01x09 - S-L--SLED H-O--HOCKEY

[Indistinct shouting, whistle blows]

All right, class, substitutions in.

That's you.

Hike!

♪ ♪

I'm open! I'm open!

I-I can't see the board, but that's the gist, right?

Yeah. Pass the ball!

Pass it!

Oh, no. She listened.

What?

JJ, run!

Roll, go, whatever. Just go!

[Cheers and applause]

Go!

What... What are you doing? Keep going.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Wha...

So no one's coming?

You're just gonna let him score?

"So P-A... Patronizing."

Okay, then. He's coming back.

Pull off a flag or get run over!

Go on, JJ.

Yeah, you know who the slow ones are.

♪ ♪

[Clicks tongue] All right.

Done with my Honors English reading.

And now time for some pleasure reading.

[Saxophone playing poorly]

Since when did you play saxophone?

Since I found out it was so loud.

[Sighs]

Kenneth! Quick!

There's a man outside, and he's not breathing.

You've got to come and do CPR.

Oh, no. I-I can't.

I haven't taken the class yet.

But you promised you would!

And now a man has died. Oh, the horror!

You sure there's not a more dramatic way to ask if he got CPR-certified?

I am being ridiculous with a purpose.

It is my brand.

You agreed to do that class immediately.

Now, if you take this job seriously, I want to see one of these.

A tattered CPR card that expired in 2002?

Oh, help me, Maya! Oh!

I'm dying in 1998.

How about, "Neither of us is certified?

Let's go take a class together and let poor Ray read."

I can't feel my arm.

And "Titanic" is #1 at the box office.

Ugh!

[Groans]

So, you made a great play in football, and that's a bad thing?

"It was P-A-T-R-O-N-I-Z-I-N... Patronizing."

Oh, I get that.

Hey, am I the one who takes the longest to guess which words you're writing?

Yeah. Hm.

"I don't want pity."

Hey, buddy. We're kind of having a talk.

Isn't there someplace else you can go?

I'm trying to go to a place called me.

[Door opens, closes]

"They let me win. I want to really play. I want the thrill of C-O-M-P... Competition."

If that's what you want, I have just the thing.

♪ ♪

[Ladder crashes]

Ray: Help!

Jimmy: You want to really compete?

No pity, no mercy? Careful what you wish for.

Who needs sports? This has everything you need.

Table top, so it's perfect JJ height.

Joystick... think you know your way around one of those.

If there is a more thrilling form of competition for a young man in a wheelchair, this guy hasn't seen it.

Wait. We were gonna...

Let's go, guys. Josh, start us out.

"Do you see this?"

♪ ♪

[Both scream]

So, a few questions.

What the hell?

Why, God, why?

I need a new loofah.

That's more of a statement.

I-I am so sorry.

It's just that JJ and I had been running around all day, and I got sweaty.

Now, normally, I'd just go to the gym and take a shower, but...

I'm sorry. Is this an incantation that will make me unsee your everything?

It's not.

Okay, then.

I think a conversation about professionalism needs to happen.

And this is related to the shower incident?

Directly, yes, yes.

Oh.

I feel you're getting too comfortable.

I've noticed a pattern of late.

Failure to take CPR, some tardiness.

The missing lasagna.

The missing lasagna?

Oh, no, that's my cute, uh, nickname for the shower thing.

Mm. At any rate, it appears it bears reminding this is a job.

And assuming you wish for it to remain your job, kindly treat it as such.

Wait. Are you being for real?

You actually, like, got extra British there.

Well, that's not possible.

Got it. Understood.

Thank you, Kenneth.

We have to get to our CPR class.

First, I must take my shower.

Okay, and if we're being professional, I'd like to just state that the conditioner was gone before I got in that room.

And if we're being very professional... that was a lie.

♪ ♪

Ray: What the...

I found it.

A place called me.

[Coughs]

You never heard of sled hockey?

It's the most popular Paralympic sport.

Guys love it.

Feels good, right?

Look at you... Like a regular Steve Cash.

The famous sled-hockey player?

Can't get anything past you, huh?

Or Steve Cash, 'cause he a goalie, maybe?

Okay.

So, what do you say, JJ, my man?

You want to get in there and mix it up a little bit?

All right, that's what I like to see.

Ha!

[Chuckles]

Quick question.

Uh [sighs]

JJ's never done anything like this before.

Are you sure it's safe?

Oh, absolutely.

Hold up.

Leg time-out.

Real ones usually stay on.

♪ ♪

You're very quiet.

Who?

I know you don't want to hear from me.

I'm sorry if I was a little short earlier, but if you're gonna get upset every time I threaten to fire you, I'm gonna have to let you go.

Oh, come on.

Intercepted!

[Both chuckle]

I'm Darren.

Nice catch, my man. Kenneth.

Thank you. This is my wife, Amanda.

Hello.

Hey.

And... And your wife is...?

Um...

His boss.

Kenneth works with my son.

Perfect abdominal thrusts, Kenneth.

And your form... So tender.

Well, thank you.

I think of the Heimlich as an act of love between two consenting adults, one of whom is choking.

You're making the rest of us look bad.

[Chuckles] I'm kidding, man. Much love.

Don't judge yourself against this.

I, uh... I'm a professional aide.

Amanda: Really?

We've been thinking about getting a full-time aide for our little boy.

Okay.

Better, Maya.

Not quite as good as Kenneth, but getting there.

I don't suppose you have a twin, Kenneth.

Aside from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

[Laughter] Oh, you.

I must say, it feels nice to be wanted.

Oh, please.

So strong.

Yeah.

Who wouldn't want you?

It's a crazy world we live in, huh?

[Thudding]

Maya, stop. That's enough.

Fine. Let him die.

Her fault.

♪ ♪
♪ How lucky can one guy be? ♪

Which TED Talk should I watch?

♪ I kissed her and she kissed me ♪

Play all.

[Sighs] I love my life.

You ready for this, JJ?

Okay, I talked to Coach Barry, and I think you're gonna be pretty pleased.

Good job, water boy.

You done this before?

What?

You're part of the team... A big part.

They go out there thirsty, they've already lost.

JJ, where you going?

That kid just smacked his lips.

That means he's thirsty.

[Buzzer]

I don't understand why you're mad at me.

If anything, I should be mad at you.

Introduce you to "Ms. Pac-Man," you just blow her off.

That's gonna be fun phone call tomorrow.

"It's gym class all over.

You treat me like a F-R... Fragile flower."

What's wrong?

We went to ice rink to play a nice game of "Ms. Pac-Man."

There were some disabled guys on sleds playing this really intense game of hockey.

JJ wanted to join in.

Fantastic. How was it?

"I wasn't allowed to play."

Who said you couldn't play? I want a name.

Does it start with "B"? I'm getting a "B."

I get very psychic in the presence of injustice.

You?

I thought you'd agree with me.

I figured you do your overprotective thing.

No, sir.

This is my "do not exclude my son, he can do anything" thing.

Oh, that's the bad one.

Of course he can play sled hockey.

You didn't let JJ play sled hockey?

Okay, this is a sport we didn't know existed this afternoon.

It was like hockey hockey! He could get hurt.

I get hurt playing sports all the time.

At a meet last week, I got decapitated.

That's not... No, you weren't.

You weren't there.

I'm pretty sure you're... Okay.

Everybody gets hurt. Why shouldn't JJ?

Because he's different?

Can you go somewhere?

Are you saying my son's different?

Did I say "different"?

"Implied."

Yeah.

I'm sorry. I was wrong.

Of course you're not different.

He's not, okay?

Now, can I have a second with your mom?

I did get decapitated.

I believe it. It explains a lot.

Okay.

All that talk, whatever.

He's different.

It's a league for kids just like him.

Is he different from them?

Yes.

How?

He's mine.

Everything he's been through... What, like 20 surgeries?

Do we need to bash him into other kids?

That's what's missing from his life?

Jimmy, there is a whole world full of people who will tell him what he can't do.

That is covered.

Our job is to tell him otherwise.

That is our job.

And, you know, hey, if he gets injured, you and Kenneth know CPR.

Yeah, about Kenneth.

There's a couple at CPR... I think they want to steal him.

They can offer him things we can't.

Money?

Worse... kindness.

Mm.

If we're gonna keep Kenneth, I'm gonna have to be nice to him.

Well... he will be missed.

♪ ♪

Hello, Kenneth. Aren't you looking dapper?

What? 'Cause I got a shirt on?

I-I get it. I'm... I'm better in clothes.

Not what I meant.

But it occurs to me... I did see you nude, and it was rude of me not to comment.

Yeah, well, the silence was deafening.

A long-overdue kudos.

Here, have a cupcake.

They say "Kenneth."

And I say Kenneth is great.

Got a "K."

It does, yeah.

So, tell me.

What's new with you?

There's a reason why I'm looking so good.

Hm?

I just broke up with my ex.

Oh.

Hence the revenge bod.

Mm.

She texted me the other day, Tracey did.

Stop it, she didn't.

Yeah, she's got this new guy.

Does she?

Flashy. Money.

You know, why do I need to know this?

I don't know.

Because she wants to win.

She wants to win.

But I don't want to play the game anymore.

No, don't play the game.

I just need to shut this down.

Not to hurt her. Just to say, "Enough."

Enough.

"Tracey, you do you.

I'm doing Kenneth."

"I'm doing Kenneth."

All right, class, let's get started.

To be continued.

Better be.

[Chuckles]

All right, see, JJ?

We're getting in there, we're mixing it up.

Whoa, close one.

Oh, oh.

Over here.

Coming to you.

No, we don't want it.

That guy's open.

[Sighs]

Nice.

Wha...

All right, let's do this.

[Motorhead's "Ace Of Spades" plays]

Brace for impact!

Oh!

That wasn't so bad.

Loose puck.

Come on, JJ.

It's all yours.

Come on, come on.

Yeah!

All right.

Do we say something to him?

Uh, uh, maybe we own him?

We own you. Good job, JJ.

♪ The pleasure is to play ♪
♪ It makes no difference what you say ♪

'Sup, Ray?

What are you doing in here?

[Music stops]

You shouldn't have been so careless.

I could smell your candles from the front yard.

You can't be here. This is my place.

I need it to relax and contemplate and process my fears and emotions.

So I read.

Yeesh.

Take your pizza, mention my dream about Mom to no one, and get out of my space.

Share it with me, or that journal goes up on the cloud.

A place called us it is.

Psst, Ken.

Hmm?

Hey.

I just want to apologize if we caused any trouble with your boss.

[Chuckles] What are you talking about?

Well, before class, she told us, stay away, you're taken.

You don't say.

Huh.

Suddenly, these cupcakes got a lot less appetizing.

♪ ♪

You having fun?

Yeah, me too.

You know, I was never really much of an athlete as a child.

Oh!

You know what? Later.

We got a game to play.

What? Right, back on defense.

Let's do this.

Block, block, block, block!

Oh.

Is that your t...

Dentist. Dentist.

Dentist. Dentist!

Kenneth.

Hey.

JJ's not even here.

No.

[Television shuts off]

But my buddy is.

Ah. [Chuckles]

By the way, uh, you are out of bagels, cream cheese, tomatoes, and bandages.

Uh, I'm not that good at cutting bagels.

What's mine is yours... buddy.

So, I'm guessing you are wanting the latest chapter in the saga with my ex.

Want? Try need.

[Chuckles]

So, I'm having this dream about Tracey last night, and we are in a boat in the middle of... get this... The ocean.

What? Mind... blown.

Yeah, and we're having a fantasy-football draft.

And my running backs are DeAngelo Williams, Jeremy Hill, and Julius Thomas.

But crazy thing is, in real life, Julius Thomas is a tight end.

Is he? Wow.

What a fascinating story to tell while barefoot.

So, after the draft, I'm tired, and so I take a nap.

And then I have a dream in my dream!

Oh, I can't take it anymore!

I hate hearing about people's dreams.

I know.

You told me once, and I listened.

I care.

Unlike you, who's just pretending to because you're afraid that that CPR couple will steal me away.

They told you about that, did they?

[Voice breaking] Did they also tell you how I teared up at the thought of losing you and how I've come to think of you as the brother that I never had?

[Normal voice] Fine. Too Far.

You bug me!

I only put up with you 'cause I care about JJ.

Yeah, right back at you.

[Thud]

No. Don't.

Wait, what happened to the saxophone?

Doesn't fit in my practice space.

And I'm a lot better at this.

[Sour notes play]

Okay, okay, that's it.

That's it. You have to leave.

Or what? Are you gonna journal about it?

I would be well within my rights.

I can't have my little sister around all the time.

I need my privacy.

You do? [Scoffs]

You think it's easy sharing a bedroom with your two older brothers?

I can't change in my own room.

I can't get any of my girlfriends to come over, let alone any dudes.

Gross!

Well, it's true.

You're not the only one who needs privacy, Ray.

You're just the one who complains about it the most.

Why do you think I need to play the blues?

[Sour notes play]

Right.

Until JJ gets his tooth repaired, there will be no solid food at this table.

Just instant mashed potatoes.

My teeth didn't get knocked out.

Not yet, they didn't.

Now, listen to Mom and eat your gruel.

Didn't know it was gonna be so violent.

Wasn't it just a practice?

Can't wait to see what the game is like.

"I can't make the game."

Why?

What? You want to quit?

"I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Oh, Ray, don't say "lover."

He said it!

I understand you got hurt and it was scary, but this is what you wanted.

Jimmy, leave him alone. He's been disfigured.

On a scale from 1 to 10, he's down to a 13.

But you don't give up, right?

Am I the only one who sees this?

You are not quitting.

I saw something you didn't.

How... happy you were out there.

I've never seen you like that.

"But I broke my face.

You were right."

Hey, you got hurt, but not because you have cerebral palsy.

You got hurt because you were playing hockey.

I don't know much about sports.

But I know a thing or two about movies about sports, and in them, somebody always stands up and starts yelling about digging deep and drunk dads and this town needs something to cheer for now that the factory's gone.

Imagine that's all true.

Ooh, this is good.

You don't like people clapping and letting you win?

No one is giving you anything out there.

It's yours to grab.

Take it.

You're in?

Yeah.

Ooh, I'm in, too, now! I love it!

Feels like a good time to tell you that we actually lost our dental insurance.

[Knock on door]

Hello, Kenneth.

I'm not taking another job, so you don't have to pretend to be nice.

Just follow me, would you?

I'll follow you, but I'm gonna need to see your hands the whole way.

Well, I've got something to show you.

Uh, o-open that.

It's empty.

Good one?

It's for you... To hold your things, for when you shower here.

But it bothers you when I shower here.

It does.

But I realized you've earned a certain amount of bothering me.

Wow, that's... actually pretty nice.

And not in a fake way.

This, uh, works.

I may not like everything you do.

I certainly did not need to see you naked.

But it's far better to see you naked than to not see you at all.

I'm starting to like you, too.

Look at you two.

[Gasps]

You have come so far.

Please hand me a towel and leave.

It is not your turn for the towel, Ray.

It's right there!

[Cheering]

Kenneth: Let's go, DiMeo!

These guys are really good.

Yeah, but he's out there doing it.

Go, JJ!

Come on, JJ!

Did you use my deodorant?

I'm not gonna lie. I-I did.

It's nice, isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, come on, ref! You gonna call that?!

Oh, the ref isn't disabled, is he?

No.

Die, ref!

Hey, how amazing is this?

Doing a sport with my son!

Mm, mm.

Do the sport.

Oh, God.

Let's go. Whoo!

[Whistles]

Kenneth: Let's go!

Come on, Jimmy!

Man: JJ, look behind you!

They're coming, man! They're coming!

JJ, they're coming!

[Cheering]

Hey, Dylan. We need to talk.

Yesterday in the shower, I was moved by a gesture Mom made for Kenneth.

That sounds like primo journal stuff.

Take a look at this.

You deserve some space, too.

We'll take turns.

You get Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons, but every other weekend we switch off.

Every third Thursday of the month is mine, and every second Sunday of the month is yours.

You did this all today?

I drew this up years ago in case Mom and Dad ever got a divorce.

It converted perfectly.

Thanks, Ray.

Want to go in there together one last time?

I'd like that.

This was a weird idea.

Let's go.