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02x01 - Hella Great

Posted: 03/05/19 09:25
by bunniefuu
[music playing]

♪ My time ain't long ♪

♪ And it sure ain't free ♪

♪ If you're gonna move it on, do it now ♪

♪ Put that lovin' on me ♪

♪ Scared money don't make none... ♪

I'm... glad we're finally getting the chance to talk.

You know, I get why you did what you did now.

And it hurts, but...

Hopefully, we can move past it.

What?

I said, are you originally from here?

Oh, yeah. I grew up in Windsor Hills, but I live in Inglewood now.

- You live near here?
- Yep, born and raised.

- So, where you from?
- Honestly, it doesn't matter what I say

- 'cause this isn't going anywhere.
- Oh, yeah?

I used to work in Inglewood.
I'm in Cerritos now.

[both chuckling]

High school kids? That sounds tough.

- You like working with kids?
- So, how is it working with kids?

To be honest, f*ck them!

But I'm trash, too, so... you know?

So, how long have you been on Hinge?

- Mmm...
- How long you been on Bumble?

- [sighs]
- How are you still single?

I'm a liar, sweetie.
I cheat on n*gg*s, too.

I do! Probably shouldn't trust me or I'll hurt your feelings, boo.

I don't wanna be here, but my ex won't take me back, so my broken ass is here, small talkin' over apps.

Put it down, girl.

I'm so dead inside, n*gga, I cry every day.

You should get the check and here's the tip... Check...

[echoes] run away!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm great.

All right. Do you need another...

- Whoa-ho!
- Oh, my G...!

♪ I'm gonna hit the ceiling ♪

♪ Hands up on the wall ♪

♪ On it, on it... ♪

Yeah, you know, I've been working late a lot, but otherwise, everything's fine.

You know, I feel like

I'm exactly where I should be in my career.

Oh, that's great.

So, how are things with your family? You mentioned that your brothers tend to be a little bit all over the place.

No, I think we're fine.

We're good. [chuckles]

We haven't talked much about your life outside of work.

Is there anything there you'd like to discuss?

No, not really.

Well, whenever you're ready to open up, just let me know, or we could switch seats and I could tell you my issues.

[both chuckling]

Thanks, I... I really appreciate that.

She's trying to get all deep, trying to get all in my business.

Girl, that's what they supposed to do.

I mean, we just started working together, but I at least like that she's black.

- She sounds better than the other one.
- True.

I definitely spent an entire session trying to explain what "being woke" was to Dr. Rosenberg.

And then I said "n*gga" in front of Dr. Connors and he wanted to use the rest of the time

- trying to "unpack that."
- Mm-mm.

I'm just trying to be really open-minded and give this whole therapy sh*t a sh*t.

Well, the only way you're gonna know is if you stick it out.

sh*t, if I had insurance, I wouldn't...

Girl, Grey sweatpants eyeing you at : , : , : .

Girl, I don't know. He on the move! Just look!

What? Oh, him?

Okay, I see you with the superhuman n*gga repellent.

- You focused!
- I know, right? It's been a minute.

One day I looked over, my d*ck meter was all the way on E.

Join the club, bitch. d*ck on E.

Bank account on E.

Life on E.

Stop. I'm fine.

Nope. Malibu, bitch. Be honest.

I am! I'm way better than I was a couple months ago.

I'm just tired of this dating sh*t, girl.

It's so much f*cking work.

All the messages I gotta send.

I gotta be cute and careful and witty and charming.

It's a lot.

I mean, not if you just trying to f*ck.

- And I compare every dude to Lawrence.
- Well, that's expected.

[sighs] He probably still hates me.

- But it's fine...
- Girl, he does not hate you.

I mean, he still responds to your text messages, right?

It's all bills and apartment sh*t, though.

Girl, he won't even come pick up his mail because he doesn't wanna see me.

You know what? I just want us to be cool.

I don't even want him back.

It's okay if you do.

But real talk, though?
Guys always want you back when they know you're doing good without them.

Look at you, unpacking my sh*t.

Molly: Ha! You're an idiot.

♪ She see money all around me ♪

♪ I look like I'm the man ♪

♪ Yeah, but I was down and out like last week... ♪

- [Tasha moaning]
- Lawrence: Yeah?

- Tasha: Oh, yes, yes, yes! Oh!
- Yeah!

- Zaddy!
- [grunting]

Oh, Zaddy!

- Oh!
- Aw, sh...

- [moaning]
- [panting, chuckles]

What?

You said "daddy" with a "Z"?

- You hate it?
- No. I love it.

It's just funny.

Mm.

Yo, should I start calling you "Zommy"?

- That don't even go.
- [chuckles]

- No, you leaving?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I've been in your space all weekend.

- I gotta go.
- Okay.

Hey, you wanna get together Thursday?

Uh, nah, Thursday's no good, but I could do Friday after work.

Mmm.

Okay.

Maybe I'll be here.

You'll be here.

Mm!

Bye.

Ninny, what's the meaning of this?

- A book?
- Oh, listen.


I just don't know what you mean, Ms. Massa.

- Ninny, so help me...
- [gasps]


... if this is anything more than a cookbook,

there will be consequences!

The footless kind.

Oh, bitch! Let the bitch read!

[whirring]

[TV turns off]

[clears throat]

My bad!

I saw some spots today.

- You find something?
- Nah, not yet.

But give me a few weeks, though. I'll be out.

Yeah, you gonna move back in with ol' girl?

[whirring stops]

Relax, man. I'm f*cking with you.

What, you going to sleep already?

Yeah, I'm tired, man.

All that f*cking, huh? I didn't know you had it in you, bro.

- Good for you.
- What you mean?

Man, you got your new sh*t down to a science.

You roll in on Friday, smash all weekend, bounce out on Sunday.
It's low maintenance, efficient,

- all upside.
- It's not even like that. She's cool.

You don't even take the bitch out.
You know how much

- money I spend on Leah?
- Cloth napkins and sh*t.

Yo, you don't know what you're talkin' about.

All right? We're both having fun.

- No pressure.
- [scoffs]

Hmm.

Pressure busts pipes.

Announcer: Next time on "Due North."

♪ There's a life outside I didn't know ♪

♪ Tied up, falling down to an empty soul... ♪

[tsk]

♪ And Lord knows that this love has taken toll ♪

♪ I've given all of my love to this broken home ♪

♪ So why don't you lose yourself for me? ♪

[vocalizing]

[chatter]

- Are you catching any of this?
- No.

[kids speaking Spanish]

Okay.

Hey, everyone, in case you forgot, we will be in the library from : to : .

Yeah, and we have everything you need.

We have calculators, we have iPads, Smart boards.

- We can get those, right?
- No.

- [school bell ringing]
- Frieda: Line up and...

- Guys, we have everything you need!
- ...we can walk together!

Um, you guys wanna come?

No? Okay, next time.
I'm Frieda. Nice to meet you.

No? Okay.

- Thank you, too. Okay.
- Oh, okay.

- Next time.
- Hi, Ms. Alvarez.

- Uh, yes, I was just leaving.
- Okay, I won't be long.

We'd just really love your help in convincing some of your students to stay.

Do we need to tailor our curriculum to be more culturally specific?

Culturally... I'm an art teacher and they have me teaching geometry.

So I have to go review chapter .

And through .

Oh, that's a lot.

Hey, so we have zero students, and our teacher still only speaks Spanish.

Yeah, we asked her to learn English and she didn't.

This school is a disaster.

[sighs]

Diane: If I didn't have to go to Jamal's work thing, you know I would totally do this call myself.

I asked Kevin and Tim, but they took the day off.

- Lumineers concert.
- [scoffs, chuckles]

No problem.

Oh, are you bringing a gift to Hannah's goodbye thing?

I can pick her up something nice and put both our names on it.

- Yeah?
- You're the best.

I was thinking maybe, like, experience gift or something.

Yeah, I don't know.

Automated voice: You are now being connected.

There are six other callers on the line.

Hi, this is Molly Carter with Merrill, Johnson & Schwartz.

Woman on phone: Oh, hi, Molly. Diane brought you up to speed?

She sure did.

Great. Welcome. We've got Eric Blackwell

- and Anthony from research...
- [mouthing words]

... and conference Saunders on the line.

We're hoping to keep this brief.

Our main objective on this call

is to cross-reference our strategies on Sycamore

and to make sure we're all on the same page.

Sorry, I thought you were on the phone.

- The major output...
- Oh!

... the split in authority on class

action waivers and arbitration clauses. We also

wanna make sure we're effectively managing client expectations.

Um, it seems like we already know what our client wants.

We just need to determine what jurisdiction this matter falls under.

Agreed.

But we also should continue to explore

whether or not there's a settlement to be reached here.

It's... it's possible that talking to this arbitrator

puts us in a weaker position than using evidence.

We have to persuade...

♪ You're giving me those morning blues ♪

♪ Used to be your world, now I'm not your girl ♪

♪ You're making me feel the blues ♪

♪ Used to be your world, now I'm not your girl ♪

♪ You're giving me those morning blues ♪

♪ Used to be your world, now I'm not your girl ♪

♪ You're making me feel the blues... ♪

♪ You gotta get this mail, you gotta get this mail ♪

♪ Or you gonna go to jail, you gonna go to jail! ♪

Ms. Trudy: Bitch, you better get the f*ck up off my mail!

Uh, Ms. Trudy, it's me.

Oh, Issa.

Hi, baby.

What you think about Wayne Brady?

- Uh, he's cool...
- 'Cause I don't trust him!

Uh, me neither.

Okay, bye.

Put some lotion on those ankles.

Okay!

[phone buzzing]

- Yep?
- Issa: Hey!

- You good? You busy?
- Nope.

Looking at vacation fights.

Ready to get the entire f*ck up out of here!

sh*t, I'll go with you.
But in the meantime, I be feeling real good lately, you know?
And I was thinking about doing one of those Wine Downs like how we used to do.

Back when we used to watch "I Love New York" and drink Moscato?

Yep! But how do you feel about making it a plus-one party?

Hey, we can have everybody roll through, bring a single friend, and then just, boom, unions everywhere.

What you think?

Whoo!

You know I'm always down for a Wine Down.

And I could use one, bad.

Aw! Well, how 'bout tomorrow night?

Yep. I'll bring a case. Or two.

♪ You're my best friend I wish that I could hug you ♪

♪ You buy the best wine, I hope... ♪

Mm-mm.

Hello?

Okay.

We're seeing double the attendance this year at Audubon Middle.

Engagement is extremely high, and we've also been teaching them how to write resumés.

Um, I think they're a little young for resumés.

- But extra credit over here is just...
- Okay, this is great.

Issa, where are we with East st Street?

Kitty's reports say you have no interest and no attendance?

Mm, yet.

But we are working on making the faculty aware of how we can help alleviate their struggles.

Oh, they're aware; they're just not receptive.

We just haven't connected with them yet.

Uh, yeah.

They just have so much going on at East st Street.

If only we had a Latino staff who could connect with them.

- Issa: Oh, okay, I think...
- [whispers] I thought she was Mexican.

I told you. Mm-mm.

No, I've heard her speak Spanish, I think.

... but despite all the difficulties...

I know you guys are working hard, but I don't know if this is gonna pan out.

Issa, Frieda, let's talk new options tomorrow.

Sarah and Kitty, I'm moving you guys to Peary Middle.

- Yes!
- Joanne: Thanks.

- Where's that?
- A good place.

[phone buzzes]

Joanne!

Joanne?

I don't think we should give up yet.

I love that you wanna try this school, but we have run into this problem before.

High schools are tough, middle schoolers just show up.

- Older kids push back.
- I get that, but isn't it our job to make things work even when it's difficult?

All right, but if I don't start to see some progress soon, we are moving on.

Okay. No, great. Thank you.

And remember, as someone once said, you can do it if you put your back into it.

- Mm.
- ♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

- Ice Cube?
- ♪ Get your ass up and hurry ♪

♪ Unh ♪

♪ Ice Cube, baby ♪

♪ , baby ♪

♪ I'm on the grind, baby... ♪

But how do you deal with the Chicago winters?

Really big jackets.

Plus, I never go outside.

Do you think the cold has anything to do with how violent it is out there?

Because I get it.

- Okay.
- Hey, Diane, we didn't get our bonuses early, did we?

Oh, my God, no way. I wish.

Well, where's Travis?

Mm. I saw him at the bar.

Oh, I see him. I'll be right back.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

- What you drinking?
- Uh, everything 'cause it's free.

[both chuckling]

Since the partners are drunk tonight,

I'm, uh, thinking about putting a buzz in their ear for a raise.

Oh, okay. Right.

You've been buzzing already?

About a raise?

What, so they can expect even more out of me?

f*ck, no!

You guys, are my cheeks red?
Are my ears red?

I feel like I'm getting too drunk to be at work drunk.

- Do I look...? No?
- You're fine.

- Okay.
- Oh, here we go.

Everyone, can I have your attention, please?

Hannah: Thank you. I... I really, really appreciate this.

It's... it's really too much!

Now, everyone who has worked with Hannah knows that she is truly, truly a force.

Am I right? I mean, really just...

- [scoffs]
- Yeah, a force that they forced out.

Stop it! God.

- Excuse me.
- Why is everybody pretending the Chicago office is not a step down?

- What are you talking about?
- She couldn't handle the pressure.

- The partners could tell.
- Uh, I doubt that.

She was always working later than anybody.

If anything, she's leaving because she didn't feel valued.

Well, then she should've said something.

- Closed mouth, no food.
- [scoffs]

Right, 'cause everyone automatically listens to a woman when she opens her mouth.

Hannah: ... if you don't mind, I just wanna thank...

♪ Brushed my hair, went downstairs ♪

♪ Favorite jeans on my rear... ♪

I am so glad you made it.

I really missed you. You haven't changed a bit.

But I have. I'm not a cheater anymore.

No, I just... I love how we can joke about this.

Oh, hey! I forgot you were coming. I'm humbled.

Oh, this? It's just a party.

My life!

Oh, hey. Here's your jury duty.

And here's your jury booty.

♪ So what, I got an attitude... ♪

Lorenzo, I'm coming to the hot tub!

Can we just pray together? Lorenzo, stop... shut up!

Stop playing! Jesus, thank you for blessing us with humility.

n*gg*s on n*gg*s on n*gg*s.

Love. Remember these?

And fornication. Not yet.
That was too far.

This reminds me of the fifth day of Kwanzaa.

♪ Attitude, attitude, attitude, attitude... ♪

Oobija. Do you remember when you still actually loved me?

Ilani. I f*cked it all up.

Booyakasha. You want a taste. You want a taste.

♪ When they ask me where I've been ♪

♪ Busy, busy, what, what, what, what? ♪

Amen.

[music playing]

I shouldn't drink anything else, though. Like, legit.

Look at our plus-ones over there looking all cute.

- And we're so good at this.
- Well, I'm good at this, too.

Look, if Logan don't find nobody at this party, then we gonna find each other. Ain't that right?

Yup! We can get weird.

#Wedo.

Y'all good? Y'all want some more Carlo Rossi?

No, girl. I thought this was a grown-up Wine Down.

Why don't we open my Napa Valley wine?

And I brought a wine opener just in case you didn't have one.

I have one...

- Now.
- I'll take some. Thank you.

Issa, Jeff was just telling me that his grandma grew up in Windsor Hills, too.

Oh, really? That's crazy!

- [door opens]
- Issa: Oh, hey!

You actually came with your flaky ass.

Don't be mad at me for living a rich and fulfilling life.

- Where that Rossi at, though?
- Uh, Ahmal, where is your plus-one?

Oh, he's my plus-one.

Your brother is your plus-one?

- Girl, what?
- You said we have a lot in common.

Ahmal, did you call Mom back?

- Nah.
- Me neither. See?

- Hey, bro, what up?
- Good to see you, man.

- Tiffany!
- Ahmal!

Look at you, looking the flyest.

And look at you with your coat.

And look at you with your...

Shut the f*ck up! [scoffs]

- [chuckles]
- Yeah.


[doorbell rings]

[exhales]

You ready?

Oh, so Sheila's still talking about her foot surgery?

Still. Just any excuse not to stand.

And she still giving out them dollar coins.

Don't nobody want them Sacagaweas.

How's the apartment search going?

My cousin got a Westside Rentals password if you want that.

No, that's all right.

Chad's helping me look.

Sound like he pressing you to get out.

- Nah, it's his fiancé, though.
- [chuckles]

What's wrong?

I just hate moving.

You know, it's stressful and I still got a bunch of stuff to take care of at my old spot.

For real? Like what?

You know, just odds and ends.

What's stopping you?

Time. You know, just finding the time.

Girl, you wanna go in on some of those popcorn shrimp rolls, though?

Oh, thank you!

I was only here trying to be cute, but I am still hungry as hell.

♪ Lookin' like I caught a lick ♪

♪ Caught a lick, run up on me, you get hit... ♪

And then I saw this white n*gga's paycheck.

f*ck, no!

Y'all been there the same amount of time?

Yup. But, I mean, what am I supposed to do?

I can't just roll up to the partners and be like, "Hey, guys, so I accidentally noticed "that you're paying this white man more than me."

- Wait, what? What happened?
- This is so typical.

My aunt found out she made less than some of her white employees.

- Molly: Stop.
- Spoke up about it.

Nothing happened.
She still has to work there.

Man, f*ck that. I'm one of the best lawyers they have.

I'm not one of these work-twice-as-hard,

- pay-me-half-as-much type of b*tches...

- Nah!
- Kelli: Mm-mm,

That's why I make sure my white clients get less on their tax returns.

It's reparations. That's what that is.

I feel like Robin Hood.
You know what I mean?

- It's the facts.
- It's just facts!

I don't care if I get in trouble.

I'm doing it and that's what I marched for.

I took off work so I could walk down the street, and do sh*t to white people finally.

Real talk, don't tell nobody 'cause I'm gonna go to full jail.

- I'm not surprised.
- Like, full ja...

- Like, you ever see "Lock Up Abroad?"
- Mm.

They gonna lock a broad up.

What's going on?

Lawrence isn't coming.

Why would he have been coming?

Because I may have told him to come get his mail.

At this exact time.

[scoffs]

Wow. Okay.

So you threw a party, Lawrence was supposed to come over to said party, and if he would've showed up, what was your plan?

You said that a n*gga always comes back when he thinks that you're good, and look, I'm good.

But that's in Malibu. And I thought you said you didn't want him back.

Bitch, of course I want my man back. What the f*ck? I was lying.

The whole point of saying Malibu is to not lie.

Well, at the time, I thought I was not lying.

- Malibu. You stupid.
- Malibu. Shut the f*ck up.

[door opens]

Whoo! Bad news, ladies.

I drank all the Rossi.

[laughing]

Oh!

Can they come party with us?

Man: Y'all having a party?

Sure, why not?

Oh, I'm gonna put you to bed.

You ever been burped?

- Burped?
- [Kelli laughing]

[music playing]

[chatter]

You live here, right?

Yeah.

- Do you have any herb?
- Yeah, I've got a prescription.

- [gasps]
- Looks like we got "bompany."

- What up, y'all? This a party?
- Oh, hey, Thug... uh, Miles.

No, we're just keeping it low-key.

Yeah, for sure. What's up with your friend?

- Is that you?
- No, you know I'm not gay.

Hey. Hey, you "bute" and you thick.

- What's your name?
- Kelli, but I don't talk to grown men

- who wear limited colors and bang.
- I don't bang, sweetheart.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Well, what if I like both?

Mmm.

[both mouthing]

Hey, whose speaker is this? I'm about to "bonnect" it.

- I got a playlist.
- Yeah, yeah, that's mine.

My phone's already connected, so...

- [music playing]
- What the f*ck?

Oh, sh*t!

Thug Yoda: Hey! Okay.

Yeah!

Hey. Yeah. Hey, look at my n*gga footwork.

- Kelli: Oh, my God!
- Thug Yoda: f*ck that!

Did he choreograph that? Is this choreography?

Thug Yoda: Hey, hey!

Yeah, n*gga!

- Oh, my God.
- Turn the music off.

Yo, Issa, this sh*t is getting kind of out of hand.

[knocks] Hey!

Can y'all turn this down? Some of us got kids.

Bitch, I got kids, too! Turn up!

- Oh, sh*t.
- Oh, sh*t! Fire! Fire, fire!

- Oh, sh*t!
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Women and children! Women and children!

- Let me get your number.
- n*gga, no!

- sh*t!
- Jesus!

[people screaming]

Molly: Oh, my God.

- [panting] Oh, my God.
- Tiffany: Don't touch my braid!

Jesus Christ.

[sighs, mouths word]

[chatter]

You know what?

If I weren't already here, I would come here.

- Do they know we're in this room?
- Yep. Now we just wait.

Okay.

- Um, hey.
- Hi.

What do you guys do?

We give you all the tools you need to succeed.

- Where are you having trouble?
- Uh, do you guys tutor geometry?

- Our teachers don't know it.
- Oh, absolutely!

We have great tutors. I, myself, am an expert in English and Latin.

- Not that you need it.
- I see, I see.

Well, I think I have one of those learning disabilities, so...

Oh, that's great. Oh, I mean, not great, but great because we have...

- Both: Do you guys have pamphlets?
- Oh, yes, we have a bunch!

Here, tell all your friends.

And in the meantime, we can just sit here and...

- Thank you! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
- I'll get the Oreos.

Hold on. Seri... come on, y'all! Really?

- Are y'all serious?
- _

[kids cheering]

Did that really just happen?

Yep.

But, hey, at least they came.
Now we just need to get them to stay.

The food was supposed to make them stay.

True.

We just have to try a different approach.

Next time, I will stand by the food and you can lock the door,

- and then...
- Frieda.

Sometimes you just have to know when to give up.

♪ Done with these n*gg*s ♪

♪ I don't love these n*gg*s ♪

♪ I dust off these n*gg*s ♪

♪ Do it for fun ♪

♪ Don't take it personal ♪

♪ Personally, I'm surprised you called me ♪

♪ After the things I said... ♪

- [knocking on door]
- ♪ Skrrt, skrrt on n*gg*s ♪


♪ Skirt up on n*gg*s ♪

♪ Skirt down, you acting like me ♪

♪ Acting like... hour with you. ♪

sh*t.

[knocking continues]

[sighs]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, you said you had some of my mail?

Yeah. Hold on.

Yeah, I left some stuff in the bathroom, too, so...

Oh. Okay.

[clattering]

Oh, what happened to Frank Ocean?

The pillow?

Oh, it must've disappeared.

You spilled something on it.

Wine.

And Tapatio.

All right, well, uh, I'ma go.

- [gasps, pants]
- [Lawrence moans]

[grunting]

[both moaning]

[water rushing]

Yo, I gotta go.

[singer vocalizing]

♪ I wanna be good to you, baby, ooh ♪

♪ Call me crazy, but I think I found the love of my life ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ Have you ever felt warm on a cold, cold night? ♪

♪ That's how it get you when you least expect it ♪

♪ And you can't reject it ♪

♪ That crazy little tingly feeling ♪

♪ Pain in your chest, yes ♪

♪ You feel that fire ♪

♪ Just let it burn ♪

♪ 'Cause there's no runnin' when it's your turn ♪

♪ Call me crazy, but I think I found the love of my life ♪

♪ Just let it burn ♪

♪ Let it, let it burn ♪

♪ Just let it burn ♪

♪ Let it, let it burn ♪

♪ Call me crazy, but I think I found the love of my life ♪

♪ Feel it creeping in your heart ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, can you feel it tearing you apart? ♪

♪ That's right, that's love ♪

♪ When it comes, you never wanna give it up ♪

♪ And, baby, I'm caught in the light ♪

♪ And I ain't gonna fight it ♪

♪ There's no use in tryin', I'm yours ♪

♪ And I want you to want me the way that I want you and more ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ So, if you're ready to take this ride ♪

♪ We can go all around the world, baby... ♪