02x06 - The Ecstasy and the Agony

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Faking It"...

I knew I couldn't be with Liam and keep our friendship so I chose you.

Chose me?

I gotta go.

Hey, shrimp girl.

There are no boyfriends around me, right now.

Not out yet so, have to keep things discreet.

Right.

If you love something set it free.

I could go after morning church but I have to be back by evening church.

Lauren, what are you babbling on about, I tuned you out after something about a turkey leg.

The renaissance faire this weekend.

As fun as that doesn't sound, I'm keeping my weekend open.

After a certain recent kiss from a certain individual I'm expecting a certain invitation at any moment.

You're certain?

They have live jousting.

This is even better than I dreamed it would be.

And I dreamed about it a lot.

You dreamed about us holding hands?

'Cause I dreamed about us doing other things.

In public, no more secret art room make outs, no more secrets at all.

Oh, hey.

Hey.

Red rover, red rover, send Karma right over.

She's all yours.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, an infinity of thank yous for putting us back together.

Uh-huh, so movie night, should we watch the documentary on the Egyptian revolution or the one on Indonesian death squads?

Too dark?

There's one on prison talent shows.

I know that Friday has traditionally been movie night, but traditions evolve.

For instance, did you know that Friday used to be called "day of frigg"?

Go on your date, Karma, it's not a big deal.

Are you sure?

I'm so excited, this'll be our first date.

I'm sorry, that was... that was totally insensitive of me.

Oh, bad Karma.

What kind of best friend would I be if you can't talk about the guy you're dating?

Really? Are you sure?

Totally.

S02E06 - The Ecstacy and the Agony

What is this, anyway? A commentary on the sad state of plumbing in the 21st century?

It'll make sense when I'm done.

My, my, there sure is an extra bounce in your bang today, Booker, and here I thought happiness was the death of creativity.

No way, the ideas are flowing, I feel revitalized.

Aren't you forgetting one massive, bulging, prick-ling problem?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You slept with Amy.

I'm not in denial about... that, I'm just burying it deep, deep down. For Karma's sake.

How selfless of you.

I make her happy, she makes me happy.

The world needs more happiness.

I never thought we'd see the day, Liam Booker, legit boyfriend.

Liam Booker is my boyfriend, my very first boyfriend.

It's like getting your first car, and surprise, it's a Ferrari.

I hear they get terrible gas mileage.

Time to update my online relationship status.

Sorry, market, I am off you.

So, you two are exclusive?

Well, uh, we haven't officially discussed it, but it's like a given after everything we've been through.

This is "the" Liam Booker we're talking about.

Arab princes have had smaller harems.

Well, that's all in the past now.

I just want you to be careful, is all, don't assume anything until you talk to him.

You're right. But I'm sure his head's in the same place.

Hi. Can we talk?

Uh, yeah, sure. But first, let me show you this.

Oh, okay.

Wow, it's uh...

Here, turn it on.

Whoa. Amazing.

It oughta be, you inspired it.

So tonight is the Hester art show.

I usually don't go to these things, but, this time I kinda want to show off.

Well, I don't blame you.

No, not the piece, you.

So, what did you want to talk about?

Oh, um, just wanted to tell you that you're the best boyfriend, ever.

And you're the best... muse.

Uh-uh, no way, this couch is mine.

You and Karma can watch a movie on your laptop, in you room, for once.

Karma's on a date with Liam.

What are you watching?

Can't decide. You can drive.

As long as I get veto power.

Ooh, how do you feel about Seth Rogen?

Only if he's an animated character, and even then just barely.

[Cell phone vibrating]

Waiting to hear from someone?

No, I'm waiting for you to pick a [Bleep] movie.

A scary movie!

You ass [Bleep]!

[Bleep] you!

Two girls, home alone, with the front door unlocked?

That's catnip for serial K*llers.

Come on, I'm taking you out. I just got the pin for a super secret underground dance party.

I don't like being underground... fear of being buried alive.

Didn't gays invent apps full of boy toys just for occasions like this?

True, but tonight I'm not looking for a trashy hook up.

I wanna have fun... with my friend.

I'm sorry, did you think this was optional?

'Cause no. Trust me, you need this.

Karma's out having fun and so should you.

Guess it's all yours.

Sweet, now let's get you changed into something more... anything else.

Strange, I'm having this weird sensation inside.

I think it might be sympathy.

Ah, should we? She is my sister...

Ish.

She might not even wanna go.

Hey Lauren, would you wanna...

Go to a sweaty club where randos can dry hump me? No, thank you.

On second thought, I did just buy new shoes that need to be broken in.

So, here we are.

I know what you're thinking, "Am I in Soho?"

But you're not, you're in the art studio.

Cleans up well, like you, my beautiful...

Muse.

Yeah, I heard you the first time.

Uh, will you excuse me? I have to take this.

It's not ringing.

But it will be, I'm a little psychic, like my mother. Be right back.

[Cell phone vibrating]

Hey, aren't you supposed to be on a date with your boyfriend?

On a date, yes, with my boyfriend, no, because when I accidentally called Liam that, he called me his muse.

Are you making a face?

What? No?

Being a muse can be a good thing, right?

I mean, it's easy to be someone's girlfriend, but how many people can say that they're someone's muse?

Not to be a downer, but throughout history, artists have put their muses on a pedestal.

See?

I love being on a pedestal.

Until they get bored, and then they toss them aside like used gum.

But Liam's art is really important to him.

And the fact that I'm his inspiration, is a beautiful thing.

Maybe you don't understand because you're not an artist?

Maybe.

I should let you get back to your movie.

I'll call you later.

Great. Can't wait.

Hey, watch it, moron!

Sorry, this thing has a mind of its own.

Shrimp girl?

Hey!

Hey.

A little help? I don't want to k*ll someone, it really brings the mood down.

Sorry I snapped at you, low blood sugar makes me hangry.

Is that why you made such a big scene at that mansion party?

Oh, yeah, that was a prank.

I love to punk people.

So you're a DJ too?

Just to fund my love for cater-waitering.

Never give up on your dreams.

You should come up and visit me later when I'm spinning.

Oh, I don't know, I get dizzy easily.

Okay, well, the invitation's out there.

♪ It's like ice melting down my back ♪
♪ It's like your fingers running through my hair ♪
♪ It's like staring at the stars in the desert ♪
♪ Like the smell of rain in the air ♪

Thank God we're inside, the sparks between you two could start a forest fire.

She's cute.

She's so your type.

How can you tell, she hasn't even picked a gender.

And the only type here is sad freak, nobody does neon anymore.

Don't regret inviting her, one bit.

[Cell phone vibrating] Mm... drink up, you're stiffer than an eskimo's nipples.

Calling me during your first date is not a good sign.

Yeah, I think I've ruined everything.

You told Karma you slept with Amy?

What? No, she called me her boyfriend and I called her my... muse.

Yeah, you'll never get through this.

Yeah, well we won't if I can't say the word, gir... gir... gir...

See, it's like my mouth doesn't make those sounds.

B... b... b... because it knows you slept with Karma's best friend.

I slept with lots of girls, but I've never been anyone's boyfriend.

This isn't about Karma, this is about my fear of commitment.

It's not like you're asking her to be your wife.

This is only high school and we're not mormons.

I know, I just want to say it so she knows how much she means to me.

Well keep trying.

Gotta jet.

Wait...

[dance music]

♪ Oh no ♪
♪ uh-huh ♪
♪ The right stuff ♪
♪ First time was a great time second time was a blast ♪
♪ Third time I fell in love now I hope it lasts ♪
♪ I can see it in your walk love it when you talk ♪
♪ See it in everything you do even in your thoughts ♪
♪ You got the right stuff, baby... ♪

A girl band that performs vintage boy band covers, that's pretty cool.

It's pretty [Bleep] loud.

Do you have any Ibuprofen?

Ugh. Let me go ask around.

♪ All that I needed was you ♪
♪ Oh boy, it's so right ♪
♪ All that I wanted was you ♪
♪ you made all my dreams come true ♪

I can still catch Colbert if you wanna ditch me to hang out with that guy.

Him? No. Ew, bad teeth.

Got me a different kind of hook up.

What is that?

Let's just call it a dancing pill.

I am in now promoting you take this, I'm strictly an herbal man myself, but it might help you break out of your rut.

What? What rut, I'm not in a rut.

Yes, you are. It's so big, it's practically Jabba the Rut. And its name is Karma.

Oh you found one, thank God, this headache is k*lling me.

What?

London Lange, art blogger.

I'd love to feature this piece on my site, it's so vibrant and full of... guilt.

Sorry, guilt?

The artist is haunted, forever stalked by his shadow, as if he's being chased by the sins of his past.

Will Karma ever catch him?

Uh, I don't think... that's not really what this piece...

It's brilliant, isn't it?

Did he tell you that I was his inspiration?

And who might this be?

This is Karma, actually, who is my gir... gir... gir... gir... gir... wife.

I mean, I hope, one day, maybe...

Who can say?

Excuse me.

[Dance music]

This is so much fun, and no more headache, though I am really thirsty.

Have I told you how much I love you all?

Many times.

Uh-huh.

She is definitely rollin' with the homies.

Ooh, the DJ beckons.

I don't know. I'm not feeling it.

You're not feeling her? Even I'm a little turned on.

Wait, pearl-clutch! This is about Karma, isn't it.

Okay, now you're the one on dr*gs.

[Cell phone vibrating]

Just admit it, part of you wants to storm in here and grab you and say "I want to be with you and I don't care who knows it."

I have put those feelings behind me.

Okay, if that's the case, then get up in that DJ booth.

You said tonight was about having fun with friends, you're my friend, Lauren's my friend when she's on Ecstasy.

I'm on what?

Come on, Lauren. Unlock the door.

Why do I always get stuck with the closet cases?

How long does this last?

Am I a drug addict now?

What if I get arrested and they take away all of my pageant crowns and I'll never become the second female president?

You two are the worst!

We didn't even give it to you.

Lauren, remember how much fun you were having five minutes ago?

Just choose to go back to that happy place.

Walk into the light, Carol Ann.

[Cell phone vibrating] Let me guess, Karma?

You're never going to be free if you're always there to pick up.

Okay, as if tonight weren't already more confusing than the Lost finale, Liam just called me his wife.

Wait, did you just... did you just say "wife"?

Yeah. Weird, right?

I mean, I was hoping some day, but like, a little further down the road.

Karma, it's too hard for me to hear this.

Okay, can you pause your movie?

No... I mean you can't talk to me about Liam, I said you could, but there's a limit and I've reached it.

And I'm at a super cool underground dance party.

Mazel tov on the wedding.

[Dance music]

Hey.

Can I get your number?

I think we should go out.

What? I can't hear you.

I think we should go out on a... you heard me the first time, didn't you?

I just like messing with you, shrimp girl.

I also sometimes go be Amy.

Reagan.

What is happening to my jaw, I can't stop grinding.

Oh, my God, I'm going to develop a manly jaw.

[Cell phone vibrating]

The very last thing I should be doing right now is talking to you, but I'm not about to let you get away with calling me on a Friday night when you probably thought you could skate by with leaving a voice-mail so you wouldn't actually have to talk to me since all you do is avoid me and you're being super confusing and I can't deal with this right now because my so-called friends drugged me and I'm 95% sure I'm dying.

Wait, what?

I took Ecstasy.

Where are you?

Hey, Bobby.

What's wrong with you?

Huh, that's the million dollar question, isn't it?

I wanted to believe I had this fear of commitment, but it turns out that it's just my guilt which will not go away no matter how hard I try to ignore it.

And every time I try to say "Karma is my girlfriend" my mouth farts out...

Wait...

Wait, I just said it.

You heard that, right?

What's wrong with you?

What?

What? I just told you.

I'm your new art piece, aren't I?

What's wrong with you?

Right.

Liam.

Listen. Maybe I moved too fast.

If you don't want me to be your girl...

No, Karma, I want you to be my gir...

I swear I just said it.

Bobby, tell her I said it.

What's wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

Liam, it's fine.

If you can't say it, then maybe your mouth knows more than your brain wants to admit.

[Applause]

We are not the art!

What is wrong with me?

Yeah, you kinda blew it.

Please give me a chance to put my foot out of my mouth.

Think you may have gotten both feet in there.

And maybe a hand.

Look, I knew you had commitment issues, I just thought that I was the cure.

No, you are.

Well, tell your tongue that.

Look, I wanna say... it to you.

Then why can't you?

Because I'm not a good person.

I've done things, things that... made me think that I can't be your Prince Charming.

If you only knew, you'd...

I'd what?

Punish you?

Look, I've done tons of stupid [Bleep] I'm not proud of either.

But if you really want to make this work...

Oh, of course I do.

I feel lucky every day I'm with you.

I feel like I'm the lucky one.

So let's just agree to be newer and better people, together.

Deal?

Deal.

Yay.

Lauren?

Don't you touch me! Don't...

Okay, wait, that feels amazing, you can touch me.

But you're not forgiven.

You can't kiss me the way you did and then mix signals when I know that you like me. Why can't you admit that you like me?

Fine.

I admit it, I like you.

You do?

Yeah.

I like you a lot.

I've just been taking it slow because...

Your voice is so velvety it's like my ears are floating on the ocean.

Okay. Let's get you home.

[Cell phone vibrating]

[Cell phone ringing]

This must be a butt dial.

Nope, promise, I'm calling from the correct end.

Though I did act like an ass earlier.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I feel terrible, I know it's not fair for me to talk to you about Liam stuff.

And P.S., we are not married if that's what you're wondering.

Guess what.

I kind of met someone.

What? Tell me everything.

Let's start with gender.

Female. Her name is Reagan.

Ooh, I love her all ready. Age?

19, and she's a DJ.

An older woman with rhythm. Sexy.

She is sexy, and funny.