05x08 - Spoiler Alert

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lucifer". Aired: January 2016 to present.*

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"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
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05x08 - Spoiler Alert

Post by bunniefuu »

[g*n FIRES]

["THE END OF THE WORLD" BY SKEETER DAVIS PLAYING]

♪ Why does the sun go on shining? ♪

♪ Why does the sea rush to shore? ♪

♪ Don't they know ♪

♪ It's the end of the world ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't love me anymore? ♪

[EXHALES SLOWLY]

- [GASPS LOUDLY]
- [MUSIC ENDS]

[BOTH PANTING]

[WHISPERING] Oh, my God.

You're okay.

[LUCIFER PANTING]

I'm okay.

You're okay.

What the hell are you doing?

DAN: What am I doing? What are you doing? He's the Devil, and you've known about it all this time?

I've never hidden my devil-ness from anyone.

How'd you find out?

DAN: I saw him that night. With Amenadiel and Charlie. I came back and I saw his... his freaking scary-ass red face.

Well, I'm not particularly fond of your face either, Daniel, but you don't see me trying to k*ll you.

DAN: How am I the bad guy here, huh? I'm trying to save you, I'm trying... I'm trying to save our daughter, I'm trying to save the world!

Okay, Dan, I understand.

I get it, and when I first learned about... who he is, I didn't handle it well, either, but he's not what the world makes him out to be. He's a good person.

- [SPLUTTERS]
- He is.

And despite your differences, I think you know that.

- You know him.
- [g*n FIRES]

Huh. Yep, invulnerable. [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

DAN: This is crazy!

It's crazy! You're all... You're all crazy!

Where are you going?

DAN: I'm not gonna sh**t somebody else if that's what you're worried about, okay?

I just need to get the hell away from him!

sh*t. He's supposed to pick Trixie up from the sitter.

I should get to her first and take her to my mom's until he cools down.

Well, I wouldn't hold your breath.

I don't think "cool" is in Dan's repertoire.

Are you sure you're okay?

LUCIFER: I'm more than okay. I'm completely invulnerable, even around you. [CHUCKLES]

All of a sudden?

Why now?

LUCIFER: Well, who cares? Would you rather the b*llet have k*lled me?

No, of course not. I'm just trying to... make sense of all this.

The mojo swap, and now this...

But no, I... I...

You're right.

Gift horse.

- [SIGHS]
- Hmm.

I should go.

Right.

[ELEVATOR DOOR CLOSES]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Hey, I am so sorry I have to run, but I had a blast last night.

- Yeah, um...
- Thanks so much for having me over.

- Bye.
- Uh, wait, wait, wait.

PETE: There's just one more...
- Oh. Yeah.

PETE: Pick a hand.

[CHUCKLES] Um...

This one.

PETE: Uh, try again.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Okay, so, that one.

PETE: Yes!

Phew! [CHUCKLES]

What's that?

PETE: It's a key to my place.That way you don't, you know, have to wait outside for me next time.

Oh.

Oh, sh**t.

I'm sorry.

- Is this too fast? I... I...
- No.

Not at all.

ELLA: It's totally too fast. Or am I crazy?

Um, well, I thought you said things were going really, really well.

ELLA: I did. Is there such a thing as "too well"? Okay. Last night, right? We go out to dinner.
Candles, wine. Pete takes my hand, he stares into my eyes...

- Mm-hmm.
ELLA: ... and he says, "I love... meatloaf". And I mean, sure, meatloaf, absolutely delish, okay? But I don't think that's what he meant, Chloe. I think I am the meatloaf. Me.

- Oh, wow.
ELLA: I know. Swoon, right? But we, like, just met. I mean, how long did it take Lucifer to say "I love you"?

Uh...

Well, every relationship is different, and, um...You know, you probably you shouldn't compare yourself to others, but, um...

Ella, this is a good thing. Enjoy it. Embrace it.

- Okay?
- Embrace it.

- Yeah. Okay.
- All right.

[CACKLES]

- [SNAKE HISSES]
- Lucifer, what are you doing?

- Well, I can't just let Dan...
- [SNAKE SPITS]

... get away with sh**ting me!

[LAUGHS] An eye for an eye, or in this case, a snake for a b*llet.

That is not a good idea.

No?

[SIGHS] No, no.

- You're right.
- [GASPS]

I gotta think bigger.

I mean, it's not even poisonous. [CHUCKLES]

No, that's not what I mean.

Dan is fragile right now.

Please don't do something else to set him off.

What's he gonna do, bounce another b*llet off me?

Ooh!

Speaking of, I've been thinking. My newfound invulnerability around you changes everything, especially on the job.

I mean, there may be no more mojo, but there's also no more dodging g*nf*re. In fact, from now on, think of me as your human shield.

Or "Devil shield", rather.

Come on, let's practice.

Lucifer, no. Listen. I've been thinking about the Whisper k*ller case.

Something isn't adding up.

- But Klumpsky confessed to everything.
- Yes, but something is off.

Serial K*llers often go for someone they know, and then branch out to strangers.

Klumpsky had no connection to the first three victims, only the fourth.

So it doesn't make sense.

Well, if only there was someone we could talk to.

"The Whisper k*ller"?

Lame. That doesn't even make sense.

I don't k*ll whispers.

I have a list of far superior names

I'd like you to submit to the paper's editor.

For example, "The sil*ncer".

"The Husher".

No, no. Maybe... Maybe it should be...

[GASPS]

"The Shusher".

CHLOE: I will deliver the names once you've answered a few more questions.

Hmm.

[EXHALES] Deal.

CHLOE: Right. First question.

What's the worst thing you've ever done to someone, without k*lling them?

I once ate someone's kidney in front of them.

LUCIFER: Ew. Well, that's a non-starter. I refuse to put any part of Daniel in my mouth.

CHLOE: How did you target Olivia Sacks in San Antonio?

Ha.

Olivia.

Well, I followed her home one night.

San Antonio is a nice town for stalking.

Uh, you know, I'm...

I'm sorry, it was Phoenix.

Um, Olivia was in Phoenix, right?

Right, yes.

Sorry, my victims kind of blend together after a while.

CHLOE: Blending, yes.

LUCIFER: Speaking of, do you know how many laxatives you can slip a man-child without, you know, causing permanent damage?

CHLOE: Uh, please ignore my partner, and back to Olivia. Why did you move her body?

I like to switch things up, keep you guys guessing.

[CHLOE] Right.

Yes, clever.

And I see a...

CHLOE: Oh! You know what, I'm sorry. I messed up again.

It was Joy Goodman's body that you moved, not Olivia.

But you would know that, right?

What is this?

You trying to trip me up?

I think it's time for my lawyer.

[LUCIFER SIGHS]

CHLOE: Klumpsky doesn't know what he's talking about.

Agreed. He was completely useless in my brainstorming session.

CHLOE: Well, what I mean is I don't think he k*lled the first three victims.

LUCIFER: So? He clearly k*lled that schoolteacher Madison, and he took a swing at you.

He belongs in prison, then Hell. Who cares about the details?

[QUIVERING EXHALE]

CHLOE: I care about the details, Lucifer. But since you seem more concerned with getting the perfect revenge on Dan, why don't you just go do that? I'll get to the bottom of this on my own.

Fantastic idea, Detective.

Divide and conquer. Yeah.

[INDUSTRIAL MUSIC PLAYING]

CHLOE: Lucifer, I was right.

Klumpsky didn't k*ll the first three.

There's another serial k*ller, and he's still out there.

Listen, I got a lead, tomorrow, in the Arts District, so...

[SCREAMS]

[DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]

Yes.

Oh, that is it! [CACKLES]

That is how I get back at you, Daniel!

Oh!

[EXHALES] This calls for a drink!

[MUSIC ENDS]

Voicemail? [CHUCKLES]

Didn't even hear it ring.

[SIGHS] Yes.

CHLOE: Lucifer, I was right.

Klumpsky didn't k*ll the first three.

There's another serial k*ller, and he's still out there.

Listen, I got a lead, tomorrow, in the Arts District, so...

[SCREAMS]

[STRUGGLING SOUNDS ON PHONE]

[CHLOE YELPING ON PHONE]

[CRASHING SOUNDS ON PHONE]

[STATIC ON PHONE]

Detective!

[PANTING RAPIDLY]

[GASPS]

[BREATHES NERVOUSLY]

Detective.

[POLICE CHATTER ON RADIO]

ELLA: Signs of forced entry, obvious evidence of a struggle, valuables left behind.
This doesn't look like a robbery.

Go ahead, Miss Lopez. You can say it.

ELLA: The detective's been kidnapped. I-I-I still haven't been able to get a hold of Dan.

Trust me, he'll be of no use to us right now.

ELLA: Trixie. Is Trixie okay?
- Yes, she's safe, at her grandmother's.

The detective was re-examining the Whisper k*ller case.

In her voicemail, she mentioned finding proof of another serial k*ller out there.

Wait, do you think that this other k*ller found out that Chloe was onto him,

- and this is him covering up his tracks?
- I do.

I just wish we knew what she'd figured out.

[SIGHS] Well, her phone and her laptop were smashed.

Uh, tech team is trying to recover what they can, but no guarantees.

None of this would have happened if I hadn't been distracting myself.

I should have listened to the detective.

ELLA: Yeah, you should have. You should have! You should have been there!

- Miss Lopez.
ELLA: Why weren't you there?

- Miss Lopez!
ELLA: You should have been there!

We can't lose our heads right now.

The detective needs us.

ELLA: You're right. She needs us. Okay, we'll keep looking.

We'll keep looking.

Hey, what about this? I mean, does this mean anything to you, the name "Scotty Thomas"?

No, but that address is downtown.

In her message the detective mentioned following a lead at the Arts District.

Then that has to be it.

Let's go.

[METAL GRATE SQUEAKING]

ELLA: Lucifer, I-I-I'm a little out of my depth here. I mean, I'm just a forensic scientist.

Relax, Miss Lopez.

We're just following a lead, not walking into a k*ller's lair.

ELLA: Yeah, but still, I mean, don't you think we should loop in an actual detective?

We don't have time to brief someone new. Here it is.

ELLA: [GRUNTS] Crap, it's locked.
- Is it?

[SNAPPING SOUND]

ELLA: Weird. Guess not.
- Mm.

What was that about not walking into a k*ller's lair?

[LUCIFER] Shh!

ELLA: Do you think Chloe's here? Should we call for backup?

I'm all the backup we need.

ELLA: You're just an actor!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

[MAN HUMMING]

What are you... Oh!

Whoa! Whoa!

- Where is she?
- [MAN WHIMPERS]

If you k*lled her, I swear to Dad, I...

k*lled... Who are you?

Why would you think I would k*ll anyone?

Oh, really? I wonder!

[YELPS] The Kn*fe?
The lobby? No, no, no!

This is just for inspiration, I swear.

No, we got it all from a Hollywood prop house that was going out of business.

I use it to get my team in the right headspace.

What team? What headspace?

My nerd squad.

We're developing a virtual reality game where the user gets to be a serial k*ller.

[CHUCKLES IRONICALLY] Humans. Honestly.

Yeah, they're all blunts. Clearly props.

Well, then... why did the detective think this place was a lead?

D... Detective?

Wait.

Detective Decker?

You two work with her?

Are you Scotty Thomas?

Yeah.

The detective was supposed to meet me here but she never showed.

I even printed the transcripts she asked for.

Where are these transcripts?

Show me.

Sweet.

Detective Decker reached out to me on KillShare.

And KillShare is...

It's a dark web chat site for those interested in, well, k*lling.

Jeez, there's a site for everything.

We use it as research.

The posts are anonymous and unmoderated.

Anyone can post anything, and I mean anything.

People have some pretty disturbing appetites.

Appetites you'll be encouraging with your serial k*ller game.

Whoa, hey, man.

As long as they're scratching that itch in VR, they're not doing it in real life.

Okay? I'm one of the good guys.

And the KillShare crowd isn't exactly into working with law enforcement, but I offered to help.

Well, how, exactly?

Okay, well, Detective Decker was on KillShare tracking a user that you guys apparently caught.

Les Klumpsky, a.k.a. the Whisper k*ller?

I was one of the few that he was direct messaging.

ELLA: And Chloe wanted to read your convos?

Exactly. Now, the KillShare DM's, they self-destruct, but I screencap everything.

It's going to take forever to go through all this.

Wait, hold on.

Klumpsky keeps referring to a "LilyMan ".

LilyMan? Worst superhero name ever.

[MUMBLES]

Found it.

Holy...

All of LilyMan's posts are first-hand accounts of murders that match the Whisperer k*ller's, with deets that haven't even gone public yet.

Wait, Chloe said that our guy Klumpsky didn't do the first three murders that he admitted to, right?

Yes, that's what her message said.

I know what she figured out.

Klumpsky is a copycat.

This LilyMan is the original k*ller, the one that she said was still out there.

Well, how do we find this LilyMan?

Uh, well, I mean,

I can get Cyber to track the different IP addresses of his posts, but it's going to take some time.

We don't have time!

Well, m-maybe you can use the nerd squad.

Some of the best around. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, my gosh, thank you!

Right. Well, while you do that...

- I need to make a call.
- Okay.

[CHARLIE CRYING]

[MAZE GROWLS]

Too many words.

Don't you have any books with pictures?

I thought you were supposed to help me.

Sorry, Maze, I have to get Charlie to the hospital. Linda's leaving her conference early, so she's gonna meet us there.

Aren't you overreacting? I mean, a fever of 101 doesn't sound like a big deal to me.
In Hell, we kept it at a brisk 120.

Right. Well, while 101 might not be the end of the world for a normal baby,Charlie's part angel, so, for him to be running a fever like this must mean there's something wrong with him.

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGING CONTINUES]

You're supposed to pick that up when it makes that noise, right?

I'm not talking to Lucifer.

Maze...

He kept my mother from me.

Does Lucifer even know why you're mad at him?

No.

Well, maybe you might want to tell him.

[PHONE RINGING CONTINUES]

What part of me not picking up are you not picking up on?

Chloe's what?

Tell me what you need me to do.

- [BRAKES SQUEAL]
ELLA: Yes, that's correct.

Uh-huh. That's right.

Yes, yes, we traced LilyMan's IPs to different addresses.

Only one was from a private residence, probably the k*ller's.

We're already here. Send for backup.

Uh... Gotta go.

[FLIES BUZZING]

[LUCIFER] Ugh!

Oh! [ELLA GASPS]

Lucifer.

[LUCIFER BREATHES NERVOUSLY]

[BOTH GAGGING]

[FLIES BUZZING]

[LUCIFER EXHALES]

[BOTH BREATHING NERVOUSLY]

[LUCIFER GASPS]

Detective?

[ELLA SIGHS]

ELLA: It's not Chloe.Thank God.

LUCIFER: Which means she's still out there... in the hands of that bastard.

"For the numerous reasons above, I demand your publication use my preferred serial k*ller name.

Sincerely... the Voice Box k*ller".

[MAZE] Can you really call yourself a serial k*ller?

[GASPS]

I heard you only did the one.

How did... How did you get in here?

MAZE: I met a lot of your heroes. Gacy, Dahmer, Stinky Ted. You all have something in common. You're a coward... just like them. But at least they came up with their own shtick.

Who are you?

MAZE: We're gonna get to know each other really well.

Thanks, man.

[PETE] Hey.

ELLA: Hey. What are you doing here?

Guess my editor really liked my Whisper k*ller coverage, 'cause apparently, I'm her crime b*at guy now.

ELLA: Oh, well, that seems great. I mean, why do you seem so down about it?

I don't want you to think that I'm using our relationship for personal gain. Just say the word, and I'll leave.

ELLA: Uh, no, I would never think that. No. Look, I gotta do my job, and you gotta do yours.

Are you sure? Because I know we've been moving a little fast.Who am I kidding? We've been moving a lot fast, and...

I don't want to do anything that would scare you away.

ELLA: Honestly, Pete, you have been nothing but absolutely amazing. I don't even know why I've been worried about moving too fast.

See? No, but I could tell. I could tell you were concerned.

ELLA: Yeah, kind of, but... You know what?

For once, I know a good thing when I see it, and...

[SIGHS, KISSES]

ELLA: I have got to rush back to the precinct, but you do your thing.

This is perfect for you.

It's connected to the Whisper k*ller case.

- Yeah, no, you got your hands full.
- Okay, yeah.

- Hey.
- Yeah?

This is probably dumb, but I did a ton of research on the Whisper k*ller. It's all in a box at my place if you would ever want it.

ELLA: Are you trying to make me like you even more?

Mm... Maybe.

[SIGHS] You're just...

Look, I-I-I'll call you later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[GRUNTS FORCEFULLY]

I can't. I'm sorry.

Try again, brother.

I tried five times already, Lucy.

I'm telling you, I cannot slow down time anymore.

I haven't been able to since that time I saved Linda.

Speaking of which, I should probably go find her.

Charlie's test results should be in.

Oh, well, thanks for nothing.

[SIGHS]

Listen, I really wish I could help you find Chloe,

- but I have faith in you, brother.
LUCIFER: Well, you shouldn't.

I'm useless without her!

How am I going to find the detective without the detective?

Maybe stop wasting time trying to get me to slow it and just, you know, do some good old-fashioned detective work.

LUCIFER: Detective work? [LAUGHING] Me?

Are you trying to tell me that after all these years of working with Chloe...that you haven't learned anything?

[GRUNTS]

Amenadiel. Dr. Subia wants to see us.

Okay.

You can find her, Detective Morningstar.

[ELLA] Whoa! Who did this for you?

No one. I did this myself.

I figured we needed to find similarities between our victims in order to build our k*ller's profile.

Be still my heart. Okay, what do we got?

Well, uh, the victim we found this morning is Phyllis Cameron,

A-list movie director, but based on the ME's report, she d*ed a week ago, which means that

LilyMan got to her before he k*lled Diane Luna, the opera singer.

Okay, so our guy clearly has a type: powerful women.

- Mm-hmm.
- And Madison, our elementary school teacher, is off-pattern because of...

Because she was k*lled by copycat Klumpsky.

I mean, his sloppy trail of evidence allowed us to catch him before he could strike again, but the original Whisper k*ller, he's...

He's cleverer, he's cleaner.

ELLA: Lucifer, I have got to say, very impressive with the detective work.

Thank you.

If only it were enough to find him, to... find her.

And we need more than this!

I talked to the copycat.

Well, "talk" isn't exactly the right word.

Well, did he scream anything of value?

Maybe. He said that he was messaging with the original k*ller, and found out that this LilyMan likes to hunt his victims in restaurants.

Copycat said, and I quote, "LilyMan looks for windbags".

So he targets women who talk a lot?

- Gulp.
- Hold on.

I think I remember seeing the last charges three of the four victims made were at a restaurant.

ELLA: Wait, you went through credit card statements - and cross-referenced them?
- Yes.

Call the restaurants, find out if any of them have surveillance cameras.

I'm so on it.

Uh, right.

Did Klumpsky ever meet his inspiration?

- Did he ever get a good look at him?
- No.

Are you sure?

Five broken ribs, a torn rotator cuff, and "It's a Small World" on repeat?

Yeah, I'm sure.

[SIGHS]

Okay, so only one of the places has CCTV.

All right. Maze and I will check it out.

ELLA: And I don't know if this is helpful, but... Pete has some pretty extensive research on the Whisper k*ller murders. I can see if he's got anything useful.

Yes, thank you, Miss Lopez.

Sorry, I can't show you the tapes.

[SIGHS] We don't have time for t*rture.

- Whoa! t*rture?
- Do you have a better idea?

Well, if I still had my mojo,

I'd just ask, "What is it you desire?"

I want to be a dancer.

Wait, did my mojo just work?

I... I've never told anyone that before.

[CHUCKLES] I'm back.

Maze, I'm back! Right. Right, well, you're in luck, Baryshnikov, because I happen to own a nightclub.

So, you help us, I'll hire you and make your Footloose dreams come true.

- What do you say? Deal?
- Deal.

[LAUGHING] All right.

Okay, boss. What are we looking for?

We are looking for...her.

- She was here Thursday evening.
- Okay.

Good man.

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

So, have you ever heard of a demon getting a soul?

[SCOFFS] Of course not. That's impossible.

Yeah, um... I've heard that all my life.

Then again, you did fall in love.

Amenadiel had a baby with a human.

There's a first for everything, right?

Well, that's different. We're angels. You're just a demon.

[COMPUTER BLEEPS]

Oh! Ha!

There she is! Yes, that's definitely her.

Right, we just need to wait for the creepy guy stalking her.

How do we even know who we're looking for?

[GROANING SIGH]

Okay.

Never mind.

Oh, my Dad.

ELLA: Pete? I haven't been able to get a hold of you. Are you here?

Pete?

Pete?

Guess not.

Okay, here I go. Your not-at-all-creepy girlfriend, coming in to borrow your files.

Nice.

[ELECTRIC HUMMING]

[ELECTRIC HUMMING INTENSIFIES]

[INDUSTRIAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, God.

El.

Hey.

ELLA: Hey. Yeah, I...

I called you but you didn't answer, so I just...

Anyway, I just came to grab that research you offered.

Sorry, sorry... Sorry, if I just...

Sorry? That's the reason I gave you the key, silly. Mi casa es su casa.

- [KISSES]
- [KEYS DROP]

[SEETHING EXHALE]

Did you unscrew that?

What?

No. No, w-what screw?

Ella, I really wish you hadn't gone in there.

ELLA: No! No, don't! Ow!

- This is such a bummer.
- No... No...

- I was really hoping...
- No! No!

- ... that you'd be different.
- No! No! No!

Stop...

Open your eyes!

No! [ELLA CHOKING]

- [PETE STRAINING]
- No! No!

- [PANTING]
- Oh, no! [CHOKING]

Stop it... [GRUNTS]

[PETE GASPS, PANTING]

[ELLA GROANS]

- [PETE GRUNTS]
- [ELLA PANTING]

[STRAINS]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[LUCIFER] He hasn't said a word since his arrest.

I'll get him talking.

No. We've only got one sh*t at this.

We can't risk him lawyering up or dying.

We have to approach this cautiously.

- [DOOR CLOSES]
ELLA: Where is she, Pete?

ELLA: Where's Chloe?
- [MAZE] No.

Lucifer, she is in no shape to face him.

Miss Lopez is stronger than you think. Stronger than she thinks.

ELLA: Where is Chloe? We know you're LilyMan, Pete. The original Whisper k*ller.
We have all the evidence we need from your creepy little plant room.
God, just when I thought I'd found a good guy.

I am a good guy.

ELLA: Yeah, except for the whole, you know, k*lling people part.

Exactly. Everyone has flaws.

ELLA: "Everyone has flaws"? Pete, it's not like you left the toilet seat up. You k*ll people.
Innocent women. Because why? What, were you abused as a child?
Did... Did... Did your dad hit you one too many times?

What? No. It was my mother, and she didn't hit me, she screamed at me all day, every day.

ELLA: Is that why you cut all those women's vocal cords?

PETE: Was that too obvious? Should I have cut their hearts out instead?

ELLA: All of this because your mommy was mean to you?

No, she wasn't just mean to me. She didn't love me. All she loved was her stupid lily garden.

ELLA: A lot of people have crappy childhoods, Pete. We don't become serial K*llers.

Mm...

ELLA: So what, that... That whole time you were just using me to stay ahead of the investigation?

Yeah, it started that way, and then it... evolved.

ELLA: Oh, my God. You were going to k*ll me, weren't you? I mean, I... I fit your profile, I'm...
I'm definitely a talker.

Yeah, but everything you say is so nice. I thought with you I was finally going to feel something, anything, but...

Mm, nope. And I did everything right, everything that you're supposed to do.
Candlelit dinners, I took you to that convention,
I gave you a key to my apartment.

ELLA: Yeah. You fooled me. Congrats.

Thank you, but it didn't work. The only time I ever feel anything is when I'm hearing them choke on their own blood... [EXHALES] unable to talk.

Hmm.

I don't know.

Maybe... [SIGHS]




Maybe if we got more time together.

ELLA: Time?

Mm-hmm.

ELLA: Time wouldn't change the fact that you are a cold-blooded m*rder*r.

PETE: Good point, but you gotta admit, we have a lot in common.

ELLA: We're nothing alike.

Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. There is darkness in you, Ella. I recognized it the very first moment that we met.

ELLA: Damn it, Pete! Just, where is Chloe?

I don't know, okay? I didn't do anything to her. I swear.

ELLA: You really have no idea where she is, do you?

Nope. Uh, Ells, just to be clear... This is you breaking up with me, right?

ELLA: Pete...you're going to burn in Hell.

[WHIMPERS]

Damn it.

This human stain is telling the truth.

He has no idea where she is. I've wasted all this time looking for the wrong bloody person!

[GROWLS, YELLS]

This is all my fault!

I don't understand.

Where is she? Who else would want to hurt the detective?

What if this isn't about her?

Lucifer, what if it's about hurting you?

[CHLOE GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Hello, Detective.

One tall non-fat almond milk latte with sugar-free caramel drizzle.

It's your favorite, come on.

Come on.

Hey!

That was, like, seven bucks.

- God.
- What am I doing here, Michael?

Don't worry.

This is just temporary.

It's all part of a bigger plan.

Plan? What, to make me dislike you even more?

No.

But... spoiler alert!

It is gonna be epic.

Just you wait.

Till then, I, uh...

I figured we should catch up.

I mean, a lot has happened since we saw each other last.

And why would I talk to you?

Because you want to know what they mean, the changes that my brother's been going through.

Although, deep down,

I think you probably already know, don't you?

Oh, so it's this again?

Trying to make me afraid about my relationship with Lucifer?

Now, you see, that's just it, Detective.

Just like Lucifer can't create desires, I can't create fears.

I just... expose what's already there, and, girl, you reek of fear. [CHUCKLES]

You don't know what you're talking about.

So, what, you're not afraid of what his newfound invulnerability means?

'Cause you do know that we angels, we self-actualize, right?

Which means him choosing to be vulnerable around you actually meant something, so I'm just, you know, putting it out there, but I wonder what this new development could mean.

You're wrong.

Lucifer and I are closer than ever.

Huh.

Yeah, you're probably right.

I mean, we all know Lucifer doesn't lie.

So, when he tells you he loves you, you know he really means it, right?

Unless...

Oh, no.

No, no. no. He hasn't said it yet, has he?

Even though you said it to him?

That is... [GROANS]

Looks like you'll maybe need some time to yourself, so...

I have a quick errand to run, but don't worry, Detective.

I will be back before you know it.

Enjoy the cave.

[GIGGLES]

[ROARS]

Found him in a bar, wasted.

Daniel.

No! No, no, no!

Daniel! Daniel!

Relax! Relax!

Stay away from me, don't hurt me.

Oh! Says the man who sh*t me.

Listen, Daniel, I know we've had our differences, but right now, what's happening is far more important than us.

Tell me... the night that you saw my face, why did you come back to the house?

Wha... ?

Because you called me.

You asked me to.

[SIGHS]

I didn't make that call, Daniel, but I think I know who did.

Who?

My twin.

Michael.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES] Dreadful poker face.

He's the one who told you to sh**t me, isn't he?

Look, I hate to break it to you, Daniel, but you have been played.

But Michael's an angel, and you're the Devil, you're the Prince of Lies.

Dan!

Chloe has been kidnapped by Michael.

We need to find her before he does whatever angelic things he's planning on doing!

Wait, what do you mean, kidnapped?

- Yes.
- Is that why everyone's on high alert?

Why didn't you tell me? Somebody let me out of here so I can help!

- Open the door!
- What are you going to do? Tell them that some archangel took her? We are on the same side here.

Only we can save her, and the only way you can help is by telling me where you saw Michael.

You're hurting me.

[GASPS]

Okay.

Okay...

Michael...

He came to me at the cemetery.

But then he... He flew me someplace else.

Uh, someplace private so we could talk.

It was, uh...

It was some weird cave.

Private? Well, that might be where he has Chloe.

Where's this cave?

Well, I-I-I don't know exactly.

How can you not know?
Did he blindfold you?

Well, I kind... I-I kind of... maybe passed out on the flight there.

- And back.
- [SIGHS]

You have got to be kidding me!

Come on, I'm afraid of heights.

You know what roller coasters do to me.

And believe me, flying is... It's way worse.

Is there anything of value that you can tell me, or are you just completely useless?

Look, the cave, it was strange, all right? It was... It was...

Parts of it, it looked fake.

There were... There were bars on it, and it seemed like nobody had been there in a really... really long time.

[METAL DOOR OPENING]

[MAN GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[GASPS]

Maze, Dan, what are you doing here?

That's a pretty mighty swing you've got there, Detective.

Are all abandoned zoos this dangerous?

Lucifer...

[BOTH KISSING, MOANING]

I'm so sorry. I thought you were Michael.

Oh, it's okay.

You can whack me anytime.

[SIGHS]

He really does care about her, doesn't he?

Yeah.

Freaking soulmates.

Good news.

Charlie's fever has subsided.

Just your normal, run-of-the-mill cold.

[BOTH SIGHING]

- Ready to see him?
- Yes.

Right this way.

Hello, brother.

Michael?

What are you doing here?

I heard that Charlie was sick, so I came to show my support.

Yeah. "Support"?

Despite our differences, we're still family, and that includes Charlie.

And I heard the doctor say it was just a normal cold.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

What do you mean "sorry", Michael? That's good news.

But, brother, you understand what that means, right?

No, what?

[SIGHS]

Honey, I'm home!

Surprised to see me?

[CHUCKLES]

No, actually, Mazikeen, you are exactly the demon I wanted to see.

In fact, you're a little earlier than I expected.

I am so tired of your bullshit games, Michael.

Tired of you messing with me and my friends. Kidnapping Chloe... that was a step too far. Now I'm going to have a little fun carving you up.

Come on.

That's a little extreme, don't you think? I mean,

I was never going to hurt Chloe.

You don't believe me? Mazikeen, I am the only one who has been honest with you.

Who told you about the ring?

All that did was show me how much my life sucks.

Which is exactly why I wanted to talk to you.

Listen, I can help you, because when I get what I want, so can you.

And we are so close, Mazikeen, so, so close to my plan finally coming together.

I just want to say how grateful I am for all of your hard work and... for never giving up on trying to find me, and, um... you know, words cannot express this enough, but... thank you.

Thank you, guys.

Thank you.

Brother! Brother, we need to talk.

Something terrible has happened with Charlie.

What, did he get worse?

No! No, he got better, but it's just...
It's just a normal cold.

[CHUCKLES] Right, well, I don't see the problem.

That's what I've been saying.

- No, listen, we really have to...
- No, I'm sorry, brother, but I'm a little busy at the moment.

The detective and I haven't yet had a chance to talk.

Can this wait?

- No! This is...
- Yes! Yes, it can. Come on.

I... [SCOFFS LIGHTLY]

Hi.

Hi.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Uh... Um...

Can we talk?

Somewhere private?

Yeah. Of course.

Here.

How's Ella doing?

She's, uh... She's as well as could be expected. She's happy that you're safe, but...

[SIGHS] Poor Ella. I feel terrible for her.

I'll check in with her later.

Detective...

I am so incredibly sorry.

For what?

For taking so long to find you, for getting you caught up in my family mess, for everything you had to endure with my psycho twin brother.

Lucifer, everybody has a weird family.

- [SCOFFS]
- I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't fun being kidnapped, but...

I knew you were out there the whole time, looking for me.

What I'm worried about now is Michael, he...

He said that this was all part of some bigger plan and...

Sh-Sh-Should we go find him?

Well, I'll deal with him later. Right now I'm just...

I'm just happy to have you back.

[BOTH SIGHING]

Well...

But from what I heard, you really didn't need me.

You caught a serial k*ller on your own?

Uh, well, Maze and Miss Lopez helped a bit but, yes, I suppose it was mostly me.

[LAUGHS]

And you, in a way.

- What?
- I channeled you, Detective.

Did some actual case work. I really was my best you.

Oh! And my best me.

By the way, my mojo's back.

Isn't that great?

- Really?
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's... That is great.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Nothing.

- Uh...
- [SCOFFS]

I just...

Do you think I can still mojo you?

Well, there's no need. I promise to tell you everything I desire, no mojo required.

That's assuming you know what you want.

Excuse me?

[INHALES]

I'm just wondering... if subconsciously you might be pushing me away, 'cause you say that you want this and... you say that you want us, but...

But do you?

Where is this coming from?

Well, if, mojo-wise, you're no longer letting me in, if, if now, you're... invulnerable all the time, doesn't that mean that you're... no longer choosing to be vulnerable with me?

I know what's happened here.

Michael got inside your head, didn't he? What did he say to you?

You know he taps into people's fears.

And, yeah, I...

- Yes, I guess part of me is afraid.
- Of what?

Um...

Afraid that you don't... feel the same way that I feel about you.

What?

And... the last thing I want to do is push you into saying something you don't want to, but I know you can't lie.

So just tell me, is that... why you haven't said it back?

Haven't said what back?

- Oh...
- [CHLOE SNIFFLES]

I... [EXHALES]

But Detective, I...

It's... It's complicated.

- [SNIFFLES] All right.
- No, I-I-I mean...

Detective, I do, of course I do.

- It's...
- Right, right.

No, Dete... Chloe.

I...

I lo...

Detective?

What?

Amenadiel!

Brother!

Could you have chosen a worse moment to slow down time?

It hasn't slowed, it's stopped!

Well, would you kindly unstop it, then, please?

Lucy, look. Just... look.

He's frozen.

Charlie. Charlie's frozen.

Yes, as is everything and everyone else, including the detective.

Exactly. Everyone but us celestials.

- Do you understand what that means?
- I...

It means Michael was right.

Charlie is... is mortal.

And?

And all of this time I thought...

I assumed he was like me, like us.

But he's not.

He's just like every other ordinary human child.

He'll get sick again, he'll feel pain, grow old, suffer!

Oh. Right, now I understand.

You stopped time to prevent all that from happening.

Well, would you deal with your parental anxieties later?

Right now I need you to hit the play button because I have a relationship to fix!

I have no idea how!

- Well...
- I didn't do anything to make this happen!

Not consciously, obviously, but this is clearly triggered by your fears, so just stop being afraid!

Easier said than done.

Amenadiel, I am impressed. [CHUCKLES]

I was hoping that you would spiral out of control, but...completely stopping time? [LAUGHS]

Way to be an overachiever!

Well, if it isn't Mr. Bigger Plans himself.

Of course you're behind this, too.

How are you and the little lovebird doing?

Hmm? Have you realized it will never work yet?

Look, I get going after me, but why bring Amenadiel into this?

What's your endgame here?

Oh, you'll just have to wait and see.

And I didn't do anything to Amenadiel.

I mean, I can't help it if he's afraid of his son's snotty nose.

Amenadiel, Michael is probably responsible for Charlie's illness.

Come on, I would never.

He's lying.

Amenadiel, what makes more sense, that I somehow gave your child a cold, or that Chucky here got sick because he's a frail, little mortal who's destined to suffer and die a horrible human death?

Amenadiel, Charlie's not going to die.

- Now who's lying?
- I meant anytime soon.

But they grow up so fast.

Don't listen to him, brother.
Don't let him get inside your head.

I'm just saying what he's already thinking.

[GROWLS] Why? Why are you doing this?

Oh, again with the blame game.

It's not my fault you impregnated one of these filthy little humans.

[LAUGHS]

I mean, look at her.

So helpless.

Just like your son.

- [ROARS]
- [WOMAN GRUNTS]

[STRAINING]

Maze.

Why are you defending him?

Because he promised me a soul.

[LAUGHS] That's impossible.

Why? Because I'm just a demon?

Exactly.

[ROARS]

Get up.

We're not done.

Why would you ever trust Michael? He's a liar!

[GRUNTING]

He's only ever been honest with me.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

You...

You hid my mother from me.

How did you...

I'm sorry, Maze, but I gave Lilith my word.

Which is apparently more important to you than I am!

- What?
- [YELLS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

I can't believe you'd use my infant son as a pawn!

I can't believe how easy it was triggering you! [GIGGLES]

I mean, way easier than turning Lucifer's friends against him.

[GROANS, LAUGHS]

[GROANS]

[MICHAEL PANTING]

[GROANS]

Mazikeen.

[OTHERS GRUNTING, SHOUTING]

[MAN] That's enough!

Dad.

Children.

You know I hate it when you fight.
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