06x03 - Four Fathers

[bunniefuu]

Previously on This Is Us...

You and Tiffany
staying in studying right?

'Cause I'm keeping close contact.

You got my number, Commander.

What awaits you in Boston?

DEJA: My boyfriend.

They want to reboot The Manny, Kevin.

You'd play the dad.
You get to raise your family

in Los Angeles
and become a zillionaire.

You know, people said I was crazy,

me living in your garage
just to stay close to the twins.

It's possible they had a point.

I hate that I'm doing this
over FaceTime, but I miss you.

I miss you, too.

(CHUCKLES)

Are you aware that Kevin
is in our guest room?

I'm taking The Manny reboot.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,

- Jack Damon.
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

("SERENITY NOW"
BY BRETT DENNEN PLAYING)

♪ Serenity now ♪

♪ I'm leaving, I believe... ♪

I can feel your concern.

Blind guy, hot smoker.

I assure you, I have done this
hundreds of times,

- and I still have both my eyebrows.
- (CHUCKLING)

Wait, do I still have both of them?

So far, so good.

♪ I live on a boat ♪

♪ I seldom sail ♪

♪ I'm a captain with no crew ♪

♪ A man ♪

♪ Collecting moments as they ♪

♪ Come... ♪

You okay?

(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah.

I know it sounds crazy,
but every once in a while,

that smell hits me and...
takes me right back to that day.

I know.

TOBY: Don't-don't
get too close, buddy.

No. No, no, no.

KATE: Jack!

LUCY: Jack?

I'm good.

- Mm-hmm.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

- Hell of a first memory, huh?
- Yeah.

(CLEARS THROAT) Hope you're hungry.

- Made enough for a small army.
- (CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) Oh, God...
I missed them again.

- I'm sorry.
- (GROANS)

I tried to keep them up as long
as I could, but they were wiped.

They're not gonna remember who I am.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Nobody forgets that face.

Look, you could cover it with
as much facial hair as you want.

It doesn't even matter.

How did I become that dad?

Like, the guy who leaves
before breakfast

and gets home after dinner.

My dad worked a lot. I still love him.

Yeah, comparing me
to your father doesn't help.

How would you like it
if I compared you to my mom?

Oh, okay. Point taken.

Babe, why don't you...

I don't know, why don't you carve out

some time for them this weekend

and give them
the full Jack experience?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, you already thought
of the Jack experience?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, go ahead.

You know that new mall
they just built?

The one with the indoor movie theater?

(GASPS) Oh, their first
movie on a big screen.

It's perfect.

They're gonna love it.
You're gonna have so much fun.

Y-You're not gonna come?

An entire Saturday
with three squirming kids

all hopped up on sugar?

- Don't count on it, babe.
- (PATS LEG)

TOBY: All right.

Off to make the bacon.

T-minus four days
until I see you guys again.

- All right.
- All right.

- Well, we love you.
- We, uh, love you.

- We love you.
- Oh, my gosh, I love you, too.

- Love you.
- KATE: We'll miss you.

- (CRYING)
- Aw. Not today.

- KATE: I know.
- I'll be back. I'll be right back.

- KATE: Bye, Dad.
- JACK: Bye, Dad.

♪ It's not time to make a change ♪

♪ Just relax, take it easy ♪

♪ You're still young,
that's your fault ♪

♪ There's so much... ♪

Hey, buddy, let's just, uh,
let's kind of blow our kisses

and say our "I love you's..."
Hey-hey... oh.

Sorry, you know what?
He's melting down, sorry.

Yeah, but he didn't get
a chance to hear me say

that-that I love him.

♪ I am old, but I'm happy ♪

♪ I was once... ♪

Yeah, I couldn't g... I couldn't
get out of that dinner

tomorrow night, so hopefully it
won't go too late and I'll just

- hop on the first flight in the morning.
- Well, that's a bummer.

I was just hoping
that you would be here

to help me with the kids, you know?

By the end of the week I'm just fried.

Yeah, I'm doing the best I can, Kate.

I know.

And you're traveling back
and forth, and I...

Babe, we really appreciate it.

A dad's work is never done.

- (ALARM CHIMING)
- ♪ But your dreams may not ♪

♪ It's not time to make a change... ♪

- Good morning.
- KEVIN: Good morning.

Here you go, matcha
with monk fruit and nut milk,

- just like you like your nonsense.
- Come on in.

We'll fuel them up with the
breakfast of champions: yams.

- KEVIN: Good morning.
- Thank God you're here.

Double blowout.

Well, yams.

♪ Everything you've got... ♪

- Morning.
- Shh. We had a rough night.

They're already back asleep,
but you can go peek.

♪ But your dreams may not ♪

♪ How can I try to explain? ♪

♪ 'Cause when I do,
he turns away again ♪

♪ It's always been the same ♪

♪ Same old story... ♪

Sharing them should get easier, right?

I hope so.

♪ I was ordered to listen,
now there's a way ♪

♪ And I know that I have to go away ♪

♪ I know... ♪

Big day.

Me and my eldest out on the open road.

Coming to complete stops,
keeping it ten and two,

and she'll be trapped

next to her father
for at least an hour,

which means she will be forced
to connect with me.

Very sneaky.

- I approve.
- (EXHALES)

I knew that you would.

♪ It's not time to make a change ♪

♪ Just sit down, take it slowly... ♪

You ready?

♪ You're still young... ♪

All right.

- KATE: Let's eat.
- KEVIN: Look at this.

- Making progress over here.
- I know.

Good for you. That's amazing.

- Thank you.
- You know what's really exciting news?

Is Franny ate carrots last night.

I found that out because Madison
sent me a carrot emoji,

not because I was actually
there to witness it in person.

I know it's tough
not living with them,

but I'm really grateful
that you're here.

Honestly, I do not know
how I would be surviving

without all your help.

And maybe it's good
for you, too, right?

Keep you busy between
seeing the kids and work?

Yeah, yeah, no, it's good.
I'm-I'm good, though, I'm fine.

I'm... You don't have
to worry about me.

I'm going to my meetings, I'm...

You know, I'm thinking about
picking up a hobby, actually.

- Oh.
- Yeah, it was guitar

- or needlepoint. I can't figure out which...
- (DOOR OPENS)

TOBY: Lucys, I'm home.

- (GASPS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)

- Is that Daddy?
- Hi.

- Where are my munchkins? I need munchkin kisses.
- Hi.

- Mwah, mwah, mwah.
- Hi.

And some for you.

Mwah, mwah, mwah. And some for you.

Mwah, mwah, mwah. Uhp.

- No. Come on.
- Nah, I'm good.

Can we be brothers-in-law who kiss?

- I...
- Kate, don't get jealous.

- Fine. Fine, fine, fine.
- This is happening.

- Mwah, mwah, mwah.
- Okay.

All right, thank you...
That's a lot of beard.

Oh, gosh, you guys, blissful hours

until I have to listen to
the Southwest flight attendants

turn the safety protocol
into a parody song again.

Wait, you love that. That was, like,

your favorite part of the whole trip.

I know. I've gone dead inside.

Well, uh, let me help. Let me help.

I'll run to the store,
I'll grab something special,

uh, I'll come home, I'll cook
it up, we'll have dinner.

Oh, actually, Kev, um,
Toby and I have plans tonight.

And we already have a sitter,
so the kids are covered.

We're going to a recital at my school.

Yeah, they're doing
selections from The Lion King.

You know, if they do
"He Lives in You,"

I'm gonna lose it.

- (WHISPERS): I'm gonna lose it.
- Mm.

Oh, also, we're going to Menchie's.

- Oh, you're going to Menchie's?
- Yeah.

Ah, you guys really know how to party.

Uh, actually, we do.
We're gonna tornado

all the nonfat frozen yogurt flavors.

Okay, well, you go do that.
Don't worry about me.

- I've got to go to rehearsal.
- (GASPS)

Manny say what?

The reboot? How's it going?

It's a good distraction while
Madison and I sort of adjust.

Plus, I don't have to rip
my shirt off at every act break.

Which is why I'm gonna steal
some of Jack's French toast.

Thank you very much, Jack. All right.

- Bye, guys.
- Okay, now, here's the question.

How many kisses can I get in
in hours?

'Cause I think I can break the record.

Should I start with your hand? Ready?

One, two, three, four,
five, six, a million.

- KATE: So many kisses.
- Yeah, that's pretty fast, right?

Should I give you some on
your hand? Mwah, mwah, mwah...

Dad!

Guys, guys, hey, look, I
know we're all excited...

Come here, Kev, come on...
I know we're all excited,

but we're just gonna have
to wait our turn.

But what if they run out of candy?

They're not gonna
run out of candy, bud.

So, hey, look, let's just,
let's get some snacks

and then we'll go find our seats.

- Hi.
- Hey, can I help you?

Yeah, can I get, um,
three little popcorns,

some, uh, ooh, some Raisinets...
three of those.

And, uh, do you have coffee?

Sure do.

- Great, it's been a long week.
- KATE: Daddy?

- Yeah.
- Are you gonna live at work forever?

Uh, I don't live at work, Katie girl.

I live with you guys, remember?

My dad worked a lot.

I resented it at first,
but look at me now.

Mm. How much are those?

- CLERK: Eight dollars.
- Eight bucks. Great.

Eight bucks, okay, there's eight.

Got the coffee, got the
popcorns... Here we go, let's go,

let's go, come on, come on,
come on, we eat that inside,

we're gonna eat that inside.

...to the next setup.

SANDY: All right,
should we rehearse one?

Let's do it.

All right, now, on the day,
we'll have the real twins here...

Lord help us... but for now
we'll just use the jelly babies.

Oh...

Kevin, were those babies this
creepy when you were the Manny?

(CHUCKLES) Well, um,

you know, their eyes
were somehow even deader

and they always smelled
like roast beef, so yeah.

- (LAUGHS)
- SANDY: Okay, g*ng, um, why don't we

pick it up from the toast?

Taking it from the toast.

Um, okay, that's me.

- "Today was a good day."
- And action.

- Thank you.
- Yes.

Today was a good day.

Um, I'm lucky to have
all of you in my life.

My beautiful wife,
my amazing stepdaughter.

- Can I get my nose pierced?
- Not a chance.

My cute little babies
who are the twinkle in my eye.

And you.

g*ng, it's-it's moments
like this, right?

Just being together,
enjoying each other.

Nothing else matters.

You're my world. My life.

You make me whole.

(SANDY CLEARS THROAT)

Sorry. Yeah, um... Sorry about that.

"With you, I feel like
I can do anything."

And then I say,
"Drink up, little man."

And hopefully baby Archie will cheers,

knocking over his milk,
cuing the Manny to say...

I got that.

(GRUNTS)

That's why I always bring
an extra muscle tee to work.

You never know with this guy.

SANDY: Laugh, laugh, laugh,

and cut. Great.

Let's move over to the living room

and we'll rehearse scene .

(TYLER EXHALES)

I think that's gonna be
a really nice moment.

Oh. Uh, well, th...
Yeah, thanks. Hope so.

Hope so.

You okay?

Yeah, it's... You know,
I just, I feel weird

saying all that stuff
to these dolls, you know?

I-I...

I didn't get to spent any time
with my kids today.

Hey, um, some of us
are going out after rehearsal.

You should come.

Okay, there's four sides:
one, two, three.

- Good job.
- Okay, it's gift time.

(WHISPERS):
Babe, I just put Hailey down.

(WHISPERS): Okay, it's gift time.

(CHUCKLES)

You want to see what I got
for little Jack?

- Yeah.
- Okay, check this out.

It is a beeping football.

- You turn it on, and it makes a sound.
- (BEEPING)

We can roll it back and forth
to each other

and get our Eli Manning on.

I picked Eli because he's
the cutest Manning, obviously.

Listen, this is gonna wind him up,

and he has to go down
for his nap before : ,

especially if a sitter's
coming tonight.

But you can play, you know,
when he gets up, okay?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- And you really don't have to come

- bearing gifts every time.
- Okay, all right.

I guess, uh, I guess you don't
want your present, then?

- Oh, no, I want my present.
- Oh, you...

- Oh, you do. Okay, okay.
- I do. I didn't know I was getting one.

Um, I know how
you're always so annoyed

about losing the remote control.

So I picked this up in Chinatown

so you'll always know where it is.

Oh. That's sweet.

It's beautiful. Thank you.

And I've always wanted.

(LAUGHS) Open it.

Okay.

Babe.

(LAUGHS): What?

Oh...

- Um...
- Open the purse.

The purse is for you to carry tonight.

And the gift card is for you
to get your hair blown up.

- (LAUGHS) Blown...
- Blown-blown down.

(CHUCKLES) Uh, blown out.

While I watch the kids.

My Zoom call got canceled,
so you go do you.

Go get your hair done.

Go get your hair done.

- KATE: Okay.
- TOBY: Yeah, listen to the man.

- JACK: Okay.
- Okay, I'll see you boys soon.

- Thanks, babe.
- TOBY: Oh, you got it.

- You got it.
- TOBY: Yeah. Say, "Bye-bye, Mama."

Bye-bye, Mama.

KATE: Bye, Sweet Pea.

Oh, babe, do you need me
to go over the schedules?

'Cause they change constantly.

And he has to be down
for his nap by : .

Kate, they're my kids, too.

All right? And I think,
if you'll recall,

I was a pretty good
stay-at-home dad myself there

for a while.

So I think I can watch them
for an hour.

Okay.

Thanks, babe.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

- Thank you.
- Say, "I love you, Mama."

- KATE: Bye, boys.
- JACK: Love you.

RANDALL: Okay, Deja.

Welcome to the Randall Pearson
School of Driving.

I'll be your instructor
Randall Pearson.

Allow me to put on
some background music

as I talk you through
some of the safety features

of the vehicle.

Okay, I can't do this

if we're gonna listen
to your old man music.

Oh! "Old man music"?

That... that's hurtful.

- Mm-hmm. To my ears.
- (LAUGHS)

("STANDING AT YOUR DOORSTEP"
BY ALICIA WALTER PLAYING)

It's good speed.

Make sure you keep that distance

between you and the car
in front of you.

- Got it. Thanks.
- You're doing great, Dej.

♪ But, baby, it's true... ♪

Glad we finally found time to do this.

Haven't had a lot of time
to talk lately.

So, how's school going?

Uh, fine.

- You know Ms. McNamara?
- Your chemistry teacher?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, she's getting
into stand-up comedy.

(LAUGHS): Okay.

And she tries out her jokes on us.

- But, like, bad ones.
- Mm-hmm.

Um, like, "Why can you never
trust atoms?"

Because they make up everything.

(LAUGHS)

You are worse than Ms. McNamara.

Oh, man.

All right, look, we're about to merge.

- So, uh, put on your signal...
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

...and check your mirrors.

And when you feel like
you got space, go for it.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Message from Malik.

RANDALL: Watch the merge, Deja.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Can't stop thinking about last weekend.

- Wish you were here now.
- Oh...

- Hands on the wheel, Deja.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Can't really sleep.

The bed feels too big without you.

Ready to reply?

She took a six-hour
bus ride four states away,

and we had no idea.

- What if something happened?
- Let's k*ll her.

Let's dig a hole in the backyard
and bury her in it.

And it's not just how dangerous
it could have been, Beth.

It's the lying.

And it wasn't just one lie,
she lied right to our faces.

Right to our faces.

Okay, hold up.

I feel like we need to pick

which one of us is gonna unravel here

and which one of us
is gonna stay cool.

I'm already pacing, Beth. I'm up.

Okay, fine, I'll stay cool.

She is grounded.

Phone, gone.

Food, maybe.

And she is forbidden
from seeing Malik for forever.

Can we put her back on Zoom school?

I feel like that's kind of
punishing ourselves,

- so I want to hold off...
- We need to make an example

of her Tess and for Annie.

Maybe we should ground them all
just to get ahead of it.

Randall, you're so hot,
I'm gonna need an ice bath.

So why don't I go talk to her?

Why, Beth? So she can lie some more?

Huh? Huh... You know what?
I'm too hot.

I'm too hot ri...
I-I'm-a go for a run.

- That's what I'm-a...
- That's a good plan.

HENRI: I know, my little immigrant.

You want to find your family.

- And you will.
- FIEVEL: But how?

It's so far away and it's so big.

I'll never find them anyway.

- Where are you going?
- This movie's dumb.

HENRI: But did you say "never"?

So young and you have lost hope.

Oh, this is America.

You can just keep it open.

I swear, this is not
why I invited you.

But if Dad's buying,
let's order sh*ts.

- You guys want some sh*ts?
- Heck, yeah.

Uh, can we get six sh*ts of tequila?

Thank you. To Kevin.

- Cheers.
- ALL: Kevin.

Oh, thank you.

It's so impressive

how you can be around
people and not drink.

Oh, uh, you know, I-I...

I'm better off without it,
trust me. It's...

Should you be drinking,
though, honestly?

I mean, aren't you,
like, years old?

- I'm . I just look young.
- Okay.

- (LAUGHS)
- Well. That's great.

I was thinking that, maybe after this,

we could go check out
White Sea at The Echo.

Do you know her?

She used to be
the keyboardist for M .

I... no... I don't think
I do know her.

I'm not sure

anything that you just said
was English, actually.

Give me your phone.
I'll show you a clip.

Here you go.

Oh. Oh.

Um...

(TONGUE CLICKS, EXHALES)

(PHONE CHIMES)

Excu... Uh, excuse me.

Hey, Kevin, look at this.

One, two, one, two. (GASPS)

- Franny, walk to Mama. Walk to Mama.
- (EXHALES)

Come here. Yes! Ooh...

(LAUGHS): Oh, this is...

(STAMMERS) You know, I can't...
uh, I-I got to go.

I'll be ba... I'm not, I'm
probably not gonna come back.

- What?
- I... Just-just keep it open.

Okay, so usually
he's in his jammies by now,

but, uh, he's a little
off-schedule today, so...

That's okay. We can get you
into your jammies, right, Jack?

- Hey.
- KATE: Hi.

How old is McKenna?

Looks like she just turned .

Um, -ish?

She's been really great
this past month, and she is,

honestly, amazing.

Thank you.

Although the kids are usually asleep.

No!

Sorry, he's cranky.
He didn't have his nap.

'Cause his dad bought him
a new toy and...

Uh, which he loves.

It's a football that beeps.

- And he loves it.
- KATE: Yeah,

and he had to play with it, right,

- 'cause it started beeping and...
- No!

- Okay. I'll get it. I'll get it.
- Oh, uh, sorry.

- No.
- I'll get it. I got it, I got it.

KATE: Great, well, now
I'm gonna be worried

about him when we're at the recital.

Kate, you just need,
you need to relax. Okay?

Really? What you needed to do

was put him to bed at :
like I asked you to.

(CHUCKLES): I-I'm sure
we-we're gonna be fine.

I'm sure that we're gonna be late.

You know what? Here,
why don't you just go ahead...

here's that and here's this...

and I'll just stay here and make
sure that Jack goes down, okay?

Oh, thank God.

I'm gonna grab my bag.

All right.

KATE: So, I'll just go alone?

Kate, I know you worked hard
on this. You should be there.

I'll just, I'll-I'll catch
the next one, I guess.

You want some chicken?

- Yes.
- Yeah, okay, here you go.

There you go. See? We're doing great.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Okay.

- WARREN: How'd you get in here?
- (CRUNCH)

- (WARREN HOWLS)
- (LAUGHTER)

(CHUCKLES)

Get me that mouse!

Where's your brother?

- He left.
- What do you mean, he left? When?

Get your coats. Come on, let's go.

Come on. Let's go. Come on, let's go.

♪ ♪

Come here, come here. Kevin?

Hey, excuse me, hey.
Have you, have you seen

a little blond boy a-about the
same height as the two of them?

I think I saw him go out
in the mall about an hour ago,

- but I'm also incredibly stoned.
- Go, go.

- So, yeah.
- Come on, come on. Come on.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

Hey. Hey.

Hi.

Hi. What happened?

He went to the food court
looking for free samples

and got a little turned around

and they found him crying
outside of Spencer Gifts.

- Mm-mm.
- (EXHALES, STAMMERS)

I-I don't understand.
How did they know who to call?

You got to be kidding me.

You guys want to go home?

- Mm-hmm.
- All right, let's do it.

- How was the movie?
- RANDALL: Half of it was good.

KATE: Yeah, 'cause
we only watched half of it.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

(GASPS) Ellie, that was amazing.

We should have
always used you on alto.

- Thanks, Miss Kate.
- You're welcome. Good night.

- Good night.
- Kate. Kate.

Huh? I'd have to say,

that was one of the most
successful recitals ever.

- Aw.
- (CHUCKLES) But in-in fairness,

parents rarely boo
their blind children.

Eh...

I, uh, I thought I was
finally gonna meet

the, uh, the famous Toby.

Uh, yeah, he had
to stay home with the kids.

Ugh. Kids are the worst.

That's why I try to never be
around them ever.

Good job, Alyssa. Well done.

- Thank you.
- Okay. Night night.

You know, it's not the kids' fault.

It's really not anyone's fault,
um, but...

You probably don't
want to hear about it, so...

Not really.

It's just that we had
this stupid argument,

you know, about the kids'
schedules, and it just sucks

because he's only here
for the weekend.

(EXHALES) It's not a big deal.

And I certainly should not be
talking about it at work.

My wife and I had a stupid fight
that went on for years.

Uh, bath towels.

She would never hang them up.
It made me crazy.

And every day I'd go to work
and I'd start my class

by announcing whether or not
she hung up her towel.

And then, one day, I just, um,

I stopped giving the report,
because it became pretty obvious

that we had problems that were
much bigger than bath towels.

It-it wasn't really an anecdote
I wanted to share anymore.

So, as annoying as it is

that you told me about your
stupid fight with your husband,

just, uh, take it as a good sign

that you're still talking about it.

All right, I got to lock up.

♪

(DOOR OPENS)

♪

Where is she? Where's our
little Allyson Felix?

You know what I was gonna do,
I was gonna stop by,

I was gonna get some running
shoes before I came over here.

I thought that'd be kind
of funny, but then I got

so excited, I thought,
"No, just go on by

and see where she is."
You blink, you miss her.

Where'd she go? Where is she?

What are you, what are you doing here?

I came to see Franny walk.

It's : . She's asleep.

Okay, but y... I mean,
you couldn't have kept her up

for, like, another minutes?

Kevin, come on, I can't change
their sleep schedule

- every time they do something.
- Someth... This isn't something.

She, she propelled her body

in a forward motion
in an upright manner.

This is not something.
This is a major milestone.

This is huge.

There will be
a million major milestones.

We're not gonna be there
for every one of them.

You mean I'm not gonna be
there for every one of them.

Kevin.

Madison, I took this stupid job
so that I could be close

to my kids so I could
see 'em all the time.

It turns out, I can't.

What are you talking about?
You were here this morning.

You're gonna be back here again
tomorrow morning.

She will live to walk another day.

Yeah, and it won't be the same.

It won't be the...
You know, this sucks.

You know, it's like you get
all of the firsts, right?

And then I'm supposed to, what,
uh, just cling desperately

to my phone, j-just hoping
for a text from you.

I immediately sent you a text.

You sent me a video, well,
thank you very much,

I feel so connected to my children.

Look, I am sorry
that you are feeling feelings

or whatever you're doing right now,

but this is not a picnic for me, okay?

Yes, Franny walked today,
and it was adorable,

and am genuinely sorry
that you missed that.

But an hour before that,
Nick barfed all over me

while I was trying to wolf down

a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

and now I have to somehow
clean it out of my hair

before Elijah comes over so
that I don't seem revolting

and end up alone forever.

Clean the baby vomit out of
my hair, not the peanut butter.

Although I think I also have
peanut butter in my hair.

(EXHALES)

I... I know how badly
you want to be in their lives.

And you will be,
but we're not together.

And so that means that sometimes

one of us is gonna feel left out.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right.

Can you do me a favor,
when she wakes up,

will you tell her that her dad
came by?

Tell her that I'm proud of her?

Okay.

Okay.

All is well. Kevin is happily
playing with his Legos,

not a care in the world.

You wrote our phone number
inside his shoe.

Thank God they have you.

Okay, it's time
to forgive yourself. He's fine.

I just, I wanted them
to have a great day.

You know? Our kids are old enough

to start making memories now, Bec.

Like, important stuff,

real stuff they're gonna remember

- for the rest of their lives.
- Mm-hmm.

And now, every time Kevin thinks
about that first movie he saw,

he's just gonna think about
a day he was traumatized.

Okay.

Let me tell you about
our trip to the park yesterday.

All the kids wanted to do

was ride the rocket slide,
but it was closed.

And Kate had to pee,
but there was no bathroom,

and Kevin and Randall

were fighting over the last Capri Sun.

It was a mess.

We got to the car

and everybody was crying,
myself included.

And just when I thought
it was the worst day ever, um,

a ladybug landed on the dashboard.

- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- And Kevin tells us

it's good luck.

And Randall says that ladybugs
have two sets of wings.

And Kate decided to name it.

- Linda.
- Linda the Ladybug.

So, when I was
tucking them in last night,

that's what they remember
from the day.

Not the crying, not the Capri
Suns, but Linda the Ladybug.

Until a day is over,
there's always a chance

you'll remember it for something else.

(DOOR OPENS)

(EXHALES)

All right, Beth.

- Here's what we're gonna do.
- We're not gonna be able

to ground this out of her, Randall.

That girl is completely in love.

Doesn't give her an excuse.

It's like how you and I felt
at the beginning.

If somebody would have told us
we couldn't see each other

for months, we would have found a way.

So what are you saying, Beth?

That, because she's in love,

there shouldn't be any consequences?

Oh, no, there's gonna be consequences.

Like, she's not gonna see this again

until they come out
with the iPhone .

- Okay.
- But...

this isn't just about
what happened last weekend.

This is...

We thought our daughter was a child,

playing Candy Land,

but she's out here playing
The Game of Life,

and we have to adjust.

Randall, take a big sip of my wine.

I don't want a big sip of your wine.

- I just ran for five miles.
- Drink the wine.

I'm taking Deja to get birth control.

(WHISPERS): Hey.

I was trying to sneak in
undetected in case, you know,

"grown-up time" was still going on.

Which is-is kind of "gross,"
you know, I keep saying "it"

because you're married to my "sister."

- Why are you doing that?
- I... You know, I-I'm so tired, man,

I-I don't even... I can't, you know...

Well, you don't have
to worry about it,

'cause grown-up time was a bust.

Kate went to the recital
all by herself.

I literally just got both kids
down for the night.

Which, it turns out, is a
nightmare when the nap schedule

- is all out of whack.
- Ooh, yeah,

no, you don't want to mess
with the nap schedule.

So I hear.

What's all this? You, uh,
you taking off tomorrow?

TOBY: Yep. Bright and early,

so I can make it in time
for the : a.m. staff meeting.

Yeah, at least you have
an excuse, you know?

I live in the same city
as my kids, I feel like a...

a stranger, so...

You know, when I first found out
I was gonna be a dad,

I kept trying to picture it,
you know, in my head.

And the image that kept popping
into my mind was, uh,

family dinner, dinner table, you know?

Mom, dad, couple of kids.

This was gonna be us.

Me, Madison, the two kids.

Square, you know? A solid... unit.

Well, for what it's worth,
that dinner table

isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I sat through plenty of dinners
with my parents,

who clearly couldn't stand each other.

I think kids would much rather
have parents that are happy

than parents who are together.

Yeah, but I'm not happy.

You know, it's funny,
when... when we're kids,

we always, we build houses
that are, uh, square,

because we think...

that that is the strongest shape
that there is.

But, turns out...

...a triangle is the strongest
shape in nature.

Strong base.

It's capable of holding
infinitely more weight...

It is the most stable shape
that there is.

See?

So maybe you should just stop
thinking of your family

as a square and start
thinking of it as, you know,

you, Nick, Franny.

A triangle.

The hell are you talking about
right now, man?

(LAUGHS)

I don't, I don't know. I have no idea.

I thought I was gonna be having
sex with your sister tonight.

- Oh, come on, man.
- (EXHALES)

("WITH YOU" BY CUJO MOON PLAYING)

♪ I would go anywhere with you ♪

♪ Anywhere I go, it's true ♪

♪ High up on the mountains ♪

♪ Show me a new point of view ♪

♪ Hiding in the skies so blue ♪

(YELLING)

♪ The skies, they are hiding
the truth... ♪

- Thank you.
- All right, all right.

♪ Floating down the river ♪

♪ Reflections in the water with you ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ With you, with you ♪

♪ With you ♪

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

♪ With you, with you... ♪

Listen, I already apologized
to Beth. Please...

don't make me have
this conversation with you.

You know, today,
when I saw you behind the wheel

of that car, I thought...

"She looks ridiculous.

She's way too young to be driving."

Because, to me...

...you look exactly
like the little girl

who came to my doorstep
with everything she had

in the world tucked into one bag.

Now, rationally, of course,

I knew that this little girl had
already grown up quite a bit.

And I knew that the rest of
the growing up was still coming.

I just didn't realize
that it would come so quickly.

And maybe that's why I'm having
a hard time with this.

'Cause I missed the first
years of your life,

and I guess now I'm just
trying to stall for time.

To hold on to that very
particular version of my Deja.

So...

if you would be so kind,

please be patient with me

as I wrap my head around this new,

beautiful, grown-up you.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Mm-hmm.

That being said,

you are still a junior in high school,

and you will not be going
to visit your boyfriend

in Boston again anytime soon.

Well, that's going to be a problem.

♪

♪

(VIBRATING)

Why are you calling me
in the middle of the night?

Ha, uh...

Because I'm sleeping
on my sister's couch

even though I have enough money
to buy a big, fancy house,

and because, Cassidy, I...

(EXHALES) ...was about to call
my -year-old costar

who plays my stepdaughter
for a booty call,

and you live across the country
and you were born before Y K

- and I figured you were the better option.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

You really know how to flatter a girl.

Hmm.

Hi.

(LAUGHS): So, I went to Menchie's

and did the whole
tornado yogurt thing myself.

And, yeah, I got some
severe looks from Darcy

behind the counter, but I don't care.

It is really tough
with-without you here.

I know.

Listen, you-you know our kids
way better than I do right now.

That's just the truth, and I
should be following your lead.

Now, I know I don't need
to buy any more presents,

but I want to get one more
thing, and it's for all of us.

Can I show you?

Okay.

- Let me show you. Okay.
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

All right.

All right. (CLEARS THROAT)

- We already have a grill.
- Au contraire, mon frère.

This is no mere grill.

This is a smoker.
This is the Big Green Egg.

This smoker will outlast time,
global warming,

and all the other awful things
coming our way.

Look, Kate,

I don't want all of our memories
of this time

to be about us being apart.

So let's make some memories
of us being together.

Let's have big old cookouts
and let's eat food

that took me, like, hours to cook.

Let's be smokers.

- Okay. Let's be smokers.
- Okay.

Check this out. Okay. This is,
this is the biggest version.

They make all kinds
of accessories for it.

JACK: Good things
come to those who wait.

- Mm.
- And we...

are good to go.

You know, you don't need
to keep using that thing.

It's like the literal symbol

of the day your mom and dad's
marriage blew up.

Besides, that day almost
permanently deformed

- that near-perfect face of yours.
- (LAUGHS)

I keep it because it's delicious.

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

- (LAUGHS)
- Yes.

♪ ♪

See? That's what today will be.

Not the day he got lost,
but the day that his dad

made sundaes in the kitchen
and put pillows on the ground.

That is how he'll remember it.

That's how we're gonna remember it.

Never too late to turn a day around.

You know, I should
always listen to you.

That's what I've been telling you.

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

Yeah, this is.

(STAMMERS) Wait, what?

No, I...

I understand.

Okay, um...

Yeah. Thank you.

Who was that?

My mom d*ed.