01x02 - Penguin One, Us Zero

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Leftovers". Aired: June 2014 to June 2017.*
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Revolves around mysterious disappearances, world-wide, and specifically follows a group of people who are left behind in the suburban community of Mapleton. They must begin to rebuild their lives after the loss of more than 100 people.
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01x02 - Penguin One, Us Zero

Post by bunniefuu »

My kid wants to quit soccer.

You think I should let him?

Is he any good?

Nobody quits what they're good at.

So who the f*ck is this assh*le?

Wayne Henry Gilcrest, Jr., also known as Holy Wayne.

Messianic?

Maybe.

He lost a kid on the 14th, worked the colleges and malls for a while.

Claims he can hug the pain out of people.

Magic f*cking hugs.

Yeah, the only catch is he needs to, uh, charge his batteries with teenage girls; Asian ones, apparently.

Apparently.

We had him on 8 counts of statutory in Pennsylvania, but he went underground in April.

FBI got a tip that he set up shop at a ranch in Nevada.

FBI?

Guy's got a pipeline to D.C., sells his hugs to senators, I guess.

Well, that would make him a thr*at to national security.

If that's your assessment.

g*ns?

Got a couple dozen guys at the ranch.

Semi-pro, no expl*sives.

Civilians?

Followers are mostly dumb college kids, usually a couple on the ranch running errands.

He looking to get martyred?

Looking to get laid.

Heh!

[Sighs]

[Discards apple]

Ok.

Let's get him.

Man: Here we go! Go, go, go!

[Men shouting]

[Garbled radio chatter]

We got clear.

Cease fire! [Women screaming]

Don't do it! Come out!

Hands!

Hands up!


[Screaming continues]

Bedroom is clear!

No!

Where is he?

Where's Wayne? Look here.

Where is he?

I don't know!


Where's Wayne? [Other girl screaming]

I got one!

Do not move!

Do not run, you f*cking c**t!

Stop!

Do not f*cking move!

Hands.

Turn around.

Get on your f*cking knees.

Where's Wayne?

I don't know.

Where the f*ck is he?!

I don't know. Please.

I'll f*cking k*ll you right now.

Please! I don't...

Where is he?!

Don't sh**t! I didn't do anything!

Are ready to die?! Where is he?!

Right now. Oh, no! I don't...

Please, don't!

[g*nsh*t]

Tom: I'm sorry, but she's important.

[Man wheezing]

[Coughs]

[Gasps]

[Distant g*nf*re] Come on.

Come on, let's go, let's go.

[Whimpering] This way.

[Screams] It's ok.



Come on. I got you.

Ok, go ahead.

Go. Ok.

[g*nf*re continues]



Aimee: Hey. Mr. Garvey. Mr. Garvey, wake up.

Aimee.

Hey.

Aimee, you... You can't be in here.

Shh.

It's ok.

I need you to come with me.

Come on.

He wants you to see.

You have to be quiet or you'll scare them.

[Distant owl hoots]

What... what are you doing?

Aimee: Shh. She's right over there.

Do you see her?

[g*nsh*t echoes]

[Soft crackling]

Hey, Chief, watch your feet.

[Crackling]

Woman: Put it out, Paul.

Man: Got a little out of control, but it'll go out.

Woman: Paul, put it out now!


sh*t.

What the f*ck, Paul!

Woman: I told him not to do it here.

Paul: Jesus, Ginnie, the heat's out.

Close the g*dd*mn door. Sorry.

Give me that.

My brother's stuff.

Can't you just take it down to The Goodwill?

So I can see some assh*le wearing his clothes...

Ginnie: Should I call 9-1-1?

No! Do not call 9-1-1!

Next time, just put it in the attic.

I don't really want it in the attic.

You owe me a fence.

Ow! f*ck.

Ginnie: You b*rned his fence down.

Paul: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...


Who wants French toast?

Man: Has there been any further contact?

Sorry. What?

Your ex-wife, Lauren. Sorry. Laurie.

Have you and she had any further con...

Ahem. We're still married.

Does she think you're married?

You're gonna have to ask her.

I get it, because she doesn't talk.

What's that for?

I work with a lot of kids. They use it for aggression.

All right, so, um, this mystery man who sh*t the deer...

No, he didn't sh**t the deer. [Dog snarls]

I thought...

No, no, no. No one sh*t the deer. The dogs k*lled the deer. [Dog snarls]

Uh, right, sorry.

So the mystery man...

Wait a minute. Why do you keep calling him "the mystery man"?

You didn't tell me his name.

I don't know his name.

It says here the squad car, um...

Your colleagues arrived in response to a report of g*nshots, but there's no mention of anyone there other than you, and lots of dead dogs.

The guy got into his truck and left before they got there.

So no one else saw him.

I f*cking saw him.

Man: Soup's on.

Get 'em while you can.

No pancakes in the big house.

Thanks.

[Doorbell rings]

[Door opens]

Oh, Christ!

f*cking laundry again?

[Tap tap]

Good morning.

[Distant animal squealing]

What? You want me to cut it down?

I thought you were bringing me out here to k*ll me or something.

[Grunting]

Man: Hey, Moonie!

f*ck you!

[Car engine roaring]

[Aimee chattering]

Aimee: I know for a fact that twardoz won't take attendance.

I can't. I have an exam.

Chicken sh*t.

Matt: Good morning.

Free of charge. They are not who you think they are.

You're doing really important work.

Aimee: Someone needs to tell that dude about the Internet.

Save us a seat. I'll go order.

[Thump]

Sorry.

Oh, no worries.

Thank you.

Jill: Sorry.

I may have f*cked that barista, so if he spit in your chai, that's on me.

What?

Do you know who that is?

Nope.

Her name is Nora something. She was at heroes day.

Her husband and her kids all disappeared.

There's a g*n in her purse.

No sh*t?

Yeah, like, a big one, too.

Not some bullshit lady g*n.

She probably puts in her mouth every night before bed and says, "just one more day."

[Scoffs]

No, she, like, puts wigs on and uses it to hold up liquor stores so she can feel alive again.

Or maybe she actually k*lled her family and then just said they disappeared while she secretly ate their bodies.

That's f*cked up.

Yeah.

Heh!

[Cup breaks]

Man: What the f*ck?

I'm so sorry.

Oh, um... no worries.

It's totally cool, Mrs. Durst.

Let me get you another one.

Nora: No, no, it's fine.


I've got to be somewhere anyway.

Sorry.

Bye.

Mmm. Ahem.

What was that?

Matt: Hey, Nora.

Aimee: Oh, sh*t. She's gonna pop father nutballs.

Matt: Good to see you.

Matt: Ok. Bye.


[Car alarm chirps]

You want to follow her?

In what?

Come on, dude. What?

Aimee: Hey! Big bones!

Top of the mornin', ladies.

Y'all need a ride to school?

Only if you let me drive your awesome Prius.

Uh, hop on in, baby.

You know how to turn it on, right?

Yeah!

Ok.

Jill: Go! Quick! Close the door!

It's a hybrid. Hit the power button. Shut up.

Do you have a driver's license?

This is very confusing.


Brake. You got to hit the...

Aimee: Here we go.

[Meg grunting]

Ow! Oh, f*ck.

Ow.

[Panting]

So what, the tree's supposed to symbolize my old life or something?

Can I have one?

You know, you guys are running a pretty shitty cult if you can't even join.

"Not a cult."

Then what is it?

I'm not doing this anymore.

Because I don't want to.

Why? Why?

Because I've been with you people for weeks, and all I've got is Ron and pancakes and... and f*cking tree-chopping!

What the f*ck?!

I mean, it's freezing and it's stupid!

It's f*cking stupid! That's why, ok?!



Christine, wake up. This is it.

Just stay in the car, ok?

Is it him?

Maybe this isn't the right place.

He should be here by now.

Are you calling him?

[Panting]

[Line ringing] No.

Tom.

No, no, no, no. Hey, wait, wait.

[Wayne chuckles]

Voicemail greeting: Hey, it's Tom. I'm not here. God bless. [Beep]

Hey, Tommy, it's your daddy calling. I saw you called, so, uh, listen, I'm gonna leave my phone on, so call me whenever you can.

I love you. sh*t.

Hard to get him to talk to you, right?

Maybe try with the texting.

My 10-year-old, that's all she uses...

Where are we on the truck?

Dennis: Huh?

Pickup truck I asked you to find two weeks ago. Where are we?

Oh, yeah.

We... we put out a BOLO, but no hits.

Uh, maybe if we had a better description of the driver?

Big, bald assh*le sh**ting dogs somewhere.

Uh... Want me to sit down with a sketch artist?

No. [Scoffs]

N-no, it's just you're the only one who saw him, so...

Dennis, do you think I made this guy up?

This is the part where you say, "no, Chief, that's f*cking ridiculous."

Fine. No, Chief. That's... that's f*cking ridiculous.

Go find the truck.

Yes, sir.

Kevin: Patti.

You know the drill.

I have a signed warrant, applicable in the case of a missing person or persons, to enter these premises and conduct a visual survey and/or question the occupants therein.

May I come in, please?

[Footsteps approaching]

Morning, Mr. Jensen. How are you?

Terrific.

Obligated to inform you the missing persons investigation related to you has been closed and that your family has been informed of your whereabouts.

You understand?

Yeah... I understand.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you hurt yourself?

Just some blisters.

You mind if I ask your name?

Meg. Megan Abbott.

You here on your own free will, Miss Abbott?

Yes.

You need my help?

No.



Do you mind if we take a picture?

A picture?

Mm-hmm.

Have I done something wrong?

No.

Ok.

Dennis.

Yeah, Chief?

Could... ahem.

[Beep]

[Camera shutter clicks]

Ok.

We good?

Yeah, it's a good one.

Ok.

If you ever want to talk, uh, we have resources available to you.

You can feel free to call me, night or day.

Why don't you f*cking mail it to me?

[Door closes]


Don't get too close.

I know what I'm doing.

Uh... we're missing first period.

Jill is never gonna f*ck you if you keep acting like such a puss, dude.

Ow! What?

Did I mix them up?

Shut up.

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Why are we following her?

Because she's f*cking dangerous.

Mr. Patterson?

Uh-huh.

We spoke on the phone last week. I'm Nora Durst.

Oh. I'm here to give you and your wife your departure benefit.

Uh, I... come in.

Thank you.

Kevin: This guy is in the pledge house now.

No idea where he came from.


"Brandon" might be an alias.

Wouldn't give us a last name.

[Sighs]

Got her. Megan Abbott.

From here in town. Fiancée reported her missing couples weeks ago.

Ask him to come in. I'll handle it.

Lucy: Jesus. I never should have told you to watch the f*cking "Wire".

Lucy.

Gentlemen, you mind giving the Chief and I a moment?

Yeah.

Madam mayor.

Kevin, were you inside a G.R. residence earlier today?

I was serving a missing persons warrant. I do that every couple weeks.

Uh-huh. And would you say the climate has changed somewhat since you went over there drunk and punched one of them in the face?

I think I punched him in the stomach, actually.

Want a bagel?

Kevin, I'm trying to help you.

By forcing me to get cleared by some dipshit because I had a rough night?

"Rough night"? You are aware that people like dogs?

I like dogs.

Then stop f*cking sh**ting them because that's something crazy people do.

[Sighs]

You want to get cleared?

Then you tell that dipshit what he needs to hear.

What's that?

It won't happen again.

Well, I can't say that 'cause I don't mean it.

They're not our dogs. Not anymore.

What the f*ck does that mean?



Kevin, I need you to stop pissing on the G.R.'s front porch, ok?

Fine.

See if I can hold it.

I'm visiting tonight, so...

Tell him I said hi.

f*ck.

[Camera beeps]

Woman: You have to film us?

Nora: It's ridiculous, right?

I guess some people were filling it out wrong.

That's why they're making us conduct it verbally now.

How many questions is it?

Just over 150. Too many, I know.

Do we have to answer everything to get our... check?

Just what you can.

Ok.

This is Nora Durst, ID 42ECN.

Today I will be conducting a benefit release questionnaire for case file 77123, Chales Patterson, age 34 at T.O.E.

Present are Louis and Marie, the parents of.

I can refer to him as "Charles," as "your son," or as "the departed"...

Charlie.

All right. Charlie.

I apologize in advance.

The questions can be strange for some people.

Were you able to look them over? There was a link...

Let's just get it over with.

Ok.

To your knowledge, did Charlie have any food allergies?

We sent in his medical records.

I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not given access to those.

No allergies.

Ok.

To your knowledge, did Charlie ever travel to Brazil?

No.

To your knowledge, did Charlie enjoy cooking?

Marie: No.

To your knowledge, did Charlie speak more than one language?

My son had Down Syndrome.

I'm sorry.

I am. These questions, they're f...

I want to sign off on your benefit. I know this is hard.

Answer what you can, but I have to ask them.

All of them.

Louis: No...

He didn't speak more than one language.

Ok.

To your knowledge, did Charlie have more than 20 sexual partners?

Aimee: Do you have any hand cream?

What?

Do you have any hand cream?

I'm a man. Why would I have hand cream?

You're a man?

I'll bet she does.

But if you get caught, you will be sh*t.

Oh, my God, guys. Are you serious?

[Jill giggles]

She's a really bad influence on you, man.

Jesus, lady.

[Sniffs] Oh, mmm., yes.

Ok.



[Honking horn] Jill!

Jill, don't do it! [Jill laughing]

[Honking continues]

[Distant dog barking]

Twins: Stop, stop, stop. Jill, stop it.

Stop.

Aimee: Shut up!

Go! Oh, my God! You stupid bitch! You're gonna... go!

Hit the power button.

Oh, my God. Just turn on the car.

Just go. She's right there. Just go.

She's right outside.

Chief, the fiancée is here. Waiting in your office.

Oh, right, yeah. Thanks.

Mr. Finnerty.

Kevin Garvey. Thank you for coming in.

So sorry you had to wait. You can have a seat.

Jesus.

You people leave me a voice-mail regarding my fiancée, and when I call back, nobody will tell me if she's alive or dead.

Megan's with the Guilty Remnant.

What?

I'm assuming they've been following Megan for some time now.

They usually target somebody and then...

What do they want?

That depends who you ask.

I'm asking you.

Well, uh, they say they want to remind people of what happened.

But what do they want?

They want to recruit.

Look, the good news is that right now, Megan's in what we call the pledge house.

It's like a... Like an orientation.

They don't have to wear white yet, they can still talk.

I spoke to Megan today personally.

I've dealt with a lot of these people.

I got a feeling that with Megan, maybe she's still on the fence.



I think you could still convince her to come home.

Why would I do that?

Sorry?

Why... Would I do that?

Because she needs you right now.

She...

Needs?

I postponed my wedding for 3 years because of what she needs.

But she snuck off in the middle of the f*cking night so she could be with them!

And she needs them! The f*cking ghosts!

What the f*ck are you talkin' about, man?

[Cell phone vibrating]

What, Dennis?

Dennis: Hey, Chief, I found the truck.

Where?

It's, uh, in your driveway.

Dennis: Hey.

Saw it when I was driving by, called you first thing.

Keys are on the dash.

Yeah, I noticed that.

Did you run the VIN?

Uh-huh. No registration, no wants.

I looked inside. It's a dead dog.

I'll just say we found it abandoned a couple blocks from here.

Why the f*ck would you say that?

Well, it's just... I...

It's not my truck, Dennis.

Someone else put it here.

Uh, yeah. Sure.

I know.

Get back to work.

Yes, sir.

[Panting]

[Kiss]

He never would have let me do that when he was alive.

You ok?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You?

Well, Tom, I've had better days.

Yeah.

Um, what happened back there?

They had papers, some bullshit.

They didn't come to arrest me.

They opened fire before they even got to the house.

Christine told me what you did.

[Scoffs] Yeah, you told me to protect her, right?

Don't just shrug like you're not sure what you want for supper, man.

You k*lled.

For great purpose, yes, but you k*lled.

You're a good boy, Tom. It's ok.

And that's why it feels like there's poison inside you right now.

And it's gonna burn till you're hollow.

Let me take it from you, man.



[Sighs]

You don't have to feel like this anymore.

Come on in.

I can't.

I can't.

You're the one m*therf*cker I can't figure out.

You're all suffering and no salvation.

But that's why I chose you to protect our girl.

I'm glad you're back together.

No, no, Tom, she... She can't come with me.

She's going with you.

Aimee: Thanks for letting us hijack your ride, boners.

Anytime.

Hey, get some f*cking hand cream.

Twins: Have a good night.

Jill: You, too.

So, you think she's really gonna use that g*n?

If I lost my whole family, I'd need to sh**t something.

At least she's still here.

What do you mean?

She could have run away someplace and nobody would have ever known what happened to her, but she's still here.

These jellybeans are stale.

They were probably for her kids.

Hi.

Oh.

Do we have to?

Please, can we just have one night where I don't have to give you any of my stuff?

One night?

Do you even remember what it feels like to care about anything?

What?

No sh*t?

The hot cop?

And you're here?

[Sighs]

It's my mom's.

I was saving it for last.

I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Wayne: She's far too important to risk traveling with me right now.

Never stay in the same place for too long, don't ever tell anyone your real name, and don't use your IDs.

Have you got a phone?

Yeah.

Give it to me.

[Snap]

[Chuckles]

When it's time for what comes next, I'll call you on this.

Oh, and get yourself a charger, man. I lost mine.

Woman: Wayne, we have to go.

I love you.

I love you, too.

This girl is everything.

Yes?

Yes.

[Engine turns over]

[Car creaking]

Road trip.

[Engine sputtering]

[Engine dies]

f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!

f*ck! f*ck!

Fuuuu-uuck!

It's gonna be ok.

How?

Wayne told me.

[Distant TV chatter]

[Doorbell rings]

[Knock on door]

Howdy.

Well, you gonna invite me in?

What's your pickup truck doing in my driveway?

I heard you were looking for it.

Heard where?

Around.

What's your name?

Well, you asking me in an official capacity or as a friend?

We're not friends.

Then I'd rather not say.

[Footsteps approach]

Aimee: Hey, Mr. Garvey.

Hey.

Jill: These for us?

Young lady, why don't you put this in the fridge for your dad?

Do not drink that.

So I found another pack.

Of what?

Dogs.

Couple dozen, I'd guess.

I saw them slinking around the elementary school tonight, and they...

I'm pretty sure they're sleeping in the drainpipe.

We could set up there and pick them off when they come out tomorrow night.

You meet my by the school just before sundown?

Why can't you do it yourself?

'Cause I'm lonely.

[Chuckles]

Sundown tomorrow.

We're doing the Lord's work, believe you me.

Hey!

Take your f*cking truck.

No, it's all yours. I'm done with it.

Who was that?

Nobody.

Hey, Betty. How you doing?

Mr. Garvey. Long time no see.

Yeah.

Ok if I bring that in?

Long as he eats it while you're here and you bring the jar out.

Deal.

[Door buzzes]

[Woman and man chuckling]

[Audience laughter on TV]

Man: Yeah.

Lucy: How can he not like this? Oh, it's great.

[Both continue laughing]

Prodigal son returns.

Lucy: I'll, uh, let you two catch up.

Ok.

Kevin.

Hey... ahem... did you steal my bagels this morning?

Did I what?

Never mind.

Forget about it.

How you doing, dad?

[Kiss]

Said you got to eat it while I'm here.

Yeah, yeah. I know the rules.

Did she... did she tell you what's going on with me?

Oh, we got better things to talk about than you.

Mmm.

How's my house?

Paul b*rned down the fence in the backyard.

Eh, f*ckin' moron.

How's my job?

It's hard.

You know...

It wouldn't k*ll you to show a little vulnerability now and then.

People love that sh*t.

No one wants to see the Chief of police crying in his car.

You're crying in your car?

You know they all went?

Balki, cousin Larry, Jennifer, Mary Anne... whole cast poofed on the 14th.

[Chuckles] Bullshit.

No, look it up.

[Both chuckle]

Kids ok?

Yeah. Jill, she's fine.

Tommy's still out west, I think.

Been a while since we spoke.

Well, just because he doesn't check in as often as he should doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

How'd it start for you, dad?

Well, that depends on what you mean by "it," son.

You know what I'm talking about.

If you're asking me when I started losing my sh*t...

Contrary to the professional opinion of others, I maintain my sh*t remains intact.

Now, I'd venture to guess the reason you're here seeing me...

Your sh*t may be gettin' lost.

No, not an... not an unreasonable assumption, considering you've been running around sh**ting dogs in the middle of the f*ckin' night.

f*ckin' Lucy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't take it out on her.

She's trying to cover for you.

Why don't you tell that shrink she sent you to that you were drunk and that you were under a lot of stress, and you're very, very sorry?

You realize now that it was wrong to...

Will you please shut up?

No, no, I'm not gonna tell him.

Tell me what, dad?

He's here, isn't he?

That's something.

Why do I always have to...

Oh, f*ck you!

Someone came to see you?

What?

They said they sent...

Oh, m*therf*cker.

They said they sent or are sending somebody to help you.

Who? Uh, help me with what?

Ah, I don't know.

[Sighs]

But...

Whatever it is, you might want to keep it to yourself.



Man: Hey, Chief, you good?

Fantastic.

♪♪♪♪
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