05x03 - The Eagle

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Table for two under McLintock, Mike McLintock.

Uh, yes. The table is ready.

We're clear. Bring in Sparrow.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Listen, can I just reiterate once again how really, really sorry I am?

Wow! Oh, look at this. I guess they like us, huh?

Hi. Wonderful. What were you saying?

How really sorry I am. And I'm not someone who loves to apologize.

Uh-huh, right, but you're loving it now, aren't you?

Oh, loving it. Want another one?

Yeah, I do.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really, really, really sorry.

Now sing it.

The president and Mr. Baird enjoyed a delicious dinner of blue crabs trapped by local fisherman Steve Yerkes and a cheese course including "Basil Hayden" Blue from Jasper Hill, Vermont.

Mike, how is she able to focus on the economy if she's running around with her new boyfriend?

The president has always placed great value on fiscal responsibility.

In fact, as vice president, she was chairman of the Meyer Postal Commission, which reduced post office debt from 65 billion to just over 62 billion.

Okay, Eagle. Well, I'll see you in a few seconds.

Yeah, bye.

All right, we got six more votes this morning.

Whoo!

We're never gonna close that gap.

Well, on the less shitty side, people are really loving you and Charlie Baird.

Even Wall Street's got a boner for you guys.

Really? The market's up?

No, it's flat.

But not down is straight up for us at this point.

Madam President, we have received word that Chinese hackers have now breached the National Security Council servers.

I got a great idea. Why don't we give the Chinese their own log-ins and passwords?

Okay? Save everybody a lot of time.

Ma'am, the FDA is monitoring a salmonella outbreak at a Missouri chicken farm.

Got a few fowl questions.

What?

Also from the comms department, multiple mentions of tomorrow's trip to the Museum of Natural History in New York City with Mr. Charlie Baird.

Huh, not bad. Phone.

Oh, listen to this.

Charlie says O'Brien won't go down on his wife without biscuits and gravy.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, can you show me how to find on Twitter those tweets where people were gushing about me and Charlie?

Oh, yeah. You see this button right here?

Okay, so listen, certification is tomorrow.

I mean, seriously, do we have any reason to think that we're not as f*cked as a Senate page here?

Actually, ma'am... I'm sorry I'm late... I think I may have found something.

The voting data in Nevada is multiple standard deviations outside the means.

Christ, Kent, know your audience.

I think that there is statistical evidence of missing ballots in Nevada.

Where?

I do not know.

How many?

I do not know.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Graydon Carter is begging for a photo spread of you and Charlie Baird in "Vanity Fair."

Hey, Garfield, we're right in the middle of talking about Nevada, okay?

Kent, what can you tell us?

I might be able to pinpoint the vote anomaly if I could break down confounding variables using an intercept model.

What Alan Turing is trying to say is if there are missing votes, he needs time to find them.

Mm-hmm.

Selina: All right, then we have to delay the certification of the recount.

Exactly my thought, ma'am.

I could have the lawyers file an injunction.

Bob, what do you think?

I think it's a weak case.

Let me just take a meeting with Jim Whitman.

And after I'm done d*ck slapping him, he will have agreed to delay certification.

Amy, set it up.

The injunction or the d*ck slapping?

Christ, Amy, the meeting.

All right, gonna have to start chumming the media waters.

I want you to get me on the horn with Ned Mitchell from the "Las Vegas Gazette" and Susan Bailey with the "Reno Star."

Amy, set it up. Sue Bailey, the "Reno Star," everything.

Madam President, who would you say would be your best person to be at that meeting as my number two?

I could.

Richard.

Oh, well.

Okay, listen, I need to talk to Bob privately, so everybody get out, please.

Even...

Yeah-huh.

Bob, I am going crazy here in DC.

I just... I feel trapped like a Saudi housekeeper.

Is there any way I could get to Nevada?

Just let me win the presidency for you and then you can land Air Force One on the Strip and piss in Caesar's fountain if you want.

Oh, come on, please, Bob, I would never stay at Caesar's.

(KNOCKS)

Yes? What?

Ma'am, weekly CIA briefing.

See? Crapistan's calling.

That's what I'm talking about. I'll talk to you later, though.

Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts.

Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom.

Well, then don't use it.

But it's a doc.

A what?

A documentary.

Then say that.

(SIGHS)

Never heard back from you.

Late night?

Sophie told you?

What?

No.

Gross.

You didn't tell me she worked for CBS.

Oh!

Oh, this is too good.

Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS.

She works for CVS.

You sold your d*ck for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup.

Don't worry.

You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest.

I am not having a good year.

Unfortunately, ma'am, the man we captured is not, in fact, Abdullah Saeed.

Do the Israelis know anything about this?

Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks.

Excuse me one second, ma'am.

(CHUCKLES)

So Mike McLintock, tonight for 8:30. Thank you.

Sorry, Kent, Salt and Moon, new restaurant.

Impressive. How did you secure a reservation there?

Well, Sue uses my name for POTUS reservations, so when I call, I get an amazing table.

I'm back on food.

Doctor says the cleanse caused no lasting damage.

(PHONE WHISTLES)

@POTUS is tweeting?

I'm the only one who's supposed to send her tweets.

"Ha, ha, ha, @RealCharlieBaird. Here's one for you now."

The president is tweeting.

She's tweeting?

Sorry, just... I just have to go in.

The president has to...

I can't let you in there, sir, I'm sorry.

Please, Marjorie, please. I have to talk to the president.

Please take a step back.

Look, please.

(PHONE WHISTLES)

Oh, no.

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, ma'am.

Yes?

It turns out our prisoner's name is Abdullah Faeed, a local schoolteacher.

What is he doing?

What is that?

Beats me.

Hi, ma'am. If you hear this, do not tweet.

Please, stop... ma'am?

Mike, what are you doing?

You tweeted.

What?

About O'Brien. It wasn't nice.

I just direct messaged Charlie.

No, it was public. Everybody saw it on Twitter.

No, they didn't.

What did you tweet?

What? It was just some funny joke I was just...

Oh, shi...

I pushed that feather button.

I know, you tweet... that's a tweet.

(LAUGHS)

That's a tweet.

Well, then delete it!

Delete it!

Just delete it!

Delete it!

Hey, hey, hey!

What? Okay.

Not here.

Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it.

But that's not the way I showed you to do...

That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it.

Do you want me to show you again?

I'll tell you what I want you to do.

Nothing, okay?

That's your punishment. Get out.

Okay, I'll just go make some tea.

You better not.

The Swedish prime minister just retweeted your tweets with an LOL.

Well, what the FOL are we supposed to do about this?

I suggest that we disavow the tweets.

Phones are hacked all the time to steal pictures of celebrities' penises and whatnot.

Oh, my God.

Hold that thought, Kent.

Madam President, are you sure you did this?

What do you mean, am I sure?

Well, maybe the White House computers aren't as secure as we think.

Maybe the firewalls have more holes in them than a gold digger's diaphragm.

My God, I hated those things.

Selina: Wait a minute.

There was a breach earlier today.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God, and maybe that breach concerned those tweets.

Maybe it did.

Oh, my God, maybe you had nothing to do with it.

Selina: Oh, my God.

In that case, China would be blamed for your messages going public, maybe.

So is that what I think happened?

That China tweeted this?

Oh, no, ma'am, no. You have no idea what happened.

And neither does Mike, who would be outraged by this.

Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea.

No, you don't, Mike. History has proven that.

Now, let me just run this by Bob and see if he thinks blaming China is a good idea.

This can't leave this room.

Can or can't?

It cannot, Mike.

Not!

Why don't you just tell the truth?

(MOCKING MUMBLING)

I don't sound like that.

That's exactly how you sound.

No, I don't.

Spot-on.

Yeah, it's pretty close.

I don't know where you get that impersonation.

Ma'am, you have to make a decision now.

I mean, can I really blame another country for something they didn't do?

It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish American w*r.

This morning the White House cybersecurity was breached by what the NSA has come to believe was a hack that originated in mainland China.

Mike, Mike, what about the president's tweet about Senator O'Brien?

The president was horrified.

Horrified by this latest violation of cybersecurity.

The president believes cybersecurity is paramount for the United States' future survival.

Kent, any progress on the ballots?

I've eliminated eight counties as potential locales, but there's no way around my doing a district-by-district regression analysis.

Are we paying you by the word here, Kent, or what? Ben?

He needs more time. Ma'am, we got O'Brien on a live feed.

Oh, boy. Well, we knew this was coming. Let's hear it.

I will not dignify the president's petty remarks with a response.

And yet he's responding.

I do, however, want to point out that over 29 million people suffer from various forms of diabetes.

Oh, who cares?

What truly troubles me, however, is President Meyer's timid response to a clear act of aggression.

Did you just see that? Okay?

We're gonna have to do something about China now.

No, you don't, ma'am.

I need to look strong.

If we lose Nevada...

Kent: "Nev-add-a."

...O'Brien is gonna k*ll us in the House over this China thing.

In reality, ma'am, China...

In reality? I know reality, Ben.

You're the one who suggested we all live in the Matrix.

Ma'am, nobody chose to live in the Matrix.

What?

The machines rose up and placed humans in the Matrix so they could use them as a biological power source.

Whose side were you on?

What about targeted sanctions?

That will send a message of real strength, won't it?

Or we could go to the United Nations and have them issue...

Have them what? Have them help us park in front of a fire hydrant?

I mean, come on.

Ma'am, your focus now should be on Nevada.

I'm president, in case you forgot.

I know what I should focus on.

Sorry, ma'am.

Jesus, you're still here?

I don't know why. My only jobs seem to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks.

Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch.

So you want to grab a drink or something?

No, thanks.

Oh, but on your way, would you mind stopping at ABC News and picking up some Advil?

Oh, did I say ABC News? I meant Rite Aid.

Yeah, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, is that I still had sex with your sister, so...

Good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.

You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex.

(RUSTLING)

Dan?

(PENS RATTLING)

Hello?

Oh!

Bob, I didn't know you were still here.

Yeah. When's the meeting?

The Whitman meeting's tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow.

You might want to go to your hotel and get some sleep.

No, I got some more work to do.

You have a good one, Jamie.

Mike: Mike McLintock. I have a reservation.

The McLintock party has already been seated.

No, no, that's impossible 'cause he's Mike McLintock.

Show her your driver's license.

I can't find it.

Again?

Uh, where exactly is the McLintock party?

Right over there.

This is my table.

And this is my fat johnson and you can suck it as long as you promise not to put your dirty gay mustache on it.

What is that, some kind of side effect from your AIDS medication or did you shave it off of Freddie Mercury's corpse?

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy my bay scallop gateau.

You, you're a bald jerk. Pardon me, Mrs. Furlong.

Jesus, you think I married that?

That's Will's wife.

Hi, Mike. It's good to see you.

This is my wife Mary.

The congressman was kind enough to take us out to dinner on our anniversary.

Hello.

I guess Will likes them old.

Why don't you f*ck off back to Burger King?

Happy anniversary.

Hi, Wendy.

We're going. We're going.

Christ, she looks like a Batman villain.

What'd Dopey get you for your anniversary?

O'Brien: And when I'm president, we will defend our digital borders just as diligently as we defend our physical ones.

Yeah, can I get a secure line?

(PHONE CHIMES)

Bradley.

Selina: Bob, oh, God, I hope I'm not waking you.

No, no, I'm always awake.

Great. So this China thing.

They did hack us, but they didn't exactly hack my Twitter account.

Say no more, Madam President.

Oh, God, I knew it.

I knew you would understand, Bob.

It is so nice to finally be talking to a professional here.

This is how I see it, okay? If I'm soft on China, I'm gonna get k*lled in the House.

Your instincts are telling you you should be strong.

Yes, you think my instincts are right?

Does a bear piss in the shower?

You should lead.

I'm the leader.

You caught the fish, now gut the fish.

Gut the fish.

You're wearing the fireman's hat, now put out the fire.

Yes! This is better than phone sex.

Well, I just came.

Forget threatening sanctions.

I should call on Congress directly to levy them.

That's a bold move, Madam President, and one that'll only earn you respect.

Bob, thank you so much.

Well, I'll be around for the next five to six hours if you need anything else.

That is why today I am announcing a set of unilateral sanctions starting with the freezing of all assets associated with the Chinese state-sponsored cyberespionage apparatus.

Thank you.

(CLAMORING)

Well, that seems to have shut O'Brien up, huh?

There's a new stegosaurus.

That's not my problem.

Absolutely, ma'am.

Right. Hey, Amy.

You all set for today's meeting?

Ma'am, have you noticed...

God, please back up your face, Amy, okay?

Back it up.

Have you noticed anything weird about Bob?

He was acting a little off last night.

That's just Bob being Bob.

No, I know what this is about.

Amy, you know that you are very important to the campaign, right?

No, this is not...

No, Amy, listen, you are doing a great job.

A great, great, very good job.

Ben, tell Amy what a great job that she's doing.

One heck of a job, Amy.

If the Eagle told you that the Eagle was acting odd, would you listen to him?

Yeah.

You got to trust the Eagle.

Why? Did he say something to you?

Whitman: Is everybody's cell phone off?

Yeah. Those things cause cancer, you know.

That's what I hear. Good to see you, Bob.

Good to see you.

Been a while, huh?

Yeah, it has indeed.

I think the last time was at your ski cabin with your wife.

I still got the cabin.

(LAUGHS)

So, Bob, neither of us have time to waste with the certification so close.

What's on your mind?

What we have here is a classic thumb in the apple pie situation and Grandma is mad as hell.

She spent all day cooking...

Look, Bob. Bob.

We all know you're as folksy as a butter churn lamp, but let me cut to the chase.

From where I'm sitting, my boy's ahead.

If you're here to beg for more time, take your cup and cane elsewhere.

Hold that thought.

(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Gary: The gown is just gorgeous.

Selina: I know.

Did this come from India?

I don't know. Did you get it?

Just all of this just screams Grace Kelly.

I know.

Charlie is gonna flip.

I don't like my eyes, though.

What?

Yeah, I feel like I've got two diaper bags underneath.

No, no, no, no. I don't think...

Oh, God.

I need my ring.

Okay.

(PHONE RINGS)

Selina: Oh, Bob.

Evening.

Hi, you're getting ready to go to the Whitman meeting, right?

Mm-hmm, there's never been a Whitman's Sampler I couldn't take apart piece by piece and sh*t out, Madam President.

I love to hear that. Okay, you're hanging on to me like a skin tag.

Hey, you know what? Could you go and tell Charlie I'll be just a couple minutes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

Thank you very much.

So listen, I talked to Kent and he really needs as much time as possible, so whatever you could do to buy more time to delay the certifica... Bob?

Bob? Are you all right? Can you hear me?

Is there someone in here?

What?

What is this?

Bob, is Richard there?

Bob, are you okay?

Oh, f*ck. You know what?

I wonder... I think maybe we should delay the meeting.

Oh, not a chance, Mr. President.

I'm locked and loaded.

Madam President.

A lady president? Yeah, maybe in the year 2000.

Bob! Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!

Mr. Baird, Mr. Baird. I'm so sorry.

Excuse me.

I know everybody's waiting, but she just texted and she's running a little bit late.

You sure she just texted or did she tweet the entire world?

(LAUGHS, COUGHS)

It's okay, she's not here.

All right, then let's just sit down.

Wait, you want...

It's fine. It's fine.

She won't care.

I don't know if...

Howard, would you do me a favor and slide over for my pal?

Sure.

I don't know if this is such a good idea.

It's 250 grand. I bought the table. Sit down.

Gary is a key member of the Meyer administration.

So kind. Thank you.

You have a card?

No, just a bag.

Guys, something is deeply wrong with Bob.

What?

I'm talking like blood in the urine wrong.

Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

No, not now, Amy, okay? Just focus on this.

Amy, this is really bad.

Oh, hello, ma'am.

What's bad?

Can I tell Amy and have her tell you?

Jonah, just speak. What is it?

Ma'am, I've been trying to get Mr. Bradley on the phone with Ned Mitchell from the "Las Vegas Gazette."

Right.

Ned Mitchell d*ed in 2006.

And the "Las Vegas Gazette" stopped publishing in 2007.

Oh, my God.

I was able to get in touch with Susan Bailey at the "Reno Star," which is not a newspaper, it's a legal brothel.

But she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could.

Jesus Christ, ma'am. I'm so sorry.

He just seemed like the same old Bob to me.

Ma'am, this morning he told me the Jews cause hurricanes.

He just went into this Whitman meeting, you guys!

What if he takes a sh*t on the table or something?

Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a sh*t whenever he wants, that's a major victory.

All right, Amy, this meeting cannot make it past the School Book Depository.

I'm loading my g*n and heading to the sixth floor.

Well, then, go, go, go! Ben, don't hang up.

I've got to tell you something.

Uh-oh.

Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack.

I think I might have told him.

Well, don't worry, ma'am.

We'll get him on the first flight out of Nevada and we'll shove his ass out somewhere over Oklahoma.

Alzheimer's or no, I image-searched Susan Bailey and she is legit fuckable.

Hi, this is Dan, leave a message.

sh*t! Thing Two.

Honestly, her rates are reasonable.

♪ This is Richard Splett and I'm here to say ♪
♪ You should leave a message for me every day. ♪

Richard, call...

♪ Your name, your number... ♪

Can you go any faster?

Amy, if you had rented me a Sebring, yes.

Just go! Go, go!

This is like that famous scene from the movie "Heat."

You know, with De Niro and Brenneman.

Just thinking about that scene gives me goose bumps.

The f*ck is going on?

Mr. Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr. Bradley will be right back very soon.

You know, I'm just gonna step out, make sure that Bob doesn't need anything.

Be right back.

(DOOR OPENS)

Good evening, everyone. Before we start, I would like to acknowledge the chairman of tonight's dinner and a longtime generous benefactor of this unique institution, Mr. Charles Baird Jr.

Oh!

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you, Steve. I'd like to say dig in, but my date is running late.

(LAUGHTER)

Presidents, right?

Well, hopefully she arrives before we all turn into fossils.

(LAUGHING)

Selina: Why is nobody answering their phones right now?

Hang on, ma'am. I'm gonna try Dan again.

Hey.

Amy: Dan, you're on with the...

Dan, are your ears on mute?

I've called you like 80 times.

You're on with the president.

Dan: Sorry, ma'am.

Whitman made us turn our phones off before Bob walked out of the meeting.

What do you mean? The meeting is over?

Well, no, but that didn't stop the Eagle from flying out onto the street and getting in a cab.

Yeah, turns out he's nuttier than a squirrel's diaper.

Selina: Tell Jonah to shut the f*ck up.

Shut the f*ck up.

Amy: If the meeting's still going on, who's with Whitman?

Richard.

Oh, thank God.

Jonah: Hate to say I told you so.

Shut the f*ck up.

Shut the f*ck up, Jonah.

Mr. Splett, where's Bob Bradley?

Honestly, I was gonna ask you that.

Do you mind if I get a picture with you for my blog "Let's Talk About Splett"?

(CHUCKLES)

Tell the Eagle it was great to see him.

And at 6:00 P.M. tomorrow, every vote in this state will be counted and certified.

Well, not every vote. Funny thing about elections, historically there've always been leftover ballots.

Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or thrown out.

Is that what this is about?

I'm so sorry for...

The missing ballots in Washoe County.

We looked all over for them, came up empty, so best of luck to you.

And if you do happen to find as much as one new vote, we'll see you in court.

Thank you.

Holy bacon double Asperger's.

How did you do that?

I'm sorry, what?

Amy, what are your top five favorite De Niro movies?

And you can't say "Meet the Parents" 'cause that's automatically number one.

Kent, it's Washoe County. Don't ask me how I know.

Selina: Kent, get the Justice Department on this, okay?

You give them your statistical whatever it is to narrow it down.

You mean my data narrative matrices.

Yeah, the datas.

Amy, is there any sign of the Eagle or is he crossing America on a lawn mower?

Ma'am, we really ought to get someone in court right away to file a Hail Mary injunction to extend the deadline, someone who can stall till we find the ballots.

Selina: I already thought about that.

I've got it covered.

Mm-hmm.

So the lady-in-waiting came over to us and she said, "Her Majesty thought perhaps you would like to see her crown."

Imagine a shy kid from Birmingham, Alabama, and the Queen of England...

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

(APPLAUSE)

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Oh, look at that.

That's sort of a grey-blue dress. Isn't that something?

Hi, feeling good in Nevada.

Nifty in Nevada. Hi.

You look fantastic.

Yeah, I need a drink.

Indeed I do. Everybody, please, sit down.

I am so excited to hear all about the...

Stegosaurus, the armored plant eater.

Stegosaurus, the arm... Gary?

Mm-hmm.

I dropped my lipstick somewhere between here and the motorcade.

Okay, I got one right here.

No, go get that one.

Uh-huh.

So what did I miss?

We just heard a lovely story about the Queen of England.

She's a f*cking c**t.

You didn't hear it from me.

No.

We're still searching for the votes, so we need you to stall.

Amy, I respect the sanctity of this courtroom far too much to "stall."

This is a simple and straightforward case.

Although, in many ways, that's what makes it so complicated.

You see...

That's good. Do that.

The court will hear the matter of Meyer v. Nevada, a motion to delay certification.

Before we begin, I would love to define a few key terms.

Vote. What is a vote?

Well, I think that's pretty obvious.

Oh, is it, Your Honor?

In many cultures, the word vote can mean a myriad of things.

It can mean a celebration.

It can mean a dance around a fire.

It can mean a silent nod.

In this room, what does it mean?

Any news on Creaky McGee?

Seriously, we have got to find Bob before...

Look at this. How beautiful you look. And check this out.

No, no. What about the Nevada State Police?

Ma'am, there's nothing.

Oh, never mind. We got him.

What? Where is he?

Here.

Good morning.

Hi, Bob.

(GASPS)

Hey.

Hi.

I am so happy to see you.

What kind of soup do you have today?

Um, what kind of soup is on your mind?

Well, what is today?

Um... it's Thursday.

It's Thursday.

Thursday?

Yup.

Navy bean. So delicious.

Ma'am, you want to... hey, Bob.

Bob Bradley. Nice to meet you, sir.

They found the ballots.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Excuse me, Bob.

Breaking news out of Nevada.

Acting on a tip, US Justice Department deputies found an estimated 10,000 uncounted mail-in ballots from last week's presidential election...

Come on.

...in the house of this man, 54-year-old US postal worker Vance Otlow.

Look at this guy.

Otlow had grown more erratic following post office closures last year by the Meyer Postal Commission.

10,000 ballots!

From a district with an empirically high applied demography value.

I don't know what you're saying, but you keep doing that math stuff, Kent, no matter how much anyone makes fun of you, okay?

Yes, ma'am.

All right, listen. Karen has got to get those ballots admitted, right?

She will or she won't.

Amy, I know the last couple days have not been ideal.

To say the least, ma'am.

I just want you to know that I could not have done it without Richard and I want you to please relay my thanks to him.

I'll get right on that.

(SELINA GROANS)

Uh, ma'am, from our ambassador in China.

As I feared, the Chinese are responding to your thr*at of sanctions.

Can I not have just one minute to enjoy this?

I'll ask the Chinese.

Your Honors, I have just been informed that uncounted ballots have been discovered in Washoe County.

I'd like to move that those be included in the recount.

Objection, the deadline has already passed.

Your Honor, how is counsel defining "deadline" and "passed"?

Your Honor, objection!

The deadline will be extended until we can hear on this matter.

We will reconvene tomorrow at 10:00 A.M.

After today's stunning turn of events in Nevada, the president has asked Bob Bradley, the Eagle, to return to Washington as her new cybersecurity czar, effective immediately.

Also the State Department is reporting the Chinese government announced a series of measures aimed at the US.

New restrictions on American imports into China, freezing of US investment funds in China... a ban on all foreign adoptions by American citizens.

A bunch of other stuff.

Mike! Mike!

Will the president move forward with her sanctions?

I don't know.

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

I have to call my wife.

Bob: I didn't know there was a subbasement.

Nice and cool.

Yeah, it's nice.

A lot of supplies here.

This is mine, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy.

And here we go, Eagle, your new nest.

Now, I don't think my cell phone's gonna work here.

No. Good luck.

Great.

Thanks, buttfucker.

(CLICKS TONGUE)