01x08 - El Valero

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Preacher". Aired: May 2016 to September 2019.*
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"Preacher" follows a West Texas preacher, who is inhabited by a mysterious entity that causes him to develop a highly unusual power.
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01x08 - El Valero

Post by bunniefuu »

announcer: Previously on "Preacher..."

You are in possession of an enormous power.

We need it back.

We could try to draw it out with his soul.

I'm keepin' it.

What?

Tulip O'Hare: You drank blood.

Yeah, it helps me heal.

(painful groans)


I'm never going to be with you, you know that, right?

I'm lookin' for Eugene.

Go to hell, Eugene!

That's a deed of transfer for your church and land as agreed upon.

I'm giving you my father's church?

We made an agreement.

(men shouting)


[Wind whistling]

[Creaking]

Come on, Lucy.

But I don't like it.

I know they're itchy, but we don't want you to get frostbite, now, do we?

Focal TX88... cuts through powder like butter.

That wood core base? That's ash.

Seriously, upgrade, little bro.

So, he didn't want to come, huh?

Uh, no. You know, wild horses couldn't drag him.

That disgusting job is pretty much his other woman.

Okay, everyone. All together. Get in.

Quincannon family photo time!

Cheese!

All: Cheese!

[Camera shutter clicking]

That's gonna look great, guys. One for the photo album.

[Metallic twang]

Man: You sure I ain't blinked that time?

[Grinding, creaking]

Better keep your mitten on, sweetie.

Okay, Grandma.

[Creaking]

[Metallic twang]

[All screaming]

[Rotary telephone dialing]

[Telephone rings]

[Click]

John Custer: Hello?

Quincannon: Preacher, there's been a terrible... s-something terrible.

Y-You need to see it for yourself.

Mr. Quincannon, it's the middle of the night.

What happened?

Just... come... now.


[Receiver clicks, dial ton]

[Knock on door]

John: Mr. Quincannon?

[Knock on door]

Mr. Quincannon?

You in there?

[Door creaks]

Oh, my God. What have you done?

I've been conducting an experiment, and I'm sorry to report the results aren't good.

[Pulsating tone]

What have you done?!

Quincannon: We were lied to.

All along... lies.

Odin, you have experienced a terrible loss.

Your entire family... gone.

Let God help you.

Oh, yeah. Good.

You and God can help me with a question, something that's been consternating me all night.

[Squishing]

Which is my daughter...

[Voice breaking] and which is the cow?

[Breathing shakily]

Exactly.

There is no difference.

It's all meat!

I've looked. There's nothing else.

There's no... spirit.

There's no soul.

There's nothing.

Odin.

You need to let the people know.

You need to stand in that church and you need to... [Breathes heavily] t-to denounce Him.

You need to shout. You need to scream.

You need to spread the word. Okay, Preacher?

You need to denounce Him!

Enough.

John Custer!

Come on.

Denounce Him!

[Choir vocalizing]

[Rumbling]

[Men running]

[g*n cocks]

[Door creaking]

Man: Stop right there, Preacher.

I said stop!

[Muffled yelling, grunting]

Over there!

Got him!

[g*nshots]

[Men groaning]

Great. Looks like we're back to the drawing board.

All right, tell us everything.

What did he say? What... What happened?

He came outta nowhere. Took Norm's bat.

Douggie... he squeezed off a couple sh*ts, but that boy is fast.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

I m...

What happened?

What'd he say?!

He didn't say nothin'. He just kicked our asses.

Where the hell are your weapons?

[Birds chirping]

Come on, God.

Bring him back, and I'll never use it again, okay?

I promise.

All you gotta do is bring him...

[Scratching]

[Scratching continues]

[Grunts]

Come on!

Come on!

That's it. Come on.

Come on!

I got you! I got you! I got you!

[Panting]

[Sighs]

You're back.

Oh, you're back.

You're back.

[Breathing heavily]

[Coughing]

Okay. Come on. L-Let's sit you down.

Let's sit you down.

[Pew creaks]

[Breathing heavily]

You want some water?

_

All right.

Okay. You hold on.

Stay right there.

Your dad, he's been real worried about you...

Oh.

[Slurping]

More?

So, what happened?

I mean... what happened?

How'd you get out?

[Sighs]

You dug out of Hell with your hands?

What's it like?

_ [Clears throat]

[Inhales sharply, gulps]

So you could see other people.

Yeah, right. We can talk about whatever you want.

First, we got to call your dad.

Quincannon: All right, now. Listen up.

Now, the packinghouse is gonna be right over there.

All right. You got your cooling, cutting, deboning.

Feed yards will be right over there.

Now, I came up with an idea for a new kind of cafeteria, serving all sorts of food from all sorts of locales and originations...

Like a... food court, sir?

What the hell's a food court?

Uh, It's like a place that's got all kinds of different restaurants in one.

Well, that's right... a food court.

[Laughter]

Mex, Tex-Mex, Oriental... yours to pick and choose each and every day.

But there ain't gonna be no sushis, chimichangas, or pizza pie... no nothing until you boys march up that hill and drag that preacher out of my church!

[Cheers and applause]

All right, Sheriff.

We'll be right here waiting for you.

[Cellphone beeps]

He's on his way.

[Indistinct shouting in distance]

Before he gets here, I just wanted to say... [Sighs] you were right, Eugene.

You know, what happened with you and Tracy Loach... [Shouting continues] that's for God to judge, not me.

This power I got... of course it's cheating.

People want to choose.

Yep. [Sighs]

You were right about that, too.

[Chuckles]

Man.

I've made a real mess of this.

Huh?

I was told there'd be consequences.

And here they are.

I should probably give it back.

Can't use it, can't be trusted with it.

Hmm.

I figured that much out, at least.

I never told you about the guys at the motel.

No, I didn't.

You're not really here, are you, Eugene?

[Groans]

[Dogs barking]

Man: A lot of them get abandoned. There's strays.

It's sad, really, 'cause, you know, they're good dogs.

Seems like it's harder and harder to find someone to take them in, you know?

And we do our best to save them.

Heck, I take them in myself sometimes.

But really, there's only so much I can do.

Hey, there, guy.

[Dog whimpers]

Hi.

Name's Brewski.

[Dog whining, panting]

I'll take him.

[Hair dryer whirring]

[Knocking on door]

Tommy: Mom!

[Whirring stops]

What is it?

Miles is here.

[Sighs]

[Country music plays on radio]

Miles: Hey. Hold on, partner.

Let's see if this milk is still good, right?

[Sniffs]

Ooh.

What's up?

Oh, hey.

I just, uh, swung by to, you know, to check on you.

I'm fine.

Okay.

I-I know how much the church meant to you.

What about the church?

Well, y-you don't know?

Well, they're tearing it down.

What?!

Preacher, he... he gave it to Mr. Quincannon.

Well, at least, he was supposed to.

He gave it?

Apparently, they, uh, they had a verbal agreement.

You mean the bet?

A verbal agreement.

And it is unorthodox, but it is binding.

I mean, Mr. Quincannon had me look into it, and, well... well, sure enough, I mean, there are municipal statutes that go back to the 1800s, so...

W-W-What are you looking for?

My sneakers.

By the window.

I washed them and set them out to dry.

You washed my sneakers?

You're going to the church.

Yep.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Well, I'm going anyway.

Well, let me drive you...

I can drive a damn car, Miles!

Take the kids to school for me?

You got it.

[Door closes]

So, is the milk still good?

It's fine.

[Engine starts]

It's my damn church.

[Ominous music plays]

[Whooping]

[Crowd whooping, trilling]

[Engine starts, revs]

[Up-tempo music plays]

[g*nsh*t]

Get down!

[g*nshots]

[Man groans]

Not only can Preacher fight, he can shoo...

[Screams]

God damn!

Man: Run!

[g*nshots]

Everybody run! Preacher's crazy!

Go get him, Bill!

[Fluid sloshes]

Food court! Food court! Food court! Food court!

[g*nsh*t]

Quincannon: What the hell are you boys doing?!

[Indistinct talking]

Why are you runnin'?!

What are ya... ya pansies?!

Get back up there!

Those are warning sh*ts!

He's a preacher, for Christ's sakes!

He's not gonna hurt anyone!

Where's Clive?

There he is.

["Battle Hymn of the Republic" plays]

[Crowd cheering, whooping]

[Cheering, whooping stop]

[Birds chirping]

Y-You all right, Clive?

Not really.

Preacher sh*t my d*ck off.

See?

[Crowd groaning, vomiting]

He's an incredible sh*t.

Kinda took it clean off.

It's all right. It doesn't hurt really that much at all.

You know? Not really.

But yeah, I can imagine it's gonna hurt a ton in a little while, but for now, I'm okay. For now, I'm fine.

Good Lord!

d*ck being sh*t off, but...

What the heck's going on?

I'm afraid our preacher's finally lost his mind.

What?

H-He called me, said he had my boy.

Your boy?

You mean with the, uh...

What?

The ass face.

Sunscreen and a sandwich.

Looks like we're gonna be here a while.

Oh, and, uh... call an ambulance for Clive.

He's gonna spook the men.

Aw, look at that little guy, just sort of resting there.

Preacher say anything?

Any idea what he wants?

[Feedback]

Jesse: Bring me the agents!

The Asians?

Anyone know who the hell he's talking about?

I know who.

[Wheels squeaking]

[Knock on door]

Come in.

We can't, remember?

[Echoing] Come in.
[Indistinct conversations]

["Run for Your Life" plays]

♪ If you meet a little girl ♪
♪ and she sets your heart a-whirl ♪
♪ And you begin to feel a little strange ♪
♪ Watch out, boy, you'd better turn the other way ♪
♪ 'Cause your whole life's about to change ♪
♪ You'd better run for your life... ♪

I like this better.

Leave it to the professionals.

Besides, I don't want Eugene getting caught in the crossfire.

Gosh, I tell you.

These last few days...

[Breathes deeply]

Me and Eugene... we've had our challenges, but at the end of the day, I-I-I don't know what I'd do without him.

You'd figure it out.

Ooh.

Is there, uh, mustard?

Ah. I see it.

Thank you, Ms. Oatlash.

How'd it come to this?

Regardless of the state of Custer's mental faculties, taking church land?

With all due respect, that church is holy ground.

No, Sheriff.

That church is nothing more than wood and paint and bits of colored glass.

It's a lie, Sheriff, and I'm gonna tear it down peg by peg.

Grind it into dust.

"Holy ground," my ass.

It was an accident.

Yes.

I should've listened.

That's right.

But I didn't.

Can you help us?

Who's "us"?

Who else knows about this?

N-No... No one. Just me.

I was... I was wondering... Is there any way...

Is it possible to bring someone back from Hell?

No.

Yes.

It's... difficult.

Dangerous.

But it's possible.

But listen.

No one's getting out of Hell till we get what we came for.

[Screams]

Just hang in there, Clive.

You'll be back on your feet in no time.

[Groaning]

Oh! Here's your penis.

[Screaming, groaning]

Have you seen enough?

Jesse's just defending his property.

[Scoffs] Emily.

Bunch of guys showed up, trying to take my home, I'd sh**t at them, too.

I mean [Scoffs] this is crazy!

What Quincannon's doing can't be legal.

It's pretty legal, but sometimes, what's legal uh, isn't as important as what's right.

Let me ask you... how many kids does Tommy have in his class this year?

What?

38.

38 kids in one classroom.

'Cause of the decline in the municipal tax revenue.

And it's getting worse, not better.

By next year, it'll be more than 40, and by the time Alice gets there, who knows if there'll even be a school?

[Inhales sharply]

What Mr. Quincannon's gonna build here... it's gonna change that.

And I'm gonna help him.

Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made for the betterment of the community.

That's the reality.

Jesse Custer's a criminal.

We all suspected it, but today's the proof.

The good preacher up there in his little church?

That's the fantasy.

Fantasy or the reality.

Sooner or later, we... we all have to choose.

By the way, you're out of milk.

[Dog barks]

♪ ...every night ♪
♪ I need you near me ♪
♪ To make things right ♪
♪ Lead me on ♪
♪ Lead me on ♪

[Barks]

You're gonna sing it out of me?

This thing... this power... it chose me.

It chose a lot of people.

And what happened to them?

They exploded.

Why haven't I?

We don't know.

You see, this is my point.

What else don't we know?

We don't know.

This doesn't make sense.

I mean, how did this happen?

D-Don't you have questions?

No!

Lie... down.

No one understands God's plans at first.

I mean, look at the prophets.

In the beginning, they're always in the dark.

Maybe God wants me to have this.

Maybe he wants me here, helping people, doing good. Y...

I just have questions.

Preacher, we have a question for you.

Genesis, the greatest power ever known, and you've had it all this time, right there at the tip of your tongue.

And what good have you done with it?

Fiore: Now lie down.

["Be My Cowboy Tonight" plays ]

[Metal clicks]

[Sizzling]

Look at us! We're tailgating!

You think there's gonna be any more sh**ting?

Oh, I hope so.

Quincannon: All right, enough of this.

All right, listen up!

We're gonna give Jim and Joe Friday just a few more minutes of diplomacy, and then we're going in one last time.

Now, just so everyone understands, this is gonna be a night as*ault over open ground against an expert marksman in an elevated position, so... you know... drink lots of water.

[Murmuring]

Lighten up, boys. I was joking.

[Laughter]

Water ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference.

Now, this time, I want a cordon of men approaching from the north.

Those of y'all with bludgeoning instruments...

I'm talking your, uh, your bats, your hammers, your wrenches, your clubs, billy and otherwise... you're gonna be on the front line.

Now, I don't want you to feel like you're human shields, but... let's not mince words.

You are human, and you're gonna be acting as shields of a sort.

Waves consisting of 15 men each will be interspersed at one-minute intervals, liable to change at my jurisdiction.

Now, the success of our as*ault relies on numerical superiority, so when a man falls grievously wounded, don't stop and offer assurance or assistance.

The more active targets we can offer the preacher, the more likely we are to overwhelm him with our faceless wave of humanity.

Again, to clarify, I don't say "faceless" in a pejorative meaning so much as a practical sense, as it will be night and your faces will be indistinct and immaterial.

[Indistinct conversations]

You know, you got to keep an eye on him.

[Laughter]

When you hear the battle cry, I want y'all to race forward and try real hard not to get your penises sh*t off.

Woman: I didn't know you'd be here.

[g*n cocks]

[g*nsh*t, high-pitched ringing]

[Music box plays]

Deblanc: ♪ Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe ♪
♪ Bringing all the fishermen home ♪
♪ 'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed ♪
♪ As if it could not be ♪
♪ And some folks thought 'twas a dream that he dreamed... ♪

[Music stops]

He's resisting.

No, I'm not.

Preacher, listen.

You're just a speck of dust passing through the glory of Creation.

Give it up.

[Cranking, music resumes]

♪ Of sailing that beautiful sea ♪
♪ But I shall name you the fishermen three ♪
♪ Wynken, Blynken, and Noddddddddddddddddd ♪

[Rumbling]

Get ready.

Okay. One, two...

[Yells]

[Rumbling stops]

[Shriek]

Oh. Good.

[Sighs]

Bad boy!

No.

All right. I'll get the tarp.

You start in on the music box.

Um...

That's it?

That's it.

Now what?

Now we go.

After you get Eugene out of Hell, though, right?

Who's Eugene?

The kid I sent.

The sheriff's son?

Oh, right.

You said it was possible.

We'll look into it. In the meantime, we...

No, no, no, no. That is not good enough.

You have to help me!

We don't have to do anything. We said we'd try.

No, we didn't even say that.

That was the deal.

I give you Genesis back and you help get Eug...

It wasn't yours in the first place.

And we gave you the black beauties!

What kind of angels are you?

I need help.

Eugene needs help.

A kid rotting in Hell over a mistake?

How's that right?

How can that happen?

We told you we don't know.

Then tell me who does!

[Rattling, rumbling]

Oh...

sh*t!

Damn.

Crap.

[Gusting]

[Shriek]

[Clattering]

[Panting]

Well, that settles it, then.

[Trunk hinges latch, wheels squeak]

Jesse: Wait.

No.

The other option, then.

That's right.

No, don't leave.

I-I don't know why that happened.

Please!

Just try again.

Just sing to it and try again.

It's over, Preacher.

No more trying.

[Doors open]

[Breathes heavily]

[Doors close]

Okay.

Let me think. Oh, God.

I'll figure something out. All right.

Eugene?

Eugene!

[Slow music plays]

[g*nf*re]

[Up-tempo music plays]

[g*nf*re continues]

Man: Retreat! Retreat!

Man 2: Get 'em out of there!

That it?!

All right.

[Sighs]

[Door creaks]

[Floorboard creaks]

Put the g*n down, Donnie.

Donnie, don't make me use it.

[Echoing] Put the g*n down!

[Echoing] Put the g*n down!

[Ringing]

What?!

[Normal voice] Donnie, what did you do?

What'd you say, Preacher?!

[Laughs]

What?!

Go on, Donnie.

We both earned it.

W-What?

I said, "Go on," you dumbass piece o' sh...

[Thud]

Travis, Bowie... the rest of them boys defended the Alamo those weeks back in 1836?

Great men.

Great Texans.

Heck, heroes... each and every one of them.

But the thing we forget... what no one ever wants to talk about in the end... they lost.

To add, we must subtract.

Thank you, Donnie.

Never mind.

[Sighs]

I just don't understand what happened.

I told you to serve God, Odin.

I am... devoutly.

What kind of God wants to tear down a church?

The God of Meat, of course.

The God... of Meat?

The God of what's tangible... what's touchable and true.

God of Meat.

[Laughing]

I see.

I see.

[Laughing]

You think that's funny?

No, no.

[Sighs]

It's batshit crazy...

You know what's crazy, Preacher?

What's completely banana balls insane?

Following a God who is silent.

That is crazy.

Hmm.

I agree.

[Paper rustling]

Give me one more Sunday.

Why would I ever do that?

Well, I've been saying I want to bring this town to God.

Haven't been able to.

I failed.

This place is even more messed up since the day I got here.

So, next Sunday...

I'm gonna bring God to the town.

Bring Him right here... to this church.

And he's gonna talk to us, spread the word.

He's gonna speak, and he's gonna answer all our questions, and if we don't like His answers...

I will denounce the bastard then and there.

Who's a good Brewski, huh?

Who's a good Brewski?

You the best Brewski in the world?

Yeah.

Yeah, you are.

That's right... you are.

No doubt about it.

God damn you, Jesse Custer.

[Grumbles]

[Creature growling]

[Creature snarling, Brewski whimpering]

[Thumping]

[Flesh tears]

[Sloshing]

[Indistinct shouting]

♪ Let me ride in your ♪

Woman: Sheriff, where's your boy?

Man: Where's Eugene? Preacher k*ll him?

[Siren whoops]

Jackals.

♪ Let me ride ♪

Save us, Preacher!

We're sinners!

Save us!

[Engine starts]

[Shouting continues, siren whoops]

♪ Won't you take me by the hand ♪
♪ Lead me to the promised land ♪
♪ Let me ride in your big Cadillac ♪
♪ I'm so tired of walkin' 'round ♪
♪ Let me hear your trumpet sound ♪
♪ Let me ride in your big Cadillac ♪
♪ Let me ride in your big Cadillac, Lord Jesus ♪
♪ Let me ride in your big Cadillac ♪

[Alarm blaring]

[Blaring continues]

[Hissing]

[Sighs]
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