01x03 - Goring Oxes: How You Can Survive the w*r on Government Through Five Easy Steps

[bunniefuu]

Previously on BrainDead...

♪ Remember how there was a meteor from outer space? ♪
♪ Brain-eating space bugs roam around ♪
♪ As if they own the place ♪
♪ Red Wheatus is controlled by them ♪
♪ But Gareth, Luke and Laurel aren't yet ♪
♪ Does Laurel like him? Kinda, sort of ♪
♪ Maybe yes, she does ♪
♪ They rocked the Tax Prom ♪
♪ It's the lamest prom that ever was ♪
♪ They scheme against each other ♪
♪ And they end up with some feelings ♪
♪ They regret ♪
♪ Laurel sees two old friends ♪
♪ For a while she pretends ♪
♪ But Abby isn't who she used to be ♪
♪ Something really isn't right ♪
♪ She went crazy overnight ♪
♪ Now she's having Stacie back for tea ♪
♪ Ella calls for Luke's replacement ♪
♪ Scarlett thinks that sex is gross ♪
♪ Gustav starts investigating ♪
♪ When a second head explodes ♪
♪ That's all the time I have ♪
♪ Because this episode's too long. ♪

(birds chirping)

(distant traffic sounds)

Monarch (on TV): A wild presidential primary, government shutdown, leadership change, death of a supreme court justice; it's been a crazy last few months.

And now to help make it all clear, is one-time Bush speechwriter, Norah Moody.

Thanks for being with us, Norah.

Norah, you've been a keen observer...

(cell phone buzzing)

...for many years.

(phone beeps on)

Ella, I thought we weren't talking.

Ella: I thought so, too, and yet, I woke up to a lovely peace offering.

Did you send something to Ella?

Flowers.

The card reading, "Let's not fight."

I'm glad you got them.

You know I hate that we're at each other's throats.

So let's not be.

Makes sense to me.

Look, I have to go on DoubleSpeak in a minute.

How about we talk before the caucus?

Uh, unfortunately, I have a bit of a cold.

I might stay home to recuperate.

Well, tomorrow, then. Get better and we'll talk.

Bye-bye.

(phone beeps off)

You're a genius.

(chuckles)

I was talking to a Mexican friend of mine, Abundio, who sells newspapers at Union Square.

And he was saying that he likes the government shutdown.

Broadbent: Because no one can see that government does anything for them.

Luke: Ask Abundio about health inspectors.

Ask him about the food he eats.

Well, my guess would be he'd have a lot to say... in Spanish.

Broadbent: Frankly, that's the kind of response that I find deeply...

(blowing nose)

Mr. Broadbent, as Senator Wheatus's chief of staff, isn't it your boss's hard line that's keeping the government from opening?

(laughing): Of course not.

If you look back, at the shutdowns of 1981, 1982, and even... uh...

What's up with number two?

Yeah, get him a glass of water.

Keep going, Claudia.

Uh, Senator Healy, you have your own troubles, don't you?

Isn't Ella Pollack challenging you for the whip position?

Uh, no. In fact, I just got off the phone with Ella.

We have great professional respect for each other.

Oh, come on, Claudia.

The Democrats are the ones in disarray.

Look back at the shutdowns of 1983...

Yes, the shutdowns of the '80s

The Democrats had a slim majority.

were nothing like the shutdowns today.

All right, and in...

This is an ideological crusade.

Look, can I finish? The Democrats had...

This is so sad.

This is hostage taking.

When I was working at the White House...

Broadbent: Would you stop yelling?!

...fresh-cut flowers from a wonderful Guatemalan woman.

Red Wheatus's mouthpiece...

And if you subtracted...

(all talking over each other)

And if she were watching this today, she would be saying,

"Dios mio."

Dios mio.

Uh, cut the feed, uh, eight second delay.

Cut it!

(all talking over each other)

(long beep)

(snoring)

(choir singing in foreign language)

(choir continues singing, rhythmic clapping)

(singing continues over speakers)

It's Palm Sunday, the procession is yet to come, but the evening is getting late, and I've been invited to stay.

(knocking on door)

Laurel.

(singing stops)

The FBI agent is here.

The... who, Onofrio?

Yes.

Still with his flag pin.

Hi.

You want to give me another one of your business cards?

Ms. Healy, hello. Uh, this is Agent Blades.

Can we ask you a few questions?

Sure.

Uh, would you like to sit down?

No.

Yes, thank you.

I know you told Agent Onofrio about what happened in the ambulance with Dr. Daudier last Tuesday, but could you repeat it for me?

Sure.

Um, I was holding Dr. Daudier's hand on the way to the hospital.

And he was having trouble thinking.

He said there was something in his ear.

What was in his ear?

He didn't know.

He didn't know or he didn't say?

Get them out!

He didn't say, so my guess is that he didn't know.

Why? What-what happened?

There was another incident.

After Dr. Daudier said there was something in his ear, you claim... his head spontaneously... combusted?

Can't you do anything?

Yes.

What incident?

Blades: And you saw this happen?

I did.

Anthony, what's going on?

There was another spontaneous combustion on a talk show this morning.

What show?

DoubleSpeak.

My brother was on DoubleSpeak.

I know... it wasn't him. It was Red Wheatus's man.

Don't worry.

What?

It happened in a remote studio.

I mean, your brother didn't even see it.

N-n-no. Red Wheatus's man?

If we could get back to Dr. Daudier, ma'am.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I have to... I have to go.

I'll be... I'll be...

(low, indistinct conversations)

Gareth: Laurel.

What's wrong?

Nothing, um...

Weren't you on DoubleSpeak?

Uh, last minute change.

Chief of staff did it.

Why?

I just... I... (sighs)

I thought it was you.

Why, what's wrong?

Did your brother rip the guy a new one?

Hey, wait.

What?

Nothing.

Um, have you been in touch with your chief of staff?

No. Why, do you need to speak with him?

The FBI was in my office, and they said that the staffer who was on Claudia's show this morning... d*ed.

And I thought it was you.

Well, I'm in shock, I mean, that's terrible.

Are you sure?

Jonathan's dead... a stroke.

Mm-hmm.

(cell phone ringing)

(phone beeps on)

Hello.

Luke: Hey. Where are you?

I'm upstairs, why?

I need you to get down to the office... there's some constituents in the waiting room.

Did you hear what happened on DoubleSpeak this morning?

Yeah, with Red's man, it's bizarre.

A stroke.

No.

Laurel: What?

Luke: Yeah, that's what I heard.

I got to go, Laurel.

Hey, Ella?

How are you? I thought you were sick.

I got better.

(whistles) Let's get started.

Let's go.

Thanks, Ella.

You'll have to teach me how to do that, sometime.

(members chuckling)

Just a short update.

The Republicans have overreached with their budget demands and are now hurting their presidential chances.

Yes, the Republicans have overreached, but we are responsible.

Sure, go ahead.

Our compromise put a b*llet in the t*rror1st's g*n.

Uh, the Republicans are not t*rrorists.

Why are you defending them?

Uh...

It's exactly that attitude of appeasement that has encouraged the Republicans.

I'm not appeasing, I'm saying this hyperbolic language hurts us.

(scoffs)

I want to play this smart.

We can't just be the party of "no."

Why can't we be?

Seriously.

Ella.

Why must we always be the party of adults?

(scattered applause)

Let me just say this, I will never, ever compromise my ideals, and that is why you should make me whip.

Can you say the same thing about Senator Healy?

(applause)

(door opens)

Laurel: Hi.

I'm Senator Healy's constituent case worker.

I will be meeting with you one at a time to go over your issues.

Nice saddle.

Okay, let's see.

Uh, Dr. Bobb.

Dr. Bob...

Bobb.

Gustav: Yes.

Here.

So y-your first and last names are "Bob"?

Yes.

Why?

Oh, it's just different.

No, it's the same.

Just like everyone else here, just the same.

So what can the Senator do for you, Dr. Bobb?

You're Laurel Healy.

I am.

And your email is healgirl31@gmail?

It is... did you need to send me something?

(choir singing in foreign language)

(singing stops)

Sorry.

Melanesian Choir?

Yes, you know it?

Not many people listen to it.

I know.

I don't even listen to it, and I listen to everything.

So how can I help you, Dr. Bobb?

Oh, um...

The government's too big, don't you think?

Too big?

Yes, can he make it smaller?

Okay.

Is that it?

Yes, thanks.

(clears throat)

(door opens, closes)

Red: Hey, everyone.

For those of you who haven't heard, Jonathan Broadbent tragically left us this morning.

So Gareth will be my new chief of staff.

That's right, good job.

He's been kicking the Democrats' butts for weeks now.

(phone ringing)

Thank you, sir.

Yeah, it's me.

When?

You're kidding.

(laughing): Good news.

Good news. Uh-huh.

Uh, yeah, no, I'm on it, I'm on it with my staff.

(laughing)

Ella is challenging Luke for whip.

God, how the Democrats love the circular f*ring squad, huh?

So, who do we want?

Which one, Luke or Ella?

Luke, the compromiser.

I heard Ella's going full liberal warrior.

Gareth.

No.

We want Ella.

Red: And why?

Our Republican moderates stay on the reservation if their only option is to go to a liberal extremist.

Red: Right, Luke is the danger here.

No Republican flees to Ella, but they might flee to Luke, so what should my statement be?

I'll write it... we support Ella.

(Red making buzzer sound): Gareth.

Sir.

(reporters clamoring)

Well, it pains me to watch the Democrats turning on each other this way.

I hope they come to their senses and stand with Luke Healy, who is someone I know we can work with.

Damn it.

Senator Pollack, though a lovely woman, is the kind of San Francisco tax-and-spend liberal who, frankly, terrifies us.

They're coming after me.

They want Ella.

What's this?

Scarlett: Cherry blossom season.

I cut a few to cheer up the office.

Oh. Okay, thanks.

Uh, check the votes.

See if we still have our three vote cushion.

So, what are you saying? It's like reverse psychology?

Republicans want something, Democrats automatically don't.

What do you want me to do?

Get rid of these.

It's like a funeral home in here.

Where are you going with those?

I'm taking them outside.

Why?

I cut them for Luke.

He doesn't want them.

You never liked me, did you?

I don't think I have an opinion.

You're outnumbered.

I am?

By who?

Whom.

By the people you are outnumbered by.

Don't turn around.

I said don't turn around.

Dr. Bobb?

No, not Dr. Bobb. Gustav.

I need to know if I can trust you.

You left your e-mail on my Web site.

That was your video of a bug?

Do you have a cell phone?

Yes, why?

Put it in here.

No.

For security reasons.

It's not on.

It doesn't matter.

The NSA can use it to broadcast up to 50 feet.

You're not getting my cell phone.

(sighs)

(whispering): Bugs are eating people's brains.

What?

I said, bugs are eating people's...

How do you know?

Have you heard of the screwworm?

The...

Cochliomyia hominivorax.

It's a bug about this size that feeds on human flesh.

Uh, hominivorax is Latin for "eater of man".

This bug, the screwworm, that's what was on your video?

A subspecies, not one I'm familiar with.

It burrows through the skull, which forces brain tissue out through the ear, which leads to behavioral and personality anomalies.

What anomalies?

People lose portions of their memory and their ability to think.

Memory is the only way to get through to them.

Can it make people more extreme?

If the screwworm eats that portion of the brain, yes.

And the explosions? Why are heads exploding?

(laughs) Well... not many people know about this but bugs fart.

Oh, dear God.

What? I'm not making this up.

Look it up. It can be a buildup of methane in the brain.

Then why are some exploding and not others?

I don't know.

I'm just getting started, I...

Why are those two men sharing a candy bar?

What?

Those two men over there.

One of them took a bite of his candy bar and gave it to the other man.

That something that happens in real life?

Well, it just happened, so...

The FBI compiles long books of rehearsed activities so people will blend in.

That looks like a rehearsed, observed activity.

Okay, can I have my cell phone back now?

I know this sounds crazy... but what do you think Edward Snowden sounded like?

My cell phone, please.

Look.

Here's my card.

Look up what I said and call me.

It's all true.

(muffled): ♪ Oh, I think that you're wild ♪
♪ And so uniquely styled ♪

(elevator bell dings)

♪ You might think it's foolish ♪
♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪
♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ All I want is you ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ Is you... ♪

("You Might Think" by The Cars continues playing)

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

(knocking on door)

Look at this.

A real office with a door and everything.

Hi, Dad.

What are you doing here?

Uh, your brother needs help with Ella.

How's Mom?

Good.

Give her a call when you have the chance.

So... you went to the Tax Prom a few nights ago, I hear.

I did, yeah.

And I hear you went with a Republican staffer?

I did that, too, yes.

And drank and you danced.

Your surveillance is getting better, Dad.

Not surveillance, dear. Friends.

I have a lot of concerned friends.

Well, you can tell your "concerned friends" that this was a favor I was doing for my brother.

You went on a date with Red's chief of staff as a favor?

He's not his chief of staff and it wasn't a date... and yes.

He was just promoted.

Do you know how easily things get misunderstood in this town?

Talk to Luke about it then, Dad. It wasn't my idea.

Actually, no, don't talk to him.

It was my idea.

In fact...

Look, Laurel, I know you hate being told anything but the town has changed; it's toxic now, and socializing across the aisle can be misunderstood.

Hey, it's Laurel.

Just wanted to call to congratulate you on your promotion.

Chief of staff, wow.

Oh, come on, Laurel, there's no one on the phone.

You're just playing.

I'll be right with you, Dad.

Wanted to see if I could take you out to celebrate.

I...

Sure.

If you don't mind going to this wake first.

A wake?

Sounds great.

See you then.

Okay.

Why do you take such pleasure in rebelling against your family?

Because my family takes such pleasure in trying to control me.

Luke: Son of a bitch!

The Healys do have a sad history of womanizing.

Oh, my God, she went there.

It's a different time.

Kennedys would have been crucified today.

We'll have to go after her hard.

Very hard.

Mm, no, no.

Sorry, sis, I need you.

Does she have any nanny problems, parking tickets, uh, r*cist remarks?

Uh, just rumors, no proof.

Why do you need proof?

Just say she kills puppies and call it a day.

Laurel, why don't you take a break?

No, wait.

End of the last session, Ella was crying.

She confided in me. She had to put her dog down just before the recess.

Oh, my God, are you serious?

Just before the recess so she was either going on vacation or back home to...

...raise money.

...raise money.

Right, I mean, either way, it's good.

She hurries to put her dog down so she can go have fun... where?

Paris.

No! (laughs)

(laughing): Yes, she was going to Paris.

(laughing): No. No.

It's like watching two ghouls.

She kills her dog so she won't miss her trip to Paris.

Mm.

You couldn't write that better.

So, we need to leak it.

Where, hmm? Reliable source? Roll Call?

(door opens)

Do you need anything, Senator?

Yes, we need to leak a story.

Who do you know at the Post?

Actually, Luke, do you have a second?

Yeah, just give me a minute.

No, now, please.

As I was walking back from lunch, I saw Scarlett in Ella's office.

Why?

I don't know.

Was she just there or...?

No, she was conferring with Ella.

Is there a reason Scarlett would turn Judas?

Maybe.

Well, you can't fire her now.

(no audio)

I can't let her leak the story. She'll just tell Ella.

Who do you know at Roll Call?

(sighs)

Yes?

Here is what I love about Republicans: They're like the kids on The Brady Bunch.

(audience laughter)

Stacie, hey.

Laurel. How are you?

Good.

Thanks for coming to meet me.

So... you had a story for Roll Call?

I did. Here, got you your usual.

Vodka martini.

Thanks, but I think I'm going a little bit lighter tonight.

Seltzer and lime.

(laughs)

In my entire life, you've never had a seltzer in a bar.

Don't do that.

Don't do what you did with Abby.

What I did...

Stacie, I'm not trying to...

Yes, you are.

You made Abby think it was her problem but it wasn't.

It's your problem.

I already apologized to Abby and...

What are we gonna do when the Republicans take over?

The Republicans are like Gilligan's Island.

Take over what?

Did you know Denmark's child poverty rate is, like, a quarter of America's?

No.

They have guaranteed childcare until a child is 50.

That makes no sense, Stacie.

Gilligan!

(laughs)

(laughter, applause on TV)

You know what I was thinking about yesterday?

College.

Remember college?

Our dorm room.

There are only three g*n deaths every year in Finland. Three.

Remember we had those boys over?

What was the name of that-that boy you dated that first year?

Was it Jim? The poet.

Jim, Jim, Jim something.

He came over that first day.

Guy.

Guy...

Guy Sostatia.

Right.

40% of commuter trips in Copenhagen are by bicycle.

Stacie.

Remember he broke up with you?

And you said it was the worst night of your life and you cried and I hugged you.

You do remember that, don't you?

He broke my heart.

Why are you doing this?

Just want to know you remember.

Why would I want to do that?

Tr*mp could be president.

Yes, but you still have to live, Stacie.

You still have...

Stacie.

I don't like getting emotional...

T-there's... and I don't think it's fair.

No, there's-there's something coming out of your ear.

That's just... uh...

I got my ear pierced and it got infected.

No, no, it's coming from inside your ear.

That's just blood. Ouch.

I need antibiotics.

Did any bugs get near you?

I just got my ear pierced, okay?

I got to go and get it looked at.

Stacie...

I'm your best friend.

We said we'd always be here for each other.

I'm here.

(phone beeps, line ringing)

Hello, it's Laurel.

I want to talk.

♪♪

(indistinct chatter)

Laurel: Thanks for meeting.

What happened?

I saw a friend, and something was leaking from her ear.

Brain matter?

I don't know. She was crying, and for a second there, it seemed like she was herself again.

Until the brains were pushed out?

I don't know.

What?

We're being watched. Don't look.

Two guys texting by the elevators.

How much of this stuff do you make up?

I don't know what you mean.

I have a very sane job.

I have a very sane life.

Makes it hard to believe what you say is true when you mix it in with all this crazy stuff.

You looked up screwworms. It's what I said, isn't it?

It's been eradicated from the United States.

Yes, but global warming is expanding microclimates for bug populations.

Why is everybody listening to the same song?

What?

People are listening to "You Might Think" by The Cars... why?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Don't look at me like I'm the crazy one.

Where are we going?

To see someone who agrees with you.

Who is he?

Laurel: Gustav.

His friend was the person who d*ed in the CAT scan.

Gustav: I did a marijuana study here a few years ago.

It went badly.

Give him a chance.

(sighs)

Okay.

So, this is the first CAT scan.

Before...

Dots.

Yes, the tech said that these kind of image artifacts can happen with normal wear and tear.

Can you enlarge the central left lateral ventricle?

More.

Mm-hmm.

Now, can you push a touch superior and rostrally to the ventricle?

Have you worked with a CAT scan before?

Uh, no, but I read a lot.

May I?

Sure.

(clears his throat)

Take that.

Mm-hmm.

(tapping keys)

What is that?

Do you have a cell phone?

In my locker.

Is that locker more than 50 feet away?

Why?

The NSA can turn on your phone to broadcast anything within 50 feet.

Yes. It is more than 50 feet away.

Are you sure?

Yes, I am sure.

What is that?

A mandible.

Senator?

(whirring loudly)

Senator, sir...

Oh, hey, buddy. What do you need?

Peace of mind.

(chuckles) Oh, can't give you that.

Hmm.

What else?

Grassroots are...

We're at 20% approval, because we haven't made our case to the grassroots.

We're four years away from running.

Yeah, we are, but not the president.

Ah, you think we're hurting Tr*mp?

Yeah, you need to get the American Conservative Union on board, the Conservative Caucus, the Family Research Council, and you're not gonna like this.

I can't wait.

Reopen the government.

Show we can lead.

Why did you come to D.C.?

To get something done.

And what did you want to get done?

Low government.

More incentives for small businesses.

Smart use of taxes.

And have you accomplished any of those things?

No.

Me, neither, and you know why?

Because colleagues keep arguing for patience.

Let's get our ducks in a row first.

Well, you know what?

The ducks are in a friggin' row!

Even if I have to hold a machete to their throats, those ducks are lining the hell up!

You understand?

Yes, sir.

Then help me line the ducks up.

(indistinct chatter)

Those of us who knew Johnny knew that he was good to lobbyists... am I right?

(crowd agreeing)

Yes! No, no, no.

But a lot of you chief of staffs...

No, because she walked out on me.

I didn't have a chance.

Look, I'll get her back, but I'm sure there's another reporter at Roll Call.

Hey, can we get two more?

Okay.

Well, you made it.

I said I would.

May I...?

(chuckles) Bad day?

I don't even know anymore.

You need a reporter to leak to at Roll Call?

You see that reporter over there with the bad cardigan?

That's Howard.

He's a columnist at Roll Call.

Hey, free advice.

(phone buzzes)

Yes, Senator, good evening.

I've changed my mind.

You were right.

We need the grassroots.

I want you to come in tomorrow with five strategies for reaching them.

Uh, definitely, sir. Thank you.

Nah, thank you, boy.

(line beeps)

Uh, could you bring two more of those, too?

Wow, that was easy.

Yeah?

Yeah.

To your first leak.

(both chuckle)

So, what happened? You seem happier.

Uh, my boss called.

Things are good now.

Which means I'm in trouble.

Uh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

We're, uh, both playing with fire here.

So, do you know why I called?

Me?

No. Why?

My dad said we were observed at the Tax Prom.

Doing what?

Drinking and dancing.

Oh, my God.

Do you think we're being... observed here?

I think it's a distinct possibility.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, better give 'em something to talk about.

♪ She'll be invisible ♪
♪ Like you want her... ♪

Like what?

Hmm.

(inhales sharply)

I don't think that's gonna do much.

Hmm.

Take it to the next level?

Which is?

Hmm?

(laughing): Um...

(laughing)

I'm not drunk enough.

No?

No.

Oh.

Well, like a message from God.

♪ You just like her ♪

Mm.

♪ Where she's at ♪

Oh.

♪ And you'll thank her ♪

Hmm.

♪ For the things she bought you ♪

Aah.

(sniffles, sighs)

Hmm.

Hey.

♪ Then you'll go on your way... ♪

(sniffles)

Hey. Take this seriously.

It's hard work.

I know. I'm sorry.

Okay.

♪ And the next day ♪
♪ When you chase the other girl ♪

(laughing)

♪ She'll remember all the things you said ♪
♪ To her... ♪

(clears her throat)

Laurel, wait.

What are you doing?

I'm going home.

That wasn't anything back there, all right? That was joking.

Oh, I know. I-I just need to get back to work.

Look, if we leave it like this, if you leave, then it will mean something, so, stay, and it won't mean anything.

I can't figure out the algebraic psychology of that, so... good night.

Okay.

(sighs)

I showed it to the chief resident.

He still thinks it's an artifact, not a mandible.

Well, they're not gonna believe it until we give 'em a real one.

What are you doing?

Nothing. This line may not be secure.

I'll get in touch with you later.

(quietly): Oh, yeah...

("You Might Think" by The Cars playing)

(tape scraping)

(sighs)

Misty (on TV): Civil w*r among the Democrats continues to heat up as Roll Call reports that Senator Ella Pollack euthanized her dog before taking a luxurious trip to Paris.

(Misty chuckles)

Good job, Laurel.

I just leaked it. I didn't do anything else.

Not since Mitt Romney tied a carrier to the roof of his car

Mitt Romney.

has a politician been so cavalier.

Luke.

Luke: Senator. Sorry.

This is terrible.

(laughing)

Not really.

I knew you were doing it.

Oh, and, uh, watch the news.

What does that mean?

Well, I was prepared for this.

Watch the news.

God. People are getting weird.

Laurel: What does she know?

Nothing. She's bluffing.

(Red laughing boisterously)

What channel?

Red: 45.

Got to love the Democrats.

(laughing): Yeah.

Misty (on TV): Breitbart was the first to break the news. The affair started two years ago when Luke Healy promoted his legislative director, Scarlett Pierce, to chief of staff, (sighs) a decision that certainly raised eyebrows at the time. All this despite the fact that Senator Healy is still married to his first wife

(laughing)

and has a child on the way.

The affair with Senator Healy's chief of staff apparently started

(door closes)

during the summer recess.

Your thoughts, Norah.

Norah: This kind of personal att*ck, going after a politician's private life, it's a political hit job...

No. No, no, no. No.

Please. Please. Wait.

I don't even want to hear it.

It's-it's not want it seems.

I don't want to hear it.

Well, it's not true...

Get out!

What they're saying is not true!

Get out of here! Get out.

You disgust me. You disgust me.

(crying)

Misty: But should it?

I mean, shouldn't one look

You bastard.

at the policies he supports and not the personal behavior?

Norah: Let's be honest.

You bastard.

It's a question of character.

If he does this to the people he loves, how can he be trusted?

♪ You might think it's foolish ♪
♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪
♪ You might think ♪
♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, all I want is you ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪

(thumping)

(song begins again)

♪ ♪

(door opens)

(door closes)

♪ Oh, well, you might think I'm crazy... ♪

(meows)

I hate when women cry.

There's a way to fix that.

Don't give me crap, please, not now.

I just need a moment of peace.

(sighs)

I love Germaine.

She's everything to me.

Look, I-I make mistakes, okay?

And I'm here, working late, and my head gets clogged trying to figure out what concurrent resolution 45-B has to do with a real person.

And I see someone smiling... just the whiff of her shampoo, the way her hair comes down over one eye...

(sighs)

How do you describe in prose something that's poetry?

It's not poetry, it's sleeping around on your wife.

Oh, God.

When did you become this way?

Not everything's about morality.

I mean, are you always immune to this?

No.

Well, then, get in touch with that person.

All right? The human being who understands why something happens, not just that it shouldn't.

(sighs)

So what now?

What's happening in the Senate?

Oh. (scoffs) That's over.

The female senators are lined up against me.

That's why Ella played the womanizing card.

I needed their six votes.

What if I talked to them?

The female senators, what if I talked to them about you?

I couldn't ask you to do that.

Okay, then don't ask me.

Ms. Healy, hello. How are you?

I'm good.

Please come in.

We're all ready to hear from you.

So, first, you talk to the American Conservative Union, then Eagle Forum.

These are the top grassroots organizations needed in order to...

You know how people build a coalition?

Foster communication? Share ideas?

No, no, no.

They compromise.

I don't understand.

That's how they build a big tent, through compromise.

But we're not gonna do that.

We're gonna build our own grassroots, from the ground up.

There aren't 100 different ways to get what we want.

There's only one way.

And what's that?

(chuckles) Our way.

We need a grassroots organization we can create and control.

We'll call it... the One Wayers.

Get on it right away.

Get on what?

Astroturfing.

Be careful.

Yes. Thank you.

I am being careful.

Do you want me to do it?

No.

In fact, I want you to sit there.

Your dad d*ed?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

Your friend?

Yeah.

We can figure this out.

There it is.

Alive or dead?

Dead.

You caught... a Blattella germanica, a cockroach.

That's it?

Yep.

Do you want it back?

(exhales)

That means they're still in my apartment.

What?

The screwworms.

(indistinct chatter)

Thank you.

Laurel: Luke, call me.

It went well. Really well, actually.

I think you may have the votes.

Blades: Ms. Healy, do you mind coming with us?

Why? Uh, what's going on?

We just need a moment, ma'am. Please hand me your phone.

I'd rather not.

Yes, but I insist.

I'm supposed to meet my brother.

Please, ma'am.

♪♪

(door opens)

Hello.

My brother'll be wondering where I am.

If you...

(door closes)

Hello?

I work for Senator Healy.

(door opens)

Please sit down.

You do know my brother's been expecting me for an hour?

What do you know about CHIs?

I don't...

What are CHIs?

Catastrophic head injuries. What can you tell us about them?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You witnessed one CHI in an ambulance, then you called one of our agents about another...

Oscar Foster, who d*ed in a CT scan machine.

So I'm not sure how you can say you know nothing about them.

I didn't know they were called CHIs.

Why did you call Agent Onofrio?

Because he asked me to call if I knew anything.

And what did you know?

Is this how this works... you pull me off the streets and drag me into this anonymous building and start questioning me without a lawyer?

When we told you about John Broadbent dying from a CHI, why did you leave your office?

Thank you.

(door closes)

I'd like to go now.

Did you leave because you were upset about him dying?

I'd like to leave now.

No.

I'm not sure why you're making this contentious, Ms. Healy.

We just have a few questions about CHIs.

Please sit down.

No, thank you.

You were seen talking to an African-American man outside the Library of Congress.

Who was that?

(door opens)

Anthony?

Ms. Healy. Hello.

Please, sit back down.

Blades: Who was the African-American man you talked to outside the Library of Congress?

What do you think?

I don't know.

I think we keep her overnight.

Luke: Where's my sister?

Excuse me?

You're illegally holding my sister.

No, she's a witness.

We're questioning her, that's all.

Oh, well, then she's free to go.

We got a call, Senator.

A t*rror1st group taking credit for these CHIs.

Yeah, what group?

That's... confidential.

I understand.

Well, then make an appointment and ask her your questions.

Seriously?

You want to do this with someone who sits on the appropriations committee?

The people who control your budget?

Laurel?

Thank you.

Hey, it's like when Dad was hauled off for that Abramoff thing.

Yeah. You were pretty great in there, though.

Charging in... "Do you have my sister".

Yeah. It was heroic.

(phone rings)

I can't believe this... he's trying to call me.

Anthony.

What a bastard.

He was the one flirting with you before?

Yeah.

I sure know how to attract the winners, don't I?

Son of a bitch.

He was the one who called me to tell me you were being questioned.

Anthony?

Yes.

Hey, by the way, Ella backed down. Good job.

Yeah, she's not challenging me for whip anymore.

What? Since when?

An hour ago. Your talk worked.

You must have told the story about me carrying you in the snow.

Yup.

I almost cried.

Really.

(chuckles)

I love you, sis.

No one got k*lled today. That's a plus.

♪ You might think it's foolish ♪
♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪

(cat meows)

♪ You might think ♪
♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you ♪

(meows louder)

♪ All I want is you ♪
♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪

(softly): Damn.