06x01 - Mai ho`oni i ka wai lana mâlie (Do Not Disturb the Water is Tranquil)

[bunniefuu]

♪

(ship creaking)

(faint voices in distance)

♪ ♪ ♪

Take it all, men!

Leave nothing behind!

(clamoring)

(men shouting)

(grunts)

(cocks p*stol)

♪

(shouts indistinctly)

(shouts, excited chatter)

(neighing)

Hyah!

Good evening, my dear fellow.

Would you be kind enough to escort my men and I to the palace?

Yeah.

(gasping)

What is the meaning of this?

This, my good king, is going to be remembered as a most historic night in your delightful commonwealth.

For tonight, you will be host to the most brutal of scoundrels the seven seas has ever encountered.

Guard him.

(cocks hammer)

(shouts, excited chatter)

Captain: Take your time, gents. Plenty of swag for everyone.

(grunts)

That's a smart look, chum.

Captain: Your order, if you don't mind.

(grunts)

(sniffs)

Ah, me lady... what is that delightful fragrance?

It's called a bath.

You should try it sometime.

(laughter)

Captain: Pardon me for being so bold.

Ah...

Hmm!

Now, then, can I trouble you for the keys to the Treasury?

♪

Old man: Inside that vault was almost $3 million in gold, silver and currency, and we took it all.

(on video): That night, the Royal Palace, the Treasury... and all the large island companies were systematically plundered.

We were a dying breed, the last remaining corsairs on the seven seas.

But the island of Oahu would be our greatest pillage.

(Hawaii Five-O theme song plays)

♪ Hawaii Five-O 6x01 ♪
Mai ho`oni i ka wai Lana mâlie

♪ ♪

Aloha ahiahi.

Ladies and gentlemen, my beautiful cousin Kono has given me the duty and makana of being your entertainment for tonight.

But first I'd like you all to give it up for the bride and groom.

Here they are for the very first time...

Mr. and Mrs. Noshimuri.

(people clapping)

(man whoops)

("Me Ke Aloha Pumehana" playing)

(cheering and whooping)

♪ Aloha ♪
♪ Pumehana Ia 'oe ♪
♪ Ua kama'aina ♪
♪ I ko Leo ♪
♪ Hone Ana ♪
♪ I ka Leo honehone ♪
♪ Ua kupa ♪
♪ I ko alo... ♪

So what happened?

Gabriel pulled a g*n on me in the parking lot.

Gabriel: I've changed my mind.

No longer planning on leaving.

It's only a matter of time before you and your friends get in my way again.

So I've come to offer you a deal.

Really?

50% of his growing drug empire seems like a pretty generous offer.

So what'd you say?

I told him he'd better pull the trigger, because if he didn't, I would find him and put him down.

Okay, wait a minute. This guy comes at you at your cousin's wedding-- he knows we're all here.

This is not about a bribe.

He's trying to send us a message.

Yeah, and the message is saying he ain't scared of us.

Guys, look, I don't mean to downplay how serious this was, but... let's remember why we're here.

You know what? You're absolutely right.

Steve: Yes, she is.

This is Kono and Adam's night-- we should be celebrating with them.

Well, in that case, I better go find Her Majesty and get my dance on.

I'm gonna dance with Grace.

What about you, sailor?

You still got it?

Oh, yeah, I still got it.

You still got it?

Oh-ho!

Let's go, hotshot.

Bring it!

You coming?

You kids go have fun--

I'll catch up with you.

Steve: All right.

("We Are Family" playing)

Mrs. Grover?

Are we going?

Yeah, we're going.

♪ We are family ♪
♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪

Took you long enough.

Let's dance.

I don't know.

I'm a little weak in the knees right now.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Come on.

♪ Everyone can see ♪
♪ We're together ♪
♪ As we walk on by ♪
♪ And ♪
♪ And we fly ♪
♪ Just like birds of a feather ♪
♪ I won't tell no lie ♪
♪ All ♪
♪ All of the people ♪
♪ Around us, they say ♪
♪ Can they be that close? ♪
♪ Just let me state for the record ♪

Hey, cuz, come on, let me see those moves.

Absolutely.

♪ We are family ♪
♪ Come on, y'all! ♪
♪ I got my ohana with me ♪
♪ Uh-huh, we are ♪
♪ Family ♪
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ We are family ♪
♪ Come on, ohana, dance! ♪
♪ I got my ohana with me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ We are family ♪
♪ Come on, y'all! ♪
♪ Get up, everybody, and dance... ♪
♪

(phone rings)

Steve: Hello.

(groans softly)

No, I'm awake.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

That was some night.

Yeah, it was pretty epic. (chuckles)

(sighs): Um...

I was kind of hoping you and I could talk a little bit this morning.

We will.

Go. Go. I'll be here when you get back.

Lukela: Vic's name is Keanu Carson.

40 years old, lives alone.

Danny: What else do we know about this guy, Duke?

No record.

Neighbors say he was friendly.

Had a girlfriend, Isabelle Lono-- we're trying to track her down.

Also, he wrote books.

Airport fiction.

Whoa, look at this.

Danny: What is it?

Videocassettes.

When was the last time you saw one of these?

I don't know.

Danny: It's all homemade stuff.

Steve: Except there's one missing.

"Byron Washburn Interview. October 1975."

Danny, look at that.

All right, so Mr. Carson here is watching Byron Washburn interview from 1975.

Maybe the k*ller takes the tape with him when he leaves.

Right after he puts a b*llet in this guy.

But who's Byron Washburn?

I don't know.

Maybe this guy is writing a airport novel about him.

Well, if that's the case, it looks like there's somebody out there who doesn't want that story told.

All right, open up.

Wow.

You made this?

Don't look so surprised.

Well, you've always had help.

Yeah, well, that's about to change.

I meant what I said, Adam.

None of this matters.

I only want you.

So come here.

Come on.

It's getting cold. Try it.

You keep cooking like this, I'll be fat in no time.

I think I'd like you fat.

What are you saying?

I'm saying... someday...

I'd like to have a family with you, Mrs. Noshimuri.

I think I'd like that, Mr. Kalakaua.

Okay, I'm supposed to take your last name, is that it?

Come here.

(doorbell rings)

I got to get it. Be right back.

Just a sec.

Delivery. Mr. and Mrs. Noshimuri.

Hey, more wedding gifts.

(zapping, Adam grunting)

Adam?

Adam?

(zapping)

(grunts)

Grover: So, CSU processed Keanu Carson's house.

It was clean, but we did manage to get a lead on the name from the missing VHS tape.

Byron Washburn, right?

Beta.

Excuse me?

That is a box for a Betamax tape, not VHS.

VHS is actually eight percent larger than Betas.

Incidentally, they were inferior in every way.

Beta had better picture, better sound.

But for some reason, the format never caught on with the general public.

Is that a conspiracy, too?

No.

Just a basic format w*r.

Not everything's a conspiracy.

I like you.

Why is he here?

Oh, with Kono off on her honeymoon, I asked Jerry to pitch in.

Think we're gonna need all the help we can get on this one.

Glad to have you, Jer.

You're welcome.

Okay, so, can we, uh... can we get back to Washburn?

So, the guy's name appears on a publisher's press release from back in 1975.

Seems a local history teacher named Dr. Nathan Exley was writing a book about a band of pirates operating in the Pacific during the early 1880s, and Washburn was the last surviving member of the crew.

Still had pirates in the 1880s?

Actually, you know, I remember hearing about these guys when I was a kid. My uncle used to tell me a bedtime story about this crew launching a midnight raid on Oahu.

Legend has it that they laid siege to the island for hours before escaping with a treasure worth millions.

It's a fine haul, gents.

Fine haul indeed.

Of course that's just folklore.

Hardly anyone believes that they actually were here.

But back in the day, these pirates actually did hit dozens of islands, and they amassed a huge treasure.

The press release also says that Nathan Exley conducted a series of video interviews with Washburn, who at the time was 104 years old.

Most of this treasure wasn't recovered, so it's safe to assume a lot of it's still out there.

Maybe Washburn, on this tape, said something that could lead to the rest of it.

Okay, well, that would definitely be information worth k*lling for.

All right, so let's just talk to Exley and see what Washburn told him.

Unfortunately, we can't.

Why not?

Because dead men tell no tales.

Would you stop with the thing?

I'm sorry. It was right there.

Oh, hold on a second. Exley's dead?

Presumably.

He vanished right after he started working on his book 40 years ago.

Meanwhile, all of his research, including the Washburn tapes, ended up in a storage container, where it remained untouched for years.

Now, Exley's family kept paying the tab for that container, hoping he might come back someday.

He never did.

Eventually they gave up, and then, just a few weeks ago, that container ended up being sold at an auction.

Grover: And that's where the Vic comes in.

Keanu bought that container, and we think it's because he was writing a book on Dr. Nathan Exley.

Whatever info that pirate shared with Exley, chances are he told somebody else.

So let's find out whatever we can, reach out to any known family members, see if they know something.

Some party last night.

Epic. Epic party.

You know, me and Catherine-- we passed out as soon as we walked in the door.

I woke up in my tux.

So, I take it that means you did not have the talk?

What talk?

What talk? What are you...?

The talk. We talked about the talk.

Remember? "How long you staying?

What are your plans?

What's going on with you and I?"

The talk.

Oh, the talk.

Yeah.

Yeah. No, we didn't have the talk.

I didn't get around to it.

Well, if you'd like me to Cyrano that conversation, I can do that.

You know, you just tell me when and where, and I'll be there.

Thank you. It's fine.

I got this.

We'll, uh... we'll have the talk.

You know, if you're scared, I can understand that.

It's-it's okay to be scared.

You can admit that to me.

Why would I admit that when I'm not scared? I'm not scared.

You're not?

No.

No, 'cause I understand that you're a Navy SEAL, and being fragile is not something you are allowed to be, being a Navy SEAL, so, you know, if she hurt you once pretty good, I imagine she... well, she might do it again. That's understandable.

Hey, listen to me for a second.

Listen, I appreciate your advice.

I know you're trying to do me a favor, but could you please, please just stop talking?

That's all, just... you know?

Okay.

You want to be alone, you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, don't listen to me.

You are alone and you are always miserable, and-and that is exactly why I'm not listening to you, okay?

And that's also why I'm gonna ask Catherine to marry me.

Say that again.

I said you're always miserable.

The other part!

I'm gonna ask Catherine to marry me.

Well, it is about time.

I agree with you.

It's, uh, something I should have done a long time ago.

I am very proud of you, buddy.

Thank you.

This is fantastic, huh?

Look at this. See this?

This is me not miserable.

I am happy right now for you.

Give it time.

It'll pass, I'm sure.

Hey, buddy, that's great!

Hey, hey, I'm driving here.

What, are you crazy?!

Yeah, it's good. Wow.

I'm picking the tuxes.

Fine.

(blows landing)

Stop it!

Nice of you to join us.

Let him go.

Please.

He's done nothing to you.

(grunting)

What do you want from him?!

(sighs, coughs)

She's a little late to the party.

You catch her up?

(Adam panting)

Gabriel wants me to transfer all my assets to a holding company he controls.

Gabriel: Shouldn't be difficult, right?

He was scheduled to transfer all that cash to his father's ex-partner in three days.

I'm just asking him to move that money now.

If he does that, the Yakuza will k*ll him.

If he doesn't, what do you think I'll do?

Steve: Doctor, when was the last time you spoke to your boyfriend?

A few days ago.

Keanu was in research mode, gearing up to write his new book.

Whenever he started something new, it was best just to leave him be.

You know, Keanu very recently-- he bought a, um... a storage container, uh, belonged to a guy named Nathan Exley.

Do you know anything about that?

Of course. That's who Keanu was writing about.

The container had all of Exley's research-- papers, tapes, his whole life's work, really.

He was like this real-life Indiana Jones.

I told Keanu I thought Exley may have gone off in search of pirate treasure.

I figured he probably d*ed in the field or maybe at the hands of a competitor.

Keanu was intrigued.

Thought there was a story there.

(sniffles)

So when that container became available, Keanu jumped at it.

Steve: Ma'am, there were some videotapes in the container among Exley's work, one of which had an interview with a man named Byron Washburn.

Did Keanu ever mention anything about that?

Yeah, but he didn't say what was on it.

He was really excited about it, though.

(sniffles, phone beeps on)

Ah, he even left me a message after he watched it.

Keanu: Baby, it's me.

You were right about this professor.

I don't care if this book sells or not.

We're gonna be rich.

Thank you.

Okay, from the sound of that voice mail, Keanu got hit with the same treasure-hunting bug as Exley.

Right, which means that old sea dog Washburn had to have said something about a missing fortune.

Clues, maybe a location even.

All right, look, buddy, I do not know what's stranger, okay?

Somewhere out there there's a 130-year-old pirate treasure that we're looking for, or that the key to finding it is on a 40-year-old Betamax tape.

Whatever the case may be, whoever's after that treasure is willing to k*ll for it now.

(alarm sounding)

Tour guide: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had a report of a gas leak.

Please use any available exit.

Let's go.

That's right, come on.

Keep moving.

(alarm continues blaring)

Guard: Hold it right there! Put the painting down. Place your hands on your head. That's right, keep your hands where I can see them.

(gasps)

Man: Leave now.

(g*n chamber cocks)

(tires screeching, sirens blaring)

(sirens blaring)

Lou, what have we got?

Hostage situation.

Grover: Somebody calls in a phony gas leak.

They tried to evacuate the building.

All of a sudden, one of the security guards says this guy wearing a gas company uniform trying to steal a painting.

Must be a very valuable painting.

Well, it belonged to King Kalakaua, so it's priceless.

You know, I'm starting to think this was about more than just an art theft, though.

What do you mean?

Remember that bedtime story I was telling you that my uncle told me?

Sure.

In it, the pirates storm 'Iolani Palace.

And they steal anything of value, including a painting of Manoa Valley.

Now the painting our perp tried to steal?

Also of Manoa Valley.

Now, according to the museum director, this particular painting disappeared from the palace in 1884, and it only resurfaced 40 years ago in the basement of an old church.

So, you're saying it could be the same painting.

I thought you said that your uncle's story was just a legend.

What if it isn't?

Grover: Look, whatever it is, here's the bottom line.

We got a k*ller looking for some 19th century treasure.

Then, all of a sudden, somebody tries to rip off a painting that may or may not be connected to the same treasure?

This ain't a coincidence.

Our homicide and this attempted theft are connected.

All right, we had any communication with the perp?

Nothing so far.

Tac up. We're going in.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

So, where is this guy?

All right, this level has three possible exfil points.

Maybe he grabbed his hostage and slipped out before backup arrived.

Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense.

He already got away with the painting.

What the hell you gonna take a hostage for?

This is good.

What is it?

It's quiche.

Tastes like eggs.

(grunts)

(sniffs, grunts)

What do you say?

What you're asking me to do is not possible.

I told you that.

Adam, I'm trying to be professional about this.

There's absolutely no need for anybody else to get hurt.

Now, all you have to do is give my friend Damon here the account codes.

We'll do the rest.

No.

Kono (muffled): Adam.

(muffled protests)

(groans)

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

It's for me.

(groans)

(exhales)

Grover: Pulled security footage from the heist and ran our thief through facial rec.

Didn't get any hits on the guy but we did get one back on his hostage.

Hostage?

More like a co-conspirator.

The girl's in on it.

Guys, meet Miss Cindy Patterson.

She lives in Key West.

She's got a nice little record for boat theft and armed robbery, and, according to the paper the FBI has on her, she likes to run with an unidentified accomplice who just so happens to fit the same description as our guy.

Okay. So Patterson hides out in the museum somewhere while her partner jacks the painting.

The security guard catches him in the act, so she calls an audible and pretends to be an innocent bystander.

Jerry: Well, I did it again.

Danny: What'd you do?

I think I blew this case wide open.

Excuse me.

Well, are you gonna tell us what you did or are you gonna break your arm, patting yourself on the back?

Your stolen painting is a treasure map.

I'm almost sure of it. Check this out.

Here's the painting as it looked when it hung in the palace, shortly before it disappeared.

And here is how it looked when it was recovered 40 years ago.

Note... the tear in the canvas.

Now, if you believe the pirate raid actually happened-- and I think we're all on board with that now-- then this damage occurred while the painting was in the hands of the crew.

Obviously, it could have been an accident, but there is also another possibility: the pirates did this on purpose.

See, I'm thinking, after they pillaged Oahu, something happened which forced 'em to hide the treasure here on the island.

Maybe the Army was after them.

Who knows?

I think they stashed the treasure with the intention of coming back for it later.

Except they didn't have time to draw a treasure map, so instead they made this painting the map.

See, all they had to do was pick a spot in the painting, bury the treasure there, and then mark the canvas.

It's pretty nifty, right?

It's a total pirate move.

This is like waiting in line for a Star Wars movie for you, huh?

Yeah. Kind of.

Anyway, taking into consideration a century's worth of foliage growth and terrain shifts, I've managed to pinpoint the location of the treasure.

There. Just east of Lua'alaea Falls.

That's where your booty is.

Ergo, that's where your bad guys are headed.

You do realize that this theory of yours is completely...

Ridiculous.

Grover: Damn right.

Jerry, if the painting is the map, why not just go to the museum, pull out your phone, take a picture of the damn painting?

Got a point, Jerry.

Your ignorance is adorable.

What?

You're thinking of these perps as thieves.

They're not thieves.

They steal boats and chase treasure.

They're pirates.

And pirates pillage as they go.

It's what they do.

"Take it all.Leave nothing behind."

That's their mantra.

This painting belonged to King Kalakaua himself.

It's priceless. There's no way they'd leave that behind.

Guys, have I ever steered you wrong before?

Trust me. Thar be treasure in that spot.

Yo ho ho.

♪ ♪

Are we there yet?

Well, according to Jerry, it should be right over this ridge.

I'm just gonna keep it real, man.

If these perps are up here, I'm gonna be way too damn tired to arrest 'em.

We could just sh**t the guy when we get there.

Steve, you're good with that, right?

Yeah, you children done complaining yet or what?

Anybody got any bug spray?

I'm getting eaten alive out here.

Speaking about being eaten alive, Steve has something that he would like to share with everybody, with the group.

I hope it's bug spray.

Danny. Come on. Really?

You should share it.

He's getting married.

(groans)

What?

Hey.

Huh?

(laughing): Huh?

Yes, I was gonna propose to Catherine, unless, of course, Big Mouth here already blew the surprise.

Well, that's great news.

Yeah, mazel tov, brother.

Thank you.

When's the big day?

I don't know.

I got to...

I got to get a ring and find a location.

But soon.

Look, I asked Rachel to marry me with a soda can ring.

I think we all remember how that worked out.

Hey, listen, she was, uh, very surprised.

It was very romantic.

I bet it was.

It's a nice story, Danny, but I want to do this right, you know?

It's been a long time coming, so...

You know, not that yours wasn't right, but...

Well, if you're gonna do it, do it right.

Steve: I appreciate it.

Guys, over here!

All right, I'll guard the entrance.

Seriously?

Claustrophobia does not go away.

Good luck, guys.

Over here.

Grover: Yeah, he's definitely been here a while.

You guys, looks like we just solved the mysterious disappearance of Professor Exley.

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct police transmission)

Steve: Hey, guys. Check this out.

According to Exley's journal, the pirate captain was afraid there was gonna be a mutiny when they got out to sea.

He figured he needed some leverage, so he had the quartermaster and the first mate help him hide the treasure before they raised anchor.

All right, so the captain double-crossed his crew before they could double-cross him.

Okay, gentlemen. I have completed my field examination.

What you got?

There were no signs of foul play.

And based on the damage to the skull and the positions of the remains inside the cave, it appears that our intrepid professor took a bad fall and sustained a fatal head injury.

Chin: So his death was an accident?

Max: I'm afraid so.

I guess we should try to reach out to the Exley family if we can, give 'em some closure, if nothing else.

Grover: Well, the techs have mapped every inch of that cave and the surrounding area.

There's no sign of buried treasure.

Well, maybe they moved the treasure before he got here.

Nope.

CSU said that nothing in the area has been excavated. Ever.

All right.

Well, then Exley and Jerry both got the location wrong.

Steve: Yeah, but according to Exley's journal, the treasure's still on the island.

Which means the K*llers are still here.

Yo. Boss man.

Want a slice?

I got pineapple-pepperoni.

A bit Luke, still tasty.

No, I don't. Thank you. Um, Jerry, I don't mean to be rude, but do you have to work in my office, at my desk... with my stuff?

Not if you gave me an office.

Okay. I'll consider it.

How about that?

Okay.

But don't take too long.

I do have options.

Noted.

Do you have something for me in all this?

Hey, you know the old saying that the coconut doesn't fall far from the tree?

I'm pretty sure it's "apple," but go on.

Okay, whatever. But that woman you're looking for, Cindy Patterson, it turns out that not only is she a modern-day pirate, she's the descendant of one.

What are you talking about?

Her mother's maiden name was Washburn.

As in...

As in Byron Washburn.

She had it legally changed to Patterson before Cindy was born.

Chin.

Probably to distance herself from the legacy of a murderous pirate.

This is good.

What's up?

All right, check it out.

Cindy Patterson is Washburn's great-granddaughter.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Exactly what I said.

Okay, so Carson buys Exley's research at auction, discovers the Washburn interview, and contacts the man's family to offer them a look, which is what a nice guy would do.

He makes this call before he learns about the buried treasure, at which point he's already put himself in danger.

Doesn't this blow your mind?

Your suspect is a 21st century Anne Bonny.

How cool is that?

Except for the part where she kills a guy.

Yeah, except that part.

Oh, and I did some background on Cindy Patterson's great-granddad.

It turns out that he was on staff here at the palace for a few years in the '40s, but he got canned.

What for?

Not sure.

I'm gonna do some digging in some old employee records, see what I can find out. But...

I'm thinking folks discovered that he had been a pirate.

Grover: Hey, guys, I got something.

Come on.

Good work, Jerry.

So, I just got off with TSA.

They told me that Cindy Patterson flew here two days ago on a one-way ticket from Florida.

She was traveling with this guy.

Notice any resemblance?

Same guy.

Simon Moore's his name.

What do we know about him?

Not much.

But I checked with his credit card companies.

As soon as he got into town, he rented a 40-foot sailboat.

That boat's got to be how they're planning to get the treasure off the island.

Gabriel: Wow.

Getting answers out of you two is like pulling teeth.

I'm sorry.

That was in poor taste.

This can end.

All you got to do is give me the passcodes.

No.

No, don't do it!

(muffled shouting)

(muffled protests)

Your bride, she's one tough lady.

(muffled shouting)

(whimpering)

(muffled shouting)

Something to say?

Okay! Okay, you win.

I'll give you what you want.

Just don't touch her again.

No, don't do it!

Of course.

No, Adam, no.

Your turn.

Adam, no.

Give Damon the codes.

The codes are useless.

I made specific instructions with my bank.

The transfer can only be initiated in person.

Adam, if you're lying to me... she's gonna die.

Very slowly.

And I'm gonna make you watch.

You understand?

Yeah.

I understand.

Clear.

Clear.

Officer: Clear.

Maybe they haven't recovered the treasure yet.

Or they have and they're moving it some other way.

Chin, what's that?

Huh.

So much for it being priceless.

They ripped the frame off this thing.

There must have been something inside.

Could've been some clue on the canvas or maybe one of the borders.

All right, this painting told them something.

We need to figure out what that is.

♪ ♪

(loud knock)

(grunts)

(gagging)

(groans)

Sorry for the wait, Mr. Noshimuri, but the transfer's now complete.

(horn honking)

Kono: Everybody get down!

(shrieking)

It's okay, it's okay.

Call an ambulance!

Please, he needs help.

Somebody call an ambulance!

So what exactly are we supposed to be looking for?

I don't know.

Jerry?

This is everything from the boat?

Yeah, why?

Geez.

How'd I miss this?

This frame's wrong.

What are you talking about?

Take a look. See?

Different frames.

When the painting was originally stolen, the frame was brass.

This is wood.

Okay, so the pirates changed it.

But why would they go through the trouble?

I think the key to finding this treasure isn't the painting.

It's the frame.

Uh-huh.

Chin, I need a picture of the painting.

Same size as the real thing.

What are you doing, Jer?

Take a look-- there's a notch on the back of each piece.

Grover: He's right.

Jerry: Now pay attention.

Each corner represents a direction.

North, east, south, west.

So who's gonna say it?

You should say it.

"X" marks the spot.

(jackhammering)

♪ ♪

We're almost done.

Simon.

Simon, I found it.

Simon.

Simon?

Cover!

(grunts)

(grunting)

Aah!

(grunts)

That's it, isn't it?

Those better be solid gold.

They're not.

Grover: I thought you said this stuff was worth millions.

Man, I can go down to Aloha Pawn, buy everything in here and the case and still get change back from a 20.

That's the legend.

You know, maybe the captain buried this as a decoy.

The real treasure could still be out there.

Yeah, well, if it is, a lot of people lost their lives for nothing.

(car approaches, horn honks)

Let me guess-- you found some silverware and a couple candlesticks.

Yeah, how'd you know that?

Went through the palace archive, found Washburn's old employee record.

The dude was fired from the gig because he was suspected of stealing some silverware and a couple candlesticks.

I'm shocked.

I'm not really shocked, Jerry, the guy was a pirate.

No, he wasn't.

That's the crazy part.

According to this, Washburn was born in 1882.

Which means he lied about his age to Exley.

When those pirates were doing their thing, Washburn was still in diapers.

So Washburn lied about being a pirate.

Whole thing was a giant hoax.

Well, hell, the guy did work at the palace.

I'm sure he had some insider knowledge as to the history of the place.

Probably figured he could use that plus the pirate legend, make himself some cash.

Everyone fell for it.

Exley, Keanu, us.

His own great-granddaughter.

(phone rings)

What are you doing, calling me on your honeymoon?

Hey.

Steve: You okay?

What are they saying?

Um, uh, nothing, yet.

He's still in surgery.

But even if he pulls through, Gabriel got away with the money that was meant to buy his freedom from the Yakuza.

Without it, we're both dead.