02x08 - Woods

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Atlanta" Premiered September 2016 - current.*
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"Atlanta" follows two cousins navigating their way in the Atlanta rap scene in an effort to improve their lives and the lives of their families.
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02x08 - Woods

Post by bunniefuu »

(BIRDS SINGING)

(BIRDS CONTINUE SINGING)

(CLATTERS)

Geez.

- This place is a mess.
- Mm.

You ever hear of a trash can?

- And I know you know how to fold.
- (GROANS)

Uh-uh. Get up.

You know good and well I did not raise a son this lazy.

Get on up now. It's close to noon.

(LORRAINE HUMMING GOSPEL MELODY)

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

(LORRAINE'S HUMMING FADES)

(SIGHS)

(PHONE CONTINUES BUZZING)

Yeah?

(OVER PHONE): Hey, it's Earn.

Um, just checking in.

You-you doing okay today?

Al?

Yeah, man. I'm-I'm-I'm... yeah, I'm okay.

All right. Good, um, did you get a chance

to look over those forms yet?

They need them to be signed by Wednesday.

Nope. I, um... I ain't get a chance yet.

- Okay. Just...
- Yeah.

♪ Eat, sleep ♪

♪ Everybody wanna be a n*gga, but nobody wanna be a n*gga ♪

♪ When it's time to be a n*gga ♪

♪ Please, 'cause if I get nervous we get un-sturdy ♪

- ♪ And we start to squeeze ♪
- ♪ Okay, niggadom. ♪

What's up, bro?

Hey.

You all right?

Yeah.

Hungry?

Nah, bruh. I'm good.

You sure? I just learned how to make pasta.

n*gga, when'd you learn to make pasta?

In a dream.

Yeah, Mayor McCheese was there,

the girl from Dharma and Greg...

- (CAR HORN HONKS)
- Oh, that's, um...

that's my ride, man. I'll see you later.

Is that Sierra?

Yeah.

- Mm.
- (SCOFFS) What, man?

Nothing, man. I just, you know,

I thought you were allergic to girlfriends.

- Man, Sierra ain't my girlfriend.
- Okay.

Well, make sure you ask her

if she wants some of this fire pasta. Yeah?

I will, um, keep that in mind, bruh.

- I'll see you later.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, I'm serious, man.

I'm-a put my foot up in this.

(GRUNTS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(CAR ENGINE REVS, HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS)

♪ I need some drop,
I need some drop ♪

- ♪ I need a bird
- ♪ Brr, brr

♪ Color like Durk... ♪

ALFRED: What's up, girl?

♪ : a.m. I'm just gettin' started ♪

♪ For my birthday, I threw me a surprise party ♪

♪ Reminiscin' 'bout the trap ♪

♪ Playin' the first Carter ♪

♪ My life changed when I had my first daughter ♪

♪ Got my first quarter flippin' $ slabs ♪

♪ Your n*gga lookin' at the bills... ♪

(CHUCKLES)

You know I used to dance around here, right?

(CHUCKLES) In that strip club right there.

♪ So you kind of the boss ♪

♪ You keep playin' with me... ♪

Yeah. Yeah, you told me.

You ever go in there?

(CHUCKLES) sh*t. Sometimes.

Well, maybe you seen me there before,

like, before we was anything special.

sh*t, I could've been grinding on your junk

thinking you was just another dumb, broke n*gga. (CHUCKLES)

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

And I could've thought you was just another stuck-up ho

with too many damn stretch marks.

♪ Drop a pin, send a location... ♪

(LAUGHING)

You crazy, girl.

God, I'm so glad you could kick it today.

- (LAUGHS)
- Yeah.

I swear, I don't see nobody no more.

It's just photo sh**t and appearances.

sh*t is crazy.

Yeah, I hear that.

Yeah. You get it, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

It's nice to be around someone who gets it.

DJ (OVER RADIO): . The Jam.

Nothing but the hits.

("PAPER BOI" BEGINS PLAYING)

♪ Uh, uh... ♪

Oh, sh*t.

Aah! (LAUGHS)

Yeah!

(SIERRA LAUGHS)

♪ Hey, yeah, Paper... ♪

How's it going? Go over here?

SIERRA: Yo, Alfred.

Yo.

SIERRA: You should get these shoes.

ALFRED: (BLOWS OUT LIPS) I ain't got no interest

in looking like no damn black Aladdin.

SIERRA: Ugh. Whatever.

That dope boy from the hood act won't last long.

Really? Since when can you tell the future?

- Uh, since I'm about that money.
- (SCOFFS)

Y-You keep being smart, but I'm serious.

People gonna get tired of seeing a sweaty n*gga

in a polo and cargo shorts.

Nobody wants somebody famous to look just like them.

Yo, how much are they?

Man, who cares? If you like them,

have your manager get them for you for free.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, that ain't happening.

Yeah, why?

'Cause Earn, man, he don't...

he don't know how to do all that.

He don't get you free sh*t?

I mean, he get me liquor sent to the house sometimes,

- but other than that...
- (LAUGHS)

Oh, my God! Baby.

Baby, you got to level up.

Get you a manager with a big d*ck.

You know, girl, I don't know nothing about all that.

Look, enough with the kiddie sh*t.

You need someone who's working for you.

- Whatever, girl.
- Mm-hmm.

Uh, hello?

Can we get some assistance?

He needs to see a couple sizes in this shoe.

- Yeah.
- (CHUCKLES)

You bossing white people around, huh?

Hey, somebody got to do it.

ALFRED: I got you.

Aw. (CHUCKLES)

Huh?

Ah, that girl just posted that picture.

So sweet.

I love fans.

Huh. Ooh!

- I'm sorry.
- (LAUGHS)

It tickled. I-I-I'm sorry.

I ain't never felt nothing like that before.

Oh, you know, most guys would not be caught dead in here.

Is that right?

Hell yeah. n*gg*s be acting

like grooming theirself is gay.

- That sh*t's f*cked up.
- (CHUCKLES)

Ain't nothing wrong with caring about your hair,

your nails, your skin.

Most n*gg*s need makeup more than I do.

You don't need makeup.

Aw, you're so sweet.

No, I'm serious.

It's my brand.

I'm Instagram famous, boo.

I can't be selling my wigs, and out here looking janky.

I got to compete with white girls with lip fillers

and butt injections, selling lip gloss and spray tan.

sh*t.

Everybody want to be a black girl,

but the black girls ain't making no money from it.

Hey!

Watch it.

(SIGHS)

Um, you need to post on Instagram more.

No, no.

I hope your manager's figured that out.

- (LAUGHS)
- He...

He's a...

It don't even matter.

Hey, look, no offense, but, um...

I ain't into all that fake sh*t.

I'm just trying to stay real.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

Oh, that's funny?

- (LAUGHS)
- Huh? That sh*t funny to you?

Kinda.

sh*t, you on the radio, and you making money.

You been not real.

(NAIL TECHS SPEAKING IN KOREAN)

SIERRA: Uh-uh. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Y'all got to speak English if you working on me.

Don't play with me.

I will call Marco over here,

and he will bounce both of your asses out the door.

See? See, when they start speaking in another language,

that's when you know they talking sh*t.

Especially her.

She got a attitude every time I come up in here,

talking to me up out her nose.

Man, why you bring me here?

Hmm?

We hanging, Paper Boi.

Sh...

(SIGHS)

Look. I just think we could be good together.

Okay, so you want a boyfriend?

We can get that money.

We already getting money.

We can attach our brands.

Boost each other... Look, we don't even

have to f*ck all the time.

We just got to give them something to talk about.

Something like... this.

(CAMERA PHONE CLICKS)

Hey... hey, hey, hey. Hey.

Delete that picture, Sierra.

Why?

'Cause I told you, I ain't into that weird-ass fake sh*t.

Uh, why are you so moody today?

Because you ain't ask my permission to take that,

- that's why.
- Permission? n*gga, you famous.

Look, just delete the damn photo, Sierra!

Why? What was I supposed to say, "please"?

- I just told you, I ain't about that...
- What, n*gga,

'cause you real?

(QUIETLY): f*ck this.

You sitting over there, whining, acting like you better than me

'cause I'm trying to get paid.

Wake the f*ck up.

That sh*t ain't real.

Look, I ain't got to stop being me, all right?

That's something boring-ass people like yo ass got to do.

Well, where are you going?

ALFRED: I'm leaving.

I drove.

I can walk, ho.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(PHONE BUZZES)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

TEEN: I told you, like, times, man.

There are no zero gravity scenes in Star Wars.

- You sure?
- n*gga, you ain't even seen those movies.

Why the f*ck do you care?

Whoa!

You Paper Boi.

What's up, man?

Yo, this is so crazy.

We've been listening to you from the start.

Man, we love that new song, bruh.

I've been driving my momma crazy with it.

(LAUGHTER)

I appreciate that, man.

When I tell my brother about this, he gonna trip.

- Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So what are you doing here?

- I'm just living, man.
- TEEN : You alone?

You ain't got no car?

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING IN DISTANCE)

I ain't allowed to walk?

Aw, you keeping it real.

That's what's up. That's what's up.

Yeah, that's right.

TEEN : Yeah.

(SIGHS) Well, sh*t.

(TRAIN RATTLING PAST)

- (g*nsh*t)
- I got his watch!

(MOANS)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, sh*t!

(g*nsh*t)

(PANTING)


TEEN: Paper Boi!

(PANTING)

- Hey, Paper Boi!
- f*ck!

Where the f*ck do you think you're going?

f*ck!

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(BIRDS SINGING)

(GRUNTS) sh*t.

Okay.

(EXHALES) Okay.

Okay.

(BIRDS WHISTLING, CHIRPING)

(INSECTS BUZZING)

(MAN HUMMING)

(BIRD WINGS FLAPPING)

(CREATURES CHITTERING)

Oh, sh*t.

(MAN CONTINUES HUMMING)

Who's that?!

MAN: "Who's that?" That, that, that.

(MAN LAUGHS)

What the f*ck, man?

- "What the f*ck?"
- sh*t.

(MAN CACKLING)

Hey, look, man, I don't-I don't want no trouble, all right?

I'm just passing through.

You looking for them boys? Them bad boys?

Yeah. Yeah, you seen which way they went?

Yeah, I seen. Th-They went that way.

Then they went that way.

Then they went there. (LAUGHING)

- No.
- I'm sorry.

- (FLIES BUZZING)
- I'm just high.

- You want some money?
- Nah, man.

Come on. Let me give you some money.

You can't go to the dance without no money, boy.

Let old Wally help you out.

Wait. Wait!

Please!

I lost my baby.

What?

Take some ChapStick.

I don't like sharing lip to lip. You got germs?

Don't follow me, man.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(INSECTS TRILLING, LEAVES FLUTTERING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(WOOD CREAKING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(MAN HUMMING A GOSPEL MELODY)

Man, will you shut the hell up, man?

Stop following me! Take your ass home.

- You in bad shape, boy.
- (FLIES BUZZING)

- Oh, sh*t.
- (CACKLES)

(FLIES BUZZING)

Oh, come on, man.

That's you.

Deer guts.

That's what I'll call you.

Big ol' black-boy deer guts.

(LAUGHS)

You're stubborn.

You're stubborn, and you're black. (LAUGHS)

I'm serious, man.
Leave me the f*ck alone!

Boy, you is just like your mama.

What?

(LAUGHS)

What's the matter?
You looking all crazy.

(LAUGHING)

Don't think you can out-slip me.

(MAN CHUCKLES)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

MAN: Why you sitting?

I'm tired, man.

I'm tired. I had a very bad day.

(MAN HUMMING)

sh*t.

Ahh.

I-I just need to think, man.

- Boy, ain't nobody could do that.
- (CHUCKLES)

n*gga, you so damn useless.

You better watch how you talk to people, deer guts.

You sit around in people's houses insulting 'em.

You better stand up and make a decision

about how you getting out of here.

n*gga, just leave me alone. g*dd*mn.

Make the decision.

n*gga...

Keep standing still,

you're gone, boy.

You're wasting time.

And the only people who got time are dead.

And if you're dead, I'm gonna take them shoes

and your wallet

and that shirt.

(STIFLED CRYING) All right.

I...

Okay.

Just...

sh*t.

(GRUNTS)

MAN: I'm-a count to ,

and if you ain't walked out of here by then,

I'm gonna hurt you,

'cause ain't nobody out here but you and me, boy.

One... two... three...

(PANTING)

(HOWLING IN DISTANCE)

sh*t!

(PANTING)

(SOBBING)

(CHUCKLES)

(BIRD WINGS FLAPPING)

(HUMMING GOSPEL MELODY)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

KID: Hey, excuse me.

A-Are you Paper Boi?

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, yeah, man.

Yeah, I'm Paper Boi.

(SIGHS)

You want a picture?

Come on.

All right. There you go.

- Yeah, yeah. I got it.
- All right.

Ready?

(PHONE CAMERA CLICKING)

Got to give, like, a mob face, man.

Yeah. Do it again.

(PHONE CAMERA CLICKS)

You got it? Take another one.

All right.

All right, man.

- Thank you.
- Yep.

Be safe out here.
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