06x10 - Leaving the Station

[bunniefuu]

- Wow.

- Yeah.

I mean the pictures don't do it justice.

- It's like a fairy tale.

- I know.

How did you guys find this place?

It was on Blake and Trevor's short list.

Yeah, but then Trevor decided he wanted a water element, so Are you two ever actually going to get married?

If we ever decide on how to do it, so maybe not.

Anyway, I just looked up the ten most romantic places near D. C. , - and this popped up.

- It kind of reminds me of the house at the farm, doesn't it?

Maybe the barn.

STEVIE: Okay, I know you guys wanted me to have it there.

I'm sorry.

- No, no, no, no, no.

100%.

- Hey, we're venue neutral.

STEVIE: Okay.

We just wanted this to be, like, our place, you know, not connected to anyone else's history.

And I don't really have much of a history here, so everything works for me.

- You like it, though, right?

- Oh, no, I love it.

It reminds me of my grandfather's house on the farm.

Well, pictures I've seen, before the state took it.

I-I love it.

Look at those beams.

- STEVIE: Yeah.

- Yeah.

So they're all hand-planed original timber, and the furniture in here is-is hand-hewn; there's no nails.

It's like we're standing in art.

Oh.

It so is.

(EXCITED CHATTER)

Are we ready to sample food?

ELIZABETH: Oh, yes!

- Thank you, Maggie.

Everything looks amazing.

Maggie, it's so good to finally - meet you in person.

- Likewise.

- This is place is spectacular, really.

- Beautiful place.

Thank you so much.

Oh, this is a couple of late additions - What do we have?

- from the caterer.

Bacon-wrapped dates - and lobster mac and cheese.

- Yes!

(GASPS)

Showing some respect for the flesh eaters.

- And we love you for it.

- Oh, we do.

Ma'am, those dishes haven't been cleared.

What-what do you mean?

We oversaw production of everything that's here.

Those two haven't been vetted.

So not the mac and I'm good to go, right?

Yes, sir.

STEVIE: Mmm.

Crudités are okay?

BOTH: Yes, ma'am.

(STEVIE CHUCKLES)

- This is by far the best.

- Oh, good.

- This cake is unbelievable.

- That's really good.

- How is it?

- It's terrible.

- No, it's not good at all.

- You wouldn't like it at all.

Okay, so this one?

I want my own personal vat at the wedding.

I will see to it, but for now we should get to the White House for the bill signing.

Okay.

You know, you could sort of just grab one for yourself - and we could have it in the - No, ma'am.

HENRY: Mmm, mmm, mmm.

If you die, I won't eat it.

MIKE: "A mere nine months after President McCord was "threatened with impeachment, an action which was impeded "by the largest political protest "in the nation's history, "the White House will hold a Rose Garden ceremony "for the signing of the Equal Pay and Family Leave Act.

"In attendance will be the world champion "U. S. women's soccer team, - outspoken proponents of pay equity.

" - Yes.

"Not present will be Mark Hanson and all of his traitorous congressional scum nuggets.

" - Michael.

- Uh, we'll see.

"Also in attendance will be Flo Avery, "a citizen who was born the same day "that women were granted the right to vote through the ratification of the 19th Amendment.

" Hey, can you make sure that there's someone there to help her down the stairs?

Let's avoid any sudden noises.

Dead old ladies aren't a great look - for female empowerment.

- She seems very spry.

Her phone voice seems spry?

Also, the soccer players.

I got an earful when I asked them to stick to the talking points.

All this stuff about (STAMMERS)

censorship and the importance of letting women speak their truth.

They do this all the time.

I'm just saying maybe don't stand so close to them when - the microphones are on.

- Too many powerful women for you?

- You've met my four sisters.

- You know I have triggers.

Yeah.

Okay, go.

Thank you so much.

- Hi.

Uh, maintenance missed the memo - Hi.

- on fertilizing the Rose Garden.

- (CHUCKLES)

So the olfactory consensus is that we should hold the bill signing in here, additional photo sessions in the portrait gallery - to make room for more press.

- Okay.

That's great.

And (EXHALES)

one small thing I need to discuss with you about the wedding.

(GASPS)

Oh, my God.

My daughter's getting married, Russell!

In two days.

That's, like, the day after tomorrow.

Yes, yes.

It is exactly like that.

Uh I know you got enough on your mind without last-minute requests, but I have to ask you not to seat me with Carol.

Okay.

Why?

Because things haven't been going so well lately, and she would rather be at a distance from me.

I mean, how serious is it?

I'm at a hotel.

Oh, no.

Nah.

I've been there before.

Named a suite for me at the Mayfair.

Blows over eventually.

Oh, Russell, I'm so sorry.

Sort of afraid to ask: Is it because of the job?

It's not not because of the job.

I don't know how I could've gotten through any of this without you, you know.

I feel bad.

You know, maybe I should talk to Carol.

Oh, God, no.

The only person she likes less than me right now is you.

Well, how long has this been going on?

(SIGHS)

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

Carol!

Call the gardener!

- It's out of the question.

- It's temporary.

Dalton was temporary.

- Only the second term.

- What's your point?

- This is different!

- It's always different.

Except it's never different.

You had a heart att*ck, Russell.

- You almost d*ed.

- Yeah, and her daughter saved my life.

So you owe her?

Oh, come on, the first woman president, Carol.

Don't you dare!

Just to get her on solid ground, and then I promise No.

You have lost the right to promise me anything.

And you know what?

Your thousand broken promises aren't even the real problem.

The real problem is that I have always come second to your job.

You have never once chosen me first, and you never will.

It's not a competition, Carol.

Not anymore it isn't.

I quit.

EPFL PSA, take one.

Welcome, everybody.

I am so thrilled to have these voices supporting us - in this - (LAUGHTER)

WOMAN: EPFL PSA, take seven.

(CHUCKLES)

Welcome, everybody.

I am so thrilled to have these women here lending their voices to this cause.

ASHLYN: We're honored to be here, Madam President.

We've been speaking out about pay equity for a long time in our own profession, but the problem is everywhere.

CRYSTAL: The average American woman makes only 82 cents for every dollar earned by men.

And it's even worse for minorities.

African American women make 63 cents on the dollar.

That's why we always say, "Equal work" OTHERS: "Equal sweat, equal pay.

" - Ah.

ALLIE: You could steal that phrase, Madam President.

ELIZABETH: Well, I just might take you up on that.

And this act also provides for spousal leave.

ALI: We love that, whether your partner's your husband or your wife.

And cut.

Thank you, ladies.

That was wonderful.

(LAUGHS): So sorry about that.

That's right, you guys got married.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

We did it.

(LAUGHS)

- Yeah.

We took the plunge.

Aw.

We are having a wedding Well, we-we're married, but our daughter Stevie is getting married in two days.

- Two days?

- Oh, wow.

You both seem really relaxed.

Well, it's all just a very well-rehearsed act.

But I'm glad to see that it's working.

(LAUGHS)

BLAKE: Madam President.

This is our special guest, Flo Avery.

Ms.

Avery, it is an honor to meet you.

Call me Flo.

Well, thank you, I will.

Uh, ladies, I want you to meet Ms.

Avery Flo, who was born on August 18th, 1920, the exact day that the 19th Amendment was ratified.

- Such an honor to meet you.

- So nice to meet you.

- (CAMERAS CLICKING)

- I am so honored to be here today in the presence of such fine examples of female leadership, fortitude and longevity.

The Equal Pay and Family Leave Act will ensure greater opportunities for all women across our country.

Thank you for being here today.

Thank you.

You guys, thanks for being here.

I really appreciate it.

Thank you, everyone.

Right this way.

We will, uh, pick this up in the portrait gallery quick as you can.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Madam President, I just wanted to tell you that - May I sit, please?

- Y-Yes, please.

I never thought I'd live to see the day when we would have a woman president.

Well, I'm very glad that you did.

(CHUCKLES)

However, now that I have, I couldn't be more disappointed.

Oh.

Um Don't be patting yourself too hard on the back about this-this little bill.

It was passed by a house full of men.

And it can be taken away just as easily.

It's baked right into the Declaration of Independence that all men are created equal.

And look what happened to the ERA.

Couldn't even get it ratified by the states.

Equal Pay Act, my foot.

The Emancipation Proclamation didn't end sl*very.

The 13th Amendment did.

As long as the Constitution doesn't guarantee my equality I see no reason to celebrate.

But thanks for the pen.

(QUIETLY): Hi.

Uh, the venue just went down in flames.

I know.

Did you see that coming?

- Because I sure didn't.

- No.

Mike was worried about the soccer players.

I just got my ass handed to me by a centenarian.

No, the wedding venue just b*rned down to the ground.

(SIGHS): Oh, come on.

Well?

Well, unfortunately, all that beautiful, original hand-hewn timber made excellent kindling.

The place b*rned to the ground in less than an hour.

- Fortunately, no one was hurt.

- Okay.

Well, we still have the caterer, so we can just go full-court press on another venue.

All right, well, what about postponing?

No.

That's impossible.

People are already on their way in.

They've made hotel reservations, their schedules.

It's a logistical nightmare.

We can't just But we-we don't want to wait.

- Like - HENRY: Just keep making lists and calls until we find a new venue.

There's got to be some place that'll work.

- ELIZABETH: Right.

- Afraid that is not an option.

It takes three weeks minimum to clear a location.

Can't we make some kind of emergency exception?

I mean, there has to be a way around the protocol.

Oh, yeah, in fact there is: You can get married anywhere you like as long as your mother doesn't come to the wedding.

- Don't even think about it.

No.

- I'm not.

All right, look, in terms of secure venues, here are your options: Camp David which has been dealing with an infestation - of West Nile mosquitos - Great.

and the White House.

That's it?

That's Mount Weather, if you like a windowless bunker.

So much for keeping it apolitical.

(CHUCKLES): I mean Listen to me.

Your dad and I are gonna do everything in our power - to protect this wedding.

- Mm.

I mean it.

There will be no press and absolutely no politics.

It's a political gold mine!

Invitations will be more sought after than Willy Wonka's golden tickets!

No!

There will be no political interference in this wedding.

Is that clear?

End of discussion.

Just keep the announcement simple and stress it'll be a low-key event - for family and friends.

- Yes, sir.

Thank you.

That's all.

Actually, it's not.

I've just been talking with Jody, our Women's Outreach director, and I do have something else I want to discuss.

After my trip to the woodshed with Flo Avery at the signing ceremony, I've been thinking about the ERA.

Were you also thinking about mood rings and Supertramp?

Flo Avery was right.

An amendment to the Constitution is the only way - to make civil liberties permanent.

- Oh, no I think it's a mistake.

It's a dead horse.

A lot of people don't even know the history of it.

Worst-case scenario: they get an important civics lesson.

What are they gonna do, impeach me?

- Oh - Oh, all right, okay.

I think it could get traction, particularly with young people.

- You mean the non-voting bloc?

- Not just kids.

40-and-under.

It's not a dead horse to them.

It could be a brand-new pony.

I love it.

(THUMPS DESK)

Saddle up.

And get happy.

ELIZABETH: Good afternoon.

- OTHERS: Good afternoon.

I am here today to announce that I am reviving the ERA initiative.

The first Equal Rights Amendment was introduced in Congress in 1923, and subsequently reintroduced in every session of Congress for half a century, until it finally passed both houses of Congress in the early 1970s.

But then it was only ratified by 35 states.

It needed 38 to pass.

Since then, our society has made so much progress toward equality of the sexes.

It is about time we update the Constitution to reflect the reality that all people are created equal and shall be treated so under the law.

The thing is, language matters.

And the language of our Constitution doesn't go far enough to recognize the rights of all our citizens.

Not yet.

So I invite the American people to join me in this overdue campaign for inclusion.

Thank you.

HENRY: Hey.

Oh, wow.

That looks like something important.

ELIZABETH: It's a seating chart.

Stevie's letting me help her with it.

(EXHALES)

Wow.

Our daughter is getting married.

I know.

We're gonna have a son-in-law.

- HENRY: Yeah, I'm up to speed.

- Hey.

- It's me with an annoying update.

- ELIZABETH: Can't wait.

Your new ERA initiative is facing a vocal public opposition from none other than Ohio Senator Amy Ross, who is vowing to fight you in the Senate.

AMY: This would be a gratuitous alteration of the Constitution.

And it's entirely unnecessary.

We should all be wary of rushing to alter this sacred document.

President McCord is trying to stoke a political fight that will pointlessly divide this country along gender lines.

I intend to stop it dead in its tracks.

(REPORTERS CLAMOR)

MIKE: So, item next.

Heads-up from the IC that a coup is imminent in Venezuela.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

How imminent?

Well, General Julio Diaz has established a resistance movement and is publicly demanding major concessions from President Alvarado by tomorrow, or he's threatening to unleash a civil w*r to topple the government, which could put our regional agreement in jeopardy just in time for the first daughter's nuptials.

The hell it will.

Oh, wait, do you guys have a second to talk about wedding logistics?

- I live for it.

- What's the problem now?

I-It's not really a problem, really.

It's just that ever since this has become a White House wedding, everybody is angling for a ticket; I'm being flooded with requests.

Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to lobby for the ERA votes?

Against the backdrop of a traditional wedding ceremony?

As if to say, "See?

We can all be equal "and still participate in a time-tested, "ancient, sexist ritual, wherein a virginally attired woman is passed from one man to another.

" - That is not what - No!

The invite list is locked.

What did I say?

We are not politicizing this wedding.

And nobody's having a damn coup.

He's starting to scare me.

Senator Ross.

Good to see you.

Amy.

And it's always good to see you.

The Armed Services Committee is grateful for the work you do with the V. A.

Oh.

Thanks.

I'm glad to hear that.

I'm on my way to the president now.

Little early.

Well, I hope you have a productive talk.

Henry?

Just curious.

What's your take on this?

I'm 100% on board.

Well, of course you'd have to be.

No.

I'm a liberated first gentleman.

Even though the 14th Amendment - already guarantees women equal rights?

- Theoretically, it guarantees equal pay, but that hasn't worked out so well.

I am concerned that the ERA will strip women of all of the legislative protections that we fought tooth and nail to enact: Social Security benefits for stay-at-home moms, which I was, and widows, which I am.

Uh, food subsidies.

Uh, workplace safety.

They're only necessary to try to help level an uneven playing field.

(CHUCKLES): No.

They're necessary because of 10,000 years of evolution.

Men and women aren't the same, no matter how much we'd like to make it so.

Sometimes separate is good.

But the proponents of the ERA, uh, don't don't acknowledge that truth.

And opponents don't acknowledge that separate is so often used as a pretext to prevent equality.

This isn't about sexism.

It's about reality.

The worst thing about this crusade is that it won't work.

It won't fundamentally change biology or the requirements of motherhood or, uh, how men and women interact.

Because men and women are different.

Yes.

But different doesn't mean inferior.

And women have been fighting to prove that they're not since the inception of this country.

I find it odd that the first female president can't acknowledge the tremendous, tremendous progress we've made Of course she acknowledges it, but she also knows that we can't keep fighting case by case and bill by bill.

Laws can be overturned, which is why we need to make equal stature a fundamental tenet of our society.

If the president overreaches, she can't know what the cost will be.

You have grandsons, right?

Four.

Didn't I read somewhere that one of them won a national debate championship?

Jonathan, yes.

He's a he's gifted in rhetoric and argument.

- Hmm.

(CHUCKLES)

- Imagine that.

Yeah, um, because it was modeled for him by a great woman.

Can you imagine how proud he'd be to know that all of the opportunities that you fought so hard for were enshrined in the Constitution, largely because of you?

BLAKE: Senator?

The president is ready for you.

I see what you're doing, Henry.

Not bad with the rhetoric yourself.

Oh, wait till you get a load of my wife.

ELIZABETH: It's the rehearsal dinner.

- (STEVIE AND HENRY CHUCKLE)

- Can you believe it?

So sweet of you, by the way, to drive with Dad and me.

That means a lot.

It's very sweet.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

Well, I, um I thought that it would give us a chance to talk.

- Absolutely.

What's on your mind?

- Oh, listen, sweetheart, no matter how old you get or how many kids of your own you have, you can always come to us with anything, about anything.

- I know.

I know.

- Well, except for little problems in your marriage.

- It's not good to triangulate, so - Well, no, not the little things.

- You know, but everything else.

- I just mean it's better for - they work stuff out for themselves.

- That's what I'm saying.

- Henry, I'm saying the big - I mean, if she leaves the toilet seat up - Guys.

Guys.

- But I-I'm not even interested I get I get Thank you.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- (TAKES DEEP BREATH)

- How's the ERA going?

Oh, God, we're not gonna talk about that tonight.

(WRY CHUCKLE)

That's what I want to talk about.

Okay.

Um Senator Ross is being pretty intractable, and without the support of her caucus, it's an uphill battle.

- We don't have to think about that now.

- So, that's Yeah.

No.

I heard that, you know, everybody in town is, like, angling for an invitation to the wedding, and that would kind of be, like, a really good way to whip votes.

- We would never let that happen.

- No, we wouldn't.

Never.

- Don't Are you worried about that?

- Because I think maybe you should.

I talked to Dmitri about it, and we agree.

I mean, we can't think of a better way to honor our future family, you know?

Especially if we end up having some baby women.

(SIGHS): Oh, I want those.

- We know.

- (ELIZABETH AND HENRY CHUCKLE)

- Baby men are pretty cute, too.

- Oh, babe.

- Guys.

- Why can't Let's just let's go get the votes.

Please?

- Anything for you.

- (LAUGHS): Okay.

- And those babies.

- Babe.

Sir, I have the Venezuelan resistance leader, General Julio Diaz, on the phone.

(PHONE BEEPS)

General, good evening!

JULIO: I know why you are calling, Mr. Jackson, but it will be to no avail, let me assure you.

The president has received his ultimatum, and now it is time for action.

Well, I'm not calling about any of that.

I just, uh, I just wanted to invite you to a wedding at the White House.

A wedding?

Yeah, the, uh, president's daughter's getting married.

(CHUCKLES): It's the hottest ticket in town.

We'll have to get you on a plane right away, so that means you'll have to postpone plans for the weekend.

But, hey, White House wedding's a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Sadly, the same can't be said of a coup.

I would be honored to attend.

I'm very happy to hear that.

Look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

- (PHONE BEEPS)

- I'm sorry.

I thought there weren't supposed to be any politics at this wedding.

Oh, trust me.

That's what I'm doing.

If he's at the wedding, he won't be able to start a civil w*r that will destabilize the region, force Elizabeth to miss everything but the wedding vows.

World only has to behave - for 24 hours.

- (PHONE VIBRATES)

Oh, for the love of God.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah JASON: Come on, man.

You're CIA.

You can do this.

CIA doesn't use medieval weaponry.

You know, we don't have this tradition in Russia.

Hatchet throwing?

No, bachelor parties.

Well, I couldn't let you miss out, man.

- We're gonna be brothers!

- Yeah.

You found my cousin Vlad, and you got him here.

He's a fun dude.

A little too much fun, so How do you guys say this in English?

You guys are kittens.

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

Yeah, it's something like that.

- (OTHERS EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING)

- RUSSELL: Jason McCord!

What the hell are you thinking?!

JASON: It's a bachelor party.

Hatchets?

Seriously?

For God's sake, there's a strip joint down the street!

You want us to go to a strip joint?

I want you to go home.

Your Secret Service detail filled me in on how your night was shaping up.

You are standing for photos with the President of the United States tomorrow, and you are not gonna be hung over or sporting hatchet wounds!

Go!

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

RUSSELL: You will not believe the day I've had.

Suffice to say that stopping a coup wasn't the most difficult part.

Jason McCord decided that the only thing missing from a traditional bachelor party was hatchet throwing.

Russell, what are you doing?

Just trying to pull this wedding off.

I want you to hear me say this.

I'm not the person you tell about your day anymore.

Understand?

It's over.

All of it.

(LINE CLICKS)

Oh, my goodness.

Look at you.

- Mom don't.

- You're in your wedding dress.

My baby.

(SMACKS LIPS)

- Mom, I mean it.

- And this dress - Do not say anything sentimental, okay?

- This is - I'm not no.

- We can do this later, but I am not gonna cry before the wedding.

No, no, it's too soon to cry.

We're not gonna cry right now.

That's - Mom!

- Look at you!

ALISON: The dress okay?

- (SHRIEKS)

- I was working on it till midnight.

Perfect.

Sisters.

- Mom!

- I know.

- I know.

I know.

I know.

- (ALISON LAUGHS)

(CORK POPS)

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

- Ay-oh!

(LAUGHS)

- Oh.

Come on!

I can't believe it.

- I can't believe you came all this way.

- Oh, come on.

- Are you kidding?

I wouldn't miss this.

- Oh, Jay.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Hey.

- Hey.

But I-I have to say it.

I leave for five minutes, and you almost get yourself impeached?

Well, clearly, you were the glue.

By the way, there was a massive, uh, rally in Amsterdam during the impeachment hearings.

We were in it.

- I thought I saw your faces on the news.

- You're gonna see a lot more of our faces soon, 'cause I'm on a house-hunting mission.

We're moving back!

Oh, Jay, that's fantastic!

Annelies is having a baby.

(GASPS)

What?!

Oh, my goodness!

(LAUGHS)

We're having a baby.

Isn't that something?

- Oh, my gosh.

Here, here, here.

- Chloe's excited.

- Oh gosh.

- (LAUGHS)

So if you know anybody who's looking for a policy wonk, will you put in a good word for me?

Anybody'd be lucky to have you.

Wow.

Well, here is to everything.

Cheers.

I'll drink to that.

GROUP: Cheers.

Wow.

They'll let anybody in the White House.

- Hey!

- (LAUGHS)

- How are you?

Good to see you.

- Yeah.

Oh, you're looking very West Coast.

- Oh, I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

- Yes.

Matt, you remember my fiancé, Trevor?

Trevor.

Oh, wait.

The-the the finance guy from college.

Oh, wow.

I'm sure that was a flattering story.

(LAUGHS)

- Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you, too.

So, how's Hollywood treating you?

- Hi!

- Hi!

- (LAUGHTER)

- Oh.

Wow.

Ah, they're treating me like royalty.

It's weird.

- They love Washington.

- Hmm.

I mean, I just got staffed on this sci-fi show about the first robot president called Computer in Chief.

It's pretty cool.

- Mm.

- Oh, political shows are never accurate.

- So how about you?

Where did you land?

- Uh, home.

Turns out, being exonerated from a crime doesn't get as much press as being accused of one.

It's gonna take a few months for the stigma to wear off, but in the meantime, I'm just enjoying being a mommy.

Well, there's always Dancing with the Stars.

Not there yet.

You should do Dancing with the Stars.

(CHUCKLES)

What is this?

A hair of the wolf?

Um, okay, we say "dog.

" And also, no, it's just coffee.

I'm still hurting a little.

Did you get a spray tan?

This is what you do in America.

- WILL: Jason?

- Okay, cool.

Did I see something on your Instagram about hatchets?

Yeah, that's It's a long story.

Uh, Uncle Will, Cousin Vlad.

Nice tan.

Hey, Russell, this is my son Zach.

- Hey, Russell has my old job.

- Dad, I know.

It's nice to meet you, sir.

Likewise.

Uh, this is General Julio Diaz from Venezuela.

Encantado, general.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Gracias, joven.

- (CHATTER IN SPANISH CONTINUES)

- This is Zach?

The kid you always described as a fat loser?

Yeah, I don't know what happened.

He got tall.

He also got into Yale.

Mostly because of lacrosse, but he seems to be learning stuff.

So, when do we start whipping votes?

Uh, after the ceremony.

We'll let the booze and the, uh - the "I do's" soften them up first.

- Genius.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES)

I can't tell you how much it means to us that you're doing this.

- Are you kidding?

It's an honor.

- (SIGHS)

I got my ordination back in the '60s when it was all the rage, but for some reason, no one's asked me to officiate - in a long time.

- I don't know.

Maybe they thought you were busy.

Uh, forgive me for talking shop, but I wanted you to know how much I'm with you on the ERA initiative.

I know how embattled you might feel.

Thank you.

Just don't let anyone tell you you're tilting at windmills.

I appreciate that.

Well, what do you say?

(LAUGHS)

- Should we get these kids married?

(WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYING)

(MOUTHING)

(MOUTHING)

(MUSIC ENDS)

Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we are gathered here today to witness the love and commitment of these two bright, shining, young people, who represent everything we love about this country and everything we hope for its future.

No pressure.

(LAUGHTER)

Stevie and Dmitri are part of a generation who will remake marriage as a more equal partnership.

But, goodness knows, the world has heard me talk enough, so I invite you to say your vows.

Dmitri I'm so grateful that we found each other again.

I've always been a little bit afraid of good things, so (CHUCKLES): Like, Christmas made me nervous.

And, uh, get anxiety about vacations, because great things will inevitably come to an end.

When you left for Alaska, and I thought I was never gonna see you again, and I was suddenly just drowning in this feeling that I-I'd been trying so hard to avoid for my whole life.

So I struggled coming back to you.

You know, the fear of losing you twice.

But a good friend gave me some advice.

He told me that Jane Austen was wrong about love, and that I had to let you go.

But, uh, in defiance of his advice sorry, Blake - (LAUGHTER)

- I'd like to finish with Jane's own words.

"I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.

" So, thank you for making me happier than I deserve.

Well, mine's - going to be a lot shorter.

- (LAUGHTER)

When I look at you, I see a life I never dared to dream of for myself.

You and your family have done more for me than I could put into words.

Thank you for bringing me life.

I will never leave you again.

I am home.

Well, that settles it.

- (LAUGHS)

- But, uh I still have to ask.

Stevie, do you - I do.

- (LAUGHTER)

Me, too.

Then by the power vested in me by an ad in the back of Rolling Stone magazine (LAUGHTER)

I pronounce you married.

You may kiss each other equally.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

("THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT" PLAYING)

Someday When I'm awfully low When the world is cold Okay, I'm gonna carve out the next ten minutes to lobby the senators.

Uh, I think the three of us should split up.

Oh.

Hey, go dance.

We got it.

We got this.

No, Mom, I want to, okay?

So, I'm gonna take Senator Cupp, uh, 'cause his wife is active in the human rights community, - and she already likes me.

- Ride the guilt.

- That'll play.

- Yep.

You take Senator Randall.

I happen to know he's a huge fan of yours.

Okay.

Senator Ripley is an egomaniac who only responds to power.

Sounds like the job for a president.

How about two?

Once more unto the breach.

Everybody in on three.

That's Yeah, that was probably too much.

There goes one impressive gene pool.

- It is that.

- Hey.

Go get in good with the middle one.

Get us in this family.

("GOD ONLY KNOWS" PLAYING)

I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you You never need to doubt it I'll make you so sure about it God only knows I've been thinking.

I have a pitch for your next chapter.

Um, just curious.

How long were you in Hollywood before you started using the word "pitch"?

You got to play the game you're in.

And, look, it brings me to the point.

Los Angeles is the place you go to reinvent yourself.

Like I said, they got this thing about D. C.

I think you could be a big hit.

Uh, doing what?

We can start a podcast.

About two Washington insiders who got out.

I'm gonna call it Washington Insiders-Out.

Yeah, no, you're not.

Okay, then you pick the name.

(CHUCKLES)

Daisy, the sun shines every day there.

The houses have yards for dogs and kids.

And I miss you.

What I'd be without you.

Attention, everyone!

Everyone, may I have your attention?

I would like to make a toast to the newlyweds.

(FEEDBACK HUMS)

So Thomas Aquinas walks into a bar.

(CROWD GROANS, EXCLAIMS)

Bartender pours him a big goblet of mead and says, "How you doing?" Aquinas says, "Oh, not so great.

"I've been working on this treatise for seminarians.

"Uh, basically explains all the major points of Catholicism.

"It could be the most important "theological document of our time.

"I even thought of the perfect title.

"Summa Theologica.

"So, I-I finish it, and I misplaced it.

"I can't find it anywhere, and I can't understand "why God would inspire me to do this "and then allow it to be taken away.

What is God trying to tell me?" Bartender says, "Eh.

You win summa, you lose summa.

" (GROANING AND LAUGHTER)

I never, I never get his jokes.

No.

I HENRY: Stevie, Dmitri, this is what I know about marriage and life.

You win summa, you lose summa.

(CHUCKLES)

But the true test of character is how you celebrate the victories and endure the losses.

And believe me when I tell you, both are better when shared with someone that you love.

You know, one of the things that I admire - about Aquinas - Oh, Henry.

Uh, come on was that he was inspired to teach beginners.

Now, you guys are hardly beginners at life.

(VOICE BREAKING): But you're beginners at marriage.

(CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES)

This is your first day as a wife and husband.

Begin this journey with caring and-and patience and love and laughter and passionate curiosity.

Be each other's teachers.

And know that you are surrounded by people in this room who love you, who will teach you.

(APPLAUSE)

And invite us over a lot, would you?

And especially your mom.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHUCKLES)

You know, in my family, I was, uh, sometimes (CHUCKLES)

known as the Stevie whisperer.

So, without further ado (WHISPERING)

(CROWD MURMURING)

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

May God bless you with a long and happy union.

CROWD: Cheers!

(WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)

("SHOW ME THE WAY" PLAYING)

Ladies and gentlemen, the first dance for the first newlyweds, Stevie and Dmitri.

(APPLAUSE)

I wonder how you're feeling There's ringing in my ears And no one to relate to 'Cept the sea Who can I believe in?

I'm kneeling on the floor There has to be a force Who do I phone Hey.

Russell.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

And all I really want Look, I know, uh I know you don't want to hear about my days anymore.

I just I just wanted you to know why I've been k*lling myself to make sure this wedding goes off without any political interference.

It's 'cause I realize how much politics got in the way of my life with you.

I mean, hell, I missed the best man's speech at our own wedding 'cause the poll numbers were coming in from the Des Moines city council election.

I know.

Yeah.

Well, I can see no reason You're right.

I (VOICE BREAKING): I never chose you first.

And now that I've lost you, I realize that none of it mattered then, and none of it matters now if I can't share it with you.

A fool to play this part So, starting today Someone thought of healing If you will let me, I am choosing you first.

Now and for the rest of my days.

Show me the way I want you Here's proof.

It's my resignation letter to the president.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Day after day Madam President, I'm sorry about the timing, but I have to tender my resignation.

Oh.

(CLEARS THROAT)

It's been an honor to serve you.

Thank you.

I reluctantly accept this napkin.

(EXHALES)

Carol, thank you for your sacrifice.

He's all yours.

Right here today I watch you when you're sleeping That's when I want to take your love Oh, won't you Show me the way I want you May I have this dance?

Show me the way (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Day after day I want you Day after day (RINGING STOPS)

Ooh Oh.

- Ma'am.

Oh, hey, Henry.

- Hey.

- Well, I have some cautiously good news.

- I'll take it.

The ERA is officially gonna pass both houses.

- We have the votes.

- (CHUCKLES)

Well, I would say that's officially good news.

But now we're up against ratification, and the polling on that isn't as promising.

Which means that we're gonna have to have a strong ground game.

And I've been doing a little thinking.

You just feel free to tell me if you think it's crazy.

Whistle-stop tour.

You mean, like like, on a train.

- Full Teddy Roosevelt.

- And Truman and Dwight.

Taft?

- Well, Taft.

- No, not Taft.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

What do you think?

(CHUCKLES)

I think it has a lot of character, just like the president.

Oh, you're very good at this job.

Thank you.

I'm on it.

Ready for a road trip?

- Sure.

- (CHUCKLES)

Have to do something while we're waiting for grandkids.

(SIGHS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)

(BELL CLANGING)