01x06 - Rude Kid

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Kim's Convenience". Aired October 2016 - current.*
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"Kim's Convenience" is the funny, heartfelt story of The Kims, a Korean-Canadian family, running a convenience store in Toronto's Regent Park.
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01x06 - Rude Kid

Post by bunniefuu »

Hi.

Just this please.

(Clears throat)

You want something drink?

Eh, you look like you can use it.

Insam Energy Beverage.

Sorry, what?

It's Insam Energy Beverage.

New one, very good, from Korea.

Give to you energy.

Made from...

Ginseng.

No, insam.

No, like, what it's made from, looks like ginseng.

No, what it's made from looks like insam.

Forget it, it's no big deal.

It's very big deal!

Look same. Not the same thing.

1910. You know what happened in the 1910?

Japan att*ck Korea.

You Japanese, bud?

No.

You look Japanese.

No!

Yeah, you look like that guy in The Last Samurai.

Tom Cruise?

No, the Japanese guy.

You look like you is Dutch.

I am Dutch.

How'd you know that?

I can tell.

That's cool.

I know. I am.

So, ginseng is a Japanese name.

Insam is a Korean name. Look same...

Both: Not same thing.

Yeah, you understand?

Yeah, I gotcha.

Hook me up.

Okay, I hook up.

(Exhales)

So?

Yeah, I don't know, just the beans.

Okay, see you.

(Theme music playing)

No, I didn't say I was expecting a better mark.

Let me cut to the chase.

Your photos were technically good.

Very good even.

This mark doesn't say very good.

This assignment was about using a specific filter and that filter was you.

Were these supposed to be self-portraits?

Not you... You.

Where was your family's journey to Canada?

Where was the refugee experience?

My parents aren't refugees.

Well, boat people.

My parents flew here.

You mean fled.

No, flew.

Air Canada probably.

Doesn't your family own that little convenience store off Sherbourne?

How do you know that?

Well, I pass by it every day on my way to therapy.

Why don't I see that store in your work?

It is, in two or three of my photos.

I'll tell you what, I'm going to give you some more time to consider what I'm saying.

(Elevator dings)

And I'm going to leave.

Okay, thank you.

No, thank you!

Hey, Kimch, did you buy groceries?

It was looking kinda sad in there, so I took care of it.

Dude. Come on, man. Use a plate.

Feet.

You got a swiffer?

Yes!

'Cause you never use a shoe mat.

I also bought us a shoe mat.

Did Shannon give you an advance?

Nah, I just thought we were worth it.

Uh-huh.

What?

I'm good with my money.

Two days ago, you borrowed 40 from me.

Yeah, about that...

Thanks, man.

How are you paying for all this?

Don't get bogged down with details.

Just enjoy lemon-fresh floors and a fridge full of food.

And what is the deal with the sandwiches?

Yeah, I got a great deal, but the guy said we got to eat them all by today.

New shirt?

No.

I also bought napkins.

Please use them.

I can't eat garlic. It makes me dizzy.

Check the ingredients.

I did.

No garlic.

Makes me smell like a garlic.

And you won't, because there is no garlic in here.

Does it say no garlic?

No, because that's not how ingredient list work.

It says what is in, not what is not in.

(Door opens)

(Child yells)

How about I just get one with no garlic?

Yes, thank you.

Perfect, one hundred percent no garlic guarantee.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Oh, hello there.

I'm Ms. Murray, one of Janet's professors.

Your kid is making big mess.

He's five.

Ya!

Ya, eh...

This is not a playground. No running in the store.

We don't use the "N" word.

I not use the "N" word.

Oh, the other "N" word.

No.

Mom!

Yes, Oliver, you can move your body.

But why don't you show us how you can hop like a bunny instead?

No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Stop doing like that!

(Packets crumbling)

Stop doing like that.

(Gasps)

Oh, my...

Negative! Negative!

You must apologize immediately.

He not respecting my store.

He need to apologize to me.

Are you serious?

This is my serious face.

And you pay for chip.

He's five!

Nip in bud. You have to be better parenting.

I hardly think that it's my behaviour that needs improvement.

So, you do not discipline your kid?

No!

I'm sorry you had to hear that, bunny. Come on.

You're angry.

You angry.

No, you angry!

You angry!

You angry!

You angry more!

(Door bangs)

Yeah.

(Hip hop music playing)

(Knocks on door)

Hey, Jung.

What are you doing?

Just picking up a friend.

Who are you picking up?

Again with the questions.

Tevya.

Tevya?

Ah, Terry.

Kimchee?

Terry, good to see you, man. Get in.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on.

Just giving a buddy a lift.

So, you wouldn't mind dropping me off at the apartment?

We're actually not going that way.

Yeah, and I'm not sharing.

Can I talk to you out here for a second?

I'll be right with you. Help yourself to a sandwich.

Are you an Uber driver?

No!

Uber wouldn't hire me. This is Dash.

We try harder 'cause we're number seven.

You're using a company car. You're gonna get fired.

Uh, these are expired.

No, they're good till the end of the day.

And nobody's gonna get fired 'cause no one is gonna find out.

How do you know?

Even if they do, that's the beauty!

It's not stealing. We're allowed the discount for personal use.

Personal use doesn't include a side business.

The fifth was yesterday.

Dude. No one's forcing you to eat the sandwich.

Nobody's driving me anywhere either.

I'm so sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.

No, he won't. I'm taking the car back to work.

Can you at least drop me at Ryerson?

Fine, it's along the way.

You're totally screwing with my review.

But I'm not charging you or anything.

I love that.

Put that in the review.

Terry: I will.

You hit my teacher's kid?

I not hit, just a flick.

Yeah, is just a flick.

Have to. Boy was wreck everything.

She already hates me.

What I supposed to do?

Not flick her kid.

Why didn't you try that, Appa?

It's just like this.

What's that? Wind blowing. I don't feel anything.

Oh, was that mosquito hit my head?

Nothing.

No, stop.

I know the flick, but it's inappropriate.

I would flick boy sooner.

Yeah, had no choice.

You always have a choice.

Boy have a choice to not destroy store.

Stop! Okay, keep going.

I think boy deserve two flick.

Ah... Stop doing that.

Ms. Murray.

I heard what happened at the store and...

Your father hit my son.

Actually, he flicked him. He does it to me all the time.

But that doesn't excuse it.

I realize how difficult it must be for you to create art with a father like that.

No, my dad's fine, he's just Korean.

It's how he was raised.

See, this is a classic case of the victim rationalizing the behaviour of the aggressor.

I'm not a victim.

No, because you've channelled your suffering into your art.

It's very raw. Visceral.

What I thought was trepidation in your work is really just suppressed rage.

Wow, that's a better mark.

It's so good seeing you being hopeful again.

Don't let your father take that away from you.

I won't.

(Chuckles)
Jenny said you wanted me.

She did?

(Chuckles) Okay, well, I'd had a few drinks and we were playing "Would You Rather".

Oh, you mean now. Yes.

I wanted to see you about a very serious matter.

What's up?

Someone came in looking for their lost phone, saying they left it in one of our cars.

Only they didn't rent a car from us.

That's odd.

Jung, I think someone here is using our cars to do an Uber.

Okay.

I think it's Terence.

Why Terrance?

Well, the paperwork on that car has gone missing.

And who has access to all the paperwork?

Doesn't it just go in the tray?

Yes, but who's always "misplacing" paperwork from the tray?

Terence is always misplacing his bike helmet too.

Plus he's sweaty, shaky, rarely makes eye contact.

You're just describing Terence.

And this is not about my yogurt.

But seriously, if you're going to steal someone's yogurt, eat the whole thing.

Don't just tunnel down to the fruit then leave it.

Okay. Just let me do a little asking around before you do anything.

Good plan. Chase down a couple of leads.

It'll give me a chance to review the policy on...

Termination. (Sighs)

Between you and me, I've never had to fire anyone before.

Well, hopefully, it won't come to that.

Okay, but I have a very bad feeling it will come to that.

Okay, well, just wait.

Oh, I'll wait...

...for the axe to fall.

And the crane... Ah! Not the crane.

Because I have crane.

And the man with umbrella.

How do you have the crane, the rooster, the moon and the man with the umbrella five times in a row?

Ah, what I can say? They all love me.

You are cheating somehow.

You cheating somehow...

...at losing every time.

What is with the merchandise?

Other day, little kid in the store causing problem.

Crushing chip.

Oh.

At my restaurant, they come in like it is their own living room, wearing capes, Spider-man pyjamas, tripping waiters, throwing chapatis like they're frisbees.

And the parents do nothing.

When I was a child, I could not even speak in public.

Yeah. If I even look at my father...

Tack!

If I forgot to touch my grandmother's feet, swift cricket bat to the backside.

One time I hold a 20-pound English-Korean dictionary over my head outside in a heat wave.

If I drop just one centimetre?

Tack!

Nowadays, children are just tiny maharajas.

Very important.

Is better to raise them so they not think they is so smart.

Not so special.

Then they growing up working hard.

I think we raised our kids the right way, Mr. Kim.

Yeah, I think so.

So, how you daughter doing?

She is not speaking to me anymore.

You talk to your son lately?

We can't do this to Terence.

One hundred percent agree. Or can we?

Look, I did what you said and destroyed the paperwork.

I never told you to do that.

Well, I'm glad one of us was thinking.

We're in the clear now.

So you're suggesting a guy we both like, me, should get fired?

And the guy we hate, Terence, gets a free pass?

I don't hate Terence.

So, you gonna rat out the guy that got you this job?

No, you're going to.

I'm not jumping on a grenade that's already in Terence's pants.

Where you going?

I'm gonna tell her I did it.

You're bluffing.

It's Terence, man! Terence!

What?

What?

You yelled my name.

I yell a lot of things.

Okay, see you.

Can I help you find anything?

New chamomile ice tea? Very calming.

I'd like you to apologize to Oliver.

I don't think so.

It's a very important moment for my son to see that adults can admit to their mistakes.

Then you say sorry.

Hey, can I just grab this?

Yeah, just one second.

You gonna stop him?

Are you gonna apologize?

I'm just gonna leave my money over here.

Okay, see you.

I'm sorry, Oliver, for invading your personal space.

I'm sorry, Oliver, that you having mommy who is spoiling you!

What is that supposed to mean?

Ms. Murray...

Janet.

Your father was just giving me parenting advice.

This coming from a man who thinks that corporal punishment is de rigueur.

What is Doo-ree-ger? What she talking?

Do not yell at her. This ends now.

I think there's been a misunderstanding.

Janet's confided in me how she's been the victim of physical and psychological abuse.

Abuse?

What? Janet?

Umma: Who's doing that?

I didn't say anything about abuse.

I don't think anybody said anything about abuse.

You told me how your suffering has informed your work.

No, you told me that. I just didn't...

...disagree.

You suffer because of Appa?

Janet, I make you suffer?

I never said suffer.

I just said you are who you are.

You know how you can be.

How he can be?

I make mistake. Your kid is not worst behaved here.

My dad didn't abuse me, okay!

(Shushing)

It was just a flick! A flick.

You better go.

And take monster with you.

I had no idea how bad things were.

Go! Please.

Okay, Oliver. Yes, put down the crackers.

Because, yes, we're leaving now.

(Oliver screaming)

I'll give you some iPad time if you leave with Mummy now!

Umma, you know I don't think that about Appa, right?

Every day, Appa is looking out the window.

You know what he looking for?

Illegally parked Japanese cars?

He is looking for Jung.

Hoping...

And for school grade, you throw his mistake in his face?

How you can do that?

Hey.

Hey.

We need to talk.

Okay, super-serious.

You found out something, didn't you?

You can't fire Terence.

It'd be a big mistake.

I get it.

You want to do it for me in a misguided but pretty amazing attempt to keep my hands clean.

I don't think that...

(Shushing)

You, Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armour.

The least we can do is deal with this together.

I'm the one that should be fired.

Oh, good. Role play.

Ah, you be the firee.

I'll be the firer.

They explain everything in the company policy.

How to fire a depressed employee, a pregnant employee, an employee with whom you're having a personal relationship.

Can you imagine?

How would that even work?

I can make this easy for you.

Ah, that's sweet.

But I don't think it's supposed to be easy.

In fact, this is one of the hardest things a manager or assistant manager has to do.

We're going to have to sit Terence down...

Neutral environment...

I did it.

Did what?

I used one of the cars.

You did the Uber?

It's not Uber, it's Dash.

Wait, so it wasn't Terence?

I didn't say that.

I just mean it wasn't Jung.

You said it was you.

Only because I thought you were f*ring Jung.

Okay, I'll clean out my bin.

Wait.

He's not doing this anymore.

Only 'cause he got caught.

Am I right?

But I knew about this.

And I didn't tell you.

Okay, um...

Well...

Unfortunately, I have no choice but to...

Okay, I'm not going to do that, or that.

Going to pretend I didn't see that.

Oh, okay...

I will officially log this offence.

Maybe not in my computer, but a file that will probably just stay in my office.

Thank you. It won't happen again.

It better not.

Can I just say one more thing?

Nope, we're done.

Good. Glad we cleared that up.

Appa, you need any help with those?

I'm glad you got more of those.

Because we were out of those. And now we got more.

So that's good.

Appa, I'm sorry.

You think I was a bad Appa to you growing up?

If you think I was a bad Appa to you, go ahead, flick.

I don't think you were a bad Appa.

I think you were a great Appa.

I love you and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let her say those things.

(Gasps)

If you think I was a bad daughter...

I wasn't - going to say flick me.

Too late. Too bad, so sad.

(Chuckles)

You finish.

Six more case in the van.

(Chuckles)

(SIGHS)

You think I'm too angry?

I think you angry enough.

You think you is too angry?

No.

Then what is problem?

No problem.

Okay. Good night.

Good night.

Maybe I too strict with Janet.

Not too strict.

Not too, little strict.

Janet is good student, good girl because we is good parent.

We is strict enough.

Yeah, I think so too.

Anything else you want to talk about?

No.

Okay, go to sleep.

Yeah. Good night.

Good night.

(Sighs)

We eat all of cake?

(Sighs)

Ice cream too?

Whoa!

What?

All the talking make me hungry.

Ow.

I'm come att*ck you slowly.

Please.

I'm att*ck with the left hand, huh?

Oh, so slow. What I do?

Help, kiddo, save me please.

Okay, Mr. Kim.

Hiya!

Oh!

You is Bruce Lee and Jet Li all rolled in to one plump Korean.

You okay?
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