02x14/15 - Captain Craboo

[bunniefuu]

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ♪

Let's go!

♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ A wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ Yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ Wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ We'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ When you jump out the bush ♪
♪ With a big bear hug and a smile ♪
♪ We'll be there ♪

[Alarm buzzing]

[Alarm stops]

[Yawns]

Hmm.

Panda: Aah!

Who did this?!

Who did this to Mr. Penguin?!

[Gasps]

Oh, poor thing.

Ice Bear's apron is ruined.

[Groans] Why are you guys up so early?

Someone has vandalized ... wait, what are you wearing?

I sometimes wear long pajamas.

It's not a big ... Aah! My jam-jams!

Who did this?

That's what I was ...

Ice Bear sees bigger problem.

The couch!

The curtains, too?

Ice Bear's peace lily. Now pieces lily.

What happened to our house?

Ice Bear sees trail.

Do you think there's someone in there?

Some kind of scissor handed person?

I don't know, but we got to stop this thing.

We don't have the cash to replace any more towels.

Aha! Huh? There's no one here.

Just more ruined towels.

If the culprit's not here ...

[Toilet clatters]

[Gasps]

[whispers] It's in the toilet.

Ew, gross.

Just lift off the top.

You do it.

[Groans] Fine.

Gotcha!

[Gasps]

[Gasps] Oh!

Captain Craboo?

[Eerie music plays]

[Shivers]

Okay, put the axe down, man.

Come on. There you go, buddy.

I'll just take this.

Oh, come on, he won't hurt you again, will you, Craboo?

So, what do we do with him?

We should set him free. The toilet is no place for a crab.

Ah! Seriously, Craboo?

After all we've been through together?

Well, he was never the friendliest crab.

True.

Oh, here, use this.

[Chuckles] Good thinking, bro.

Okay, Craboo, sweepy, sweepy. Now stay.

Careful, careful.

All right, man, be free.

What's his deal?

Not sure.

Go on, go on.

Wha?

Not cool, dude.

[Thunder rumbles]

Do you think he's okay out there?

[Thunder continues]

He's all wet.

And cold.

Aah! I can't take it!

Craboo! Craboo! Please don't pinch me. Please don't pinch me. Please don't pinch me. Please don't pinch me. Please don't pinch me. Please don't pinch me.

There we go.

Don't worry, bro. It's only temporary till the rainstorm's over. He's a good crab, I promise.

Ooh, did you see that? He can do tricks.

Sit. Stay.

Panda: Don't move at all.

Oh, my gosh, he's a genius.

We have a genius crab.

[Sighs] See what else he can do.

Oh, I know. Snip this, Craboo.

Oh, it's us.

Whoa! The likeness is stunning.

Oh! He's just so darn cute. We got to keep him.

Hmph. Ice Bear can cut things without crab.

Don't worry, bro. He's gonna be so great.

Panda and I are gonna train him real good.

He'll be so well behaved.

Huh?

Bad crab.

[music]

♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's me and my boo-boo ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's me and my boo ♪
♪ Hey, friend to the end ♪
♪ Haters gonna hate ♪
♪ I don't care ♪
♪ 'Cause what we have is rare ♪
♪ And I think I'm gettin' the feels ♪
♪ That's why I love you for reals ♪
♪ Hey, friend to the end ♪
♪ It's gonna be ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's me and my boo-boo ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's me and my boo ♪
♪ And every little step, we're feelin' just fine ♪
♪ Take the long way around ♪
♪ Let's take our time ♪
♪ No matter what I say ♪
♪ Boy, you're here with a smile ♪
♪ And I'll hope that you'll stay ♪
♪ Here for a while ♪
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
♪ It's me and my boo ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, my boo, my boo ♪

[Yelps]

♪ And my boo-boo-boo ♪
♪ And my boo-boo-boo ♪
♪ And my boo-boo-boo ♪
♪ And my bo-ooooh ♪
♪ And my boo-ooh-ooh and my boo and my boo and my boo ♪

[Pinchers clacking]

[Grunts]

[Knock on door]

Ah, come on, little bro.

We're taking Craboo to the pet store.

Yeah!

Panda: Ugh, Nom Nom's here?

Maybe we should just come back another time.

Nom Nom is truly the epitome of a dingle.

Come on, Pan, it's gonna be great.

Maybe we can get a picture of Nom Nom and Craboo.

Next.

[Music]

Nom Nom, can you take a pic with my dog?

[Camera clicks]

You're the best!

Next.

[Chuckles] Nom Nom, sign my cat.

[Meows]

[Laughs] Next.

Hey, Nom Nom. Remember us?

Ugh, not you three again. What do you want?

Oh, this is our pet, Captain Craboo.

Oh, gross! What is that thing?!

It's disgusting. Ugh, get that away from me.

What is wrong with you?

Get lost right now, or I'm calling security.

Ice Bear thinks time to go.

Yeah, hit the road, you oaf.

[Grunts]

Bro?

Unbelievable.

Someone get me a ...

Aah... aah... aaaah!

Someone get this thing off of me!

Aah!

[Groans]

Arrest that crab!

Oh! Craboo!

Oh!

[Cage slams]

[Tires squeal]

What just happened?

C-C-C-Craboo.

[Music]

[Indistinct conversations]

Well, I hope he's all right.

Huh?

He looks stressed.

Oh, you poor thing.

You're gonna be fine, Craboo. Hang in there.

Ice Bear misses you.

I need you to stay strong for me, Craboo.

We are gonna get you out of there soon.

But we don't have any money for a lawyer.

We don't. That's why we hired ourselves. Unh!

But we don't know anything about the law.

We don't. But you know what?

No other lawyer cares more about our Craboo than us.

Love will win us Craboo back.

Officer: All right, time's up.

Ice Bear demands one more minute.

Come on, brother.

[Gavel bangs]

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Let's begin.

Plaintiff's lawyer, you may call your first witness.

What are you wearing, man? You look ridiculous.

Every professional law person needs to wear these.

Trust me. I saw it in all these court-related movies.

Thank you, Your Honor.

I call Nom Nom, the world-famous lover of all animals, beings, and cutest animal on the Internet, to the stand.

Oh.

Poor little guy.

[Audience murmuring]

[Grunts]

[All gasp]

Hey, hey! I object, Your Honor!

Object to what?

Uh, Nom Nom is ... he's just way too cute!

It may blur your judgment, Your Honor.

If you interrupt again, I will have you removed.

[Clears throat]

I was at the pet shop when this tragedy happened.

I was there to promote this pet shampoo for free, of course.

I just love helping out pet-loving companies.

That's not true! You were disgusted by our Craboo!

What? I donate millions of dollars every year for saving crabs.

I recall those bears mentioning something about eating their pet crab. I think I was disgusted by that.

[Audience murmuring]

Lies!

Order! Order! Witness may proceed.

Thank you, Your Honor. I just wanted to protect the crab, then all of a sudden, it cut one of my fingers off!

[Audience gasps]

That's just fingernail.

They're like my fingers to me, okay?

I tried to defend myself, but I failed.

[Crying] And this is what it did to me!

[Audience murmuring]

The media should be all over this.

People have the right to know how dangerous that crab can be!

That'll be all, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want everyone to take a close look at this photo, if you don't mind.

See how cute he is.

Aww!

Cutie.

Yes! This is our cute little Craboo, and he is great.

And I have someone that can prove that fact, friends.

I call our witness, Panda, to the stand, Your Honor.

[Clears throat] So, Mr. Panda, could you please tell us how great our Cap'n was?

Objection, Your Honor!

This has nothing to do with ...

Overruled.

Uh, what does that mean?

You may proceed, witness.

Oh, so, uh, Craboo was amazing.

I would pet his shell, and the way he would hide his eyes, it was so cute.

I love it when he eats, 'cause his mouth would go like [chirping]

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

[Sobbing] I can't do this anymore.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Great.

Thank you for your sincere testimony, Mr. Panda.

Please, Your Honor!

Please don't take away our Craboo from us!

I beg you!

You see, Craboo was just our cute little pet.

No, I take that back. He was our family, and family look after one another.

Listen, Your Honor, yes, our pet made a mistake.

He pinched Nom Nom.

But let me ask you, do you have a brother, Your Honor?

I have a sister.

So, then tell me, Judge, you wouldn't knock someone out with that big hammer of yours if you saw someone harassing your sister?

It's called a gavel.

Whatever.

Taking away a bro for protecting his own family would be a gross misapplication of justice.

[Audience murmuring]

Now, I'm confident that you guys will come to a just decision and restore this crab to our family!

[Cheers and applause]

Yeah! Thank you!

Oh, look! He ... he's doing it again!

Take photos and put them online!

Aah!

[Audience gasps]

That's it!

Guilty! That crab is a danger to society!

Send him away!

No, wait! Nom Nom was just doing that on purpose!

Ice Bear will save Craboo.

Run.

[Music]

Where'd they go, huh?

Don't just stand there! Find them!

[Groans]

Good evening. This just in.

The crab that att*cked cute Internet sensation Nom Nom has just fled the scene of the courthouse earlier today.

The fugitive is still at large and wanted by police.

We are urge all Bay area citizens to keep an eye out for him.

He's red and has two big claws.

Here's a police sketch I just did. That's him right there.

And he is not a lobster.

We've arrested like eight lobsters by mistake thinking it was him.

The crab's owners, three bears, await punishment for aiding and abetting a criminal.

More after this.

[Whispers] Okay, it's clear.

Hang in there, Craboo. We're almost there.

[Sniffs]

Ice Bear smells po-po.

[Police radio chatter]

Well, it looks like we're gonna have to find another home.

But where will we go?

I don't know.

We'll just have to find a place to camp for the night.

[Hoots]

[Guitar app playing]

♪ Sooner or later ♪
♪ So well acquainted ♪
♪ See this routine here looks a bit tainted ♪
♪ But now together ♪
♪ Never apart ♪
♪ Out in this open, our dream seems so fainted ♪
♪ Maybe with patience ♪
♪ Something in between ♪
♪ Sooner or later, my friend ♪
♪ Found us out here somewhere ♪

[Grizz vocalizing]

♪ Out in these stars ♪
♪ Maybe if we're quiet ♪
♪ We'll hear all our thoughts ♪
♪ How perfect if hearts align ♪
♪ Intentions will cross ♪
♪ Sooner or later ♪
♪ This moment in question ♪
♪ Brave but uncertain ♪
♪ Us together now ♪
♪ Never apart ♪
♪ Sooner or later, my friend ♪

[Sighs]

You know, even though we're homeless, penniless, cold, dirty, villainous fugitives from justice, at least we have each other and our good little Craboo.

Panda: Guys, I've been thinking.

What if we're being selfish with Craboo?

I mean, it weren't for us, he wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.

Maybe we have been selfish.

[Sighs] Well, I guess we'll just have to figure it out in the morning.

Oh, hey, pinecones are done. Who's hungry?

[Snoring]

[Stomach grumbling]

[Groans] So hungry.

[Mumbling]

These berries don't look particularly poisonous.

[Car doors closing]

Man: Search the perimeter, Johnson.

Take a team and search the creek.

Spread out and find them.

The photo's location was tagged around here somewhere.

[Gasps]

Guys, guys, wake up!

Wha? Wha? Wha?!

What, who?

Nom Nom and the cops are here!

What?! How'd they find us?

I don't know, satellites or something.

We got to get Craboo out of here.

Hey! There you are!

I see them over here!

Run!

Hey, stop!

Bros, they're right on our tails!

[Siren wailing]

Grizz, grab my hand!

[Grunts]

That was too close.

Dispatch, this is unit 209.

We are in hot pursuit of the suspects.

I don't think we have the proper safety equipment to be here.

Aah! Go right!

That way!

[Saw blades whirring]

Uh, maybe we should go around the big saws.

Murphy, hit the brakes!

[Tires screech, crash!]

[Siren warbles]

There they go!

Okay, on three.

One, two, three.

Aah! Whoa!

Panda!

Hang on!

Sweet butter biscuits!

[Tires screech]

Whoa!

Aaaah!

These guys are crazy.

I'll go after them, sir.

[Tires squeal]

Go get 'em, son.

I think we can slow down now.

Ice Bear can't slow down.

I think we lost them. Huh?

Man, these guys just don't stop.

I can't stop!

Aah! Ooh!

I'm sure he's okay. [Chuckles nervously]

Hey, look, it's the ocean!

Great idea, Pan Pan.

That's the perfect place to take Craboo.

Freeze! That's far enough.

Hand over the fugitive.

Our Craboo's innocent!

I don't care. This is your last chance.

Guys, jump!

[Groans] Dang it!

Command, they're heading south on the Pacific Coast Highway.

Man: Code 17-F. All units be on the lookout for fugitives.

Reported heading southbound on Pacific Highway.

Aah!

It's them.

[Siren wails]

Oh, dear. What in good gravy did I do this time?

Oh, no, we're pulling over.

[Siren stops]

Hold on to Ice Bear.

What?

Good thinking. I think we lost them.

[Sirens wailing]

Oh, no.

Oh, come on.

What are we gonna do now?

Ice Bear's got this.

All right, keep your eyes on the road, watch the mirrors, check your blind spots.

[Banging]

Wha! W-What was that?!

Did I do something wrong?

Just a bump in the road.

Hello.

Aah!

Uh, sorry to bother you, but would you mind going a big faster.

Maintain the speed limit.

No, go faster!

[Sirens wailing]

Newswoman: We're following the chase live heading south on the Pacific Coast Highway.

Police are attempting to pull over a vehicle that appears to have been commandeered by three bears and a crab.

Guys, you got to see this!

Oh, no.

Okay, now go ahead and slowly pull over to the right for the police blockade.

[Sirens wailing]

[over PA] Give up the crab! You're completely surrounded.

You've got nowhere to run, bears.

You'll never take our Craboo!

Oh, yes, I will.

Craboo!

Oh, slipping. No!

[Laughs]

Say goodbye to your precious crab!

[Grunting]

Aah! Get off!

Whoa! Get ... get off! Get off me!

Aah! I'm out of here!

Stupid parachute. I'm too important to die!

[Grunts]

Come on!

Ooh! Ha!

What? No! This is my parachute.

Get your own, you stinking crab!

[Grunts]

Craboo.

Got it!

Aah!

[expl*si*n]

[Sirens wailing in distance]

They'll be here soon. We have to hurry.

[Sighs] Well, if you love something, you got to let it go, I guess.

We'll all miss you, Craboo. You were a heck of a lot of fun.

You're a good friend, Craboo. I'll never forget you.

[Grunts]

Go.

They'll be here any second.

[Grunts]

[Sirens wailing]

Secure the perimeter! I want this beach on lockdown.

All right, where's the fugitive?

He's gone.

Gone?

Female officer: Sir, I think I found something.

It looks like some kind of starfish.

[Coughing] Hey, put me down!

[Coughing]

I've had it with you bears. I demand you arrest them!

They don't have the fugitive.

The trail's gone cold. Nothing we can do.

Oh, nothing you can do? You're the police!

I demand justice!

Sir, you're being disorderly.

If you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to detain you.

Disorderly?! I'll show you disorderly.

[Grunts]

Aah! Let me out of here right now!

All right, boys, let's go.

Phew. Well, at least we just got community service.

I wonder, do you know how long it'll take to do 500 hours?

Hey, I miss him, too.

And who knows?

Maybe somewhere out there, Craboo is thinking of us.

[Wind whistles]

[Music]