03x26 - Once Upon A Time (Bonus Episode)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lucifer". Aired: January 2016 to present.*

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"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
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03x26 - Once Upon A Time (Bonus Episode)

Post by bunniefuu »

CHLOE: Police!

Stop!

[BYSTANDERS SHOUTING]

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

[RAPID g*nf*re]

MALE VOICE: Once upon a time,

there was a world,

just like ours, but with one small change

that changed everything.

No!

Why the hell did you do that?

Why'd you go after him?

Damn it, Bonnie.

You should've let him get away.

[WEAKLY]: Not on my watch.

[CHOKES, COUGHS]

DIRECTOR: Cut!

WOMAN: Here you go, Chloe.

DIRECTOR: Where's that stunt guy?

Get him over here.

- Can I get a coffee?

- Damn it.

Damn it.

We didn't get it, did we?

Here.

You okay?

Yeah, I just choked on the stupid blood capsule.

- Hey, nice work.

- Thanks.

Did all the squibs go off?

Yeah, it was sick.

You k*lled it.

This sequence is gonna be amazing.

You know, you're gonna win one of those stunt awards for this.

Well, especially after you get the car chase.

Not sure about that.

What, are you worried about me?

All I got to do is get up to the top, do that burnout, and then Debi's gonna take over.

N-No, it's-it's not you.

I'm just kind of... not going to be here for it.

Wait, what?

Why?

I can't really talk about it here, but trust me, it's a good thing.

Actually, me and some friends are going out to celebrate tonight.

Why don't you come?

I'll fill you in on everything.

CHLOE: Well, I...you may be off the hook, but I got to drive this $ million James Dean Porsche tomorrow.

Come on. One drink.

[SIGHS]

LUCIFER: ♪ For what is a man? ♪

♪ What has he got? ♪

♪ If not himself, then he has naught ♪

♪ To say the things he truly feels ♪

♪ And not the words of one who kneels ♪

♪ The record shows ♪

[CHUCKLES] ♪ I took the blows ♪

♪ And did it ♪

♪ My ♪

♪ Way. ♪

["FOX ON THE RUN" BY SWEET PLAYING]

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

♪ I don't want to know your name ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't look the same ♪

♪ The way you did before... ♪

MALE VOICE: Amazing what changing

one tiny detail can do.

MALE VOICE: A butterfly flaps its wings

and good friends are strangers.

Hey, Stryder.

♪ Take a run and hide ♪

♪ Yourself away ♪

♪ Foxy on the run... ♪

Charlotte Richards.

Ah, to what do I owe this pleasure?

Oh, just making sure you're not getting into trouble.

Oh, that's no fun.

Well, true, but it is my job as your attorney.

[SIGHS]

And I also brought some paperwork for the Vegas Lux expansion.

Oh, well, that is exciting.

- Yes.

- [CHUCKLES]

Shall we, um, go up to the penthouse?

MALE VOICE: The butterfly effect also works

on people who might have d*ed

and been inhabited by, say, your mom,

who now isn't.

[BOTH MOANING]

Mmm...

Ooh.

We haven't had sex before, have we?

[GIGGLES]

No, trust me, you would remember.

Oh, I'm sure I would.

LUCIFER: Sorry, sorry... but I'm not sure I can do this.

[LAUGHS]

Well, that's a first.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing like that. That's impossible, frankly.
No... I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I'm not in the mood.

Still a first.

LUCIFER: No, no, no. Don't get me wrong, Charlotte, you are stunning.

Well, I know that.

Come on. What's wrong?

I don't know. Maybe I've been in Los Angeles too long.

Perhaps I need to find someplace new.

- Someplace like Las Vegas?

- Exactly.

Well, then, why don't we sign these commencement papers?

Once you do that and get me a down payment, they will break ground on Lux Las Vegas.

You'll be packing in no time.

Hmm, well, I am feeling better already.

Is cash acceptable?

[CHUCKLES]

Sin City, here we come.

You seem... frustrated.

Yeah.

CHLOE: And I should be happy, you know? I... I should be excited. I-I'm sh**ting Weaponizer 5 and everything's going pretty great. We have this huge car chase coming up, and I feel...[EXHALES] I feel bored.

It is the fifth time you've played this role. It'd be normal if you didn't feel a bit... disenchanted.

Yeah, you're right, you know?

Maybe I should try and play a different role, but there's not a lot of things out there for me, you know?

- And I am good at playing a cop.

- You are.

- Mm.

- You know, maybe it's just a matter of approaching it with different eyes.

You've always said that you wanted to be a positive role model for young women. And you are.
Girls all over the world see you on-screen, fighting crime, and they're inspired.
Don't forget that.

You're right. Thank you.

God, it feels like we're back in session.

[LAUGHING]: I know.

And it's amazing how well they replicated your old office.

Yeah, it's weird.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, well, don't forget, you know, that you inspired me, too, Chloe.

If it weren't for you,

Doctor Linda


never would have happened.

- Right?

- Yeah.

And if it weren't for you, I'd be crazy and out of work.

But... uh, yeah, I'm fine, I'm good.

I think it's just about finding something that's challenging.

MALE VOICE: People accuse me of being controlling.

[YAWNING]

And yes, I may have put Chloe in Lucifer's path.

But what if I didn't? Would they still get together?

Excuse me.

Hey, buddy.

[SCOFFS]

You know the expression, "I don't care where you go, but you can't drool all over my banquette." Hmm?

Come on, rise and shine.

Ugh, bloody hell.

MALE VOICE: Normally it would be impossible

to get an answer to that question, but I can.

Just one of the benefits of being God.

GOD: It's amazing the effect a family can have

on a man's moral compass.

Yo, Nick, what do we got?

GOD: Or in Dan Espinoza's case, the lack of a family.

Vic's a Hollywood stunt guy.

Stryder Novac, .

Stabbed once to the chest.

Found this on the body.

Figured it didn't have anything to do with who k*lled him, right?

DANIEL: Hide it. You see all these eyes on us? Are we smart or are we dumb?

- We're smart.

- We're smart.

That's right.

Okay.

Did you find the m*rder w*apon?

Not yet.

Who found the body?

LUCIFER: Well, if it isn't Detective Dildo of the LAPD. You still out there leaving crimes unsolved?

DANIEL: Come on, man, Delilah's case was open-and-shut, if that's what you mean.

LUCIFER: Agree to disagree.

DANIEL: Just like this appears to be a pretty cut-and-dried bar fight.

LUCIFER: Ah, yes, of course, going for the easy answer. But I know in my gut that's not the case here.

- Really?

LUCIFER:[/b Absolutely. And I need to prove it.

And why's that?

LUCIFER: Because just this morning, my Vegas expansion deal was frozen - due to this unfortunate m*rder.

- I get it. You got to pin it on somebody else so that your brand stays clean.

LUCIFER:[/b I don't pin things on anyone. I just want to find the truth so the right person is punished for their sins, and since I know your corrupt little organization won't solve it...

Morningstar, this is police business. You better stay out of it, or I swear to God, you're gonna be sorry.

LUCIFER:[/b Must we bring my Father into this?

Though, actually, I suppose you two blowhards might hit it off.

GOD: My son and I...

Well, let's just say,

I don't think I could change anything

that would make our relationship less...

complicated.

But, then, fathers can have a dramatic impact

on their children's lives, can't they?

Take Chloe Decker.

Her dad d*ed years ago of a g*nsh*t wound.

That loss changed her,

inspired her to follow in his footsteps and become a cop.

So what was that one small thing I changed

that changed everything?

All I did was move a b*llet a few inches to the right,

- and...

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Knock, knock.

Come in.

Oh, hey, Monkey!

How's my superstar doing?

- Hey, Dad.

- Aw, yeah.

So, tell me how the big death scene went yesterday.

- Oh...

- Oh, before I forget, your mother said to tell you to tell them that...

Oh, to favor my good side.

Yeah.

Yeah, I got it.

No, Dad, I'm a-actually here about a friend.

Okay, Chlo, if this is about some drug charge for your co-star, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

No, no, nothing like that.

Actually, a-a friend of mine was k*lled last night.

The stuntman?

Oh, you knew him.

Oh, Monkey, I'm so sorry.

- I-I had no idea.

- It's okay.

Thanks.

Dad, do you have any clue what happened?

Well, it's early, but it looks like a bar fight.

No, he wasn't looking for a fight.

He was out celebrating.

Well, how do you know?

- Well, I was with him.

- You were?

Yeah, a bunch of us.

He just got his dream job, driving for NASCAR, and I just don't think he would do anything to screw that up.

Okay, but, look, i-it's very hard to know everything about somebody.

And the detective on the case is pretty solid on his theory.

Okay, so maybe I could talk to the detective.

Look, I'll pass on what you told me, but that's as close as you're gonna get to an active m*rder investigation.

- Let me just ask him a few...

- No arguments.

Now, this is a lot more dangerous in real life than it is in the movies, honey.

[SOFTLY]: Okay.

♪ ♪ [KNOCKING]

Hello?

- [SHOTGUN COCKS]

- ELLA: We're closed!

It's just your friendly neighborhood Devil.

[GROANS]

[UNLOCKING]

Well...

hello, my little chola.

[CHUCKLES]

What'd you do, did you grind the gears again?

[SIGHS]

Such an unfit parent for such a sweet little baby.

I should have stolen her from you when I had the chance.

My car is perfectly fine.

I'm here about something else.

Something... delicate.

[SIGHS]: Well...

I've always thought of you as someone with a pump-action, Ms. Lopez.

Oh, you mean my little mijo?

It's not loaded.

Sound is all you need to scare the hell out of someone.

- Right.

- Well, anyone other than you.

So, why are you here?

What do you want?

Well, you know tools, and I believe that I have seen one of these in your workshop before.

What is it?

It's a T-handled Torx driver.

Right.

Of course it is.

Although the end of this one looks like it's been sharpened.

Maybe to poke a hole in something?

Well, I know that much.

It was used in my club last night to poke a hole in a now-dead young man.

It was used in a m*rder?

What are you, freakin' loco?

Why'd you let me get my prints on it?

Just tell me where it came from.

Oh, what, are you a detective now?

[CHUCKLES]

Listen, my little greasy monkey, why don't you tell me what you know about this stabby thing, and I won't tell any actual detectives about your little enterprise here?

Like I said...

it's a Torx driver, okay?

Nine-inch, alloy steel...

This one looks like it came from some sort of pro racer tool kit, you know, like NASCAR.

Well, how can you tell that?

Number stamped on it is the number of the racer's car, and the red tape wrapped around the handle...

Crews color-code stuff they need for specific jobs.

They don't have time to search for crap.

Oh?

Clever.

Something else was stamped on it, too.

But it looks like it's been sanded off.

I might be able to dig it out.

Oh, wonderful.

You work on that, and I'll go visit the nearest racetrack.

Uh...

[ELECTRIC DRILL WHIRS]

Yes, of course.

You humans...

[CHUCKLES]

you love your money.

ELLA: We sure do. Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Morningstar.

♪ I met a girl they call the speedqueen ♪

♪ She like to keep the engine clean ♪

♪ You can't deny her anything ♪

♪ Long live the speedqueen... ♪

Sorry.

Authorized personnel only.

Oh, I just have a few questions regarding a m*rder.

Gotcha.

- Put this on.

- Huh?

Follow me.

LAPD's over here.

What, Detective Dildo b*at me to it?

[SCOFFS]

This lady's no dildo.

- Oh.

- This guy wants to see you.

Well, hello...

Detective.

Detective Bonnie Gennaro.

How can I help you?

You're investigating the m*rder of Stryder Novac?

- That's right.

- Well, this case seems to be in very capable hands.

So off I go.

All right.

I mean, after all, you did take down the head of the Yakuza in single-hand combat.

And defeat the Armenian mob in a rather spectacular car chase through Rome...

Although, strangely, it looked a lot more like Vancouver to me.

I get it...

You know who I am.

Yes.

And if any crime were to occur in a hot tub, well...

[CHUCKLES]

Please, please, don't mention that project.

I'm a big fan of your work, Ms. Decker.

- Thank you.

- I don't understand...

why are you here?

Is this research for a role, or...

We're not on camera now, are we?

Where are they?

Well...

if you must know, I worked with Stryder.

Oh.

He was a really great guy, and...

I don't think that he d*ed in a simple bar fight.

- Really?

- He was gonna drive for NASCAR for the first time today...

More importantly, he was gonna replace Rex Wilson in his car.

I've heard of Wilson...

he was quite a famous driver years ago.

Yeah.

He was huge.

But then this young guy comes to take his place.

Point is, thanks to Stryder's death, Rex is still driving today.

Well, thank you for the information.

Now I know who to throttle.

I'll take it from here.

Oh, you will, will you?

Who are you, anyhow?

Oh, I do apologize.

Where are my manners?

Lucifer Morningstar.

Oh, right.

The owner of Lux.

- Mm.

- Well, I'd love to leave this in the no-doubt capable hands of a boozy, half-in-the-bag club owner...

Oh.

I have got this.

Really?

I think you'll find all you've got, Ms.

Decker, is a badge which reads "Property of Warner Bros." I've not only played a cop in five movies...

...I come from a family of them.

And I can assure you, I can handle this way better than you can.

Oh.

You can't even get into the pits.

GUARD: Detective Gennaro?

Oh.

Right this way.

- CHLOE: Thank you so much.

- GUARD: My pleasure.

Game on.

♪ ♪ Naughty, naughty, Detective Espinoza.

Just making sure the bills are real.

Only way to really tell is to spend it, right?

That's right.

Aren't you tired of skimming money?

Of arresting criminals who, if they have enough money, to hire someone like me, they always get away with it?

I know I'm tired of always solving their problems.

DANIEL: Where are you going with this?

CHARLOTTE: What if I told you there was a safe with hundreds of thousands of dollars just sitting in it, and I know the combination?

And why do you need my help?

Well, the safe is in the penthouse of Lux, and the club is currently a crime scene, which means I need access.

Morningstar's place?

Why didn't you just lead with that?

I'd love to screw over that douchebag.

Well... you get us in the building, I'll get us the money.

- Not gonna happen.

CHARLOTTE: What, you think I'm just gonna take the money and run?

Yep.

Look, the penthouse has only one way in and one way out. I need you to stand watch to make sure nobody comes in behind me.

DANIEL: Okay. Fine. But I'll also be watching to make sure you don't sneak out and disappear.

Because you'd miss me if I did?

DANIEL: You know what? Maybe I would.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Detective Gennaro.

- I need to speak with Rex Wilson.

- Sorry, Detective, Rex is already out there on the speedway for his practice run.

Uh, all right.

Thanks.

Yep.

[ENGINE ROARS]

- I don't know!

- Something's wrong!

[FAINT WHOOSHING]

AMENADIEL: What is it you're using my talents for this time, Luci?

Another orgy you want prolonged?

Race cars!

Of course.

Yes, but it's not what it looks like this time, Brother. But thank you for arriving so speedily.
Actually... come to think of it, you've been quite fast at responding to my summons recently.

I'm just eager to return you back to where you belong, Brother... in Hell.

Yes, but you never seem to be in the middle of anything. How is the Silver City?

Still Silver. Still a City.

LUCIFER: And our siblings? I hear Uriel's gone and grown a mustache.

[CHUCKLES]

He did?
I wouldn't know. I'm stuck down here.

But you should.

Well, it's been a couple of years since I've been back, Luci.

So where have you been?

Certainly not slumming it with the humans.

[CHUCKLES]

Wait, have you been flying around this whole time like some sort of feathery homeless man?

[LAUGHING]: Wait, that is

what you've been doing.

What choice do I have? Since you refuse to return to Hell, I can't possibly face our siblings or...

Dad? Yeah. Quite the judgmental one, I'm well aware.

[SIGHS]

Well... if your pride won't let you back into the Silver City, Brother, you should give humans a try.

[GRUNTS]

- [CHUCKLES]

- Oh, come on, Luci, I'm the foremost of God's angels. I can't just intermix with these humans, like...

What, like me? Yeah, don't worry, Brother. I mean, they are absurd creatures, but sometimes they surprise you.

You should try talking to one.

See what happens.

Now, if you don't mind...

[TIRES SQUEALING]

Time for a chat, Rexie.

What the hell happened?

How did you...

Focus!

I need you to tell me,

- why did you k*ll Stryder Nov...

- Let him go!

How the hell did you make it out here anyway?

Look, just give me a moment, and I'll be out of your...

Look, just move.

You're not going anywhere, pal.

Look, I just want to talk...

♪ ♪ I thought you can get just wanted to talk.

Why are you arresting me?

Did you see what that nutjob did?

How the hell did he do that, anyway?

I don't care about him.

I want to know about the m*rder of Stryder Novac.

Stryder...

Oh, man.

I was trying not to think about that

- and just focus on the race...

- I know he was gonna replace you and force you into an early retirement, so you can knock it off with the weepy act!

I didn't k*ll him, if that's what you're thinking.

I would never do that.

All right, we can do this one of three ways.

Let me guess: the easy way or...

[GRUNTS]

What the hell!

There is no easy way.

We can do this the fast way, the slow way...

- Then, there's my favorite way!

- [GROANS]

So, try, maybe, 'cause there is nothing I love more than making a grown man cry.

I-I'll tell you everything you want to know.

So that's your favorite way.

I've always wondered since I saw you give that speech in Weaponizer : Thou Shalt Not k*ll.

I thought that sounded familiar.

What...

Wait a minute, are you Chloe Decker?

She is.

Amazing, isn't it?

What the hell is going on around here?

He was about to talk.

Well, apologies for the interruption.

But if you'll allow me to make amends, I've got a few skills of my own.

Tell me... Rex...

what is it you desire?

REX: Wait, I...

want a good story.

Wh-What...

What are you talking about?

Uh, people, they don't follow cars anymore.

They follow drivers.

Drama.

Stryder's dad, he was a NASCAR legend.

And your biggest rival, if I remember correctly.

When he d*ed, so did my merch sales.

So, getting Stryder to replace him, that-that-that got the rivalry back.

Yeah, but how does that help you?

You're out of a job.

I started a management firm about a year ago...

Stryder was a client.

It was my idea to get him to replace me.

Poor kid.

Stryder, he... he was so happy when I made him that offer.

Well, yeah, it was an opportunity of a lifetime.

Apparently, he needed the money to get him out of a jam.

What do you mean, "jam"?

He was having some trouble with a guy at work.

Uh, uh, excuse me.

What the hell was that back there?

I've already apologized for interrupting your monologue, Ms.

Decker.

No, how the hell did you get Rex to spill like that?

Ah, well, I have the ability to draw out people's desires.

Well, what are you, psychic or something?

No, no, I can't read people's minds.

I'm not a Jedi.

[CHUCKLES]

People just like to tell me things.

Okay, well, we should stop stepping on each other's toes, because we both clearly want the same thing.

Oh, that's very forward of you, Ms.

Decker.

Yes, I will have sex with you.

- We should probably solve this m*rder first...

- No, no.

I mean that we should work together.

[LAUGHING]: No.

I mean, you've proven a very impressive adversary, but I'm not really a "work together" kind of Devil.

- So...

- Well, too bad.

Because I know who Stryder was fighting with at work.

Very well...

Lead the way, Ms.

Decker.

[CHUCKLES]

So, the second marriage is going well?

Oh, totally.

Uh, e-even though I've made mistakes, the second time around just feels better.

You know?

Mm, yes.

It can be hard to trust again.

This time I just know she loves me for me.

I have no doubt...

that you'll stay with us.

More with box office sensation Nathan Fury when we come back.

- And cut.

- [SET BELL RINGS]

Wow, Linda, every day I am in awe watching you work.

Oh...

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you, Stacy.

Uh, when we come back from break, ask him how he feels about his new wife cheating on him.

Can you just give us one second, please?

Thank you.

Wait, what?

Our investigator caught her on tape kissing her costar at the Farmer's Market.

Juicy, right?

No.

My God, that's terrible.

That's going to devastate Nathan.

And make great TV.

As his therapist, I can't in good conscience incite a breakdown.

That's not why I do this.

And that is why America loves you, Linda.

But you know what else America loves?

Tears.

But Stacy, you can't...

Ratings are down.

We need a boost like this.

What's more important to you?

WOMAN: Set.

Aah!

[GRUNTS]

That's who was arguing with your stuntman?

- Lara Croft wannabe?

- WOMAN: What the hell, Rogers?

Erika Dunlap.

My costar.

I told you that move wouldn't work.

Why don't you ever listen to me?

Well, she seems to be fighting with a lot of people.

Well, her beef with Stryder was a lot bigger.

LUCIFER: Oh?

ROGERS: Chloe, what are you doing here?

You on the schedule today?

Hey, Ben.

I just forgot some things in my trailer.

But what's going on with Erika lately?

I mean, she was giving Stryder grief, too, the last time I saw her.

Everyone deals with death differently.

In Erika's case, she deals by taking it out

- on my entire stunt team.

- Lovely.

Nothing we can't handle.

- Sorry.

- Yeah.

All right, when you're finished having a catch-up...

- What?

- What was the bigger beef?

Uh, well, Erika got hurt during a stunt and she was looking forward to a hefty settlement, but her eyewitness, Stryder, refused to testify on her behalf and it-it didn't go over well with Erika.

Oh, so you think she k*lled him out of revenge?

Or knowing that without an eyewitness, she'd have a better chance at winning the case.

And reap the windfall.

Right.

You know, I'd go talk to Erika, but she and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye.

I've seen what you can do to people.

Erika's trailer is right there.

Why don't you go and, you know, do your thing?



Ah.

- I mean...

- Monkey?

Dad.

Hi.

What-what are you doing here?

Well, I've been hearing some crazy stories.

You didn't sneak into a NASCAR race, right?

And you definitely didn't impersonate a cop?

Okay, Dad, it's not what you're thinking.

Good, 'cause if you're still working with that mentally ill nightclub owner, w-what's-his-name.

ERIKA [ECSTATIC]

: Lucifer!

LUCIFER: That's right,

- say my name.

Say my name.

- [ERIKA MOANING IN PLEASURE]

CHARLOTTE: Lucifer?

Is anyone here?

Lucifer?

[SIGHS]

Jackpot.

Um, I work for Lucifer.

He sent me here to get the cash for...

I don't care about the money.

You don't?

I care about why you want it.

Tell me the truth and it's yours.

Lucifer needs it to finish the Vegas deal.

[SIGHS]

Because I deserve it.

What would you do with it?

Whatever I damn well want.

I'll take that as a promise.

Go.

Embrace your deepest, darkest desire.

Let those sinful little embers burn into a flame.

Why?

We'll meet again... eventually.

Somewhere hotter.

And the more you sin, the more fun it'll be for me.

Think of this as foreplay.

However...

if I ever see you and that boy toy in Los Angeles again, I will gut that pretty belly of yours.

Everyone knows you don't steal from the Devil.

JOHN: Do you have any idea

what a difficult situation you've put me in?

Dad, I had to do something.

Okay?

Stryder wasn't k*lled in a bar fight.

And we are on to something.

I can feel it.

- "We"?

- LUCIFER: Bye, Erika.

My flexible friend.

[LAUGHS]

Well, your plan worked wonders.

Consider the suspect well and truly pumped.

F-F-For information.

Uh-huh.

He means pumped for information.

What happened to doing your hypno-eye thing?

- With the eyes.

- Oh.

- [LAUGHS]

That's what you meant.

- Yes.

Oh, no, we went at it like little bunnies.

Next time you should be more specific.

There will be no "next time." I raised you better than this, Chloe.

- Dad...

- LUCIFER: Oh.

Papa Decker, I presume?

Right.

Well, from what I've seen, what you've raised is an intelligent, capable and frustratingly stubborn woman.

Don't talk to me about my daughter.

We'll discuss this later.

Now go home.

I...

Charming.

I don't know why, but I actually thought he'd be proud of me.

Well, disappointing fathers is a rite of passage, Ms.

Decker.

Take it from someone who's made a living out of it.

No, no, he's right.

He's right.

I'm not a cop.

I'm an actress.

I mean...

who really thought that I could solve a m*rder?

Well, I did.

And I still do.

There's no evidence, not of anything.

That's not necessarily true, 'cause I just learned that that Erika woman can put her ankles around my neck.

Okay, that's really not helping right now.

Thank you.

Wait, if she was really injured, she wouldn't be able to do that.

Precisely.

She was faking her injury.

[LAUGHS]

And she was very generous with information after I was very generous with the ol...

Okay, I don't want to know.

Okay.

Well, she said that she needed money and that Stryder refused to lie on her behalf.

But then he said he was coming into a windfall and could help her out.

Apparently he and a partner were planning on stealing something very valuable from set.

So maybe Stryder was backing out of this heist to have a sh*t at NASCAR.

Well, his partner wouldn't take kindly to being left high and dry, now, would he?

No.

He wouldn't.

So, does that mean you're still in, Detective?

How do we figure out who Stryder was working with on set?

Perhaps the m*rder w*apon will help narrow it down.

Come on.

Okay.

Ah!

Ms.

Lopez.

Any joy tracing the mark on that m*rder w*apon?

Sort of, yeah, but not really.

This idiot upgraded this poor girl's engine.

[GRUNTS]

Amateurs, am I right?

This is who you gave the m*rder w*apon to?

- [SIGHS]

- ELLA: You brought someone in here with you?

Without asking?

What did I tell you about...

Oh, my God.

It's you.

Bonnie Gennaro?

I mean, I-I know you're not her her, but-but you're her.

I had no idea you were a fan.

My God, are-are you kidding?

Ever since I saw her shimmy that Oldsmobile 's lock and speed off in

The Weaponizer,


she has been my inspiration.

Wait, wait.

[CHUCKLES]

I inspired you to steal cars?

Living fast and free, just like Bonnie.

Just like Bonnie.

I mean, I was thinking of taking a very different career path, but the way you brought Bonnie to life, it-it really spoke to me.

Thank you, but you do know by the end of the movie, Bonnie did join the police force.

Huh, well, no, I never really watched it to the end.

LUCIFER: Tell me.

What did you find on the m*rder w*apon, or didn't find?

Well, I'm so glad you asked.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Follow me, please.

It did have something filed off of the handle.

But as far as I can tell, it doesn't really mean anything.

I mean, "Last Lappers"?

Not exactly a smoking g*n.

- Wait, I've heard that somewhere before.

- LUCIFER: Well, that's the name of the racing team in the seminal ' s movie Razor's Edge.

Kip Strong's struggle between the love of a woman and love of a race.

Fantastic movie, with some ve...

Wait, more importantly, our stunt coordinator, Rogers, he always bragged about working on that.

So if Stryder and Rogers were stealing something together, and Stryder backed out...

Maybe Rogers k*lled Stryder to tie up loose ends.

- Let's go talk to him.

- Right.

I'll drive.

Thank you, Ms.

Lopez.

So great meeting you!

♪ ♪

- Sir.

Excuse me.

- [MUFFLED]: I can't stop.

Do you know where we can find Ben Rogers?

- [MUTTERING]

- [STAMMERS]

Very helpful, thank you.

Well, look, even if we find him, how do you plan on confronting him?

It's not like we have proof of his theft.

Unless we wait and catch him in the act.

Okay, so what are the most valuable items on set?

Uh, well, camera equipment is worth a ton, uh, wardrobe has a huge resale value.

What about a six-million-dollar car?

What?

That's specific.

What makes you say that?

Seeing it drive off.

- Right.

- I got this.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm trained for this.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

What do you think you're doing, Decker?

Confronting a m*rder*r.

We know you k*lled Stryder, Ben.

And all because he wouldn't steal one little car.

I mean, it is lovely, but...

What?

I'm not stealing the car, I'm getting it ready for your stunt tomorrow, Decker.

You know, to keep you safe?

So you're welcome.

We found your prints all over that m*rder w*apon.

You did?

We did?

We didn't, but now I know you k*lled him.

[LAUGHING]: Ah.

Nice bit of improvisation there, Ms.

Decker.

I don't care what the critics say.

You do have range.

Let's split up.

We can't let him get away.

There's nowhere to hide.

[g*n CLICKS]

Oh.

[LAUGHING]: Oh, ho, ho.

Hello, m*rder*r.

I didn't want this, I didn't want any of this.

Well, then, perhaps, you shouldn't have k*lled an innocent man.

Stryder's the one who backed out of the deal.

I begged him not to.

He forced my hand.

Just like you, right now.

[g*nsh*t]

[GROANS]

Now, someone is buying me a new shirt.

What the hell?

Now you're catching on.

[GRUNTS]

Nice takedown, partner.

I heard g*nshots, I was worried.

Lucky for you, Rogers must've grabbed a prop g*n.

Lucky for me.

Mm-hmm.

LUCIFER: ...never rendered anyone unconscious before.

I mean, in real life.

JOHN: Thank God you're all right.

Dad.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Confronting a m*rder*r?

What were you thinking,

- being so...

- LUCIFER: Foolish?

Rash?

Reckless?

[LAUGHING]: I've heard this tirade before.

Well, let me educate you, sir.

You underestimate your daughter.

She is...

JOHN: Brave.

I was gonna say "brave." Right.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I...

I know I've made mistakes, Chlo.

Lots of them.

But honey, I've never underestimated you.

Then how come any time I've ever shown any interest in your job, you-you either change the subject, or you push me away?

Because you're way smarter than me, you're more headstrong than your mother and it scared me.

I mean, what if you wanted to become a cop?

What if I did?

Oh, Monkey.

I've been sh*t at, b*at up, chased by a naked guy with a harpoon, once.

And...

none of those things scare me as much as thinking of you in those situations.

It was never about whether you could handle it.

It was whether I could.

And I'm sorry.

But a parent just wants what's best for their child.

It's okay.

I love you so much.

I love you, too, Monkey.

So, I, uh, got a crime scene to clean up now, thanks to you.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

Perhaps our dads aren't so similar after all.

Ah, well, my dad surprised me.

Maybe yours will, too.

[SCOFFS]

I'm not holding my breath.

GOD: Choice is a funny thing.

Give someone different options, different circumstances,

will they themselves end up different?

Sure, they might end up with a different job,

find inspiration from different people.

But will they still be the same person at their core?

♪ Like the dolphins ♪

♪ Like dolphins can swim ♪

♪ Though nothing... ♪

Some might continue down a darker path,

never knowing there was a different way.

The potential buried deep down, but still there.

♪ Forever and ever... ♪

Some make immoral choices instead of moral ones.

But they'll still have the same conscience.

The question is,

will they ever make the choice to listen to it?

And sometimes, it isn't the right moment in someone's life

to make a certain choice.

And no matter how badly you want

to nudge them in the right direction...

♪ You will be queen... ♪

...you know they need to find it on their own.

♪ Though nothing ♪

♪ Will drive them away... ♪

And some people find love in the strangest of situations,

and are, somehow, happier for it.

♪ We can be us ♪

♪ Just for one day... ♪

Well, that was quite fun, wasn't it?

Hmm?

Not bad for a half-in-the-bag club owner and an actress.

Well, I...

I don't know if "fun" is the word I would use.

No?

Yeah, but it certainly was fulfilling.

You know, it makes me think maybe I'm tired of playing a cop in the movies, you know?

Maybe...

Maybe I'd like to play detective for real.

[LAUGHING]: What?

Hang up the glitz and the glamour for a badge and a naked man with a harpoon?

Yeah.

Oh.

Maybe I'll tag along.

It's never gonna happen.

Care to wager?

GOD: And some, no matter how you shake things up,

end up making the same choices, are drawn to the same people,

the same passions.

So all seems to have ended well.

Does that mean I never should've

manipulated things to begin with?

I have a better question.

Wouldn't you do the same in my shoes?

After all, a parent just wants what's best for their child.

♪ We could be heroes ♪

♪ Just for one day... ♪
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