01x10 - Should Have Known Better

Romy: I'm trusting you not to let the shrink lobotomize me.

He wants to help you.

You know about my mom.


Red is a healing colour.

So what then? After the one red wall is painted.

I don't know. Is that so bad?

Andrew: I just want to spend as much time as I can with you.

Natalie: The person I wish I was feels the same.

And the person you are?

Feels she needs to get home to her kids.

I'm always there for them.

You're gonna have to cut out the weird s*x stuff.

Nicole: I don't want any of the details.

Look, I can explain...

No, I don't want you to.

We have a 6-year-old boy. His name is Julian and he's beautiful.

I'll get the abortion. But why is it so easy for you to give me up?

Oh! What are you doing?

Oliver: Tom's dead.

Now his son is contesting the estate.

Dude! You can win this!

But I'm thinking about refusing it.

I'm worried you could be hypomanic again.

[A local research team]

[is studying a drug that's stopping the progression]

[of certain cancers. Your workup fits their profile.]

Romy: I'm looking for David.


He's my father.


Just thought if I'd called first, that you would have said don't come. Hey, Natalie. Please.

Hey. Natalie!

You'd be right.

Look. I am... sorry. I'm really sorry about what's happening to you.

I mean, you look good, though.

Who told you?

You did write about it.

You read my column.


When I want to know how the kids are doing.

Romy... she called me.

Thought that I should know. She sounded like she needed help.

From you?

Look, I'm not here to get in the middle of something.

I just, I felt compelled to get on a plane and let you know that if there's anything, anything at all...

David, what the hell are you even talking about?

We haven't seen you for years.

I know, I know.

I don't, I don't know. I just, I know that I'm here now.

You wanna help me?

You will stick around just long enough to arrange for my brother and his wife to get custody of the girls.

That would mean that I would be...

Signing away your legal rights as their father.

Uh... Oliver married a woman?

Matthew, David.


Somehow I don't think that's why Romy called me, Natalie.

I don't. I mean, how would we even go about doing that? How does that work?

I'll find out.

Go that way.

I don't want them seeing you.

(soft piano music)

(machine humming)

(theme music)

(bell ringing)


Abby: I don't like that cheese.

You said you'd eat a grilled cheese.

I want the other orange cheese.

This kind of orange?



Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.


Good parent-teacher meetings?


Teachers love you.

Did you buy this garbage?

It's a guilty pleasure. Yeah.

Sorry, Abby said she want...

It's completely synthetic.

I'll scramble her some eggs.

Wanna get your stuff? I'll take you home?

Yeah. Bye.


"The Failings of the Public Education System."

Romy, this is a very thoughtful and well researched set of arguments...

Thank you.

But the point is, we both know that the topic of your exam was the history of the fur trade.

How is that in any way relevant to my life?

Hey! It's relevant if your teacher says it is.

Which was the entire point of writing this.

No one listens to me.


Being listened to is a two-way street.

So Luke says that you've stopped talking to him.

How is it confidential if he reports back everything I say in there?

OK, you know that he was going to keep in touch with us and you told me you were gonna try.

He's only worried for your safety, Romy.

He just wants to help you.

Or does he want to help you?

Telling you everything I say in there?

Romy, you need to knock off all these games, OK?

Says the person playing keep-away with Dad.

He came back to help and she wouldn't even let him.

I've just asked him to wait until certain things are sorted out.


Your assigned hours have been set.

I know. I'm saying they conflict with the seminar on math vectors that I need.

I'm trying to get into an architecture program, and if I don't have all the prerequisites...

You miss hours, I gotta tell your probation officer and she could order your detention.

You mean send me to jail?

I'm only asking to reschedule.

Talk to your probation officer, but it takes at least two weeks to apply to change anything.

Seminar will be over by then.

quietly: You don't care.

Sorry about earlier. It's always a dietary minefield at our place.

Have you been able to see your dad since he's been in?

Why would I want to do that?

Not even curious?

Did you know him?

A little bit.

What'd you think of him?

I liked him.

He was smart. People were drawn to him.

Hey, look. I know he left and didn't stay in touch, and I'm not saying that was the right thing to do.

But when you get older, you'll see... things that should be easy...

I don't know; they sometimes aren't.

You do realize how lame that sounds, right?

Yeah. Yep.

Honey, I'm home!

What are you doing here?!

Why? Am I banished?

No, I just... I... don't you have a legal matter you should be attending to?

That's why we hired a lawyer.

You're traveling light.

Since being evicted, I have unburdened myself with everything except this painting.

OK. So that's it? You're here for good?

I don't know. Staying limber.

Well, the way Tom set you up, we better be splitting the rent.

How often are you flying?

I'm on around two sorties a week.

So what's going on with you and Dad?

Have you spoken to your father?

Over email.

He hasn't said much about what happened or why, but...

I just want you both to be happy.

I am. I am happy.

You think eventually you could be in each other's company without all the drama?

Absolutely. I'm sure we can.

(distant children yelling)

Caleb: Hello?

(door closing)


Hey, man.

How long have you been back?

Landed yesterday.

I have 10 days' leave.

Caleb's been on yard duty since Dad left.

Yeah, I just needed to talk about the grass seed.

Alright. Are you still at home?

Yeah. Uh, how's it going over there?

Intense, but an experience.

Get whatever you need.

You're still at Concordia?

Yeah, for a couple more years, anyway.

I should buy you a beer one night.

Sure, yeah. Anyway, uh... welcome home.

Alright, yeah.

Uh, I heard from our lawyer.

He needs two days to get the proper agreements ready.


You think David will stick around long enough to sign them?

Sorry to keep you waiting.

It's OK.

Uh, nice to meet you, Natalie.

Hi, and you. This is my brother, Matthew.

Hi. Nice to meet you.



Thank you.

So I know this is daunting, so I try to spend as much time as I can with each candidate to make sure that they have a grasp of the science.

So you're proposing a new inhibitor?

My brother's a doctor.

In a related field?


I'm sorry. Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt.

Different kinds of T cells are what our bodies use to naturally fight cancer.

But when malignant tissue binds with certain receptors, this effectively turns off your body's immunological defense system.

And the drug you're testing blocks the protein which causes this.

In theory.

So basically, it's stimulating the body's own response to the disease.

This treatment has shown good results with some lung cancers, and we're studying how it interacts with the drug that you're on now.

Yes, in a randomized controlled trial.

(throat clearing)

Um, what this means, Natalie, is that we split our subjects into two groups.

There are those who receive our drug alongside their Sunitinib...

And those that take a placebo.

Right. But it's blind, so you won't know.


Well, worse-case scenario is I still get the benefits of the drug that I'm taking now.

Well, no. We're studying the interaction between the two drugs, so the worst-case scenario is that they get along poorly.

And that could mean?

Poor dosage interaction, potential side effects could all weaken your body's response.

What kind of side effects are we talking about?

Oh, certain common ones.

Nausea, fatigue, skin rashes, gastroenterological problems.

I can't guarantee the severity.

(men's voices blend together)

But it's possible, though unlikely...

(mixed voices)

Guys. Guys?

Really is dangerous, the two of you in the same room.

Bottom line?

This could really slow your disease considerably... but we don't know if it will.


Why don't you read this, and take some time to think about it?

Paternity law? Romy...

It doesn't seem fair he's being forced to do this.

Do you think they're holding a gun to his head?

Like Mom gave him a choice.

What's the last thing you remember doing with him?

When I was 10, he was supposed to take me camping. I was really excited.

We were gonna go fishing. But on the way up it rained, so we turned around and by the time we got back home, it was sunny again.

It was just the way he was, like how we stopped talking after he moved.

First he would call, but I guess our conversations didn't go the way he hoped.

You remember that?

Talking to him on the phone?

Do you?

Why are we discussing this?

I just don't understand why it's so easy for him to sign us away.

(loud thump)


What's wrong with her?


Is she breathing?

I think so.

Oh, my God. Mom?

Call an ambulance.


Abby, stop running.



(slapping footsteps)

Abby, come here! Come here.

It's fatigue and anemia, and it can be managed with rest and with IV fluids. So...

She'll be OK.

Can we see her?

Well, they're saying not yet.

There's nothing we can really do. They think we should go.

Um, we should probably take Abby back.

You go. I'd rather be here.


PA: Dr. Harris...


Come on, kiddo.

Bye. Bye, Mom.

Say bye. Bye everyone.




PA: Pathology.

(scattered voices)

You're up.


Ugh. I assume the whole cavalry's here?

We spared Mom and Dad.



How are you feeling?

Like an idiot.

Traumatizing the kids over nothing.

They're fine. And this isn't nothing.

Will you stay at the house tonight?

Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

It had a shape, then it was shapeless, and now... it has shape again.

I don't see it.

Try standing up.

It's about overloading your brain. Seeing beyond the fragments, and asking it to reassemble the pieces.

It all just looks broken to me.

Oliver and the kids went to scavenge for food.

And just left you here alone?


It's OK...


I'm sure they'll bring you back something.

(distant siren)

PA: Dr. Bertrand to pediatrics, Dr. Bertrand.

I've spoken to the attending and she agrees you're stable.

I feel much better.

That's good.

They'll send you home first thing tomorrow.

Hey, since you're here... any word?

Yes, I've seen the results of your scan.

Your body's responded to the medication.

It has?

There's no remission, but the rate of growth has slowed.

But the treatment's working?

As much as I could have expected.

Does that mean... does it mean I could have more time?

I know this is frustrating, but I still can't answer that with much certainty.

PA: Dr. Wilshire...

We haven't discussed the drug trial.

I know. It's a difficult decision.

It obviously comes with major risks.


I mean, now you're saying my present treatment's working...

It is, except you wouldn't be a candidate for this drug trial if your prognosis was...

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I'm with you, Natalie, whatever you decide.

Thanks for coming, Norah.

Get some rest.

whispering: OK.


I know. I'm not supposed to be here.

Feel any better?



Come here.


Did you hear all that?

Because this trial, I don't want it scaring you.

And I don't even know if I want to do it.


It's OK. I can handle it.

Well, maybe we shouldn't discuss it with your sister just yet.

Maybe not.

But I do think you should take her to see Dad.

I did not!

You did, but it wasn't that Halloween.

When Kevin threw up on the old lady down the street? It was.

It was '98.

No, it was '99, and I remember because I dressed up as the Y2K virus.


Who'd I throw up on?

Well, she's dead now, but this retired teacher from down the block.

Yeah, and while we weren't looking you ate the peanut brittle and went into shock.

Paramedics came and everybody watched while they stabbed you with adrenaline.

This is smelling.

Why would I eat peanut brittle?



What happened between us was a mistake.


It's my fault and I'm sorry.

I let things go way too far, but it's over now.

And you have to see that, because if anyone finds out...

Look, I just wanted to say, in case you saw the ambulance, that my mom's fine.

Ambu-What happened?

False alarm. Fatigue.

She's spending the night at the hospital, but...

Oh, Caleb.

Is there anything I can do?


Anyway, she's fine.

Get up.

Right now. We need to talk.


What's wrong?

Your sister says I need to hear the truth.

She what?



And if your sister knows, then your whole family probably knows, so I better know too.

whispering: OK.

I did try to tell you this before, but you didn't want to hear it.

Now I do.


This, uh, this woman...

Nic, Nic, it's true. It was really only a few times, but... but... we... we have a son.

And he's almost 7 years old.


I know, I know.

But, but this, it...

What's his name?

It's Julian.

And I see him from time to time. I send money. He thinks I'm his uncle.

But lately I felt that that wasn't enough, so that's why...

That patient of yours. The waitress?

Beatrice, yeah.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm this safe little doormat. That's how you see me.

No, Nic, I love you. No...


Don't touch me!


You've been lying to me about this for 7 years. 7 years!

Which means what? That you f*cked this woman "only a few times," when?

Around the time I had those surgeries for my endometriosis? When we were begging the Chinese government to let us have Abigail?

I'm sorry!


I'm going to my sister's with Abby.

You t... take a couple days and then pack your things. Just go.



♪ You've been waiting in the dark ♪
♪ To figure out who you are ♪
♪ In a way I didn't learn ♪
♪ Yes I thought it would all fall ♪
♪ Get out of my head ♪
♪ Get out of my life ♪
♪ Can you? ♪
♪ Get out of my heart ♪
♪ Mmm ♪


My friend from the room of hairless bitches.

You told us you felt alone.


You told me to embrace the powerlessness.

How'd that work out?

Yeah, it's not really me.

But thanks anyway.

What are you in for?

Fatigue and anemia.


They're cutting out a piece of me tomorrow.

How big?

Big enough.

I should be sleeping.

Yeah, me too.

I'm scared.

Me too.

But hey!

What's the point of fear if it doesn't make us do the sh1t we're afraid of?

(small laugh)

whispering: Yeah.

Sit with me a sec?

Yeah, sure.

PA: Dr. Bertrand to pediatrics, Dr. Bertrand.


I thought you quit.

Wait, is today, like, the real thing?

Like, the actual triathlon?

I am so not ready for it.

Do you want us to come?

No. And don't tell anyone.

It's going to be carnage.

Good luck!

(car honking)



So last time I saw you, I was, um... having some legal problems.

Right. Those are all cleared up now.


Anyway... since you're still seeing Romy...

Actually, she maybe kinda fired me.

She did? That girl...

That makes us...

Still a bad idea.

Even if your niece wasn't between us, you don't live here.

I don't live anywhere.

Homeless, huh?

That's an attractive quality in a man.

Good to see you.

You too.

(throat clearing)

I'll be downstairs.


No, I mean, I'll be waiting in the car the entire time.

Mom, I know.

We met because I interviewed him. Your dad.

Did I ever tell you that?

I was writing for the school paper.

He was a TA who had organized a rally to protest the oppression in Venezuela.

Isn't dating the story against some journalistic code?

He was a cool guy.

I'm sorry, OK? I guess I just...

You guess?

I saw your wife just sitting there, distraught. Something had to give!

We were working on it!

With Natalie getting worse, it's... Maggie, she's already home.

You can't take the girls in with this hanging over your marriage, OK?

It's not fair, with everything they're going through.

Even if that's true, that was not your decision to make, Maggie.

You're right, you're right.

You should have made it.

She didn't wanna know!

She did not want to know!

I understand you're upset, OK? And I know I deserve it.

But in the moment, I felt it needed to be done.

Well... congratulations. My marriage is over.

I don't want to see you.

I don't want to speak to you. Ever again.

So you're in 7th grade?

8th. I skipped 7th.

So you're smart.

That's what they tell me.

No, I mean, I knew that. I knew that you would be smart.

I mean, you were speaking in complete sentences by the time you were 10 months old.

That was Emma.

Mom told me I barely said a word until I was 18 months.

Oh, yeah, that's... I'm an idiot, that's right.

I'm so sorry. I remember...

I remember, because we used to say that you were studying the world. You were soaking it all up before you were ready to speak.

And then, and then when you did, it was... it was amazing.

It was just amazing how you saw things and...

Just not amazing enough to stick around for.

whispering: Ouch.

So what about your other son?

Uh, Jesse's 12 now.

Does he go to an English school in Buenos Aires?

No, we haven't been there for a while, actually.

We did my sabbatical in Prague, and the year before that I was a visiting professor in Japan.


Uh, are you hungry or some...

I could order up ice cream.

I'm not hungry.

Do you wanna talk about it?

It was fine.

(heavy breathing)


Can't breathe.

(short breaths)


Just hang on, alright?

Hey, hey, hey. Shh.

It's OK. It's OK, Romy. Slow breaths, OK?

It'll pass, I promise.

I love you.

You're gonna be just fine.

Aw, my little girl.


(truck beeping)

[Carl Riley speaking.]

It's Oliver Lawson.

[Hi, Oliver.]

I know you said something about how they'd give us the money lump sum right away if we took their settlement?

If you take half.

I know; it's cool. How fast do you think that could happen?

I can get the papers to you next week.


I can't believe I'm hearing this.

Yeah, but I mean, you understand, don't you?

You would have done the same thing, right?

No. And Maggie?

This ruins all of my plans.

You can see that, can't you?

But you wouldn't want the girls going into that house right now anyway.

Where else are they gonna go?

Hey, here's the thing. I've been thinking about it, and I thought... I could do it.


Yeah. Why not me?

You can't be serious.

What's wrong with me?

You don't trust me?

Maggie, come on.

You know how much I love those girls.

It's not about that. What would this be to you, other than some half-baked passion for you to beta test before it bores you?

I honestly can't believe that's the way that you see me.


You should know I'm gonna be in serious trouble for telling you this, but there's something we all need to do, right now.



(clapping and cheering)


You were in the hospital.

Oh, I never should have...

Hey. I shouldn't have hired Jim without telling you.

I'm sorry. About everything.

Don't be. You're a good friend.

And anyway, we're, we're moving on.

Speaking of which, I have news.

Jim came over last night, and we got to talking and uh...

No way.

What happened to the slut?

He's leaving her for me this time.


Ah, D, I'm... well, I'm without speech.

Maybe we can do it right this time.

We gotta run.



Hey. Oh, my God.

Wow, you got... you're a man.

I didn't think that I would see you.

I'm not here for me.

Look, I, uh, I know that I don't deserve anything from you. I know that.

Stop. I don't wanna hear it.

But Romy does.

It's not too late for her.

Maybe Emma, I don't know.

Yeah, Romy was here.

Yeah, I don't think it went very well, to be honest.

It's not gonna happen after one visit.

If you want a chance with either of them, you're gonna have to actually try.

'Cause who knows.

They might even need you.

I see. But you, you won't.


Well, if you change your mind.

If you decide to make an effort, you better follow through.

(clapping and cheering)

Ah, no. Did we miss it?

I don't know. These look like the fast ones.

You know.

Mom and Dad?


sighing: OK.

Hey, they get another grandson.

Who could be upset about that?

I'm so sorry I let you down.

I know you are.

I don't even know how things got this far.

You tell Emma I said she's the best, OK?

What? Wait! No, no, no.

No, no. I'm just...

Hey, stay and you, you tell her yourself.

No, I can't. I can't.

Yeah, you can. Come on.



How did you...


He came to see you.

Yeah. He seems good, you know?

Strong, his own man. Maybe a little angry, but...


Look, I know that I've made some mistakes, but maybe it's not too late to fix it.

What exactly does that mean?

Writing a book and consulting. I mean, I can do that from here.

I don't want you to.

I know.

I know you don't, but they're my kids too.

Right? And I think they might need me.

Now, they need you?

I'm not going to sign anything.

You're breaking my heart.

(cheering and whistling)

woman: Woo! Come on, girl! You can do it. To the track!

Let's go, Emma!


Come on, Emma! Let's go!

You go, girl!

Come on, Emma!

You're almost there!


Come on, let's go, Emma!

Come on, Emma!

Oh, good girl! Congratulations.

My girl.

Sorry I told your secret, but I promised I'd be here to see you finish last.

Well, I did.

Aw, not quite.

♪ There is a house ♪
♪ Built out of stones ♪
♪ Wooden floors ♪
♪ Walls and windowsills ♪
♪ Tables and chairs ♪
♪ Worn by all of the dust ♪
♪ This is a place ♪
♪ Where I don't feel alone ♪
♪ This is a place ♪
♪ Where I feel at home ♪

Yours. You're very welcome. And what else?

(voices mingling)


♪ And I built ♪
♪ A home ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ And now it's time ♪
♪ To leave ♪
♪ And turn ♪
♪ To dust ♪

Hey, you two.

We're still celebrating, right?


I'm a candidate for a drug trial.

I've known about this for a few days and I've been deciding what to do about it.

There's a chance that it could do a better job at controlling my disease, but it is experimental, which means it's also something of a risk.

What kind of a risk?

One that I want to take.


(piano music builds)