01x04 - Chloe

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ♪

Let's go.

♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ a wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ we'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ when you jump out the bush ♪
♪ with a big bear smile ♪
♪ we'll be there ♪

[Camera beeps]

Girl: Okay, here it is. The date is june 24th. [Grunts]

I've found what I believe to be a cave.

Oh. This furniture looks handmade.

Aw, dang. Oh. There.

Nobody will notice.

Hmm. Porridge maybe. [Slurps, gags]

Yep, that's porridge.

Oh, hey, I've read that ... oh!

We were all freaked out, you know? I can't really ... [gasps]

Hey, what the...

My chair!

My porridge! Who are you? How'd you get in here?

Stay back! Aah! [Thud]

All right, all right. Turn on the light.

Okay!

Ow!

All right, we got you, you little rascal.

What are you doing in our cave?

Oh, wow. So, this is your cave?

Perfect!

Mind games, eh? I know your type.

Now tell us why you were filming in here and touching our ...

So it's true what the scientists say ... your cavities are atrocious.

Would you say that your poor dental hygiene contributes to your surly nature?

I don't know what "surly," means, but I'm gonna pretend it means "radical."

So thank you. But that wasn't the answer we need.

[Fork screeching] Wah! Oh, no!

Sorry. I can't find it.

It's too dark in here.

Maybe it's over ...

Aah!

Ohh! So bright!

How are we supposed to be cool with you I'm sorry! It was an accident! throwing our mood lighting around?

My paws are sweaty!

Hey, now. What are you writing there? Let me see.

Highly suspicious, I'd say.

Yeah, this is super-invasive.

Ice Bear has too many secrets.

It isn't invasive. Really.

I'm doing research on local bears. It's an assignment for my class.

Class for what ... kindergarten? [Laughs] Up top.

Actually, it's a college course. I skipped a couple of grades.

So the joke's on you.

Well, the proof... is in the pudding.

We got your backpack. I'm gonna mess with your stuff and get answers at the same time.

Oh-ho! What's all this?

[Muffled] I'm eating your stuff!

How's it feel? [Munches]

Whoa. Aww. Is this you?

"Chlu..."

Panda: "Cha-low-ee."

"Chloh..."

"Ch..."

Ice Bear: Ice Bear has never seen a smaller human.

[Laughs] Stop! Give me that!

And spit those out!

Gah!

You're not even eating them right.

Here you go. They're a little spicy.

[Gasps]

Oh, my gosh, you guys. These are so good!

Can ... Can we have another?

Sure!

Whoo!

Actually, I've got a couple of questions for you guys.

Would you mind if I hung around for a little bit to study your behavior?

[Singsongy voice] I'll bring you as many gummies as you want.

Deal!

[music]

[Toothbrush whirring]

Should I be doing something?

Nope. Just be normal.

♪ Hey, hey, look to the sky ♪
♪ The sun is bright ♪
♪ There's not a cloud in view ♪
♪ Not a cloud in view ♪
♪ I'm thinking we make the most of the sunshine ♪

[Clears throat]

♪ "What do you say?" Says me ♪
♪ ooh, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Don't want a push ♪
♪ push you should look ♪
♪ No gloom in these streets ♪
♪ I just saw a guy with purple hat ♪

[camera shutter clicks]

♪ And the elements will be like a care of bind ♪
♪ Yo, rain cloud, chill ♪

[Bell dings]

♪ Stay away ♪
♪ Not in the mood for your fluff, okay? ♪
♪ Come back in two weeks ♪
♪ Or two years or maybe never ♪

[customers murmuring]

♪ 'Cause I just want it bright for now, forever ♪
♪ Ahh, whoo-hoo ♪

[Bears laughing]

♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo ♪

[Thud!]

♪ Rain cloud, chill ♪
♪ Stay away for a while ♪

Hey, friend. How's it going? You need anything?

Are you almost done? When can I see?

Hang on.

Oh, yeah.

Cool, cool, cool. You got it.

Done!

All: Done!

Ice Bear believed in you.

[bears clapping]

Um, now that you're done, you wouldn't happen to have anything spicy for us, would you?

Spicy? I don't think I know what you're talking about.

But you ... you said... the thing.

Just kidding!

[Bears gasp]

I got loads! Go ahead!

[Crunches, spits]

[Chuckles] We worked so hard for this.

[Cellphone vibrates]

Oh, no! The last bus! I've got to go!

Sorry for dashing! I'll see you guys!

[Bicycle bell dings]


Well, that was fun. Now time to enjoy our spoils.

Huh? Oh, no.

Chloe's laptop ... she needs this.

Hmm.

Well... now that it's here, a little peek can't hurt.

Grizzly: Here it is ... the assignment.

Let's full-Screen. Next slide.

"Large and needy beasts of the Nor..."

Wha...

Panda: Ugh. That's a horrible photo.

Grizzly: "Powerful stench"? It's an alluring musk!

Ice Bear smells like clean babies.

Panda: We don't make people uncomfortable.

[Laughs] Cool. It's me.

Panda: Grizz, most of this stuff isn't very nice.

I mean ... What?! My diet is more balanced than that.

I mean, it's just more lies!

Ice Bear settled that out of court.

What's this? "The bear will do most anything for food."

"Anything for food"? That's just not true!

[All spit]

I don't understand. This is just such a misrepresentation.

Yeah. That's not us at all.

[Cellphone beeps]

Look at this.

"Left my laptop."

"Could you bring it by the college for me tomorrow?"

Gasping face.

Tomorrow. Huh.

[Both laugh evilly]

Oh, I'll bring it by tomorrow!

"Yes," winky, winky, winky.

This is our chance, bros, to let the people know who we really are.

Chloe won't mind if we make a couple adjustments.

Break out the sugary drinks! We have a project to write!

[Keyboard clacking]

[Bell chiming]

[Panting]

Grizzly: Chloe. Hey, psst! Hey, Chloe!

We're over here.

You guys made it!

Of course! Here's your lappy, safe and sound.

Awesome. Thank you so much.

I got to run, but I'll see you later.

Later, indeed.

[Laughs evilly]

Is there any more room down there?

[Indistinct conversations]

Teacher: All right, everyone.

We're going to start now.

Will our first presenter come forward? Chloe? Chloe?

Huh? Oh, yes. Uh ... oh, excuse me, uh...

Coming through. [Grunts]

[Clears throat]

I'd like to introduce to you all the topic of my report ... Bears!

I took the time to locate and study three bear specimens of the Northern California region and have compiled my facts on them to share with you today.

Let's start with the next slide.

Grizzly: You thought you knew about bears...

[Bear roars]

You don't!

Nothing can re-create the majesty... [all gasping] .. of a bear overlooking his realm.

[Cheers and applause]

More often than not, bears can be found saving the human race from themselves.

Bears are also the cleanest of this planet's creatures.

They bathe an astonishing three times a month!

Bears have evolutionized to be masters of all kinds of combat.

Bears have more than eight abs, with new abs being discovered every day.

Panda: Bears have lots of feelings, and that's a beautiful thing.

Ice Bear: Bears are smart. Congratulations, bear.

Grizzly: In conclusion, majestic, action, hygiene, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, Fire, magic, sensitivity, competence.

[Thunk!]

[Microphone feedback]

[Wolf-whistles]

[Clapping]

I, um ... I promise that wa... it wasn't what ...

Chloe, I think it's very apparent to me and everyone else in this classroom that you put no actual research into this project.

I really did do the research. I...

Nothing in your report was based on any scientific fact.

Why's she so angry? That was all true.

Pardon me, student.

What did you think about that abs slide? Very cool and accurate, right?

[Snickers]

[Sniffles]

I have no choice but to issue you an incomplete.

I thought you were more mature than this.

Please take your seat.

Grizzly: Wait!

[Students gasping, murmuring]

Your honor, please, we have a confession to make.

We are not actually the handsome rapscallions you see before you.

We are, in fact... bear... bea... [Grunting]

[Softly] Bears.

[All gasp]

Panda: We're Chloe's friends, and we ... excuse me ... are also ... sorry ... the ones who wrote that report.

She really did do research.

We just wanted to make it more exciting.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

We were such fools.

Ice Bear feels shame.

Student: Pardon me.

Um, now that you guys are up there, would you mind telling me whether it's true that bears have horrible dental hygiene?

I also wanted to know ... is there an evolutionary benefit for bears having such big behinds?

Are bears dogs?

Um, those are some very nice, uh, revealing questions you got there. Uh, I don't know if we...

All right, let's do this.

One, we are not dogs, "b," our butts look awesome, and "c," my dentist says my teeth are getting better.

Keep those questions coming! We're answering all of them!

[Students murmuring]

Student 2: Hey, that's pretty cool.

[Inspirational music plays]

[Cheers and applause]

That was cool, isn't it?

I know, right?

Good job in there.

Yeah, that was great.

Grizzly: Hey, Chloe, we're gonna watch this new TV show back at our place.

You want to come?

I don't know, you guys.

I have another test to study for.

Aw.

Oh.

[chuckles] Oh, all right, then.

Yay!

Also, bring more gummies!

Ice Bear will share his secrets... about other bears mostly.

Man: Wah-wah wah-wah-wah wah-wah wah-wah-wah wah-wah-wah!

[Laughter]

[Laughs]