING]

Good job, Mom. Back on course.

Phew. Almost didn't make it.

Hit the sheets, daymanoids.

Aah!

Night person!

[HISSING, WHISPERING]
Hey! I'm on your side!

- I'm on your side!
- Oh, that's right.

- Sorry.
- Sorry. Rough day.

Daymanoids.

[SIREN WAILING]

Fla-hoigan!

♪ ♪

Come on. Jump.

Why? I'm already in a
perfectly functional car.

Uh... family?

Aww!

♪ ♪

[EXPLOSIONS ECHOING]

Everybody awake?

Ouch!

- We are now!
- Hey, what the hay?

_

Looks like we're gonna make it, kids.

Ow!

[HISSING] Nighty-night, slaves.

f*ck.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[GRUNTING]

Take that!

♪ ♪

Ugh!

[GRUNTS]

Take that!

- [HISSING] Hold him down.
- No! [GRUNTS]

[HISSING] Stop!

Rick, we're all the same people.

There must some agreement we can reach

to stop this god-awful conflict!

Oh? Like what?

I would consider a truce

if the daymanoids would
rinse their dishes.

- Fine by me.
- Yes. Rinse!

That seems fair.

We can end all of this right now

if you agree to rinse your dishes.

What do you say, Rick?

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

Let's go home. Right, Grandpa?

Great idea, Summer.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

MAN: So... until you pay that fee,

plus the multiple overdue charges,

your account will remain frozen.

[RASPILY] Normally, this
would have been dealt with

by our daymanoid oppressors,

but we recently freed ourselves
from the shackles of the night.

Honey, I got more
calls to make today.

[BREATHILY] The bank
repossessed the car.

[SLEEPILY] Aw, man.

I got logged out of my Twitter account

and don't know my password. sh*t.

We spent all the day people's
money on vacations,

renting concert halls,

and night-centric
streaming subscriptions.

We're broke.

I guess there's a lot more work
to seizing the day than I thought.

- [SIGHS]
- [GROANS]

[SLEEPILY] I have a device that
will solve all of our problems.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[g*nshots]

[WHIRRING SLOWS, STOPS]

[NORMAL VOICE] Whoa.
How long have we been asleep?

[NORMAL VOICE] Ah, can't be that long.

Oh, my God! No!

They k*lled the Choco Taco!

[ALL SCREAMING]