02x01 - On the Road

Previously on AMC's "Preacher" You are in possession of an enormous power.

It's called Genesis The singular force that threatened all of creation.

I am a 119-year-old vampire.

I've fallen for yeh, Tulip.

I have a boyfriend.

Where is God?!

God is missing!

We won't need to kill the preacher.

God wants our help, we're helping.

If he doesn't, we're gonna kick his ass.

What are we waiting on?

70 million circumcisions every year That they report!

And that's just in this country.

Think about that.

You know what, Cassidy?

I don't want to.

70 million baby boys' foreskins, right, severed, harvested, piled up, shoveled into bloody warehouses, and you don't want to know what they're using them for.

Who's the "they," Cassidy?

The oligarchs.

It's big business.

Hey, this guy of yours we're gonna go see What's his deal?

Mike's an old family friend.

If we're looking for God, seems like a good place to start.

So, he's like a God detective, right?

Like some kinda spirit tracker, bounty hunter kinda family friend?

He's a religious scholar.

Just reads a lot.


Well that sounds like a fun place to start.

Skin grafts.

Skin grafts.

We know they're putting foreskin in skin grafts.

It was on "The Oprah Winfrey Show.

" And they're putting it into t-the face creams - you all use the girls.

- Hold up.

They do not put foreskins in face creams.

Yes, they do.

It helps bloody collagen - or something like that.

- Cassidy, that is a lie!

You'd feel those itty-bitty foreskins on you.

What you feel is smoother, younger-seeming skin, see?

And that's how they hawk it.

You just got to think about it.

[Lighter clicks]

- You do have nice skin.

- Shut up.

[Man on radio]

Back to 50/50 mix of sunshine with clouds this afternoon.

["Come On Eileen" plays]

This is such a bad song.


Come on, Eileen [Siren wails]

[Tires screech]

[Engine revs]

Poor old Johnny Ray Sounded sad upon the radio Bollocks.

I just lit this.

How fast were you going?

It's cool.

I just pull over and do my Afghan war vet thing.


You could do that.


It's up to you.

We're low on gas.

Don't do it, then.


Loo Ra aye We'll just sing this like our fathers - [Volume increases]

- I love a car chase.

Come on, Eileen

- Oh, I swear

- What he means At this moment You mean everything You in that dress My thoughts I confess Verge on dirty

- Ah, come on, Eileen

- [Tires screech]

[Sirens wailing]

Come on, Eileen Too Ra loo Ra too Ra loo Ra aye And you'll hum this tune forever Come on, Eileen

- Oh, I swear

- What he means At this moment

- [Tires screech]

- You mean everything You in that dress My thoughts I confess Verge on dirty Ah, come on, Eileen It's a good song.


It's all right.


[Engine sputters]

[Music fades]


[Sirens wailing]

[Tires screeching]

You happy now?

Gettin' there.

You're cute.

Wanna go out sometime?

I'd like that.

- [Scoffs]

- [Footsteps approaching]

Officer: Get out of the car!


There's gonna be plan, right?


[Vehicle door closes]

Sergeant: [Gruffly]

All right, freak.

Drop the grass and the umbrella right now.


But I need the umbrella, or otherwise I burst into flames, see?

Drop the umbrella Now!

All right.

Well, all right.

Lemme just get me things.

No, hands!


Let me see your hands!

- Let me see your hands!

- Just relax.

- I'm just gonna grab me sunscreen.

- Let me see!

I just want to grab my sunscree Aah!


Give me your hands!

You b*st*rd!


- Put your hands on the - Be careful.

Be careful.

- Thanks ever so much.

- Yeah, sure thing.

Let's book.

What the hell are you doing?


He said he'd catch fire.








Guess he was telling the truth about needing that umbrella, huh?

[Ominous music plays]

Come on out here, boy.

I want to ask y'all some questions Out here in the sunshine.

No, no, no, no, no.

Do Don't Jesse: [Echoing]


Holster your guns.

What the hell'd you just say?

Shut your mouth!

Step over there.

You Gas up our car.

You Mace your balls.

[Trunk opens]

[Zipper unzips]

[Mace spraying]



You two, hold hands.

[Grunting continues]

And, you Recite "The Yellow Rose of Texas.

" There's a yellow rose of Texas I'm goin' down to see No other soldier knows her, no soldier, only me She cried so when I left her It'd like to have broke her heart And if I ever meet her, we nevermore will part Nah, I don't like that.

- [Normal voice]

Like what?

- That thing of yours That thing that made me kiss you.

- Genesis.

- Whatever.

I don't like it.

You rather we just shoot our way out of this?

Be fair, at least.

- That thing ain't even fun.

- It's kinda fun.

Something that gets in your head like some kinda smoky brain hand - that makes you do things?

- [Grunting]

- Unh-unh.

- "Smoky brain hand"?


Look, my point is, how would you like it?

Get Cassidy and let's go.

one quiet summer night She said, "Oh, do you remember?

" - [Explosion]

- "We parted long ago" [Grunts]

I told her I'd return again and never leave her so Doo-doo-doo doo doo doo doo Doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo doo Doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo - [Explosion]

- Everybody, down!

She's the sweetest little rosebud that Texas Sniper.

We're in the open.





[Gunfire continues]

[Tires squealing]

Keep firing!







[Indistinct shouting]

[Singing indistinctly]

Stay down!


The yellow rose [Singing indistinctly]


God damn it!

[Gunfire continues]



- What kinda gun is that?

- I don't know!

Maybe I'll make him tell me.


[Both grunt]

[Gunfire continues]


Time to go.

I'm not leaving my car.

Where's Cassidy?

I'm not leaving my car, Jesse.

Then you better siphon some gas.


With what?

How 'bout that?

No way.

It's up to you.

I got to find Cassidy.




[Breathing heavily]







- Ready to go?

- Yes, please.


Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Drive, drive, drive, drive!



[Tires screech]



I gotta get the taste out.

[Tires squeal]

[Engine shuts off]

[Car door closes]

My Lord.

What the heck you folks get into out there?

Is that Is that intestine?!

All right, I'm gonna call the cops right now!

There's no cops left!

That son of a bitch shot 'em all!


And we don't want any more trouble, so why don't you just [Echoing]

pretend we weren't here?

Take me Oh Mnh-mnh.



Yes, darling I'm not a guy - Mnh!

- [Sighs]

That used to being Trust me.

Loved [Cap pops]


- But this feeling - [Sighs]



I feel that it's sent from heaven above [Grunts]

But look here, darling Ohh.

Oh, this nonsense of yours [Grunting]

Has got to stop now, right now - So come on, come on, baby - [Cat meows]


Come here, you little beauty.

[Cat yowling]

[Ominous music plays]


[Man on radio]

Still no reports of survivors in the blast that destroyed a small Texas town.

- Authorities are calling the explosion - [Doorbell dings]


Authorities are still searching for answers All right.

I got bottled water, juice, some, uh Yoo-hoo, and hot sauce.

There, I'm dreaming about her Hello?

Cassidy: All right.

I'm ready.

- [Doorbell dings]

- Let's go.


Don't know how I ever lived without her Did you see that back there?

It was like we weren't even there.

- Everyone okay?

- Yeah.

- Sure.

What the hell happened up there?

Was that us or the cops?

Tulip: We didn't do anything.

Why would anybody want to shoot at us?

Have you not been paying attention?

Your boyfriend's got a bloody superpower.

There's all kinds of folks gonna be coming out after that.


" Please.

No offense to our superhero and his superpower, but maybe we just showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

We're in Texas.

They pretty much grow dumbass crazy here.

Well, Padre, what do you think?

We have a job to do.

If I see him again, I'll deal with him.

But for now, we keep going.

Unlucky start is all.

That's what it is.

That's what it is.

It's an unlucky start.

Nothing but smoothish sailing from here on out, partner.

- Hey, Cass?

- What?

Got some cat fur.




[Ominous music plays]


Wh [Chuckles]

Where'd you get to, girl?

[Heavy footsteps approaching]


Uh, he he He wasn't here.


[Breathing heavily]

I'm sorry.

I-I'm so H-He wasn't here.



Your mouth.

Oh, God.



[Spurs jingle]

[Dog barks]

[Engine shuts off]

You guys wait here.

Mike can be I'll be right back.

Oh, yeah.

Getting a real "religious scholar" vibe here.

Maybe he's between schools.


I just want to take a shower.

I keep finding bits of I don't know what in my hair.

[Mid-tempo blues music plays]


[Music stops]


Tulip, I feel bad.

- About what?

- About Jesse.

I don't like keeping secrets from me mate.

I didn't know.

I didn't know you and him were When me and you You know, when we Look, I j-just I say we tell him.

I really I think he would understand.


I'ma try not to exaggerate here, Cassidy, but out of all the stupid things you've ever said, that is the stupidest.

I doubt that's true.

Listen to me, Cassidy.

You want to feel really bad?

Go tell him we had s*x.

See what your mate does then.

'Cause you don't know him like I do.

I know he saved my life more than once, all right?

And I know he tries to do the right thing more than most people do.

Sure, Jesse's got sides to him A good side, a fun side, the boring Bible side But he's got a whole other side, a deep-down side.


We all got sides.

- Me I got tons of 'em.

- [Clattering]

Might be the most many-sided person you ever met.

Would you hush?


What is that?




[Ominous music plays]


Girl: Hello?



I'm I'm here!

Oh, thank God.

Quick, phone.

Give me a phone before he comes back!


My phone!

There's no time!

Give me a phone before he comes Mike: Leave her.

Excuse me?

Who is this?

That's Ashleigh.

Please, I'm begging.


- Please!

- Come on.

You don't hear her as much inside.

None of our business.

Pleasure meeting you, Ashleigh.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my No, please.

Just let me use a phone, please!


So, bathroom's in there if you need.

My, uh, wife used to tidy, but she died.


I can't take much more of this!

Young lady, that's enough!

I have houseguests!

Do I need to call your parents?!

No, Mike.


All right.

Living room.

That's Eddie the dog.

He used to bite, but then he got old.

Can I ask a question that isn't about the dog and the different rooms?

She wants to know about the girl.

Well, parishioners need help with their urges Drugs, s*x, Twitter.

They come to me.

So, someone comes to you for help, and you put them in a cage?

A covered cage.

That's right.

To curb their urges.

Am I the only one who thinks that's, like, psychotic?


I was wondering the exact same thing.

Why not just lock her in a cellar?

You could chain her to the bloody wall or something like that.

A covered cage works best is why.

Now, anyone else I never met before want to tell me how to minister?!

So I know you didn't come all this way to show off my manners.


What, then?

I'm afraid I have some bad news.



Spit it out.

It's about God.

Come on.

There's whiskey.

He's gone?

You sure?

[Insect buzzes]

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

These past few weeks, every time I prayed He didn't answer.

And now I know why.

God's gone.

"Missin'" is what they said.

Most likely walking the Earth.

This angel said?

That you commanded with your power?


That's right.

Meaning what?

Missing where?

Well, you're the scholar.

We're asking you.

You know, when I was a young man, studying in Mesopotamia, I came across a map that claimed to foretell the Almighty's whereabouts if He ever walked the Earth.


Where's that?

I don't know, but it sounds like just the thing, doesn't it?

Are you kids high right now?


Not in a covered-cage kind of a way, we're not.


There's no map.

But something you've read, something in your library?


Nothing in all these books?


You call Heaven on an angel phone to discover God's gone to roam the Earth.

- What book is that exactly?

- All right, all right.

So, something you've seen or heard?

Someone that you talked to?

I said no.

And I've said it about every which way I can think of.


Look, I'm sorry.

I know you had your hopes up.

But that's why there's whiskey.

Ashleigh: Can I just have my phone for five minutes, please?

Just to post something on Instagram!

Just say your prayers like I told you!

No one wants to see photos of a sick girl in a dark cage!

I think you'd be surprised, actually, Mike.

Hush your mouth.

Ashleigh: Can you refill my water dish, then?

Give me a sec!

- [Door closes]

- Cassidy: He seems really nice.


A nice waste of time.


What you got there?

Your parents.

Mike married 'em.

Let's have a look.

John Custer and Christina Luhla Ooh.

Lalang L'Angelle.

She was beautiful.


Is she, uh A long time ago.

There's just the three of them.

Where's the rest of the family?

Mike was pretty much the only family my father had.

And your mom's side The Lalanginuns?



Where were they?


[Ominous music plays]

They weren't invited.

[Door opens]

Mike: Ohh.

That Internet is a soul-killer.

Stay clear of it if you can.

You spending the night?

Is that okay?


Eddie and I will take the couch.

You can have my room.


I'm sorry.

Um thanks for having us and all, but, uh, don't you have, like, a guest room?


I'm sorry.


It's cozy, isn't it?

Now, look I know this is your first night together in quite a while, so I'd imagine you have plans of a romantic nature.

- It's fine.

- No, Jess.

I just I hate to be a third wheel.

- No, you're not.

- No.

Listen, in Ireland, when you're poor, you got your folks They're shagging away right on top of ya like lunatics, practically.

- Hmm.

- Yeah?

The grunting, rocking back and forth, smells [Chuckles]

You learn to sleep through it.

- Right.

- I'm not gonna be an issue.

It's not a problem for me.

- Thanks, Cass.

- All right?

I think we're all tired anyway.




Rumor is I'm a bit of a snorer, so if it gets vexatious, just give me a nudge.


[Exhales deeply]

You expecting someone?

Just the stars.


You ever consider that if the Good Lord's gone missing, maybe He's got a reason?

Yeah, and I want to he it.

Maybe He has a good reason.

Maybe He's in trouble.

Maybe something went wrong.

Maybe He needs help.

Maybe we can help Him.

What if I don't like His reason?

If I find out He's left us here all alone to pick up His mess?

I'm gonna hold that son of a bitch to account.

Don't you blaspheme.

Your daddy heard you talking like that?

"Hold Him to account.

" That right?

You and what army?

I don't need an army.

I have Genesis.

Show me.

Go on.

Otherwise, for all I know, you've just lost your mind.


Break something.

[Glass shatters]


[Normal voice]

Before my daddy died, if you want to talk about my daddy Right before he died, he said big things would be coming for me.

Said it like it was a promise of some future calling.

For the longest time, I didn't know what he meant by that.

For a while, I thought maybe he meant Annville, the church.

This is it.

This is my call.

I'm gonna find Him, Mike whether you help me or not.

What you got there?

I ran into a woman a few weeks back Parishioner of mine.

I had her out in the garage a couple of times.

Booze, pills.

But she'd been sober awhile, or so I thought.

I found her looking pale as a ghost, trembling.

And I asked her, "What's wrong?" And she told me God Himself had just been in.

So I assumed she was back on the bottle.

But now, looking back on it She was pale as a ghost.

That's her card?

It's sort of a dance hall down in Kimble County.


Maybe she can help.

So, I guess we just drive down to Kimble County and ask to talk to this Tammy.

Can't be that easy.

No, son.

I'm sure it won't be.

[Ominous music plays]

[Insect buzzing]

[Water stops]

[Pot clangs]

[Dog barking in distance]

[Barking continues]

[Spurs jingle]

[Barking continues]

[Dog whimpering]

[Door bangs open]

[Spurs jingle]

You broke my door and my dog.

What the hell else do you want?

The Saint: Preacher.

I'm the only preacher here.

There's whiskey.


Where is he?

He cut out for Dodge City first light Join up with Wyatt Earp.

Where is he?


Midnight train.

Where is he?

He's on his way to San Anton to cornhole your mother, the whore.

You know who I am?

You're the, uh Yeah.

I've heard about you.

So, you know I can make you tell me.

And you know that knife that you're holding in your hand won't stop me asking.

No, but it'll stop me from saying.


[Spurs jingle]

[Indistinct conversations]

Tulip: God came here?

Jesse: That's what Mike said.

Cassidy: I think this is just a cover Hide-in-plain-sight kind of thing.

Outside, it's a strip club.

Inside, old chaps wearing robes, smoking bloody pipes and that.

[Slow jazz music playing]

Cassidy: Or, even better, it's just a normal strip club.

All right.

I'm gonna go and have a look 'round, see what I can find out.

I'm gonna look for Tammy.


Man: The town was completely destroyed Hey.

What's going on?

You hadn't heard?

Whole town blew up.

What town?

Come on.

She's in back.

Reported deaths in the high hundreds and rising by the minute.

- [Knock on door]

- Yeah?

They're asking for you.


Not again.

Tell the bishop no more church events Not after what happened last time.

- I don't know what that means.

- What happened last time?

You're not from the diocese?


[Music continues in distance]

Doug, I got hands in room 3.

We're looking for God.


Aren't we all?

Mike told us you might have seen him.

I know a lot of Mikes.

A lot of Mikes that put you in a covered cage?



That Mike.


Yeah, that Mike thinks I'm crazy.

Not after we talked to him.

He thinks that maybe you saw God.


"Saw God"?



Now I think he's crazy.

Tammy, your hands are shaking.

I think maybe you saw God, too.


Well, on account of Mike and that cage that saved my life, I'll tell you this much, but that's it.

You understand?

Close the door.

[Door closes]

God was here.

He came in a couple times a few months ago.

He, uh, sat in the back, kept to Himself.

Asked the band to play "Walk to the Peak.

" Guess it was His favorite.

Other than that, He was a customer.

A customer?


No, I lied.

He was a dancer.

What was He like?

What did God look like?

What was He doing here?

Let me ask you a question, Preacher.

What do you want from Him?

We just have a few questions.


" The arrogance.


God won't answer them.

- He might.

- No, He won't.

He'll turn His head and stare through you like glass.

You'll feel so naked and terrified, you'll sh1t yourself.

But He won't answer your questions.

Customer confidentiality is a priority here at She-She, so help yourself to a fistful of peanuts on the way out, huh?

So, Genesis I can use it on her, right?

Mm, I don't know.

What's not to know?

This is textbook.

She is being a dick, and her hair is stupid, but I think Genesis should be a last-resort kind of thing.



Do you copy?

Come in to my office, please.

We're asking questions.

She's not answering them.

Now she's calling Doug.

Seems pretty last-resort if you ask me.


You're being lazy.

If you want answers, just beat 'em out of her.

I'm not gonna beat her.

She's an old lady.

She ain't that old.

I'll do it if you want.

Doug, I need you in my office.

At least let me ask what God was doing here.

Why do all men come to these dumbass places?

First time is for the girls, and if they come back, it's for one girl in particular.

[Snaps fingers]

He fell in love?

With who?

I told you what I was gonna tell ya.

Now get the hell out of here.

I'm guessing it's the trashy blonde.


Damn it.

Doug, you idiot, quit your fooling around and get in here!

I really want to use it on her.

What are your specific objections?

My specific objections are that it's mind invasion.

I am not down with that.

What if I use it on her and erase her mind after?

That way she'll forget the invasion feeling.


Damn it.

She is really irritating.


So Tammy I'm gonna do something to you.

You ain't doing sh1t!

- Hey.

- If anybody tries to hurt me - Calm down.

- I will stab their eyes out.

- Tammy, please!

- Doug!

Doug, help me!

- Get in here!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Tammy, Tammy, it's fine.

It's fine.

No one's gonna hurt you.

- [Gunshot]

- Aah!






No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Damn it.

I'm sorry, Tammy, but you're gonna need to tell me.

Who was God coming to see here?


Who was God's girl?

God didn't come for the girls, you idiot.

He came for the jazz.

[Normal voice]

The jazz?

I hope you find Him, Preacher.

You will sh1t yourself.


[Music plays in background]

[Exhales sharply]


You're in trouble now.

[Up-tempo jazz music plays]

[Siren wailing in distance]

Man: Look.

Now, for me, I really like the disruption of the Taurus.

- No.

You want to stop something quick?

- Okay, yeah.

- It's a Springfield, okay?

- The Springfield?

Excuse me.

Taptap, center mass, and you're good to go.

Oh, come on.

You're just fooling me.

- I'm not No, no, no, no.

- [Echoing]


[Normal voice]


Tulip: What the hell were you thinking?

You can touch the girls for three seconds, and everybody knows it!

It's industry standard!

There's a three-second rule!

That's for food, Cassidy.

You got a lady shot.

I No.

I didn't shoot anybody.

That was Douglas, not me.


We've been over it.

Let's go to bed.

Padre Hey.

Did we get anything out of her Any leads before she was We learned we're on God's trail.


That's good, isn't it?

Right there on His trail.

That's progress, though, right?

- Right?

- Good night, Cass.

P-P-P-Padre Padre, I'm sorry.

I-I-I won't let you down again, all right?

I'll see you tomorrow.

All right.


[Water running]

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- Hey.

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- You know what I like to do when I've had a bad day it feels like I got nothin' but problems?

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- Ahh, ahh - [Lock clicks]

Ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh, ahh Open it.

You open it.

Ahh Ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh, ahh I have lived my life My life, my, my life Ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh, ahh In a sad world In a sad world But I'm gonna tell you Gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you Ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh, ahh I've found the right girl Right girl Found the right girl She's so gentle and kind Gentle and kind Gentle and kind Gentle and kind And she treats me like a king Like a king Just like a king Don't you know, child?

I said now I'm gonna tell my friends My friends, my, my friends I'm gonna treat her right, she's my queen [Banging]

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Man: is expected to ask to increase spending, but he is operating under strict new rules that limit spending increases.

Those limits were put in place last month when the state passed a 67% state income tax increase.

[Ominous music plays]



I said, "Stop!