02x08 - International Assassin

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Leftovers". Aired: June 2014 to June 2017.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Revolves around mysterious disappearances, world-wide, and specifically follows a group of people who are left behind in the suburban community of Mapleton. They must begin to rebuild their lives after the loss of more than 100 people.
Post Reply

02x08 - International Assassin

Post by bunniefuu »

[music playing]

♪ Everybody is wondering ♪
♪ What and where they all came from ♪
♪ Everybody is worrying about where they're gonna go ♪
♪ When the whole thing's done ♪
♪ But no one knows for certain ♪
♪ And so it's all the same to me ♪
♪ Think I'll just let the mystery be ♪
♪ Some say once gone, you're gone forever ♪
♪ And some say you're gonna come back ♪
♪ Some say you rest in the arms of the Savior ♪
♪ If in sinful ways you lack ♪
♪ Some say that they're coming back in a garden ♪
♪ Bunch of carrots and little sweet peas ♪
♪ Think I'll just let the mystery be ♪
♪ Everybody is wondering ♪
♪ What and where they all came from ♪
♪ Everybody is worrying about where they're gonna go ♪
♪ When the whole thing's done ♪
♪ But no one knows for certain ♪
♪ So it's all the same to me ♪
♪ Think I'll just let the mystery be ♪
♪ Think I'll just let the mystery be ♪


[coughing]

[gasping]

[panting]

[TV squealing]

Ah!

[knocking on door]

[knocking]


Mr. Harvey?

It's Garvey.

No, it's Harvey.

May I bring them in, please?

Um, give me a second. I'll take them.

Thanks.

[door creaks]

All I have is euros.

[grunting]

[panting]

[elevator bell dings]

[alarm blaring]

[wings fluttering, bird chirping]

[static hisses]

Yeah, I see it.

It's flying around the lobby.


Woman: Oh, the bird just landed.

Woman #2: Stand back, everyone.

Hello.

Sorry, there's a bird in here.

May I help you, sir?

Yes, someone sent some flowers to my room.

Do you know who sent them?

All deliveries come through the concierge.

You'll have to ask him.

[bird chirping]

Man: Get that out of there.

What the f*ck is happening?

The fire alarm went off, sir, and we have a bird loose in the lobby.

What?

Where are we? What is this?

Sir, please lower your voice.

Are you a guest here?

No, I'm not a guest.

I took poison in your trailer. You sent me here.

You know me.

You know me. You sent me here.

Clearly, sir, you're upset.

I'm writing down the name and number of a professional who can help you.

I don't need a professional. I need you to tell me--

Here.

I wish I could be more helpful.

I really hope they don't catch that bird.

[phone rings]

Concierge. May I help you?

Yes.

Absolutely.

Right away.

sh*t.

Hey!

Hey!

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Help!

[coughing]

Can you hear me? You okay?

You okay?

[door opens]

Hey, what are you doing?

She was floating in the pool. She almost drowned.

What did I tell you?

You don't know how to swim.

Hey, take it easy.

Mind your f*cking business.

[electricity buzzing]

[women whispering in Spanish]


[continues in Spanish]

Why are you wet?

There was a girl in the pool.

She was drowning, so--

Did you drink any?

What?

The water, did you drink any?

No.

And don't.

No matter what, don't drink the water here.

And where is here?

You mean the hotel?

No, it's not a f*cking hotel.

Someone just tried to k*ll me.

Oh.

Oh?

Well, it makes sense.

It's a pitfall of your chosen occupation.

Which is what?

Look at the way you're dressed, man.

You're an international assassin.

Are you f*cking serious?

That is why you checked into the hotel, isn't it?

I didn't check into the hotel.

I drank that sh*t that you gave me and I woke up in a bathtub.

Okay, Kevin, you've got to stop thinking in such straight lines, because she surely will not be.

She thinks in spirals and helixes and zigzags and circles.


Patti?

Your target.

She's here, now?

She will be in a couple of hours.

It's for her campaign.


Her what?

Her campaign.

She's running for president.

What the f*ck are you talking about?

Okay, I've only got time to say this once, all right?

And you're only gonna get one sh*t at it.

You understand?

No.

Okay, you're registered under Kevin Harvey.

You made a generous contribution to her campaign which guarantees you a meet and greet.

When she gets here, they will call you in your room.

Then they will bring you down to her suite where you will be searched for weapons.

Once inside, you ask to use the washroom.

Inside the washroom in the t*nk of the toilet, you will find a g*n and a sil*ncer.

You walk out, you point that g*n and you do not hesitate, Kevin.

You do not hesitate because she will try and deceive you.

You point the g*n at her head and you pull the trigger.

And that's it.

It'll all be over.

And you will be delivered from this place.

And you can go home, Kevin.

It's Kevin Harvey?

Mm-hmm.

And the g*n's gonna be in the toilet.

Yeah.

Like "The Godfather"?

[chuckles]

Exactly like "The Godfather."

Got it.

And do not-- do not hesitate.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

How are you here?

Sorry?

If I had to die to get here, what are you doing here?

Atoning.

[tires squeal]

Just don't leave the room until they call you, Kevin.

It's not safe.


And for God's sake, don't let them see you.

- [TV squealing]

[overlapping voices]


f*ck!

Man: Feed that m*therf*cking fire.

I think I see something.

[fire alarm blaring]


Recording: We're sorry for the inconvenience, but we need to evacuate the hotel.

Please move in an orderly fashion to the nearest available stairwell.


I think they want us to evacuate.

False alarm.

What if it's not?

Then we'll f*cking burn.

Please move in an orderly fashion to the nearest available stairwell.

[speaking Spanish]

Those for me?

Is your name Mary Jamison?

No.

Then they're not for you.

Woman: Okay, ladies and gentlemen. It's safe to return to your rooms. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Is your name Kevin Harvey?

[grunting]

[elevator bell dings]

[groaning]

[elevator bell dings]

[door opens]

[door closes]

What the f*ck am I doing--


Hello.

I work with Senator Levin.

I apologize, but we need to vet anyone who gets close to her.

We just need to make sure you belong here.

[machine whining]

Gladys: State your name, please.

Kevin Harvey.

[machine chirping]

[machine beeps]

Ow! Whoa.

Hey, hey! No! Ow! f*ck!

Ah!

I'm sorry if this seems severe, but we do need to trust each other.

Please state your name.

Kevin Garvey. Garvey.

You checked into the hotel under a different name. Why?

Because I don't want anyone to know who I really am.

Well, it's a pretty lousy alias.

[chuckles] Thanks.

$50,000, that's a lot of money.

Yeah.

What do you expect in return?

I just really want to be in the same room as her.

You want to be in the same room with her?

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh. Do you smoke, Kevin?

Yes.

Why do you smoke?

Because I'm addicted to nicotine.

[buzzes]

Ow! f*ck!

Ow! No, no, no! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ow!

Why do you smoke?

I smoke to remember.

Remember what?

That the world ended.

Uncuff him.

Mm, my manners. Thirsty?

No.

[buzzes]

The senator is arriving imminently.

Why don't you go freshen up?

We'll come get you when she's ready.

Oh, and, Mr. Garvey, we're thankful for your support.

- [TV squealing]

[static hissing]

[voices overlapping]


Man: It's the same f*cking room. Feed that m*therf*cking fire. I think I see something.

Dad?

God damn.

It worked. [laughs]

Where are you?

I'm in Perth.

Jesus, we're staying in the same room.

What?

Son, I am f*cked up on this sh*t they call God's Tongue, so I really hope this is real.

You get the flowers I sent?

Uh...

Yeah, the card was blank.

It didn't say get to the well?

What well?

Take her to the well.

[fire alarm blaring]

Who, Patti?


Wake the f*ck up, assh*le. Feed the fire.

What well?

I'm supposed to assassinate her.

No, you're not a f*cking assassin.

Whoa. Whoa. Don't f*cking put it out.

I'm still talking to him.

You've got to take her to the well.

What well?

Son, you have to be strong.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Whoa.

Dad?

Dad?

[knocking on door]

Senator Levin's ready to see you now.

- [chatter]

[phones ringing]


Make like Jesus.

Sorry?

Oh.

Congratulations.

What happened to your hand?

Cut it.

Did you put Neosporin on it?

Yeah.

He's all clear.

He's harmless.

Hey.

Long time no see.

Yeah.

Sorry about the unpleasantness before, but you can't be too safe.

Water under the bridge?

Yeah, water under the bridge.

Great. Okay.

Well, the senator will be up any minute now and you are welcome to talk about anything you'd like for five minutes or so as long as you don't ask her about North Korea, g*n control, abortion or Neil.

Her ex-husband.

Oh, yeah.

Okay? Great.

Okay.

The photo will be right here.

And don't blink when the flash goes off.

The senator will only give you one sh*t.

So don't blink.

I won't.

Good. Any questions?

Yeah, could I use your restroom?

Oh, yes. Be my guest.

Down the hall.

Great. Thank you.

Occupied, mate.

May I have some privacy, please?

Yeah, sorry.

Gladys: Thirsty?

No, I'm fine, thanks.

The senator is in the elevator.

She'll be here momentarily.

[door opens]

I know you, don't I?

I don't think so.

Are you sure?

Have you been to one of these campaign events before?

Gladys: This is his first. Water?

Oh, yes, please, Gladys.

You know what's crazy?

I feel like I was sitting on the toilet the last time I met you.

[laughs] That is crazy.

No, that's déjà vu.

That's the mind taking an event you're experiencing in the present moment and mistaking it for a memory.

The mind. [laughs]

You cannot trust the mind, for it will play tricks on you.

And we all know who tricks are for.

Kids.

[laughs]

I'm gonna use the restroom.

Copy that. Standing by.
She's here.

[door opens]

Hello, hello, hello.

Gladys: Senator, this is Kevin Garvey.

Kevin?

So nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Would you like some water, Senator?

Never touch the stuff.

Kevin, I'm sorry about all the security.

I don't know if Gladys told you, but we received credible intelligence that someone may be trying to assassinate me.

Now why do you think someone would want to do that?

m*rder me?

Well, I don't know.

It's because I stick to you, Kevin.

[laughs]

Throughout history assassins have never been motivated by money or revenge.

They're motivated by beliefs.

And their targets embody a belief that enrages their would-be assassins.

Why?

Because secretly, they share that belief.

John Wilkes Booth loved black people.

Hated sl*very. Hated it.

Did you know that?

I did not, Senator.

Well, he did.

But he still popped Lincoln right in his stovepipe.

Bang. Emancipated from life.

So I'm gonna ask you again.

Why do you think someone would want to k*ll me?

You tell me.

Because they'd rather put a b*llet in my head than accept my truth.

And what is your truth?

Well, sh*t, Kevin, you wrote me a check for $50,000.

What do you think my truth is?

You want to destroy families.

Write that down.

That is f*cking brilliant.

Our polls say our message is confusing.

You just nailed it.

I want to destroy families.

The other day I was in Northboro, Iowa, and I met a young man.

I was working my way through the crowd shaking hands and I see this fellow and he's waiting for me and he has a baby in his arms.

And I'm thinking to myself, "sh*t, now I'm gonna have to kiss that thing because that's what one must endure if you want to get elected."

So I pucker up and you know what that young man does?

He hands me the baby and he just walks away.

He gave me his child and he disappeared.

Police couldn't find him.


No wife or mother stepped forward to claim it.

And that baby is now in an orphanage and it's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna grow up and it's gonna have difficulty attaching to people and it's gonna have difficulty giving and accepting love.

But, Kevin, that is no longer a difficulty.

It is a strength.

It is a survival mechanism.

Because on October 14, attachment and love became extinct.

In an instant, it became cosmically, abundantly clear that you can lose anyone at any time.

Our cave collapsed, Kevin.

Now, we can spend all our time digging through the rubble looking for signs of life, or we can transform.

Do you mind if I ask you, Kevin, how you first heard about what we are trying to do?

How you heard about the Guilty Remnant?

No.

My wife left me. Joined up.

Patti: That must have been painful.

Mm-hmm.

No more painful than when Neil left you.

Okay, we are done here.

No, that's okay, Gladys.

Wayne, will you sh**t this m*therf*cker in the face for me?

Whoa, whoa.

Patti: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm kidding. [laughing]

Oh.

[Wayne laughs]

Lighten up, guys.

[laughter]

My donors have been warned not to use that name, but fortunately I don't give a sh*t about Neil.

He gave lots of shits.

Well, received, technically.

- Right on his chest.

[laughs]


Well, anyhoo, f*ck Neil.

[laughs] Let's get that photo done, shall we?

Yeah.

[clears throat]

Oh, do you mind if I use the bathroom?

Remember to leave the seat down.

Okay, I will.

[water running]

[coughs]

[cocks g*n]

[water stops]

[inhales]

[exhales]

sh*t!

[silenced g*nshots]

[silenced g*nsh*t]

No! No, I'm not her!

[Gladys groans]

[silenced g*nsh*t]

[Boston accent] Please, please, stop.

I'm not her. I'm not Patti Levin.

My name is Rhonda Gennero, I'm from Lowell, Massachusetts.

They found me on Facebook.

The campaign, they paid me. They paid me.

They even sent me to Colombia...

[stammering] for plastic surgery so I'd look even more like her.

I'm-- I'm a double.

I'm a decoy.

I've never even met her.

Whatever she's done to you, please, please don't k*ll me.

I'm not her.

Good-bye, Patti.

No!

Why am I still here?

You said as soon as I was done, it'd be over.

Why isn't it over?

Why isn't what over?

Stop f*cking with me.

I'm sick of meeting in f*cking parking garages.

I did it, I did what you told me to do.

Why am I still here?

Still-- still where?

[bird chirping]

Man: Oh, jeez!

I got it.

I got it, people. I got the bird.

[applause]

Thank you.

Sorry about that, sir. Now how can I help you?

Did you drink the water?

The-- but I was--

I was so thirsty.

Okay.

[elevator bell dings]

[elevator bell dings]


She locked me out.

[chuckles] Looks like you're locked out, too.

Hey.

You want a drink?

Yeah, I do.

What's your name?

Kevin.

You here on business or pleasure, Kevin?

Uh, business.

Oh, yeah? Well, what line of work you in?

I'm an international assassin.

No sh*t.

No sh*t.

I wouldn't think they'd let you guys drink.

Oh, no, I'm done for the day.

I eliminated my target.

Turns out she was using a body double.

Like S*ddam Hussein.

Yeah.

They really do that, huh?

I guess they do.

Wow, international assassin.

You get to travel the world k*lling people.

No consequences.

No wife. No kids.

No responsibility.

That's a great job. I can see why you picked it.

Yeah.

What do you do?

Me?

I don't do anything. I'm f*cking dead.

Choked on a piece of chicken.

[laughs]

Which is why we should always do what our moms say.

Chew before you swallow. [laughs]

Now I'm stuck in this stupid hotel.

Half the people, they can't even remember their own names.

The other half, they're running around doing crazy sh*t like international assassins.

And I can't find a single woman to take a dump on me.

What?

What, you gonna judge me now?

Is your name Neil?

Yeah.

Why?

That little girl in the room is not your daughter, is she?

Oh, you think there's a little girl in my room?

Yeah.

I saved her from the pool.

Well, you should have let that fat c**t drown.

Hey, bud.

[bone snaps]

[knocks]

Hi, Kevin.

Hi, Patti.

Are we leaving now?

Yeah.

Do you know where we're going?

I think so.

Hello there.

Can I help you, sir?

Uh... yeah.

We were actually looking for a well.

A well?

Yeah.

Um, okay, well, let me see.

Are you sure it's not the caverns?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a well.

Oh.

Oh, here we are.

Well, in Jarden, Texas.

I'm not sure what the hours are, but if you head out now, I'm sure you could get there by sunrise.

It's a straight sh*t out the I-55.

Can't miss it.

Great.

Thank you very much. Appreciate it.

You two have a safe trip to the well.

Thanks.

He's gonna throw me in.

Oh.

Well, then I hope you have your swimsuit with you, young lady.

"With the arrival of the European explorers, the land we now know as Texas was populated by the tribes of 'in-diggen-ous' people."

Do you know what that means?

"In-diggen-ous"?

Yeah, it means native.

Like Indians.

"The Orphan-- the Orphan's Well outside Jarden was built by one of these tribes. According to the ancient legend, the well formed a conduit between the world of the living and the spirit world."

Am I talking too much?

My dad says I talk too much.

He pushed me down the stairs one time.

I broke two of my grown-up teeth.

It's okay. Keep reading.

"For centuries, people have made pilgrimages to the well to throw in whatever they want to unburden themselves of."

[sighs]

What's wrong?

It looks different.

Are you scared?

No.

[clucking]

I'm not scared.

[groans]

Stand up.

Walk.

What are you doing with that girl?

Who are you?

What are you doing with that girl?

Taking her to the well.

Why?

I'm gonna throw her in it.

The girl, is she resisting?

No.

I reckon that's because she wants you to do it.

Just like a woman.


She believes she can improve you.

I don't understand.

That's bloody obvious.

You have a choice.

Cross or jump.

Why would I jump?

Because you don't want to k*ll a child.

She's not a child.

Yes, she is.

And if you do this, it'll change you.

None of this is real.

Friend, this is more real than it's ever been.

How far is the well?

Just a mile.

There's no road. You'll have to walk.

[whispering]

Who is that man?

I don't know.

What did he say to you?

It's private.

Was it about me?

Nothing to do with you. Come on, we have to walk.

I'm tired.

I'll carry you.

Do you want to drop me in or do you want to push me in?

Pushing is probably easier.

What's wrong?

It's hard.

Why?

Because I feel sorry for you.

Would it help if I closed my eyes?

No.

Would it help if I say I deserve it?

That's not true.

Yes, it is.

I talk too much. I don't listen.

I'm stupid. I'm worthless. I'm a fat pig.

I don't know how to be happy.

Please stop, okay?

Okay.

Would it help if--

[gags]

[eagle screeching]

[screeching continues]


Patti: Help.

Please?

Kevin.


Please help me.

Oh!

You okay?

[groans]

I ever tell you I was on "Jeopardy"?

What?

"Jeopardy" the game show.

My plan was to win 50,000.

If I could do that, I could leave Neil.

Start over.

I just needed something that was mine.

I just needed to win.

50,000.

Going into Final Jeopardy, I had a little more than 7,000 bucks.

Stuart was the four-day reigning champ.

Know what he said to me in the greenroom before the game?

No. What?

Absolutely nothing.

Not a word.

There's a power to that.

Silence.

"Big countries."

In area, the largest former Soviet republic after Russia and the largest nation that doesn't border an ocean.

What is Kazakhstan?

Correct.

I've always been good in geography.

You know what Stuart said?

What is the Ukraine?

The f*cking Ukraine.

Patti Levin is our new "Jeopardy" champion.

The next night I won again.

Third night, too.

Fourth night, I--

I bombed.

But they let me keep everything before that.

$65,300.

More than I needed to leave him...

and start over.

But I didn't.

I'm scared, Kevin.

[crying]

[bubbling]

[rumbling]


[coughing]

[panting]

Holy sh*t.

♪ I've been 'buked and I've been scorned ♪
♪ I've been 'buked and I've been scorned, children ♪
♪ I've been 'buked and I've been scorned ♪
♪ I've been talked about sho's you're born ♪
♪ Ain't gwine to lay my 'ligion down ♪
♪ Ain't gwine to lay my 'ligion down, children ♪
♪ Ain't gwine to lay my 'ligion down ♪
Post Reply