02x02 - Sportin' Waves

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING IN DISTANCE)

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(GRUNTS) Hey. What's good, Black?

Eh, you know, man. I'm cooling, man.

How you doin', boy?

You know, man. What you been up to, bruh?

Man, I'm running around like a damn chicken

- with its head cut off, boy.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, man. You know how it is at holiday time, man.

- I can't wait for this sh1t to be over.
- Yeah, man.

Hey, I heard that new song of yours, man.

That thing fye, though.

Oh, yeah? I appreciate it, fam.

Yeah, man. That sh1t cool, bruh.

Uh, thanks, man.

Yeah.

Nah, but, for real, man, you really doing your thing out here, man. Like, straight-up, bruh.

Respect, man. Hey, you getting the same thing, right?

Uh, yeah, man.

Hey, um, I want some of that molly, too, remember?

- Oh, yeah. It's five for a ounce.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's cool. And I got a... got the ten in here for that.

- All right, then.
- Hey, nigga. Hey.

Hey, that kush you gave me last time?

- Yo, that sh1t was legit, boy. (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah?

What you talking 'bout, that lemon-lime or something?

Yo. Yeah, man. Yo, you got any more of that?

- Nah, I sold all out of that sh1t, bruh.
- Psh. Damn, man.

I was smoking it my damn self, man. Let me know when you get

- some more of that, all right?
- Yeah, I got you, fam.

Hey, yo, man,

- you ever...
- It ain't my fault, bruh.

(SIGHS) Nigga.

I'm sorry about this sh1t, bruh. I mean, you'll be all right though.
You know what I'm saying?

Your song is hot, bruh. Probably go platinum or some sh1t.

I ain't making no money off that f*cking song, nigga.

Hey, calm the f*ck down, nigga.

(SCOFFS) I need this sh1t, bruh.

Real talk, man.

Hey, where Darius at, bruh?
He in the car over there?

No, man.

Cool.

Tell him I said, "What's up?"

What?

(SIGHS)

Hey, let me get your keys, too, bruh.

I don't want you to chase after me when I pull off, bruh.

- What?
- I don't want you to chase after me when I pull off though. Let me get your keys...

Nigga, I heard you. Shut up, man.

sh1t.

Appreciate it, bruh. You can... you can head out, man.

(DOOR THUMPING)

Child lock, man.

- Hold up. I got you.
- Child lock.

Can you unl... Come on. Can I get the f*ck out, please?

f*ck it, man. I got it. I got it. I'll just...

I got it. Why you got to lock in the child?!

Oh, my God.

That's the window, man! St... Oh, sh1t...

- BLACK: Hey...
- Whatever, nigga. Whatever.

Hey, I'm sorry about this sh1t, man.

Hey, I would take you home, but you might come out the house shooting at me and sh1t.
- (ENGINE STARTS)

- Hey, man.
- Nigga...

I'm-I'm sorry about this sh1t, man.

I'm-a pay you back, man.

Appreciate you, man.

♪ Yeah, I just ran through the bag, it's all there ♪

♪ Pull up if you wanna buy a half, it's all there ♪

♪ , , , , all there, uh! ♪

- EARN: Damn, that sh1t is crazy.
- ALFRED: Ten years.

I been shopping with this nigga for ten years.

He's just gonna leave me out there, stranded.

And I had to go back out there this morning with Darius to help me pick up my wheels.

You got to be careful, man.

Man, you know the worst part of it is is that he done f*cked up my whole sh1t.

Like-Like, I can't even re-up and get the money back 'cause he my plug.

He better hope I don't catch his ass out there slippin', boy...

Hey, man, y-you just got off house arrest.

- You got to be careful with...
- Oh, my God.

Here you go on that house slave sh1t, nigga.

I just told you that I almost lost my life, a'ight?

I at least got to pistol whip this nigga to death or some sh1t. f*ck out of here!

- EARN: Hi...
- WOMAN: Hi.

EARN: How are you?

MAN: You hungry?
You need anything?

We got a kitchen fully stocked for the staff.

It's all organic, you know.

Gluten-free.

- I think we're good. Yeah.
- Yeah.

MAN: Good? All right, just let me know.

I am in charge of music outreach here.

My name is Peter Savage, but everyone here calls me

- " Savage," because I'm .
- (LAUGHTER)

MAN : We're gonna call you " Savage," soon.

- PETER: All right. Take it easy.
- (LAUGHTER)

Anyway, we're all big fans of your music and your brand here, so we just want to continue to explore some opportunities for how we can grow your reach through our platform.

- Awesome.
- Cool.

- PETER: Cool.
- Cool.

Yeah, really cool. All right.

Well, we're excited to hear what you've been working on, so let's go ahead and get that going.

Absolutely. Um...

Here-Here we go.

Uh... (SHORT CHUCKLE)

We don't have any disc drives.

Yeah, it's a new state-of-the-art system.

It's all wireless and fully integrated into the platform.

How about this? Uh, do you have it on your phone or laptop?

Yeah. Yeah, actually I do.

PETER: All right, great.

Um...

Let's play it from your phone. If you don't mind, I'll just... get on the wireless here.

- Yeah.
- (HEAVY SIGH) All right...

E-mail it to me. Let's do that.

- Yeah? That cool?
- Sure, yeah.

- That'll be easier.
- Let me just...

It's, uh, savagebeast @hotmail.

I e-mailed you yesterday. It should...

EARN: Oh, yeah. You e-mailed me from it...

- Yeah, yeah.
- Um, you should be getting it...

- Okay. You've got mail.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.
No, but I do have it.

Um, let's go... let's go ahead and let's listen to it.

(MUSIC STARTS, STOPS)

Uh... Huh.

Okay. Well, maybe I didn't, uh...

MAN : Let me see.

PETER: It's saying it's invalid.

- Hey, go grab Ryan for me.
- Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

Well, see, now it says it's playing.

Yeah. That doesn't make sense.

- Okay, uh, just play another track.
- Okay.

PETER: Try another one.

No, see? That's not working, either.

Um... how 'bout this?
Could we play auxiliary?

MAN : I don't think so.

- No? All right.
- No. (CLEARS THROAT)

- Just give us, like, ten minutes.
- Yeah.

- That'd be cool.
- That'd be good. Yeah.

So, I-I started writing some music.

This is Paper Boi, and you're tuned into the Fresh Mix Rap playlist.

Long live fresh.

- (BUTTON CLICKS)
- ENGINEER: Okay.

All right, uh... Let's do another take, but let's do one... Uh...
Let's do one that's cool, that's just, like... cool.

(BUTTON CLICKS)

This is Paper Boi, and you're tuned into the Fresh Rap Mix playlist.

Long live fresh... nigga.

ENGINEER: Okay. Uh, so, let's do it again, and just, like, this time, like you're at a party, and everything's crazy. (CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER STARTS)

(MUTED MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT RAPPING)

This place, um... has a vibe.

Hell yeah.

But it's gonna help you out, man.

I'm super excited. You're gonna...

You're gonna be happy you did this.

Yeah, if you say so.

I'll say all that when I get that check, though.

Yo, what's good?

Paper Boi, what's happening, man?

♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi ♪

- ♪ All about the paper, boy. ♪
- ALFRED: sh1t.

- Hey.
- Yo, I'm a big fan, bro.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, man.

- Appreciate it, man.
- I'm Clark County.

Yeah, I know, man. (LAUGHS)

Hey, your single, "Money Bags,"

it's, um... it's dope, man.

- Thanks, man, I appreciate that.
- Mm-hmm.

What's up, man?

Oh, yeah, man. This, um. This my cousin, Earn.

Oh, Cousin Earn.

- What's good, man?
- What's going on?

Cousin Earn, you a rapper, too? Cousin Earn?

- Nah. I'm-I'm-I'm the manager.
- He's my manager.

Ah, keepin' it in the family.

- I respect that.
- Yeah.

It's nice to see some black folks up in here, man.

Yo, you know they got a chef up in here?

I got this nigga cooking me spaghetti, G.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

- For real, though.
- (LAUGHS)

I'm-a get that sh1t to go, too.

- For real.
- Hey, what's up?

- What's good, bro?
- What's up, man?

Yo, Lucas. Yo, this
is my manager, Lucas.

What's up, Earn? How you doin', baby?

- Good. I'm good.
- Good to see you.

Y'all know each other?

- Yeah, man, way back in the day.
- Yes.

- You know Paper Boi's manager?
- Yeah.

What, you're managing now?

- Oh, yeah. I'm managing now.
- Oh, yo, if he's not taking care of you, let me know. All right?

- (LAUGHS)
- Man.

- How you doing, man?
- Paper Boi,

- they're ready for you. A'ight?
- A'ight.

- Pete Savage.
- Yeah, hey.

- What's up, Pete?
- Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you.
- How you doing, man?

- Good to see you.
- What's good, man?

- What's new?
- Oh, just hanging, man.

- Yeah, man.
- Yeah, busy day. Yeah.

- It's a nice office, bro.
- Thank you. It is.

- Thank you, man.
- Living the dream, man.

- I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah.
- Of course, man.

- That's good, huh? - Yo, you need some more pictures or something?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, we can get a couple.

Earn, you want to get in this?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

- EARN: Uh, no, I'm-I'm good.
- Yeah.

- All right, man. Call me.
- All right. Here we go.

- What are we doing? Deuces?
- It's right there.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Deuces.

- (FEEDBACK SCREECHES)
- What's good?

Where my real niggas at? Put your hands up.

(WOMAN COUGHS)

Yeah.

Man... (SIGHS)

("PAPER BOI" INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING)

♪ Yo ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Paper... ♪

A-Town, what up? Hey

Hey, hey, yeah

- ♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi
- ♪ Really

- ♪ All about that paper, boy
- ♪ Paper

- ♪ Got a team to serve it
- ♪ Paper

- ♪ All from Cali to Decatur, boy
- ♪ Stack it

That paper, boy, paper, boy

- ♪ All about that paper, boy
- ♪ Yeah

I keep a ting

- ♪ Uh, yeah
- ♪ Paper Boi...

- DARIUS: Hey.
- ALFRED: Hey, what up, boy?

- EARN: What's up?
- DARIUS: Chillin'. What are we, uh...

Oh, hey. Um... Got something for you.

What's this?

For the puppies.

Nice little come up.

Oh, sh1t.

- (LAUGHS)
- Ha!

Yo, are you serious?

Yeah, buddy.

Oh, my God. People love dogs.

You know?

♪ Hey, and it all worked out. ♪

(SCOFFS) At least somebody gettin' paid in this bitch.

Hey, hey now. Don't you worry your trappin' soul, all right?

We got options coming soon, and, in fact, I'm checking on one right now.

We'll probably leave in a little bit.

Yo, Darius. Thank you so much.

Yo, how much is it, man?

There's like K here.

I did not know people liked dogs this much.

- Hell yeah.
- Yo, I could double that for you.

Uh... No, I'm-I'm good, man.

Man, you better tell your little cousin to ask about me, man.

Yeah, man. Tracy ain't lying.

He be on them damn gift cards, man.

Man, you give me the cash, and I'll double it on any card you want.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You know how Al got that TV?

Let's just say it was a steal.

(LAUGHS)

Boy, it's hot up in here, man.

ALFRED: 'Cause of all that damn grease

you got in your scalp, boy.

Whatever, man. Don't hate.

I'm about to have these waves going crazy like the Bermuda Triangle, boy.

Nigga, you be acting like you the king of waves around here and sh1t.

I'm the Prince of Tides, nigga.

(LAUGHTER)

Man, I got that job interview, so you know, I got to be on point.

See, first, you got to brush it, right?

And then, you just let them bake.

ALFRED: Bruh, you ain't the only one who know how to get no damn waves. Okay?

TRACY: Not like these, nigga.

Ooh, yeah.

They baking now, boy.

(LAUGHS)

Ah, man. You always mentioning these miraculous waves.

- Let me see them.
- Nah, nah. Not yet, man.

I got to leave them undisturbed.

They in the oven right now.

I got to let them bake, baby.

- (LAUGHS)
- Yeah.

So, can you double any amount on any card, or does it have to be something like Best Buy?

Man, any store. See, the mall got these gift cards

for the entire place, man.

I can even do those.

Just give me the cash, and I'll double it for you.

Oh, you ready to rock?

ALFRED: sh1t, yeah, man. Let's dip.

- (EXCLAIMS)
- (ALFRED GRUNTS)

- Hey, you know, you could just let me...
- Damn, go on, man.

- You always playing with me, man.
- No one will even know.

- Leave, man
- Nobody won't even...

- Quit playing!
- Come on, D-Man.

Yo, get your boy, man!

Hey, I wanted to see them.

- Yeah, damn.
- (DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Is there a limit on these?

Nah, no limit.

Matter of fact, I got to go get some stuff from the mall, anyway.

So, want to roll?

Yeah, I'll roll.

Cool. Come on, then.

I got to get a pedicure, anyway, man.

I got them vampire feet.

You know what I'm sayin'?

SHAG: So, I pretty much stay with some of that, like, always.

The more exotic stuff like that Skywalker depends, though.

ALFRED: Yeah, I feel you, man.

Man, the ticket is right on this, though.

And I can cut you a better deal depending on

- how much you get, you know?
- Yeah, that makes sense, man.

The MDMA shouldn't be a problem as long as you let me know how much you want do from, like, week to week.

All right, yeah.

Oh, oh, the way that smells.

- Yeah, man. That's cool, man.
- Yeah.

- Price is right?
- Oh, that's much better. Mm-hmm.

Yo, I'm a fan of your music, by the way.

sh1t's dope.

Thanks, man.

- ♪ Don't wake... ♪
- (WHISPERS): Sweet.

- DARIUS: ♪ Don't wake me... ♪
- Yeah.

(SNIFFS) Okay, I'm dreamin'.

- (LAUGHS)
- (CAMERA PHONE CLICKS)

Hey, yo... Yo, man? You just take a picture of me?

No.

- Let me get this.
- Yeah, yeah.

You sure your boy cool, man?

Y-Yeah, it's just...

He's a fan.

I told you he got the juice, man...

Oh.

- (LAUGH)
- Make your eyes water, bruh.

- Oh. Wow.
- This is good, man.

I mean, people want that loud right here, bruh.

This smell like my grandma's face.

(LAUGHS) That's right.

- (PHONE VIBRATES)
- This is it, right here, man.

Yeah. I think that's the one.

I know it's the one, man. I can feel it.

(GRUNTS) Oh...

- Mwah.
- Bruh...

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a funny show, but the way they dive into depression, and especially after what he did to her daughter.

I was like... like, "Can I even feel bad for this horse anymore?"

(SCOFFS)

Yo, man, I got to pick up some shoes for my job interview today.

Man, hey, yo, you seem like the preppy type.

Yo, what's a good brand?

Uh, I don't know.

W-Why do I seem preppy?

I don't know, man, you just look like the type.

f*ck it.

Yeah, these is what I'm looking for.

Man, these white people are gonna love me.

I'm-a get hired on the spot.

Mm.

This is it.

EARN: So, um... what kind of job are you interviewing for?

Some marketing job or some sh1t.

Yo, they pay, like, an hour.

I'm trying to hit that lick, boy.

Yo, you went to Princeton, right?

Yeah.

Man, how should I talk to these white folk?

Um, I don't know.

Probably don't call them "white folks," and... talk confidently.

A'ight.

A'ight, cool, cool.

Yeah, 'cause, you know, I'm a talker.

(CHUCKLES)


So, um...

Those gift cards, they work in here?

I don't know.

I'm just gonna take this sh1t.

(LAUGHS)

Wait, what?

Hell yeah.

They got a no chase policy.

(CHUCKLES)

What are you talking about?

BRIAN: Uh, hello, sir. Uh... can I help you find anything today?

They got a no chase policy.

They can't stop me.

Most of these stores got it. It's a liability thing.

Even if they see me stealing, they can't chase me.

Um, sir. Those shoes, can I get you a different size, or...

See. He got to keep giving me great customer service.

That's all he could do.

Hey, e-excuse me, sir.

Exc...

(CHIMES)

(WATER RUNNING)

(GROWLING)

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

You high over there, man?

Yeah, man, definitely. (LAUGHS)

I mean, look, that kush was legit, though, man, for real.

Dude, I only smoke the best sh1t.

I get it from Humboldt County, best weed in America.

- (SIGHS) That's what's up, man.
- Yeah, man.

My uncle... He's got a farm up there.

Been growing since forever.

Yeah, but how-how much you do for the pound?

Man, it depends on the strain...

Outdoor, indoor... but for you,

I'll give you a good discount, 'cause I'm a fan.

Well, I mean, like, what you charge everybody else, though?

Nah, it's cool, bro.

I just got to get a pic before you go.

(ANDY LAUGHS)

I'm just playing. I'm just playing. You good.

(ALFRED AND DARIUS LAUGH)

Yo, I saw you perform at Dirty Laundry one time.

Me and my girl were in there.

Yeah, she's the one that put me on to you, bro.

Word? Well, that's cool.

Wait. So your girl like hippity hop?

Oh, yeah, man. She's gangsta, bro.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Gangsta, man.

Yo, I can supply you with pretty much anything.

Give me your phone number, and we can link, all right?

I don't really do business over the phone or anything, but, you know, we can set up some meetings or whatever.

(INHALING, BUBBLING)

(ALFRED GROANS)

Hey, man, that tree was fire.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- sh1t, I'm still high.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Yeah, you are, nigga.

Go to the passenger's side. (LAUGHS)

Oh, that was... that's where I was going.

- Oh. What's up?
- (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

Hey, um... how you know dude, again?

Oh, that's who our boy Jeff used to re-up with 'em.

Okay.

(GRUNTS)

(PHONE BUZZING)

♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi, I'm about that paper, boy ♪

♪ If you ain't on your grind and you flexin' ♪

- ♪ You's a hater, boy...
- What the hell?

Yeah, an acoustic rap cover.

Them white girls love that sh1t.

Yeah, let me see.

ALFRED: That nigga Andy sent it.

- Nope. Nope.
- (TURNS CLIP OFF)

(PHONE BUZZES)

No, he didn't.

- No, this nigga didn't. Man, c...
- (PHONE WHOOSHES)

- (WHOOSHING)

- (ALFRED SIGHING)
- (PHONE WHOOSHING)

Oh.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS, TIRES SQUEAL)

(PHONE WHOOSHING RAPIDLY)

(INDISTINCT CROWD CHATTER)

How you doing?

(REGISTER BEEPS)

You guys, um... take gift cards?

Cool.

(CREDIT CARD MACHINE WHIRRING)

Thanks.

(INDISTINCT CROWD CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(PHONE BUZZES)

Where the f*ck is this asshole?

(EXHALES)

He is...

(PHONE BUZZES)

What?

Oh, I'm-a kill this nigga.

I'm gonna kill this nigga.

sh1t.

(TV PLAYING FAINTLY)

(DARIUS SPUTTERING)

What the hell, nigga?

(LAUGHING)

Man, I had to ride the bus like this.

Think a old lady stole my Vitamix, man.

- (LAUGHS)
- Damn, man, that sh1t is expensive.

I hope you got the, uh, insurance on it.

Man, Tracy owe me some money.

I didn't even get to spend the whole $ , .

And this nigga's stealing,

- right while I'm there, you know?
- (LAUGHS)

Good luck getting any of that damn money back.

- (COUGHING)
- DARIUS: Wait, wait, wait.

- Tracy stole from the store?
- EARN: Yeah.

Right in front of me, he took a bunch of shoes.

Said something about a "no-chase policy."

Oh, yeah, he's right about that.

TV ADVERTISER: will not protect or prevent injury...

Well, I hope he's happy.

- Almost got arrested.
- (LAUGHS)

Smoke something, there.

Where were you?

I called you, like, six times.

Yeah, um...

I need a new phone.

DARIUS: Oh, look at this dude.

This Clark County dude,

- he making money, man.
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪

- ♪ I flex on the bitch like ♪
- ♪ Yoo-hoo

- ♪ I just got sh1t like ♪
- ♪ Yoo-hoo

♪ Haters gonna hate like uh till they see me in the face ♪

- ♪ Then they all like ♪
- ♪ Yoo-hoo

- ♪ Saw your baby mama like ♪
- ♪ Yoo-hoo

♪ And then I sent her home with a good night ♪

♪ Bottle's in his hands like good night ♪

♪ And we drink Yoo-hoo like it's dirty Sprite ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- Aw, I hate this sh1t.

♪ Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo... ♪

- Man...
- ♪ Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo ♪

sh1t is good.

♪ Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo. ♪

Yeah.

I mean, that might be a big gap in my résumé, but, you know, I think I could be a big help to this organization here.

(EXHALES)

How you doing?

I'm great.

I think that might be my biggest weakness, because I love learning.

- MAN: Mm.
- TRACY: You know?

You cannot stop me from learning.

Like, every day I'm looking for something new to learn.

Well, I think you have a lot of potential.

TRACY: Huh.

Yeah. Yeah.

Unfortunately...

I don't think we'll be able to offer you a job here right now.

It... we're just fully staffed at the moment.

Man, f*ck y'all.

Y'all racist as hell up in here, man!

f*ck you want from me, man?

Get some black people up in here, that's your motherfucking problem, boy.

- (DOOR OPENS)
- sh1t.

(DOOR SLAMS)

TRACY (FADING): I don't want to work for you anyway.

- Ameri-KKK, nigga!
- (ACOUSTIC GUITAR BEGINS)

AMBER: ♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi ♪

♪ I'm about that paper, boy ♪

♪ If you ain't on your grind ♪

♪ And you flexin', you's a hater, boy ♪

♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi ♪

♪ I'm about that paper, boy ♪

♪ If you ain't makin' money ♪

♪ Then you ain't a money maker, boy ♪

♪ Paper clip, paper clip ♪

♪ I'm-a need a paper clip ♪

♪ I'm stacking up this paper ♪

♪ So you know I'll make this paper flip ♪

♪ Paper flip, paper flip ♪