01x12 - A Return to Normalcy

[bunniefuu]

He loves me.

Margaret: Senator Harding?

But America needs him and so I have to sacrifice.

In three weeks Paddy Ryan is taking over as chief clerk of the fourth ward.

Jimmy here'll be Pat's man Friday.

What's your name, handsome?

Nelson.

( Moans )

You were 13 years old.

I was one of King Neptune's consorts.

Your father saw me and Nucky brought me to him.

I'm dying, boy. Where are you going?

I'm not quite sure what you're getting at, sweetie.

This morning I found this in his house hidden in the kitchen.

Half the team is indicted.

What do you propose?

Come here to Chicago. I want you to think hard about who in this town is willing to do you a favor.

There are four more brothers plus Luciano.

How are we supposed to get to them now?

Pack lightly. We'll meet here.

Where are the Dittrichs?

Snuck out yesterday, dead of night.

Fletcher gets elected.

You're telling me?

This is my life on the line!

I'm making a change.

Eli's out?

Deputy Halloran, the star is yours to wear, if you'll honor us so.

Sure I will.

I need men I can trust.

You can trust me, God damn it.

What do I have to do to convince you?

Look, what do you expect me...

I won't have another child.

That's not your right to decide.

What purpose did it serve to make me a widow?

I have not lost one second of sleep over what was done.

Neither have you.

Harrow: When I came back...

They had disappeared.

( Theme music playing )

"To Carthage then I came, where a cauldron of unholy loves sang all about mine ears."

Those are the words of Saint Augustine written 1500 years ago.

His road to the lord was an arduous one filled with many setbacks.

In Carthage, Carthage by the sea, he found a city devoted to appetite, to pleasure, to the temptations that keep us from our better selves.

And in that place he did succumb to what was offered.

( Bell ringing )

He did succumb.

Gentlemen, Atlantic City is the grandchild of that vanished metropolis.

Should you aspire to replace me here, and should supervisor Elliot accept you, you will be bribed, coerced and tempted on a daily basis.

( Chuckles )

Bring on the dancing girls.

( Laughter )

( Men exclaim )

My partner, Agent Eric Sebso, d*ed in the line of duty of a heart att*ck.

I will not have his memory sullied with infantile humor.

The supervisor will review your applications.

Nelson, I wish you'd reconsider.

There's nothing here for me, sir.

( Men laughing )

Man: Did you see this?

Buy them drinks, promise them jobs, do whatever you need to do to get your people to vote.

And once they do, send them over to my ward and have them vote again.

I still say replacing Eli was a mistake.

What "still"? You never said a word about it.

I want a big turnout Tuesday, men and women alike.

Hell, Nuck, you'll even get spooks.

The f*ck you just say?

What?

I got my clerk combing the obituaries. He's writing down names.

Yet another Atlantic City politician elected by dead people.

It's Halloween, Ed. Get in the spirit.

Talk about your absentee ballots.

I hope you're half as amusing during your concession speech.

( Liquid pouring )

We need to talk.

Hey, come on.

Neary: Let's go for a walk, guys.

Boyd: Let's go blow the stink off this place.

( Men laugh )

I've been approached by the other side.

Really?

Fletcher and them other democrats...

They paint a nice, pretty picture how it's gonna be if I throw my weight behind them come election day.

And savvy businessman Chalky White believes them.

Savvy businessman Chalky White tell them he believe them, then he pocket their money.

I take it that means you're sticking with me?

Some recognition for my loyalty would be nice.

You realize you put the bite on me every election?

Except this time you could actually lose.

What'd you have in mind?

Oh, 10 grand, a new car.

And an invitation to that victory party down at Babette's.

That last part's a tall order, Chalky.

So is delivering 100% of that colored vote.

"Upon that night, when fairies light beneath the moon's pale beams; there, up the cove, they stray and rove and haunt the Halloween."

Boo!

( Laughing )

More, mama.

That's all for now. I need to finish the cake.

You go and wash your hands, please.

And you help your sister.

The poem... Was that Frost?

Robert Burns.

My nana would read it each year on All Hallows Eve.

Will they recite it tonight in the churchyard?

That's more of a religious service to pray for the souls of the dead.

You catholics certainly have a flair for the dramatic.

That we do.

Warren loves poetry.

( Baby cooing )

Have you thought about where you'll go after Tuesday?

I hate to put you out, but I'm sure Warren will send for us as soon as he wins the election.

I'm considering margate.

I could get work in one of the shops.

Or perhaps I'll be rich.

We'll see what the brack says.

The cake... It's called barmbrack.

The Irish eat it on Halloween.

You bake a sixpence, a ring and a small piece of rag inside.

If you get the money, you'll be rich.

The ring of course means you'll be married.

And if you get the rag, well, you'll be destitute.

( Baby coos )

President Warren Harding.

You'll come visit, of course, to the White House.

And with the arsenic being introduced slowly through food, the victim is often unaware of being poisoned at all.

He'd been complaining about his stomach since Christmas.

It would have to have been going on for some time.

There were toxic levels in his stew, in his tea biscuits.

Even his toothpaste was tainted.

How do you explain this, Mrs. Pratt?

Must have fell in there somehow on accident.

Yet your food was uncontaminated.

She k*lled Jerry, for God's sake.

I ate one of those cookies, you know.

Who's Jerry?

His dog. He used to feed him his leftovers.

Treat that dog better than me.

Best goddamned friend I had, I can tell you that much.

You g*dd*mn ignorant bitch, after all I did for you.

Calm down, dear.

The hell I will.

She's a f*cking m*rder*r!

( Coughing )

Why did you do this?

Poison him?

'Cause if I used a shotgun, I'd have had to clean the mess up myself.

I had all I could take of his abuse.

Are you gonna arrest her or not, sheriff?

Nucky: No.

He's not.

What?

Come with me.

I certainly understand why you'd want to, but you can't go around poisoning people.

Commodore: The hell's going on?

Gillian: Just let him handle it, dear.

( Commodore coughing )

Gillian: Relax.

Take this and go far away.

Change your name and don't come back.

God bless you, sir.

Bless you.

Gillian: Simmer yourself down.

And you be careful.

It's okay.

Gillian: It's not worth giving yourself a fit.

You take this.

What the hell are you doing, Nucky?

Relax.

She's tried to k*ll me, God damn it.

( Thunder crashing )

I've booked passage for myself and Carolyn.

Should I be indicted personally... and my attorney assures me that's imminent...

He'll let you know how to get in touch.

Scotland in November?

I hear the golfing is terrific.

Sure, in June maybe.

Children: Trick or treat!

I'll tour the distilleries, take up the bagpipes perhaps.

There are any number of ways to occupy myself until this baseball business goes away.

If you're indicted, it don't sound like it will.

Ain't there anybody in Chicago whose palm you can grease?

It's the world series, Charlie.

I'm a pariah, haven't you heard?

So use a buffer.

There's Johnny Torrio.

He's new out there, doesn't have the political connections.

Nucky Thompson does.

And Torrio can connect you to him.

Thompson's not exactly a pal these days, is he?

This w*r we're in...

Charlie and I were talking...

There's no percentage in it.

I mean, I know I brung them in, but these greaseballs, these D'Alessio brothers... not your best suggestion.

You're a businessman, right?

Maybe you cut your losses.

I didn't realize I was paying you boys for advice.

Well, the advice is free.

You pay us 'cause we'll get our hands dirty.

( Door opens )

Hey.

What are you supposed to be, huh?

Hey, Tommy, I asked you a question.

Pirate.

Pirate?

Hey, why don't you go put your shoes on and get ready for that party?

( Faucet squeaks, water running )

You gonna be home for dinner tonight?

How long are you gonna keep on doing this?

Doing what?

The silences, the cold shoulder, the distrustful looks.

If I was a different sort of man, it would be worse than looks.

For God's sake, Jimmy, do you want us to leave?

What do you mean "us"?

He's my son too, Angela.

And what's wrong with him?

Nothing's wrong with him.

He's disrespectful.

He's terrified of you.

We both are.

What are you talking about?

You did it again last night.

You were screaming in your sleep.

What?

You grabbed me. You were shaking me, yelling something in German.

Your eyes were open, but you weren't there, Jimmy.

I'm afraid you're gonna hurt us.

I want to protect you and Tommy.

Sit down.

I didn't write you when I was away in France because I didn't think I was coming back.

There are things inside me that I brought home from the w*r.

But there were nights over there in the trenches, I'd be asleep, dream that I could feel you next to me, that I could touch your hair against my face.

You and Tommy, you're...

We both did things when we were apart for whatever reason.

Were you in love with her?

I was lonely, Jimmy.

I want to start fresh.

I want to go back to where we were.

Can you do that?

I think so.

Can you?

I'll try.

Man: And on this eve of All Hallows, we honor the saints and now pray for the souls of the dead.

O lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; and in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.

Do not bring your servant unto judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.

Do you pray much yourself?

For the children mostly...

Lord have mercy on us.

...For their health...

Christ...

...And the ones I lost, of course.

...Have mercy on us.

And I pray for forgiveness.

For what?

My own sins.

Priest: Holy Mary, mother of God...

Nan: There's such a peacefulness here, a special kind of quiet.

It's like walking through a wood on a crisp autumn...

Oh.

Priest: ... From the snares of the devil, from anger and hate...

So you have that in common.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

Mr. Thompson... in Chicago...

He told me he had a son who d*ed.

Nucky over one: It's not suspicion. It's prudence.

Come on, Nuck, how long we know each other?

I'd like to know what I'll be walking into, John.

A business meeting for which I'm asking you to keep an open mind.

I already bought the Brooklyn Bridge, if that's what you're selling.

Noon tomorrow. We'll pick a spot out by you.

Ow, God damn it.

The train. How you think?

( Doorbell rings )

Go see who that is.

What?

I'm on the overnight train.

The f*ck's going on over there?

Nothing. I'm late for a party.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

( Exhales )

( Knocks on door )

Yes?

Someone wishes to see you.

Leave it on. It suits you...

A dapper villain in a Sunday serial.

And you?

What's your get-up tonight...

The devoted, pleading wife, the temperance firebrand, the crusading suffragette?

You left out "kept woman."

But there wasn't any keeping you, was there?

When you met me I was pregnant.

And then I lost the baby.

You lost a child... a son, he was six days old... and your wife a month later.

It's a bit late for this game, wouldn't you say?

What game?

I tell you my sorrows.

You pretend to be sympathetic.

And we wind up in bed.

I can assure you that won't happen.

Why are you here?

To find out who Enoch Thompson is.

Seven years ago, almost eight, I'd just become treasurer.

I was new to the job, very busy.

My wife had just given birth.

We named him Enoch after me.

She wanted that.

He was tiny, frail.

I was terrified to hold him.

A week passed.

I had my hands full with some county business or another, an audit.

I was busy, very busy.

I came home one night.

It was late.

She was in the nursery, rocking him in her arms.

I crossed to them.

She looked so calm, so contented.

It gave me the courage to finally want to hold him.

I pulled back the blanket.

And I looked at his face.

And I could tell right away he'd been dead for days.

She'd been caring for him nearly a week... bathing him, changing his diapers, his bedclothes.

I took him from her and cradled him in my arms.

That was the only time I ever held him.

We buried him in the churchyard, but she couldn't accept it.

She'd completely broken with reality... melancholia.

I saw it.

I knew it.

But the doctor said time would heal her.

And I was very very busy.

A few weeks later she slashed her wrists with my razor.

The times with you and the children in the house, eating breakfast... just that...

I've never been happier or more terrified in my life.

And now you know more about me than any other person on earth.

And you thought I needed saving.

Didn't you?

Not the way you chose.

You'll leave Atlantic City?

Is that your demand?

It's just a question.

I think it might be for the best.

Let me...

No.

Thank you.

There's a kindness in you.

I know it.

How can you do what you do?

We all have to decide for ourselves how much sin we can live with.

Mr. Thompson.

Mrs. Schroeder.

I'm pleased to have finally made your acquaintance.

( Door opens and closes )

( Clock ticking )

Would you care for a biscuit?

The molasses hurts my filling.

I was offered a permanent assignment in Atlantic City.

I discovered a large still near where Sebso expired.

We had originally gone to the area looking for it.

Your supervisor must have been pleased.

He was.

I was offered a raise in pay as well as two additional agents under my command.

That's wonderful.

I turned him down.

My Uncle Byron...

I never told you this, but a year ago last Easter he made me a proposition... full partner in his feed business.

In Schenectady.

You enjoyed our visit there... the winter with the snowshoes.

Of course I'd have to buy in, but it's a going concern.

You're being awfully quiet.

I like being the wife of a federal agent.

Is that what's important... your vanity, what your friends think down at the Greengrocer's?

Of course not.

I'm unhappy, Rose, unfulfilled, increasingly so these last few months.

And now with Agent's Sebso's death...

You're doing God's work there, Nelson.

Then if God wants me to stay in Atlantic City, let him give me a sign.

( Distant hoofbeats )

( Seagulls cawing )

What the hell is this?

Thanks for coming.

How're you doing, kid?

Mr. Torrio.

I don't like being sandbagged.

Come on, eh? Costs nothing to listen.

Then start talking.

The last time we was all together, there was another man as well...

Big Jim Colosimo.

May he rest in peace.

He was a good man... Jim. Don't get me wrong. But he didn't look ahead.

He didn't look from behind neither, from what Frankie Yale told me.

Grow up, eh?

With the stupid jokes.

My point is, to survive in a business like ours, you gotta look to the future.

And to do that, sometimes you gotta let go of the past.

It was Arnold reached out, asked that we meet.

The son of a bitch tried to have me k*lled.

I'm interested, Mr. Thompson, in putting an end to our hostilities.

I would think you would be, considering the way things are going.

We could wage w*r for years.

It benefits no one. And the fact is I have enough problems already.

Yes, I've seen the newspapers.

Then you know I'm about to be indicted for fixing the World Series.

So pay someone off.

There's the rub.

Though I'm quite well known in Chicago, I'm decidedly not well liked there.

It sounds to me like you're asking for a favor.

I'm asking to make a deal.

I need a man with your political reach to quash the indictment.

That could be arranged.

What?

We're talking.

In exchange for what?

One million in cash.

A million dollars.

And the location of the remaining D'Alessio brothers.

Or you could take your chances in Chicago with my good friend Hartley Replogle.

The state's attorney.

So you've seen the papers also.

This w*r ends here.

Any bad blood, past transgressions of whatever nature, business or personal, are hereby nullified.

I'll have the cash delivered to you in the morning.

Charlie here has the other information you want.

Good luck, Mr. Thompson.

And I do hope we haven't seen the last of each other.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a train to Chicago.

( Muttering )

Get my brother on the phone, then call an emergency press conference today at city hall.

What time?

3:00 P.M. sharp.

I want every newspaper in the county there.

Nucky: Gentlemen of the fourth estate, tragic though it is, I need hardly remind you that the passage of the 18th amendment has given rise to a new breed of criminal... vicious thugs emboldened by the promise of an easy dollar.

What the f*ck are you doing?

Halloween's over.

Nucky: Last January, in the woods only a few miles from where I speak to you today, a horrible m*ssacre occurred.

Five men, bootleggers all, were cut down in cold blood by a rival g*ng.

The suspected ringleader of the K*llers... Hans Schroeder... was found dead days later, his body washed up in a fishing net on one of our piers.

Due to the tireless work of my brother, former sheriff Eli Thompson, we have since learned that Schroeder's conspirators in this cowardly att*ck were a group of K*llers late of Philadelphia, well-known to law enforcement as the D'Alessio brothers.

I am happy to report they are being sought for questioning as I speak.

Motivated by political gain, the democrats have argued that the incumbent administration has been rife with corruption, soft on crime.

On this election eve, I submit to you this: While this heinous crime did certainly occur on the republican watch, the apprehension of those responsible did certainly occur on the redid as well.

Vote for Edward Bader tomorrow and keep our city safe.

I thank you all and God bless America.

( Reporters clamoring )

Man: Mr. Thompson, how about a picture with your brother?

Reporters: Mr. Thompson. Mr. Thompson.

No more pictures. Let's go.

Come on, go go go go.

( "Stars and Stripes Forever" playing )

How are you today? Nice to see you.

Women: Mr. Thompson, Mr. Thompson.

All right, a good day to vote, isn't it? Yes sir.

Hey, how are you? Hello, how are you?

Nice to see you. Congratulations, ladies.

A good day.

Thank you.

Nice to see you.

Thank you, Mr. Thompson.

All right, thanks for coming out. Nice to see you.

How are you? Hello there.

Man: Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you. Thanks for coming out.

Hey, Mr. Thompson.

How are you today? Hi, Francis.

How's your mother?

Much better, Nucky.

Hello, Bill. How are you?

Woman: Good day, Mr. Thompson.

Woman 2: Hi, Mr. Thompson.

Man: Hey there, Nuck.

How are you? Nice to see you today.

Hey, squirt, who you voting for?

Hey, good luck to you, Nucky.

How are you?

Attaboy, Nuck.

Hi.

Some turnout, eh?

Say, Nuck, who you voting for?

Ed Bader and the straight republican ticket.

And I suggest you all do the same.

( Cheering )

♪ When I see your pretty smile ♪
♪ makes the living worth the while... ♪

Ange?

♪ So I've got to run around ♪
♪ telling people what I've found... ♪

Hey buddy.

Where's your mother?

I don't know.

I'm right here. I was in the bedroom.

♪ They didn't believe me ♪
♪ they didn't believe me... ♪

Your father called. He asked to see you.

♪ Your lips, your eyes, your cheeks, your hair ♪
♪ are in a class beyond compare ♪
♪ you're the loveliest girl ♪
♪ that one could see ♪
♪ and when I tell them ♪
♪ and I'm certainly going to tell them ♪
♪ that I'm the man ♪
♪ whose wife one day you'll be ♪
♪ they'll never believe me ♪
♪ they'll never believe me. ♪

( All chattering )

That uniform looks like it fits you.

( Phone rings )

Fleming: Uh-huh, how much?

Third ward results are in.

We're up by over 20%.

( Cheering )

Easy, kid, eh?

What, are you down a quart?

O'Neill: We're gonna have a great year.

It's great times here.

Neary: Champagne. Here you go.

It just came over the wire...

The state's attorney in Chicago announced that Arnold Rothstein will not be indicted.

Anything on the Mayor's race?

Well, the polls will be closing shortly.

Okay.

Almost home, little brother.

Just like that, eh?

You wave your scepter and everything's all forgiven?

Your cut of the Rothstein money isn't enough?

Should I send flowers too?

You f*cked me over, brother. You forget?

And I told you I'll make it right.

You do this stuff...

You say things.

Maybe you're so used to spouting bullshit, you don't realize it, but your words actually do affect people.

What's that... Dale Carnegie?

I'm f*cking serious, Nucky. There are consequences to what you say, to what you do that you can't buy yourself out of with money.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

( Phone ringing )

You have to trust me, Eli.

What does that mean?

( Men laughing )

That blood is thicker than water.

Yeah?

Well, why'd it have to be my blood?

Neary: Happy days, boys, happy days.

Edgar Caldwell from campaign headquarters.

Let me take this.

Neary: Really?

( Men laughing )

Hello.

Frank Hague. What, did they run you out of Jersey City?

Who let the democrat in?

You don't gotta be Irish to march in the St. Patty's day parade, do you?

No, but it helps. Come on.

( All laugh )

Good to see you.

Gentlemen, fellow Republicans, may I have your attention, please?

I have just been informed that as of three minutes ago, Atlantic City has a new Mayor...

Mr. Edward Bader.

( Cheering )

Congratulations.

Thank you one and all for your kind applause and your generous support.

Now being a man of action, I feel I should get right down to business.

Sheriff Halloran.

At your service, Mr. Mayor.

Sheriff Halloran, after your long and meritorious service to Atlantic City, I regretfully accept your resignation.

Is this a joke?

Relax, kid. It's what Nucky wants.

And now, as my second official act as Mayor, it is my pleasure to reappoint my good friend Eli Thompson as sheriff of Atlantic County.

Hear hear.

( Men cheering )

Welcome back, Eli.

Well, looks like there's a new sheriff in town.

Jimmy.

You're looking well.

Good old Paddy Ryan, chief clerk of the fourth ward.

How you been?

I'm aces, Paddy.

How's life in politics?

Swell.

Nuck's taking good care of me.

He must have pimped out your mother as well.

I beg your pardon?

Your mother... He must have pimped your mother out as well.

The f*ck is wrong with you?

What?

Nothing.

You're my hero.

What are you talking about?

The way you work, Nuck, you're like a machine... clean, fast, totally devoid of any emotion.

Halloran wasn't working out.

Halloran? You'll use anyone, Nuck... man, woman, 13-year-old girl.

She was an orphan, James, living in a home for wayward children.

The commodore took good care of her.

I'll bet he did. And then you took care of me.

Well, I did, didn't I?

Did you ever want for anything, need anything? You ever miss a meal?

So the learning at your feet, getting me into Princeton...

That was all guilt, huh?

Guilt, duty.

You're a grown man now. What difference does it make?

I thought you loved me.

I'm not your father, James.

You're right.

I'm going to go take it up with him.

Why don't you do yourself a favor?

Go home to your wife and sober up.

Why don't you do me a favor, Nuck?

Stop acting like you give a sh*t.

Oh, come on now, everyone eat your cake.

We still haven't found the surprises.

Anything in there?

No.

( Gasps )

The ring.

It means I'll be married, right?

May it bring you better luck than it did me.

The first lady of the United States.

What will you do, nan, if he doesn't send for you?

Well, of course he will. He said.

I didn't get a prize.

Well there's still more cake left, dear.

The rag.

What does that mean, mama?

Nothing, dear.

It's just a silly superstition.

Sir.

Hmm?

There's some woman out front. She's looking for you.

Send her in.

I went to your grooming house.

The landlady told me you worked here.

What do you want?

You a postman, Nelson?

No, I'm a prohibition agent.

Hmm.

Well, you made me pregnant.

( Hooting )

( Coughing )

Come on now. Warm milk.

Put a little brandy in it, will you?

We're trying to rebuild your stomach lining.

Well, cook me a steak.

So we're a happy family all of a sudden?

You don't have to be so fretful all the time.

I'll make you some eggs.

Jimmy, give me some of that.

You realize this is the first time we've ever had a drink together?

Don't tell your mother.

The woman tries to k*ll me and Nucky lets her go.

He's got an odd sense of justice.

Talk to me about justice?

f*cking Woodrow Wilson, when was governor... g*dd*mn southern son of a bitch comes here to try to make a name for himself so he can run for president.

He's the reason you went to jail.

No, he's the reason I got convicted.

Nucky's the reason I went to jail.

What do you mean?

Well, he was sheriff at the time.

We got caught up in some election-rigging case.

They couldn't get us both, so this f*cking Wilson makes a deal with the prosecutor...

One of us takes the fall; Wilson gets the headline; the rest of the case goes away.

Why you and not Nucky?

I was hurt politically and Nucky was the fair-haired boy.

The plan was for me to go away.

He'd take over and then square things up when I got out.

Did he?

He squared things up all right.

Five years in jail and I was just a distant memory.

And there he is with a diamond stick pin and a Rolls-f*cking-Royce...

Nucky Thompson, the spawn of a drunken piney.

I used to hate coming here when I was a kid.

My mother would bring me here to see you.

I know.

I was afraid of all the animals.

I was afraid of you.

Nucky told me, "it's your duty.

Gotta be strong for your mother."

Manipulative son of a bitch.

He can be.

Jimmy, you think I don't know why he brought you back from Chicago?

To do what he doesn't have the stomach for.

And you said yes.

What for? A few percent off top?

I made a good deal.

Oh God, he made you think you did.

He made me think I did.

That's the way he operates.

You know him well.

He was like a son to me.

But you're my flesh and blood, boy.

So?

So you're gonna take back Atlantic City for the both of us.

And how is that supposed to work?

Look around, son.

I didn't get all this by being stupid.

( Footsteps )

Sir.

You told him what we discussed?

I was just about to.

( Crowd laughing )

Eddie Cantor: So, you see, if I were president, I'd run the country like a Broadway show.

I'd pick my cabinet and try them out right here in Atlantic City.

Oh yes, the best audiences.

And if they clicked here, I'd let them open in New York and a few other cities.

We'd do one-night stands for four years and by then they'd have to reelect me so I could actually do something at the White House.

( Laughing )

( "Ostrich Walk" playing )

Mr. Thompson. Mr. Thompson.

Howdy do?

Baxter, it's nice to see you.

I see you've met Annabelle.

George was telling me all about the cutlery business.

Oh yeah, I'll Kn*fe you and spoon you and fork you as well.

How about a dance?

Margaret.

Hello.

What a pleasant surprise.

Heard the news about Mayor Bader.

Congratulations.

Well, I certainly owe a debt of gratitude to you.

Then you could offer me a drink.

Is champagne okay?

Good news just isn't the same without it.

How are the children?

They miss their Uncle Nucky.

Quiet, everyone! Quiet. Quiet.

Radio announcer: Illinois, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Florida, Michigan, North Carolina and Rhode Island.

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, this is Frank Conrad with the official results of the election transmitting live over the wireless from Pittsburgh.

Woman: Pittsburgh! Can you believe it?

Pipe down, lady.

With 48 states reporting, it's Warren Harding with nearly 60% of the popular vote.

( Crowd murmuring )

Yes yes, and this just in: Challenger James M. Cox has moments ago conceded to a capacity crowd at Dayton fairgrounds.

Ladies and gentlemen, Warren Gamaliel Harding has been elected the 29th President of the United States!

( Cheering )

( Fanfare )

What a momentous evening this has been for the senator from Ohio, his decisive victory a credit to both himself and to the entire republican party.

Babette: Quiet. Quiet.

And now this, from Mr. Harding's acceptance speech.

I read to you directly from the ticker.

"My countrymen, America's present need is not heroics but healing, not revolution but restoration, not agitation but adjustment, not surgery but serenity, not the dramatic but the dispassionate.

The world calls for peace.

We need not nostrums but a return to normalcy."

( Playing song intro )

♪ Did you ever sit and ponder ♪
♪ sit and wonder, sit and think ♪
♪ why we're here and what this life ♪
♪ is all about? ♪

♪ it's a problem that has driven ♪
♪ many brainy men to drink ♪
♪ it's the weirdest thing ♪
♪ they've tried to figure out ♪
♪ about a thousand different theories ♪
♪ all the scientists can show ♪
♪ but never yet have proved a reason why ♪
♪ with all we've thought and all we're taught ♪
♪ why all we seem to know ♪
♪ is we're born, we live a while ♪
♪ and then we die ♪
♪ life's a very funny proposition after all ♪
♪ imagination, jealousy ♪
♪ hypocrisy and all ♪
♪ three meals a day ♪
♪ a whole lot to say ♪
♪ when you haven't got the coin ♪
♪ you're always in the way ♪
♪ everybody's fightin♪
♪ as we wend our way along ♪
♪ every fellow claims ♪
♪ the other fellow's in the wrong ♪
♪ hurried and worried until we're buried ♪
♪ and there's no curtain call ♪
♪ life's a very funny proposition ♪
♪ after all ♪
♪ when all things are coming easy ♪
♪ and when luck is with a man ♪
♪ why, then life to him ♪
♪ is sunshine everywhere ♪
♪ then the fates blow rather breezy ♪
♪ and quite upset a plan ♪
♪ then he'll y that life's a burden ♪
♪ hard to bear ♪
♪ though today may be a day of smiles ♪

♪ and what bringsill me joy ♪
♪ may bring you care and woe ♪

♪ we're born to die but don't know why ♪
♪ or what it's all about ♪
♪ and the more we try to learn ♪
♪ the less we know ♪
♪ life's a very funny proposition ♪
♪ you can bet ♪
♪ and no one's ever solved the problem ♪
♪ properly as yet ♪
♪ young for a day ♪
♪ then old and grey ♪
♪ like the rose that buds and blooms ♪
♪ and fades and falls away ♪
♪ losing health to gain our wealth ♪
♪ as through this dream we tour ♪
♪ everything's a guess ♪
♪ and nothing's absolutely sure ♪
♪ battles exciting and fates we're fighting ♪
♪ until the curtains fall ♪
♪ life's a very funny proposition ♪
♪ after all. ♪

( Song ends )

( Applause )

Eddie Cantor: Thank you, Babette. Thank you, Nucky.

Thank you, Nucky.

Thank you.

( Seagulls cawing )

( Music playing )