02x05 - Happy Hour

[Low low low la la la love love love's "Burrow" playing]

♪ The weight of fears above the burrow ♪
♪ Of teeth and fur and blood ♪
♪ I clear my throat at a circle of sky ♪
♪ From the back ♪

[knock on door]

♪ of the hole I dug ♪
♪ I'll bolt out into the snare... ♪

Lisa: "Dear your father's c**t, what an insightful article you've written about my gym. Your searing insights gained by spending countless hours in my gym, absorbing my philosophies on fighting and the blood, sweat, and tears of my team are truly astounding. Mario Goldsmith, you, sir, are in the pantheon right next to that m*therf*cker who wrote all those lyndon Johnson books."

All right.

"Oh, wait. Never mind. I've never even met you, never f*cking heard of you, but I know your kind. You're the spawning infestation of micro-cocked little bitch bloggers who take shots at people who are out there actually doing real sh1t. Nobody likes you, bro. You're a f*cking zero. You have no friends. Jesus Christ, himself, wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire while holding the virgin Mary. Keep up the good work, player. Have a nice day. Yours in perpetuity"...

Didn't even know you knew that word...

"Alvey 'your king' Kalina."

Alvey Kalina, maker of men, father of three, and business owner.

I was drunk.

Yeah, you're one of those, too.

Nobody reads that jerk-off.

They do now. This went viral.

There are lists and comments.

"He's come unhinged."

"f*cking nuts."

You made Mario Goldsmith relevant.

[Laptop lid thuds]

Know your enemy, tough guy.

The enemy is you.

How much weight are you gonna lose?

Um, like 30 pounds.

Are you starving?

I could eat.

You're a masochist.

Yeah, and you're...

You're the other one.

A sadist?

Yeah. I will take that.


Sorry I got annoyed, but [clears throat] you were interrogating me.

I just want to know what's going on in your life.

Yeah, and then get mad about the parts you don't like.

Some guy I've never f*cking heard of is taking you to the Getty.

You're wearing expensive lingerie.

All I have is expensive lingerie, Jay.

Who else are you sleeping with?

I mean, should I be wearing a condom?

Excuse me?

Are you f*cking this guy?

Don't talk to me like I'm at your gym.

I'm sorry. You're right. That was crass.

Are you f*cking this gentleman?



You're a pain in my ass.



His name is Paul.

We lived together for five years.

The house is his. And, no, I'm not f*cking him.

He's just paying for you?

No. Just the house.

And he's taking you to gala events.

He likes to take me because I know all of his business partners.

It's just... It's easy for him.

What's he do for a living?

He's an entertainment lawyer.


[Smacks lips] Mmm!

Is he rich?

Does it matter?

I don't know. Does it matter to you?

If it mattered, I'd be with him, and I'm not.

I'm with you.


I told my friends about you.

You did?


What did you say?

That you're crazy...


And that I'm having a sexual awakening with you.

Wow. A sexual awakening.

I told them that I've never come so much in my life.


Oh, wait a second.

Even more than with Paul?

Way more than Paul.


Paul was too big.

I couldn't take it unless I was really drunk.

What's wrong?

I'm answering all your questions.

You're a f*cking sadist is what you are.

A little. Wait, look.




Look at these features, huh?

I mean, the f*cking cheekbones right here?

Are you kidding me? I look like an angel.

Look at that.

[Camera shutter clicks]



Oh, you look good.

Thank you.

[Air hisses]

Drew: Try it.

That's original flavor.

I'm pregnant. I probably shouldn't.

Ah, it's harmless.

Every ingredient on that can is natural...

Or a near-perfect synthetic match.

Okay, drew, I've got a lot of other meetings with sponsors.

What do you want to do?

I love Ryan. You know that.

But I was at his last fight. He did not look good.

He was sick.

I can only go off what I see, and I'll be honest with you, the personal stuff... It scares me.

He put his dad in a chair.

He was punished.

I'm handing you a world-class fighter with a redemption story.

The thing is he's never addressed the father thing.

What's their relationship?

Is he helping the guy out, or has he got him stashed in some home stewing in his own sh1t?

Ryan never talks about it. It makes him look arrogant.

The timing's just not right for us.

This is the last time you'll be able to afford him.

Do you have any female fighters?

Rick: That's right! Don't stop running till you get to the border!

Get out of my f*cking house!

Hey, what happened?

Stay out! You made a mess!

No, no, no. Don't leave. Don't leave.

You made a big mess! Now just go!

Don't come back!

Stay out of my f*cking house!

You stay the f*ck out!

You tell her to stay the f*ck out of here!

[Engine turns over]

What happened?

Watch yourself. Watch yourself. There's glass.

What happened?

I told her I wasn't thirsty, and she kept sticking that goddamn straw in my face.

[Sighs] f*ck.

If you keep running off all these nurses, there's gonna be no one left, dad.

It's a simple job.

You water me and feed me. I'm a f*cking plant.

But that goddamn woman...

She's trying to do the Tijuana waterboard on me!

Okay, dad, you can't say that sh1t.

Come on.


But, hey.

I lied.

I am thirsty.

[Pill bottles clacking]

I want you to get me a drink.

A real one.

You sure you're... Allowed to do that?

Does it really matter?

Yeah, that's a good point.

Thank you.

Now, let's be a couple of outlaws and get me a f*cking drink.

[Chuckling] Okay.


[Exhales sharply]

Yeah, why not?

[Music playing]

[Indistinct chatter]



[Breathing heavily]

Alicia, right?


I'm Alvey.

No sh1t.

Joe says you've been coming in at 6:00 in the morning.

Yes, sir.

Every day?

Every day.

All right.

Wrap your hands up. We'll move around a bit.


[Natural Child's "Let The Good Times Roll" plays]

♪ And I've been all over ♪
♪ gettin' these good times ♪
♪ And it's hard to watch 'em roll past my shoulder ♪

Cory: You look good.

I can tell you're in shape. You take care of yourself.

You'd be surprised how many guys show up looking like sewer sh1t.

But not you. Not you. I like that.

You got to take those glasses off.

[Music continues]


Got your bell rung, huh?

No, I'm good.

All right. Don't got to worry about me.

You say you're okay, I take your word for it.

Medical suspensions? [Chuckles]

That's for the f*cking nanny state, and I don't play that bullshit.

But do me a favor. Put the glasses back on.

You're giving me a f*cking headache.

So, what's the deal?

You got a spot on this card for me or what?

I can find a spot for you.

It's in Fresno. It's only a week out.

It's not a problem.


Who's the guy?

Local kid named Vargas.

He's aggressive. Not a lot of skill, but he's a tough m*therf*cker.



If either one of you's a few pounds over, I'm not gonna dock you.

I'll make it.

Even better.

Unfortunately, though, not a lot of money.

I just want the fight.

All right.

It's a deal. I'm excited.

Your old man gonna be okay with this?

Don't worry about him. He's fine.

Yeah, I won't worry about him when he's ripping my f*cking dick off.

Do you need me to sign something?

Good. Relax.

Look what you're doing with your shoulders, right?




Don't be wild. And turn it over.

Nice and relaxed. Yeah, we're having fun.

You're not leaving yourself any room.

So, what is she doing wrong?

You need to stay back. You're crowding your punch.

Crowding your punch.

You come in here, you're not getting the full extension.


The first one is here, here, and here.

You know what it's setting up?

Look what's coming, right?


If you throw it and you stay there, what's gonna happen?

I'm gonna knock you the f*ck out, all right?

Good. Come on, move.

Move. Here I come.

Here I come. Here I come.

Here I come.

I'm not doing anything.


Get out of the way! Just pivot out!

Pivot... come on.

That's not gonna help you.

What do you want to do? You tell me.

I mean, we could do mitts.

We could just hit the mitts, or you can learn how to fight.

Got it.

Move. Breathe and move.

Don't cross your feet.

Turn it over.

Turn it over.

Turn it over.


Good. Hook.

Come on. Ah, ah. You're loading up on me.

You're loading up on me. All I need is this... boop.

Nice and easy.

Okay, sorry.

Okay, don't apologize. Right hand.

Angle out. There you go.

Show me you can throw one, two, three.

You need to get that elbow over your shoulder.

Not this. This.

One, two, three.

All right?

Can I do that again?

"Let's do it again," she says. You want to do it again.

One, two, three. Good.

Look where you're standing. All right?

In and out.


Right? Get used to missing.

I want you to throw one, two, and then just keep it away from me, all right?

One, two. Good.

That's it. See?

You're moving, you're moving, you're moving.

Keep me away from you.

Move that head. Good.

And keep moving. Right-hand hook.

Nice! Again. Strong. Good!

Now, right-hand hook, go under, hook again.

Under. To the body.

Good. Perfect. Angle out.

Elbow out. Don't cock that left hand.

Just throw it. Come on!

Come on. I knocked you out.


Good. Good.

Where's the elbow? Where's the elbow?


Don't stop. Don't...


You don't stop.

Okay! Come on!

Let's go. One, two.

One, two.

Good. You tired? You tired?



Come on. Come on, come on, come on.


Good. Just get that elbow up.

Over the shoulder. Good.


Nice. Good.

[Clippers buzzing]

What the f*ck, man?

Would you go in a stall or something, please?

I'm almost done.

[Buzzing stops]

High and tight, per the lady's request.



Young man, why are you here?

I have a tennis lesson.

Mm, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Very funny. Very funny.

You're supposed to be healing up, Nate.

I feel fine.

You know, eat, drink.

What's the rush?

I have a fight.

Who with?

A guy Juan hooked me up with.


Well, you're on medical suspension, so if this sh1t's in California, it's shady as hell.

[Locker door closes]

[Sighs] Does Alvey know?

Doesn't matter.

I'm taking the fight.

Okay, then.

See you out there.

[Knock on door]

How you feeling?

Lisa: I'm so tired I can barely move.

What did the doctor say?

Apparently, feeling like sh1t is perfectly normal.

[Door closes]

You know, if I could carry this child for you, I would.



You're amazing. How did I ever find you?

The universe f*cking loves you.


You see me work with your girl?

I did. What do you think?


She doesn't know what the f*ck she's doing.

She got some talent.

What's her story?

She's had a few fights.

She's got a shitty record.

She's bounced around a bunch of gyms, and she had a falling out with Marco over at team elite.

So if she's a f*cking head case, why do you even want to get involved with this one?

I think she just needs some guidance.

And I've already had some sponsors asking about her.


Slaughter Water.

Did you pitch Ryan?

Yeah, they don't want him.

He has an image problem I have to figure out.


Too f*cked up for Slaughter Water.

How'd that happen? Yeah?



Mario Goldsmith can be here by 4:00.


You did not.

I'm just gonna apologize to him.

I'm gonna smooth things over.

You know what, I don't even care.

Just keep rubbing my feet.

Enjoy your meal.

Welcome to Patty Palace. Can I take your... Order?


Terry: I'll take a triple cheeseburger.

[Cash register beeping]

Extra onions... And chili.

And... Small root beer.

Would you like fries with that?

I would.

Thank you very much. I almost forgot.


[Cash drawer opens]

[Coins clink]

I'll just be sitting outside.

Welcome to Patty Palace. Can I take your order?

[Indistinct chatter]

You ready to work?

Where's Ryan?

He's with his old man.

How you feeling?

Deprived on every f*cking level, but ready to fight.

How you feeling?

I feel good. Thank you.

I'm gonna have you see a nutritionist, okay?

We'll cut the weight, and you won't lose so much strength.

You talk to Lisa?

I have.

A lot of other gyms that I can go to, man.

I'm not letting you out of the gym, pal.

You're too important here, okay?

I'm gonna give you everything I give Ryan.

I promise.

Hey, what do you think about this one... this girl?

Got to ask Ryan about that one.

No, come on. Already?



Now, do me a favor.

I want you to move around with her a little bit.

See if she's worth a sh1t. Come on.

Aye, aye, captain.

This is a f*cking good burger.

Did you make this?

I'm on break.

How did you find me?

Mm, girl's got to eat.

One of mine saw you here and told me.


I'm not here for you, love. Don't worry.

What do you want?

A couple of my girls got picked up and started talking to the cops, saying my name, talking about my business.

I've never said anything.

I know, Chris.

That's why you're still here enjoying your new life, spending time with your sons.

The other girls aren't so lucky.


Point is, if the cops do show up asking you questions, I hope you forget my name.

Of course, Terry. I'd never say anything.

Sure. I know you wouldn't.


Are you using again?



You've sure come a long way.


Do I bus me own table?

I'll do it.

[Sighs] It was good to see you.

Jesus, you are so pretty...

When you're clean.

Oh, yeah.



Oh, I missed that.

Give me another one.

Well, let's... you know, let's pace ourselves.

Take the goddamn governor off and hit me.

All right.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.




[Laughing] Oh, yeah.

[Burps] Ohh.

Am I drinking alone here or what?

Well, I drove, dad.

You can sleep it off in your mom's room.

It's up to you, though.



Smooth, huh?

[Exhales sharply]

That is, um, cheap whiskey.

[Laughs] It's affordable whiskey.

Your mom's a sensible woman.

She's been drinking that since she was 25 years old.

Drank enough to marry me.

You want some more?

Oh, yeah. Hit me again.

From the bottle.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.


I'm good.

It's your turn. Get at it.

Okay, nice and relaxed. Nice and relaxed.

Come on. Don't get sloppy.

Set it up.

No, you're hesitating.

Keep those hands up, Alicia.


Set him up. Set him up.

Jab, jab. Ah.

Circle off the cage. Circle off.


Jab out. Always jab out.

When you get in trouble, just jab out.

No, you're telegraphing those kicks.

You're staring right at his leg that you're kicking.

Jab, jab. Constantly moving.

Jab, jab, jab, jab.

Ah. Hips. Hips.

Get out of there. Hips.

All right, all right, all right.


You okay?





Just relax. Stop saying "f*ck."

Jay, show her how to do it.

Show her how to chamber the kick.

Jay: See how the knee comes off?

This is the only part I'm worried about.

Turn it. There you go.

Take a little distance.

Get in. Bam! That's it.

That's it. That's it.

Right here. Set up your hands now.

That's it. That's it.

Once more.

Nice! Nice! Nice!

Stop, stop. Take a break.

Keep the jab moving. Angle out.

Nine iron with a baseball bat at the end of it.


Alicia got to watch out.

I don't know what he says, but he's right.

[TV chatter]

Ohh, next.

[Cheers and applause]


Man: So we replaced...


Hey, hit me.


Hit me again.


Come on.



Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm, mm, mm.




Oh, that's good.

Oh, I love this one. This is the bear.

It goes fishing. Look at this bear.

Look at his big, old back feet.

Finally gets himself something to eat.

Yeah, 'cause he doesn't need a pole.

He just looks into the river.

[Cellphone buzzing]

I got to, um...

I'll be right back.

I love that bear.


Hey. How's your dad?


We're, uh...

I'm, uh, trying to keep up with him.

[Chuckles] Really?

His idea. Not my idea.

What am I gonna say? No?

Yeah, true. Might as well.

How'd it go with the sponsors?

Not well.

They love you.

They just don't think it's a great fit.

What did they say?

They weren't impressed with your last fight.

I told them you were sick, but the real issue is the stuff with your dad.


What the f*ck am I supposed to do about that, Lisa?

I already went to f*cking prison.

I know.

I think it's just getting people to understand what you've been through.

It's none of their f*cking business.

That's personal. I don't want to talk about that.

Maybe there's a way to do it that doesn't suck.

Let me think about it.

All right.

[Indistinct chatter]

Alvey: Yes?

[Door opens]

Mario Goldsmith's here.

Oh, yeah, send him in.

The poison pen.

How are you, Alvey?

I'm great. I'm great. Have a seat.

Thanks for coming.

[Sighs] You mind if I... Record this?

Oh, this is not an interview. We're just gonna have a talk.

I record everything.

I'd rather you not.

Thank you.

I want to apologize.

You really don't have to.

No, I do.

I reacted emotionally to your article.

That was a mistake.

You know, these people are my family.

I'd kill for them, but I shouldn't have said what I said about you.

Or my father's c**t?

[Chuckling] Your your father's c**t.

Got a little personal.

Well, you got a little personal, too.

I don't think so.


Came after me.

Came after my gym, my fighters.

You came after my son.

How is that not personal?

I write about MMA. That's all fair game.

Yeah, but your tone... You came after me.

How so?

Well, you were writing sh1t that wasn't fact.

Well, um, Nate lost his fight.

Ryan looked like anything but a champ.

What am I missing?

Perspective, for one.

That's a loss and a win.

How is that the downfall of my gym?

You worried?


[Chuckles] Come on.

Alvey, you got to be a little concerned.

Not a bit. And this isn't an interview.

Well, I appreciate the apology, but it's not necessary.

You know what, you haven't seen my gym, right?

Let me give you the 10-cent tour.

This way, the next time you butcher me, you know what the f*ck you're talking about.

Mind if I take some photos?

Whatever you need, Mario.

[Music playing]

[Indistinct chatter]

Hey. Lisa's looking for you.

She's in her office.

All right. I'll be right there.

What's up?

Shut the door.

I saw you training with Alvey today.

Oh, man, I f*cking sucked. I was so nervous.

He was impressed.

He made it a point to tell me that.

No sh1t.

No sh1t.

He still thinks that you've got a long way to go, but he's engaged, and that is a good start.

Look, I'll do whatever he says.

I mean, this is... This is all I care about.


'Cause I also had an interesting meeting with a sponsor today who is looking for a female fighter, and I thought of you.

What kind of money?

[Laughs] It didn't really get that far.

I just wanted to see if you were interested first.

f*ck, yeah, I'm interested. Are you kidding me?

What is it?

Mm, it's an energy drink called Slaughter Water.

You know what, I don't even give a f*ck.

I mean, dude, I'll freaking sponsor an abortion clinic for all I care.

Are you kidding me?


My bad.

It's okay. I'll set up a meeting.

I also wanted to find you a fight.

How do you feel about that?

I mean, yeah.

What do you and Alvey think?

I mean, what does... What does Alvey say?

We both agreed that it's got to be the right fit, but I'll start looking around.

Jamal: What are you doing?

I clocked out.

Employees can't eat in the dining area. You know that.

Does it really matter, Jamal?

It don't matter if it matters. It's corporate.

Take it to go.

Can I have my check?

Wipe that down before you leave.

Is this both weeks?

Jamal: Same as always.

You don't know me, but this is not me.

I don't suffer complicated women.

But Laura, you know, she's got me...

She's got me making exceptions.

So this chick lives in the same house she lived in with her ex?


And he owns the house.


And they're not f*cking?


So he's giving her a dope house for free, taking her to all these high-end events, and she's not giving it up?

Yo, I got to find me a guy like this.

You think she's full of sh1t?

Look, I don't know her.

No, but I'm asking for your opinion 'cause my instincts are askew.

No dude's ever given me anything for free, period.

If she's f*cking him, I don't know when she's doing it because I'm with her all the f*cking time.

Well, she's not with you now.

What, you don't think people f*ck during the daytime?

[Blender whirring]

Of course.

I mean, people f*ck at all times.

She could be f*cking him right now.

She could be f*cking him in Ojai or in a f*cking sailboat for all I know.

I appreciate your candor.

I'm both embarrassed and illuminated.

You did nice work today.

Are you gonna be with us tomorrow?

Every day.


Yeah, have you seen Ryan today?

Um, he's with his dad dealing with some heavy sh1t.

But it's not about you, so don't sweat it.

I don't.

Goddamn right you don't.

Alicia Mendez sweats no man.


Yes, ma'am.

[Music playing]

Alvey: Nate! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, what are you doing?

Sparring with Juan.

No, no, you're... No, no, you're not.

Come here.

I said no sparring until your head's right.

I'm fine.

You're not fine. You're not fine.

You're not cleared.

You're not f*cking training until you are, okay?

Done. Finished. Just do some cardio.

I got to train 'cause I took a fight.

You did what?

I took a fight. It's in Fresno next week.

Are you out of your f*cking mind?

You put yourself in a bad situation.

Hey, listen, I can train here or somewhere else.

It's up to you.

I'll leave right now.

Oh, will you?

What do you think this is, huh?

You making a f*cking... You making a choice here?

You're making a big f*cking mistake.

You understand me? You're gonna f*ck everything up.

I'll f*cking leave right now.

Oh, yeah?

Give me the f*cking word.


Ground only. No f*cking striking.

Got it?

Give me the gloves.

Ground only.

f*cking Fresno.

[Gloves thud]

f*cking idiot.

Here you go.

[Lounge music playing]

Wait. Hold up.


Sorry, I was in the shower.

No problem. I'll let you out over there.

Hey, thanks for working with me today.

Oh, you're welcome.

You're just getting started.

I feel like I'm not normally that bad, though.

It's those f*cking nerves.

Everybody gets them.

Is there anything to do around here?

Do? Like what?

I don't know.

Go grab a drink or something.

I don't feel like staying home.

You want to grab a drink with me?

We could do that.

We could do that.

Let's not.

You're a talented fighter. You have my attention.

No, I didn't mean that.

Oh, I know.

See you tomorrow.

Good work.

[Both moaning]

Oh, my gosh.

That was so good.

You are f*cking insane.

[Breathes deeply]

Well, I try really f*cking hard.


So I'm glad you noticed.


So, does this mean you're over your little freak-out?


No, I didn't f*cking have a freak-out.




Yes, you did.

No, trust me.

If I was f*cking freaking out, the police would be notified, helicopters would be deployed.

We'd have hounds released.

Well, can we at least be on the news?


Baby, it would be the top f*cking story.



I need a drink. You want one?

You know I can't have a drink. Don't tempt me with that.

It's empty calories, you little sorceress ViXen.

[Laughs] You're a woman!

Yeah, a woman you just f*cked.


I'll be right back.


[Cellphone buzzes]






I thought you were asleep.

I can't get comfortable.


Where you been?

I went for a drink.

You okay?

Nate took a fight.

No, he didn't.


Some shit-bag promoter. Doing it in Fresno.

I told him it was a big mistake.

He basically told me to go f*ck myself.

He's a grown man.

He can do what he wants, but this is not good.


I got to corner him. I can't leave him by himself.


Can't get a break.

What's that?

I'm having a glass of wine.


Doctor said.


Did I miss another appointment?

No, you're good.


In other news, Mario Goldsmith wrote all about his day at Navy St.


Those little fuckers write fast. You want to read it?

Nah. I'm not reading anymore.

f*ck 'em all.

I don't give a sh1t what they write about me.


f*ck 'em all.

I want to have s*x.

Right now?

Right this very moment.

With me?



And I only had half a glass of wine, so you can fill the rest of it up.

Oh, and don't be a gentleman. You're not gonna hurt me.

How's Paul doing tonight?

It's not Paul. It's my assistant.

Show me.


Because it is Paul?

Oh, my God.

Show me the phone.

Just show me your phone.

No. f*ck you. I'm not showing you my phone.

It's not Paul.

Why am I having a hard time believing that?


I don't know. Let's dig deep.

Yeah, let's... let's do that.

Maybe because of your mother?

Excuse me?


Excuse me?

She told me all about her addiction and how she left you guys and how it f*cked you up.

And I am starting to see that.

Have you even ever been to therapy?

No, I haven't.

Well, maybe you should try it.

Why are you letting this guy take care of you?

He's not.

He is.

He's giving you shelter.

So what are you doing in return?

What the f*ck are you giving him in return, Laura?!

You think I'm f*cking him so that I can stay in this house?

I think it's a f*cking reasonable f*cking suggestion, Laura!

Oh, my God, Jay.

Don't you think?

Not every relationship is transactional!

Every f*cking relationship is transactional!

That's the f*cking definition of a f*cking relationship!

I can't do this.

Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura! f*ck!

[Objects clatter]

I can't get you out of my f*cking mind!

You're f*cking with my head! I'm sorry!

I'm f*cking sorry!

I'm sorry. I'm jealous.

I'm a jealous f*cking guy.

I want you to go.

Please, Laura. I'm a f*cking jealous guy.

I want you to go.



[Music playing]


[Toilet flushing]


[Keys clack]

[Music fades]

[TV chatter]



Oh, sh1t!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I-I just went for a run.

I-I, uh...

I should have been here, dad.

When you put down an animal, it's an act of human kindness.

I don't want your mother to come here anymore.

She loves you, dad. I mean, we both do.

Ryan, that's enough.