03x13 - Will You Play With Me?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Magicians". Aired: December 2015 to April 2020.*
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"The Magicians" follows a young man who enrolls to be trained as a magician, where he discovers that the magical world from his favorite childhood books is real and poses a danger to humanity. Based on the novel of the same name.
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03x13 - Will You Play With Me?

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "The Magicians"

I'll send you on an epic quest.

Q, I think this is it.

"The Tale of the Seven Keys.

" Okay, if fixing magic is, like, so important to you, then you should just talk to this crazy guy that I met back in Athens one time.

You mean Prometheus?

He's dead.

Damn it!

He told me this crazy story one time about how there was, like, a secret back door to magic.

I have magic.

I have to be able to do something with it.

I planted a seed for you to grow.

It doesn't matter where it comes from.

It matters what you do with it.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

"The Tale of the Seven Keys," chapter eight.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

The Knight remained imprisoned at the Castle at the End of the World.

Not even a warrior as great as he could break the bonds placed on him by the Witch.

He could not escape.

But his daughter, now every bit the knight her father was, and more so, never gave up.

She fought monsters, real and imagined, without as well as within.

She had won all seven keys, and now she set sail for the Castle at the End of the World.

Okay, tick-tock.

Does it say where the castle is?

Shh, Bambi.

Let him read.

Just saying, andale.

Okay, so she faces the door of the castle.

In the door, there were seven keyholes.

The door swallowed the keys whole and slowly opened.

Up ahead, she saw her father, bound by seven chains.

"Father," she cried, "I'm here to save you.

" She placed the keys into the locks, - and when she turned the seventh - Sorry, time out.

I thought the weird door swallowed the keys.

Yeah, no, it did, but then But then she has them again?

I'm not that drunk.

This is sloppy plotting.

Or it's a paradox.

- Hmm.

- That's a clue.

Oh, we're ed.

The ing Library is ready to swoop in with a what's it called?

Siphon, and it's not that simple.

Takes a lot of power to charge it, and they don't have those kind of reserves just lying around, thanks to Julia freeing those fairies.

Yeah, well, it's the Library.

They'll think of something.

All we gotta do is b*at them to it.

I mean, their window of time to even use the, uh, whatchamacallit - is super short, right?

- [INDISTINCT VOICES]

Less than a minute, once we turn the key.

There you go.

Get all this done before Our Lady of the Tree, help us.

Please, help me!

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Hi, Julia.

Pleasure to finally meet you.

I'm Iris, messenger goddess, bon vivant, rainbow aficionado.

Let's chat.

Who's Our Lady of the Tree?

You are.

I presume they mean the trees you brought back in Fillory.

Lovely act of penance.

Good moniker for you.

Just what are you saying?

You fulfilled the task Our Lady Underground gave you to grow the spark and now you are the flame.

So I'm A full-on goddess, correct.

[GASPS]

Holy sh*t.

Shall we go?

We have a lot of work to do, love, all very exciting.

I'm sort of in the middle of this quest.

Oh, that.

They can take it from here.

Your concerns are greater now.

Your duty to them is over.

[ETHEREAL MUSIC]

And by the way, so is all that pain.

You can put it down.

Okay.

I mean, should I, like, bow?

No.

I mean, I'm still me.

Well, you're clearly not.

I mean, it's been kind of hard to ignore the nuclear power plant radiating off you the last couple weeks.

[LAUGHS]

I don't know, just wanted us to finish this together, you know?

Mm, me too, but I mean, let's be honest, like, you deserve this.

Why me?

Life is unfair, but I'm good with it occasionally working out for people that I actually love.

Our Lady of the Tree.

[LAUGHTER]

No, it's good.

Yeah, it's good.

It's formal.

Very formal.

[TENDER MUSIC]

I'm gonna miss you too.

What was that?

It's enough juice for a one-off spell.

You know, just in case, like, a giant "Indiana Jones" boulder comes hurtling at you.

You can fight it off.

I love you, Jules.

I love you too.

Goodbye, Quentin.

[WHOOSH]

[SIGHS]

[DARK MUSIC]

- Any headway?

Well, wasted a few hours looking at castles, but think I'm onto something, or someone, who could help us.

I've been tripping on this, hard.

It's the witch, in the castle, sitting at a table, on which another, smaller, castle - Yeah?

- Well, either this is some.

M. C. Escher, "the castle goes on forever" sh*t, or that picture means something.

Do you see these?

These are drafting tools for architects.

Right, she's the architect that that Reynard talked about, that she's oh, my God, she's the one that, uh she made the prison for the mistakes of the gods, and she she hid it.

She knows where it is.

We need to find her, Q.

There are, like, 50 minor gods of architecture and the arts.

Well, come at me.

Let's get 'em all down here.

I mean, full-on goddess, huh?

Look, I mean, I get that Julia has been through some sh*t, but seriously, it just seems random.

So it's like life, then?

I don't know.

I'm happy for her.

Me too.

Might as well be.

Well, I'd be happier if she stayed, so she could help us.

Look, she seemed pretty positive that we could do this without her, so You forgot Calypso.

Like the musical style?

The witch that imprisoned Odysseus.

And I love you, El, but how the hell did you pass AP Lit - without ever reading?

- I didn't.

So, according to the story, she was a nymph, which not a god, but I assume a pretty powerful creature, considering she had him in lockdown for, like, seven full years on an island called Ogai Ogiji?

- Ogijia?

- [SOFTLY]

Ogygia.

However that's pronounced.

Cool.

Great.

So do we book tickets?

No, it's not it's not a real place.

Hold on, okay, so Ogai ogaiga, or however you say it, is a island um, in the fictional tale of "The Odyssey.

" It's a clothing label, a Eurovision band, a tech company they make games.

Oh, my God.

I know them.

I worship them.

They're the Candy Collider people.

I nearly spent $600 on level 593.

It took me 12 straight days.

There are prisons, and there are prisons.

Right?

We're all just 24/7, "Like my post.

" Beep-boop!

Selfie!

[LAUGHS]

Right?

No one's No one Okay, so the CEO is a woman named Callie.

Great.

Vámonos.

Okay, look, I'll talk to you because I promised Prometheus I would, and I would never break my word to him, but for the record, I'm not a fan.

Of you, this big magic quest, the whole ing thing.

It's the reason Prometheus is dead.

So as far as I'm concerned, you're a big part of why he's dead.

No, I we don't Yeah, of course you don't.

You're humans.

Little human Magicians.

He loved you so.

All right, here it is.

The Castle was the greatest commission of my career.

To design a prison that secure for clients of that caliber [HOLLOW MUSICAL TONE]

When I explained that I would need the most steadfast jailors, Prometheus offered to help find them, create them with a quest.

Always was good at quests.

So you trapped some poor girl into being your sl*ve for the rest of her life.

She's there of her own will, as was her father, who offered himself as, well, bait, really.

A sort of damsel in distress for his daughter to save.

I gave them each an opportunity to perform a sacred task to keep the world safe.

I assure you, she can leave if she wishes.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Surely the quest has taught you, sacrifice is part of everything.

Um, so when, uh, Prometheus was looking to hide his back door I had already designed the perfect place.

A place full of monsters where no one wants to look.

He promised he would make his quest difficult, so no quester could get anywhere near my prison who couldn't ensure it remained secure.

He channeled every atom of power into the keys.

So he, like, Horcruxed himself?

Jesus.

Someone got bit hard by the martyr bug.

All I can say is he believed in you.

He said he saw a time to come when you would save us if you had magic.

He believed this completely.

What what does that mean?

Guess we'll find out, if you get to the end.

He gave everything for you, and then his enemies came, knowing he was weak.

With his power gone, he couldn't stop them, and they were strong.

[SIGHS]

Sorry.

It was a long time ago.

So you don't suppose you want to tell us where your prison's at, and/or how to get in?

[LAUGHS]

I've waiting to tell you since the day he made the keys.

[UNEASY MUSIC]

Wait, this looks like is that Fillory?

It's upside-down.

Looked like that before Ember and Umber got there, when it was just a distant, wild little world.

Oh, my God.

There's a a theory about Castle Whitespire, that the dwarves based it on the most perfect design that they'd ever seen, a castle called Blackspire, but Ember destroyed it.

More like flipped the whole thing over and started over on the other side.

So my castle is based on your prison?

What can I say?

I'm constitutionally incapable of designing an ugly building.

So Blackspire's still there, it's just underneath.

Yes.

Good luck with your quest.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Hey, lady, come on.

- How do we get in?

The key paradox.

- Let me get one thing clear: everything I put the girl through, I did to prepare her for what's locked inside.

You'll find your way in, and you'll find a way to do it safely and securely, but whatever you do, there's one simple thing you need to understand above everything else.

What's locked inside that castle [HAUNTING MUSIC]

Can never, ever be allowed to escape.

Begging pardon, we need your official permission.

As acting High King.

Oh.

You have my permission to implement the new schedule.

Excellent, Your acting Majesty.

And if it's no trouble, bring the tax collector's latest expense reports.

I would like to double-check them.

Sorry.

Of course.

Right away.

[SYNTH MUSIC]

You need to stop apologizing.

You'd do well to remember, that power comes from High King Margo, but it flows through you.

Is there something you need?

Yes.

Six fairies have disappeared in two days.

And how are you certain this is I found this.

I believe it's a part of a magical device imparting night vision to paltry human eyes.

There is no magic.

Someone's hunting my people.

[OTHERWORLDLY MUSIC]

What is this?

My lab, where I come to think, answer texts, create worlds.

Wait, do I get to create worlds?

I mean, we'll start with one.

You'll split your time between the lab and answering the prayers of your choice.

But I'll be blunt.

The work we do here is much more vital to the big picture, but we find that morale stays higher if we heal a kid or two a few times a week.

One more thing.

My friends How come I can still feel them?

Takes a bit for those connections to dissolve.

Q is stressing, and Fen I know that she wants to help save these fairies' lives but This is the discipline.

You need to keep from being seduced.

You're wasted if you expend too much energy trying to look after every last fairy when you could be building and shaping worlds where no fairy ever comes to harm.

Why don't I show you?

So do we think the knight chick is somehow still in there?

It's god magic, so anything's possible.

We really don't know what could be in there.

I'll Travel in.

Excuse us for caring, but no.

We don't know what you'd be blipping into, and we still have enough Penny blood on our hands from the last Penny.

Okay.

Say we do find some window.

We know this knight is gonna help us?

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

[THUNDERCLAPS]

[OMINOUS DRONE]

Hi.

- [GASPS]

- You're asleep.

I'm in your head, not his.

[TENDER MUSIC]

It's a dream.

You have magic.

Had.

Uh, it's sort of a one-off.

- Listen - Ora.

I'm Quentin.

I need your help.

You're here about the fountain?

The back door to magic?

Yeah.

I can't help.

Uh, because you're - guarding all the - No.

They're all gone.

He's the only one left.

Did they all die, or?

He k*lled them all.

You can't imagine what he's capable of.

That's why I can't do anything for you.

I cannot risk the security of my charge.

I get that.

I have something to offer you too.

Julia gave you a hit of magic, and you did what?

Incepted the knight in the castle.

That magic was for k*lling a monster.

Why waste it on chatting with the help?

When Calypso told us that Ora was there on her own accord, I I figured she must know more than one way in and out of the castle, and she does, and she's going to open it for us.

In exchange for All you have to do is get in, turn the key, and get out fast.

Um, what about the monster?

- Ora will take care of the monster.

- What about you?

I stay in the castle.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

It's a fair deal.

She's been there for centuries, and she's tired, and I'm I'm strong enough, thanks to the quest, so I'm the new jailor.

- This isn't the solution.

- I second that.

Alice, who's the one that d*ed for us?

You were willing to stay in Fillory for forever.

How is this different?

Someone has to step up.

Quick alternative pitch: take the g*n with the god-k*lling b*llet and sh**t the ing monster in the face.

Second second that, yes.

No.

I promised, no clever stuff.

It's more bloody and straightforward.

Look, this monster, it's not a joke.

We cannot let it escape, and the only way to make sure that it doesn't is to do this the hard way.

The quest taught us that it's like that sometimes.

I don't like this.

Me neither, but I'm going to do it.

Hello, love.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, sh*t.

- It's a human.

- [SIGHS]

It's also the current ruler of Fillory.

Hello.

We've met, so we can get right to the part where I tell you to stop stealing fairies to chop up.

They are full citizens of Fillory.

You will cease at once.

Full citizens.

Well, la Di da.

[LAUGHS]

- Escort them to the - Ah, ah, ah.

Know what a traveler is?

We can blip on out of here and go about our beeswax anytime we please.

I have something you very much need in the castle.

[SOFT PIANO MUSIC]

They won't be but a moment.

And may I say, sir, how much I admire your suit.

I've been passing bunnies with Margo.

They are very close to turning magic back on.

Hooray for them.

And you must know the reason Irene is poaching fairies is she needs a huge amount of energy to power a a thing that must be placed just as it's connected, within seconds, in order to Let me save your breath.

I don't care.

You should.

If we keep her long enough, we can stop her from derailing magic and taking it for herself and for the Library.

This is the future we're talking about.

Not our future.

I cannot risk another soul.

I know exactly how to deal with this.

So, what are you offering, exactly?

I broke a deal.

It's my fault we're vulnerable.

[UNEASY MUSIC]

I offer you the magic of 50 fairies with a single body.

You know the power of royal marrow.

You're volunteering to die?

In exchange for a new agreement.

- Wait.

- No fairy will be hunted by a non-fairy anywhere, ever, and this deal cannot be broken, for any reason, by any being, ever.

Swear to that, and you have me.

Time is of the essence.

My offer expires in one minute.

I'm gonna need a table with restraints, uh, a bone saw, knives, and a grinder.

There must be another way.

The deal I struck with Irene will finally make it possible for my people to be safe and free.

Tears for your enemy?

Any day now.

My God.

Where did it turn out to be?

Alice?

This Castle at the End of the World?

Fillory.

Underneath.

Castle Blackspire.

- How did you - I was a fan, too, once.

Hmm.

I need a favor.

I have this, and I know it's wrong, and I'll never use it again, but I need it.

To?

I hear you have an experimental potion that not only wipes your memory, but creates a whole new persona.

I do, but what?

I'll always be tempted.

Once I can feel it everywhere again, and unless I have no memory.

Alice, you are you are one of the most brilliant Magicians I've ever seen.

I didn't choose to be!

I want to live my life, not how my parents raised me to think, or what you taught me, or what the Library wants me to do.

I'm not sure if that's the best path to happiness.

What if there is no best path?

Huh?

I don't know.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

All I know is the one I'm on is a bad one And I'm stepping off.

Once you've [SNIFFS]

Yes?

Drink this.

Give it about a full day for everything to get rebooted.

After that, you are on your own.

Thank you.

[UNEASY MUSIC]


So?

We need to talk about our arrangement.

You tell anyone else?

Please don't.

Of course not.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

You're the only one that I wanted had to tell.

Look, I know that I don't show it or act like it all the time, but but you're you're the one that I love, Q.

You're the one.

And the only thing I'm going to regret is not remembering that.

Well Well, I'll remember for the both of us.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

You made a deal you will regret.

You'll never know.

True.

But I'll die a queen, not some mediocre, power-hungry girl.

[Kn*fe SQUELCHES]

["JAGWAR" BY SHELLS PLAYING]

Give a little, get it all Honey and gold for the taking Fire up my ember heart Can you feel the ground beneath I wouldn't hold you Make you my c*ptive Don't hold me too And the tighter your grip Yeah the harder I'm pulling Till we fall through I'm the jagwar calling I make a bad, bad prisoner I'm a bird free falling Wasn't born just to please you If you love it let it go If you love it If you love it let it go If you love it Throw Throw a kiss into the wind As I said, I'm only alive because I fulfill its need.

To be entertained.

Served, coddled.

Loved.

Loved, like A child.

Okay, that's better than my first thought.

Right now, he thinks we're playing a game.

Hide and seek.

It's the only way to ensure he'd stay diverted long enough to let you in, and right now, he's getting bored.

What's up?

In case I get held up.

Don't.

Hear me?

You got this, okay?

[THUNDERCLAP]

My love?

[CHEERFULLY]

I found you!

I tag you!

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[QUIETLY]

Give it a moment.

Does it have a name?

No.

What makes it so dangerous?

The gods created something that simply wants.

So it has to know one secure place and constant love.

If not, if its appetite goes unfed and it's unleashed, even the gods can't stop it.

Love?

Come out!

Did you fall asleep?

Yeah, but what can it do?

[CHUCKLE]

Will you play with me?

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Eliot!

No!

- f*ck, Eliot - How?

God-k*lling b*llet.

This is not what we agreed on.

I didn't actually agree on anything, but I did decide that one of my best friends wouldn't spend the rest of his life locked in a prison, guarding what turns out to be a really not-so-scary monster.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Wait, where'd she go?

Anyway, it's done.

You spent a little bit too much time as a king.

Well, that's really not the issue now, is it?

Could've used some Goo Gone and a toothbrush, - but I think we're good to go.

- All right, let's go.

- Let's go.

Come on, come on.

- All right b*tches, everyone grab a key.

Alice, what are you doing?

Nothing good.

- No!

- Margo!

[HUMMING]

[SIZZLING]

She's destroying the keys!

I have to.

You don't get to decide that the whole universe doesn't have magic.

I'll never remember this.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Alice why?

You you talked me out of working for the Library.

I realize there's no good side.

Magic just makes people different shades of bad, selfish and irresponsible.

We can't handle it!

You can't handle it.

It's wrong.

We're wrong.

And it stops now!

[SIZZLING]

ALL: Ah!

What are you doing?

I'm gonna cut the bitch, grab her fairy coke power-up, and fix this.

So, where shall we start?

Ocean?

Cute little landmass?

Dealer's choice.

[ETHEREAL CHIMING]

I know you can still feel them.

You need to let them go.

I know, but it's bad.

In a blink, it'll be good again, and in two blinks, they'll be long gone.

He's on the floor.

He's He's not getting up.

He'll die, not giving up.

Can't you feel his heart?

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

No, 'cause I don't do what you're doing.

You need to let them go.

Remember the future we're creating.

[UNEASY DRONE]

Will you play with me?

[LAUGHS]

[THUNDERCLAP]

- Hey!

- Ah!

You think you can cast faster than I can s*ab?

Go!

- Please, listen to me.

The knight - Ah, shut the up and - Fix this.

- Now.

Uh-uh.

There's no point.

The magic's gone.

It's done.

He's right.

[TENDER MUSIC]

Jules.

None of your pain is what we'd call quiet, especially yours.

I know you thought this was for everyone's good.

You'll see someday, it wasn't.

For now, I need you to stay out of the way.

[UNEASY MUSIC]

[BREATHING RAPIDLY]

I want you to know, it's your bravery made me see.

See what?

What I need to do.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

What are you doing?

What Prometheus did.

Whore-crotching.

- Horcruxing.

- Oh.

- Look, Jules, are you sure?

- Shh.

Julia, you could lose your power.

[BUILDING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

[GASPING]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

- Hurry.

- You okay?

[ROUSING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

- [GRUNTS]

- Okay, okay.

Hey, I got you.

I got you.

Come on.

Are you okay?

It hurt.

And I'm not con connected to anything anymore.

- I got you.

- Are you guys ready?

[INDISTINCT SPEECH]

Let's do this.

[LOUD CLICKS]

[UNEASY MUSIC]

[RUMBLING]

[GURGLING]

[WATER RUSHING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[QUIET WHOOSH]

[UNEASY DRONE]

Dean Fogg?

[GASPS, CHOKING]

Travel, Penny, I k*ll them all.

[CHUCKLES]

[ALL CHOKING]

Irene We do have a deal.

Unless you want to have a problem with the Library.

[ALL GASPING FOR AIR]

The very essence is altered by the slightest deviation in finger position.

Watch closely.

The difference is in the position of the right middle finger.

[MUSIC STUTTERING]

[SIGHS]

Sorry, looks like we're having another power issue.

The rations are wholly inadequate.

I can't even assign homework!

Do the best you can.

I'll attempt to renegotiate for our supply.

How?

I'm afraid we can't revisit your supply until next quarter.

I've spoken to the Board.

- Which Board?

- North American Fourth District.

Calgary enrollment hasn't bounced back the way we have.

They're barely using 2/3 of their allotment, and they've offered it to us.

Both you and they need to bring a written request to In triplicate.

You'll have a decision by the 31st.

Excellent.

There's just one more request.

My answer hasn't changed.

She made a deal with us, then broke it.

Unlike the others, she belongs to the Library.

I just would like to see her.

Please.

Where are they?

Per the deal, as struck with the Order, safe.

No, no, no, no, no, they're not.

Alice, the McAllistairs can't find them, and if they try, the Library's retribution will be swift.

Not the McAllistairs!

That thing!

It can jump bodies, I told you.

You should know, that alone is a very dangerous ability.

If they don't know who they are, if they don't have magic, they can't protect themselves.

Okay.

Hypothetically, this thing gets loose.

Why would it go after them?

It's seen them.

It knows magic is back.

It knows they're Magicians, even if they don't.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sophie, hit pause on your idiocy for a sec.

Janet?

Hi, I'm Isaac.

You're late.

Me, too.

Uh, luckily, I don't recognize the legality of red lights.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

One way or another I'm gonna find you I'm gonna get you One way or another I'm gonna win you I'm gonna get you, get you One way or another I'm gonna see you Gonna meet you One day maybe next week Gonna meet you Gonna meet you But I will Drive by your house And if The lights are all out I'll see Quentin.

I found you.

Oh, uh, no, sorry, I'm Brian.

Do a card trick for me, Quentin.

[LAUGHS]

Come on.

Will you play with me?

I'm sorry, I think you've got me mistaken for somebody else, but I you know I saw it.

I've felt it!

Even the gods are afraid of it.

This is your fault, just as much as it is mine.

Get me out of here!

Help me stop it.

One way or another I'm gonna win you I'm gonna get you, get you One way or another I'm gonna see you Gonna meet you One day Don't be scared.

This is great!

There's so much for us to do together.

I can't wait to get started on all the people who really deserve our wrath.

Um, no, look, please, I'm not I This is gonna be so fun.

I think anything is more fun when you do it with a friend.
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