02x03 - Coping Cards

To Raz, my husband. OK, we're not married-married, it's more of an arrangement, really. I needed a place to live, he wants to be able to stay and work in the country.

You don't get to disappear for a decade, then come back and have an opinion about what's best for those girls.

So I'm taking you to court and I'm having your legal rights as their father revoked.

She's made these plans for who's supposed to take care of us if she dies. Could I come live with you?

Does that mean yes?

Means we can explore it.

Romy needs structure, not a struggling artist with no stability. If you take her in, that means her mother has died and we've lost a sister.

Do you really think you're capable of handling that?

I can make like 200 bucks if I drive all day.

Is that what you're doing when you're out pretending to study?

What do you do when you're pretending to look for work?

You know what you're gonna do?

I'd even work at a fast food at this point.

What about your wife?

The last time I came home, she'd changed the locks on my door.

You're just here 'cause you wanna feel better about failing.

Watch yourself.

No. What kind of asshole toys with my sister's kids because they're, what? Some sort of consolation prize...

What happened? Are you OK?

Doesn't matter, 'cause I do wanna fight. I wanna fight for us.

I'll do anything, 'cause I want this marriage. I want you.

I love you. Just talk to me.


Just... just gimme a minute.

Did we overdo it?

You OK?

Yeah, it's just the dizzy. It's good.

Means the drug's doing something.

[Upbeat music]

♪ There's a storm coming ♪
♪ A storm coming. You can feel it ♪
♪ In the air ♪


♪ The wind's singing and the ghosts are swinging ♪
♪ On the seesaw by the stairs ♪


♪ There's a storm coming ♪
♪ There's a storm coming ♪
♪ The kids are all inside ♪


♪ The windows are shut tight ♪
♪ And everything is quiet ♪
♪ Oh ho oh ♪
♪ Oh ho oh ♪


♪ Oh ho oh ♪
♪ Oh ho oh Oh ho oh ♪
♪ Oh ho oh ♪

I thought we were friends.

[Music playing]

Good morning.


Wow, this looks great.


Oh, Shannon, this is Maggie.

I'm the roommate.

Oh, are you hungry?

No, I'm good.

You sure?


I'm 100% not cool enough to work there.

More like a solid 85.

Does this say: "Buy trendy, overpriced clothes from me"?

What about those ripped jeans you wore to Sadie's?

Um, they don't even have a label on them.

Why do you care so much?

Because this is the only interview I was able to get. Am I so completely un-hireable?

In that sweater, maybe.

Does this seem like a rational fear to you?

Thanks for caring.

Mind if we leave through the garage?

What, your mom doesn't want you bringing girls back here?

It's just easier if there's nothing to explain.

I mean, I'm not looking for a commitment right now...

Jesus, dude, relax! I'll sneak out and you'll never see me again.

I'll drive you to the metro.

I keep reminding myself that feeling side effects is a good thing.

Lets me know the drug's doing its job.

You're the only person I know who can put a positive spin on feeling like crap.

Well, I'm talking a big game but I've been sneaking around all morning, trying not to let the kids clue in.

They're going to eventually.

Yeah, I know.

I'll talk to you later, OK?

OK, take care. Bye. - Bye.

I bet everyone else is in flats.

Yeah, and if they aren't, then I'm going to looklike a child.


Hey, how are we feeling?

Completely imploding, but it's OK.

It's an interview for a clothing store, not NASA.

Not helping.

You look great.

You don't.

Still dizzy?


It's worse than usual?

And we were expecting some rough days, right?


No, it's OK. I got it.

And you've got this. Just be yourself.

Anything you don't know, they'll teach you.

Should I feel bad about doing this today?

No, by all means, continue to focus completely on yourself.

You're not my oncologist.

You called Basra over here?

Well, I just... I texted her and she offered to stop by.

OK, so we're at, what, DEFCON 5? Or 1, I never know.

Anyway, where do you need me?

Danielle, I can deal.

Says the person who was just up in her bedroom hiding.

Well, I'm not now. Look, thank you for offering, but I... I wanna keep things as normal as possible, OK? If you come in and start unloading the dishwasher, I...

You'll call me if you need me?

I will.

D, I promise.


Mommy, what are we doing today?

Go have your cereal, honey.

We'll go to the park after.



How's everything going with the trial?

I could be experiencing stigmata, Dr. Lyle would say it's in the realm of normal.

The science of medicine.


Go ahead and vent if it makes you feel better.

The man's a robot.

So, this dizziness...

How bad is it?

Scale of 1 to 10.

Closing in on 8.

I did a lot yesterday.

Could that have brought this on?

No, we knew this was coming.

The drug has reached a higher level of potency, which causes a spike in the side effects.

Will it get worse?

Very likely, yes.

Who's around to help today?

My kids, but... but I don't want to completely traumatize them.


It's already stressing them out, and...

I'm afraid once they see me like this, that's all they'll ever see.

If what they see is you toughing it out on a hard day, then they'll know that you can.

At the very least call Matthew. Or your mother.

I need to know that someone's looking in on you today.


Doctor's orders.



They're called coping cards.

You write stuff down that stresses you out and then things you could do to make it better.

I think it's helping.

That's cool.

I've decided to go a little "Rorschach" with it.

You wouldn't be you if you didn't.

[Phone buzzing]

[Whirring sound]

Oh, do you hear that?

The fridge is making that sound again.

I'm a gonna have to call the repair guy.

Let me handle it.

You should be taking it easy.

Uh, Caleb?



I can make a phone call.

So can I.

And last time we called that guy, he way overcharged us.

OK. Thanks.

There is something else that I could use your help with.

It involves your father.


Well, you must have noticed that there's something going on between us.

Other than you ignoring his calls?

He won't agree to my plans for Matthew to take Emma and Romy.

So I'm asking a judge to make it so I don't need him to.

How would that work?

Well, you're not a minor, so it won't affect you, but for the girls, it means... he will lose his legal rights as their father.

Where do I come in?

Well, my lawyer says it would help to hear from you about the effect of his absence.

Also about what things were like when he was around.

It's not like he ever hit us.

He barely even yelled. I...

I don't know what I'd say.

Well, you'll give it some thought?

Shouldn't you go lie down?

We can talk about this later.

Yeah. That's a good idea.

We're going out, so I'll see you Tuesday when you pick up Abby for dinner, OK?

So, uh, we're right back to this, then?

You thought I'd do what?

Let everything go because you showed up drunk and bleeding last night?

I just thought we could at least talk.

You were a wreck, I let you sleep it off, Matthew.

Yes, so I'm not even allowed to say hello to my own daughter.

I understand why that upsets you but it will confuse her if she knows you slept here.

You don't think my indefinite banishment to Grandma and Grandpa's house confuses her?

I know it does.

We can't keep up this lie about my dad's back much longer.

Which is why I think we should tell her we're separating.

So what, you're... you're not even gonna let me try to fix this?

I don't see how I could ever trust you again.

You're thinking that I was out there building another life with another family but it wasn't like that.

And now I just...

I wanna make things right.

OK? With everybody.


My passwords are on the key chain. You can read every message, you can see every dollar spent, for as far back as you want.

Look, don't make a decision without all the facts.

Thank you.

Please don't be here when I get back.

[Spraying sound]

You really think you can fix a fridge?

What happened to calling someone?

I'm doing something for Mom.

Hm. Me too.

Keeping the food from spoiling.


Uh, do I even wanna know what is happening here?

Caleb's helping Mom by disassembling her very expensive appliance.

How is she?

[Banging sound]

This seems like drastic measures.

You said you needed me.

It's everything you need to know.

Romy, I don't know what this means.



Romy? Oh, you're up? Great. We want your opinion.

Come on.

Check out our little career girl. All grown up.

Cute! Isn't it just a little too "street performer" for a job interview?


[Phone beeping]




Are you OK?


You looked through it?



He's such an asshole.

I knew it.

What d'you find?

Nothing yet.

Not a single thing.

What, you want to find something?


I don't know. It's absurd.

He... he has a son outside our marriage, but... I'm supposed to somehow feel better because he wasn't dumb enough to keep a journal detailing all his lies.

The man can cover his tracks, I'll give him that.

He thinks he can just... tell me he loves me and then put the decision on my shoulders to forgive him, and if I can't then I'm somehow the bad guy.

Even if you could, he's got this other kid now. I mean, how'd that work?

Unless you're looking to become a sister wife.

Yeah, funny.

I guess I just don't like any of my choices.

Then find new ones.

"How likely are you"

"to give it up if a potential partner suggests you 'bump uglies'?"

Less than zero?

I can't argue with that.

"Rate your sexual aggression on a scale of cheetah to sloth."

I'll put you down for penguin.

"What time of day are you at your sexiest?"


This is not helping.

Anyway, you're the newlywed.

Shouldn't you be doing this?

No, I told you my marriage is no different than anyone else's. Totally sexless.

I have a hard time believing you'd consider celibacy long term.

Not a chance, but... it is the perfect situation for a "s*x bandit" like myself.


All of the security, with none of the attachment.

s*x bandit?


"Love 'em and leave 'em: you don't waste time or affection, but you always get yours."

Wouldn't that be nice?

Seriously? You know, we can trade lives for a day if you wanna try it out.

So is Raza on board with this whole puritanical arrangement?

Yeah. In fact, I'm pretty sure he consummated our marriage with some random last night.

And you're OK with that?

Yeah, totally. Keeps things simple.

You sure you don't wanna trade lives?

I also have a lightning-fast metabolism and fabulous hair.

Would that we could, s*x bandit.


Can I help you?

Uh, I have an interview with Lianne.

Just sit over there.


Heard we were in need of some hydration therapy?

What happened to your face?

Don't you have somewhere you're supposed to be, like a honeymoon, maybe?



It's fine.

You two need to work this out.

What happened to your face?

I fell.


Oh... Wow.

You're really going all out with these, huh?

Mom thinks it'll help me.


Please tell me this is not about getting your period.

The Big Crunch.

The reversal of the Big Bang, imploding the universe and all life as we know it.

You know, I was 13 once.

The only time I actively did what my parents wanted was to distract them from what I was really trying to get away with.

Seems like you're taking a more... direct approach now.

Yeah, well, I'd rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

What if they don't forgive you?

Romy, what's going on?


There better not be some sweet little old lady drying up in the hospital on my account.

No, I only steal from my cruelest little old ladies. How do you feel?

Like every cell in my body is conspiring to murder me.

Well, this IV should help.


Ah! Sorry, sorry.


Ow! Expect a poor Yelp rating.

I haven't done this myself for years, so...


[Phone buzzing]

It's David.

Uh, look...

You should know that I, uh... I saw him.


After the circus at Maggie's yesterday, we, uh... we kind of ran into each other.

[Electronic music playing]

OK. So, as junior associate, we want you to encourage the shoppers to try something on, then give them every reason to say yes.

So, give me three words to describe this look.

Casual, cute, and... fun?


Let's say someone came in asking for bodycon.

What would you pick?

No. More like this.

Um... how would you define your own style?

Like... casual, and... cute?

And fun?

I see you dressed for the occasion.

How's Natalie?

Putting on a brave face, as usual.

Definitely not up for any surprises.

Were we planning some?

Apparently. Romy clued me in about your decision.

I said I'd float the idea to Natalie, I didn't say for sure I'd take her in.

That's not what Romy thinks. Her heart is set on this.

Still don't think I should do it?

I think you can't raise this with Natalie today.

And Oliver, if it's not gonna happen, you need to let Romy know.


Just like that?

Coming in?

Um, no, I'm good.

I'll rinse off downstairs.

Hey, so, this makes six calls you've ignored. Last chance to talk before this has to get messy... or.

Come on, Nat, just call me back.

He's rattled. He's rattled, he's scared he's gonna lose the girls forever.

Did he... did he talk you into defending him to me?

What? No. No, if anything, it was the opposite. He...

David hit you?


Oh, my God!

Matthew, what were you thinking? I'm fighting him in court.

If he thinks that I sent you there to... intimidate him, he's gonna use that against me.

I know, I know, it wasn't my finest moment, but...

Natalie, there's something you should hear, OK?

Kate's thrown him out.

For all we know, he's only here running away from his second family.

He says he's changed, but clearly he hasn't.

And that's why he's calling to get ahead of that.

Because he knows I'll use it.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Do you really think it's a good time to get her all riled up?

I am helping her.

Can I not help my own sister?

Look, I wanted to apologize for how I handled things with Nicole, OK?

I'm sorry.


That's it?

What do you want me to say?

That you accept my apology, that we can move forward?

She won't forgive me. Why should I forgive you?

Matthew, if you really think you're the victim here...

Spare me your insight, OK?

Just go back to trading s*x for rent, OK?

Wow. You know what? Whoever hit you should've hit you a lot harder.

Oh my God, stop! Both of you.

If you're incapable of putting your personal dramas behind you, then you have to leave.

[Chuckling] Right now.


I must've shorted something.

I'll call a repair guy.

On your way out, please.

I hear that the universe never gives us more than we can handle.


Whoever lives in that universe is really lucky.


Everybody's hungry.


What's for dinner?

[Phone beeping]

[Phone beeping]

Hi, stranger.

Hey, pal.

Oh, I may be channeling The Exorcist, but not even the power of Christ could get me to take that right now.

You're in the weeds, it'll pass.

Will it?

I don't even know if that stupid drug is helping.

Come on, there's only one way to find out.


Hey, do not make me call Mom.

I will. She'll come over here, she'll sing to you and make you cinnamon toast.


This is blackmail.

So it was quite the scene here today, huh?

Oof, yeah, it's a mess.

I'm a mess.

I just want everyone to get through this day in one piece.

The kids saw me lose it at Matthew and Maggie before.

I'm sure they deserved it.

Matthew and Maggie, not your kids.

Romy's in her room, I'll go check on her.

Hey, could you take her out for a walk or something?

Give her some fresh air.


Thanks. I'm glad she has you.

She trusts you.

Apparently, I'm not the right fit.

Pun painfully intended.

That's lame.

And you know the stupid part?

I actually really wanted this.

How are things at home?

Pukier, sweatier.


I guess I'll see you soon.

Hey... sorry.


And you were right about the shoes, by the way. Totally the wrong call.

One of these days you'll learn to listen to me.

See you later, bye.

I get that I didn't ace this, but I really want this job.

Just tell me who you need me to be.



[Doorbell, Knocking]



Hey, uh, I need to... I need to see your mother.

She doesn't want to see you.

Come on, Caleb. Five minutes.

Go back to Bora Bora or wherever and leave us alone.

Hey, what is that? What are you doing?

Weren't you the one who told me to make an effort?

Yeah well, you tried, and failed.

Yet you're still here making things worse for Mom.

Oh God, this family. I'm not gonna get an inch from anybody, am I?

Why should you?

In case you haven't noticed, we're better off without you.

What's going on in there? Seriously. Is everything OK?

Mom's really sick today, OK, and there was a thing with the power.

Maybe I should come in. I know my way around a panel.

I already told you, I'm not letting you in here.

OK, well, tell me what I can do, Cal.

OK? Just name it. Whatever it is, I'll do it.

You can leave.

Ice. We need ice.

Just leave it on the porch and knock.

Two sentences.

Former investment banker turned stay at home dog parent.

That's one sentence.

Colour codes his socks.

One sentence.


Closet Taylor Swift fan.

You said that one last time.


Mom told you to get me out of the house, didn't she?

But you didn't... tell her?


She knows something's up with you, though.

Romy, I don't know.

I'm... irresponsible, and I have no steady income.

You know? There's about a thousand more things you could say about me that would horrify a mother like yours.

You're changing your mind?

I'm sorry.


Don't do this, please.

You can't count on me.

That's not true.

I'll only let you down.

You won't.

We both know I can't replace your mother.

I'm not asking you to.

Whatever it is you're not saying...

Say it. Tell me the truth.

I don't wanna do it.

Sorry, Romy. I never should've said yes.



[Rock music]

[Phone chirping]

[He lowers the volume.]

[Phone chirping]

[He turns the volume back up.]

All this technology and we still can't produce a drug that doesn't make you feel worse than the disease?


What time is it?

Um, around 7?

Basra told me to focus on making it through the day.

I'm working on a minute by minute basis.

Do you want me to get her back here?


Just call a coroner, 'cause I'm pretty sure this is it.


I've never been good at the nurturing part.

Whenever Kevin was sick, I'd call my mother to come over.

I really just need a distraction.

Just tell me something that makes my problems seem insignificant.

I think I need to leave Jim.


I know, the whole thing's just ridiculous, isn't it?

You're serious.

I'm kind of a mess. I'm drinking again, I hate being at home...

I never should've taken him back.

Oh, D...

I just wanna get my life together.

You know, like Liz Taylor the third time.

I've even been Googling those "health spas" you hear about.

Ugh, take me with you.

Oh, I think you have your own battles to fight.

And what if I decide just to tap out?

Um, I'm sorry, have you seen my friend Natalie?

Brilliant, beautiful, strongest damn woman I've ever met?

I swear she's around here somewhere.


I met with Martin Bissette today.

Our... what, our financial planner?

I've decided to transfer some funds from our joint bank accounts to one in just my name.

I'm sorry, when you say some funds...?

Half of what's available in cash for now.

And we're meeting next week to discuss my financial future.


Because I wanna make my own decisions about my own money without having to answer to anyone, Matthew.

OK, OK, but what does that have to do with you trusting me again?


That's the point. There is nothing you can do that will make me trust you again.

At least this way I know Abby and I are covered until you and I sort out whatever we have to.

Nic, I would never let you or Abby want for anything.

And now we won't.


Mom! Mom! Mom!

What's wrong?

She won't wake up. You have to go get help.

Mom? Mom!

Mom, we need help! Mom?


You're frightening the children, Natalie.

Maggie called, said you might need me.

I do.


So, did you get it?

That's my girl.

My little girl...

How are you feeling?



Oh, thank you.

The fridge, not so much.


It doesn't matter.

About Dad...

I'll say whatever you need me to in court.

Thank you.

Mom, uh... I dropped my classes.

And I'm not going back in the fall.

♪ Take me to your own ♪
♪ Universe ♪


♪ I wish to put my life ♪
♪ In reverse ♪
♪ My grief, my wound ♪
♪ Is the same as yours ♪
♪ I'll keep you safe ♪
♪ It all ends soon ♪

Good day?


No Shannon tonight?

Hm. We're pretty casual.

Oh, is your sister OK?

I think so. Thanks.

OK. Good night.

♪ One by one ♪
♪ One step ♪
♪ Beyond ♪



Thank you.

I promise I won't ask all the time, but something came up at the last second and... No...

My boss really wanted me to show up...

No, it's fine, really. Feel free to reach out any time you want.

OK. Love you.

Hey, buddy.

What are you working on here?

A puzzle.

OK. Blue for sky, that's good.

These vegetables were actually ripe for a stew anyway.


Well, I'll just put some more chili powder in.

It covers a multitude of sins.

Wanna be useful?

Not really.

[Cat meowing]

You've got a cat?

Uh-huh. Mom found him.

His name's Jude.

Ah, St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes.

Kind of like this dinner.



Way to go, guys! Perfect.

Ooh, something smells good! Let's eat!

You made all this on the barbecue?

Yeah, with all the food you left out to rot.



Ohh! That's lovely.

[Talking and laughing]

♪ Beyond ♪