01x23 - Blind Ambitions

Complete collection of episode scripts for "The Golden Girls" seasons 1-7. Aired: September 1985 to May 1992.*
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Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia live together in Miami and experience the ups and downs of their golden years.
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01x23 - Blind Ambitions

Post by bunniefuu »

Thank you for being a friend

Your heart is true

You're a pal and a confidante

And if you threw a party

Invited everyone you knew

You would see the biggest gift would be from me

And the card attached would say

"Thank you for being a friend"

Oh, Lily, honey, how do you like your steak?

Oh, medium's fine.

- Why are we cooking outdoors?
- Ma, we're having a barbecue.

Do you know what they call cooking meat over an open fire in Sicily?

- No. What?
- Poverty.

- Gee, those steaks smell good.
- What do you know, Rose?

You thought you could go out in the ocean and catch fish sticks.

Oh, I just love barbecues.

We used to have the most wonderful ones back home.

I can remember sitting out under a big old tree with the Darcy triplets -

Hank, Beau and Dove.
Eating and talking and laughing.

And then along towards the end of the meal, why, the boys always got into a fight over who was going to get to lick the barbecue sauce from my fingertips and kiss away the little droplet of butter that always drizzled down my chin.

Has it gotten awful hot out here?
I'll go get the lemonade.

We used to cook outdoors all the time when we were kids.

- Remember our camping trips, Lily?
- Oh, I sure do.

During the summer, our father would take the whole family on camping trips into the wilderness.

Of course, it wasn't really the wilderness.

He'd drive in circles for about minutes and then end up in the woods just beyond the barn.

It was years before all the kids caught on to Dad's trick.

What do you mean, just beyond the barn?

Here we are. A nice, fresh pitcher of ice-cold lemonade.

Pour me a cup, would you? I'm sweating like a horse.

Here, Sophia, let me get it for you.

- That's OK, honey. I'll do it.
- No, now, Rose, please.

I told you when I first arrived I didn't want any special treatment.

I'm sorry.

It's been nearly six months now since I lost my sight.

And I've learned to cope with just about anything.

You know, when I was in college, I taught school part-time at one of those schools for the blind.

It is really amazing what they can accomplish.

Oh, I went to one of those schools for a little while.

It's just a lot of talking and hand-holding.
Never been so bored in my life.

I think I'm just the kind of person that likes to get out there and do it.

Did you know that my sister Lily still holds the record at our high school for the -yard dash?

She served three terms on the city council, and she was the first woman in St. Olaf's to ever have a pilot's license.

Oh, really? Well, we have something in common, Lily.

I was the first woman in my hometown ever to have a pilot.

Blanche's bed is next to the X- at the Space and Aviation Museum.

Would you be interested in going to an outdoor concert tonight?

Oh, you couldn't drag me out of this house tonight.

St. Elsewhere's on. That's my favorite program. I never miss it.

- You still watch television?
- Well, I don't really watch it.

- I just pretend it's radio.
- We don't exactly watch it, either.

With our crummy TV, we get two channels at once.

For a while there, I thought Benson was having an affair with Miss Ellie.

Listen, Mom, we cannot afford a new TV.

We're using the household money to repair the roof and repave the driveway.

Great. And what am I supposed to do while every other old lady on the block is watching Cosby?

You can sit in the new driveway and hope that an amusing black family drops by.

Maybe we could sell our old TV and use the money towards one of those new stereo models.

Sell it? Honey, I don't think we could give it away.

Oh, you would be amazed at the things people will buy.

When I moved from my house into the apartment,

I had a garage sale and I made a lot of money.

'Course, I probably would've made a lot more if I could tell a one from a .

Ooh, girls, let's do that.
Let's have a garage sale.

Well, can we get in trouble having a garage sale?

I mean we're not actually selling a garage.

If it's a choice between the two of them, let the blind one make change.

Isn't it amazing that three people could accumulate so much stuff?

Will you look at this.

I got this doll on my tenth birthday.

Oh, I can't believe I've kept her all these years.

Her hair is falling out, her clothes are all worn, she smells of mothballs.

Hey, I may not be Ann-Margret, but I'm still your mother.

Girls, look at this! Look at this!

You know, I remember wearing this outfit the night George took me to Woodstock.

Oh, what a night. I will never forget it.
Listening to the music of Mr. Richie Havens and Mr. Bob Dylan, and then making love in the mud.

You went to Woodstock?

Well, actually it was the movie, but afterwards we did go home and make love in the mud.

I guess the s were a confusing time for all of us, Blanche.

Oh, gee, I'd forgotten I had these candlesticks.

They were Mother's. Oh, they'd be perfect for the alcove table.

- Oh, let me do it.
- Oh, no, wait, Lily.

- Now, Rose, I'm fine.
- No, I'm just gonna get your cane.

No, I don't need that.

Last night I memorized the layout for the whole house.

Now, please stop treating me as if I'm totally helpless.

I'm sorry. You know how I am.
I guess I'm overprotective.

Who invited Gidget to the garage sale?

Girls, I'm feeling a little chilly.
I think I'll go and get my sweater.

- Oh, no. I'll get that for you.
- Rose, for heaven's sakes.

I can find my own way.
I know you're trying to help, but if I could pilot my own plane cross-country during a storm,

I can certainly find my way across the room.

There! Now, do you see that I don't need anybody's help?

Oh, my God! Rose!

Rose! Rose, help!

Oh, wait! Don't get over there, darling.

- Come over here. Stand back.
- What was it?

It's all right, it's all right.
She's putting it out.

There we go. It's all right.

Is everyone all right?

Oh, everyone's fine.
We just had a little accident.

Well, we didn't have a little accident.
Lily had a little accident.

- Blanche, please.
- I'm sorry.

I guess I'm not used to your stove.

Maybe you shouldn't have been cooking on it, darling.

- Well, somebody could've gotten hurt.
- I said I was sorry.

It was an accident.

Let's be fair. It could've happened to any one of you.

Rose, Lily can't go on like this.
You have to do something.

Well, I think you girls are overreacting.
I mean, it was just a little grease fire.

- No harm done.
- This time!

- What if nobody'd been home?
- Rose, it's not just the fire.

What do you expect me to do?

There's nothing you can do, Rose.
She has to learn to do things for herself.

Honey, maybe she ought to go back to that school.

Well, you heard her. It's not for her.
She's a very independent person.

No, she's not, Rose.

Not till she learns to be independent as a blind person.

I'll talk to her.

Rose?

Yes. Lily, I just...

I know, you wanted to see if I was all right.

Rose, really, I'm fine.

I've been having accidents since I was two years old.

This is not a major crisis.
You don't have to worry about me.

Well, it's hard for me not to.

I know. That's because you're a worrier.
I remember when you were six years old and Dad got you that puppy for your birthday.

You worried because you thought her paws were too big and that the other dogs would laugh at her.

Well, they did!
They used to bark and point at her.

Everybody pointed at her.

You made her wear a bonnet and matching booties.

Don't change the subject on me, Lily.

Honey, I'm worried about you.

Oh, Rose. You'd be worried if you couldn't find anything to worry about.

- And stop pouting. I was only teasing.
- How did you know I was pouting?

You always pout when I tease you.

- Always?
- Always. You're a pouter, Rose.

- A pouter and a worrier.
- Well, maybe you're right.

But I think I have a good reason to be worried this time.

Lily, I think you're trying to do too much by yourself.

I've never been one to depend on other people, Rose. You know that.

But this is different.

You're not trying out for the track team in high school.

You're trying to learn to cope with daily life as a blind person.

Do you see this dress, Rose?
It's my favorite.

It's awfully pretty.

It's my favorite because it's the only one I can clearly remember.

I remember what it looks like.

And I remember what it looks like on me.

And because of that, I wear it all the time.

- You will adjust, Lily.
- I don't want to adjust!

I want to be the person that I used to be!

But you have to face the truth.
You need help!

Now, you can deal with it, but you can't do it all by yourself.

Rose, all my life I've done everything I wanted to do.

Nothing's ever stood in my way before.

For the past six months, that's how I've been trying to deal with everything.

I thought that I could overcome this thing by myself.

I guess that deep down inside, I thought I could make it go away.

But I can't.

Every morning when I wake up, it's still there.

And that terrifies me.

Rose, I do need your help.
That's why I came to Miami.

To ask you to come home with me.

Oh, Rose, please come home with me!

I can't make it by myself.

Oh, honey.

So I think the best thing I can do is move back to Lily's place in Chicago.

It'll be a lot easier for me to get used to new surroundings than it would be for her.

You really think you moving to Chicago is gonna solve Lily's problems?

I want to help her.

Oh, but I don't think you're helping her by offering to be a nursemaid.

- I mean, Lily is not an invalid.
- You don't understand.

All our lives, Lily was the one who always took care of me.

It doesn't matter what I think is best for her.

If Lily wants me to take care of her, I can't refuse.

Well, seems to me that part of the reason you're doing this is out of guilt.

- Maybe you're right.
- Honey, it's a terrible thing to do something out of guilt.
Believe me, I know.

Just about the time that George and I were getting serious, he was shipped off to Korea.

Well, I wanted to do my part for the w*r effort, so I took a job in a factory that made canteens.

I figured that one of the canteens that I had riveted would somehow find its way to George, and his lips would drink from the galvanized spout

I had so lovingly fashioned, thereby symbolically reuniting us.

Oh, Blanche, that's a beautiful reason to take that job.

Well, that wasn't the only reason.

That factory also had a comprehensive dental plan, and I was in desperate need of a bridge and two crowns.

w*r is hell.

So were my teeth. Anyway, while I was working on that assembly line, why, I met a young man named Andrew Beandorf.

It was just a platonic thing. We just went out to the movies and dinner.

But when George came home on leave, he was furious.

He accused me, unjustly, of infidelity while he was off fighting in some foreign land, some godforsaken land where people didn't even believe in Jesus.

And he forbade me ever to see Andrew again. So, of course, I didn't.

So you lost a good friend just because George made you feel guilty about it.

That's right. I lost a good friend and a wonderful companion and an excellent lover.

An excellent lover?

Did I say "excellent lover"?
Oh, no, I meant excellent riveter.

I can understand how you could confuse the two.

Anyway, the point is guilt is a very bad thing. Story over.

I was just talking to Lily. I hear you're moving with her back to Chicago.

- That's right.
- Good idea.

Now you can ruin your life and hers.

I got dibs on Rose's room.

Sophia, you just don't understand.

Please, Rose.
What I forgot, you'll never know.

Tell her, Dorothy, how bad off I was when I had my stroke.

You were really sick, Ma.

You know, in the beginning, she couldn't walk, she couldn't talk, she couldn't even feed herself.

All I could do was sit and feel sorry for myself, which is what I did all the time.

But you got better.

Yeah, because she stopped coddling me.

She screamed, she hollered, day and night. She made me do my therapy.

She forced me to rebuild my life because she knew I could.

- And for that I'll always be grateful.
- Oh, thanks, Ma.

I only have one question.

Now that I'm better, why do you still scream and holler at me?

I'm not sure what was best for you is best for Lily.

Look, you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway.

You want to help your sister?
Help her to help herself.

Sophia, that was a very sweet thing for you to do.

Hey, Rose is a good kid, and I like her a lot.

But after all is said and done, I would sell Dorothy to the gypsies to get that bedroom.

- How much?
- Two bucks.

Get wild - treat yourself.

- Nah, I'll give you a dollar fifty.
- What does this look like, Baghdad?

Get the hell out of here!

Ma, that's no way to sell things!

Hey, go to Neiman Marcus sometime, see if they treat you any better.

- How we doing?
- Honey, I don't think we've sold a thing.


I don't get it.

I'll give you a dollar for these Elvis Presley salt and pepper shakers.

A dollar? I will have you know the day I bought these salt and pepper shakers at the Graceland gift shop, I thought I saw the King himself walk by, eating a giant chili cheeseburger and drinking a -ounce Dr. Pepper.

Turned out it was an impersonator, but these are still very precious mementoes.

And parting with them is an extremely painful sacrifice on my part.

- A buck and a quarter.
- A dollar and a quarter?

Sir, if that is the respect you have for genuine Elvis memorabilia, then I kindly suggest you hand these over and remove yourself from my property.

Blanche!

Blanche, I can't believe that you did that!

I mean, they're just a silly salt and pepper shaker.

The King is gone, Dorothy.

But we must cherish the things he left behind - his movies, his songs...

And his seasonings.

Oh, give me that!
No, this was a mistake.

- What's going on?
- Oh, Mr. Longfellow got in by mistake.

He is not for sale.
Isn't that right, Mr. Longfellow?

Yes, it is, Rose!

Rose, in my opinion, it is time to say bye-bye to Mr. Longfellow and Elvis.

I mean, what's the use of having a garage sale if we can't part with anything?

- How much for this hockey stick?
- $ .

- Dorothy!
- This isn't an ordinary hockey stick.

Bobby Hull used this.
This is a piece of history.

It's a piece of junk.
And the price tag says four dollars.

- Four fifty.
- I'll take it.

Uh, OK, but listen. Before you go, come into the house with me.

I'll show you the kind of wood oil that I use on it.

Wood oil? Are you buying that?

'Course not. Everyone knows you use paraffin wax on parched wood.

Come on.

- Six dollars!
- No!

- I'll give you ten!
- I don't want to sell it back!

I'll give you and don't ever show your face around here again!

Sold.

He didn't want it.
He said there's a nick in it.

We have to have a return policy.

Oh, girls, listen. Let's face it - all that so-called junk out there has too many fond memories for all of us.

We're never gonna be able to part with it.

We might just as well call this whole garage sale off.

And kiss our new TV goodbye.
Isn't that right, Mr. Longfellow?

- (high-pitched Yes, it is, Rose.
- Please!

Listen, I have a great idea.
It's a little strange, it's a little bizarre, it's slightly off the wall, but it just might work.

- What is it, Dorothy?
- Why don't we each take $ from our pockets, make a down payment on a new TV, and then pay the rest off on time.

Sounds good to me.

Let's go tell everybody that the sale's over.

You wait right there. I'll be right back.

- Rose?
- Yes, Lily?

Could you help me get to the sofa, please?

Oh, sure, honey. Here you go.

Thank you. You're not getting tired of me yet, are you?

Oh, don't be silly.

Oh, Rose, I really appreciate what you're doing for me.

- I really do.
- Don't mention it.

Could you please get me a glass of water?

Sure.

Lily, you've been here a week now.
You know where the kitchen is.

Well, I figured the way I've been crashing into everything, you'd rather get it.

Maybe you should get your drink of water yourself.

I thought you said you'd look after me, Rose.

Lily, if you can't even get yourself a drink of water, you're helpless.

- And that scares me.
- How do you think I feel?

Well, I think you're scared too, but you won't admit that you need help.

Professional help to get on with your life.

Oh, I've given this a lot of thought, Lily, and I really think it's the best way.

Rose, you're not coming back to Chicago with me, are you?

No.

How can you turn your back on your own sister?

I'm not turning my back on you.
I love you.

I'm just trying to do what I think is best for you.

What you think is best?
What do you know about being blind?

Oh, Lily, this is very painful for me.

Please don't make it any harder than it already is.

I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry.

I promise, I won't ever ask you for anything again.

All right, I'll see you in a week.
Now, I'll call myself collect tonight and you'll tell them I'm not home and that way you'll know I arrived safely and you won't have to lie to the phone company. Goodbye.

Bye.

- I forgot my purse.
- Oh.

I know I'm forgetting something else.
I know it, I just know it.

Oh, come on now, Rose.
Calm down.

Are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Oh, yes. Lily and I have barely spoken since she left.

That was two months ago.

Oh, I can't say no to Lily.
I have to go.

I mean, I said no to her when she asked me to come live with her, but I can't say no when she asks me to come visit.

And I know she's gonna ask me to come live with her again, and I'm just gonna say no.

I think. I'm such a wreck!

You know, you could just cancel your reservation and think it over one more day.

No. I think you should go and stick to your g*ns.

Right. I've made my decision - I'm gonna stand by it.

No matter what happens, I'm not gonna turn back.

I forgot my raincoat.

Silly.

- Now what'd you forget?
- I forgot to kiss you two goodbye.

- Oh, goodbye, sweetie.
- Goodbye.

Come on now, come on now.
Get out of here.

You come back more times than Shirley MacLaine.

Thank you for flying Air Florida.
Hope you enjoyed your flight.

Thank you for flying Air Florida.
I hope you enjoyed your flight.

Oh, I certainly did, and I want to especially thank you for that pillow from first class.

- They're so much fluffier.
- Oh, you're welcome, but that was Julie.

I'm the one that got you the Dramamine and the packs of smokehouse almonds.

Can I bother you one more time?

Ten packs is all I can give you.
I told you that on the plane.

I just want to know which way to the baggage claim.

Oh, thank you.
And thanks again for the wings.

Rose? I knew that was you.

Lily!

- Oh, honey, what are you doing here?
- I wanted to surprise you.

- Oh!
- Surprise!

- Did you come all this way by yourself?
- No, I came with Becky.

Well, Becky, how do you do?

Oh, Rose.

I had to see you again because I felt terrible about the way we left things.

- Oh, so do I.
- Oh, Rose, I owe you an apology.

I was angry at the world because I couldn't see it anymore.

That's why I wanted you to take care of me.

I didn't think it was worth the effort to do it myself.

But you didn't give me any other choice.

So I went back to that school.

And once I got out there and started learning a few things,

I realized that the effort is worth it.

Oh, I still have a long way to go, but Becky and I are doing OK.

Oh, I feel so silly.

I came out here to talk some sense into you, and you didn't even need me.

Oh, yes, I did, Rose.
I needed you to see that you were right.

Now you... Excuse me, Becky.
You take my arm. I'm gonna lead you.

Now, Rose, you always had a terrible sense of direction.

You take my arm - I know the way.
It's steps right down this way.

And watch out for the wad of gum on the st.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Oh, this is nothing.

Wait till you see me drive home.
Come on, Becky.

One, two, three...
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