03x01 - And the Rise of Chaos

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Librarians". Aired: December 2014 to February 2018.*
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A secret group of librarians set off on adventures in an effort to save mysterious, ancient artifacts. Based on the Librarian movie franchise.
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03x01 - And the Rise of Chaos

Post by bunniefuu »

(voices overlapping)

Deidre.

Honey...?

Can we go now?

I'm dying here.

What?

I thought we were gonna see mummies and shrunken heads.

If I see one more urn, I'm gonna lose it.

Broaden your horizons, Barry.

Recording: So painted wood statues were common during all dynasties of the old kingdom.

This decorative urn from the 13th century was from Pharaoh Akhenaten to his first wife...

Voice: But you're not really interested in any of this, are you, Barry?

What the... What the hell?

Hey, honey, you're not gonna believe this. This thing just...

Voice: Go through the door on your right, if you want to see something really interesting.

Okay, I guess.

Voice: Yes, keep going.

To the right.

Almost there.

(door creaking)

In the center of the room.

All right. That's more like it.

(creaking)

(chuckling)

(camera beeps, clicks)

(fluttering)

(gagging)

(screaming)

(trumpet blaring)

(whispering)

(whispering continues)

(gasping, groaning)

Flynn, how we doin'?

Don't know how long I can hold these goat heads.

I'm climbing, I'm climbing.

And technically, it's a ram's head.

Interesting fact, the ram's head is a Druid symbol of power and virility.

More interesting fact, Druids are trying to k*ll us.

(screaming)

I need those translations.

Give me a second!

Okay.

Stone: It's, um...

Looks like ancient Gaulish mixed with third-century astrological symbols.

Ezekiel! Please tell me you're working on an escape plan!

Uh, way ahead of you, as always.

(grunting)

The entrance appears to be blocked by a board game.

All right, all right, all right.

The markings read, "North... northern king..."

No. "The King... when the king reaches the north, the light will reveal itself."

Ah! Gwyddbwyll!

Oh, my God. He's having a stroke.

No, no. Gwyddbwyll.

Ancient Celtic precursor to chess, actually.

Seven-by-seven grid, 21 pieces, 72,804 possible moves...

(rumbling)

Uh... 72,803 possible moves.

Okay, I can see the board.

It's... two up, two across, three down, another left. One up.

(creaking)

(crackling, creaking)

Uh...

(gasps, yells)

Ugh!

Ezekiel: Boom. Just saved the world, again.

Cassandra: Did you see us back there?

We're unstoppable!

(laughs) What could possibly go wrong?

Don't do that.

Do what?

Look, I'm from Oklahoma, okay?

It's not easy for me to get b*at up by...

By a girl?

By my boss.

Okay, "Van Damme," try the punching bag.

Give it your best sh*t.

Good impact, but you use too much energy.

You'll punch yourself out fighting like that.

Here, try cocking your fist at 130-degree angle from your forearm, bend at the elbow.

Tae Kwon Do jab.

Why are you doing this?

What's with all the practice and the training?

You have a lot of raw talent.

But you've never taken the time to learn.

Do you know how many years Flynn trained with Excalibur?

Baird, I'm a brawler, okay? I'm a brawler.

That's what I do. I've been a brawler since I was a kid.

I can't learn this stuff.

Yes, you can.

You're a Librarian.

You have multiple PhDs in history and art.

We're just gonna add martial arts to that list.

Okay, but the fighting? That's what we got you for.

I'm more than just your bodyguard.

All right, we'll pick this up tomorrow.

130.

Stupid.

(bangs)

Baird? Baird!

Man: 'Night, Mr. Stanek.

Good night, Curtis.

Oh...

Here you go, old man.

Perfect. Good as new.

(screaming)

(voices chanting) Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Whoa!

Stendec...

(screaming)

Stendec...

Stendec, Stendec...

(gasps)

Stendec, Stendec...

Stendec, Stendec...

(grunts)

Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec...

(screams)

No. No!

(screams) No! No!

Well, my examination is complete.

And now the fabled Nwyfre Runestone is ready to be housed in its new home.

So what is that? That's five artifacts in four weeks?

That's pretty impressive, right?

Go ahead, Jenkins, say it.

We're the best team you've ever seen.

Your mothers did not hug you enough, did they?

(chuckles) I know that face.

That's the "I should be happy, but instead I'm unnecessarily worried" face.

Oh, yeah? And what's my "If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna punch you in the face" face?

That one. What's goin' on?

The team's on a roll. We're doin' great.

That's exactly when mistakes happen.

One day you're on top and then, boom!

Fall of Rome, collapse of the Mayan Empire, Myspace...

Well, you're a "library's half empty" kinda gal today.

I just want everyone to be better.

Before, when I saw Dulaque cut the Loom of Fate, I saw...

Alternate versions of themselves.

I know. I was there. Although I wasn't there, because I was an alternate version of myself.

I saw their true potential. And they're gonna be amazing Librarians, Flynn, like you.

I just have to get them there faster.

We can't wait 10 years.

What's the hurry?

I don't know.

It's just this feeling I have, Flynn.

I can't explain it. Call it "Guardian's intuition."

Well, I think that you are worrying...

(pops, crackles)

...for no reason... whatsoever.

Ya think?

(hissing)

What the hell just happened?

How did it just explode like that?

It must have been trying to tell us something important.

Now we'll never know.

Sure we will.

Sure we will. Take a look around you.

There's pieces of the book everywhere.

All we have to do is think of this as a jigsaw puzzle, right?

Piece what we can back together...

Find the parts that are missing.

That's the spirit.

So the clipping book bursts into flames.

Big deal. We can handle that, right?

No problemo.

This is a huge problemo.

The clipping book bursting into flames? Are you kidding me?

Your grace under pressure is always admirable, sir.

I told you my "spidey senses" were tingling, but you wouldn't listen.

What...?

See?

Okay, please. Let's just concentrate on the matter at hand.

Now we know the clipping book shows us events that have happened or are about to happen, so obviously there are so many events on the horizon, that it overloaded.

You know, we could do this a lot more quickly if we could just use a reconstituting spell.

We don't use magic, Cass. We're Librarians.

We use our brains.

Yes, but my brain is telling me we should use magic. I mean, we have the greatest collection of magic in the whole world, right here in this building.

And we never put it work for us.

I do.

You do what?

Use magic. All the time.

Right now I have that knit-wheel thingy fixing some of my sweaters.

(clicking)

The Spinning Wheel of Clotho? That's not a toy, Jones.

You guys know why the Library exists?

To save the world from things like that.

Yes, but if we just learned how to use it properly...

Jenkins: There is always a price to pay.

Now, I do not disagree that wielding magic can have its benefits, but I have seen too many corrupted by its power.

We don't need to use magic.

We have the finest collection of minds in the world right here in this very room.

Now, what is the clipping book trying to tell us?

This is all we could piece together so far...

Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes.

Obviously, the clipping book wants us to go to "Pumpernickel Rubber Bubbles."

Ring a bell?

Anyone?

What about "Potato Duck Girdle"?

Okay, how 'bout "Kidney Weasel..."

Okay, fine, we'll just do it the old-fashioned way.

It's a gigantic anagram with missing pieces.

So we need to calculate the probable outcomes, divided by the number of probable events... in this case, letters, possible words.

And then determining the likely odds, we can reduce the number of probable outcomes until... "Science-Museum-Boston."

Ah! "Story of Man" exhibit.

"Story of Man."

Opened last week.

Jenkins, we need a door.

Please, I already told you everything I know.

Tell it to us again. From the beginning.

I was cleaning up.

And then these mannequins came to life.

Mannequins? From the museum?

And att*cked me!

Then I passed out and I woke up here.

That's all I know.

Who are you people anyway?

He doesn't know anything.

Cut him loose.

(yelps, groans)

Cassandra: I can't believe it. Do you guys realize that this museum currently has the Antikythera mechanism, only considered to be the first astronomical clock of its kind?

Keep it together, Cassandra.

Ah, forget the clock.

Would you guys look at that awesome submarine?

Dude, that's a 1950s Barbel-class diesel electric, single propeller shaft.

Ezekiel: AKA, the coolest thing ever.

Gotta go, man. I've wanted to do it since I was a kid.

Guys, we're here to work. Remember?

How 'bout you three guys go check out what's inside and Stone and I will investigate the sub?

We'll go out here... there's probably so many clues...

Security guard: Thank you. Exhibit is closed, move along.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Open again in an hour. Thank you, move along. Scootch along.

Sorry, we're closed.

What... what happened?

The janitor freaked out, started trashing the place.

Probably hammered, if you ask me.

Started rantin' about spirits... ? Something like that.

Do you happen to know where he is now?

What are you, cops?

No. We're Librarians.

Boston General. Somebody dumped him on the front steps and split.

Thank you very much.

Looks like we're in the right place.

Okay, Flynn and I are gonna go talk to this janitor, you guys stay here, see what you can find out about these "spirits."

I know just the place to look.

And no submarines.

But it's on...

No subs.

It's right...

No subs.

You go out the door.

No subs, no subs, no subs.

(siren wails)

Hello. Jell-O?

Get away from me. Nurse?

No Jell-O?

You do not want the Jell-O?

I've already told you people everything I know.

Nurse?

You see the mark on his neck?

Yeah.

A distinct nozzle pattern with a slight impression.

I would say, judging from the film around his mouth and the cloudiness in the eyes, that he's probably been injected with a powerful sedative, midazolam most likely, in the past 12 hours.

He's been interrogated by the government.

Injection g*ns with midazolam is textbook black ops.

Like a secret group tracking magic.

Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

Other than us, I mean?

I knew this was gonna happen.

With magic out there, it was only a matter of time before the government put together their own task force...

(gasps) this is bad, Flynn.

This is wonderful.

Are you sure you don't want any of this?

Enough with the Jell-O!

What are we gonna do about him?

Who?

The Johnson.

Oh. Right. Um...

Okay, Mr. Johnson. We are in fact from the government.

And if you don't tell us exactly what happened at the museum yesterday, we will be forced to give you another injection.

Except this time, with a concentrated lethal dose.

You're holding a pen.

No, I'm not.

I can see it in your hands. It says "Bic."

Okay, that didn't work.

How's 20 bucks sound?

50. Hmm?

That guy wasn't kiddin'.

The janitor trashed the joint.

Why would he do this?

Ezekiel: Well, no one likes to drink alone.

Grabbed the only mates he had and bingo, instant costume party.

I don't think so.

All these mannequins, they're not where they're supposed to be.

It's almost as if...

As if they moved on their own.

They cornered me and then I passed out.

That's all I remember.

Did these mannequins try to make contact with you in any way?

Did they give you something, did they say something?

They said a word, over and over again.

Stan... something.

I don't know. I was scared outta my mind.

Please, Mr. Johnson. Try and remember.

What word was it?

Stan... die.

Stan... Stan-dike.

"Stan-deck."

That's it. Stendec.

Stendec, Stendec, Stendec...

(patients chanting) Stendec, Stendec, Stendec... Stendec, Stendec, Stendec, Stendec... Stendec, Stendec, Stendec...

The thing is, we've seen possessed people before. This was different.

They kept saying this word over and over again.

"Stendec."

Comatose patients and museum mannequins.

Interesting because when animate subjects are possessed, the culprits can be any number of vengeful spirits.

Like the South American Llorona, or the Chinese Mogwai, et cetera, et cetera.

But when inanimates are possessed...

Mr. Carsen? Listening?

Spirits, possessions, inanimate objects, check.

What are you doing?

Oh, I just love this.

Reminds me of telling ghost stories around a campfire.

But incomplete without... s'mores.

(sighs) Charming.

Oh, my...

Inanimates are almost always possessed by animistic deities.

They've been around for centuries.

The most famous of course being gargoyles...

Oh... Mm, sorry, Forgot.

Stumpy...

Jenkins: Yeah, well, there you go.

What the janitor saw, mannequins, they did not try to cause harm.

They merely chanted.

My belief, they were possessed by animistic deities or "household spirits."

And they reside with the sole purpose of protecting valuables in the home.

And when a thr*at is perceived...

Spirits warn against impending danger.

Like a magical security system.

Yeah, but that doesn't explain the sing-along at the hospital.

Sure it does, because Animistic deities travel through unconscious states.

And since the patients at the hospital were all comatose, they were the perfect vessels.

Okay, so they were trying to warn us.

About what?

Well, my bet would be your answer lies in the word they were chanting.

(muttering) What did you... Stendec?

Stendec.

Stendec.

What if... what if they were saying "stekhdak"?

It's an Ancient Egyptian word. It's pre-2600 BC.

Hasn't been spoken a long time, so no one really knows the correct pronunciation.

But it means... "Hours of the day."

So, a calendar?

Clock?

There's a clock at the museum!

The Antikythera mechanism!

I know, keep it together.

Guess we're goin' back to Boston.

Great! And maybe while we're there we could check out the awesome...

Eve, Flynn: No sub.

(growls)

Hey, pally? What the hell you think you're doin'?

You plan on cleanin' up this mess?

Problem, Sull?

No. I got this. Just another drunk.

Listen, pal, you're gonna have to leave.

What are you still doin' here?

I told you, I don't need your stupid help!

Who you callin' stupid, fatso? Ugh!

(shattering)

(yelling)

(yelling continues)

(yelling stops)

Guys, the Antikythera mechanism is a big deal.

Do you have any idea how big a deal it is?

I have a feeling you're about to tell us.

Because it is a big deal!

It was discovered in 1901 by a couple of sponge divers off the Greek island of Antikythera.

Yeah, okay, but I wanted to tell the...

The mechanism, when functioning, was able to track the moon, track the sun, predict eclipses. Nobody knows who made it, but radiocarbon dating puts it back about 150 BC.

Okay, but the truly interesting thing...

That date predates similar technology by at least a thousand years.

Okay, well, now you're both uninvited to my birthday party.

Ooh, look at that.

Whoever designed this was ahead of their time.

(gasps)

You said that this was no longer functional, right?

Yes. That is correct. Despite numerous attempts, scientists have never been able to get it to work.

Er, then why is it ticking?

(ticking)

(clicking)

That's not possible.

The mechanism hasn't worked in thousands of years.

This place is full of surprises.

Wait a minute, the constellation dial is off.

The North Star, it isn't in the right place.

Give it a break, it's more than 2,000 years old.

No, but the North Star is always in a fixed position.

It's like in a compass, how it always points north.

Exactly how far off is it?

Uh, 2.3 degrees south, 6.5 degrees east.

That's a latitude and longitude.

The clock is giving us a location.

(clicking)

It's here in the museum.

Should be right about... (beeping) ...here.

And before the fight broke out, what instigated it?

I'm sorry, who are you people again?

Agent Prichard, I'm with "DOSA"...

Department of Statistical Anomalies.

Statistical what?

You were saying?

Oh, uh, yeah. Some drunk came in.

Starts tossin' our brochures around, lookin' for somethin'.

Anything in particular?

Yeah.

This one.
Flynn: We should be pretty close to those coordinates.

Everybody keep your eyes peeled.

For what, asbestos? 'Cause that's all I can see.

Ooh...!

Easy.

It's original brickwork.

This museum's built on the bones of an 18th-century church. This is original subfloor.

A smuggling vault.

The church smuggled?

Ooh.

Ezekiel: Everybody did.

Most buildings in 18th-century Massachusetts had smuggling vaults or tunnels hidden under the basements.

They hid money. Or loot from the government.

Kind of an early act of defiance against Thomas Jefferson's first tax laws.

In fact, funny story about those...

All right, stand back.

(crashes)

(bar clatters)

(grunting)

Hello.

(puffs)

Come on, man.

Well, well, well.

I think I know who the spirits were trying to warn us about.

Apep, god of Chaos.

Apep... Egyptian god of Chaos, and sworn enemy to Ra, the sun god.

Nasty piece of work.

Egyptians referred to him as "The Eater of Souls."

I thought that Ra imprisoned this cat like centuries ago, left him for dead.

Apparently not.

While repairing the clipping book, I discovered another article.

A tourist, Barry Dubecki, ex-Navy, went missing while visiting the Great Pyramids.

Coincidentally, archeologists nearby had just unearthed a sarcophagus believed to be several thousand years old.

Apep's sarcophagus? Okay.

Well, if this guy, Barry found it and somehow released Apep's spirit...

It would possess his body.

Allowing the god of Chaos to manifest in human form.

And now he wants the key.

Key? What key?

Jenkins: Colonel, the gold box.

It holds the key that can unlock Pure Evil.

"Pure Evil"? As opposed to what, fake evil?

Pure Evil is a force. Along with Pure Good.

And there's a delicate balance between the two.

The Library was created to protect that balance and the only reason Pure Evil is not running rampant right now is the first Librarian was able to seal it in a portal, never to be opened.

So Apep wants to upset the balance.

If he manages to open the portal and release Pure Evil...

It'll feed off the open ley lines, growing stronger by the minute.

Plunging our whole world into darkness.

And here I was worried about asbestos.

I highly suggest that you retrieve the key before Apep does.

It's locked. Combination lock.

Combination lock?

Oh, you do know I'm a thief, right?

It might as well just say, "Property of Ezekiel Jones."

Most combination locks have a series of discs inside, each one with a notch.

When you dial the right combo, the notches align, and click, you're in.

This tricky guy, he has multiple notches.

Unless there's someway I can see the configuration inside, this could take hours.

How are we gonna do that?

We don't have an x-ray machine.

Mm...

I am gonna regret saying this, but we do have a sonar system.

Stone: The sub? Submarine!

The sub? The sub.

Since sonic waves bounce off metal, we could modify the equipment and turn it into an ultrasound and in theory, that would let us see into the box. Please, don't hate me.

(sighs) Okay, get the sonar equipment and come right back. This is no time to mess around.

Please! We're professionals.

I've got dibs on the periscope!

Not if I get there first!

They're taking too long. I knew I shouldn't have let them go.

They're probably halfway across the Atlantic by now.

Flynn: Something about these symbols.

Can't quite put my finger on it.

You know, if we really wanted to open it, I could use a spell.

I am so sick of you going on and on about magic.

Why don't you just drop it?

Oh, what?

Are you afraid someone younger and better than you is gonna steal your glory?

You are an amateur, Cillian!

And you are a dinosaur!

(all yelling)

(gasps)

Cassandra: Whew.

I'm sorry. That was weird.

What just happened?

That was... weird.

I'm not sure what just...

Listen, we're all under a lot of stress.

...just came over me.

Trying to open the box.

Flynn, you almost just poked my eye out.

Eye! That's it! Yes!

You don't want to talk about what just happened?

No, no, no. Listen.

The Eye of Horus is the Egyptian emblem of protection.

Traditionally symbolized by a falcon eye with a single teardrop.

Each of these symbols represents a different part of the eye.

But the Eye of Horus wasn't only an emblem.

It's also a math pictogram.

The Egyptians, they used it to make calculations.

Each symbol represented a fraction... the pupil is one quarter. The eyebrow, 1/8th, and the teardrop, 1/64th.

Right.

And if you theoretically add up all these numbers...

It's the combination of the lock.

It was here on the box the whole time.

12-67. Try 12-6-7.

Unbelievable. You and your...

"12-67." 12-6-7.

(clicking, rattling)

(grunts)

We're too late. Apep was already here.

Stone: Slow. Yeah, slow.

This place is awesome.

Go, set it down. Set it down.

Don't drop it.

(sighs)

(alarm blares)

What did you touch?

Nothing...

What did you touch?

Nothing!

(crashes)

Stone? Forget about the sonar, Apep already has the key.

Meet us at the lobby.

Well, that's gonna be a little hard right now, okay?

'Cause we're currently on a moving submarine!

This is no time for a joy ride.

Not our idea.

This sub's been pre-programmed.

It's Apep. He's taken the sub.

Now that he has the key, he's going for the portal.

Wait a minute. A thousand-year-old spirit can program a modern-age submarine?

He can if the body he possesses is ex-Navy.

Eve: Stone, check all the cabins. See if you can find Apep.

(sonar beeps)

(clicking)

(buzzer blares)

Recording on P.A.: Torpedo armed and loaded in tube number two.

(grunting)

Whoa! What the...?

Ezekiel, talk to me.

The sub just did an about-face on its own.

It's heading back to port.

Why would it do that?

Stone? Have you found Apep?

Not exactly.

He's programmed the torpedo to launch in less than a minute.

He's gonna try to blow up the museum.

We have to evacuate the museum.

We don't have time. Not with the size of that warhead.

Here, let me. Can you access the launch program?

I'm trying, but the onboards haven't been upgraded since the '80s.

I'm a millennial. I don't know any of this "Atari" crap.

Try a matrix system, I'll walk you through it.

What about the breech door?

Recording on P.A.: 30 seconds to launch.

It won't budge.

There's water filling the tube.

Okay, to disengage the torpedo, you're gonna have to manually drain the flood chambers.

Are you kidding?

No, I'm not kidding.

If he hasn't equalized the pressure...

I have a degree... a Ph.D...

It's not helping! Not helping!

(growls)

Cassandra: So you're gonna wanna go into the main terminal and then use a linear and by an algorithm...

3/0/6.

It's not working.

We're runnin' out of time.

He's not gonna make it.

The hell he isn't.

Cassandra: Slash two...

Ezekiel, do you have any control over the sub?

Only auxiliary power, propulsion.

Okay, listen carefully. I need you to throttle the propellers to maximum speed and come straight at us.

Uh, I'm sorry. You wanna get blown up sooner?

It takes at least 400 yards for a torpedo to arm itself.

The closer you get to the museum, harder it is to detonate.

That makes sense... almost.

Recording on P.A.: Six, five, four, three, two...

(hissing)

Torpedoes away!

Hold on.

(clangs)

Ezekiel: It worked. No expl*si*n.

Ha! We did it!

You don't understand. We're not out of this yet. Ezekiel, full stop!

(buzzer blares)

(grunts)

It's not stopping.

(bangs)

Ugh-hh!

(rumbling)

(screaming)

(growls)

(sighs) Whew.

Now, how do I get out of here?

(roars)

There they are.

Ezekiel: I am never swimming there again.

I'm officially over submarines.

I don't get it. So Apep stole a submarine just to try to k*ll us?

Maybe he was trying to build a swimming pool.

Flynn: Torpedo was never meant for us.

Apep just needed access to the portal which was under the museum.

Apep!

(speaks in ancient language) _

(snarls)

(altered voice) You speak our tongue, but you are not one of us.

You are weak.

Do you really think you can defeat a god?

A god in an out-of-shape 50-year-old's body?

Yeah, I like our chances.

I have laid waste to legions.

Turned oceans into blood.

And after Pure Evil is released, I will reign forever.

You cannot stop me.

Just watch us. Go.

Why are you all just standing there?

I gave you an order!

You know, I'm getting sick and tired of you giving us orders. If I'm honest about it, I should be the one calling the sh*ts.

Don't you touch me!

You know what? None of you are smart enough to be the leader.

I'm the only one who understands magic.

That's why nobody trusts you!

(all shouting)

(laughs)

(gasps)

(shouting continues)

(screaming)

(shouting)

(shouting)

(screams)

What just happened?

Was I just yelling?

It's Apep, he's used some kind of spell to turn us against each other. That must have been what happened back in the basement.

Of course.

He's the god of Chaos. He's using all of our personal differences to try to divide us, split us apart.

So what do we do? Think good thoughts, like "Peter Pan"?

Like, give him nothin' to work with. Show him we're a team.

She's right. The only way to defeat chaos?

Harmony.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

(creaking)

(hums)

(Librarians singing) ♪ Mine eyes have seen the glory ♪
♪ Of the coming of the Lord ♪
♪ He is trampling out the vintage ♪
♪ Where the grapes of wrath are stored ♪
♪ He hath loosed the faithful lightning ♪
♪ Of his terrible swift sword ♪
♪ His truth is marching on. ♪

Just the girls.

♪ Glory, glory, Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah...

♪ Glory, glory, Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah...

♪ Glory, glory, Hallelujah ♪

All: ♪ His truth is marching on. ♪

You made a mistake, Apep.

You thought you could divide us. Cause chaos.

But you don't know who I am.

Who we are.

We are united. Bonded together.

In a common cause.

A common purpose.

A family.

I'd do anything for them. Even die for them.

You can't divide us. Your magic is useless.

Who are you?

Think hard.

Who banished the evil you wish to release?

Who protects this world?

Who do you fear the most?

Librarian?

You...?

That's me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

(grunts)

Bam!

Ezekiel: Look, the portal's opening.

Stone, get the key.

(portal buzzing)

(creaking)

There you go.

Ooh...! (chuckles)

Man: Nobody move!

(faint click)

Hands in the air.

You're under arrest on the authority of the Department of Statistical Anomalies.

What? You can't arrest us. On what charge?

We've been tracking unexplained phenomena for the past several months.

And they all had one thing in common.

You.

The artifact. Hand it over.

You're making a mistake.

You're messing with powers that you can't possibly understand.

Now!

I told you these guys were gonna be a problem. - It's okay.

It doesn't matter without the orb.

What was that?

Nothing.

You said something about an orb.

No, I don't think that I... (clicks) let me finish. The Orb of Nephthys.

The Ankh's magical powers don't work unless they're linked to the Orb.

I'm actually a little surprised that you guys didn't know that.

Well, of course we knew about that.

I just didn't know that you knew.

Where is the Orb?

He's got it.

On his pants.

Watch them.

Hey!

Wake up. (slaps)

By the authority of DOSA, I command you to hand over that orb.

(growls)

Get over here and help me.

Don't you dare disobey me.

(grunts)

Sneaky Librarian.

(thumping, grunting)

(grunting continues)

(fluttering)

(gasping)

(stammers) Wh... where did they... where did they go?

(rope whines)

Ezekiel: But why not start a band?

I mean, we have the talent, clearly.

And we have the instruments...

Pan's flute, Gabriel's horn, Mozart's piano.

Guys, what do you think we should call the band?

Uh, "The Dewey Decimals"? No, that's too obvious.

"The Bibliotechnos"!

The Ankh is safe back in the Library, the portal to Pure Evil is closed forever.

Not a bad day's work.

Well done.

Oh, and that government group?

The Department of whatever, whatever...

Statistical Anomalies? DOSA.

Oh, they'll be back. I'm sure.

You know, they can make things very complicated.

Well, how much do you think they know about us?

About the library and magic?

It's what they don't know that worries me.

I mean, them running around, gathering up artifacts they don't understand.

The consequences could be catastrophic.

Well, we'll have to keep our eye on them.

What about Apep? He's still out there.

I think that without the Ankh, and without a host body to inhabit, we don't have much to worry about there.

Excuse me.

(Eve sighs)

All right, let's get this over with.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, yes you do. Earlier I told you I was worried, I didn't feel our team was ready and you...

Were 100% right? Did that happen?

I don't...

I need to have more faith in the team.

We really are ready for anything.

Well, Ankh you very much.

For the last time, I don't know nothin'.

Now let me outta here.

You're a Navy man, aren't you?

So I'm sure you know all about the Battle of Salamis.

A couple hundred ago, a Greek guy with 300 ships managed to defeat a Persian fleet four times its size.

You know how he did it?

He sent a sl*ve to the Persian commander saying the Greeks were gonna retreat, which in turn, lured the Persians into a tactical trap from which they could not escape.

In short, he lied.

Just like you're lying to me right now.

Only you're not gonna get away with it.

Now, why don't we start from the beginning?

Mr. Carsen.

I thought I smelled the burning of midnight oil.

Thank you, Jenkins.

Just thought I'd get a little reading in.

"Book of the Dead."

"Necromancer's Manual."

Heavy stuff.

Sir, earlier when you told Colonel Baird that she'd no longer be concerned about Apep.

We haven't seen the last of him.

But I have a feeling you knew that already.

Years ago, Judson warned me that a w*r was coming.

The "Ultimate Battle" between good and evil.

Test the true power of the Library.

Eve felt it. I should've listened.

So is the Ultimate Battle coming?

Coming? No, sir.

It has already begun.

Careful, that's hot.
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