02x02 - Liar, Liar, Slutty Dress on Fire

До сега в Луцифер ... Кой е избягал от ада?

Мама Татко беше ядосан и ме изхвърли от вкъщи.

И какво направи майка ти?

Тя просто стоеше там и го остави да се случи.

Няколко хиляди години по-късно, татко изхвърли и нея също.

So I did the same for her as she did for me: zilch.

So, Mama Morningstar's on the loose.

I never could break that woman.

She wouldn't submit.

What are you doing here?

I've been demoted.

Been reassigned to assist on cases.

You lied to me about being a doctor.

Do you realize the ethical position you've put me in?

Lucifer: If she's not coming to kill me, then I don't know what she's doing.

That's truly terrifying.



Help me.

♪ ♪


Are you okay?

He just collapsed.

Does anyone know CPR?

No, I don't know.

Hello? Are you okay?

Call 911!

Uh, heart attack maybe?

I think he might be dead.


Woman: Sir? Sir?


Sir, are you okay?

Lucifer? Where are you?

Sir, are you okay?

Has anyone seen Lucifer?

(horn blaring)

(people screaming)

♪ I never gave up so easily... ♪


♪ When you put your black magic over me ♪
♪ You did whatever you could ♪
♪ Nobody likes it when you're good... ♪



I need to find Lucifer.

Man. Thought I killed your ass.

♪ Well, I'll be so innocent, innocent. ♪



(phone ringing, echoing in distance)

(ringing continues)

Girl (over phone): Hey, Mom?








And that's when I started looking for you, son.

At least I've managed to keep this flesh sack in one piece.

It has not been easy.

Quite a few of the male species have been eying me hungrily.

Do humans eat their own?

Well, say something.

Aren't you glad to see me?

I apologize for my human form, but... at least this one has supreme hindquarters.

You're lying.

No. They're quite sturdy. Feel it.

I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.

I simply don't believe your wounded bird story.

You're the goddess of all creation.

Not anymore, unfortunately.

Now I'm just trapped in this stinky human with the exceptional ass.

I swear, all I've done for three days is wander this cesspool, asking these vacuous cretins how to find you.

What are you doing?

Calling Amenadiel.


Wonderful. He's here, too?

Yes. And he'll be the one taking you back to Hell, so...



Because you're dangerous and terrifying.

I promise you I'm not here to hurt anyone.


You have to believe me.

My entire focus has been on finding you, son.

So you can eviscerate me? Got it.

No. We've wasted enough time being... estranged.

I'd do anything to rectify that now.

Sure you don't mean "revenge that"?

Lucifer, your father put me in Hell.

Not you. I know that.


But I was your warden.

Not by choice.

We were both wronged.

But you could have at least visited me.

(laughs): Oh, I'm sorry.

When Dad cast me out, who stood by and did nothing?

Hint: it's a palindrome for "mum."

Well, maybe if you had talked to me in Hell instead of sending your little demon torturer, I could've explained the whole thing.

You're right, you're right.

But I'm here now, so by all means, explain.


You wouldn't believe me.

I know how suspicious and untrusting you are.

You don't know anything about me.


I'm your mother.

Not for a very, very long time.

Well, I want to be now.

Then I'm going to need you to prove your little origin story to me.

We'll retrace your steps.

If I don't find a trail of bloodshed and carnage, then perhaps I'll believe you.

Fine. We'll begin where I found the tiny spear in my neck.



Gonna need to get you some clean clothes.

Humans tend to frown at the sight of blood.


I've noticed.

♪ He set me on ♪
♪ Fire ♪
♪ He set me on ♪
♪ Fire ♪

(door opens)

♪ He set me on fire... ♪

(door closes)

Uh, just leave it, would you?

Gosh, perhaps we shouldn't have borrowed from Maze.

Her clothing is insufficient.

Yes. Half my hide is exposed.

Human attire is very impractical.

They're morons, aren't they?

Oh. So you admit you revile them?

To revile them would be to care about them, which I do not.

Then all those rumors about why Dad sent you to Hell... the plagues, the floods... they weren't you?


Yeah. That's what I thought.

I was angry.

But humans weren't the reason your father and I were fighting.

At least, not then.

Uh, Mum?


I think you left out a minor detail.

Oh, dear.

Liar, liar, slutty dress on fire, Mother.

Whoever destroyed my human suit must have killed this little imp as well, it's obvious.

Lucifer, honey, why would I bring you here just to disprove my story?

I don't know.

But that's exactly what I'm going to find out.

(knocking on door)

Man: Management.

Don't... Wait! Wait.


Because there is a dead man lying on the bed.

Humans don't like that sort of thing.

Fine. Then let's fly out the window.


I don't have wings anymore, Mum.


It's a long story.

Come on. This way.


Yeah, this way.

What happened to your wings, son?

I cut them off.

Why would you...? I mean, come to Earth, get a haircut or something, but that's a little extreme.

Hey, bud.

Can I tag in next?

Excuse me?

With the lady.

How much?

This one you could kill. Come on.

I'm joking!

I'm joking, Mother.


You're gonna have to lose those clothes.

They're a serious problem.

Taking you home, 'cause this being out in public thing obviously isn't working.

And then I'm gonna see my colleague...



You're naked!

Well, you said the clothes were a problem, so problem solved.

Get in the bloody car, will you?!

God. Traumatized for eternity now, so thank you very much for that.

(engine starts)

♪ Ask me 'bout the things we did ♪

(tires screeching)

♪ It's complicated ♪
♪ When we get naked ♪
♪ But I can take it... ♪

(elevator bell dings)


Ah, good, you're still here.

I have a job for you.

On my way out, Lucifer. No more jobs.

Yes, yes, I know. You don't work for me anymore.

Very clear. But I have a feeling you're gonna love this one.

Just think of it as a parting gift.

Come on.

(clears throat)

Hello, Mazikeen.

Is that her?


In a human body?


Well, unfortunately.

For you.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, Maze, but hands off.


You're kidding.

Millennia, Lucifer... with no physical form. (chuckles)

But now...

...look at all that flesh.

Lucifer: Yes, but sorry, dear. No torture.

Just don't let her out of your sight.

Until I've worked out whether she's lying or not, she can't be trusted.

You want me to babysit?

Well, "my mum in the body of a disturbingly hot woman"-sit, but yes, for now.

(clicks tongue) Mmm.

I was just trying to give Tammy Twinkletoes a makeover.

Honey, you... you popped out her eye.


That was an accident.

Lucifer (over intercom): Well, I think she looks rather fetching.


Hello, Detective. Sir Douche. Offspring.

Chloe: You know, I bet you're actually behind this, aren't you? Sadly, no.

Can't take the credit, but I do approve.

Can we get to work now, please?

I'm just wondering if there's any fresh homicides popped up.


Ooh, you know, when you make that face, you look a bit like the doll.


(Lucifer humming dance beat)


Ah, look.

You can disco a bad guy into confessing.

This isn't a game; this is parenting.

And it's important.

She mutilated Tammy Twinkletoes.

And I'm sure there's a real mutilation out there to solve as we speak.

Something that screams "crazed witchy woman on a rampage" perhaps?

What? Not that I know of.

Okay, I'm gonna go back in there.


Just a doll.

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

It's not just a doll, it's manipulation.


Trixie's best friend Landa got a new All-American doll, and now Trixie wants one.

So what does she do? She destroys her old doll, expecting me to replace it.

Mm, impressive.

But, then, I'd expect nothing less from the shrewd little minx.

Why don't you comply, then we can get on, yes?

No. And I'd appreciate it if you don't undermine my authority.

But you're being a bad mother.

Abandon the child in its time of need, and it won't trust you in the future.

Is that what you want, Detective?




Got it.

New case. Hotel Gleam.

Ah, finally! Fantastic news.

He's practically a kid.

Yeah, 19 or so.

Chloe: How long has he been here?

Ella: I don't know, maybe a few days.

Guess the maid really took the "do not disturb" sign seriously.

Cause of death: single puncture wound to the neck.

I'm thinking ice pick.

Or a screwdriver, perhaps.

Five-inch, head?


Yeah. Maybe.

You're good.

I know. Detective, interesting pool of blood through here.

I'm assuming it belongs to Cinderella here.

Cinderella? Sure we don't mean evil stepmother?


Are we really still on the whole "my mother did it" thing?

I thought she was responsible for our last murder.

What, you're just throwing homicides at her until one sticks?

No, I'm simply saying that the missing woman may well be our killer.

A murderous psycho whose rampage started by impaling that poor lad.

Okay, my guess is that this is an affair gone wrong.

Jealous husband follows his cheating wife here.

He kills the young lover, he wounds her, and then he drags her home or she escapes.

Definitely the latter.

(sighs) Well, we would know more if she had left more than a shoe.

We don't have a purse.

No wallet, no keys.

Would the woman's phone help?

Well, yes, of course, but we don't have...

A phone! (gasps)


Good eye, Luce!


I'll get this back to the lab.

See if I can restore it.

Yeah, fast as you can, Ella, we have to proceed as if this missing woman is still alive, okay?


I don't want to find another body.

Trust me, you will not find another body.

I found a body.

She's a maid at the hotel.

Explains why she didn't find our dead guy.

'Cause, you know, she was dead.

Anyway, okay.

No open wounds, so she's definitely not our Cinderella who bled all over the place.

You see the bruising and the semi-circular marks on her neck?


Lucifer: Aha.

Long fingernails, which means the killer's female.

Not necessarily. I mean, the marks aren't deep.

It could just be a dude who's not serious man-groomer.

Come on.

It's so obvious, your Cinder-hellion had just plunged a screwdriver into the poor lad, when she was interrupted by the chambermaid, who she then snuffed out with her bare hands.

Chloe: Chambermaid?

Who's the killer, Mrs. Peacock in the library with the candlestick?

I love that game.

Dan: I really don't think it's the missing woman, Lucifer.

It's a little unusual for a woman to strangle someone.

But look at the size of the bruising, clearly not man hands.

I've seen some guys with some pretty tiny lady hands.

Dan doesn't count.

Come on.

Chloe: Okay, regardless, the maid's death wasn't planned.

I still think we're looking at a third party... someone attacking the couple when the maid entered.

The killer then dragged the maid into the bedroom, where they struggled until he finally managed to strangle her.

Which gave our Cinderella time to get the hell out of there.

I couldn't agree less.

And she needs to go straight to Hell as soon as possible.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a call.

Oh, did we get anything on that cell phone?

Oh, right! Uh, totally forgot.

No, no.

Could not recover anything from the SIM card.

Water and phones, bad news.

I dropped mine in the toilet once... that sucked.

Damn. So much for that.

Had to reach in, I didn't have my gloves.

Uh, no.

No, 'cause I did get a serial number off of it, so I know who bought it, at least.

Richards and Wheeler.

High-end law firm in Beverly Hills.


Next time, if you want, you know, you can just lead with that information.

If you want.

Okay, boss, where do you want me?

I'm not your boss, I'm just, you know, kind of...

My boss.

It's okay, Chloe.

I've accepted my demotion like a big boy.

And besides, it's kind of hot when you give me orders.


Old habits.

Chloe: Why don't you start with missing persons, see if there are any new leads on our Cinderella.

Lucifer and I will go to the law firm.






Oh. Uh, are you praying or...?

Yes. Usually works.

He must've gone for a wank or something.

(sighs) Come on, Amenadiel, where are you?


Is this thing on?

I keep waiting for God to talk back to me, too.

But you know what, don't get discouraged, okay?

He is listening, it's just a one-way intercom kind of deal.

(slaps back)

Lucifer: Come on, brother, where are you?


Surprised to see you're still coming in.

I mean, after all, this is a... a real facility for real therapists with real patients.

Unfortunately, I can't talk right now, Linda.

I've got some research to do.

Oh, sure, I bet.

Learning more about psychiatry?

Or is it time to switch it up? Be a lawyer maybe.


I understand.

You're upset that I told you I was a therapist.

Maybe you are one, 'cause your intuition's uncanny.

Linda, listen. I did what I had to do, all right?

Now, you wouldn't understand this, but I was dealing with matters of great importance.

I didn't have a choice.

Yes, you did.

You used me.

You didn't have to do that.

I'm used to my patients lying to me, not my colleagues.

Not my friends.

I confided in you, trusted you.

And you betrayed that trust.

It is difficult to explain, but things have been very trying for me.


Maybe if you didn't think so much about yourself and more about how you treat others, things wouldn't be so trying.

It's called karma.

Might want to research that.

All right, the most effective way to do this is with a discreet and systematic approach.


We can start with the partners and then...

Lucifer: Attention, lawyers! Hello!

Hello. Attention, please.

Uh, now, does anyone recognize this critical piece of evidence found at a gruesome crime scene?

Yeah. See?

That's our corporate-issue phone.

We all have one.

That could be anybody's.


What about this Louboutin power pump with the ombré finish in a size, uh... seven?

Six, U.K.


Man: Oh, my God.

Th-That's Charlotte's shoe.

Is she okay?

Prince Charming, I presume.

Richards. Charlotte Richards.

She's the owner of this firm.

When she didn't come into the office, I just... assumed she was out of town on a case.

Was this man involved in any of those cases, by chance?

Oh, my God, is he...?

Dead as a doornail.

Yes. Or in this case, a door screw, 'cause the hole in his neck's from a screwdriver.

And I happen to think that Charlotte may well have done...

Could provide us with more... information on his death.

Well, I-I don't recognize him.

Wait, does that mean you think Charlotte is alive?

Define "alive."

When was the last time you saw her?


I did this!

Oh, Charlotte, I'm so sorry!

All right, Bradley, listen up, 'cause I've got personal trust issues at stake here.

Brad, look at me.

Did you want Charlotte gone?

No. No.

That's the last thing I wanted.

Right. Then what do you desire?

T-To be with Charlotte.

We were in love.

Chloe: Mr. Wheeler, um, would Charlotte maybe have, um... also... slept with the guy in the photo?


We were completely monogamous.

She wouldn't even sleep with her own husband.

She was married already?

Yeah, but she hated that guy.

♪ ♪
♪ Nice to meet ya ♪
♪ I got to go ♪
♪ Now you see me ♪
♪ And now you don't... ♪

Sorry about the mess.

Lucifer: I'm sorry about those shoes.

Excuse me?

Mr. Richards, when was the last time your wife was home?

Oh, God, uh...

Three days ago, maybe.

You didn't file a missing person's report?

She's always traveling. Doesn't always tell me when.

Did she tell you she was bonking her associate Bradley?

(whispers): Lucifer.

Did she?

I knew.

What could I do?

Well, one option would be to stab her in the neck with a screwdriver.

Do you recognize this man?

Oh, God.

Uh... h-he came by the house with a package for Charlotte, uh, last week.

Pretty sure it was, like, a work thing.

Well, it depends what kind of package, doesn't it?

Uh, I-is Charlotte all right?

Can you account for the last three days?


I've been up to my ears in puke.

My kids are home sick.

Uh, I haven't left the house since Monday.

And not showered since, I see.

Are your children home?

I'd like to confirm with them.

Yeah, sure. Uh, just down the hall, and, uh, uh...

When exactly did you surrender your manhood?

Excuse me?

I mean, I'm all for stay-at-home dads, and believe me, I personally commend you for not abandoning your children, but that's still no reason to give up.

Oh, I-I... I haven't given up. I'm...

Mr. Richards, you have an entire slice of salami stuck to your shirt.

Oh, God.

(sighs) Come on.

Where's your closet? Up here?


Oh, goody. They come in more colors.

There's only one body part rubber should be worn on.


Not that you'd know.

You've clearly castrated yourself.

But don't worry. I'm here to help.

Hawaiian print?

The eighth deadly sin. Out.

Dave Matthews tribute tank.

Now I'm doubting your sanity.

What have we got? Ah! Here we go.

This is more promising.

Not worn since the...?


That's what I thought, right.

Let's have a look.

Come on.

Come on!

Is that, uh...


(laughs): Oh, and the good stuff, as well.

Ah, Detective, welcome to the party.

Woman: Ready in a minute.

You know, feeding a whole ball team isn't too big a job when you have macaroni and cheese dinner handy.

Okay, boys, come and get it!

Mazikeen, what is this strange gooey substance that this boy is cooing about?

Maze (in distance): You watching p0rn?


What is this?

It's like money.

Humans use it to buy things they can't afford.

(sighs) Wish I'd found this before I ate out of those street bins.


Humans are silly animals, aren't they?

Weak. Fragile.

That's what I'm counting on.

Now... where were we?


(computer trilling)


That's a lot of coke.

Think the attorney's husband was dealing?

I don't think he's the entrepreneurial type.

Thinking maybe the lawyer was.

Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it would explain why she ended up bleeding in that hotel room.

Well, maybe the kid was her street dealer or something.

Yeah, maybe. Anyhow, Ella got a big fat print off the plastic.

I'm running it through AFIS now.

What's with the box?

Delivery for you.



Dan, I thought we talked about this.

A united front, especially now.

Hey, don't look at me.

Oh, she's here! Lovely.

Did the mini kitchen come, too?

Lucifer, you shouldn't have gotten her the doll.

It's fine. You can say it's from you.

(computer beeping)

Lucifer: Oh. Hello.

Dan: Luis Mendoza.

He's a known associate of drug kingpin Victor Perez.

He's a scary dude.

Chloe: Smart though, to partner up with a high-powered defense attorney.

Which would explain why he's eluded the FBI for years.

I have a friend in the Bureau.

I'll call him, I'll see what I can find out.

Thank you.


Oh, look, she comes with an adorable little chocolate cake.

Your child's favorite.

I will deal with you later.

You're welcome.


(clears throat)

Eeny meeny miney...

(knives scraping)

You are wasting your time, Mazikeen.

You couldn't break me in Hell.

What makes you think you could do it here?

Maybe I couldn't hurt you because you weren't human.

Well, now you are.

No, it's because I wasn't guilty of anything.

Hell gives the damned what they deserve.

I didn't deserve to be punished.

And you know it.


I think it's because I just didn't find your weak spot.

Everyone has one.

Human bodies have several.


This body only heals once, and Lucifer told you not to harm me.

You may have him confused right now, but he's smart.

He'll come around, see you for who you really are.

A mother who loves her son.

Loving mothers don't abandon their sons.

I threaten your relationship with him, don't I?


Nice try.


Even though you say you're on your way out, you're still here doing his bidding.

You need him.

And if I stay, then he won't need you.

Trust me, you won't stay.

Lucifer made a deal with your ex to take you back to Hell, and he doesn't break deals.

Don't think he'd start with God.

He made a deal?


Is that a weak spot?

Are those... tears?



You're a bad mother.

Really? I think you might be projecting a little bit.

(chuckles): Oh, really? How's that?

Well, you keep trying to pin murders on your own mother.

I'm guessing you and her don't have the best relationship.


At least I get to keep the cute little chocolate cake.

Oh, come on.

Talked to Agent Colburn.

Charlotte wasn't working for the cartel.

She was working to bring it down.

So was that poor kid.

His name's Marco Sanchez. Got in over his head with the cartel, was trying to make it right.

So he was working with Charlotte and the FBI as an informant?

Trying to build a case against Perez, yeah.

That's why he and Charlotte were meeting at the hotel in secret.

But look at this.

Perez's hit man is Jimmy the Carpenter.

Want to take a guess at his M.O.?



So the woman isn't a ball of homicidal fury.

Chloe: No. Perez is.

Or his hit man anyway.

Lucifer: Right.

Well, shall we arrest the Perez chap, then?

The FBI has been trying to do that for years.

He's Teflon. He launders everything through his tanning salon franchise.

Yeah, we can't risk derailing the FBI's case.

We have to go through the court, and we have to get a warrant.

I'll see if I can rush one.

Perez could have Charlotte now.

Ah, I doubt it.

Well, if not, he's after her.

I don't doubt that.

Yeah, why don't you stay here and get the warrant.

I think I've left the cooker on.

(elevator bell dings)

Ah, lovely. You got one on the go.

Right. New information, Maze.

Seems Mum might not be a lying sack of savagery after all, but it also seems that she's the target of a vicious cartel hit man.

So you mustn't let her leave the penthouse until this whole mess is resolved. Right-o?

Your mom's gone.


Well, how did that happen, Maze?

She tricked me, then head-butted me, then left.



Oh, well.

Suppose the worst that could happen is that she's brutally murdered.

If so, she'll just find a new body and run right back like a good mum, yeah?

Or not.

I may have let the whole deal with God thing slip.

So I think she might be running away.

So if she goes into a new body, we'll never find her.

Okay. Then we'll just have to find her before that happens.

I mean, how far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?

Well, let's see.

She's stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she's got a corporate credit card.


Hello, chaps. Just looking for the head of a big drug cartel.

Is he home? Vicky?



Oh. Sorry, love. Vicky!

(man shouts)



Ah. Hello.

Mr. Perez, I need you to know that I'm not here to talk to you about your criminal drug enterprise.

I'm here about Charlotte Richards.

Are you, by chance, holding Charlotte prisoner?


Right. I'll take that as a no.

Here's my point.


You may think that she's dead, but she's not, which is fine, because you also think that she's still Charlotte, which she's also not.

Is that clear?


I simply need you to promise to stay away from Charlotte Richards. Deal?

Oh. Oh, look at that.

Snowstorm in a tanning salon. How ironic.

Oh. Detective.

I think Vicky here is ready for a little bit of show-and-tell.

Emphasis on the show.


♪ ♪

Victor (chuckles): Wait a second.

You think I had him killed 'cause he's a narc?

Why would I do that?

I was using him.

Fed him bogus information on purpose.

Had the FBI chasing after their own knobs.

Kid was an asset.

Be stupid to hurt him.

Well, you forgot to tell your buddy Jimmy the plan.

Screwdriver to the neck.

The Carpenter? He's dead.

Did I throw a wrench in your works?

Get it? Screwdriver? Wrench?

It's a whole theme.


Ah. How's my little drug kingpin panini?

Not our guy.

We have to find someone connected to Marco and Charlotte that didn't know Jimmy the Carpenter's dead.

Well, Jimmy's dead? Tragic.

So assuming the whole cartel knows that, it rules them out and points us to the only way that Charlotte and Marco are connected: the law firm.

Two shakedowns in one day. I'm in.

No more shakedowns, no more tanning booth shenanigans.

You and I have been working together long enough for you to know how to follow protocol.

I'm sorry, Detective, but Charlotte's in danger.

We need to find her.

How did she go from big bad wolf to little lost lamb?

Well, maybe she's a wolf in sheep's clothing, but right now she needs to return to the flock.

Yeah, I worked on that case.

I work on every case that comes through here.

Okay, but the Perez case was sensitive.

You were the only one here besides Charlotte who knew about it.

Which means you're also the only one here who was aware of Jimmy the Carpenter's methodology.

Wait. You don't think that I...

Got handy with a screwdriver and tried to pin it on the Perez cartel?

Yes. (chuckles) That's insane.

Chloe: What's insane is a guy with a Harvard law degree still working as an associate.

Lucifer: Yes. Passed up for partner by old Tom Cruise out there.

Guess you should've been slipping the boss your top gun.

If you're suggesting that I killed an innocent kid and my boss... my mentor of 12 years... all out of professional jealousy, you're crazy.

Hold on.

I don't believe that we mentioned two murders.

I mean, we showed you the crime scene photo of Marco, but not Charlotte.


Well, given the information that you presented... the phone, the shoe... I just assumed that she was...

Dead? No.

Just missing. And if we find her alive, it's gonna be very interesting to hear what she has to say about you, her loyal protégé.

This line of questioning is now over.

Why don't you go speak to my attorney.

He's two doors down.

Why would you divulge privileged information to a guy who's now clearly our lead suspect?

Sorry. I'll get that protocol thing down one day.

♪ ♪
♪ Where's the justice ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ I've got a fever ♪
♪ And it's criminal. ♪

Why aren't you dead?

What? Who are you?

Don't give me that, Charlotte.

By the way, thanks for using the credit card we opened for the Perez case.

Did you forget I'm the only one that has access to it?

That I'm the only one who did anything for you at that hellhole?

Hellhole? Are you a demon, too?


Because I'm a little upset?

Wouldn't you be, too, if you got passed up by Wheeler with the big wiener?

Oh, I know who you are now. You're the one who killed me.

Well, apparently not. But I am now.



Can't kill my mum.




If you're gonna follow me following him, we should have just drove together.

Right, you get him, Detective!

I'll stay here and protect the poor lady!

Protect me? From what?


What'd you do that for?

Well, the detective knows you're alive now, so you're gonna have to sell the whole Charlotte charade.

Need to explain that blood pool somehow.

Oh, you little...


Yes. But about that... we've never met until now, don't know each other.

I fear it's too much for the detective to handle.

Well, it looks like she can handle quite a bit.



(handcuffs clicking)

(indistinct police radio chatter)


Well, it seems that wound was re-aggravated in all the hubbub.

Poor woman.

You want to tell me what the hell you were doing?

Well, leading the mouse to the cheese, of course.

I mean, I was gonna be the cat, but then you showed up, so I suppose that makes you the dog.

What am I gonna do with you?

Well, I can think of a few things.

Might need a stretch first though.

You need to follow the rules.

You tell me not to ravage suspects in front of you.

Now I can't do it behind your back either?

I mean, make your mind up, Detective.

No more buying my daughter $200 dolls.

Well, why not? You weren't going to.

I was teaching her a lesson.

Neglect 101. You're abandoning her in her time of need, Detective.

I don't know what happened between you and your mother.

And if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you.

But listen to me.

Doing what's best for your child... it doesn't always make 'em happy.

(door opens)

I hate to interrupt so late, but, uh...

I just wanted to apologize.


Yeah, you were right, Linda.

You see, I really do have a lot to atone for.

I've... made so many mistakes lately.

But a big one was hurting you.

I may have forged a friendship with you under false pretenses, yes.

But I did consider you a friend.

And I'm deeply sorry that I ruined that.

If anyone understands mistakes, it's a therapist.

Not that you'd know.



Apology accepted.

Thank you.


Good night.

(door closes)


♪ Oh, no more apologies ♪
♪ Need be exchange ♪
♪ Oh, no words could ever help ♪
♪ Relieve this pain ♪
♪ Easier to live with pain ♪
♪ Than have to let it go ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh... ♪



(elevator bell dings)

(clears throat)

What on earth is that?

Cheesy noodles.

It's what mothers make to bring their children joy.

I saw it on the flat-screen.

(chuckles softly)

That explains all the cheese.


I wish, with all my being, that things could go back to the way things were.

With you... and all my children again in Heaven.

I want what your father took from me.

I want my home back.

But I know that's not possible.

So I want to do what I can to be a good mother to you here, on Earth.

It's too late.

You abandoned me, Mum.

You just stood by and watched as I was cast out.

Thrown into Hell and vilified for all eternity.

There aren't enough cheesy noodles in the universe to fix all that, I'm afraid.


(thunder rumbling softly)

Your father never sent you to Hell.

I did.

Oh, great. Much better.

I did it to save your life.

After the rebellion, your father was angry.

Deeply angry.

He wanted to destroy you.

I begged him not to.

I asked him to send you to Hell instead.

I did it because I love you, son.

And I always will.

However... if you still need me to return me to Hell, I understand.

You do what is right for you.


That's very gracious of you, Mother.


Okay, but please don't send me back to Hell.

(both chuckle)

But I meant the rest.

I know you did.

All right.

All right, you can stay.

For now.

Just until I... figure out what I need to do.

Thank you, son.


(laughs softly)

♪ ♪
♪ So I'm gonna live my life like it's my last damn night ♪
♪ 'Cause when the clock strikes 12:00 ♪
♪ We're all gonna go to hell. ♪