02x02 - The Night Lands

Cersei: What are you doing here?

Varys: Your father has named Lord Tyrion to serve as Hand in his stead.

You brought this on yourself.

I've done nothing.

Do you understand we're losing the war?

Does it ever end?

Jorah: Everything ends, even the Red Waste.

( Daenerys speaking Dothraki )

Dolorus Edd: All the other wildlings for 100 leagues have disappeared. Craster's still here.

Any man lays a hand on one of my wives, he loses the hand.

Dolorus Edd: He marries his daughters and they give him more daughters.

What happens to the boys? What does he do with his sons?

Matthos: "My brother Robert left no trueborn heirs, the boy Joffrey being born of incest between Cersei Lannister and her brother Jaime Lannister.

By right of birth and blood,

I do this day lay claim to the Iron Throne of Westeros."

Send copies of that letter to every corner of the realm.

Robb: I'm sending one of your cousins down to King's

Landing with my peace terms.

You think my father's going to negotiate with you?

You don't know him very well.

We won't beat them until you take King's Landing.

And we can't take King's Landing without ships.

My father has ships and men who know how to sail.

Men who fought my father.

I'm his only living son. He'll listen to me.

You don't want Balon Greyjoy for an ally.

I need his ships.

He is not trustworthy.

I heard a disgusting lie about Uncle Jaime and you.

Father had other children.

What are you asking?

Joffrey: How many bastards does he have running around?


( Screaming )

Where is the b*st*rd?

The Night's Watch! Heading north!

( Theme music playing )

♪ Game of Thrones 2x02 ♪ The Night Lands Original Air Date on April 8, 2012 ♪

( Urinating )

( Birds chittering )

( Rustling )

( Urinating stops )

( Men chattering )

( Horse neighs )

Man: Gotta be ready before nightfall.

Man #2: Okay, keep moving.

Man: Put a watch on the Ridge and the tree lines.

Man #3: Boy.

Lovely boy.

What do you want?

A man has a thirst.

A man does not drink for a day and a night.

A boy could make a friend.

I have friends.

( Clangs )

Give us beer before I skin you.

A man does not choose his companions.

These two, they have no courtesy.

A man must ask forgiveness.

You're called Arry?

This man has the honor to be Jaqen H'ghar, once of the free city of ...

Beer, you little sh1t.

Get us beer!

You should have asked nicely.

Aah!

Come closer and I'll shove that stick up your bunghole and f*ck you bloody.

A boy has more courage than sense.

Come here!

Yoren said none of us were to go near those three.

Come here!

They don't scare me.

Hmm? Then you're stupid.

They scare me.

( Horse neighs )

What are Gold Cloaks doing so far from King's Landing?

What are you doing?

They're looking for me.

You in command here?

You're a long way from home.

I asked you a question.

Aye, you did.

You asked without manners and I chose not to answer.

I have a royal warrant for one of these gutter rats you're transporting.

Well, the thing is...

These gutter rats belong to the Night's Watch.

Now, that puts them beyond the reach of Kings and Queens.

Does it?

It's a funny thing ... people worry so much about their throats that they forget about what's down low.

Now I sharpened this blade before breakfast.

I could shave a spider's arse if I wanted to or I could nick this artery in your leg.

And once it's nicked, there's no one around here who knows how to unnick it.

We'll just keep that.

Good steel is always needed on the Wall.

Seems you have a choice ... you can die here at this crossroads a long way from home, or you can go back to your city and tell your Masters you didn't find what you were looking for.

We're looking for a boy named Gendry.

He carries a bull's head helmet.

Anyone turning him over will earn the King's reward.

We'll be back with more men and I'll be taking your head home along with that b*st*rd boy.

( Horse neighs )

( Men murmuring )

( Whistling )

( Distant seagulls screeching )

( Bells pealing )

( Whistling ) ( Distant seagulls

( Shae laughing )

My Lord.

You make me wait a long time, but your friend keeps me company.

We were just speaking of your bravery in the victory against the Stark auxiliary forces.

It was quite a battle.

I heard you suffered a terrible head wound.

The northerners are such fearsome warriors.

And I tell him the story of how we meet.

To find so lovely a creature working in your father's kitchens ... it almost beggars belief.

Strange things do happen.

You should taste her fish pie.

I don't think Lord Varys likes fish pie.

How can you tell?

I can always tell.

Tyrion: Men like Lord Varys and I can't let our disadvantages get the best of us.

We'll make a fisherman of him yet.

I am glad your new friend was able to accompany you to the capital.

Friends are such an important part of life.

Unfortunate that your father didn't want her to come.

But rest easy, My Lord.

I am very good at keeping secrets for my good friends.

Your discretion is legendary... where your friends are concerned.

How unspeakable of me to go on and on when all you want to do is rest.

I will leave you.

Welcome to King's Landing, my dear.

This city is made brighter by your presence.

We have a council meeting, My Lord.

I don't like threats.

Who threatened you?

I'm not Ned Stark.

I understand the way this game is played.

Ned Stark was a man of honor.

And I am not.

Threaten me again and I'll have you thrown into the sea.

You might be disappointed in the results.

Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling.

Come, My Lord.

We shouldn't keep the queen waiting.

Cersei: "From this time until the end of time, we are not part

of your realm, but a free and independent kingdom of the North."

He has more spirit than his father, I'll give him that.

You've perfected the art of tearing up papers.

We can give him his father's bones back at least as a gesture of good faith.

You'll give the Starks our reply, cousin?

I will, Your Grace.

Did you see my brother when you were the Starks' guest?

Alton: I did.

They have not broken his spirit, Your Grace.

If you speak with him, tell him he's not been forgotten.

Alton: I will, Your Grace.

Safe travels, cousin.

You have a deft hand with diplomacy.

If that's everything...

A ... a raven flew in this morning from Castle Black.

Trouble with the wildlings.

That's why they're called "wildlings."

Somewhat less wild these days.

Seems they've stopped killing each other and started following this King-Beyond-the-Wall.

Another king? How many is that now, five?

( Laughs ) I've lost count.

The Lord Commander asks that we send more men to man the Wall.

Perhaps he's forgotten we're fighting a war.

We have no men to spare.

"The cold winds are rising and the dead rise with them."

The northerners are a superstitious people.

According to the Commander, one of these dead men attacked him in his chambers.

Mormont doesn't lie.

Varys: How do you kill a dead man?

Apparently you burn him.

One trip to the Wall and you come back believing in grumpkins and snarks.

I don't know what I believe, but here's a fact for you ... the Night's Watch is the only thing that separates us from what lies beyond the Wall.

I have every confidence that the brave men of the Night's Watch will protect us all.

Dolorous Edd: And I said,

"if the Gods wanted us to have dignity, they wouldn't make us fart when we died."

Grenn: We fart when we die?

Dolorous Edd: My blessed mother ...

I was holding her hand when she left this world.

She farted so hard, the whole bed shook.

( Blowing raspberry )

Seems a bit greedy for one man to have so many wives.

Wouldn't two or three be enough for him?

We were having a serious discussion.

Would you look at that?

Nothing like the sight of a woman walking away.

I prefer watching them come towards me.

I'm sure that's nice, too.

Yeah, well, there was a milkmaid named Violet on the next farm over from where I grew up.

We were wrestling together from the time we were six years old.

And then we got older and the wrestling, uh...

Changed.

Sam: You were with her?

How many times?

Well, as many times as I could.

I wish I grew up on a farm.

We need more potatoes.

Get another sack from the sledge.

Get the turnips, too.

( Dog barking )

( Woman screams )

No. Ghost, no.

No!

Ghost, away. Shoo, shoo!

You all right?

Did he frighten you?

You ... you shouldn't touch me.

Oh. Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt.

You're very brave.

What are you doing?

This is Gilly.

She's one of Craster's... daughters.

Hello, Gilly. What are you doing?

Sam said you could help.

I'm sorry, but Sam knows we're not supposed ...

She's pregnant.

Have to take her with us when we leave.

What?

What would that ...

Sam: I know it sounds a bit mad.

No, it doesn't sound a bit mad, it's impossible.

The Lord Commander ordered us to ...

We are sworn to protect.

Sam, we can't take ... please, ser, please.

I can still run if I have to.

It's just not possible.

I'm going to have a baby.

If it's a boy...

If it's a boy, what?

You want us to risk our lives for you and you won't even tell us why?

Why'd you do that?

Do what? Ask her a question?

You were cruel.

Cruel?

Sam, are you in such a hurry to lose a hand?

I didn't touch her.

No, you just want to steal her.

What do you think Craster cuts off for that?

I can't steal her.

She's a person, not a goat.

We're heading deeper and deeper into wildling territory.

We can't take a girl with us. Mormont wouldn't have it.

And even if he would, what would we do with her?

Who's going to deliver a baby, you?

I could try.

What? I've read about it.

A bit.

I'm sorry, Sam.

We can't help her.

( Sighs )

( Insects chittering,

buzzing )

( Sighs )

( Hoofbeats approaching )

Khaleesi.

( Horse neighs )

( Breathing heavily )

( Flies buzzing )

You don't need to see this.

He is blood of my blood.

Who did this?

Khal Pono, perhaps.

Khal Jhaqo.

They don't like the idea of a woman leading a Khalasar.

They will like it far less when I am done with them.

( Weeping )

( Speaking Dothraki )

( Sobbing )

( Irri wailing )

( Seagulls screeching )

Is it as you remember, My Lord?

It looks smaller.

Everything looks bigger when you're a child.

I remember my father's cabin felt like a palace when I was little.

Now look at it.

( Giggles )

They'll be waiting for me on the docks.

Who will?

Anyone who matters.

This is a big day for them.

They haven't had much to get excited about since I left.

It's a hard place, the Iron Islands.

Always has been.

It's cold and it's wet.

Oh, I love the cold and wet.

They say hard places breed hard men.

And hard men rule the world.

Then you'll be king before long.

Try smiling with your lips closed.

Better.

My father doesn't trust you Iron islanders.

I don't blame him.

He says that you're all reavers and rapers and that no matter how many women you have, you'll never be sat ... uh!

( Grunts )

Quit talking about your father.

( Moans )

But he's right about us.

Our wives from the Iron Islands, they're for breeding.

That's not enough for us.

That's why we take salt wives ... the women we capture.

Capture me.

Take me with you when you go ashore.

Make me your salt wife.

Your place is on this ship.

Not after you leave.

Father will punish me.

He'll call me a whore.

I haven't paid you.

( Both grunting )

( Moaning ) Oh, yeah.

( Jewelry jangling )

( Door opens )

Man: I paid good money...

( Door slams )

( Man grumbling )

I'm not going to stand for this.

( Woman crying )

I barely touched her.

Now, you charge twice as much as every other brothel and this is what I get ... crying.

One moment, my friend. A moment.

( Snaps fingers )

Please accept my sincerest apologies.

Aremca will take good care of you.

( Crying continues )

I'm sorry, My Lord.

Shh, shh.

Did he hurt you?

No, My Lord.

( Sniffles ) It's Mhaegen.

Who?

She works for you.

She's the one ... the Gold Cloaks, they killed her baby.

Ah, yes.

That was... poorly handled.

Sometimes those with the most power have the least grace.

I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't sleep.

That poor little baby.

You know, you remind me of another girl, a lovely thing I once acquired from a Lysene pleasure house ... beautiful, like yourself, and intelligent, like yourself.

But she wasn't happy.

She cried often.

I asked her why, but we didn't have the kind of rapport that you and I have.

Yes, it was quite sad.

Girls from the Lysene pleasure houses are expensive, extremely expensive.

And this one wasn't making me any money.

I hate bad investments.

Really, I ... I do.

They haunt me.

I had no idea how to make her happy, no idea how to mitigate my losses.

A very wealthy patron, he offered me a tremendous amount of money to let him transform this lovely, sad girl.

To use her in ways that...

Would never occur to most men.

And you know what occurs to most men.

I would not say he succeeded in making her happy, but my losses were definitely mitigated.

Take tonight off to mourn Mhaegen's child.

I'll see you tomorrow.

And you'll be happy?

That makes me happy.

( Distant hoofbeats )

( People chattering )

( Crying )

Tyrion:

More wine?

Janos: Damn it, boy!

Apologies, My Lord.

Leave us, Podrick. I believe we know how to pour our own wine.

That's your new squire?

I could've found you a proper lad.

Myself, I prefer the improper ones.

Mm, that's a good red. Dornish?

You know your wines, My Lord.

That I do.

( Sighs ) A fine dinner, My Lord.

Call me Tyrion, please.

I'm sure you're getting used to fine dinners, now that you're a lord.

Maybe I'll hire this cook of yours.

Wars have been started for less.

( Both laugh )

I heard there was some trouble in Littlefinger's brothel the other night.

Mm, nasty business.

Had to be done.

Yes, of course.

The City Watch must keep the peace, only I hadn't realized peace depended on killing babies.

Orders are orders.

Quite right.

Especially the queen's orders.

I never said they were the queen's orders.

No, but who else would want to murder King Robert's bastards?

She's always been a jealous woman.

You know your sister better than I do.

You've heard the awful rumors about my brother and sister?

I don't listen to filth.

That's good of you, but you have heard them.

I suppose people who do believe that filth consider Robert's bastards to be better claimants to the throne than Cersei's children.

Joffrey is my king. The rest doesn't interest me.

I appreciate your loyalty.

Tell me, when your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?

I did.

And I would again.

The man was a traitor.

He tried to buy my loyalty.

The fool.

He had no idea you were already bought.

Are you drunk?

I'll not have my honor questioned by an Imp!

I'm not questioning Your Honor, Lord Janos.

I'm denying its existence.

If you think I'll stand here and take this from you, dwarf ...

Dwarf? Mm, you should have stopped at Imp.

And, yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you'd like to take it from my friend here.

I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war.

And seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you lurking about.

What are you t ... my friends at court will not allow this!

The queen herself has granted ...

The queen regent.

And you're a fool to believe she is your friend.

We shall hear what Joffrey has to say about this.

No, we shan't.

( Footsteps approach )

( Doors open )

There's a ship leaving for Eastwatch-by-the-Sea tonight.

From there I'm afraid it's rather a long walk to Castle Black.

I hope you enjoy the Wall.

I found it surprisingly beautiful...

In a brutal, horribly uncomfortable sort of way.

The lads will escort you.

The streets aren't safe at night, My Lord.

These men are under my command!

I command you to arrest this cutthroat.

His name is Bronn and he is the new commander of the City Watch.

Boys.

( Janos grunting ) I have friends at court, powerful friends!

The king himself made me a lord!

To the new Commander.

If I told you to murder an infant girl, say, still at her mother's breast, would you do it without question?

Without question? No.

I'd ask, "how much?"

( Chatter )

( Horse neighs )

If they come back, I say we yield.

Gendry's the one they want.

Don't want to get caught in the middle of a battle.

I ain't afraid of no battles.

If you got within a mile of a battle, you'd fill your pants.

I've seen lots of battles.

I saw ...

Liar.

I saw a man kill another man just outside a tavern in Flea Bottom.

Stabbed him right in the neck.

Two men fighting isn't a battle.

They had armor on.

So?

So, if they've got armor on, it's a battle.

No, it isn't.

What does a dyer's apprentice know about battles anyway?

Gendry's an armorer's apprentice.

Hot pie, tell Gendry what makes a fight into a battle.

It's, um, when they've got armor on.

Gendry: Who told you that?

A knight.

How'd you know he was a knight?

Well, it was 'cause he got armor on.

You don't have to be a knight to have armor.

Any idiot can buy armor.

Hot pie: How do you know?

'Cause I sold armor.

What do the Gold Cloaks want with you?

No idea.

You're a liar.

You know, you shouldn't insult people that are bigger than you.

Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone.

I don't care what any of them want.

No good's ever come of their questions.

No good's ever come?

Who asked questions before?

How can someone so small be such a huge pain in my ass?

Who asked questions?

The Hand of the King.

Hands of the King.

Lord Arryn came first a few weeks before he died, and then Lord Stark came a few weeks before he died.

Lord Stark?

See? Asking me questions is bad luck.

You'll probably be dead soon.

What did they ask about?

My mom.

Who's your mom?

Just my mom ... worked in a tavern, died when I was little.

And who was your father?

Could've been one of those gold-hatted bastards, for all I know.

What about you anyway?

You thought they were after you.

Why?

Did you kill someone or is it just because you're a girl?

I'm not a girl.

Yes, you are.

Do you think I'm as stupid as the rest of them?

Stupider.

The Night's Watch doesn't take girls, everyone knows that.

Yeah, that's true, but you're still a girl.

I am not!

Yeah? Well, pull your cock out and take a piss, then.

I don't need to take a piss.

Lommy and hot pie can't know.

No one can know.

Well, they won't, not from me.

My name's not Arry.

It's Arya... of House Stark.

Yoren is taking me home to Winterfell.

He was your father ... the Hand, the traitor.

He was never a traitor.

Joffrey is a liar.

So you're a highborn, then. You're a lady.

No. I mean, yes.

My mother was a lady and my sister ...

Yeah, but you were a lord's daughter and you lived in a castle and you ... look, all that about cocks, I should never have said ... and I've been pissing in front of you and everything.

I ... I should be calling you "My Lady."

Do not call me "My Lady."

As My Lady commands.

Well, that was unladylike.

Oh!

( Laughs )

( Seagulls screeching )

( Chatter )

( Hammers banging )

What's she carrying?

Myrish oranges, wine from the Arbor...

And the heir to Pyke and the Iron Islands.

The only living son of Balon Greyjoy.

Me.

I don't like wine.

Woman's drink.

I need to get to Pyke.

I'll find you a horse.

I'm heading that way. I can take you there.

I bet you can.

Have you been at sea long?

Or were there just no women where you came from?

None like you.

You don't know what I'm like.

Maybe you don't know what you're like.

Maybe you need someone to teach you.

Do you know who I am?

You think I offer free rides to every man in jewelry, Lord Greyjoy?

Have my things sent up to the castle.

You should give me the reins.

I'm a better rider than you.

I've been on horseback for the past nine years.

Nine years?

Do you still know your way around a ship?

Have these hands ever touched a rope?

Don't you worry about my hands.

The sea is in my blood.

Your blood will be in the sea if I don't watch where I'm going.

I have a proposal for my father, one that will make him king again, and me after him.

You may get to stay in a castle tonight if you're lucky.

Is that an offer from my future king?

An order from your future king.

You can tell your grandchildren about this night.

Woman: I don't imagine it will be a story fit for children.

( Footsteps approaching )

Theon: Father.

Nine years, is it?

They took a frightened boy.

What have they given back?

A man.

Your blood and your heir.

We shall see.

Stark had you longer than I did.

Lord Stark is gone.

And how do you feel about that?

What's done is done.

I've brought you a proposal from Robb Stark.

Who gave you those clothes?

Was it Ned Stark's pleasure to make you his daughter?

If my clothes offend you, I will change them.

You will.

That bauble

'round your neck ... did you pay the iron price for it or the gold?

I asked a question.

Did you pull it from the neck of a corpse you made or did you buy it to match your fine clothes?

Iron or gold?

Gold.

I'll not have my son dressed as a whore.

( Necklace clinks )

My fears have come true ... the Starks have made you theirs.

My blood is salt and iron.

Yet the Stark boy sends you to me like a trained raven clutching his message.

The offer he makes is one I proposed.

He heeds your counsel?

I've lived with him, hunted with him, fought at his side.

He thinks of me as a brother.

No, not here, not in my hearing.

You will not name him brother, this son of the man who put your true brothers to the sword.

Or have you forgotten your own blood?

I forget nothing.

I remember my brothers.

And I remember when my father was a king.

I see.

I destroy Robb Stark's enemies for him and he will make me king of the Iron Islands once again.

I will lead the attack myself.

Oh, you will?

I'm your son, your only living heir.

Who else?

( Door opens )

I told you to wait outside.

How did you get past the guards?

Anything with a cock is easy to fool.

My dear.

Yara?

So good to see you, brother.

This is a homecoming I'll tell my grandchildren about.

She can't lead an attack!

Balon: And why not?

You're a woman!

You're the one in skirts.

This isn't Winterfell, boy.

Your sister took over command of your eldest brother's ship after your new father killed him.

All: What's dead may never die.

The only nights she's spent off these islands have been spent on the sea.

She's commanded men.

She's killed men.

She knows who she is.

No man gives me a crown.

I pay the iron price.

I will take my crown, for that is who I am.

That is who we have always been.

You won't stand a chance against the Lannisters on your own.

Who said anything about the Lannisters?

Davos: You'll have your gold when we take the treasury at King's Landing.

Salladhor: All these kings fighting for the throne, and this Stannis has the smallest army.

Why would I bet on the man with the worst chance?

Because you're a smart gambler.

Stannis has proved himself in war twice.

His baby brother has never set foot on a battlefield.

Neither has the false King Joffrey.

And yet they both have larger armies.

Stannis has just begun the fight.

His Bannermen will rally to his cause.

There's no man in the Seven Kingdoms more honorable than Stannis Baratheon or more worthy of loyalty.

What is the world coming to when smugglers must vouch for the honor of kings?

Mind your words, pirate.

Matthos.

You think I'm insulted?

I am a pirate. I'm an excellent pirate.

I don't sail for promises.

Of course you do.

Every time you leave harbor, you're leaving on a promise ... a promise that somewhere on the sea, somebody's got some gold and you can take it from him.

That's a promise that always comes true.

As is mine.

You're not a young man, Salladhor.

And correct me if I'm wrong ... most pirates don't grow old.

Only the clever ones.

You want to spend your last few years on the sea stealing from Pentoshi cheesemongers and Meereenese silk merchants?

Then go. They're out there waiting for you.

That's easy.

What I'm offering you is hard.

Come with me and plunder the greatest city in Westeros.

You'll be the richest man in Lys and the most famous.

They'll be singing songs about you as long as men have voices to sing.

"Salladhor Saan" is a good name for songs.

It is.

One thing ... I want the queen.

The queen?

Cersei ... I want her.

I'll sail with your fleet, all 30 of my ships.

And if we don't drown at the bottom of Blackwater Bay, I will f*ck this blonde queen and I'll f*ck her well.

This war isn't about you.

We're not attacking King's Landing so that you can rape the queen.

I'm not going to rape her. I'm going to f*ck her.

As if she would just let you.

You don't know how persuasive I am.

I've never tried to f*ck you.

Stannis is the rightful king and the Lord of Light, the one true God ...

( Groans )

I've been all over the world, my boy, and everywhere I go, people tell me about the true Gods.

They all think they found the right one.

The one true God is what's between a woman's legs, and better yet, a queen's legs.

I never thought you'd have a true believer for a son.

Eh, he's young yet.

I promise you the gold. I promise you the glory.

I cannot promise you the queen.

You believe your king can win?

He is the one true king.

You Westerosi are funny people.

A man chops off your fingers and you fall in love with him.

( Laughs )

I'll sail with you, Davos Seaworth.

You're the most honest smuggler I ever met.

Make me rich.

Get me to the gates of King's Landing and I will.

Matthos: When will the king have us sail?

As soon as his God wills it.

He's my God, too, and yours, but you are too blind to see.

Let me teach you how to read.

Oh, you and your mother.

It won't take long. You already know the letters.

The holy books are much more persuasive than I can be.

I wish I had a God, truly.

I'm not mocking you, but I've seen men pray to every God there is ... pray for wind, pray for rain, pray for home.

None of it works.

But you always came home.

I wasn't praying.

No, but I was.

Every night that you were at sea, I lit a candle and I prayed for you.

You want me to have a God?

Fine. King Stannis is my God.

He raised me up and blessed me with his trust.

He gave you a future I could never have imagined.

You know how to read. You'll be a knight someday.

You think a fire God commanded all that?

It was Stannis, only Stannis.

Stannis is my king, but he's only a man.

Don't tell him that.

( Laughs )

Cersei: Lord Janos Slynt was commander of the City Watch.

You had no right to exile him.

I have every right. I am the King's Hand.

You're serving as the King's Hand till father gets here.

I am Queen Regent.

Listen to me, Queen Regent.

You're losing the people.

Do you hear me?

( Laughs ) The people.

You think I care?

You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead.

Half the city will starve when winter comes.

The other half will plot to overthrow you.

And your gold-plated thugs

just gave them their rallying cry ...

"The Queen slaughters babies."

You don't even have the decency to deny it.

It wasn't you who gave the order, was it?

Joffrey didn't even tell you.

Did he tell you?

I imagine that would be even worse.

He did what needed to be done.

You want to be Hand of the King? You want to rule?

This is what ruling is ... lying on a bed of weeds, ripping them out by the root, one by one, before they strangle you in your sleep.

I'm no king, but I think there's more to ruling than that.

I don't care what you think!

You've never taken it seriously.

You haven't, Jaime hasn't.

It's all fallen on me.

As has Jaime repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon.

You're funny.

You've always been funny...

But none of your jokes will ever match the first one, will they?

You remember?

Back when you ripped my mother open on your way out of her and she bled to death?

She was my mother, too.

Mother gone...

For the sake of you.

There's no bigger joke in the world than that.

( Waves crashing,

seagulls screeching )

( Door opens )

Your Grace.

Your Grace.

Stannis: How did you fare with your pirate?

Salladhor Saan will join our fleet ... 30 ships.

His men know how to fight.

In my experience, pirates prefer fighting unarmed men.

It does seem the wiser choice.

There won't be a choice this time.

Do you trust him?

Salladhor Saan is an old friend.

I've known him 30 years.

I've never trusted him, but once he gets the smell of gold, he never stops.

Well, if he does his job, he'll have his share.

Leave us.

At once, Your Grace.

The Lord of Light shines through you, young warrior.

( Whispering )

Come.

( Doors close )

What did you say to him?

I told him death by fire is the purest death.

Why?

Because it is true.

You're troubled, my king.

Yeah.

These armies are toys for the Lord of Light.

Tell your lord to burn them, then.

I tell him nothing.

I pray for his commands and I obey.

My little brother has 100,000 men according to the scouts, men whose allegiance rightly belongs to me.

You must have faith.

Faith?

In a real war, the side with the greater number wins nine times out of 10.

Then we must be the 10th.

I cannot defeat my brother in the field.

And I can't take King's Landing without the men he's stolen.

I have seen the path to victory in the flames.

But first, you must give yourself to the Lord of Light.

I've said the words, damn you.

I burnt the idols.

You must give all of yourself.

I have a wife.

I took a vow.

She's sickly, weak...

Shut away in a tower.

She disgusts you.

And she's given you nothing ... no sons, only stillborns, only death.

I will give you a son, my king.

A son?

( Gasps )

( Grunting )

( Wind howling )

( Footsteps )

( Baby cooing )

( Bird warbling )

( Bird screeching, wings flapping )

( Crow caws )

( Scraping, jangling )

( Rustling )

( Wood scraping )

( Twigs snapping )

( Snarls )

( Gasps )

( Clicking )

( Baby crying )

( Creature chittering )

( Creature snarling )

( Baby continues crying )

( Crying )

( Guttural clicking )

( Gasps )

( Theme music playing )