Previously on Riverdale
The Farm left me.
The worthy ascended.
Where's my mom and Polly?
I'm Charles, your brother.
It's vital that we find your mom ASAP.
Is there anything we can do to help?
Thought you might ask.
Welcome home, Jay-Jay.
We want your father, not you.
Understood, Agent Ardelia.
You're under arrest.
For conducting illegal activities at your establishments.
Hermione Lodge, you're under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder.
Your own husband's.
This is what I got when I asked my dad about that stupid game.
I've been thinking about making some changes to this place, Mad Dog.
- I want you to help me run it.
- Oh, yeah.
Fred Andrews will always be a part of Riverdale.
I love you so much, Dad.
Andrews' funeral, the rest of summer vacation passed in a surreal haze.
Betty, Veronica, and I spent as much time as we could with Archie.
We had dinner at Pop's every night.
And every day you could tell he was getting better and better.
I'm not saying he wasn't still heartbroken, the entire town was, but my pal Archie's a fighter.
And by the last day of summer vacation, while the football field was being mowed for the new season, and the school floors were being buffed to a shine, and banners for the first dance of the year were being hung, Archie was doing what he does best.
You know, Mad Dog, I was thinking.
School starts tomorrow.
What if you came with me?
Why would I do that?
I don't know, to get your diploma.
Don't you want it?
Okay, then this is your chance.
Isn't your younger brother gonna be a freshman?
I don't know, Red.
After everything I've lived through, I don't think going back to textbooks and cafeteria politics - is really my scene.
It's not mine either.
But getting that diploma is what my dad wanted, so I'm going to do it.
Look, all I'm saying is, we could do it together.
Hell, you could even try out for the Bulldogs.
Ooh, a little pigskin.
So, Mom missed another check-in with you?
But like I said, don't panic.
This isn't the first time she's been late with the reports.
Well, Charles, what if that means she's been found out?
Listen, until she contacts us, you should just focus on being a high school student.
I'll reach out if anything changes.
Now that your parents' court date has been set, you need to make a decision.
Are you testifying on behalf of your mother?
Or your father?
I can be Switzerland.
At the very minimum, I recommend you issue a statement of support.
The press will want to know where you stand with No comment.
That's my statement.
Now if you'll excuse me, Mr.
Sowerberry, I have some last-minute school supply shopping I need to do.
Well, Jay-Jay, which one for the first day of school?
Rebellious white after Labor Day or my signature red?
I agree 100%.
You know, I really can't imagine a better way to spend our last night of summer vacation Isn't it crazy?
In just nine months, life as we know it will be over.
No more high school.
No more Blue and Gold.
No more heart-to-hearts at the lockers.
Oh, B, don't be sad.
I'm sorry, guys.
I can't help but think life goes by so fast.
And none of us are very good at stopping to savor it.
But tonight, we will be.
I think that's our cue, Archiekins.
I forgot to set the alarm.
We're gonna be late.
- You guys, wake up.
We're gonna be late for the first day of senior year.
Oh, my God.
And you are?
I'm Principal Weatherbee's replacement, Mr. Honey.
We apologize for the tardiness, Mr. Honey, it won't happen again.
I don't know what kind of a ship Waldo Weatherbee was running around here, but things are going to be different this year.
We'll have order.
Now get out of my sight.
Okay, he sets up the bubble screen for you, you catch Bam!
- You run like hell.
You're one of the fastest we got, Mantle.
Coach Any chance we can make room for one more Bulldog?
Well, lineup's pretty much set.
- You looking to play?
If you'll have me on the team, sir.
So, what's your name?
Come out to practice, show us what you got.
I'll be there.
This is gonna be the best season ever.
I'm not too late, am I?
To sign up for, uh I don't know, I was thinking, maybe an arts reporter?
Kevin Betty um, I'm also here because I've been doing a lot of work on myself, ever since I was left behind by the Farm, and it's helped me to realize that I don't I don't need the Farm to make me feel whole, but I I do need my friends.
Especially my former best friend.
I am so sorry for the way I treated you while I was under Edgar's spell.
Oh, you mean like when you dragged me by my ankles to get a lobotomy?
I I'm most ashamed of that.
I hope that I can show you how much I've changed.
And I hope that I prove to you that you can trust me again.
Um, I I'm so, so sorry, Betty.
Just fill out an application, Kev, and then we'll see.
Jughead Jones, please report to the Principal's Office.
Jughead Jones to the Principal's Office.
Am I in trouble again?
In fact, you have a visitor.
I'm Mr. Chipping.
It's nice to meet you, Jughead.
Nice to meet you, too.
Over the summer you submitted a short story to a writing contest?
I didn't win.
Yeah, I know.
I was one of the judges.
And I was very impressed with your voice.
And while I couldn't sway my fellow judges, I can offer you an opportunity to come study writing with me.
I am a teacher at Stonewall Prep.
You want me to transfer to Stonewall Prep?
It's a tremendous offer, Mr.
But thank you for the visit and for liking my story.
My good news of the day is, Mrs.
Burble said I'm a shoo-in for Harvard.
I mean, obviously.
I guess I better start looking at community colleges in Where's Harvard?
Do you think your mother really tried to have your father killed?
- Back off.
- Now that that the court dates have been set, - whose side will you choose?
- Oh, hell, no.
I am not having my senior year ruined by a bunch of bloodsucking paparazzi.
Archie So much for a quiet senior year.
Mr. Honey, thank you for meeting with us.
I, Cheryl Blossom, as Student Body President, and Antoinette Topaz as Acting Student Body Vice-President, would like to personally welcome you to Riverdale High.
Thank you, ladies.
I was actually going to reach out to you, regarding that Back to School Dance that you've organized.
At the last student dance, multiple students were murdered.
But that's exactly why we need this dance, to heal.
Mr. Honey, if I may speak from personal experience, the Back to School Dance, after my brother Jason's death, provided much needed catharsis.
Well, I disagree.
Now, I will only repeat myself once.
There will be no Back to School dance.
Huddle up, guys.
All right, Munroe, let's see if we can catch them napping.
- On one.
Watch your man!
Don't give 'em an ounce of daylight, all right?
You hear me?
Get over here.
Get over here!
What are you doing?
That guy just made you look like a damned fool.
That was an embarrassing display.
Go out there.
Come on, man.
Show me somethin'.
What the hell?
Oh, you have gotta be kidding me.
This pervert was taking pictures of us while we changed.
Collecting photos for your sad, pubescent spank bank, are you?
A reporter from Rumordale.
com reached out, and he told me he would pay 500 bucks for a photo of Veronica.
How am I supposed to say no to that?
You just say it, you worm.
Nice job out there, Mad Dog.
It's Munroe, actually.
Oh, my bad.
I thought it was Mad Dog.
Or is that just what they called you in jail?
It was juvie.
And your boy Archie was right there with me.
Look, is there a problem, guys?
No, bro, we're cool.
But settle a bet.
In prison showers, is it true what they say about dropping the soap?
He's not worth it, dude.
What the hell is wrong with you?
What do you think, Andrews?
I've been captain of the Bulldogs since sophomore year.
I don't need some ex-con who showed up last-minute stealing my thunder.
Look, I saw your dad giving you a hard time, but man up, Reg.
You're supposed to be captain.
Jug, you know Mr. Chipping.
He was just telling me about an offer that he made you.
Uh My answer still hasn't changed.
I'm sorry, Mr. Chipping, but I can't go to your school.
If this is about money, I got a few bucks socked away.
It's not just about money.
Boy, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to go to a school that recognizes your talent.
Jug, how about this?
How about you come take a tour, see the place for yourself, and then make the decision.
- I know.
I I just don't want to - You're taking the damn tour.
Have a seat.
Charles, I'm back.
They ran out of fortune cookies, if you can believe it.
Is this what you do when I'm not around, Betty?
You read classified information?
When were you gonna tell me that you had Kevin under surveillance?
From the get-go, I suspected Kevin hadn't fully cut ties with the Farm.
I started monitoring his phone activity, and it turns out he's been texting with Fangs Fogarty.
I'm I mean, I was hoping that Kevin was done with the Farm.
It seemed like he was done.
This might be a blessing in disguise.
We could use the relationship to our advantage.
In his texts, Kevin keeps pushing to meet in person, but Fangs has been holding him off, saying he can't risk it unless he has something useful to offer in return.
So What if we accidentally let slip Some fake intel about our investigation in front of Kevin?
Something that'll lure Fangs out of hiding.
The first step is to develop Kevin as an asset.
Think you can do that?
Oh, you scared me.
What were you doing in there?
I was praying.
Since when are you religious?
I was looking for some divine guidance on how to handle this discord with Mr. Honey, and the spirits didn't fail to deliver a hellaciously simple idea.
Instead of throwing a Back to School Dance, we are hosting a Back to School party right here at Thistlehouse.
Your name may be Honey, but I will always be the queen bee.
You have no power over me.
Hey, are you Forsythe?
Bret Weston Wallis.
Mr. Chipping asked me to roll out the red carpet.
You can just call me Jughead.
I prefer Forsythe.
Who's your friend?
Very Sweet Valley High.
Let me give you some stats.
Our faculty holds 132 master's degrees and 28 doctoral degrees, which sounds impressive, but the truth is, most of our teachers are hopelessly out of touch.
Except for Mr. Chipping, he's cool.
And I'm not just saying that because he's coming right behind me.
Mr. Chipping, how's it hanging?
Bret, don't let me interrupt you.
But I wanted to invite Jughead to sit in on a salon with us.
If I'm not mistaken, we're focusing on Moby-Dick tomorrow?
That's one of my favorites.
See you tomorrow, Mr.
Betty, you can come, too.
I bet you've got a lot to say about Moby-Dick.
No, I don't.
And I think I've gotten my fill of this place already, so It is a lot to digest.
Speaking of which, in the cafeteria we've got vegan, keto vegan, raw keto vegan I don't like drama, Ms.
Neither do I, Mr. Honey.
And yet, there's this article on Rumordale.
com published about you this morning, promising drama.
I'm assuming you've read that.
I've been avoiding the tabloids these past few months.
An unnamed inside source that worked at your nightclub is claiming that you, in fact, are responsible for the crimes that your father allegedly committed.
Your point, Mr. Honey?
I was just wondering if you shouldn't take a sabbatical from Riverdale High, until you can get all these personal matters of yours sorted.
Oh, man I have missed hanging out with you, Betty.
I was thinking back to freshman year.
You would talk about crushing on Archie and I'd talk about whatever weird Grind'Em hook-up I'd just had.
- Or not had.
- I remember.
Kev, I think the reason I was cold earlier I mean as you know, my mom and Polly are still at the Farm.
And my half-brother is investigating them.
Um - Charles?
- Anyways, today, finally, there was a break in the case.
The FBI found a witness who's willing to testify against the Farm.
Charles says it may finally break open the case.
That is Cheers.
Can I at least hug you?
I I miss you so much.
I've missed you too.
But first you said you had some information for me?
There's, uh There's a witness.
The FBI found someone who's ready to come forward against Edgar.
Who's the witness?
I I don't I don't know.
I didn't get a name.
But Information's not the only reason why you wanted to meet me, right?
Kevin, Edgar and the rest of the Farm don't think you can be trusted.
Of course, I mean, if you found out who the witness was I mean, that might change things.
Get the name and then we can be together.
You know how to reach me.
Betty You are so messed up, Kevin.
Reggie, Mr. Honey is riding my ass about this article on Rumordale.
About La Bonne Nuit.
An "inside source" with "intimate knowledge" of my businesses claims that I'm the criminal kingpin, not my father.
Was it you, Reggie?
Are you the "inside source"?
Is that why you're hiding behind those shades?
I didn't say a word to the press Oh, my God.
Reggie, your eye.
but maybe you should ask your old man.
Did Reggie admit to leaking the story?
He didn't do it.
Archie Reggie had a black eye.
And it wasn't the first time, either.
From practice, you mean?
I think No.
Reggie's dad hits him.
Kevin, you lied to me.
You told me that you wanted to be my friend, and then you go out into the woods for some secret tryst with your cult boyfriend.
I'm I'm sorry for for everything.
I truly do miss being your friend.
You betrayed Betty after she gave you a chance.
I wasn't thinking clearly, I just wanted to see Fangs.
You wanted to trade information, so you can get back in the good graces of the Farm.
- You're still one of them.
I'm not, I swear.
I'm not a part of anything.
And you You, Betty, you ignored me all summer, okay?
And I understand, but I was alone.
At least Fangs texted me back.
He's all I have.
Can we have a word?
We got to cut him loose.
I I believe Kevin, okay?
I saw them in the woods.
I think he'll help us.
We're not going to get anywhere with him.
Listen, I'm sorry, Betty.
We'll find another way to get Alice back.
Let's go, Reggie!
All, come on!
All right, guys, hit the shower.
Practice is over.
Get over here.
What the hell are you doing?
I had it, Dad.
It just slipped.
It won't happen again, I promise.
If it does, so help me, - I'll - What?
You're gonna hit him again?
Give him another black eye?
- What the hell have you been saying?
- Nothing, Dad.
Andrews, this is none of your business.
Reggie works his ass off on this field while you stand here and yell.
We all have to listen to it.
So, get the hell out of here.
Or I'll throw you out myself.
Back off, Andrews.
I mean it.
Reggie, your dad has no right to treat you like this.
Knock it off, you two.
- Knock it off.
- Knock it off.
- Dead to me, Andrews.
Guys, this is that kid from Riverdale.
Forsythe, this is Donna, Jonathan, Joan.
Good afternoon, seekers of knowledge!
Why are we not sitting?
Now then, Moby-Dick.
It's well done.
But it highlights a problem that I have with the syllabus.
Do we really need to hear this narrative again?
Because the only authors we're allowed to like now are those who lived an unblemished life.
I'm fine with that.
Guys, guys, guys.
Let's get back on topic.
Now, what do you think that the whale symbolizes?
Care to elaborate on that, Mr. Jones?
Well, it's pretty well-established that Melville hated allegory.
And he's quoted as saying that his biggest fear was Moby-Dick would be seen as a fable.
Breaking out the blonde wig, I see.
Yes, that's the only way I can get around without being harassed by the paparazzi.
But then you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
Oh, are you receiving some blowback from lying through your teeth to get me arrested?
Why did you leak the story?
Was it a desperate ploy to get me to come see you?
Mija, I'm not paying for your crimes.
I merely told the truth.
I told the world what you are, a Lodge, through and through.
Deal with it.
My esteemed guests, may I have your attention please?
Students of Riverdale, we have a new enemy in our midst.
This killjoy is our new principal, Mr. Honey.
However, never fear.
I, as your student body president, will make sure that he is beheaded by Homecoming, or my name isn't Cheryl Marjorie Blossom.
- Your drinks, ladies.
- Thank you.
So What's this I hear about you transferring?
Jug is being recruited by Stonewall Prep.
How was the salon today, by the way?
Shocked to say, I actually kind of enjoyed it.
And the kids had actually read Moby-Dick.
Jughead, there is no school more nihilistic and/or privileged than Stonewall.
Besides, why would you want to leave your lovely girlfriend here?
Jug, we would make anything work.
But I would miss you.
Trust me when I say, you would be miserable.
I'm just trying to keep an open mind, is all.
What are you doing down here?
- What's up?
- This hallway is off-limits.
The locked door at the top of the stairs should've been a hint.
The line to the bathroom was too long.
Was looking for another one.
Then get thee to the barn with the other animals.
I'm sorry that we interrogated you.
I get it.
You're trying to save your mom.
What I'm about to tell you puts everything on the line, but I believe in you.
What are you talking about?
My mom isn't just at the Farm, she's undercover at the Farm.
She's been sending us messages all summer, but she stopped.
And I'm worried that she may be in trouble.
Oh, my God, Betty And I know that you can turn around and tell Fangs everything, but I'm choosing to believe that our friendship runs deeper than Edgar's brainwashing.
It It It does.
Kev I need you to ask Fangs to meet with you again, so he can tell you where Edgar is hiding.
He will if you have information to give him.
Like the name of the FBI witness, who doesn't actually exist, by the way.
But we can give him a fake name.
Like Penelope Blossom.
Kev, will you do this?
Will you help me?
Will you help my mom?
Of course, Betty.
Who invited you, new guy?
Dude, Reggie, lay off.
Cheryl, you know this guy?
No, but I certainly don't object to him being here, which is more than I can say for you.
So what you're saying is Mad Dog here crashed.
And now the po-po has arrived.
Everybody go home.
Jughead, boy, you better not be drinking whatever's in that cup.
Someone get this man a beer.
You want to see the inside of the drunk tank tonight, Mantle?
I'll take him home, Mr.
What are the charges, Sheriff Jones, if one might ask?
Someone called the station about the noise.
All of Thistlehouse's neighbors are either deaf or dead.
Who exactly made this absurd complaint?
Someone named, uh Honey.
Party's over, Cheryl.
Reg, I think I already know, but how did you get the black eye?
What do you want me to say?
That my dad hits me?
That he beats the crap out of me over the stupidest things?
That he's been doing it for as long as I can remember?
I'm sorry, Reg.
I really am.
I was always so jealous of the relationship you had with your dad.
No matter what you wanted to do, he always stuck by you.
I have no idea what that feels like.
And when your dad died, all I kept thinking was, what if it had been my old man instead?
Listen, what can we do?
Or what can I do?
You've already done enough, man.
You called him out.
Now, it's on me.
I gotta take a stand.
So, what are you thinking?
Bro, are you sure about this?
Sometimes I think he loves this car more than he does me.
I mean, you could just You could talk to him.
He doesn't listen.
It's time he starts to listen.
Holy hell, Reg.
That'll bring this to a head.
It's okay, Archie.
I outweigh him by 50 pounds.
I trust you all completed your summer reading?
Who wants to read the first section out loud for us?
All righty then.
I'll start and you follow along.
"Understanding Literature, Chapter Six.
One of the great works of the Elizabethan Age, Romeo and Juliet, is a tragic romance, emblematic of both Shakespeare's" I can't take this.
"early period" Come with me, right now.
"and of western drama in the 16th and 17th centuries.
What's going on?
You should go to Stonewall Prep, Jug.
I hate saying that, but it's the chance of a lifetime and you should take it.
So, you should go before I change my mind.
But what about Don't worry about us, we'll make it work.
We've been through way worse.
Just go pack up your stuff.
I'll handle everything here, okay?
How'd your old man react to his car?
Uh It It did what it was supposed to do.
It got us talking.
And I said some things he needed to hear.
And I I don't think he'll be coming around to practices anymore.
Bros for life.
You want to know where I stand?
I will give my first, last, and only press conference on the subject of my parents tonight at La Bonne Nuit speakeasy, after a special performance.
Come on, babe Why don't we paint the town?
And all that jazz I'm gonna rouge my knees And roll my stockings down And all that jazz Start the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold But the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall Where there's a nightly brawl And all That Jazz I'm no stranger to scandal.
That's what it means to be a Lodge.
I love my parents.
And because I love them, I trusted them.
And all those nefarious things Rumordale.
com accused me of doing?
Yes, I did them.
I did them under duress.
Because my father threatened me.
And like the good, dutiful daughter, I did what I was told by Hiram Lodge.
Find a flask We're playing fast and loose And all that jazz Right up here Is where I store the juice And all that jazz Come on, babe We're gonna brush the sky I bet you lucky Lindy Never flew so high 'Cause in the stratosphere How could he lend an ear To all That Jazz You want to know who I'm standing with in the upcoming trials?
Neither of them.
From this day forward, I stand only with and for myself.
No, I'm no one's wife But, oh, I love my life And all That Jazz That jazz!
Is that your Harvard application?
But I'm thinking of making a change before sending it in.
The Lodge name is tainted.
But my mother's maiden name, Gomez?
I think I could work with that.
So, I would be dating Veronica Gomez now?
What's she like?
I don't know.
We're going to find out.
Why, what's the matter, Ms. Bell?
Just be careful, Cheryl.
Golly, what a mess.
Hope you aren't allergic, Mr. Honey.
Have you heard from Mom?
Maybe I was wrong, maybe we should roll the dice with Kevin.
Um I already have.
I gave him the name of our fake witness, Penelope Blossom.
Betty You didn't say anything about Alice, did you?
You revealed the name of an active undercover FBI agent to a screwed-up kid?
Because I trust Kevin.
I wanted to be honest with him.
- He will find out where Edgar - Betty, it worked.
Kev, you're back.
I, uh I connected with Fangs, told him about Penelope Blossom, and he led me to where the Farm is staying.
It's an abandoned motel beyond the maple barrens.
Did you see my mom?
Is she okay?
Uh, I didn't.
But I did see Edgar, and, Betty, he's armed.
There were guns, and he's building something, and Edgar's digging in.
He's getting ready for war.
Well, we have to go.
We have to get in there and save our mom.
Well, well, well.
Do I look like a jerk?
No, you look like a gentleman.
Stonewall's not too far, and I'll be back every weekend.
Hey I'm glad you accepted Chipping's offer.
You're a sort of a legacy there, you know?
What do you mean?
Well, your grandpa, Forsythe the First, actually went to Stonewall Prep for a couple of months until he dropped out.
Why didn't you tell me this sooner?
It's ancient history.
But he quit at everything, including me.
He went out for a pack of smokes, and he never came back.
Anyway I didn't mention it because I wanted this to be your decision, without my old man's shadow hanging over you.
It's a chance for you to do something good, for yourself, and I'm proud of you, son.
It's going to be a good year.
Really good year.