05x21 - Ua Helele'i Ka Hoku (Fallen Star)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Hawaii Five-0". Aired: September 2010 to April 2020.*
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"Hawaii Five-0" is a remake of the original 1968 television series, in which Steve McGarrett returns home to Oahu, in order to find his father's k*ller. The governor offers him the chance to run his own task force (Five-0).
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05x21 - Ua Helele'i Ka Hoku (Fallen Star)

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Hawaii Five-O...

Steve: What was in the safe?

$3 million worth of loose diamonds.

Our thief's name is Radomir lvanovich.

He's former Serbian Special Forces.

He repurposed his skills to become a high-end jewel thief.

We know about the deal you had in place to fence those diamonds.

Guys like lvanovich, they don't die easily.

(g*nsh*t)

You're arresting me?

Reyes took Danny Williams's brother.

I borrowed that money to help pay for that ransom.

No matter how it was used, that's still a crime.

Your friend k*lled a man, and you aided and abetted.

This is gonna cost you in ways that you could not possibly predict.

I gave Chin that money to move me out of general pop.

And you'll testify to that?

Absolutely.

How does minimum security sound?

I want that in writing.

(sighs)

(grunting)

Kono: He k*lled Coughlin and then he escaped.

Without Coughlin or Gabriel's testimony, there's no case against you.

You're welcome.

Steve: You're telling me that Clay, your best friend, guy you've known for 25 years, pushed his wife off this cliff?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

LeAnn Stockwell... one you've been having an affair with for over a year.

She told me you wanted to leave your wife and be with her.

You can't prove it.

I'm gonna spend the night on a plane back to Chicago, and I'm gonna talk to LeAnn in person.

Then I'm gonna search your house.

I'm gonna talk to everybody you know.

I'm gonna use all of that to lock your ass up.

(lively music playing)

(crowd cheering)

(whooping)

♪ ♪
♪ Lord Almighty ♪
♪ I feel my temperature rising, mm ♪
♪ Higher and higher, it's burning through to my soul ♪
♪ Mm ♪
♪ Girl, girl, girl, girl... ♪

Listen to that crowd.

He's crushing it.

I certainly agree.

It takes serious sartorius muscles to pull off pelvic gyrations like that.

♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause your kisses lift me higher... ♪

Wow, this guy's got it all.

Vocals, stage presence... and the most important quality when it comes to impersonating Elvis: swagger.

Max: The judges seem to agree with you.

♪ I feel my temperature rising... ♪

You know, Elvis actually opened his '73 "Aloha from Hawaii" concert with "See, See Rider," but I get why Collins went with "Burning Love"-- it shows off his vocal range.

♪ Burning, burning ♪
♪ Burning... ♪

(mumbles): Whew! Nothing to cool me.

(Collins exhales)

♪ I just might turn to smoke ♪
♪ But I feel fine... ♪

Ooh. That went south fast.

(music stops)

Max: He doesn't look well.

Max, what's going on?

Something's wrong.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

(people gasping, screaming)

(Hawaii Five-O theme song plays)

♪ Hawaii Five-O 5x21 ♪
Ua helele'i ka hoku
(Fallen Star)

♪ ♪

(horn honks twice)

Steve: How was Chicago?

Frigid.

And not just the weather.

Clay's girlfriend wouldn't talk, huh?

Nope.

And neither would all my friends at the Chicago PD.

As far they're all concerned, Diane's death was an accident and I'm just a guy who's accusing an innocent widower of k*lling his wife.

(sighs)

I'm sorry, Lou.

Yeah, so am I.

These are guys I worked with side by side for years, man, and now they're all treating me like I'm...

(chuckles): Internal Affairs.

Old code of silence.

Only this time, it's me on the outside looking in.

Clay must have circled the wagons when he was released from custody, convinced his people back home not to talk.

Yeah.

He might have them fooled, but sooner or later...

I'm gonna lock him up for what he did.

Anything you need from me, you let me know.

Thank you, man, I will.

(sighs)

Well, look... on a positive note, the trip was not a total bust.

I did manage to score myself six deep-dish pies from Malnati's.

Renee and the kids are about to welcome me home a hero.

I'm sorry, did you say that you just flew ten hours straight with a bunch of pizzas in your suitcase?

Is that what you said?

You're damn right.

Mm.

And today is your lucky day, because as a result of this unexpected, pleasant little pick-me-up at the airport, I'm gonna cut you in on a slice.

Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm kind of a thin-crust guy myself, but thank you all the same.

(phone ringing)

Okay.

Hey, Max. What's up?

The King is dead... again.

Come on, man, somebody had to say it.

All right, Max, tell us exactly what happened.

Well, a few months ago, Jerry invited me to attend the convention with him.

He already had his Elvis costume, so I decided to go as Presley's longtime manager, Colonel Tom Parker.

Can you skip ahead to the part where this guy d*ed?

Oh. Of course.

Well, Mr. Collins was in the middle of a rousing rendition of "Burning Love" when he suddenly got disoriented and collapsed.

I was brought back here and found him unresponsive, and, despite my best efforts, I was unable to resuscitate him.

Steve: All right, well, we got pills, we got liquor.

We'll see what toxicology says, but I'm thinking this guy partied too hard and paid the price for it.

Looks like classic rock and roll death to me.

Except the pills are a commonly prescribed allergy medication, and he didn't ingest enough alcohol to warrant such an adverse reaction.

If there's a point, please get to it-- I got a bunch of pizzas in my suitcase, and they need to be eaten.

The point is: this was not an accident.

Upper airway irritation, flushed skin, purplish- tinged blood, and a faint almond aroma around the victim's mouth.

All signs lead to one possible C.O.D.: cyanide toxicity.

So he was poisoned?

Correct.

And since cyanide takes effect within 20 minutes of consumption, Mr. Collins ingested the poison right before he got on stage.

Behold... the smoking g*n.

Commander, would you kindly inspect the cork?

What is that, a needle mark?

That is correct.

Somebody injected the bottle with cyanide, then cleverly reapplied the wax-tipped top to disguise any signs of tampering.

Mr. Collins was m*rder*d in front of 10,000 people.

Well, obviously, one of them wasn't a fan.

Hey, this is Lieutenant Kelly.

We're gonna need HPD support at our crime scene for crowd control.

Okay. Thanks.

♪ ♪

Kono: That doesn't make any sense,

'cause he's a fugitive and a cop k*ller.

If he was smart, he would be long gone by now.

Well, getting off the island takes resources and connections-- two things that Gabriel's in short supply of right now.

Or maybe you're the reason why he's sticking around.

You don't have to worry about me, Kono.

Yeah, I do, because Gabriel blames you for what happened to Malia.

And we both know what he's capable of.

Now he's tipped his hand.

Next time he shows, I'll be ready for him.

♪ ♪

Jerry: It wasn't just the "Aloha" concert.

Elvis flat-out loved Hawaii-- he sh*t three movies here, he had an estate up in Pupukea, and he even performed for the troops at the USS Arizona benefit in '61.

That's fascinating.

Hey. Welcome to the, uh, freak show.

We got 17 Elvises, all of them potential suspects or witnesses.

Actually, the correct terminology is "Elvii."

But you can also call them ETAs.

Elvis Tribute Artists.

Chin: I recall you doing a little tribute of your own back in the tenth grade.

If I remember correctly, your rendition of "Love Me" brought the house down.

Look, suit still fits.

Oh, no, this is, like, my sixth one.

But I'm just here as a spectator today.

Sweet shag.

Five-inch pile.

Although the color's a little off.

The real Jungle Room at Graceland's more of a hunter green.

What's a Jungle Room, exactly?

Elvis designed it to be his man cave.

Later, it was turned into a studio where he recorded parts of his last two albums.

You can actually hear the waterfall on a few of the tracks.

That's amazing-- the amount of useless trivia that you've managed to obtain over the years just really blows my mind.

Hey, when it comes to the King, nothing's trivial.

Steve: All right, guys, here's what we know.

Uh, victim's name was Lane Collins.

He d*ed from cyanide poisoning-- delivery system was a bottle of bourbon found in his dressing room.

Grover: The organizers say the access to the backstage is pretty limited-- the only people allowed back there are the crew and the performers.

Kono: Okay, so what are we thinking?

One of these guys slips him the bottle, figures he'd thin out the competition?

Jerry: Makes sense.

Collins was a big up-and-comer on the scene.

He's also a local boy, which made him the favorite to take down the title tonight.

Any prize money come with that?

$20K in cash.

But I got to tell you guys, my conspiracy radar's picking up some bad juju on this one.

Seriously. Up until the point when he collapsed and d*ed, Collins' performance was spot-on.

At least that's what I thought.

Later, when I went to the video, I realized he made one ginormous mistake.

Check out the jumpsuit.

It's a classic sunset design, only the color scheme is more from Elvis's American Eagle suit.

Blue and red instead of yellow and copper.

So what?

So that's like Superman flying around in a purple cape.

It's unnatural.

It's unholy, even.

Elvis never wore anything like this.

Oh. All right, I get it.

So our victim was not Elvis.

Jerry: No, but he was a professional ETA.

And considering the points awarded for wardrobe, it seems a little odd that he'd make such an unforced error.

Danny: Yeah, totally.

Um, you know, to have a conspiracy theory, you actually need a theory though.

I admit, it's a work in progress.

Okay, uh, Jerry, thank you.

We will, uh, explore the costume angle a little later on, but I think right now we should focus on our suspect pool.

We find out who gave the Vic that bottle, we find our k*ller-- so let's all split up and find an Elvis.

Yeah, should be interesting.

Man: Poison?

That ain't my style.

I want to k*ll someone, I use my bare hands!

You know Elvis was a black belt in karate, right?

Yeah, I think...

I think I heard that.

Man: Why would I want Lane dead?

It's not like I got a sh*t at winning this thing-- look at me.

Young man's game, huh?

I'm a 71-year-old Elvis with a double knee replacement.

But I still got my share of sideburn chasers.

Sideburn chasers?

Yeah, chicks, man.

My groupies.

(women giggling, horn toots)

My knees don't work too well, but the rest of me still does.

Woman: To be honest, the whole competitive thing doesn't really interest me.

I'm all about challenging perceptions.

Like, why does Elvis... even have to be a man?

I don't know.

That's a... that's a very good point, but you're not answering my question.

Were you or were you not in Lane Collins' dressing room prior to his performance?

No. I wasn't in his dressing room.

(quietly): But I can find out who was.

Oh, yeah?

Just give me one of them badges, and I can cr*ck the case.

Nixon deputized Elvis, you know.

Made him a federal narcotics... agent.

You don't say.

Sure, I was in Lane's dressing room-- I stopped by to wish him good luck and offer him a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

I always pack a few extra, 'cause I'm hypoglycemic.

Did you offer him a drink with that, maybe some bourbon?

(laughs): No. That's funny.

Lane had actually gotten one as a gift.

He was cracking it open when I came in.

He did offer me a sh*t, but I said no-- 16 months sober.

You have no idea how lucky you are; that bottle was poisoned.

If that had been vodka, I'd be dead right now.

Lane never really talked about his personal life.

In this business, you kind of learn to check your identity at the front door.

But the rumors started to flow, and eventually, we all learned about his background.

What background is that?

Lane: ♪ She's everything that you wanted ♪
♪ You can't pretend anymore 'cause you found it... ♪

Chin: So, Lane Collins was the lead singer in a band called Freelance Riot.

This song was all over the radio for a few months back in 2006.

These guys were hyped as the biggest musical act to come out of Hawaii since Jack Johnson.

Uh-huh. I guess it didn't work out.

I never heard of them.

Well, they released a couple of albums that went nowhere.

Finally called it quits a few months ago.

Only thing, they're breakup wasn't quite mutual.

When the news broke, the guitar player, Kaleo Fisher, firebombed the lnternet.

Check out some of these messages.

Grover: At Lane Collins.

"Still dislodging the Kn*fe from my back.

Thanks for throwing it all the way, dude."

Hashtag "choke on puke and die."

Yeah, and according to Chubby Elvis, Lane told him that the bottle was a gift from an old friend.

Where do we find this guy?

♪ ♪
♪ Waited so long ♪
♪ Waited so long ♪
♪ I've got ♪
♪ Two tickets to paradise ♪
♪ Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight ♪
♪ I've got two tickets... ♪

Far cry from selling out the Blaisdell.

Playing this crowd every night would make a guy homicidal.

(phone ringing)

Danny, what's up?

It, uh, pains me to say it, but Jerry might have been onto something with his whole jumpsuit theory.

How's that?

We dumped our victim's phone.

Turns out he made six phone calls to a local costume shop.

What's up, guys?

Uh, anyway, he obviously knew there was something wrong, and he was trying to figure out why he got the wrong jumpsuit, I'm guessing.

Well, you see, buddy?

There is a method to Jerry's madness.

Well, whoever's at that shop might have been the last person our victim spoke to, so I'm gonna head over there now.

All right, keep me posted.

♪ I got two tickets ♪
♪ To paradise ♪
♪ I've got ♪
♪ Two tickets to paradise. ♪

(one person clapping)

Mahalo.

Kaleo Fisher.

Why don't you take five.

Kaleo: So crazy.

I can't believe Lane's gone.

Really?

'Cause I believe your exact words to him were: "Choke on puke and die."

Come on, I was just venting.

Turns out, social media isn't the best place to express yourself when you're drunk and bitter.

Yeah. So now you're gonna tell us how much you loved the guy, right?

No. I hated him.

I poured my life into that band, and he took it all away.

I mean, look around.

I'm singing cover songs to tourists.

This gig sucks.

But as much as I blame Lane, he was also my only ticket out of here.

I'd been talking to some booking agents about getting Freelance back on the road, but... everyone knows-- without a front man, there's no band.

Steve: So was Lane on board for this big reunion tour?

I went to see him a couple days ago to sell him on the idea, and... he told me he loved me like a brother, that he'd always be proud of what we accomplished, but as far as he was concerned, those days were behind him.

Grover: So he sh**t you down, and then a scant 48 hours later, he just drinks some poison and drops dead.

Steve: You know what's funny, the bottle of Hartigan that k*lled him, according to witnesses, Lane said it was given to him by an old friend.

Wait.

Hartigan?

That's what he was drinking?

That's right.

I didn't give him that bottle... but I know who did.

Lane (over speakers): ♪ She'll make a scene ♪
♪ And the next thing, she'll be gone... ♪

(rock music continues)

Can you at least tell me what I'm doing here?

Steve: Shh. It's coming up.

Listen.

♪ I turn around and you're gone ♪
♪ Playing love songs for strangers ♪
♪ And breaking hearts again... ♪

(music stops) Right there, that last line.

Mm.

You hear that?

It's kind of hard to make out what he's saying though.

Grover: Well, it'd be helpful if we could talk to the original lead singer, but, well... he's dead.

Right.

But Miss Miller here, she's a huge fan.

I mean, you must've heard this song a thousand times.

Can you help us out?

The lyric is: ♪ Playing love songs to strangers ♪
♪ And drinking Hartigan. ♪

It sounds like that, doesn't it?

But it's not it. According to the guy who cowrote the song, it's actually: "Breaking hearts again."

(laughs): Breaking hearts again?

Uh... no.

You're wrong.

(song resumes playing)

♪ I turn around and you're gone ♪
♪ Playing love songs for strangers ♪
♪ And breaking hearts again... ♪
♪ ♪

(music stops)

Yeah, see, uh...

Kaleo said the band used to have a good laugh when you'd show up to gigs with a bottle of Hartigan.

Lane didn't have the heart to tell you that you got the words wrong.

And nobody's ever heard of a rock star turning down a free bottle of hooch.

Steve: I'm pretty sure that Lane knew you were obsessed with him.

It's just too bad that he didn't know how certifiably crazy you are.

HPD found wax on your stovetop in your apartment.

Same type of wax that's used to seal the tops of old Hartigan bourbon bottles.

And you forgot to clear your history on your Web browser.

"How to k*ll someone with poison."

"Where to buy cyanide."

He's the one that should be embarrassed.

(laughs): I mean, come on.

Dressing up like that, shaking his hips.

That's why you k*lled him?

'Cause he disappointed you?

Nope.

No, I k*lled him to protect him from himself.

To protect his legacy.

Because now people will remember him for what he really was.

What is that?

A legend, like Morrison, like Cobain...

Okay, let's not get carried away, all right?

(door buzzes)

Whew, you're crazy.

He's a legend.

So, I mean, how's the irony completely lost on this woman?

The inspiration for k*lling her idol is the song she got the words wrong to.

Well, what'd you expect?

The girl's 118 pounds of crazy.

(phone ringing) But now that she's confessed, I can finally get those pizzas home-- time to get my deep dish on, baby.

Yeah, Danny, what's up?

Danny: I'm over at the costume shop.

Oh, no, you can stand down.

We just got a confession.

Case is closed.

No, no, we, uh, we caught another case.

Uh, shop owner's been sh*t dead.

Uh, place has been tossed.

Somebody's looking for something, and I'm not sure that they found what they were looking for.

Wait a minute. What?

Danny: It's got to be about Lane's costume.

This is Dr. Max Bergman, performing the autopsy on Lane Collins.

The victim's 39 and appears to be dressed in...

(two g*nshots in distance)

Woman: 911. What's your emergency?

Down on the ground!

Do it now!

He so much as blinks, sh**t him.

(indistinct police radio chatter)

(siren whoops)

(tires screech)

There were three of them, all of them in masks.

I keep thinking maybe there was something I could have done.

All right, Max, you can't blame yourself for this.

It's unsettling when a cadaver goes missing.

(phone ringing) I don't think the body's what they were interested in.

McGarrett.

Yeah.

We'll be right there.

Three blocks from the M.E.'s office.

Didn't take them long to strip that jumpsuit.

Grover: Wow.

Yeah, listen, uh... explain this to me, would you?

You're a smart a guy.

I get the costume switcheroo and all that--

I've had the same thing happen to me at the dry cleaners-- but normally, when I get somebody else's pants, they don't go on a violent k*lling spree to get them back.

Check this out.

Why, they must have... fallen off the jumpsuit.

(camera clicks)

Except this one... is a real diamond.

Now, how could you possibly know that?

Because generally, fake diamonds don't have serial numbers.

Kono: You guys are gonna love this.

Remember this mug?

Steve: Radomir lvanovich.

Knocked over a jewelry store for a bunch of diamonds.

Exactly. And according to the serial number you found on that diamond, it was from that heist.

It turns out that before he was k*lled, he actually stashed that loot somewhere, and HPD's been trying to recover it ever since.

And damn if it didn't just turn up in the most unexpected place.

Well... we got us some pretty creative diamond smugglers.

All right, the convention ends tomorrow, right?

Which means all these Elvises...

Elvii.

Excuse me?

The plural of Elvis is "Elvii."

Jerry told me that-- you weren't there-- and, uh, he's an authority on the subject, so I just wanted you to know.

Okay, as I was saying, this convention's gonna end tomorrow, and all these Elvii are gonna be flying out together, right?

Right. So the smugglers hide these diamonds in an Elvis costume, and all TSA sees is a glitzy jumpsuit going by.

But this isn't your average bedazzle job, right?

So you got to get a professional costumer.

But the professional costumer screws up and accidentally gives the costume to Lane Collins.

Kono: On the exact day that a deranged fan decides to k*ll him.

Guy's got good luck.

All right, so this convention ends tomorrow.

They'll be wrapping it up tonight, which means we got less than six hours. Chin, Kono, see if they ever had any leads to the diamonds' whereabouts.

If we could find where lvanovich stashed those diamonds, maybe it'll help us lead to the smugglers.

Copy.

You know, I would think this guy's already got a buyer lined up.

I'm gonna check with lnterpol, see if we can find who might be on the receiving end.

All right, good. You and me, we got someone to see.

Who's that?

Who's the one person connected to that heist who's still alive?


♪ Aloha... ♪

Oy.

Barry Burns!

Hey, fellas!

Long time no see.

I see, uh, house arrest is treating you well, huh?

It's the best ever.

I get to exercise every day, and I'm catching up on my reading, and taking a class online in acrylic painting.

Your wife must be glad you're home.

Mm... actually, she left me.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, don't be.

That's the best part about it.

Now I'm ordering in.

More than just food, if you catch my drift.

Oh.

Yeah, I got it.

Can I interest you guys in a smoothie?

I just started a new cleanse.

I'm good.

Danny: Uh, no, thanks.

I don't drink anything I have to chew.

Oh.

Barry, uh... it's been great catching up, it really has.

You look terrific. Uh, but we're actually here on some business.

Okay. What can I do for you?

Well, we were hoping you could tell us where Radomir lvanovich may have stashed the diamonds he stole.

(chuckles)

Well... you're not the first guys to come around asking that question.

Is that right?

When the word spread the diamonds were out there, every scumbag crook on the lsland wanted to get them.

It became, like, a bad-guy treasure hunt.

And I'm always the first stop.

Aha. You see, that's probably because you are Ivanovich's fence.

Yes. But I'm also a scumbag crook.

You think he's gonna trust me with something like that?

That's a good point.

Barry, we're gonna need a list of all the people who came knocking, okay?

Well... okay, I guess I owe you guys one.

You know, if it wasn't for that deal you gave me, I'd probably be someone's prison bitch right now.

With a body like that, definitely.

Thank you.

I guess.

So check this out-- a couple months before he dies, Ivanovich charges $2,500 at a local wine shop.

So the guy likes his wine.

Actually, that's the exact amount the shop charges to rent a private locker in their wine cellar.

Ivanovich prepaid for an entire year.

What's this?

It's a police report.

Last week, three guys hit the shop in the middle of the night.

They busted open a bunch of lockers, except they didn't take a single bottle.

'Cause they weren't looking for wine, they were after Ivanovich's diamonds.

Kono: So the height and build markers confirm that it was the same crew that hit the M.E.'s office.

And thanks to those masks, we're no closer to identifying them.

Kono: It seems like they're not the only ones who knew where the diamonds were stashed though.

The shop owner said that there was somebody else poking around the locker this morning, so we pulled the video.

Wait a minute, this guy's got keys.

How does he have keys to lvanovich's locker?

Here's how.

Facial rec I.D.'d him as Adrian lvanovich, Radomir lvanovich's brother.

According to DHS, he entered Hawaii less than 24 hours ago using an alias.

And according to his file, he makes his brother look like a Boy Scout in comparison.

Extortion, kidnapping, m*rder for hire--

Adrian's done it all.

Guess he wasn't too happy that someone b*at him to the diamonds.

The guy was accused of w*r crimes in Bosnia.

Who knows what makes him happy?

All right, so this guy's pissed, looking for answers.

What's his next move?

If he knew where the diamonds were stashed, he knew who his brother was in business with.

Oh, not Barry Burns.

Barry.

(phone ringing)

(ringing continues)

Don't answer that.

Who the hell are you?

You took something from my brother.

I'm here to get it back.

Barry (recorded): This is Barry B.

Thanks for hollering at me.

Leave a message, and I'll holla back.

I'd like to k*ll this guy-- even his voice mail's annoying.

(phone ringing)

Yeah, keep trying.

Lou, what do you got?

So I been going through this list that Burns was kind enough to provide for us.

Any of them look good for this?

Not even close.

Look, the guys who hit that wine shop were pros.

I'm talking about a sophisticated three-man team that was able to bypass a commercial-grade alarm system.

Now, there's nobody on Burns's list that's capable of that.

The only guys on there are small-timers and stick-up guys.

Very surprised-- the schmuck lied to us.

You got that right.

Burns knew where those diamonds were all along.

This whole thing with the list is nothing but a stall.

Yeah, well, the clock's about to run out on Burns.

Barry? Barry?

Barry?

Steve.

Got signs of a struggle.

Chin...

I need an exact location on Burns.

All right, well, according to the tracking monitor, he's still at the house.

Stand by.

Signal shows he's at the back of the property.

Barry (in distance): Help!

Danny.

Barry (in distance): Help!

Barry: Help! Help!

Over here.

Help!

(panting): Oh! Oh...

(groaning)

Oh, thank God.

Thought I was gonna die in there.

Like, a couple more hours, you probably would have.

(panting): This thing saved my life.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

'Cause that-that maniac was gonna sh**t me in the head, and I said, "Hey...

"the cops are gonna be alerted right away if this monitor stops registering a pulse."

You know, it doesn't actually work like that, you know that, right?

It doesn't?

Good thing I didn't know that.

Okay, enough, all right?

You lied to us, okay?

You told us a bunch of phony names so we'd be spinning our wheels.

Hey, hey, why would I do that?

Why would you do that?

'Cause you're a jerk is why.

The other thing is, you need to buy some time so your guys can smuggle the diamonds off the lsland.

I got good news-- the good news is you finally now do get to be someone's prison bitch.

No. No, no.

Please. They'll rip me apart in there.

Okay, well, you need to reevaluate your current situation and talk right now.

Okay, okay.

I knew where the diamonds were stashed.

So... I put together a crew to boost them... and smuggle them off the lsland.

Where do we find this crew?

They're holed up at the Walani Hotel.

We got one of those Elvis impersonators to be our mule.

And he was supposed to fly out with the diamonds first thing tomorrow morning.

What do you mean, supposed to?

Well, I told lvanovich's psychopath of a brother everything.

If those guys aren't dead already... they will be soon.

(elevator bell dings)

Man: All right, let's see 'em.

(sirens wailing in distance)

(sirens wailing)

All right, Duke, listen.

Find hotel security and lock this place down.

Also, find what room these guys are in.

All right.

♪ ♪

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Room 1650.

All right, you guys, you're with me.

Jerry, stay put.

Sunset design.

Red and blue.

That's the suit.

Steve!

Over there!

Rock a hula, baby!

Everybody get down! Down!

(people screaming)

Steve: Get down!

Grover: Get down!

♪ ♪

(g*n clicking empty)

Come here!

(woman screams)

Go! Fake Elvis!

Let the hostage go! Now!

Look here, hoss, there's only one way you're getting out of here alive!

(g*nsh*t)

(screams)

Nice sh*t, boss.

Okay, take it easy.

There's $3 million worth of diamonds on this body, all right?

No one's gonna say it?

Elvis has left the building.

Good.

(chuckles)

Oh, Jerry, by the way, I've been meaning to ask you.

You're not one of those nuts that thinks Elvis is still alive, are you?

Course not.

No sane person believes he is.

Elvis d*ed years ago.

Almost as long as Paul McCartney.

What? He's one of the two Beatles who actually is still alive.

Nope. d*ed in a car crash in '67.

Replaced with a look-alike.

One very talented look-alike.

Come on, Jer, everybody knows that's an urban legend.

What? Have you listened to "Strawberry Fields"?

The evidence is all there.

John confessed.

Grover: Oh, sure.

And I suppose Ringo sh*t Kennedy.

Danny: Oh, do me a favor, don't get him started on that one, all right?

Hey, since you guys sh*t up the convention, a bunch of us are gonna continue the party over at RumFire.

Who's up for a drink?

Kono: I could use one.

Yeah, as long as it's not bourbon, I'm in.

♪ ♪

Okay.

You don't remember the bet?

That was easy.

Well, you owe me $50.

Fine, that's...

Just buy my drinks. That's fine.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Thanks.

Hey, we got to get a drink for Chin-- he's running late.

No, no, he can come in on the next round.

Um, excuse me. Thank you.

Could I please have a Longboard, when you're ready?

She's a hostess, not the waitress-- there's a big difference.

I'm sorry for him.

But if you are gonna get him a beer, I'll have one, too.

Same here.

I'll have a strawberry daiquiri.

Steve: Did you say strawberry daiquiri?

I'm comfortable with my manhood, brother.

Oh, yes, you are.

And deep dish pizzas, strawberry daiquiris, man.

You like the finer things in life.

I'm a connoisseur, baby.

Uh-huh.

Well, there's Jerry.

He's found his people.

Kono: You know what?

I think it's great that he's passionate about something.

Steve: Let me tell you something.

Elvis Presley was the greatest, okay?

He was the King of Rock and Roll.

He invented rock and roll.

Uh, wait, now.

He had a little help from Chuck Berry and Little Richard.

But... you're right, there's only one King.

(people clapping, whistling)

Danny: Okay, this is gonna happen here.

I might need a double one of these.

I can't believe Chin is missing this.

They say when a star dies, its light continues to travel for hundreds of years.

This song goes out to one of our own.

Lane Collins-- though he's gone... his light keeps shining on us all.

♪ Treat me like a fool ♪
♪ Treat me mean and cruel ♪
♪ But love me ♪
♪ Break my faithful heart ♪
♪ Tear it all apart ♪
♪ But love me ♪
♪ Well, if you ♪
♪ Ever go ♪

(laughing)

(whoops)

♪ Darling, I'd be, oh ♪
♪ So lonely... ♪

He's unbelievable.

♪ I'll be sad and blue ♪
♪ Crying over you ♪
♪ Dear, hold me ♪
♪ I would beg and steal ♪
♪ Just to feel ♪
♪ Your heart ♪
♪ b*ating close to mine ♪
♪ Well, if you ever go ♪
♪ Darling, I'd be, oh ♪
♪ So lonely ♪
♪ Begging on my knees ♪
♪ All I ask is please ♪
♪ Please love me ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Yeah. ♪

(phone ringing)

Hey, I'm pulling up to the hotel now.

Gabriel: Hello, Chin. It was good seeing you this morning.

What do you want, Gabriel?

A little gratitude, for starters.

If I hadn't k*lled that I.A. detective, you'd be behind bars right now.

So would you. Don't even pretend you did that for me.

Here's what's gonna happen.

You're gonna help me get off this island.

Really? And why would I do that?

Because I have something you're gonna want to see.

Information that affects you very directly.

And as a show of good faith...

I'm prepared to give you a little sneak peak.

Where do we meet?

That won't be necessary.

It'll be waiting for you when you get home.

(tires screeching)

(siren wailing)

♪ ♪

(tires screech)

Commander, what do you got?

All clear. Only thing we found was this envelope-- X-rays show it's safe to open.

Commander: What is this?

I don't know.

I don't know.
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