What do we got?
We got any headlines?
Not much, although they keep bitching about his Bible.
Could be a debt ledger.
Well, whatever it is, it's missing, and they ain't happy about it.
Hey, guys, we have a situation.
Is that Barelli?
What's he doing down here?
I don't know, but it can't be good.
That's Paul n*zi, his nephew. Here, turn the Mike up.
Are you sure about this?
Damn. He's walking over here.
You guys are the FBI, right?
We need your help.
Last week, somebody walks into my church... steals the Bible.
An actual Bible?
Yeah, you know... the flood, Abraham sacrifices Isaac. You heard of it?
Why do you want our help?
I'm a tax paying citizen.
So? File a police report.
Come on, Burke.
You got your guys sitting on me.
It's part of the game, I know, but it means that I'm not free to... uh, find out who did this.
Yeah, it means you're not free to bust heads until you do.
Do I have to take these accusations?
Get to your point.
This Bible... It's not just some book that the Gideons leave on the nightstand.
This... this is five centuries of history from Naples.
The saints prayed over this book.
Your personal feelings for Barelli aside, I don't need the archdiocese crawling down our necks because we refused to help recover a medieval Bible.
But if Barelli asked for our help, he must really want it back.
All right, let's get this straight, here.
You may go to confession once a week, but the Bureau doesn't forgive sins.
We don't work for you.
What do you want?
Shut down your book making operations at Masso's club.
It's a restaurant.
See for yourself any time... after Thursday.
Please help me find my g*dd*mn Bible.
It's part of my process.
Look, either you taught her too well, or it's just a bottle.
It's more than that. It's the only thing Kate left me.
There's a message here.
Yeah, Peter. I'll be down in 5.
Oh, okay. I'm coming right now.
Oh, the man interferes yet again.
Can you please...?
I'll take it back to the lab, run some tests.
You don't have a lab. You have a storage unit.
white collar Season 01 Episode 03
The Bible belonged to the church of Saint Camillus de Lellis in Naples.
It was brought here in 1903.
It's been the heart of our parish.
No alarm, no witnesses, no sign of a forced entry.
It looks like a smash-and-dash.
Anything unusual that night, father?
No, not that I recall.
Have ERT. Run the prints against the parish roster.
Something tells me we'll get a few matches.
Nobody from this parish stole that Bible.
Oh, sure. You guys are all choirboys, right, Barelli?
No surveillance cameras.
The Lord sees all.
And that's good enough for us.
Maybe I'm getting my saint whatever's mixed up, but didn't you used to run a soup kitchen here?
Who steals a Bible?
People steal everything.
Why would we steal one?
Just in theory. Uh, they're rare.
Yeah, it makes them valuable, but not like a Picasso.
It's definitely niche markets.
Tough to fence.
People get weird about buying stolen religious artifacts.
I think it's an irony thing... that pesky eighth commandment.
Yeah, "thou shall not steal.
Well, it depends what's important to people.
Did you know that an original "Star Trek" dome lunchbox goes for 600 bucks?
I don't try to explain it.
No, I... I can appreciate that, but why this one?
Well, your missing book is famous.
It's known as the healing Bible.
In 1588, the plague passed through Naples.
Father Camillus carried the book into disease-stricken ships in the harbor.
Not a single person who touched the Bible died.
20 years later, a blind girl regained her sight when she rescued the book from a fire.
I could give you many more examples.
No, I... I'm sure you could.
Look, maybe you don't steal it for the money.
Maybe you steal because you're a true believer.
You got something better?
Every person in that church has a felony record.
The only people I don't suspect are the ones in prison.
So, let's start with the faithful.
"It cures blind nuns and lepers."
Sounds like every story in Sunday school.
Okay. Look at this.
In 1918, 30,000 people in New York died from the Spanish flu.
No one in this parish even caught a cold.
Maybe whoever took it thinks it's gonna heal them.
It's worth looking into.
Nobody in this church got the flu?
Why these guys and not the church down the block?
Because of a book?
Tough to swallow.
I thought you were catholic.
So you don't think some higher power could have saved the congregation?
Oh, I'm more inclined to think they kept the doors shut and loaded upon vitamin C.
Maybe god works with what he's got.
And God said: "Shut thine doors and eat thine oranges"?
All right, look.
When they dug up King Tut, everybody made such a big deal out of the curse of the pharaoh.
Yeah, two dozen people who entered the tomb ended up dead.
Yeah, they probably caught some old bacterial infection.
Germs... There's your divine intervention.
God can't use bacteria?
I prefer my miracles with a little more smiting and lightning.
Can I help you?
Thanks for seeing us, father.
We wanted to run down one thing.
You didn't tell us your Bible was also known as a healing Bible.
I didn't think it was relevant.
Was there anybody in your church who is a true believer of the healing power of the Bible?
Someone who was terminally ill?
Someone who had a sick family member?
I was afraid this might happen.
Mr. Barelli has discouraged the homeless from the church.
He made you shut down the soup kitchen.
How Christian of him.
The night of the theft, I let a homeless man sleep in the sanctuary.
His name's Steve.
Is he sick?
No. But someone very close to him is.
Uh, my name is Peter.
This is my friend Neal.
You mind if we ask you some questions?
The church you stayed in last week... they're missing a Bible.
You know anything about it?
Yeah, I... I took it.
We need it back.
No. No, I need it back.
What do you mean? Where is it?
I took it from the church like he asked me to.
Now, he said that he would show me how to help Lucy get better.
Then he took it from me.
Now, he has not brought it back.
Do you know where he is?
No. I wish I did.
Who asked you to take the Bible from the church?
Look, he said that he would help Lucy get better.
She's not getting better, okay?
She's getting worse.
What's wrong with her?
She's tired all the time.
She don't eat nothing.
Now, if I could get that Bible back, she'll get better.
The man who asked you to take the Bible... Did you meet him at the church?
Steve, if we show you some pictures, do you think you could recognize him?
We just need to get the Bible back, okay?
'Cause she's fading, all right?
You okay to keep going?
There's more of them?
Yeah. Let's, uh, just get through this one, okay?
Glad we followed your hunch. I hope it takes us somewhere.
O ye of little faith.
Been waiting all day to trot that one out, huh?
Been holding onto it since lunch.
Um, I'm gonna be right back, okay?
That bad, huh?
Yeah, "that bad" was about an hour ago.
Just give me the damn thing.
No luck, huh?
No, not... not really, no.
Look, um... I'm sorry I'm not more help to you.
My bell got rung pretty good in Fallujah.
You were in Iraq?
That's where I found Lucy.
We called in this predator strike on this trigger house.
Two hellfires came in... and just destroyed everything.
Then I hear this little whimpering, so...
I lift up this piece of roof, and there she was, just wagging her tail.
Well, you think you could look at one more book?
Okay, the rest of you go over there, make sure NYPD doesn't touch anything.
Let's go get Peter.
What's going on?
One of Barelli's men just got sh*t.
Paul n*zi, Barelli's number two.
That's the guy that asked me to take the Bible.
That's our boy.
Body's not waterlogged, so it's... fresh.
.25-caliber casing. European gauge.
It's a .22-caliber.
This is Brooklyn, buddy, not Bavaria.
This is a homicide, not an art exhibit. What are you doing here?
Ruiz, I see they let you out of your cubicle.
Yeah. This is my show now.
Where's your pet convict?
I left him in the car with the windows cracked.
What are you doing at my crime scene?
This tails into my case.
This is mob retaliation.
It's my investigation now.
You don't believe me, ask Hughes.
Don't... don't start with me.
You've got Ruiz running organized crime?
We offer you that bump every year. Every year, you turn it down.
This isn't mob-on-mob.
The Bible's the key to this thing.
All you got is a homeless guy with a spotty memory who thinks n*zi may have enticed him into stealing the Bible.
What we got here is a dead member of the Barelli family probably k*ll by the Morettis.
All right, fine.
I'll stay out of the active investigation.
Just let me take a look at whatever's on that body.
It's Ruiz's case, and he's not comfortable sharing intel while Caffrey's with you.
Oh, come on.
He's a convicted felon, Peter.
And Ruiz isn't the only one with reservations.
You have plenty of other cases on your sheet.
Let organized crime handle this one.
We're off the case. We've been asked to step down.
You think this is a retaliation k*ll by the other family?
I don't think Paul would have met a Moretti alone by this river, not with all the bad bl*od in the water.
Now, if Ruiz is right...
That a Moretti k*ll him?
We may be sitting on the edge of a mob w*r.
So, what do we do?
I can't do much of anything.
Ruiz is not willing to share the case file.
So, where's that leave us?
Like I said, I can't do much of anything.
I'm getting a little chilly by this water, aren't you?
Think I could borrow your jacket?
I swear to you, Peter, under no circumstances will I impersonate the FBI.
Where do you think you're going?
This is Paul n*zi's apartment, right?
Hi, uh, Ted Jefferson from the evidence recovery team.
I don't care if you're Thomas Jefferson. I need ID.
I pulled a double-hommy last night.
It's in the van.
My partner took it to see his girlfriend in Queens.
Not my problem, brother.
Look, I just need a urine swab from the vic's toilet.
If I don't get it soon, it'll spike the cross-reactivity, and then...
I got orders, too, pal. No ID, no pee.
Oh, I know. You can get it.
All you got to do is swab around the rim of the toilet, then drop the swab into the tube, screw the cap on the tube, and, bam, we're good to go.
No way. I'm not doing that.
Now it's your problem.
Yeah, cap. I got a local hero by the name of...
Okay, okay, pee boy.
Get it yourself.
Oh, it turns out he hero's on our side.
Any problems getting in?
None. He thinks I'm swabbing toilets.
I figure we've got about 10 minutes until he gets curious.
Why, is that the standard toilet-swabbing time?
Yes, that's exactly what it is.
You know, you look pretty comfortable in that FBI windbreaker.
Maybe it's time to consider a new career path.
Nope. I prefer to keep my soul.
What are we looking for?
Paul convinced our homeless guy to steal a Bible.
I want to know why, I want to know who k*ll him, and I want to know if they're related.
He was researching something.
Hundred years' w*r, the Crusades.
Why is a mob guy searching the medieval history?
Do you know the name Maria Fiametta?
Doesn't ring a bell. Who is she?
Art historian, Brooklyn State.
Serendipity... Paul had an appointment at Brooklyn State.
You find anything?
Your hunch was right. Ruiz is on the wrong trail.
And how did you learn this?
The same friend who...
He's real. I'm not making him up.
Oh, I know he's real.
How much do you know?
Enough. What'd you find?
A professor who writes about the black market...
Sicilian grave robbers, Egyptian smugglers, and Serbian mobsters.
I mean, you can't run with those crowds unless you're willing to get dirt under your nails.
What's his name?
Her name is Maria Fiametta.
A regular "Cindiana Jones".
Do you want to go meet her?
Yeah, I think I do.
You gentlemen are with the FBI?
Yes, we're hoping you can help us out on this one.
We're working on a stolen Bible.
Thank you, agent...?
That's funny. There's a very talented manuscript forger also named Neal Caffrey.
And you're with the FBI?
It's... sort of a work release.
I have to ask... um, is it true that the Vinland map is yours?
How could it be?
But if it is a forgery, it's spectacular.
How about we get back to my current problem?
A pre-Renaissance Bible stolen from a church in Brooklyn.
It's... very beautiful, but it's not a Bible.
Pre-renaissance, yes, uh, but it's too small to be a Bible.
Then it's a book of hours.
Most likely, yes. In the Italian style.
It's a large prayer book.
To show their devotion, monks and nuns had to recite the psalms, hymns, or chants at specific times all day long.
Lots of Sundays.
This is a particularly nice example.
Paul n*zi thought so, too.
Do you know him?
We believe he stole it.
Oh, well, I hope you catch him.
Can't... He's dead.
Looks like a mob hit, but we're still hoping to figure out who took the book.
I'd love to know. It's quite beautiful.
Here's my card. If you hear anything or come across anyone who's looking to buy or sell something like that...
I will call you.
It's a pleasure.
If you are ever in the mood to discuss medieval manuscripts...
Oh, you'd be surprised how often I'm in the mood for that.
Was this just an exercise in Schadenfreude?
Because you win. It's just a bottle, man.
The lab needs to re-examine its work.
The lab went over very inch of that thing.
Fingerprints, chemicals, black light... nothing.
I even tested the remnants of the wine left in the bottle, which, by the way, was a very lovely boxed Franzia from early October.
Oh, your FBI friend keeps you on a tight leash.
All right, look, keep looking, Moz. Something's there, okay?
She's lying about Paul, and she's two degrees away from our homeless guy, but I also have trouble buying the fact that an attractive history professor offed a Mobster.
No, you don't want me to see the missing inventory because if I come down there, there's gonna be a lot more missing than center pieces.
You got that?
Okay, maybe it's not a complete stretch.
Sorry. Um, it was just my vendor.
No, it's fine.
We were just trying to decide if a woman is capable of m*rder.
Oh, I think so.
What's the issue?
I.... I think we're dealing with a shell game.
Visual aids. Nice.
Big gulp is Paul, dead mob guy.
Coffee cup is Steve, our homeless vet.
Mug is Maria.
Napkin's the Bible.
Make Maria the saltshaker.
Maria's the mug. Watch.
We'll start with Paul, who, for some reason, reads Maria's book and realizes that the healing Bible is worth a hell of a lot of cash.
But it's also Barelli's pride and joy.
He doesn't want to risk Barelli's wrath, so he gets... Steve to steal the Bible.
But if it doesn't work, then he let's the homeless guy take the fall.
Well, that's evil.
Takes the Bible from Steve, calls Maria to make the deal. Something happens.
Yeah, the deal goes down wrong, or Paul decides he wants both the cash and the book.
Well, whatever it is, Paul ends up dead, the Bible goes missing, Steve never even met Maria.
And our girl walks away clean with a very expensive book.
Okay, how'd you do that?
Never reveal your secrets.
Well, how do we get Maria to reveal hers?
Well, if I stretch it, I might be able to get a warrant to get into her place.
You know, if she's smart. She's not gonna have that Bible anywhere close to her.
El, I've never seen this devious side.
Don't cross me.
Elizabeth's right about the Bible. She won't keep it close.
I've got it. She knew who you were... Neal Caffrey, master forger.
If she's got the book, it links her to the m*rder.
She's gonna want to get rid of it.
We've got all the usual channels locked down, but if she thinks you might be interested...
Convince her I'm pliable.
We find some street contacts, float it out that old Neal Caffrey is back in business.
No, that could take time to reach her, and there's no guarantee.
Why don't you just ask her out?
That could work. Think she'll say yes?
I could prob...
To history, old and new.
How does an FBI agent get a table here?
It's like a six-month wait.
Oh, an FBI agent doesn't.
Don't forget... I had a previous life.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
You could say that.
How about you?
Who were you in your previous life?
Same person I've always been... with '90s hair.
I doubt that.
Let me see your lifeline.
Come on, it'll... it'll help fill in the blanks.
You're not seriously gonna read my palm right now, are you?
Not afraid to get dirty.
Well, that's true.
No ring. Between that and the calluses, I'm guessing work gets in the way.
Not a ring for you, either.
Yeah. Prison got in the way.
So, it must be weird for you... Working for the FBI.
I don't know.
It's always interesting to read from the other team's playbook.
The other team? I thought you were out of the game.
Oh, I am.
Retired and rehabilitated.
Have you found your missing Bible?
You know anyone who wants to buy one?
Looters approach meal the time. So do buyers. It's a very attractive offer.
It sure is.
Uh, Judge Rattigan faxed the warrant.
All right, Neal's got orders to keep her away from her home for at least an hour.
Can you by pass the alarm?
Let's do it.
Oh, you sure?
I might order something you don't like, and then where would we be?
I trust you.
After all, you work for the FBI.
Now you read minds?
The question is, do you?
It's not bad for a college professor, huh?
Yeah, well, she's either a crook or a trust-fund baby.
Yeah, maybe it's both.
They usually are.
Yeah, not a bad place to drop a bug, either.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's good coverage. Let's do it.
She's bringing him back here for dessert.
Of course she is.
Oh, you jealous you ain't getting any of it?
I'm perfectly fine with the stale-ass coffee I have in the van, thank you.
Yeah, we're good.
Careful, Lauren. Don't spill that stale-ass coffee.
It's a bug. I can hear.
They're home. Roll tape.
So... what shall we talk about?
There's this story about these two spies, a French duke and an Italian count.
They're sworn enemies who spent the whole year trying to trick each other, but on new year's eve, they got to ask one question that the other had to answer truthfully.
The trick was asking the right question because you may never get another chance.
I've always said honesty is a more challenging game.
"Honesty is a more challenging game?"
Geez, how come my dates don't go like this?
Because you don't say things like, honesty is a more challenging game.
That's because nobody actually talks like that.
They do in Neal Caffrey's world.
This wine needs to breathe.
I'm gonna get a decanter.
Why don't you put some music on?
What are you in the mood for?
Oh, you know...
10 years painting the same Bible.
It's like stalking God.
Without the monks' devotion, we would have lost one of the most significant works of Greek literature forever.
You know what?
I don't trust you.
I wouldn't trust me, either.
I think we have a technical problem.
That's one way of putting it.
Let's play the spies game.
I'll ask you a question...
And I have to tell you the truth?
And you have to tell me the truth.
Okay. Make it a good one.
Which Neal Caffrey are you?
Are you working for the good guys... or are you working a bigger game?
Did I answer your question?
The feds linked Barelli's Bible to Paul n*zi, and you to Paul through his visits to the college.
Look, Maria, I'm living proof. If the feds want something from you, they'll turn your life inside out to get it.
They'll tell Barelli you have his book.
Even if I don't?
I can get you $250,000 in two days.
It is worth a lot more than that.
Not if you're in prison or dead.
Between the FBI and the mob, there's no way you can move it.
The other team's play book.
If I shouldn't risk it, why are you?
Won't they send you back for good?
I'm already in prison.
We have a deal?
How did you know she was in on it?
I checked Paul's credit.
He got wired 10 g's from a shell corporation in Gibraltar owned by your lady professor.
Oh, by the way, how'd last night's fishing go? Get any tape?
Equipment failure. But Caffrey says she has the book.
She'll sell, but only to him.
Of course he'd say that. The terms?
$250,000 wired to a Swiss account.
No way. What if he cuts a deal with her, he runs away with the book?
What choice do we have?
I don't need another dead body washing up in the east river.
We'll set up a dummy account.
It's risky. What if she takes a sh*t at Neal?
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
Everybody sleep okay?
Cayman's first national.
I'll e-mail you the pin right before the buy.
First they're sending me back to prison, tomorrow they're giving me a quarter million taxpayer dollars in an off shore account.
Guess that shows how much confidence they have in you.
And how much I have in you.
You're up early.
I can tell.
You're wearing your lucky tie.
Hey, did you find the Bible?
Yeah. The professor had it.
Neal's gonna buy it back.
You're giving him money.
No wonder... Lucky tie.
No way. We set up a fake wire transfer.
Then what are you worried about?
He has to convince her that he's working us, which means he has to cut his anklet for real.
The book's worth a fortune. He could run with it.
Well You have a lot more faith in a ratty, old tie than you do Neal.
Yeah, well, this ratty, old tie's never forged a priceless map of Vinland.
Why is it so hard for you to believe that he'll do the right thing?
Let's just say that's not his first instinct.
And trust isn't yours.
I like to know I can count on something.
I know you do.
But sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
Look at him.
Son of a bitch should be in leg-irons if you ask me.
Nobody asked you, Ruiz.
He conned you, too, Pete, huh?
Here she comes.
We have a chaperone.
White van over my left shoulder.
What happened to not mixing business with pleasure?
That's for us. He's patting her down.
I need a cigarette after that pat-down.
Well, what is that?
She making sure that's not a g*n in his pocket?
So where's my money?
Where's my book?
When I cut the anklet, our friends in the van are gonna know I'm running.
Can you lose them?
'Cause I'm not going back in.
I've been chased by the Carabineer, drug cartels in Bogota...
I get it. You're good.
With all due respect, Neal... we could make quite a fine pair.
With all due respect, Maria, shut up and drive.
He cut the tracker.
Right on schedule.
Oh, you knew about this?
He had to convince her he's rigging the system.
What if he really is?
There are a dozen unmarked in the area.
NYPD has eyes in the sky.
There's nowhere to hide. Let's go!
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I spent a long time looking for her.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
It's calfskin vellum. The abyssus perfidia.
Golden chalice of Paul.
Sending. It's on its way.
Here it is. Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
You'll never know how much pleasure it could have been.
You know, I had a feeling all that lovey-dovey stuff last night was BS.
Next time you should trust your instincts.
Clip. Lifted it when I patted you down.
You forgot about the one in the chamber.
Damn it. I've never been a g*n guy.
Give me the book, Neal.
You gonna take me on, it's gonna cost you a small fortune.
What's the matter? You can't do it?
Is it 'cause of the money or the history?
I think you know the answer to that.
Is that why you k*ll Paul?
Paul decided that he wanted the money and the book.
Yeah, that's what happens when you get greedy.
Drop the g*n!
g*n down or we sh**t!
Put the g*n down!
Right now... put the g*n down, your hands behind your head.
Man down. Man down!
Cut it a little close there, pal.
Guess the big guy had your back, huh?
Well, I'll tell you one thing. You made Lauren's day.
Yeah, not Barelli.
How did you and your cub scouts find out about this?
I got one of those police scanners. It's a hobby.
She's Paulie's sh**t?
Some kind of lover's quarrel?
I hate to break it to you, but your nephew decided to freelance behind your back.
Oh, that's sad, you know. You can't trust family, who can you trust?
So, if you guys are done, I'd like my Bible back.
Mass starts in one hour.
Would it k*ll you to say "thank you"? Huh? Would it?
Yeah, I guess it would. All right, just give it to him, man.
What do you mean, "what"?
Give him the Bible.
I gave it to some FBI guy.
"Some FBI guy"?
You think you can get over on me?
You'll wish you were never born, pal.
Yeah, I seem to be getting this speech a lot lately.
Just shut up.
No, No, I'm not gonna let this go.
Where is it, Caffrey?
I'll let Barelli give you a ride home.
Look, I'm telling you guys. I don't know.
I know where it is.
What are you doing with my Bible?
She would have died without it.
Not so fast, wacko.
You know who you're messing with?
You've got it, Barelli. Just leave him alone.
No, I'm not gonna let this go.
Hey, sweet girl.
Her name's Lucy.
She don't look so good. What's the matter with her?
She's been sick... until today.
I got this vet in Yonkers.
He saved my pugs from diabetes.
Want to take a ride, go see him, have her checked out?
I was gonna give it back after...
How'd you know?
Okay, I didn't know, but I took a leap of faith that you did the right thing.
I told you it's a healing Bible.
Oh, here we go.
Barelli's a softie for dogs.
Oh, not enough smiting and lightning for you?
That's not a miracle.
It's not a parting of the Red Sea.
Well, I'll take my miracles where I can get them.
Can we have the honors?
Hey, is that my jacket?
He works in mysterious ways.
Mozy, wake up. Moz.
Let me see your warrant.
Lemon juice and a candle.
How did I miss this?
Weren't you ever a boy scout?
Oh. I got kicked out.
Pinewood derby, magnets, it was a whole... thing.
It's a map.
Of New York City subway.
What do you think it means?