03x01 - Ricky's Life Story

[bunniefuu]

(I Love Lucy theme music plays)

Isn't that good?

Isn't that good?

That's a boy.

Ooh, what a face!

What a face, what a face.

You want to get down and walk for Mama a little bit?

Let's see how much we can walk today, huh?

Come on.

Oh, sweetie.

Let's see how much we can walk now.

Walk for Mama.

Come on, come on.

Come on, walk.

Aw, come on, now.

Give me a step or two.

Come on, try it.

Try it.

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on.

Come on.

That's a fella.

That a boy.

That a fella.

Come on.

That a fella.

There he is.

Do you like this?

Such a good boy.

We take our nap now, huh?

Should we take our nap now?

(mouthing words)

Good morning, Lucy.

Oh, hi.

I brought up your mail.

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh!

Oh, Ethel, look!

Life, the magazine-- the one with our pictures in it.

Is this the one with your pictures in it?

Yeah, well, let me have it now.

Well, I'll find 'em for you.

Honey, I can find it.

It's my magazine and my pictures are in it.

Okay.

Let's see now...

Oh, here it is.

"Life visits an orchestra leader at home"-- page 43.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I wonder what my hair looks like.

Oh, you know, the beauty parlor did a whole new makeup on me that day.

Yeah, I know.

All right, all right.

Oh, and I had on a new dress.

Oh!

Oh, here it is.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, that's just great!

Look, Ricky practicing at the piano.

Oh, doesn't he look great?

Look at that expression.

Oh, here he is making arroz con pollo in the kitchen.

I've seen him like that a dozen times.

Doesn't that look natural?

Oh, look at the baby.

Oh, isn't he a little doll?

Yeah.

Oh, here's Ricky teaching Little Ricky to play the conga drum.

I didn't know they took one like that.

Isn't that wonderful?

That's awful cute.

(gasps)

Look at that big picture of Ricky.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, yeah.

That's all?

I must have missed something.

No, that's all.

Gee, three whole pages of pictures!

Well, so what happened to me?

There are no pictures of me there.

Oh, yes, there are.

I saw them.

You did not.

I did, too.

You were in this, uh...

Uh...

Yeah, there you are.

Where?

There-- holding the baby.

Oh, great.

That's a fine picture of my left arm.

Oh, come now.

And after all the trouble I went through.

I told all my friends to look for pictures of me.

Now, Lucy.

If they don't recognize my left arm, I'm dead.

Oh, it isn't everybody who gets her arm in Life magazine.

Oh, I don't want my arm in there.

I want my face in there.

For heaven's sake.

If I'd known what they were up to, I'd have held the baby in my mouth.

Hey, 20 million people read this magazine.

Why, your arm will be famous.

Thanks.

Oh, don't be so unhappy.

Think of how much good it'll do Ricky's career.

Oh, sure, what about my career?

You don't have a career.

Exactly, and why?

Publicity like this.

Oh, now, Lucy.

It's a wonder I've got where I am.

Where are you?

Oh, shut up!

(door buzzer sounds)

Who's that?

Hi, honey!

We made it!

We made it!

Look!

Look!

It's all over the place!

We're in Life magazine!

Yes, I saw us.

Oh, isn't that wonder...?

How about that?

Oh, it's just wonderful, Ricky.

We got more pages than the two-headed alligator.

And the wonderful pictures of the baby?

Yeah, wonderful.

Oh, boy.

Look at the picture of me at the piano.

Isn't that good?

I got kind of a funny expression on my face, though.

Oh, I don't know.

It isn't as funny as the expression on my elbow.

Huh?

How did you like the pictures of me, dear?

Oh, beautiful, honey.

I thought you never looked better.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, we ought to be the happiest two people in the whole world.

Well, the happiest one and a quarter anyway.

What do you mean?

I hate to be the one to point this out, Ricky, but there's a certain loved one whose picture does not appear in there.

Who?

Me.

Oh, now, don't be silly, you're in here.

I am?

Sure...

Oh, that's right, you're not.

(in mocking tone:)

Oh, that's right, you're not.

Well, gee, I'm sorry.

You don't have to get mad at me.

It's not my fault.

It is, too.

How can it be my fault?

They would have printed my picture, but they didn't because I'm not famous, and the only reason I'm not famous is because you've never given me an opportunity to display my talents.

Oh, no.

Now, Ricky, you listen to me...

Now, you listen to me.

If you don't mind, I don't want to listen to either of you.

Now, no low blows and watch your kidney punches.

Go to your corners, and when the door slams, come out fighting.

And may the best man win.

(door slams)

Now, Ricky...

Now.

listen...

I don't want to go into a long discussion of why you should be in show business.

I will save you a lot of time and a lot of breath.

I will give you an answer right now: no.

But I want a career.

You have a career.

Being a mother is very important, you know.

I know that, and it's only because of Little Ricky that I want to get my break in show business.

Well, I know I'm going to be sorry I asked this, but how do you figure?

Well, you just think ahead a little bit.

When Little Ricky goes to school and some of his playmates asks who his parents are...

Yeah?

just what is he going to have to say?

"My father is Ricky Ricardo, "the internationally known entertainer, "and then there's my mother, whose name escapes me for the moment." Oh, the poor, poor child.

Yeah, well.

(baby cries)

You see?

He heard me.

He's so humiliated he's crying already.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Hiya, Fred.

Hey!

Aren't you the fella that I saw in Life's magazine today?

Gosh!

Could I get your autograph?

Oh, shut up, Fred.

What's the matter, Rick?

Gosh, I thought you'd be feeling great after all that publicity.

Well, do you happen to notice that they didn't put one of Lucy's pictures in the magazine?

So what?

The spread was about you.

Well, that's what she's mad about.

She said if I hadn't kept her out of show business, the spread would have been about both of us.

Oh, now, don't tell me: So she wants to get the act again, huh?

To put it mildly, yeah.

Well, it's all your own fault.

Not you, too.

Well, I've always felt that you handled the thing wrong, Rick.

Huh?

How much did Lucy pay you to come in here and say that?

Oh, now, don't get me wrong.

She's like a million other people that are trying to break into show business.

All they see is the glamour and the stardom.

So?

So, why don't you give her a job, and let her see how much good, hard work there is in it?

Hey...

you might got something there.

Yeah.

That's a wonderful idea.

Sure.

Yes, sir.

I think that's a good idea.

I will give her a job in the show.

Sure, give her a job-- even if it's a job in the chorus.

Please, Fred, how dare you say that?

I'll make her a star.

Then she'll really find out what hard work is.

Mmm, Ricky, you can be a meanie when you want to be.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

Yeah?

Go over to your apartment and call me on the telephone, will you?

Okay.

Who am I supposed to be?

It doesn't matter.

Just ring and then I'll take it from there.

All right.

Okay?

All right.

Thank you, Fred.

You're welcome.

(chuckles)

Hurry up.

I will.

(mouthing words)

(phone rings)

Hello?

What do you mean, I need one more dancer?

Oh, I see.

Well, what do you want-- a blond or a brunette?

Oh, a redhead.

I see.

A redhead.

Well, I don't know.

I think I'd rather have a brunette.

Well...

maybe you're right.

Maybe a redhead would be better.

Yeah.

Listen, how tall a dancer do you want?

A small one?

Oh, a tall one, huh?

Well, look, in comparison to my height, where should she come to?

Here or here...?

I mean, I don't see exactly what you mean.

Oh, right about here.

Uh-huh.

Well, if I can think of anybody, I'll give you a ring.

All right, good-bye, Jerry.

Good-bye.

Look, Ricky-- medium height, red hair and a dancing fool.

You couldn't possibly mean you for the dancing part in the show?

Ricky, please?

Please, baby doll, please?

Oh, no, no, honey.

That's completely out of the question.

Oh, but why?

Well...

well, I must admit that physically you are just right for it.

Uh...

No, no.

But you just said I was just right.

Yeah, I know, but, honey, it's a big part.

It's-It's a lot of dancing in it.

Very...

a lot of hard work.

You couldn't take it.

Oh, yes, I could.

I'll work day and night.

I know I could.

I'm ready, coach.

Send me in.

Well...

Okay, you talked me into it.

Oh, Ricky!

You're wonderful!

Oh, thank you, honey.

(playing upbeat big-band number)

Okay, boys.

Lucy!

Are you ready to rehearse your number?

LUCY: Yeah, I'm coming.

Ladies and gentlemen, our new star!

(cheering)

("The Sidewalks of New York" plays)

Oh!

Oh, I got a little crick in my muscle.

You know, I've been working awful hard.

She sure has, Ricky.

We've been rehearsing six hours a day for the last three days.

Well, good, good.

Oh, I liked it, though.

I liked every minute of it.

Well, that's fine, because I'd like to rehearse your number right now.

Do you know, do you know the number?

Well, I learned all the steps, but I haven't gone through the whole routine.

I see.

Well, it's what we call a challenge routine.

What?

A challenge routine.

You see, I do a step, and then when I finish, I go like this and that means you take it.

Then you do a step, and when you finish, you go like that, and that means that I take it.

Uh-huh.

And so on.

Oh, I've seen them do that.

Well, there's nothing to it.

Uh, yeah.

Okay, are you ready?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

All right, boys, we start the challenge routine off from the very top.

Come over here.

The entrance, you stand behind me, see, and you start with the right foot.

Yeah, I know.

All right?

Boys, are you ready?

One, two!

(fast two-step plays)

(slow soft-shoe number plays)

(fast swing music plays)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

(music stops)

Listen, how come I'm doing all the dancing?

Well, honey, you are the star.

Oh, that's right.

(swing music continues)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

Well, that's good, you know.

We've got to learn this number today.

We've got about two more hours of rehearsal yet.

That's all right.

Go ahead, I'm ready.

All right.

Okay, on your feet now.

Let's go.

(moans)

Here, here, I'll help you, honey.

Up you go.

Come on.

Up you go.

Oh...

Up she goes.

Oh!

Oop!

Now, here we go now.

Let's get up.

You all right?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Let's take it from the very top.

All right?

It's no use, boy, I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Here, honey, I'll help you up.

Up...

up you go now.

Up.

Now, you see, honey, I was afraid of this.

You see, all you were thinking was about the glamour and the stardom.

You never realized how much hard work goes into show business.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I'd just like to go home and rest, thank you.

All right, honey.

Look, now, don't forget...

don't forget I gave you your big chance.

Oh, yes, honey.

You were wonderful.

I'm pooped.

Now, honey...

Honey, I...

I wish there was something else for you to do in the show, but there isn't, you know.

Oh, that's all right.

I understand.

Hey, Ricky, you still need a girl in that balcony during the Spanish scene.

What girl?

What balcony?

Honey, honey, honey, look, look, look...

What girl?

Honey, you wouldn't like it.

Look, all she does is just sit in the balcony and holds a rose in her teeth.

All she does is just sit there?

Yeah.

Can I do it, Ricky?

Oh, you wouldn't want to do that, honey.

Oh, yes, I would, yes, I would.

Really.

I told everybody I was going to be in the show, and I promise if you let me do it this time, I'll never ask you again.

Look, I'm a real good sitter, see?

You really promise?

I promise.

Okay.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi.

What are you two doing here?

Hi, Luce.

Where's Mrs.

Trumbull?

She had to go visit her sister so Fred and I are baby-sitting.

Oh, swell.

How is the baby?

He's fine.

He's still asleep.

Oh, that's good.

(sighs)

How's the rehearsal going?

Fine.

What's that for?

My part in the show.

See, I sit up on the balcony and hold a rose in my teeth and Ricky sings a number to me.

Is that all you do in the show?

Well, it's a very important part.

The whole number revolves around me.

I didn't think he'd have nerve enough to go through with it.

Go through with what?

Well, he was going to pretend to star you in a big dance number and then rehearse you so hard you'd get tired and quit.

What?

Well, don't get sore.

He didn't do it.

The heck he didn't!

And thanks for telling me.

Me and my big blabbermouth.

So, he let me do all that dancing and he had no intention of putting me in the show, huh?

But you said you were in the show.

Oh, sure, all I do is sit there and hold a rose.

I might as well be a vase.

But you said you had a big important part and you said you were doing all right.

What do you do, write down everything I say?

I'll get even with him, the bum!

Oh, Lucy...

do me a favor, will you?

Don't tell Ricky I told you.

Fred, I'll do you a favor on one condition: What's that, I'm afraid?

You will help me get even with him.

Uh-oh.

Listen, I remember you told me about a vaudeville act you used to have.

Now, there's a certain part of that act that I think I can use...

if you will enlighten me on a few facts.

(harp plays)

(playing "Lady of Spain")

RICKY: Night in Madrid, blue and tender Spanish moon made silver splendor Music throbbing plaintive, sobbing notes Of a guitar While ardent caballeros serenade.

Lady of Spain, I adore you Right from the night I first saw you My heart has been yearning for you What else could any heart do?

(enthusiastic applause)

Lady of Spain, I'm appealing Why should my lips be concealing All that my eyes are revealing?

Lady of Spain, I love you.

(applause)

Paso doble, paso doble.

("Lady of Spain" plays faster)

Lady of Spain, I'm appealing Why should my lips be concealing?

All that my eyes are revealing Lady of Spain, I love you.

(enthusiastic applause)

Thank you.

"Loveliest Night of the Year." When you are in love It's the loveliest night of the year Stars twinkle above And you almost can touch them from here Words fall into rhyme Every time you are holding me near When you are in love It's the loveliest night of the year (music swells)

Waltzing along in the blue Like a breeze drifting over the sand Thrilled by the wonder of you And the wonderful touch of your hand And...

My heart starts to b*at Like a child when a birthday is near So kiss me, my sweet It's the loveliest night of the year...

Don't you touch those wires!

Don't you touch those wires!

Let me down!

Ladies...

don't you touch those wires!

Ladies and gentlemen, my version of "Babalu." Ay-ay-ay-ay.

(screams)

Ricky!

Babalu...

(I Love Lucy theme music plays)