01x08 - Pilgrim Rick

Episode transcripts for the TV show "This Is Us". Aired: September 2016 to present.*
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01x08 - Pilgrim Rick

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "This Is Us"...

Toby.

Kate.

I can't fall for a fat person right now.

It's always gonna be about the weight for me, Toby.

I'm done dieting, okay?

Wait.

William: I wonder if I could check on him from time to time.

No.

Hey, Mom! Hey, Miguel.

I'm Rebecca. I'm Randall's mother.

Very nice to meet you.

Uh, nice to meet you as well.

Beth: It's in the book of poems that Randall's had since he was a baby.

The one I gave Rebecca back in the day.

Beth: Rebecca, this is Beth. Yeah, um, so William just told me something really interesting.

About the two of you.

♪ ♪

(stove clicking)

♪ Summer was gone ♪
♪ And the heat d*ed down ♪
♪ And autumn reached for her golden crown ♪
♪ I looked behind as I heard a sigh ♪
♪ But this was ♪
♪ The time of no reply ♪
♪ ♪

Randall: You will never defeat Shredder.

Get away, Shredder.

Boys.

I just ironed those shirts.

No roughhousing until we get to Grandma and Grandpa's.

And no roughhousing when we get to Grandma and Grandpa's, either.

I want you to just sit there quietly, okay? Maybe mention what a good mom I am if it comes up naturally in conversation.

Kate: I hate this stupid sweater. It's so itchy.

I know, baby doll, but Grandma knit it just for you.

She didn't do a really good job.

Randall: I hate going to Grandma and Grandpa's.

Whenever we take pictures, they always say, "Okay, okay, now one with just the twins."

I will talk to them about that. Again.

Jack: Okay, get excited, people. Annual Thanksgiving road trip.

I've got snacks.

I got Cool Ranch.

I've got Paul Simon.

Now everyone, go pee.

We already peed.

Go pee again, six-hour road trip, come on.

Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

But... but we already went.

Don't get anything on your chinos, please.

Do you hear me? They inherited your aim, Jack.

(laughs) Hey, cranberry looks great.

I know. Great is not good enough, it has to be perfect.

Because my sister's sweet potato pie is gonna be perfect, and I can't stand to hear my mother's passive-aggressive BS if my sauce is not absolutely perfect.

Perfect. Babe, it is perfect.

It is, it's perfect. Or, as your mother would say, "Becky, it's to die for." (gasps)

Can I have the nutmeg, please?

Oh. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I know this is not a fun way to spend the holiday.

Not fun? Are you kidding me?

Listening to your sister's husband brag about his expensive CD player for three hours is the definition of fun.

So, always thought that, when my folks die, we get to do our own thing, you know?

Make up our own stupid traditions with the kids.

That's because you're a very, very naive man.

Yeah? Thank you.

(boys yelling, Rebecca screams)

Jack: Oh!

Oops.

Okay, okay.

Boys, change, change, change.

Sorry.

Step over this and change.

Randall: Sorry.

Woman: For me it's cranberry sauce.

Sweet potatoes with marshmallow crust.

Bacon wrapped dates.

Jell-O with the little pieces of fruit floating on the inside and then whipped cream on top.

Oh!

My weakness is stuffing.

Mm.

I could eat a whole bowl of it, but this is my first Thanksgiving since my gastric bypass surgery, so my stomach's now the size of a walnut.

Which means if I overdo it, I'll be holed up in the bathroom vomiting my guts out, while everybody else is watching football. (laughs)

But, hey, I've lost 30 pounds now so far.

So, worth it.

Right?

Group Leader: Yes, yes it is.

Now, for everybody else, Thanksgiving is full of triggers.

So we have to stay vigilant.

But I know you guys can do it.

(clapping)

(mouth full): This is great.

Mm.

So, Thanksgiving in New York.

It's gonna be great. The Big Apple.

I hope your mom likes me.

Toby...

You know, what am I worried about?

Parents love me, I'll tell them the story about the time I met Streisand. Parents love Streisand.

(inhales deeply)

I don't think that you should come with me to New York.

(laughs)

What? Why? Why not?

Because I think we should take a break.

A... a break?

Mm-hmm.

Why?

Because I've been dreading this date.

Because I knew that you would eat that and I would eat this.

And because ever since you stopped dieting, I have felt weak.

Oh, no, I was weak.

The other night I stuffed my face full of powdered donuts, and then I cried myself to sleep.

Yup.

And, listen, if you don't want to lose weight, that's fine because that's your choice.

(voice breaking): But I told...

(clears throat)

I told you that when I met you, that I couldn't fall for a fat person.

But you did.

You fell-you fell for me.

So now what?

You're just gonna throw me away?

I used to watch romantic comedies where... the perfect, charming, Hugh-Grant-guy would bend over backwards for the woman that he loves.

And I... would think, "If I could have that, that I would be happy."

And then I met you.

(inhales deeply)

And you were better than them.

You were better than my wildest dreams. (chuckles)

Um... (clears throat, then sniffs) But I'm still not happy, Toby.

Um, and it's not just about my weight.

It's... it's just... I've got to get a handle on myself, on the weight and on all of it.

And I, um...

God, I-I need that more than anything right now, and I want it.

I want it more than anything right now.

(inhales deeply)

(clears throat)

Even more than me?

♪ ♪

(sniffs)

(exhales slowly)

Well, it sounds like you've made up your mind, so...

(crying and sniffling)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. We're back Monday at 10:00.

Uh, Olivia, I'm guessing you probably don't celebrate Thanksgiving, right?

My mum's American.

I am definitely not getting together with relatives I hate so we can gorge ourselves on dry bird, while pretending that we'd ever have anything to do with each other if we weren't related by blood.

Wow. So what are you gonna do then?

I shall be going to my favorite dive bar in Sunset Park where they'll be playing Rocky II.

Because they're always playing Rocky II, and I shall watch Rocky II with my favorite borderline senile bartender, Benny, whilst drinking three to five bourbons.

Have a good break, Kevin.

You should celebrate Thanksgiving with me and my family, if you, you know, if you want.

Kevin.

I'm not spending Thanksgiving in New Jersey meeting the walking slices of Wonder Bread responsible for... this.

Okay, Wonder Bread. Wow, all right, you are way off, sister.

My family is, uh, we're like whatever the most interesting kind of bread would be... You know, we're like multigrain bread.

Except we're not that healthy. We're like, uh... we would be ciabatta bread.

That's what we are. Check this out.

My mother is, uh, married to my dead dad's best friend.

I have a twin sister who is seriously overweight.

And I have an adopted black brother who just recently reconnected with his biological father who is dying.

Now, don't you want to see that up close, huh?

I mean, come on, you're the one always saying that the more time we spend together in our personal lives, the more it's gonna look like we're married on stage, right?

So, there's that.

Plus Rocky II is not the best Rocky... movie, is it?

So...

Fine.

Pick me up at noon tomorrow.

Just like that... Oh, hey, um, you know, if we want to b*at traffic...

Noon.

We'll do noon.

♪ ♪

(alarm beeps, then plays "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon)

(delighted grunts)

(moans softly)

Wake up, baby.

Mm?

It's turkey day.

Mm-hmm.

What, it's too early, babe.

Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes.

(both groan)

Wake up!

♪ Why am I soft in the middle ♪
♪ The rest of my life is so hard ♪
♪ I need a photo opportunity ♪
♪ I want a sh*t at redemption ♪

Wake up, my darlings!

Hey.

Thanksgiving prep starts in nine minutes.

Kitchen! Let's go!

♪ Dogs in the moonlight ♪
♪ Far away ♪

Hey. Wake up, old man. It's Thanksgiving.

Meet me in the kitchen in eight minutes, come on.

Okay, okay, okay.

(groans)

♪ If you'll be my bodyguard ♪
♪ I can be your long... ♪

Wake up, Kevin!

Oh! Oh, my God!

Report to kitchen in T-minus seven minutes.

Come on.

(Randall humming)

Yeah, no, it's good because it's time to get up anyway.

♪ You can call me Al ♪
♪ If you'll be my bodyguard ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I can call you Betty ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪

Hey, finally, some help.

You're on potato duty.

Oh, nice.

What, is that your potato mashing jacket?

(chuckles) Uh, sorry I can't help you.

I got to pick up Olivia. I need the keys.

(sighs) It's hanging up on the wall, man, right there.

So, when do, uh, Mom and Miguel get here? Mom and Miguel get here any minute.

He's our stepdad, not !sis.

Oh.

Hey, don't forget you're in charge of picking up the hot dogs.

I have hot dogs, Kraft singles and the saltines.

Yeah.

It's not my first Pearson Thanksgiving.

(in British accent): Excited to meet your girlfriend.

Okay, Olivia's not my girlfriend, okay...

Okay.

...and you're gonna be cool.

Randall, look it, eye contact, please.

You're gonna be cool, right?

Oh, baby, I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow. You feel me?

Yeah. Yeah, here's the thing. You're not allowed to talk to her.

Cause she'll want me?

She'll want me so bad.

Thanksgiving Dad is a hot dad.

Jesus.

Watch it.

Ah.

See you in a minute.

All right.

Hey! There's my turkey team.

Little turkey, medium turkey, you guys go up to the attic and bring down the Thanksgiving picnic blankets, please.

Okay.

On it!

All right.

Big...

You call me big turkey... beautiful, brown eyes.

Mm-hmm, better.

Would you be so kind as to hook up the VCR so we can watch the movie later, please?

Yes, give me a minute.

Okay.

VCR?

Even I'm too young to use a VCR.

Hey, Pearson Thanksgiving is a whole thing, all right? You'll see.

All right.

Hey, William, you know your way around a yam?

Of course.

Let me at them yams.

Thank God.

(groans)

(coughs)

Whoa, whoa.

You okay?

William: Oh, I'm fine.

Just dying. (laughs)

You know what?

(groans)

On second thought...

No, I could do it.

I could... today you are on relaxation duty.

Randall, I can get the potatoes.

It's all good.

We will take care of everything.

You sure?

I'm positive. It's all good.

All right.

Man, I am pumped.

My mom and biological father eating at the same table?

How great is this?!

Beth?

Huh?

Isn't this great?

Mm-hmm.

(doorbell rings)

Okay, let me get that. Be right back.

Okay.

What's with her?

I have no idea.

Huh.

Hey, guys!

Hey.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

It already smells so good in here.

It does.

Oh, these look so good.

You want to put these in the kitchen for us?

Absolutely. On my way.

Good.

I know you've been avoiding my calls.

No, that's silly, I've just been busy.

Rebecca, I don't know how things work in your marriage, okay?

I don't know.

But in mine, we don't keep secrets.

And for the past three days, I've had to hold onto a whopper.

You and William have known each other for Randall's entire life and you kept that from him?

I know. I'm gonna tell him at some point.

No, I need you to tell him today.

I'm not... I'm not telling him today.

Not on Thanksgiving.

Beth...

I will do it in my own time.

You have had enough time.

I need you to find the time to do it before you leave this house tonight... or I will.

Randall: There she is.

Hey, Mom.

Hey.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, my love.

(chuckles) Wel... good to see you.

I'm sorry, I've been cooking.

No.

Don't want to get anything on you. I got to go finish.

Just got to keep going.

No, no, I'm here to help chop.

Randall: I'll take it off. Thank you very much.

♪ If you'll be my bodyguard ♪
♪ I can be your long lost pal... ♪

How is it already 4:00?

Well, we spent the last two hours grocery store hopping, searching for the perfect cranberry sauce... which we found.

So, obviously worth it.

This sweater's so itchy.

Get your elbow out of my face!

You know what? No talking, just listen to Graceland.

We've already listened to Graceland like five times.

Yeah. We get it, Dad. We can call him Al.

Oh!

(screams)

Oh!

Are you okay?

Everyone okay?

Yeah.

Rebecca: Breathe, breathe, breathe.

(Rebecca whooshes)

We're okay.

It's okay.

Newsman: Welcome back to the parade...

Look at that. Ooh.

51 degrees in New York City.

Rebecca: So, how are things with the new assistant working out?

Uh, Kelsey?

Yeah.

Right?

Uh, not great.

She's been adding little one-liners to her e-mail signature.

Monday's was, "If the glass is half-empty, add tequila."

She sounds fun.

Yeah, she sent that to the president of Chase Bank.

Hey, sweetheart, um...

Hmm?

We should find some time to try and talk today.

Kevin: Hello, hello.

That's Kevin and his date.

Kevin: Girls?

Let's go say hi. To be continued.

Annie: Hey, Uncle Kevin.

Kevin: How are you?

Good.

Good to see you, all right.

Got my keys?

Yup.

Thank you. Hey, how you doing?

Mom.

Hello, sweetheart.

How are you?

Happy Thanksgiving.

Kevin: Happy Thanksgiving, good to see you.

It's good to see you.

Miguel: Hey.

Miguel.

Kevin.

Yep.

How's, uh, the play going?

Having fun at rehearsals?

Fun? (chuckles)

No, Miguel, I'm not having any fun. It's emotionally brutal work.

But thank you for asking.

Kevin.

Okay. Look, uh, this is, oh, Olivia.

Hi... Hello.

Kevin: Yeah.

You're pretty.

Thank you.

You look like Katy Perry.

Uh, this is Tess and Annie and you've met my brother, Randall.

The adopted one.

Yeah.

(Kevin clears throat)
Hi, Olivia. I'm Rebecca.

Hi.

Randall and Kevin's mother. Really glad you could join us for Thanksgiving.

Well, thank you so much for having me.

I mean, I hate Thanksgiving, but still.

You're very welcome.

Randall: Everyone, uh, get our shoes on.

Good idea.

Time to get our hike on. Hey, uh, Beth, William, let's go.

Well, we don't do the hike, do we?

Oh, absolutely. Pearson Family tradition.

You're gonna love it. (laughs)

You're gonna love it.

You're not. You're not gon... You're gonna, you're gonna tolerate it.

What's exciting, The guy doing the sets won a Tony.

Rebecca: Really?

Kevin: Yeah.

Rebecca: That is so great.

Right?

What is the, uh, the name of the play again?

(scoffs)

What? Are you serious?

The Back of an Egg.

Back of an Egg.

Yeah, Mom, I told you like eight times.

I know, I know, I'm sorry. I just, uh...

Grandma and Grandpa, Tess found a dead bird.

Oh, don't touch it. Here, show me where.

Come see!

Okay, come show it to me.

So, your parents, they don't mind you skipping Thanksgiving?

No.

Really?

My mom used to make very elaborate Thanksgivings.

She'd even make three kinds of pie.

The right kind of pie could save us from our miserable selves.

Then, inevitably, Dad's beeper would go off, and he'd pretend it was the hospital, even though we all knew he was banging some nurse.

And Mom would get sad... and drunk and angry.

You know, the funny thing is, we had all those pies and I don't think we ever once made it to dessert.

It pissed me off 'cause I really like pie.

No, no. Relax, relax.

Have a seat.

All right.

(groans)

You know, I can go get the car.

No, no, no, no, no. Just give me a minute.

Okay.

Hey, what'd you used to do for Thanksgiving?

Oh, I'd spend it with my sober friends.

Cats I met in the meetings.

Mmm.

A lot of 'em are musicians.

Most of us didn't have family.

None we were on speaking terms with, anyway.

So we'd have a big potluck.

Everyone would bring their instruments, and we'd jam all night.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Otis Redding, Muddy Waters, you name it.

One of the guys had an old tape player.

He would record us for posterity.

Hmm. I was too sick to attend last year's, so...

I started a whole new Thanksgiving tradition.

I'd listen to those tapes, and eat an entire Marie Callender's "pee-can" pie.

(both laughing)

Or "puh-kahn" pie.

Oh, man, I wish I would have packed those tapes.

Oh, well.

(sighs)

How long did you say this hike was?

Exactly 3.4 miles.

Rebecca: Jack, it's gonna get dark soon.

What do we do now?

(exhales)

Now we walk.

Kate: What?

Guys.

Come on. It'll be like a fun little hike.

Mom.

(groaning)

Hey, Randall.

They're finally letting us on the plane, four hours later.

Um, so I'm gonna miss the movie.

But I should make it in time for dinner.

It's just gonna be me.

I'll explain later.

Okay, bye.

Don't worry, I bought both these seats.

(slight laugh)

Here's your seat belt extender.

Let's get you strapped in.

Oh, I-I got it.

Thank you.

You welcome.

Pilot: Hi, folks, this your captain speaking.

We've got a bit of a wait ahead of us, as we are 12th in line for takeoff.

Rebecca: How are we not there yet?

I feel like we've been walking for days.

Kevin: What was that sound?

Oh, that's probably just an animal in the woods.

What?

Seriously?

There are animals in the woods?

Rebecca: Okay, okay, guys, I have an idea.

Why don't we play a game?

Called The Thanksgiving Game?

Jack: Great idea.

Everyone is going to tell us what their Thanksgiving is gonna be like when they grow up.

Kev, you start.

Easy.

I'm gonna be a quarterback for the Steelers.

I'll play a big game on Thanksgiving, then go home and eat an entire turkey.

All right, you've given that some real thought.

Rebecca: Randall, what about you, bud, what are you gonna do?

I'm not gonna celebrate Thanksgiving.

Why not?

When you're a grown up, you don't have to do stuff you hate.

Kevin: I didn't know no Thanksgiving was an option.

I'm not doing it either.

Me, neither.

I hate Thanksgiving.

You guys, come on.

Grandma and Grandpa aren't that bad.

What?

It's not just them.

It's you.

You're always mean when we're at their house and... you always have this weird... and high voice.

Jack: Okay.

Okay. Don't listen to 'em.

Kids are delusional from the cold.

Keep walking.

Randall: The cold?

Zip it, you.

Come on, don't listen to 'em.

Come on.

(door opens)

Okay, everybody get cider, movie starts in ten.

Okay. Jackets off, girls.

Hey, um, I'm gonna run to William's apartment real quick.

What No, I know, I know. But I'll be back before the movie's over.

You got to keep an eye on the turkey.

No. I mean, why are you...?

Look, he's... he's got these tapes of him and his friends playing music, and listening to them is kind of his Thanksgiving thing.

You're gonna drive two hours to go pick up some tapes?

I think...

That's a little extreme. this may be his last Thanksgiving, Beth.

Yeah, so that's why you need to get your ass on the road.

Hurry up.

Thank you.

Daddy, is it time to start the movie?

Yep. You guys watch it without me. Uh, Daddy's got to run a quick errand.

Oh, but you, uh, you love Police Academy III.

I know. That Steve Guttenberg gets me every time.

Why don't I come with you and keep you company?

And miss the movie? That's your favorite Thanksgiving tradition.

No, ma'am. I'll be fine. Oh, um, Kate got a new flight.

She'll be here just in time for dinner.

She's not bringing the boyfriend. Sounds like drama.

Don't know what happened. All right. Bye. See you.

I'll see you soon, William.

(door opens)

Rebecca: I will go get you some cider.

(door closes)

Miguel: Thank you, honey.

Hey.

Hey.

So, I, uh...

I know that you and Thanksgiving have a... somewhat of a spotty past, but, um... I wanted you to know that no matter what happens this year, you're gonna make it to the pie.

(Police Academy music playing)

Miguel: Hey, Kevin.

Yeah...

Hey.

Uh...

I was just kind of wondering if... maybe this year, I could wear the hat?

Oh, you want to wear the hat?

Yeah, I do.

Every year we do your family's traditions, which is fine. I-I enjoy them.

But I think it would be nice if just once I got to wear the hat for Tess and Annie.

Well, uh, gee.

(grunts) Miguel, that's not gonna happen.

See, my... my dad wore the hat.

And now Randall and I wear the hat. We take turns wearing the hat. This year it's my turn to wear the hat. So... you know, no dice.

Okay.

Can you believe that guy? Wants to wear the hat. I wear the hat and Randall wears the hat. That's how we do it.

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

Can't do what?

I can't be who you want me to be.

I should... I should go.

(door closes)

What? Hold on. Wait a minute.

Please, don't try to stop me.

And please stop trying to see something in me that isn't there.

Olivia...

Hey, I see something.

What?

Jack: There it is.

Randall: Oh, yes!

Kevin: Oh, yeah!

Come on.

Thank you!

Are they gonna get us a tow truck in there?

Yes, baby, because it's a Thanksgiving miracle!

Rebecca: Come on.

Kate: Yay!

Jack: Come on.

Yeah. I can't get you a tow truck tonight.

Why not?

Because it's Thanksgiving. Everything's closed.

If I were you, I'd just call someone to pick you up and deal with the car in the morning.

Okay. Why don't you get the kids some snacks to tide them over, and I will go call my parents.

Jack: Go sit in the booth. Come on. Sit down.

(exhales)

Could we get... those hot dogs to go?

(phone rings)

Hi, Mom. It's me.

Yeah, I know what time it is. I'm sorry. We had a tire blow out.

Yeah. Everybody's okay. We're fine. We're okay.

I didn't call you sooner because I couldn't call you sooner.

That's why I'm calling you now.

I know how hard you work to prepare dinner, Mom.

Do you really think that we wanted to drive through a fence?

Can you just have Dad come and...

(sighs)

No.

No, no, no, no, no. I am not gonna subject my kids to that this year.

So... we're not coming.

We're not coming anymore.

Sorry.

Hmm.

Okay.

So, what's the new plan?

(sighs)

Uh, I guess we're having Thanksgiving at the Pinewood Lodge. Pinewood Lodge.

I love it. I love it.

I love it.

I can't believe I just did that.

I really did that.

We'll worry about it later. You did.

Jack: Let's get the kids.

I just came out for some air.

I'm waiting for my Uber.

I don't know what that is.

How does it feel to be dying?

It feels... like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and...

I'm trying to catch them.

When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap, I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me.

And when I make my son laugh, I try to catch the sound of him laughing.

How it rolls up from his chest.

But the pieces are moving faster now, and I can't catch them all.

I can feel them slipping through my fingertips.

And soon where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be... nothing.

(quietly): Oh.

I know it feels like you have all the time in the world.

But you don't.

So, stop playing it so cool.

Catch the moments of your life.

Catch them while you're young and quick.

Because sooner than you know it, you'll be old.

And slow.

And there'll be no more of them to catch.

And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you.

♪ ♪

(wind whistling)

(pops top)

Thank you for the pie.

(chuckling)

Such a good movie.

By far the best Police Academy.

(tires screeching on TV)

(woman shrieks on TV)

Woman on TV: Go get it!

Hi.

The name's Pilgrim Rick.

I take it you come in search of lodging.

You're doing a bit. You're doing a bit...

Uh, yeah.

We're... we're in search of lodging.

I needed a warm bed, too, when I finally made my way off the Mayflower.

Do you know about the Mayflower, little kiddies?

Rebecca: Uh, yep. They do know all about the Mayflower.

Uh, we'll just... we'll take your finest room, Rick.

Pilgrim Rick.

(crickets chirping, owl hooting)

Be careful.

Oh.

(children groaning)

Yeah, I got it, I got it.

Is that real?

No, of course not.

Why is it so hot in here?

Because the furnace is on high.

The furnace is stuck on high, Jack.

Mom, can we take off our dress clothes, please?

Yes, yes, everybody can strip down.

Yes.

Hey, who, uh... who wants one of the most delicious gas station hot dogs in the whole wide Connecticut woods, huh?

That's cold. Can't eat those.

Or how 'bout instead some, uh, Kraft Singles? Saltines? Yeah?

Is this really what we're gonna have for Thanksgiving dinner?

This TV has zero channels.

I should have had my dad come to get us.

Hey, you know what? Um, get the kids settled.

I'm gonna talk to Pilgrim Rick, uh, about, uh... about the furnace. I'll... I'll be right back.

Guys, really, I can't interest you in cheese and crackers?

Children: No.

(chuckling)

(humming softly)

Hey.

There we go.

(humming)

(screaming)

(screaming continues)

(screaming)

(anxious chatter)

(intercom dings) Pilot: Sorry about that folks.

Just some very fast moving cold front.

Nothing to worry about. But please, remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened.

(chuckles) Sorry, I thought I was gonna die.

(exhales) Me, too.

I almost d*ed married to a man who's obviously cheating on me.

My kids are out of the house now.

I have no reason to stay with him anymore.

I'm gonna get a divorce.

Life's too short.

(knocking)

Oh, that must be your dad.

Kate: Dad has a key.

Uh, who is it?

It's Pilgrim Rick!

Um, Pilgrim Rick, we're...

We're okay, actually.

I'm here to fix the furnace!

Yeah, we're fine, Pilgrim Rick.

I'm coming in!

(doorknob rattling)

(gasping)

Jack!

(laughing)

There's no Jack here, it's Pilgrim Rick.

(Kate laughing)

Do you kiddies know about the Mayflower?

(laughing)

Huh? Huh?

What if I told you a little Thanksgiving story?

How about a kiss for an old Pilgrim?

No... (shrieking)

No, no, no, no, no, mmm...

Mwah!

(all laughing)

Tonight, on the itinerary... of the Pinewood Lodge, a movie... and an indoor picnic.

Kate: Yes!

Ooh.

(laughing)

Get the pillows!

I found it in the office.

Police Academy III?

Yeah.

You sure that's appropriate?

Ah, it was either that or 9 1/2 Weeks.

(gasps)

So...

Police Academy III, guys! Yeah.

So, we are going to... skewer our hotdogs and then... we're gonna roast 'em... on an open furnace flame.

And then once they get all toasty and warm, we're gonna wrap it in cheese and then roll it in crushed up crackers.

Thanksgiving cheese dogs.

Cool.

Get a stick, come on.

All right, go.

Yes!

I want a stick.

Here you go, Pilgrim Rick.

(chuckling) Thanks, buddy.

Okay, who's up first?

Me.

And that's the kind of dog you guys want?

Oh, come on, guys.

Somebody call for Pilgrim Rick?

I'm sorry I'm late but, uh, I had to make a little pit stop at the Mayflower. Turns out Pilgrim Rick is lactose intolerant. Well, anyway, I'm here now and I'm looking for a couple of young little pilgrims... to... help me out with the, uh... uh, well the truth is, I am... I'm actually not Pilgrim Rick.

I'm Pilgrim Kevin. Uncle Kevin, really.

Um... probably hard for you to tell, though.

My acting has become so stellar, all this stage acting.

Um, don't be sad though, the-the real Pilgrim Rick is...

Is right behind you.

Come on.

Uh, are you sure?

Have fun.

Pilgrim Rick!

Yay!

It's me, Pilgrim Rick!

(door opens)

You kiddies know about the Mayflower?

Let Pilgrim Rick tell you a Thanksgiving story.

In 1620...

Find what you needed?

Yeah.

All right.

Good. Uh, where's Kate?

She, uh... texted, she'll... She'll be here soon.

Okay.

Everybody's starving, you want to get started?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Hey, Pilgrim Rick. Can you lead us into the dining room?

It's time for dinner.

Miguel: Absolutely.

Everybody, let's go put on a feast.

(Beth laughing)

What else can I help with?

(speaks quietly) Okay.

All right.

♪ Hello, hello again ♪
♪ Just another old friend ♪
♪ Callin' out ♪
♪ 'Cause goin' south is out of the question ♪
♪ The bottle in the back seat ♪
♪ Can anybody hear me? ♪
♪ Heart is drummin' ♪
♪ Life keeps comin' ♪
♪ Like one, two, three ♪

Shall we start with the yarn?

Here, you do the honors.

Thank you.

(theme music playing)

This is probably the greatest movie ever made.

Yeah?

This sweater's so itchy.

Here, let me have it.

I have, uh...

I have an idea for one more Thanksgiving tradition before we go to bed. Come here.

What is it?

So we're all gonna go around and say what we're thankful for.

And then whoever's turn it is, is going to pull on this yarn and then throw it to the next person.

(laughing)

Okay.

I am thankful... for my family.

I'm thankful that we're all safe.

And... there's no one in the world I'd rather be too hot or too cold with.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful that everyone's safe.

And there is no one in the whole world I'd rather be too hot or too cold with.

Grandma always says the same thing.

(chuckling)

Yeah, she does, doesn't she?

Is everything all right, baby?

Um... you girls should go upstairs and play in Tess's room for a little while.

But...

Come on.

Why is there a photo of me and a letter that you sent to William's apartment?

(exhales slowly)

Randall...

No, you know what?

Don't... don't speak. Please, don't just... um...

I went to William's apartment to get his old Thanksgiving tapes.

I was about to go and I saw this envelope.

I said, I know that handwriting.

That's my mother's handwriting, but how-how could that be?

That... it doesn't make sense, right?

(paper rustling)

So...

I, uh...

"Dear William, I'm sorry I had to leave in such a hurry.

But it was wonderful to see you looking so well after all these years."

After all these years.

(sighs)

Randall, you have to understand...

Understand what? That you knew my father?

That you kept him from me my entire life?

Everything that I...

Just stop... Just stop!

Please, stop.

I can't... I can't even look at you.

(sniffles)

And all the times I asked you about my family.

And if I hadn't found him on my own, I'd....

I got to go.

Beth: Wait.

(sniffles)

Just wait a second, honey.

Please, babe.

I just gotta get some time alone.

Excuse me.

Hey...

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm so late.

I have an announcement.

I've decided to have gastric bypass surgery.

Your family is amazing.

Randall: Mom?

Yeah, baby.

I changed my mind.

I want to have Thanksgiving when I grow up.

You do?

Yeah.

I know how I want it to be.

How?

Like tonight.

I want every Thanksgiving to be like this for the rest of my life.

Mm.
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