Danny?
This is not the only world. There are millions of them.
I can't believe you just kissed my fiancee.
The guy who keeps trying to k*ll us is here in this reality on a billboard.
I've been doing some research into parallel universes and how a person might jump into one.
What if there's another Milo out there and he's trying to help us?
If they go through that gateway, Danny...
We need to find them before it's too late.
Huh.
Looks like whatever we went through, it only goes one way.
Let's hope we're home.
No signal.
If we are, my place is just round the corner.
This is where Kate and me are getting married.
I just want to get home and see her.
Are you saying that I'm boring?
Man, what is so great about being married?
I want to settle down with the woman that I love.
It just doesn't sound like the dangerous Dan I used to know.
At least I know what I want from life.
Duck!
Stop it! What are you doing?
(Is he still there?)
(He's smoking!)
(Why is he smoking in my house? That's so rude.)
( He cracks neck )
( They scream )
Oh... I love this cardigan.
I love what you've done with the place, man.
Oh, God! Oh!
Oh, I'm never going to get used to seeing myself dead.
It's weird, huh?
It looks like we're spooning.
Yeah.
It is kind of nice, isn't it?
No!
No.
No, seeing our own dead bodies get rigor mortis in the spooning position is not "kind of nice".
I hate to say it, but this is kind of a good thing.
Cos Callum's already k*lled us in this reality.
Yep.
Which means...
Chances are, he isn't coming back. We've got time.
Cool. Time to what?
Take stock. Have a shower.
We could look for Callum Stevens again. You know, Goldenmire.
Now we are talking!
We have plenty of time. We have nothing to worry about.
( Door closes )
We're back!
Except that!
Hi, shitbags.
Hey... fucknose.
Milo! Oh, my God.
Paul.
It has been, like, a Shaft of a long time.
I thought you basically just stayed at your house now and never left, like some kind of a hermit crab.
Why are you elbowing me?! Ow!
It's really nice to see you out and about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
'Scuse me.
What do you want? I can get it for you.
I want to sit down.
We can sit down here, you know.
Grab a coffee and have a chat and a great time.
What is going on? What's in there?
No, no, no, no, no, it's, erm... Erm... A present for you.
And... I haven't wrapped it yet.
Aw, Danny!
You know that delayed gratification is definitely not my thing!
No, no, no, no! I let one rip in there.
It's really bad.
So intense.
It's very bad.
I'm sorry.
Eurgh...
[HE CHUCKLES] Oh, that's not cool, bro.
What the sh*t are we going to do?!
OK, OK.
You keep them busy, I'll clear away the bodies.
Me?!
Paul and Kate hate me.
Maybe in this reality, you'll get on really well.
No, no, you deal with them. I will... hide us.
All right, hands up.
Who's thirsty for rugger?
Rugby is what I mean by that.
Oh. Oh, I know what I meant to show you.
Is that... cocaine?
(MOCKING): "Is that cocaine?" Er, yeah, I believe it is.
It's not as good as the sh*t we had last week, but it will still f*ck your skull quite nicely.
OK, erm...
Where did you get such a massive amount of coke?
It's from Tesco.
The Waitrose sh*t is twice as expensive and not really any better.
OK, this game is turning into one spicy enchilada.
I'm going to go peep it on the widescreen next door.
Wait, no, no. You can't. Milo's... You know, it was an epic smell.
You really don't want to go in there.
I'm no stranger to a wee bit of farteggio, capitaine.
Chillax.
Wait, wait!
( Air raid siren )
Come on.
What's going on?
Ha-ha-ha! Come on, let's go.
Yeah. OK, yeah. Let's... Let's go, let's do that. Milo!
Milo!
Danny, seriously, come on.
Danny?
What about Milo? I need to tell him where we're going.
Like he doesn't know. Come on.
Tannoy: 'This is not a drill. Emergency. This is not a drill.'
Holy sh*t!
Secretary Gowan needs to talk some sense into the Koreans.
Then the Chinese will fall in line. It's easy.
What?
Well, it's not just the slant-eyes, the Russians are playing silly buggers as well.
All that vodka, I reckon. Fried their mind-skis.
Again... What?
Look, I know you don't like talking about all the ins and outs of it, but it's the world we live in.
Well, maybe we should talk about it.
You know, imagine I didn't know anything.
I had no idea what you were talking about.
How would you summarise the whole... whatever's going on?
Fascinating challenge, hermano!
Challenge accepted, so...
Can we just get in the shelter first?
Shelter?
MUSIC PLAYING: Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre
Weird song choice.
( Alarm sounds )
'Please may I have your attention. The all-clear has been given. You may return to your homes. Attention...'
Where the hell did you disappear to?
Oh!
I called for you. How did you even find us?
The first person I saw asked me why I wasn't in "the shelter" and then he sent me in this direction.
I'm just going to go and talk to Paul about something.
OK, yeah, see you in a bit.
Cosy.
Listen, you are never going to believe this.
What, the milkman's got news? Yeah, I know this. What the hell is going on?
Russia, Korea, parts of China and a bunch of counties with "istan" at the end of their names have got nukes pointed at Europe and America.
We've got nukes pointed back at them and it's been that way for years.
Both sides are making threats, no-one's backing down.
That is quite the pickle, mon frere.
Yeah.
How do we go about getting the f*ck out of here then, eh?
We need a plan.
I have no idea.
Brace your backside, hermano. Exciting times ahead.
I've just been talking to Paul about a little surprise we've got for you, so follow me.
OK, OK, you go do what you need to be doing here and I'll go... We'll meet back at the Cat's Tail in an hour or so.
Sure.
Yeah?
Sure.
So... What's going on?
Can I take this off my eyes yet? It stinks.
True that, my lad.
My feet sweat so much sometimes I feel like I'm paddling.
Nice!
So... Where are we? I feel like we've been walking round in circles.
Ta-dah!
We're in the church.
So I literally have been walking round in circles.
I know Harley's kind of naff, but time's short and it seems we're having an alert every other day, so I just thought...
Let's do it! Let's get married, like, right now!
KAPOW!
Sh!
What?!
So all of these people are getting married?
What's the matter with you today? You're usually up for anything.
Of course I am. I'm not boring. I'm totally up for anything.
Yeah! God, let's do it. Let's get f*cking hitched, babes. Sorry.
Hello? Gran, are you home?
Oh, no...
You may kiss the bride.
OK. Who do we have?
Daniel Gates and Kate Riddle.
'So... unless there are any objections,' it's time to get you two lovebirds married.
Oh, wait a second.
( She giggles )
Oh, I shouldn't. Whiskey gives me diarrhoea.
Yeah, screw it! Why not?
Right, bring it!
Erm...
Hey.
Ah, there you are. Look!
This place is like a Cuban bar here.
Right, don't stay out too long, dickwad, or I might have to chain you up again.
Ooh.
See you later, Mr Gates.
See you inside, Mrs Gates.
Did she just...?
[HE GASPS] That's why there's a party in there.
You tied the knot, you sly bastard. You got married!
I didn't have a choice.
Well, you know the bit where he says "Do you so-and-so take this woman to be your wife?" You say no!
I was trying to keep a low profile. Blend in.
And you're the one that says that I always play it safe.
So that's it? You're trying to prove something. I love it.
Good on you, mate. Anyway, look what I found at home.
It's another clue.
How do you know?
Last time we got a cryptic message referring to something only me and you would know about, it led us to that gateway.
"The place where we nicked the halogen lights from"?
Our old school kitchen?
Yes.
Hey...
Danny!
Finally settling down, eh?
Dad, are you smoking a blunt?
You know I don't smoke weed, son. This is Afghan heroin.
Kim loves it.
Kim?
Oh, here we go again with the lecture.
Just because Kim is a teenage Korean rent boy does not mean our relationship isn't very meaningful.
Besides, that boy gobbles it up like it was sauteed chicken.
Everything you just said is wrong on so many levels.
Your problem is you're too bloody repressed, Danny.
You disappoint me, son.
OK, what just happened?
Well, clearly living with the thr*at of nuclear annihilation makes people go crazy.
Come on, let's go.
No, wait, I should tell Kate.
What?
Tell her you're from a parallel world?
The Danny that she thought she married is stuffed in the garden shed between the foldy bit of the lawnmower?
I feel bad for her.
I know, but you didn't k*ll this world's Danny.
Or Milo. None of this is fair. But we have to go.
OK.
Yes, thank you.
This... This is the right place, isn't it?
Yeah. Except it isn't our school any more. They've turned it into this... chair thing.
Hiya.
Hello.
We're just wondering if you could help us.
What is this place?
See, we used to go to school here. We were hoping to get inside.
Bit of a trip down Memory Lane kind of thing.
It'll be a really magical night if you let us in.
Hmm?
Like the Queen's Guard, isn't he?
Mate, you flies are undone, by the way.
Hmm? Oh, he's good.
Come on, Milo. Clearly we're not wanted here because FATTY BOY CAN'T TAKE IT!
He really is good!
Good at that.
( g*n cocks )
sh*t, he's moving. He's moving!
He's moving, go! Go!
sh*t! sh*t!
It's not far now, come on.
We're nearly at the gateway.
How did he find us?
Same way he always does.
Come on!
You can press the button any time.
And go all the way back? No way.
We need to find the others. They might need us.
Well, we sure as sh*t need them. Come on.
( Rapid beeping )
( They yell )
Look, we'll find a way and we'll find Callum.
We put our minds to it and we'll be fine.
And while we're here, it does seem like dr*gs are incredibly easy to come by in this world, so that is always an option.
Hey! Where you been?
Mwah!
Let's go!
I'll come round tomorrow, we'll regroup.
I'll figure out a way of getting out there.
Hey, happy honeymoon.
I'm not going to do anything -- that would be cheating.
Look at me. In this world anything goes.
You saw your dad -- Afghan heroin and a Malaysian rent boy.
Korean.
What's the difference?
Racism.
Look, point is, live it up. Remember dangerous Dan? He would've done it!
Why are you so desperate for me to cheat on Kate?
Is it cheating, though? Can you cheat on a person with themselves?
But it's not her. You know, that's like saying if we give hand jobs to versions of ourselves from another reality, that wouldn't be weird.
Mate, that would...
Yeah, that's definitely weird.
You're avoiding my question.
Why do you want me to cheat on Kate?
Danny, all I want to do is get home, all right? And as far as I'm concerned, the sooner you get laid, the sooner you stop moping about Kate and focus on getting us back.
All right? And maybe just once... you can try enjoying yourself.
Get in there.
Bye!
( They groan )
We're not... No. I'm sorry.
I'm a bit drunk.
Would you like me to help you?...
( They laugh )
No. No, me no likey with the help-y.
I'm battered.
I've got some acid. We can just pound that and then I really want to get naked and just...
( She snores )
'Like, I'm bothered. It's gone up in smoke. Flames. Fire, death. Who gives a f*ck? I hate my life.'
Tannoy: 'There is now a state of emergency in the civil defence headquarters, with the army being called up.'
( Knock on door )
( Knocking continues )
Milo?
Milo?
Callum Stevens specialises in foreskin piercing.
If you're ever in Stoke-on-Trent and you need an expert in genital mutilation, he is your guy.
He's not our guy, but... none of them are.
I got into other me's e-mail account and... well, he was a total recluse.
This whole nuclear sh*t freaked him out and he just never went anywhere.
So, how did his dead body end up at the other me's flat?
Well, by the looks of it, there was a fight here, I'm guessing other me went to hide with other you and was k*lled anyway.
And no-one cares. He was... all alone.
Unlike you, hm? Mr Married.
Nothing happened, if that's what you're asking.
Sure.
Did you find anything that could actually help us?
As a matter of fact, I did.
So, this is what I found.
'For just £10,000 a year, we are offering up the chair package.'
So, a few years back, our school got sold to a private security company.
A lead-lined bunker guaranteed by scientists to withstand a direct nuclear blast.
'This fully air-conditioned bunker has been designed as an optimal living space.'
The chair boasts cinema, cafe, washing facilities, an extensive narcotics cabinet and wine fridge.
'And best of all, your own personal pod.'
For just £10,000 a year, you will have the peace of mind that if the unthinkable does happen, in the chair... everything will be OK.
( expl*si*n )
How the hell are Goldenmire involved in this? OK, OK.
So, all we have to do is break into a private, high-security nuclear bunker before we find ourselves in the middle of World w*r III.
Easy.
Why have you not been answering your phone?
Have you seen the news?
No.
'So, stay with us as we continue to bring you up-to-date news around the clock following Prime Minister Andre's announcement.'
After UN negotiations broke down, 'we hoped the Russian and Korean alliance' would at least consider what was at stake.
But 25 minutes ago, the Russian leader walked out on proceedings.
w*r has been declared.
A direct nuclear att*ck on UK soil is not now merely possible, it's inevitable. I urge you to stay calm, stay with your loved ones.
Find your own mysterious girl and get close to her.
Oh, my God!
I know!
When did Peter Andre become Prime Minister?
It's OK.
We'll get on a train. We'll go north, go to Wales.
How will we get past the blockades?
So, this is it?
This is how I go out? This isn't fair. I've done everything right.
The job, the wedding, the sensible house, and this is what I get?!
( Milo clears his throat )
( He clears his throat )
Guys, still here.
Excuse us, Milo. We got some business.
Dan, what's got into you?
Dangerous Dan!
( He roars )
( Party hubbub )
Oh, Pete!
Do we know each other?
In another life, maybe.
JD and some ketamine.
If it's really the end of the world, then let's get f*cked up.
This'll do.
Here, Pete. Do you know about that bunker?
The one that is where Cromwell School used to be?
Yeah, why?
You got a seat?
You can have a night with my wife. She's big, but she's keen.
No, I don't. And I'm all right for that.
I was just wondering, has anyone just tried to, like, storm the place?
I've never really thought about that before.
Yeah.
See you around, son.
( Door slams )
( Glass breaks )
Danny?
Wagwan, m*therf*cker? Thought I'd find you in here.
You were totally right, mate.
Getting married, working in insurance and playing it safe -- no more, Milo, my man.
Yeah, yeah.
What are you wearing?
I stole it, baby!
And guess what? Me and Kate, we did it. A lot.
We did... all kinds of things. You know, sex things.
Yeah.
And then I left her sleeping. I've been stealing sh*t ever since.
Excellent.
Yeah, I've got dr*gs from the supermarket, booze...
Love that.
.. Pringles! Everyone loves Pringles.
♪ It's the final countdown... ♪
I f*cking love this song! Yes! Get in!
( Glass smashes )
( He cheers )
I'm going to go and steal more stuff. Dangerous Dan is back!
Hey, tell him what you told me about the bunker.
That we should storm it?
( They all cheer )
Storm the bunker?
All: Yeah!
Why do they get to sit in first class while we are reduced to dust?
( Cheering )
Who d*ed and made him King of England? Not us, that's for sure.
Let's take back the power. Power to be little man.
Take back what's ours!
(CHANTING): Take back what's ours! Take back what's ours!
All: Take back what's ours! Take back what's ours!
OK!
Vive la revolution!
( Cheering )
Oi! Why, hello, fatty boy. Are you going to let us in now? Please.
Step away from the fence, sir. This is private property and we are licensed to respond with force.
We're here to take back what's ours.
All: Yeah.
Take back what's...
( Zapping )
Oh, sh*t.
( Crowd gasps )
Now, I'm asking you to step back!
Yes, sure.
( Car horn beeps )
Milo! I've got your back.
Where did you get a car from?
I stole it, baby!
( Car engine revs )
Balls!
Loudspeaker: 'Move back from the fence.
'This is private property.'
We're going to get nuked, aren't we?
You saw Peter Andre.
That was a guy that knew we were totally going to get nuked.
f*ck!
'Move back!'
I've just started living, Milo. I've just started f*cking living!
Why haven't I been more like you, you know? Just do what you want.
Look where that's got me.
Let's have that drink, huh?
( expl*si*n )
Kate?
Oh, for f... Can you just shut up about Kate. Kate, Kate, Kate!
All is all you ever talk about is...
Kate! What the hell is she doing here?
Kate!
Honey, is that you?
You look... different.
Nope, not mine!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're the Kate from outside The Cat's Tail.
You kneed me in the balls.
Oh, you're THAT Danny!
Yeah. Dangerous Dan!
Well... sorry. Excuse me.
What are you doing?
Just looking for my Milo and Danny and getting nowhere, as usual.
You look amazing in leather.
What are you doing?!
Pretty much whatever I want. It's awesome. You should try it.
f*ck it, it's been ages!
( Angry shouts )
'Move back from the fence. This is private property.'
Tannoy: 'Raids of a scale never seen before in the history of mankind have wiped out huge cities across the world. Martial law has been declared across the UK. In his last words before entering the Downing Street shelter, the Prime Minister issued a statement...'
Where have you been? New York and Paris have burnt to sh*t overnight.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, and we're next.
Wait, we're not dead yet.
We're not dead yet. Which means...
I cheated on Kate twice.
Twice?
Once with this Kate and then another time with another Kate.
You cheated on Kate with two other Kates. Mate, you really have a type, don't you?
It was the one with the sword. I didn't even bother trying to get the wristband off of her.
Oh, bloody Dangerous Dan!
( Wailing )
No-o-o-o!
( Wailing continues )
No-o-o-o-o!
It's f*cking Paul.
You... You're here!
But you're dead.
Paul, calm down. It's OK.
No, it's not OK. No, no, no, no. You...
I came over to pick up your friends and family pass to the chair for us, but you weren't here!
So, I thought, "Sod this! Paolo is not going out like that." So, I broke in!
Sorry... about that.
It's OK. It's OK.
I-I-I came over...
Jesus, Milo.
Yeah, sorry, but he was doing my head in, so...
Look, we haven't got time to waste, we've got the documents to find.
Right, right. If I had a pass to the chair, where would I keep it?
Those passes have to be here somewhere.
This photo was taken the day I proposed.
The place we nicked the halogen lights from. That's the same clue as before.
Someone really wants us to get into that school.
( He laughs )
And now we can.
( They cheer )
Yeah, man.
Look, I'm just going to leave one for Kate.
This is what the other me would have wanted.
Yeah. Just quickly, yeah?
I'm so confused. You know, I thought Danny from here was Dangerous Dan.
Like Kate is. You know, live for the moment.
So, why has he got insurance?
Because, Danny boy, deep down you are just a sensible, insurance-loving bastard.
Mwah!
( Crowd shouts )
This is definitely what you need when you're really hungover.
Excuse me. Sorry. Scuse me.
Hey, solidarity, my brother!
Yeah, good to see you.
Hey, can't keep us out, eh?
Power to the people!
( Cheering )
Yeah. Two, please.
Crowd: Take back what's ours!
( Gate beeps )
Hey, hey, hey!
( Crowd shouts )
Die, you bourgeois pigs!
( Crowd shouts )
The old kitchens were round to the left.
Perfect.
Mr Gates. Mr Edwards.
Your credentials have been verified.
If you'd like to take the elevator.
You don't remember me, do you?
Hang on, Stacey Flatley!
Yeah.
Oh, my God!
Hey!
You look amazing.
Your hair's blonde now. That's a thing, isn't it?
Last time I saw you I was...
Fingering me up a tree.
Ah, to be young again.
We were going to go this way.
The old school building's now used as The Chair corporate offices.
You can't get in without a key card.
Like yours.
There's really nothing exciting in there, to be honest.
Thank you for choosing The Chair.
And I'm glad to see you in here, Milo. You look good.
You look good, too.
Sorted. All we need's that key card from Stacey and we are out of here.
And how do you plan on getting that?
Well, we are just one classic Milo seduction away from getting the hell out of crazy town.
Just need to go downstairs, do my hair, get my game face on and, I'll be honest, take a sh*t and then I'm coming right back up here. Cheer up.
Hard to believe that my life depends on copping off with Stacey Flatley.
Lucky you.
Ah, welcome to The Chair.
Please, follow me.
It is never as good as the brochure, is it?
As long as it's nuke-proof, who gives a sh*t?
Your pod.
Please call if we can be of any assistance.
Thank you.
'Unrest throughout the country is escalating. Food supplies are desperately low.'
Right, I'm going to use the facilities.
I feel terrible.
Hm?
This world's Danny is dead and the things I did with his Kate...
Danny, can this wait, because I've...
I had it all figured out.
I was going to get married, live happily ever after and...
I feel your pain but I really, really need to poo, so...
'I think it's only a matter of days, really, before the rebels overrun the entire capital.'
Your pod.
Kate, you made it! You must've been right behind us!
What?
I can't believe that you secretly spent a f*ck-ton of money on private shelter insurance.
I know it's not right but at least we're safe.
I have to find my parents, my friends, I can't be here.
You can join me if you want but I'm not staying.
Hey, hey, hey! Look...
( Crowd shouts )
The moment has passed. It's gone back in. Hello, Kate. Let's go.
Operation Flatley begins now.
Give me a minute, OK?
Just let go of me, Danny.
Kate wants to go to the surface.
Yeah, highly not recommended.
Dan, let's go.
I'll catch up, OK?
( Crowd shouts )
Stacey.
I was just downstairs chilling out and got me thinking...
Me, too.
OK.
( Shouting )
Let's take this somewhere a little less filled with the sound of rioting.
Huh?
Look at them!
Corporate bloodsuckers staying safe and leaving us to burn.
String him up!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Me! Me!
Yeah!
And you. You're the Danny who appeared in my house and you're the one who gave us the wristband.
This door won't hold for long.
Oh, what is going on?
Where's the other Danny?
Oh, he's back in the bunker.
Kate was freaking out and it's always about Kate.
Both: You're just like me.
No sh*t, Sherlock.
We need to go and find Danny, so...
Follow us.
No, no, not until I know what's going on.
Since you guys rocked up into my life, it's been a massive sh*t sandwich. A double-decker sh*t sandwich.
Ask whatever you like but, while we talk, we move.
How did you know we were here?
You're following the clues.
Fingering Stacey, the halogen lights. That's all us.
Why are you helping me? Why did you come and see me?
Why did you say I was special?
There's someone trying to k*ll me and him so they're wiping out every Milo and Danny in existence.
But why?
Bad luck.
Back in our world, we broke into a house that we thought was empty to get stoned.
Classic us.
Only it wasn't empty.
It was filled with all this weird sh*t, gadgets, screens.
When we were looking around, Callum came in.
He starts threatening us, telling us he's going to k*ll us for what we've seen. In the sh*t-yourself panic, we grabbed some wristbands, pressed some buttons, ended up somewhere else.
You're going to take me home?
Come on.
You all right now?
You OK?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I just lost it.
I don't blame you.
Now, I know this is going to sound a bit weird but I...
I actually have to go somewhere, myself.
What?
( Buzzing )
What the hell is that?
( Shouting )
And what about Kate?
She was with us when we stole the wristbands.
It was the three of us for a while.
Jumping through realities, trying to stay alive, then we got separated and we've been trying to find her ever since.
She's been trying to find you too. Yeah, that makes sense.
On the way, we've been trying to help every version of us we can find.
And why not just tell us all this in the first place?
I did. I told you the night I came to you.
Well, I was very high at the time.
( Shouting )
Up on the table.
Oh, what? This is the gateway?
Oh. OK.
I thought we were going to find Danny through some super-secret back way.
We will go back for Danny, we promise, but not until you're safe.
No. I don't even know why this is happening.
Why are you even trying to help me?
There's no time to explain, Milo. You have to go.
That jacket, little bit messed up.
Yeah.
Take it off. Here, take this one.
Sweet.
( Mob shouts )
Oh, my God.
The news says that the police helping guard outside have turned on Goldenmire.
They're helping the crowd sh**t their way in.
We're going to be OK.
( Glass smashes )
You are dead!
Go, go, go!
They're through. Go, Milo. Go.
No, I'm not going anywhere without...
There is no time. Come on.
Look, you said you can go and get him so go and get him.
It's now or never. They're getting closer.
He chose to stay behind with Kate.
He was willing to die for that choice.
Are you?
It's going to be fine. We're going to be OK.
We're going to be absolutely, completely fine.
Come on!
Ooh, no.
No, I'm not going!
01x03 - Episode Three
"Tripped" follows the high-flying adventures of Danny, a 24-year-old trying to get his life in order, and Milo, his stoner friend. Things get strange when Danny appears to Milo "carrying a sword claiming to be from another dimension." From there, the two embark on a journey through a parallel universe where "the pair soon realize dangerous assassins seem intent on hunting them down and k*lling them."