01x10 - Detente

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Divorce". Aired: October 2016 to August 2019.*
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"Divorce" revolves around a couple going through a long, drawn-out divorce.
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01x10 - Detente

Post by bunniefuu »

(music playing)

Robert: A rockin' rock wall, batting cages for the teens, Skee-Ball for the toddlers, soccer for the girls, the Tramp Zone.

Hey, Mom and Dad, why not take a load off and hoist a tall, frosty one at our full-service Micropub?

A place for family, a place for play, a place that's called FunSpace USA.


(applause)

Thank you, gentlemen.

Thanks for being here this morning, and those of you that are on the...

On the conference call.

(all greeting)

Listen, before we get started, anybody wanna freshen up their coffee?

You know what? I'll take a coffee... black.

Gerry. Uh, Sebastian, uno más café, por favor.

No offense, Gerald, but didn't we fire you?

Don, to be fair, I fired you, too.

Okay? But, uh, as a divorce lawyer, Gerry, you were a dipshit.

Guilty as charged. (chuckles)

But he knows his way around LLCs and zoning laws, and he's cheap.

What kind of outlay are we looking at as far as bringing it up to code?

No, it's up to code.

You might need to add some venting if there's gonna be food prep, but that's cheap.

It's an ugly space, but you paint it kid colors and no one will give a sh*t.

Kid colors, nobody gives a sh*t.

Thank you, Craig.

(men on phone agree)

I keep looking for a way this doesn't make sense, but I'm not finding it.

That's because it doesn't exist, Nick.

You've got an underserved market, you've got a reasonable price point, you've got low overhead.

I think you may be onto something here, Robert.

It's nice of you to say that, Nick.

This is not me being nice.

This is me looking to make some money.

And that is the effing name of the game, man.

We're here to make money.

(men on phone agree)

Okay, see, look. We keep things lean and tight in terms of operating costs on this FunSpace, when we go to open FunSpace Yonkers...

(phone chiming)

...the... the... all the operating costs of the second facility will be covered by the flagship.

Did you call Mom?

Did you call Dad?

Tom!

God, I told you they're not picking up.

We should've gotten the bus.

No, dummy. We only take the bus when we're staying at Mom's.

When it's Dad's day, he comes to pick us up.

But it's Friday, so it's Mom.

It's not Mom, it's Dad.

(sighs)

f*ck!

You're not allowed to swear.

I'm telling.

God, your voice is annoying.

Your voice is stupid.

(Lila grunts)

Where are you going?

I'm walking to Mom's.

But it's miles away.

All right, stay here.

...and serving him papers at the basketball game...

...that was just too... too ugly.

Your hands are clean. You didn't do that.

I did that. You don't have to act ugly. That's what I'm here for.

I would just rather not embarrass him unnecessarily, especially in front of our children.

Trust me and brace yourself.

It's gonna get uglier before it gets any prettier.

Do you think Tony Silvercreek isn't sitting up in his office right now thinking of ways to make you hurt?

No. He seems like not a nice man.

Don't worry about him or Robert or anything.

I have a few more cards up my sleeve.

Yes, uh, Max also said he had some cards up his sleeves, but right now I would prefer some solid legal maneuvering rather than a magic show.

We're gonna do a full and complete accounting of any money that's coming in and make sure no more money is going out.

That sounds reasonable. That sounds prudent.

This might make his current situation a little uncomfortable.

On a scale of one to 10...

10 being he's giving blowjobs for beer money...

This would be...?

A hard eight.

Yeah, okay.

Why are we going this way?

This isn't the way!

It is the way.

It's just a shortcut.

Tom.

Tom, I'm not walking anymore.

Tom, wait for me!

(screams, grunts)

Lila!

Tom, it's okay.

Everything is gonna be okay.

(elevator dings)

Frances.

Hey.

Where is she?

She's okay, she's okay.

How come you haven't been answering your phone?

Because I can't get a signal in here and I... I wanna go outside to try to call you, but I don't wanna leave Tom.

I can't leave Lila.

What the f... happened?

(elevator dings)

Hey, Tom, do you mind if Dad and I just go over there for a second?

No, it's all right.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

You want a Sprite or something, buddy?

Uh, no. I think I'm all right.

Okay.

Listen, it was Tom.

He was supposed to get himself and Lila on the bus, and I... I don't know, I guess he just got mixed up about the schedule.

And now he thinks it's all his fault.

Oh, sh*t.

I mean, he had the pick-up schedule printed out, but, I don't know, I guess he just read it wrong.

Oh, my God. I was so scared.

I know. I was, too.

On the way over, I just kept having this terrible visual.

I mean, I knew... I knew she was okay, but I just kept picturing her lying in a hospital bed... feeling like she's not important, you know?

Like, just lying there, worrying about whether she's important enough for us to just forget all of this and just, you know... Just keep her safe.

These accidents can happen.

I know, but I don't want Tom to feel bad about this because this is our fault.

You're absolutely right, and we're gonna work harder and we're gonna do better.

Okay?

Okay.

Robert: Everybody's gonna be okay.

Frances: Okay.

Yeah.

God, look at them.

Like all they have is each other.

Come on.

Don't do that.

We're gonna be fine.

Okay.

Lila: Hi.

Hi.

(gasps) Did they give you a teddy bear?

(music playing)

Man on P.A.: Rafael, you have a customer at the deli department.

Two for the price of one.

They're practically giving it away.

Get rid of the...

Mommy?

Mommy?

Where's my mommy?

Uh, I... I don't know.

I'm just... I'm just buying craft ales.

(sniffles)

That's not your mommy, is it?

No.

What does your mommy look like?

Like you.

She looks like me? Oh, well, aren't you a little sweetie pie?

You like hot dogs?

Mm-hmm.

If you promise not to cry, I'll buy you a pack of hot dogs.

What do you think about that, huh?

Maybe if we just look over here. Oh, here we go! Perfect.

Hi. Excuse me.

Do you happen to know if there's a missing parents department for little children who've lost their parents?

(stammering) You should take him...

Never mind. Thank you. We're gonna keep looking. Thank you, though.

God bless him.

I feel bad, but we do not have time for that right now.

Okay, let's find your mommy.

Woman: Wyatt!

That's your mom?

(sighs)

That's what you think I look like?

Mm-hmm.

Sorry. He pulls this sh*t all the time.

Come on, Wyatt, let's go. I don't have time for this.

(whimpers)

I think he's just a little bit scared.

Thank you for helping me find your mommy.

Go on, now.

How many times do I have to tell you?

You stay where I can see you.

I don't have time for this BS every time we go somewhere.

What about the hot dogs?

We have hot dogs at home.

Come on.

Bye.

(music playing)

(music continues)


So, Rick Wakeman left because of Jon Anderson?

Well, yes and no.

Um, when Yes recorded "Tales of Topographical Oceans," it was really Jon Anderson's dream project.

But Rick Wakeman thought it was a little pretentious 'cause it was a double album with only four songs.

And the songs averaged 20 minutes in length.

Whoa, 20 minutes?

I know, right?

That's like 10 Lady Gaga songs.

So, after the Topographic Tour, Rick Wakeman left the band so he could record his own solo album.

It's probably in here. Oh, hi. Hi.

(music turns off)

Look, now you both have bandages.

Dad said he's wearing it in solidarity.

Yep. The wounded rule.

Um, just, uh... just wrapping it up here.

It's okay. Stay.

You sure?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, thanks.

I was just gonna... I was gonna get into Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's "Brain Salad Surgery" after this.

Excellent. Excellent. Pretty lucky.

So, after months of hustle and hard work borne of a singular vision, today it just comes down to some scribbling on a stack of documents.

Hope you guys don't mind.

I took the liberty of purchasing some colored pens to commemorate what we've accomplished here today.

Can I have the blue one?

You don't get to pick your color, numb nuts.

Yeah, you can have the blue one, Gerry.

Thank you, Robert.

You're welcome.

Uh, just like President Johnson's w*r on Poverty started with a single stroke of a quill...

Uh, hey, Robert. I'm sorry.

Can I get a word with you for a moment?

What's going on, George?

The bank called.

Tsk, okay.

Not to worry. Be right back.

(speaking Spanish)

Listen, everybody's check cleared except yours.

They said your assets are frozen.

Court order.

What?

(sighs)

What's going on, Robert?

Uh, just... it's just a tactical hiccup, Nick. Just give me a second.

At least we got some free pens.

Do you want one? What color do you want?

I don't know who your wife's lawyer is, but, I mean, wow!

My crazy f*cking sister had that lawyer, my brother-in-law would be in prison.

f*ck.

Uh, we're gonna have to push the closing back just a couple of days.

Work out some details.

No, Robert, you don't have a couple of days, all right?

These other guys who want the space have a better offer on the table already.

George, you've been telling me that since I met you.

How many days are we talking about here?

Nick, can you just give me a second, please?

Sure, sure. Just what kind of hiccup are we looking at?

Nick, can you just give me a f*cking minute?!

(sighs) Please.

Okay, okay.

Robert, hey, sorry.

I'm sorry. (pats back)

Take your time.

Thank you.

f*ck.
You did the right thing, Tom. Calling 9-1-1 and all that.

At first, I was like, "Oh, ess-hit, am I gonna be in trouble?"

And then my instincts just kind of kicked in.

Grace under pressure.

When I was about your age, a kid got his leg caught in a wheat thresher.

I just about pissed my pants, I was so scared.

And then he turned around and he looked at me.

I'll never forget that look as long as I live.

It was like he was saying, "Take me with you. Please, please, take me with you."

And then I got in the car and...

Promise me that the end of this anecdote is somewhere in sight.

It just made me think about adoption and having children.

And I just have to tell you, Nick, that I definitely do not want that, you know?

If you'd seen this mother, ugh, she was a mess!

And this kid had just totally trashed her.

You could see in her eyes that she would've k*lled to be me.

Is it possible to slow down on the wine or are we just way beyond that point now?

It's just a spritzer. I like our lives, honey.

We've only just rediscovered us.

I mean, why would we wanna strap on su1c1de vests now, you know?

(tapping)

Hello, can anyone hear me? Hello.

My glass is not clinking very well.

(people laughing)

Not to embarrass you, Frances, but readers of the "New York Times"'

"Weekend Activities in the Hudson Valley" section might've noticed an item describing this "small jewel box of a gallery focusing on the works of local artists."

And I'm so proud of you, Frances.

And I just think we should raise a glass to Frances and the Hudson River Contemporary gallery.

All: To Frances!

Woman: Speech, speech!

Aw, thank you, Dallas. Thank you very much.

And... and thank all of you for being here.

Thank you.

Diane: We can't hear you!

Oh.

Man: Shh, shh!

Sorry. Thank you. Uh, I just said thank you.

Um, also, I wanna thank the "New York Times" for their teeny, tiny type and their very kind mention for this amazing turnout.

Many of you know that this gallery is a dream that I have had...

(chuckles) for a very, very, very long time.

So, this opening is really nothing short of miraculous, which makes me indescribably happy and, um... and shocked and nervous.

Diane: Don't be nervous, Frances.

We all support you.

Shh.

Frances: Thank you again.

Zip.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm... I'm grateful, you know?

I'm grateful to all of my friends and my family for their patience, for bearing with me while I summoned the gumption, the courage, um, and some might say the balls to finally get this place going.

(all chuckling)

So, uh, yeah, enjoy the space, walk around, talk to some of the artists.

Um, the wine is free, the paintings and the art are not.

Um...

(all laughing)

(music playing)

(chatter)

Is he being good to you, all things considered?

Well, I mean, neither one of us is being particularly good to the other, but, you know, apparently that's...

That's how these things go, so...

Well, you know I'm fond of him, but he's got a lot to answer for.

Daddy, I can't believe I'm gonna do this to you again. I really... I really can't.

And I... I have, like, absolutely no time to go into the details, but I feel like I can't...

I can't not be honest with you.

It wasn't Robert who had the affair.

It was me.

And I know, you know, at Christmas we talked about there were all sorts of contributing factors, but, really, in the end it was the affair that, you know...

That just did us in.

Wish you hadn't told me that.

It breaks my heart a little.

Oh, Daddy, please don't... Don't say that.

Oh, like I say, it's a hell of a thing.

It's...

So, am I carrying this new information to your mother?

No, no, no, no, no. I will do it. I'll tell her.

Just don't let her give you a hard time about it.

She's had something of a complicated life herself.

All right, if you'll excuse me, I am gonna get a drink and, uh, enjoy my grandchildren.

It wasn't just a business opportunity, Tony.

I had a vision.

Yeah, I know.

I had all the moving parts pulled together.

Everybody was about to put ink on paper, and she swoops in and she f*cking ruined it.

Who did?

Uh, the Queen of England, Tony.

Frances! Who the f*ck are we talking about?

Now, Robert, you don't know that for sure.

It could've been that lawyer of hers.

Elaine, you know, she likes to freestyle.

Plus Frances, she might not have known anything about this.

Yeah, maybe.

I don't know. What do we do?

We don't do anything.

We wait until Monday morning when I can get ahold of Elaine, and then I find out what's what.

Yeah, that's not gonna work for me.

Hey, Robert, don't do anything stupid.

Look, I'm not gonna do anything stupid, all right?

I just... I wanna go see my wife.

Well, now, you see, that's stupid.

I just wanna see my wife, have her look me in the eye, and I want her to see what she has done to me.

Wow. You know what?

Do not do that.

I think I'm gonna take it from here, Tony.

Appreciate you being such a good listener.

Good night.

(music playing)

(chatter)

Hi, Frances.

Oh, come on.

Funny coincidence, I was just perusing the "New York Times" and I... I saw a mention of your gallery.

You were perusing the fine print of the "Weekend Activities in the Hudson Valley" section?

Really?

Well, it was the online version.

I may have been, you know, Googling some...

I was Googling something.

I was Googling your name.

I Google you every night.

I do.

Yeah, okay. Sorry, go on.

You Google my name.

Is something funny? Should I leave?

No, no, no, no, no. No, stay, stay.

Stay. Or go. I don't know.

Whatever... whatever feels right to you.

Or, you know, stick around, buy a painting.

Mingle.

Frances, you think it would be out of the question for me to telephone you sometime?

Yeah, sure. Telephone me.

Or don't. It's your life, Julian.

Do whatever you want.

It's not easy to tell someone that you Google them.

Hey. Was that him?

Yes, I am... I am very sad to report that is him.

Wow.

I thought he was French.

Yeah, I thought he was, uh...

Jesus, I don't know what I thought.

(sighs)

Oh, sh*t.

(distant train horn blaring)

(music playing)

(chatter)

Hey.

Hi.

Is it okay that I stopped by?

Yeah, of course.

No, no, don't get up. Don't get up.

Oh.

I'll crouch next to you.

Oh, gosh, I was just looking around.

It's quite an achievement.

I can't believe that you did it all alone.

Well, I didn't do it all alone.

You know, I had... I had a contractor, I had electricians, painters.

(chuckles)

Artists.

Uh-huh.

Still, you had a vision you saw through to the end.

It's quite an achievement.

And your dream.

Now it's here.

I mean, bringing together all those moving parts, it's not easy.

I should know.

No, I know.

How's your thing going?

It's good. Yeah, it's, you know, chugging along.

Pulling all the pieces together.

Good.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's good.

I've really been wanting to thank you for everything that you've done for our family these last few years.

I mean, the simple truth is you're the one that kept the roof over our heads.

I've waited a long time to hear you say that.

(sighs)

All right.

Good night.

Good night.

(sighs)

(crickets chirping)

(phone chiming)

Hey.

I didn't wake you up, did I?

No. Well, yes.

But, actually, I was gonna...

I was gonna call you, but then I fell asleep.

Oh, really? Well, what's going on?

Oh, I was thinking that, um, you know, I've been working so hard to get the gallery together and I just... I just haven't spent, you know, any time with the kids lately.

Hey, you know, they understand.

They're really proud of you.

Well, that's sweet.

But, um, anyway, I was just... I was wondering, I know it's your weekend, but do you think maybe I could swap with you?

Then I could have the kids till Sunday.

Well, I...

I had sort of planned on...

I was gonna take them to Windham to go skiing, you know?

And when I mentioned it to them, they got very excited.

Oh.

(sighs) Yeah, I guess it's cool.

They've had a rough week.

I think... I think you're right.

A ski trip would be good for them.

Oh, wow, thank you.

Thanks. That's great.

Uh, oh! Wait, you called me. What's up?

I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was with the gallery.

I know you really... You really worked hard on it.

Thank you.

Sometimes you put a lot of hard work into a project, but it just doesn't pan out.

Life's funny like that.

Well, just, you know... you just gotta keep plugging away.

Something good will happen eventually.

(sighs) Sure. Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

Good night.

Bye.

(bottle clinking, shatters)

(shatters)

(objects clattering)

(distant dog barking)

(electricity buzzing)

(music playing)


I mean, if you're just gonna snow tube, there kind of isn't a point.

Well, I can't ski because my leg still hurts.

(touch tones beeping)

Woman: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

You know, I was almost nearly k*lled.

You weren't almost nearly k*lled.

But you fell really, really hard.

I told ya.

(music volume increases)

Well, I almost broke my leg, right?

Okay, you win! Jeez.

♪ Ride a painted pony, let the spinning wheel turn... ♪

(siren wailing)

Oh, crap.

(radio turns off)

Lila: Did you forget to put the new sticker on?

No, it's there.

Maybe I was speeding by accident?

So, I'm just gonna pull...

It didn't feel like you were speeding.

No, right? Wait.

Tom, can you get the, um...

Can you get the registration from the glove...?

(police radio chatter)

Hi. Sorry. Was I speeding? I never speed, but I...

License and registration, please.

Yeah, sure.

Can you step out of the car, please?

Of course.

Mom?

Two minutes. Two minutes.

(door beeping)

(door closes)


Are these your children?

Are these my children? Are you kidding me?

Yes or no, ma'am?

Yes.

Okay, Mrs. DuFresne. Thank you.

Now, I need to ask this...

Are you authorized to have custody over your children at this point in time?

Yes.

I mean, it's my husband's weekend, but he gave me permission.

I'm taking them skiing, I'm... I'm not...

Was this permission filed and approved by the judge who presided over your custody hearing?

Oh, God.

Look, there haven't been any custody hearings because we haven't had any custody disputes.

Until now.

We're not even technically divorced yet.

My husband approved my taking the kids skiing.

Verbally.

Yes, verbally.

I mean, that's all we... This is ridiculous!

All right, all right. Let's not alarm the children. Let's just calm down.

Just sit tight here and we'll see if we can get to the bottom of this.

Dispatch: T-48, central.

Yep.

Are the kids okay?

Yeah, I got her here with the kids.

You need backup?

Yeah, I need another car, please.

10-4.

(phone chiming)

I just wanna let you know that your children are trying very hard not to cry because they are terrified that I'm getting arrested.

Now, I imagine that, um, somehow you didn't bother to think through this imbecilic move.

You simply wanted to f*ck me at any cost.

But you have made a terrible, awful, irreparable mistake.

And you've lost, Robert.

You have lost everything now.

(music playing)

(vocalizing)

♪ Sit down, take a look at yourself ♪
♪ Don't you want to be somebody? ♪
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