03x05 - Oh Holy Night


I think it's done.

Well, let's hear it.

I think we should read each other's lines.

That means that you start.


"No matter what is going on, I am hungry and thinking about you."

"There's a scoop of light just above my knee. It resembles the world."

"Pictures of food in restaurants always depress me. Not because it feels tacky but because it feels unnecessary."


"My mind returns again and again to the picture you gave me."



Ali: "I'm helpless. Rushing back to fix the 'H.' How can I help you?"

Leslie: "I used to meditate on the idea of not having to fix anything at all."

Ali: "This color is connected to that color."

"The waves break."



Maura: Joshy?

Josh: Down here.

Hey. What's going on?

Rita's dead.

What ha... What happened?

She went to the mall yesterday, and she, uh, tripped.

She was at the top of the escalators on the fourth floor, and, uh, she fell.

Have you told anyone?


I'm honored that you told me first.

It's not an honor. It's just information that you need to have.

Oh, my God.


What are you gonna do? Is there gonna be a memorial service or something?

She didn't have people, so her sister is gonna take her ashes back to Fresno.

She also wants me to transport some of those ashes to Colton.

Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, are you gonna do that?

He's a Christian.


And it might have been suicide, so I don't know.

You... You didn't say suicide.

You said that she... she tripped or she... she fell.

You didn't say.

I don't know.




Did you know we were having s*x back then?

I'm sorry. What?

Did you know that Rita and I... were having s*x back then?

(EXHALES) No, I didn't.

(SIGHS) Until the pregnancy, I guess, uh, your mom and I thought we were paying her to be your best friend.


That's f*cked up.

It's true.




Len: Are you sure that's how you inflate 'em?

No, I... I don't know. I think...

That's what it said. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I can't even get one, and I have, like, 500.

All right. What do you do? You just grab 'em?

You're trying to get air, and then you seal it up.

This is very opening ceremonies of the Olympics.

You know what, it probably doesn't matter.

'cause no one's gonna come anyway.

Why don't we just...

You know, all these people RSVP'd but, like, it's on Facebook, so you totally cannot trust it, you know what I mean?

'Cause they just go, like, "Yeah."

You know? And then they don't mean it.

I mean, why... They should have a category that's like...

"Yeah, yeah, I'm saying yes, but I really am probably not coming."

Yeah, like...

No idea. I have no idea.

Like, I'm coming, but I may not come?


Oh, don't let me forget to pack up the lighters from the barbecue, the big ones, 'cause, like, I have all these votives.

Like, a thousand votives.

You're so adorable.

Am I?

It's kind of working.

Do you remember the week before Zachy was born?

How worried you were? And you wanted, like, everything to be perfect?

You were planning everything.

You were like a cute, little prenatal Mussolini.


If no one comes to your thing, I'll come to your thing.

Put me down as your one official RSVP.

I'll be there.

I thought you had a thing with Una.

I do have a thing with Una, but I can "resched."

Josh: What are we gonna do with this house?

Maura: I have no idea.

Tammy really put an effort into f*cking this place up.

I don't even recall what used to be here.

The pony wall?

You know, the big, beautiful, irreplaceable shelf where we kept the records and the books and stuff?


Now it looks like a California Pizza Kitchen.

I'm sorry I was such a shitty parent.

One second.

What are you looking for?

Hold that, please.


Okay. I think we should call somebody.

Demo's a thing. Jewish men don't do demo.

I am a Jewish woman, Joshy.

And Jewish women do whatever the f*ck they want.

Oh, no. Here, put this on.

There you go.





f*ck, yeah.

Can you put those in the center of that one right there?

Can you make space?

'Cause I feel like we have enough flowers over there.

Hey, Sarah.

Oh, God.

Hi. Wow.


Oh, so where are the...

It's getting there.

Sarah: Oh, I decided to go with papusas.

(STAMMERS) The event's called Tacos con Torah.

Right? Tacos.

Yeah, I got it.

You had suggested that...

Yeah, I understand.

I really don't think it's that big of a deal.


This is... The taco guy was too expensive.

This is a woman-owned business, so I think that that's fantastic.

You know, I don't know. We can call it Papusas con Psalms or something.



Sultry, sultry.

Did you notice that there's a huge hole out there?

I'm gonna put a sign there in case somebody...

I don't want anyone breaking their ankle on the way...

Gonna put a sign on this hole?

Stop it.


Oh, my gosh, look at you guys.

You guys are already on it. Thank you!

Z'hirut hor.

What does that mean?

That means "Caution: Hole." It's in Hebrew.

Do you think maybe we should write the translation in case everybody doesn't understand that?


You're such a smart little cookie.

(CHUCKLES) Look. People.

Hi. Welcome.


Shabbat shalom. We are asking people to unplug from technology.


Just drop your device.

Thank you. Shabbat shalom.


Shabat shalom.

Thanks. We'll take good care of 'em.

Enjoy yourself.


Hey, would you like to unplug, sir?

You can't have my phone.


Have a good evening.




Thank you. Where's Pops?

Hi, Grandma. How are you?

Hi. How are you?

You look so lovely.

Thank you.

Isn't this cool? Look at all this.

So wonderful. Where's Sarah?

Excuse me. You must be Sarah's parents.

I am. How are you?

I'm Duvid, the new cantor.

Hello, Duvid. How are you?

It is so nice to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you.

All are welcome here, okay?


Thank you.

You're welcome. Come on.

Should we eat?


Hey, what's up, man? Len.

Hey, I know who you are.

I've heard a lot about you.

All right.

Come here.


Shelly: Sarah!

Oh, hey, Mom.

This is so gorgeous.

This is unbel... And you look gorgeous, too.

Thank you.

Listen, I just wanted to tell you that Buzzy didn't come, because he felt that things were still a little complicated.

But I'm here representing both of us.

And don't worry, I'll be fine.


Come here. Let me take a picture.

Can you not? Can you put that away?

'Cause we're trying to unplug and just like...

No posting tonight.

Oh, all right.

But, you know, I have 126 followers.

You would be guaranteed some likes.

No, thank you.


If you say.

Is the parking lot filling up?

I don't know. I took an app here. Where are the tacos?

It's not tacos, it's papusas.

What's a papusa?

Raquel, I think maybe we should get started.

I mean, there's so many people here, and what if they leave?

No, no, no, everybody seems really happy.

Let's give it a second to marinate.

Are you sure? Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

No, that's good.

That's good.

How long? How long?

Let's say 16 minutes.


Is that okay?

Got it. 16. I can do 16.

Oh, Sarah.

Oh, my God.

I thought that he would...

I don't...

f*ck. Okay. I'll just...


Why don't you...

And I'll...



Hi. Oh, God, you look nice.

Thank you.

Why is Josh here?

I mean, that's kind of awkward with Raquel and everything.

Rita's dead.

Oh, my God.

And you brought him here?

Well, yes. I thought he could use the community.

And I encouraged him to come.

And these tacos are delicious.

I'm sorry, but really? Tonight of all nights?

I mean, Raquel's already starting to freak out.

Okay, yeah, I know. Well, what happened?

Josh will tell you.



I heard.



Are you okay? Can I get you anything?

Like what?

I don't know.

We have an espresso machine. You want an espresso?

No, I'm good. Thank you.


It's pretty in here.

Rita is dead.

(GASPS) What?



Oh, my God. f*ck.

What happened?

She fell off the mall.

Who fell off the mall?

We don't have all the details yet.

I gotta circulate.

What happened?

There was an accident.

Rita's dead.


What does it mean, she fell off the mall?

Josh: She was, uh, at the top of the escalators.

You know? It was, like, the fourth floor. She fell.

She might have jumped.

Oh, my baby.

She was on anti-depressants.

And she said she swapped. I don't know.

See that's what happens. If you change the medication, it becomes more of a problem, and sometimes people commit suicide.

We don't know if it was suicide.

But you said she jumped off...

It doesn't matter.

She might have fallen. We don't know.

Maura: Leave him alone.

Shelly: I'm sorry, I was just processing.

Maura: Then let him process.

Shelly: Okay, okay.


I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.


Rita died.

Do you wanna go for a walk?


The f*cked up part is I was the last person that she talked to probably.

I was at her house just before.

She was good. She gave me this tape of songs that I recorded for her in high school.

Like, the tape?

And she was in a great mood.

You could not have known any of this.

This is not...

I was the last person to see her.

That's all I'm gonna say.

Well, that f*ckin' sucks. That's not fair to put that on you after everything else.

Oh, my God, poor Josh.

So she was close to the whole family?

No, I mean, she's basically a part of the family.

It's so complicated.

Can I interest anyone in a cappuccino?


"Sinai Coffee."

I can't drink that, 'cause it disagrees with my politics.

They're Israeli beans.

Oh, okay.

You know what? There's so much more yummy stuff down there.

Just help yourselves.

Yeah, thanks.

Great. Thanks. You know, I'll take a...

I'll take a horchata.

Me, too.

Okay. Sure.

And could I get a couple of those tacos?

A papusa. No taco.


Excuse me. Just to be clear, you're not having the espresso because it supports the state of Israel.

That's right. I don't want blood on my hands.

What about the blood of Jewish children?

Thank you. Excuse me?

Someone died in my cousin's platoon. He was 18 years old.

Can I have one too, please? Please don't do this.

It's a tragedy that any nation should send its young to die for an unjust cause.

An unjust cause?


He was protecting our homeland.

What about the homeland of the Palestinians?

Yeah. Thank you. Okay, please...

Can you stretch your mind just a little bit there?

Do you think the state of Israel has a right to exist?

I think that that is an absurd question.

It already exists.

Jews have been slaughtered for centuries.

Yeah, and they've done a little slaughtering.

You ever read about Sabra and Shatila?

Oh, yeah. That was in retaliation for the assassination of Bachir Gemayel.

Yeah, after Sharon had bombed the sh1t out of Beirut.

Oh, come on, that's such a tired argument.

Rosh Hashanah, 1982.

Read the Balfour Declaration on your own time.

Take your time with it.

Oh, don't get me...

Are you even Jewish?

What has that got to do with anything?

I should have guessed. That is perfect. Miss...

Oh, don't Miss me, sir.

Okay, okay.

Your anti-Zionism sounds a whole lot like anti-Semitism.

You see? That is a smear.

And that prevents people like you from being able to have a rational conversation.

It's the truth!

You're yelling. You're screaming.

f*ck! These people are so unreasonable, and you are mad at me?

Yes, I'm mad at you. This is my sister's event.

We just had a death in the family, and you're arguing with people about Israel?


Oh, come on.

Are you an idiot?

Yes, Ali, I'm an idiot.

Can I just give you a hug right now?


'Cause I feel like...

Okay. I'm so sorry, Josh. I'm so sorry.

(SIGHS) I could just live right here in this hug.


Sell everything and just move in.

Hold on. Wait. Um...

I might go on a road trip tonight.

I have to.

Gonna deliver some of her ashes to Colton.

Wow, that's tonight?

Do you wanna go? You wanna come with me?

Oh, Josh. Wow. It's...

We're gonna get started!

Okay, just think about it.

It's just... Are you okay?




Get closer! Get closer! Everybody!

Mmm. This is to remember the sweetness of Shabbat for the rest of our week.

I'm gonna pass that around.

Welcome. Shabbat shalom.

All: Shabbat shalom.

How beautiful is this?

Oh, what a beautiful, beautiful group.

I want to invite each of you, when I walk around, to just take a second and look at the reflection of the candle on your nails.

It's the reflection and the shadow.

The rabbis tell us that there are 36 people whose righteousness sustains the world called the lamedvavniks.

So if you know your Torah, we know that God destroyed the world once, right?

Noah and the Ark? Remember?

So these 36 people are like an insurance policy against that ever happening again, right?

So who are these 36 people?

I want you guys to put your hand on the shoulder of the person next to you and get really close, so all of us can be linked in this circle, right?

Is everybody close? Okay?

Who are these 36?

We don't know.

Even the 36 don't know.

So what is the lesson?

The lesson is to treat each other... as if we might be one.

Or who knows?

You might be standing next to one now.

If it's anyone, it's you, Sarah.

This is magical.

Okay, it's Saturday night.

It's the end of Shabbat.

We're about to leave the world of the holy and enter the rest of our week.

Before we extinguish the candle, while there's still a few glimmers of holiness left in our day, I'd like to invite anybody that has a blessing to come up and share it with us.

I'll go.

The monarch butterflies are here, marking the midpoint in their epic migration from Canada to the jungles of Mexico.

I'm just thinking about the pandemic of homelessness.

Inner-city and...

Guys, I'm seven months sober.

I'm Len, and, um, don't kick me out, but I'm not Jewish.


I am Jew-curious, if that's a term.

I'm just happy to be here.

This is a really, you know, special, uh, feeling.

And it's, uh... it's nice.

It's very welcoming and warm and...

And you guys are really lucky. Thank you for having me.

Thank you.

Anybody else?

All right, I'll go.

Do you mind?


Um, my... my son lost his best friend this week.

And, uh, some of us just heard about it today, and we're in a bit of a shock.

And her name was, uh, Rita Holt.

And, uh, Rabbi, this is not the traditional way to go at Havdalah, but if you don't mind, I would like to offer a kaddish for her.

Oh, this isn't really the time to...

Yisgadal, v'yiskaddash sh'mey rabbah...


I did not expect to be so moved.

By the service or the propaganda?

You're still pissed off at the Zionists?

It's stuck in my craw.

I mean, you can light a bunch of votive candles in a shitty gym, but...


Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Who put the f*ckin' hole here?

Get me out of here.

Okay. Here.


That was marvelous.

Thanks, Mom.

The next time we do this, we should do a showcase for all the storytellers in the community.

I have been developing a little talk of my own. based on my brand, "To Shell N Back."

It's kind of a one-woman show...

No, Mom, we're not doing your one-woman show.

I haven't even told you anything yet.

At least hear me out.

We're not even sure if we're gonna do another one of these, though, so...

Well, of course we're gonna do it again.

I would love...

At least let me audition.

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!

Yes, Mom, you got an audition.

Oh! All I needed to hear.


Mmm. Love you.

Love you, too, Rabbi.

Bye, Shelly.

Good to see you.

Nice the see you.

You still have stuff in your teeth.

Oh, all right. I'll get it in the car.

Of course we're gonna do this again.

There'll be riots if we don't do it again.

Okay, I found some of my sister's expired muscle relaxers and my Moppa's Xanax.


There you go.

I got that. That just falls if its there.

f*ck, I love what we wrote together today.


I don't know.

I liked your lines a lot better than mine.

I like how we sound together.


But honestly, kid, I...

I just like seeing you.

There is a lot to see, Ali Pfefferman.

That is my name.

I see all of you, Ali Pfefferman.

You made me come out and name it.

Name what we are.

You should just rest and relax.

We can talk about this later.

The truth is, I'm afraid of my emotions.

(CLEARS THROAT) They frighten me.

I am in love with you.


♪ Sho nuff ♪
♪ Pimpin' ♪

♪ Oh, boy ♪
♪ Uh ♪
♪ What y'all know about a ♪
♪ Fresh outta "Elle" magazine ♪
♪ Buy her own bottles ♪
♪ For all my chicks in the club ♪
♪ Who knows how to cut a rug ♪
♪ If you're a bad girl ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Ooh, work me, baby ♪
♪ Shakin' it the way I like ♪
♪ I'm ready to be bad ♪
♪ I need a bad girl ♪
♪ Say yeah ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight? ♪
♪ I'm ready to be bad ♪
♪ I need a bad girl ♪
♪ Super bad, baby ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Now I've seen a lot of broads ♪
♪ All on one accord ♪
♪ Everyone looked the same but ♪
♪ Take a look at my dame ♪
♪ My dame ♪
♪ If you're a bad girl ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Ooh, work me, baby ♪
♪ Shakin' it the way I like ♪
♪ I'm ready to be bad ♪
♪ I need a bad girl ♪
♪ Say yeah ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight? ♪
♪ I'm ready to be bad ♪
♪ I need a bad girl ♪
♪ Super bad, baby ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Imma get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Imma get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Get at me, bad girl ♪
♪ Imma get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪ Get me one of them ♪
♪♪ (FADES)