03x05 - Shady Glen

[bunniefuu]

[brakes screeching]

[engine stops]

It's time.

[buzzing]

[wood breaking]

[metal clanking]

Whoa! Take it easy!

Just calm down. You're having an episode.

It's totally understandable for someone in your condition.

Don't get textbook-y on me, professor.

This is not a condition!

We're at w*r.

Yeah.

We're at w*r, so listen to me.

Amaru's out there with her slaves looking for the door to hell.

You and I have scoured this entire ranch and we've come up with nothing.

So what do you say we go pick up their trail somewhere else.

What, are you giving the orders now?

No, I'm not giving the orders.

It's a... a request.

This is one big field trip for you, isn't it?

You-you-you wannabe.

I've been to w*r! You just teach it.

Oh, that's the last straw.

[grunts]

[growls]

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Hey, stop. Stop, stop, stop.

[thudding]

[grunts]

Look at this.

[wood creaking]

Looks like a tunnel.

Wow. Figured that out all by your lonesome, huh.

[beeping]

Wait a second, I got a bad feeling about this.

Stop! Come back up. Come back up right now!

Go back to your lecture hall.

Those that can't do, teach!

[explodes]

[yells]

[grunts]

[pants]

[sighs] I guess you finally got schooled.

Man.

[panting]

What the hell?

We gotta leave.

What happened?

She found me.

I found him. I found Richard Gecko.

What? No, no. Dakota, Richie's dead.

No, that's what he wants you to think, but I found him.

I found him and I sh*t him.

OK, OK.

Come on.

What the hell were you thinking?

I had it all worked out.

I was gonna sh**t him and make it look like he mugged me.

So, what happened?

I blasted him with my father's shotgun and he got away. Don't ask me how.

I don't know who you think you sh*t, but I saw the Geckos, both of them, with my own eyes, burnt to a crisp.

I told you that they could've easily faked that.

I have studied my father's files.

I am a g*dd*mn expert at them.

Richard is some off-the-scale brainiac.

You're a f*cking idiot.

How can you be worried about getting laid at a time like this?

She is a doctor. She was gonna help me get control.

Control of what?

It doesn't matter! The point is, she found my bar.

She might've staked out this place, too.

She's probably on her way over here with her daddy's cop friends.

Or the Ranger that daddy trained. I guess it didn't occur to you.

There anything else you wanna f*ck up before the day is over?

We got a problem.

You're supposed to be on watch.

Look outside. Out west. You can't miss it.

[buzzing]

Oh, sh*t.

That is biblical.

I checked with all the local hospitals, no one has seen him.

Maybe he's gone to some underground doctor.

Yeah, it's possible.

Oh... son of a mother...

Ow!

[groans]

[engine revving]

Are you even listening to me?

Look, I'll handle it, Dakota.

I'm not just gonna walk away from this.

So why don't you call the task force? I could help.

You need to go somewhere safe. Hide out for a few days.

I am not afraid of him.

Why are you fighting me on this?

OK.

You say you sh*t Richie.

What's to say he doesn't come back and try to sh**t you?

Go to a friend's house, some place he won't be able to find you.

Ferdinand, that is not the way my father raised me.

I cannot turn my back on this.

He raised me, too. Remember?

Look... if anything were to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I got this.

[door closes]

[buzzing]

Come on, you two. Wash up for dinner.

[buzzing]

Move it!

Go, go, go, go. Inside, inside!

[buzzing]

[woman] Come on, honey!

[man] Open the door!

[whirring]

[Brasa] They've landed.

This is where it begins.

It's perfect.

[metal clanking]

[phone rings]

[beep]

Yes, peanut?

I don't know where the remote is.

Daddy'll be home soon.

Love you.

[splashing]

[water drops pattering]

What the hell?

[theme music playing]

[Richie] Best I can tell, this is where the swarm of locusts landed.

You really think she's behind all this?

I don't know what else it could be.

Richard?

Sure as hell feels like it.

Scott, go check the backyards.

Let's see if we can figure out where these things went.

What?

He's gonna wanna know about this.

Oh, my God. Will you forget the Ranger, please?

We got enough going on without you adding a layer of bullshit.

There's already another layer, brother.

Amaru's only ever gone after culebras and us.

These are civilians.

She's changing the game.

[slurping]

I don't think the bugs are out there anymore.

Sit down, let's eat.

What makes insects act like that?

Sometimes locusts work themselves into a frenzy.

Just ask the ancient Egyptians.

[chuckles]

[groans]

Mom, you OK?

I just have weird ache in my back.

Hon, sit down for dinner. There's plenty of lemonade.

[cracking]

Mom?

Offer yourself up to me.

Honey?

For in your tender flesh...

I will find enlightenment.

[growling]

Jesus! Get off!

[snarls]

Oh, my God!

No!

[screaming]

Leave me alone!

[whimpering]

[g*nsh*t]

Reuben!

[snarling]

I'm trying to help!

What's happening?

What's wrong with my mom? Why's she trying to eat my dad?

OK. OK, buddy, take it easy.

sh**ting the place up isn't gonna do any good.

So why don't you just take a deep breath, OK?

Give me the...

Dad!

Gotta be strong, OK?

Sit down!

Just... sit.

OK? f*ck.

How is he?

He lost a lot of blood.

What about her?

Big bugs and not even a mosquito bite.

His soul brought me enlightenment.

Think he was doing the neighbor?

[man] Hey, assh*le, don't come into my house accusing...

Just chill. Chill out!

OK, buddy. Just tell me what happened.

She tried to eat him. She tried to f*cking eat my dad!

You guys from the government or something?

Like men in...

They're not.

Texas Ranger Freddie Gonzalez.

They're with me.

[water splashing]

[flapping]

[chittering]

f*ck!

You're witnessing history, son.

What? What the hell are you doing here?

Weren't you with that... that Burt guy?

We lost him.

You what?

He's gone now, kid.

[buzzing]

Don't move.

What?! Get 'em off me!

Don't move. Don't move.

[grunts]

You hurt?

No.

What the hell was that?

f*ckers must not be hungry.

Scorpion?

No, this here's a supernatural vinegaroon.

Except these f*ckers can fly.

It's a Xibalban myot.

[chittering]

Why is that history?

Why is it history?

Because there hasn't been an infestation of this magnitude since the last Xibalban w*r.

Entire villages lost their food supplies.

And they had to come up with other means to feed.

By other means...

Offer your flesh to me, trespassers.

Oh, don't let him bite you.

Why? Is this guy one of us?

Not quite.

What the hell is he?

I'm dating myself here, but he's a not so fine, not so young cannibal...

[yelling]

Get off of me!

[screaming]

f*ck.

No! Put it away.

He's still a civilian.

She's a civilian.

Thanks for clearing that up.

She is off limits!

How many times do I have to tell you? I didn't find her!

She found me!

Hey!

Setting aside the sheer stupidity of getting any civilian involved on any level, much less her, yes, I see your point, Ranger.

But you're not exactly being fair and equitable here, either, are you?

So how about, just for a b*at, we agree to disagree? OK?

Seeing as how we all happen to be standing at 3333 Cannibal-f*cking-Lane!

Agreed.

We got bigger fish to fry.

[engine revving]

Which is why we're not doing this alone.

Back up.

Gentlemen, count your blessings.

From what we gathered on the way in, the nearest cell tower has been eradicated.

So communication is limited.

Word will get out, but we can control it in the short term.

Fantastic. So you got this. We're done.

No, Mr. Gecko.

We can contain it.

We'll fashion a story for the public, but it's up to you and your team to end it.

Wait a second, my team?

We told you there would be challenges.

Challenges?

How the f*ck can you stand there and ice queen this sh*t?

Your boss specifically told us this was supposed to be a nice little w*r between old enemies, right?

Since when did normal, everyday citizens become targets?

You think there are rules, Mr. Gecko?

If there are, Amaru is not following them.

This is our first taste of what the world would be like when she finally takes over.

[screaming]

[sighs]

f*ck me.

[growling]

[screaming]

[snarling]

[glass breaking]

"Just a minute," replied Momma Bear.

[door slamming open]

It's OK. It's OK.

Who the hell are you?

We are from the C...

FBI.

And...

Joint Task Force.

We're just canvassing the neighborhood.

Have you or your son had any kind of a fever of any kind?

Or any bites?

Is this about the bugs?

I brought him inside as soon as I saw them fly over.

OK... Everything looks good in here.

So we're just gonna...

Yeah. You have a good night.

Doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, what's that?

At least one person at every house turned into a flesh eater but not here.

Well, let's chalk it up to the winner's column.

Still got this place.

That's Rodney's house. I wouldn't worry about him.

He's one of those wacko end-of-the-world types.

Well, then, he's a step ahead of us.

I say we skip him.

Smart move.

Even a step on his property, he'll nail you with his crossbow.

[chiming]

Our girl has a strange fixation on those two.

She hasn't resurfaced?

No.

I have control of her now.

Now this Richie, he's dangerous.

I felt it when he touched me.

Give me the word.

I'll destroy him.

Not yet.

He might prove useful.

When the door opens I'll have time to test him.

You?

I... didn't mean to overstep.

Oh, I know you have ambitions of your own, Brasa.

I never said any such thing.

I know.

That's what concerns me.

My only ambition... has ever been to see you rise, my queen.

Well, I'll try to remember that.

Is it !sis? Are we under att*ck?

I told you the Zika virus would spread.

My cell phone won't work.

You think that's bad?

Little f*ckers ate my entire crop of heirlooms.

All right, everybody, everybody. Calm down, please.

We have several confirmed individuals who have inadvertently consumed bath salts.

How can one inadvertently take bath salts?

At this point we don't know.

But anyone can be affected, so, if you see something, don't approach anybody on your own.

Does it affect children?

We don't know at this point.

I tried calling my precinct, but the damn bugs destroyed my antenna.

Well, I called for back up as soon as I entered the vicinity.

What I need you guys to do, just go home, stay inside, and I'll keep you informed if something comes up.

What about my cell phone?

You have got to be kidding me.

[murmuring]

You can't just leave.

[policeman] Sir. What are we supposed to do?

You bastard.

Excuse me, officer.

Someone was bound to call 9-1-1.

Their ours.

It's any easy way to feed, but today they're here to help.

Culebras helping humans. Never thought I'd see the day.

You'd be surprised what we're capable of.

We're fighting a bigger enemy now.

Can't help but think, what if this were Margaret and Billy's neighborhood?

Your daughter is safe because you're here with us.

Something wrong, Ranger?

Seen a lot of crazy sh*t in this world.

This here, you and me having a civil conversation like...

Like I said, Ranger, you'd be surprised.

Who the hell called an ambulance?

Don't worry about it...

[policeman] Hands up!

Hands up! Turn around.

Dakota.

Oh, what?

It's not what I think?

It's not.

Dr. Block, we got a lot of sick people here...

Why don't you shut your g*dd*mn mouth.

The only sicko here is you.

You k*lled my father.

Now I'm gonna get some justice.

Mr. Gecko, keep your hands where I can see them.

Sir, I'm gonna ask you as a fellow law enforcement officer, please lower your w*apon.

Afraid I can't do that.

Dakota, you sh*t me point blank.

Aren't you wondering how I'm still walking around?

I'm here to finish the job.

This is between you and me, not Freddie, not this guy.

So I want you to keep your eyes on me, OK?

Don't...

I gotta do this, Ranger.

You watching?

Dakota, whatever you do, don't freak out.

[hissing]

[panting]

[screaming]

Told you not to freak out.

You know, my father told me there was a darkness in this world, but...

I had no idea that's what he meant.

[snorts]

Yeah, I think he knew more than he let on.

[thud]

You know, it doesn't change the fact that you're still working with them.

Don't you think it kills me every single day?

I had no choice, and neither do you.

There's something bigger going on here.

Bigger than me, bigger than you.

Bigger than even your dad.

You know, I never told you, but... what you said at his service was really nice.

If I was still talking to him I would've said something, too.

You know good and well he loved you.

Yeah, it's just... so hard to look back.

None of this makes any sense. None of it.

These people are sick, and we don't know why, but they need a doctor.

Don't do it for me, or the Geckos.

Do it for him.

You're supposed to be the answer man, professor, are you not?

We observed the insects and then they disappeared down a pool drain.

And?

And that's as far as I've gotten in my investigation.

Well, that's very extensive, but we can't keep shoving people in a garage hoping this whole thing is gonna change.

Obviously. But this is science, Mr. Gecko, not one of your heists.

Research takes time.

Yeah, and ask him to tell you how science k*lled Burt.

What?

What did you do?

I did nothing.

It was all him.

You know what, I don't wanna hear it.

The only thing I wanna hear outta you are some f*ckin' facts.

Working on it.

[on television] And now, to the situation unfolding in Shady Glen.

Authorities are calling it a bath salts scare, and we're moving there now to get you the full story at 11:00.

[television droning]

Hey, it's Reuben, right?

[grunts]

What's the deal with the lemonade?

Mom makes it every night.

Just lemons, sugar and water.

You can have some. Just know it's, like, diabetes sweet.

Is she the only one that drank it?

Yeah, she always tastes it before she pours it, but we never got to that.

Lemons, sugar... water.

Thanks. Hey, Freddie.

Treatment plant's here, just on the other side of this house.

Dedicated water supply. That's why Shady Glen has been feeling it first.

That doesn't mean it won't spread.

My men just locked down three more houses.

OK, so we spread the word, then.

No water out of the tap.

That explains the whole pool drain thing.

We're dealing with water-adapted Xibalban...

You know what, kid? We gotta get my books outta my bike.

Dude, I'm not gonna be your research monkey.

I'm here to slice some cannibals.

Hey.

Those people have families. It's not a f*ckin' video game.

Yeah, they eat these people to survive.

Yeah, and I'm not...

He's right.

This is why this lifestyle suits you so perfect.

So you can justify all your kills.

Oh, like you tried to k*ll me?

Yes, I did! Because you're...

Your team, Mr. Gecko.

Yes, you are!

You're the one...

Whoa, whoa!

[yelling]

You know what...

God...

Next one that pipes up gets a stake through the heart.

Reptile, regular jackass, I don't really give a sh*t. Got it?

Fantastic. Kid, you're with the professor.

We have plenty of time to swing your swords once we figure out what Amaru's up to, OK?

And if you two ladies can keep your panties unbunched you're on your way to the water treatment plant to shut it down.

Everybody else, including Ximena and her team is going house to house.

So beer and juice boxes tonight, ladies. Nothin' out of the tap.

Dr. Block, I'll hold down this fort with you.

You'll be OK.

[sighs]

If you think I'm gonna work alongside a Gecko, then you have completely lost touch with reality.

Look around. Reality went out the window a long time ago.

OK? Relax, I said we'd hold the fort down.

That doesn't mean we have to talk to each other.

[door slams]

[murmuring]

[metal clanking]

[grunting]

All clear down there.

I'll take another look.

I just told you, all clear.

Oh, for f*ck's sake.

She seduced me.

She seduced me, and then she sh*t me.

I'm not the one being a little bitch about it.

You know, sometimes I forget what you are.

You wanna know what I am?

Part of a culture that you're sworn to protect, Peacekeeper.

And guess what? We can't have her running her mouth about us to anyone.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Now, normally, I would just feed on her, but since I know you guys grew up together I'll do the humane thing...

I'll just turn her.

[grunts]

Dakota...

I told you to get away from me.

[yelling]

[panting]

[gasping]

[grunts]

You gotta let that sh*t go, man.

[gasping]

[wood breaking]

[screaming]

Get off! Get off!

[panting]

You OK?

The Cipactli, it's an ancient sea monster.

You see all these little festering pustules and little craters all over it's belly?

That right there's a veritable shantytown for those little scarabs from hell.

They live inside the thing.

Professor, I don't really care about that right now.

My brother is one of them. How do we stop it?

We find it.

Back in the day, this guy would park himself in a river next to a village and he would contaminate the water supply till all the villagers went batshit cannibal.

Based on what we know about this water treatment facility...

[door slams]

Any of you morons bother to check underground?

Yeah, I was... [snorts]

I was getting to that. But what are you doing alive, man?

Last time I saw you, you blew yourself up.

I gotta give you a point for that one, mister.

Yeah, thanks a mil.

How'd you find us?

This thing has already started to hit the local news.

Wonderful. So great to have you back.

k*ll the messenger, nice. Look... we wanna get this thing, we gotta move fast, before it completes it's task.

What task you talkin' about?

All this poisoning of the water is just a test.

The Cipactli only sees one thing, the pure of heart.

The pure of heart? That's not a thing.

Anyone who can resist the urge to consume flesh after drinking the water, that's the winning ticket.

OK.

So we gotta spread out and find somebody who drank the water and wasn't infected.

I'm gonna need you to play ball, Ranger.

Everything OK, ma'am?

As good as can be expected.

[gasping]

Come here. Come here.

[gasping]

Such a lovely little boy.

We're too late.

Wait! You shouldn't go alone.

Let me gather the rest of my guards.

They've got a head start.

Why do you always do that?

Not everything is an impulse.

Some things are.

Ah, crap on a cr*cker.

I meant to bring the harpoon g*n.

Ah! Another genius move from the alleged expert.

If it weren't for me you'd still be running around upstairs like a decapitated chicken.

Yeah, well, I'm not the one that brought a stick to a harpoon fight.

[mocking]

[water pattering]

Holy f*ck!

Shh!

We're close.

[rumbling]

Guys!

Whoa!

There it is.

Totally p*ssy.

[g*nshots]

[brakes screeching]

[keys jingling]

No! Run!

[wood breaking]

Don't just stand there. Do something!

Guys!

Clean sh*t.

No! No, no. You'll hit the kid.

[roaring]

[screeching]

I think that fire just pissed him off.

Well, we sure as sh*t ain't here to make friends.

[snarling]

That is one ugly Chipotle.

[grunting]

[yelling]

[howling]

Aim high. This ends now.

[screeching]

[gasping]

[panting]

[panting]

Oh, man!

Take one more step and her soul is mine.

Get him out of here!

[grunts]

[engine starts]

[tires screeching]

[gasping]

What happened?

Aside from you trying to k*ll me, not much.

[sighs]

Well, I... I guess I owe you a thank you for... you know, not k*lling me.

You know, reality may have changed a long time ago, Mr. Gecko, but not enough.

My father is still dead.

One day, you and your psychotic brother are gonna pay for it.

f*ck.

[coughs]