01x02 - Day Kids

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Four in the Morning". Aired August 26, 2016 to October 2016.*
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"Four in the Morning" follows four friends in their twenties as they regularly get together at the unpredictable, emotional, but illuminative hour of 4 a.m.
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01x02 - Day Kids

Post by bunniefuu »

At this rate, they'll be dead before sunrise.

I know that. Don't you think I know that?

We should go! We should make a run for it.

How can you even suggest...

They're freaks, Martin.

Monsters, aberrations of nature.

What will our friends say if they find out?

Our friends? What friends, Donna?

Don't blame me because we don't have any friends.

Oh, I'm not blaming you.

Excuse me for not wanting to go out every night.

Work has been a little tiring lately.

There you go, highlighting that I don't have a job.

I don't have to highlight anything. My mother does that for me.

(LAUGHS) Your mother. Your mother.

Yes, my mother!

That woman has been poisoned against me ever since I accidentally k*lled Wally.

I still don't understand what would ever possess you to give Zoloft to a horse.

I told you I thought he looked melancholy.

Can we focus? They're gonna be back any minute.

Well, we can't just leave 'em in a diner at four in the morning.

How much money do you have?

On me?

No, in gold bullion.

Yes, of course, on you!

$65.

Leave it.

What are they gonna do with $65?

I don't know!

They'll probably have the time of their lives, not that there's any alternative.

Are you coming?

I feel horrible about this.

Grow a pair, would you, Martin?

(SLURPING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Four in the morning S01E02 It's okay. Our nurse warned us about this.

Warned you about what?

The high rate of daykid abandonment.

They didn't abandon us, Margaret.

Of course they didn't, Gogol, that's my mistake.

I'm sorry. What is a daykid?

Oh!

Oh, gosh!

William: That's r*cist.

Sorry.

What do you prefer to be called?

Actually, daykid is now the acceptable form.

Wow. When did that happen?

We're just like anyone else, really.

Except we age an entire lifetime in a day.

Sorry, you'll have to excuse my brother.

He's still a little bitter about the whole situation.

Wait. You age a whole lifetime in a day?

As in 24 hours?

Well, I suppose.

It's really more of a case-to-case thing.

We're actually averaging a year every couple of minutes.

But even that varies.

Which reminds me, in three, two, one...

(BLOWING HORNS)

Both: Nine!

Sorry. It's the little things, you know?

Excuse me. Are you daykids?

Yes, we are.

(GASPS) I'm sorry but would it be possible to take a picture with you two?

Our pleasure.

I'm not a zoo animal, Margaret.

Then stop acting like one.

(SIGHS) How horrible.

What's the big deal? People die all the time.

Have some compassion. They're kids, for god sakes.

Not for long.

You know what you are?

Being judged by a drunk girl?

You're selfish.

Maybe we should just go.

Both: Shut up, William!

So I'm selfish, am I?

You're selfish and uncaring.

I'm also uncaring that you don't have a job or pay rent, but that's never bothered you before.

Now, you may share your wealth, but you don't share yourself.

(SCOFFS)

I bet you haven't even told Bondurant the big news yet.

Stop it, Jamie.

Why?

I mean, you've been given this wonderful opportunity, this amazing gift to bring something really special into the world and you're so self-absorbed that you haven't even told your own boyfriend that you're expecting... to be promoted. (CHUCKLES)

(EXCITEDLY) What?

What is she talking about?

Mitzi: Ha...

My bank's experienced some un-forecasted growth recently, in their southern... southern division.

Bondurant: Oh.

I thought you told me they were planning to terminate that branch?

As I understand, termination is still on the table, right, Mitzi?

It's an ongoing dialog.

That's why I didn't tell you, as no decision's been reached yet.

Oh, well, yeah.

Don't embarrass me.

I'm just gonna ask.

You can't, it's rude.

It's not rude, it's a basic human urge.

What's going on?

My brother has a request.

I wanna make out with the pretty one.

You want to make out with me?

Now who's self-absorbed?

Uh, I was actually talking about you, big eyes.

What? Oh! Oh, ho, ho...

Look, I'm nineteen years old.

I've never had a first kiss.

It's starting to get pathetic.

Some people are just late bloomers.

Well, William, not all of us have time to wait until our attractive third cousin gets drunk at her grandma's 80th birthday party and asks to "take a nap together."

Uh, that's not, uh...

I'm sorry. We're very intuitive.

It's part of the condition.

Look, Gogol, uh, I want to help, but...

I'm not gay. So...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're... You're right. It was rude.

I shouldn't have asked.

Margaret, shouldn't we, uh, probably go die alone in an alley somewhere?

All right. Yes. Time is getting on.

Thank you for the pie.

Good.

Good.

(BELL ON DOOR TINKLES)

Wait!

Look!

I could see this is important to you and, hey!

Sexuality is fluid, so if you really want to...

In the rain.

Hmm?

I want to kiss you in the rain.

(EXHALES) Well, that's very romantic, but it's not raining outside.

Oh, Bondurant, where's your sense of ingenuity?

William: Mmm. Gorgeous.

Gentlemen, assume your positions.

Okay. You know you don't have to do this, right?

Actually, it's a bit fortuitous.

I haven't told anyone this before, but I've never had a first kiss.

Mitzi: What are you talking about?

You've kissed hundreds of girls.

Yes, but I've never had a first kiss.

I had a second kiss, Candice Bickerstaff stole it from under me, leapfrogging the adolescent milestone.

No, Candice... Candice was your first kiss.

Do you not understand how sequences work?

Mitzi, I want you to know that this comes from a place of love.

But it's sad that you think like that.

Okay.

Are you ready, Gogol?

No.

What's wrong?

Wait.

I need you to woo me.

Woo you?

Well, I'm not just going to kiss some stranger on the street.

Of course!

Do you have a preferred method of courtship?

Well, if you don't mind, I've actually composed a poem.

I'd like you to read it before we consummate.

All right, but please don't call it that.

Fair enough.

(CLEARS THROAT)

"Oh, Gogol, my lover My one and forever lover
On this night like no other
Your body I shall discover."

This is very good.

Thank you.

"Though you only live for a day
Your soul has lead my heart astray
Never have I felt such bliss
So please accept my tender kiss."

Rhyming scheme's a bit inconsistent...

Just skip to the end.

Yes, yes, yes.

(MUTTERS)

"Now we seal our passion That society did forbid
Between a handsome gentleman
And a lonely daykid."

(HEAVY BREATHING)
They grow up so fast.

You're telling me.

Oh! Oh.

Thank you, Gogol.

That was wonderful.

Yeah?

How about a hand job?

I'm sorry, but I've had many first ones of those!

Okay, Margaret, what about you?

Any special requests?

Well, there is one thing.

Ever since I was a little girl 20 minutes ago, I've always wanted to be a singer.

Perfect. I know this great little place that has a live backing band for you to sing karaoke.

Okay, it's on the other side of the city.

Gogol, do you still have that $65 your parents didn't abandon you with?

You bet his sweet ass I do.

Bondurant: All right. Easy now.

We still won't make it in time.

Then we'll die trying.

We won't, but they might.

Oh, come... I mean, really?

William: That's...

I'm sorry.

Okay. Yeah.

(TIRES SCREECH)

Margaret, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize...

It's fine.

This is all my fault.

No, really, it's okay.

I just need a second.

No, let me.

How're you doing, kid?

Margaret: I don't know.

I just wasted my entire life chasing after a stupid dream.

You're in good company.

I really thought this was going to be my legacy, you know?

Margaret Atwood, the voice of her day.

Now what'll people think when they hear that name, huh?

Nothing.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

And what about a family of my own?

Someone to pass on my experiences to.

That time I ate pie at a diner, or when I sat on a curb.

Mitzi: You're quite the cosmopolitan.

It's easy to be cavalier when time is on your side.

Trust me, time's not on anyone's side.

Does that mean you're thinking about keeping the baby?

What?

I'm sorry, it's the intuition again.

If you must know...

I'm not keeping it.

I mean, yeah, probably not...

Hmm...

I'm serious. I'm too young.

Yeah, well, I was too young five blocks ago.

It's different.

Never mind, you don't understand.

Actually, my little brother, Gabriel, was a daykid.

Is a daykid? Was a daykid?

Do you continue being something after you're, you know, kaput?

I'll keep you posted.

I still remember my father swelling with satisfaction, so proud of his creation.

He commissioned a great 40-foot yule marble statue of my brother chiseled from a single block of limestone.

Named an entire navy fleet after him.

Even had a parade thrown in his honor.

My mother, of course, felt otherwise.

Locked herself in the bathroom, chain smoking, like if she stayed in there long enough, the horrible little thing would just go away.

I got to give her credit for always being right.

Me, well, I was too young to understand what was going on, so Gabriel and I spent the day making plans together.

I always wanted a little brother.

All those months of poking pinholes in my mother's diaphragm had finally paid off.

I was so happy, so hopeful, I really thought that day was the best day of my life.

I guess because no one bothered to tell me it was about to be the worst.

I still remember his final few year-minutes, while we were experiencing zero gravity in the International Space Station...

Is that a common thing people do?

Gabriel turned to me, his skin was spotted and sagging, his hair white and missing.

Do you know what he said?

"The world is a cruel place?"

He said, "Delilah, "strange hammer bus left way doorstop."

What?

His oxygen pump may have been malfunctioning, but the point is, the brother I knew was gone.

Nothing we had done together mattered to him anymore.

He had no memory of us.

This is kind of lacking as far as motivational speeches go.

But it mattered to me, Margaret.

Because whether you live for one day or a hundred years, your legacy is not for you, it's for the people you leave behind.

But I'm not leaving anyone behind.

Sure you are.

So come on.

Don't let the bastards grind you down, and let's go have some fun before we sh**t your frozen corpse into orbit.

I'm sorry, I've only been through this once before, I'm sure we're not going to do that with you.

Margaret.

What?

It's a good name for a girl, don't you think?

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh!

(LAUGHTER)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Whoo!

(MARGARET YELLS)

All: (CHANTING) Gogol!

Gogol! Gogol!

(ALL CHEERING)

(RETCHING)

All: (EXCLAIMING) Whoa!

(GULPING)

Yay!

(ALL CHEERING)

Whoo!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNORTS)

Whoo!

Oh! (SQUEALS)

Bondurant: Oh, you fell, Jamie! You fell!

(LAUGHING, HOOTING)

♪♪

(PANTING)

Jamie: Hey, are you okay?

What? Oh, no, I'm fine.

(COUGHING)

Yeah?

I guess I'm not as young as I used to be.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Guess not...

♪ Soft piano music ♪

William: Oh.

Gogol: What makes it do that?

Huh?

What makes it walk along the water like magic like that?

Well, surface tension. Conservation of momentum.

Consternation of what?

Uh...

Um, when the stone pushes the water down, the water pushes back.

No kidding?

Funny how you can explain it, you can't do it, and I can do it but I can't explain it.

Yeah, hilarious.

Does that happen a lot?

William: It does, actually.

Neat-o.

What else do you find neat-o?

Oh, I don't know.

The usual stuff, I guess.

That a word can be bad.

That birds can fly forwards but not backwards.

You can feel the cold, but you can't see the cold.

Uh-huh.

You all are pretty peculiar.

Really?

Yeah.

(CHUCKLES) Why do you say that?

I hear you all talk about all this time you spend together, but none of you seem to like each other very much.

Is it possible to spend a butt-load of time with the same people, but not be really close to any of them?

Does that happen a lot?

What's your sister doing?

Margaret?

Hey, Margaret.

What gives?

I think I felt a lump.

(CHUCKLES) No!

I learned all about that at the party, they're called boobs. All the chicks get 'em.

But just don't grab them or you get slapped.

No, Gogol. That's not it.

Then we gotta get you to hospital, pronto.

There's not enough time.

Bullshit!

Gogol...

No!

I'm sick of hearing that.

"There's not enough time. There's not enough time."

How come everybody has got more time than us?

They don't.

It just feels that way.

I don't want to grow old without you.

You're already old.

Then I don't want to grow older.

I refuse.

You refuse?

Yeah.

I refuse to let it happen.

How are you gonna do that?

I don't know.

Well, will you wait here with me while you figure it out?

Please.

(CHUCKLES SLOWLY)

What should we do?

About what?

I mean, he's been standing there for 15 years.

Shouldn't one of us tell him he needs to move on?

Move on? What are you talking about?

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

He's wasting his life.

He's mourning his sister.

You don't just move on from that.

So let's leave him and go.

No!

No?

No.

He's old, we can't just leave him alone in a lake.

It's a better fate than most of the elderly in my family.

Gogol?

I'm sorry about Margaret.

I know this is difficult, but I have an idea.

Something that might make you feel better.

Okay.

Okay? (CHUCKLES)

Just like that? Why?

All your friends, they only came for what they could get out of the experience...

...sex, reminiscence, perspective.

But you came because you have a warm heart.

And, in my books, that makes you the good one.

So wherever it is you want me to go, let's get to it.

Bondurant: I feel like I've embarrassed myself in here before.

William: That could be any room.

♪ soft piano jazz ♪

What do you think?

I know it's not the most glamorous spot in the world, but...

Margaret would have loved it.

Yeah.

♪ slow music ♪
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
♪ If that's all there is, my friends ♪
♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪
♪ Break out the booze ♪
♪ And have a ball ♪
♪ If that's all there is... ♪


(MICROPHONE DROPS)

(BODY THUDS)
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