01x10 - Christmas Wishlist

Episode transcripts for the TV show "A Million Little Things". Aired: September 2018 to current*
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Group of Friends living in Boston who met unexpectedly and learn about life and each other after one of them commits su1c1de.
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01x10 - Christmas Wishlist

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "A Million Little Things"...

You had sex with Ashley?

Are you at all worried about this?

He's talking about Maggie.

She ended things with me.

She's not just your ex. Maggie's our friend.

The guys needed to know if you were up for touring.

You're standing a couple feet from the bottle

and you're not drinking it.

This could be huge.

ROME: I don't know how you do it all, babe.

Launching a new restaurant, taking care of the house...

And reminding you to take your meds.

Which I already did.

No, you didn't.

No, I didn't. Damn it.

I just want what's best for you.

Pretending you're not the father,

I know it's unbearable.

It's got to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

After all the business

that Jon has thrown your way,

you're just gonna, what,

sit there and screw his family over?

GARY: You, Jon...

You went through the whole thing with me,

and you convinced me to live,

and then you left me.

EDDIE: Gary, no!



[CELLPHONE BUZZING]



[CELLPHONE BUZZING]

[CELLPHONE CLICKS]

[GROANS]

Morning?

Another dream? Oh, man.

Regina, I cannot be held responsible for the things that I do in your dreams.

- You were kissing her.
- Who?

Anika, and you were liking it.

I was?

And she was liking it.

Of course she was. But who's Anika?

The pastry chef from my old catering company.

And in my dream,

you two were doing some nasty things with frosting.

Oh, well, I do like frosting.

Oh, yeah, frosting.

- That's my favorite.
- [CHUCKLES]

Well, how about this?



Oh, Anika does that move.

Yeah? What about this?

[CHUCKLES] No.

Okay.

- I know what you're trying to do.
- Mm-hmm.

It's already : ,

and I've got to help Delilah get a Christmas tree.

And I promised Katherine that I would teach her

how to make a gingerbread house...

Both things that can wait to minutes.

- [GROANS]
- Five?

Since when do I have to att*ck you?



Fine.

[CHUCKLES]

Fine.

[GROANS]

But tonight, I will be having my way with you sexually.

[IN DISTANCE] Looking forward to it, Anika.

[LAUGHS]

- ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
- So, what happened, Superman?

My cape got caught in the mailbox.

It happens.

Those might be too small, T.

♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

You should ask Santa for some new ones.

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

How do you know how to sew, Mom?

Oh, Halmoni. When she and Halabuji came from Korea,

she was a seamstress so she could make money

and still be at home with me.

- ♪ What fun it is ♪
- Can I try?

Sure. [CHUCKLES]

- ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
- Okay, come sit.

Okay, you see that?

- Okay, put your foot on that.
- Mm-hmm.

- ♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- Go very slo... Whoa, okay.

Good job.

I know you're Santa Claus.

Santa Claus?

Me?

You think that Santa Claus is a real-estate attorney?

Superman worked at the Daily Planet.

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

Dad!

Hey, pal. How you doing?

Uh, I thought we said : ?

EDDIE: Oh.

I'm sorry, Clark Kent.

No, I was looking for Superman.

Will you let him know that I will be back at : ?

But we're done, right, Mom?

Can I go get ready to go Christmas tree shopping?

Sure.

Yes! Come on, Dad.

You're the best, Mom!

Second best.

Hello-o-o, Dixon family!

Who is that?

I come bearing gifts.

Come forth and be delighted.

Oh, wow. Who are you,

and what have you done with my friend Gary?

Yeah. I've literally never seen you this positive.

Well, fam, I appreciate the feedback.

But I think you'll find that, this year,

I'm all positive, all the time.

Which is why I got you this.

- Is it a video game?
- No, Soph, it's cooler than that.

That's a thing that lets you know

when you're done pulling the car into the garage.

You know, just in case you find yourself

parking while blindfolded.

But I do not know how to drive.

With this, it doesn't matter.

I got you that.

And I love it.

Admittedly, some of these are regifts.

Danny, don't worry. I didn't forget about you.

[LAUGHS]

This is for you.

It's a fishing pole.

Yeah.

Take it. Just take it, Danny.

- [LAUGHS]
- [CLEARS THROAT]

All right, all right, all right.

Third time's the charm.

Hut! Hut, hut!

[GASPS] Oh. It's a football.

And a speaker.

Go long. Here comes Coldplay.

[LAUGHS]

Well, I... I need a picture of this.

- Oh, wow.
- Wow.

Anyone seen my phone?

Mom, what is up with you?

You've been forgetting everything lately,

- like your phone and your keys.
- No, I'm not.

Can you go check and see if I left it

- with Ashley in the study?
- Yeah.

Oh. Finally, a use for that app that you got

so that you could spy on me.

It's not spying when I'm her mother, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. It's upstairs. I'll be right back.

Well, thank you for coming and spreading good cheer.

How are they doing, huh? These kids of yours?

DELILAH: Amazing.

Danny just got a used fishing pole.

Lucky fella.

What about you, huh?

How are you and your pregnancy brain,

or did you forget that you're pregnant?

D, when are you gonna tell them, hmm?

You said you were waiting for the second trimester.

And based on our "hello" hug,

I would say that you are there.

[LAUGHS]

I don't know.

I guess I'm just...

I'm worried.

It's Christmas.

It's gonna be very emotional.

Every time they look at my belly,

they're gonna think of Jon.

How could they not?

But that's why Merry Gary is in the house.

- [LAUGHS]
- I'm gonna find some tape.

I'm gonna help you put the rest of these decorations up.

You do that.

And then we're gonna get ourselves

a Nativity scene, sans Jesus.

And that's how we're gonna sneak your baby into this family.

- Ah, that's brilliant.
- [LAUGHS]

Do not B.S. me about FTC rules

when I know you break those all the time, Donny.

You knew Jon longer than I did.

Don't do this to this family.

It's almost Christmas.

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Come on, Donny.

I got to go.

Oh, hi.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I don't know who Donny is,

but I sure hope what we did didn't complicate things.

[CHUCKLES] Don't flatter yourself.

[CHUCKLES]

No, I, um...

I just was trying to get Danny one of those

build-your-own drone sets for Christmas,

and they're sold out.

Well, I like where your head's at.

It's all about helping this family

have an amazing Christmas, am I right?



Sorry about earlier,

but you are going to have plenty of Mom Time

once I'm on the road with the band.

Speaking of which...

Whoa. [LAUGHS]

I may be compensating

for having to work during Christmas.

I invented that move.

Thanks to my work guilt,

our son owns approximately six million pieces of LEGO.

I think I stepped on half of them.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, by the way...

[WHISPERS] I think he's on to us.

Did he ask you about Santa, too?

I was hoping he'd hold on to his innocence another year.

Yeah, me, too.

THEO: [IN DISTANCE] Hey, Dad, you ready?

Yeah, I'll be right out.

Hold on.

I'll have him back by : .

He says he wants a piggyback ride all day.

Maybe : .

[DOOR OPENS]

[CELLPHONE BUZZING]



Oh, no, no, no, no.

Ignore the signs. Everyone does.

- It's okay.
- No, I'm serious.

I make the rules around here,

and there's no way that any call you get

is gonna be louder than

[WHISPERING] Rachel and that gum.

It's like she's chewing a never-ending steak.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you, but...

I'm not telling anybody that I'm doing this

until after I get my first scan back.

Just don't want to get anybody's hopes up.

But this is all about hope.

Half of b*ating this is

believing that you're gonna b*at it.

And half is having a support system.

Is any part of it chemo?

[CHUCKLES]



[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Okay, people.

We're gonna get the biggest tree here.

How about we'd get the biggest tree that my lower back can carry.

- How about that?
- Yes.

You know what?

You got high ceilings and Mom's credit card.

Go for it. Let's do this.

- Yes! I love that idea.
- Yes. Yeah, let's do this!

Whoa, that was quite the mood swing.

I thought that I was the one on anti-depressants.

Wait, we can do bits about your dr*gs?

[SCOFFS]

- I'll circle back in minutes.
- ROME: Yeah.

DELILAH: Hey, stay together, okay?

And no touching the chainsaw.

[CHAINSAW BUZZING]

- On it.
- Good call.

- D? D?
- Mm.

Get a tin of tri-colored popcorn,

because the show has started.

Look at this sad sack

- trying to load his sad tree...
- Stop it.

...onto his sad car.

- Should we help him?
- No.

- [LAUGHS]
- No, Felix had his chance.

If he hadn't gambled it all away,

Rhonda wouldn't have moved back to Boca.

Who am I kidding? That's me in five years.

Doesn't have to be. Call her.

No, I can't do it.

Rhonda's still licking her wounds.

I will not do long-distance, D.

It's not fair to either of us.

I'm talking about Maggie.

I know who you're talking about,

and I can tell you exactly how that conversation ends...

With us arguing about whether or not she's gonna fight her cancer,

and I can't do it anymore.

And you know what?

Rhonda agrees with me.

Mom! Look!

It's fantastic!

- That is not fantastic.
- Oh, no.

I'm gonna go talk him out of that.

- Thank you.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

SOPHIE: Are you gonna be able to pick that up?

ROME: I don't know. That's the problem.

GARY: We're not gonna be one of those families that get a white tree.

- Hey.
- Hey.

ROME: I agree with him.

- So how are you feeling?
- I'm good. Good.

A little tired, but good.

How about you?

You... You excited to get back on the road?

I am. [CHUCKLES]

I never thought I'd have a chance

to play an arena again.

I did.



Ed. Ed. Can we get your help, please?

Yeah, come grab the middle part.

- I'll be back.
- Okay.

- Take the middle, please.
- What do we need?

Oh! Oh!

- D!
- Oh!

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

- You okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine. Yeah, oh, yeah.

For someone who just fell on her tush

in front of all these strangers, I'm fine.

Are you sure you're okay?

No, I'm good.

Let's get you back to the car.

Why?

She said she's fine. You're fine, right?

Yeah. Totally. Let's go see the tree.

See? Why are you guys making such a big deal about it?

Uh, it's nothing.

I just, you know... Just, you know,

I broke my ankle slipping on ice one time.

- Me, too.
- So did I.

Yeah.

Long story short,

trying to get autographs at the Ice Capades,

let the performers come to you.

Right?



Okay. Let's... I'm...

ROME: Should we just throw these lights away and buy new ones?

- Please.
- Here I come!

Here I come. Nobody... Nobody help me.

I don't want anybody's... I don't want anybody's help.

Okay.

- Get in there.
- All right.

- Yay.
- Wow.

- Look at that.
- Oh, that was smooth.

- Looks pretty great.
- Amazing.

Last year, you said it was a hazard

that b*rned down an average of homes per year.

Yeah, well, this year, I'm just thinking that.

All right, you guys. Let's trim this tree.

ROME: Let's do it.

DANNY: Yeah. Yeah.

- That's no small feat.
- No.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

JON: Ho, ho, holy cow, it's Christmas.

- Hello, there.
- Daddy!

Daddy? I haven't had kids since .

What do you mean "Daddy"?

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

♪ Christ, the everlasting Lord ♪

Sweetie, I know this is hard.

- ♪ Late in time behold him come ♪
- No, it's fine. It's fine.

♪ Offspring of the virgin's womb ♪

If I go in there, she's just gonna say she doesn't want to talk about it.

Maybe I go?

- ♪ Hail the incarnate deity ♪
- I live for rejection.

♪ Pleased as man with man to dwell ♪

[SIGHS]

Hey.

♪ Jesus, our Emmanuel ♪

Look, I know you're just trying to help,

But I really don't want to talk about it.

What?

I just want to make a turkey sandwich.

Want one?

No, thanks.

But since we are not talking about you,

mind if I talk about me?

[SIGHS] Eddie.

What? I just...

...feel upset

that I'm gonna be away for Christmas.

[SIGHS] And now, seeing all these decorations,

that's just making me more sad.

I know what you're doing.

Hmm? Oh, adding spicy mustard?

Do not tell anyone.

This is my secret ingredient.

Okay, Spicy Mustard.

You're trying to tell me

that it's okay to feel the way I do,

and that it's normal,

but I do not want to talk about it.

Great, 'cause we're here to talk about me.

And what I'm feeling is that

there have been so many changes.

And now, my not being able to be with Theo

for the holiday...

Which is really similar

to me not being able to be with Dad for the holiday.

Oh, that's interesting.

So, what do you think I... We... should do?

[SIGHS]

Not talk about it?

Not talk about it.

Then what? Are we just gonna eat our sandwiches?

I mean, maybe we cou bury ourselves in music.

Interesting tactic.

My guitar's in my car.

And mine is in my room.

I'll meet you in five minutes.

Deal.



Thanks.



- Hey, Regina's here!
- Hey.

- What's up, mama?
- Nice.

Thank you. You're the best.

GARY: That's what's up.

[LAUGHS]

It may not be frosting,

but I put a little extra marshmallow in there for you.

Good.

Ooh, guys, I have to call time out here.

Daniel Dixon...

is this or is this not

a picture of you on the potty?

- Aww.
- Hey!

DANNY: Oh, ho...

- It is.
- Danny...

- I believe it is.
- No, no!

I think it is!

Hey, guys, that was the only way we got him to sit still.

- That's...
- Oh!

That's Sophie.

Yeah, 'cause Dad would make us

take a picture for an ornament every year,

and that one is my favorite.

DANNY: Yeah, well, let's see if it still is

when we pull out yours, okay?

I do not have a bad one like that.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

JON: What do you think?

Yeah?



GARY: Excuse me.

- [LAUGHS]
- Ooh!

- Oh, you wish.
- [LAUGHS]

[GUITAR CHORD PLAYS]



- [SNIFFS]
- ASHLEY: Hey.

You okay?

No, I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

I don't want to... I don't want to give gifts.

I don't want to drink eggnog.

I want to know... why.

Come on, Jerry!

You said you had the votes.

Damn it.

If you knew everything, w-why he did it...

would that change anything for you?

Yeah, it would, I think.



I don't know.

I know it's hard to fake it,

but, like you said,

the only thing that matters right now

is making sure this family has a great Christmas.

Suck it up. You're right. You're right.

[CHUCKLES] There's a -year-old boy out there

who's stronger than me.

And he's just waiting for you to go make a joke

about him sitting on the potty.

I got to get out there,

and I got to poke fun at an innocent child.

If anyone can do it, it's you.

Well, it's the holidays.

It's the least I can do.





ASHLEY: Donny, don't make any moves until I get there.

I'm gonna say something really controversial here.

Why hadn't anyone called Santa

on this one work-day a year thing?

Dude works one day a year?

And in fairness, I just quit my job.

I'm one working day away from being black Santa Claus.

Okay. They think we're getting decorations.

We got, like, four minutes?

- What?
- Let's play b*at the Clock.

Yeah, right here, right now, Black Santa.

Drop your pants.

Regina...

Do I have to remind you...

that we are here to spread Christmas cheer.

Which is exactly what I am doing, Mr. Howard.



[BELT JINGLES]



[QUIETLY] It's the pills.



Okay.



DELILAH: Hi!

You made it.

I got your voicemail.

Thank you for the invite.

Why decorate my tree alone

when I could have my friends do it for me, right?

You're a very smart woman.

You guys, we're gonna need more lights.

We need...

Ah.

Oh, Maggie, you know what? We ran out of lights.

Could you maybe run back out and, um,

pick up a box at the... At the Christmas tree lot?

Uh, two things...

I don't have a car,

and I don't know where that is.

Oh, which is where you and your new car

could come into play.

Uh...

He's got a new car.

Oh.

DANNY: Hey, Gare, kiss her.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, you're under the mistletoe.

You got to kiss.

I don't make the rules. I just enforce them.

What you call "mistletoe" is, in fact, a parasite

whose seeds are spread through bird feces.

So you'll understand if I'm not inclined to pucker up.

Uh, and I decline the kiss for a host of other reasons.

[REEL CRANKING]

And you think it's because of the medication?

I think it's because of everything.

Is... Is it something I'm doing?

N-Not in the way you're thinking.

You're beautiful,

and every part of me wants to play b*at the Clock with you.

But not every part of me can.

And I don't know... I don't...

I don't know if it's because of the pills

or if it's because I'm just not feeling like myself.

Like...

W-Well, what do you mean by that?

T-Tell me.

Even that.

I know you're just taking care of me,

and I love you for it, but...

at the same time, you're taking care of me.

I'm supposed to be the man.

And right now...

I don't feel like one.

I still got the rug burns on both my knees ♪

It's been three days since the afternoon

You realized it's not my fault, not a moment too soon

Yesterday, you'd forgiven me

And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry

♪ Chickity China, the Chinese chicken ♪

♪ You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' ♪

♪ Watching "X-Files" with no lights on ♪

♪ We're dans la maison ♪

♪ I hope the Smoking Man's in this one ♪

♪ Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic ♪

♪ Like Sting, I'm tantric ♪

- [MUSIC STOPS]
- ♪ Like... ♪

[SNIFFS]

♪ Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy ♪



[INHALE SHARPLY]

[EXHALING SHARPLY]

- [GUITAR CHORD PLAYS]
- F minor.

- There you go. See?
- Thanks.

But we're gonna introduce the, uh, B minor now.

[GUITAR PLAYS]

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

[GUITAR CONTINUES]

- Okay, so...
- Eddie, can I, um,

ask you to help me reach something in the kitchen?

Yeah, sure.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Keep going, Soph.

I don't think we should panic.

I mean, a little spotting doesn't mean

- that there's necessarily a problem.
- But you... You fell.

So we're gonna get you to the doctor.

I just... I don't want the kids today to...

D, we're going.

Brr!

Uh... what's going on?

Is everything all right?

EDDIE: Hey, guys.
Your mom forgot to, uh,

- pick up the sparkling apple juice.
- Yeah.

Just another thing I've been forgetful about.

ROME: But Aunt Regina and Uncle Rome are here.

And that apple juice, we just... Sparkling apple juice...

Are you kidding me? Yeah, we need that.

Uh, not helping.

So, uh, Soph, keep practicing,

Danny, keep decorating,

and your mom and I will be back before you know it.

- Go.
- Bye.

DELILAH: Bye.

Okay?

Got to have that sparkling apple cider,

'cause... it's juice.

It's juice?

Stop.

It's juice.

- Okay.
- My mouth's watering.

We got margaritas for the adults...

Yeah, I'll take that one. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. And virgin margarita for the young adults.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let's make sure we got the right glasses.

♪ All is calm ♪

Yeah, good catch.

- Here you go.
- Hey, hold up.

We need umbrellas and bendy straws.

- Ah!
- Yes.

We do.
- Yeah. I'll get 'em.

- We do.
- You know what?

Honestly, I don't think I could even do a margarita

without an umbrella.

It just makes sense.

Hey, didn't Mom and Eddie

go to get sparkling apple juice?

Yeah.

Got to have the sparkling apple juice.

'Tis the reason for the season.

Yeah, but there's, like, four bottles here.

No. No, no, n-not...

No, sparkling apple cider, you know, not the juice.

The juice... is disgusting. Don't drink the juice.

What's you doing, babe? I'm... I'mma go with you.

- REGINA: Yep.
- Let me see it.

That was weird.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

I'm on the tracking app,

and it says that Mom's at Boston General.

What?

I'm... I'm sure it's fine,

but I'm gonna go check it out, okay?

- You have to stay here.
- I'll go with you.

No, you have to cover for me.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

You're absolutely sure that D wants just...

Just white lights?

Uh, the lights that match the rest of the tree?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what she wants.

Okay, that man is older than Christmas,

- and he just pulled out his checkbook.
- Yeah.

- Let's do this.
- Yeah.

BRYCE: Beep, beep.

Okay, then.

Okay, great.

Beep, beep.

Good job, Honey.

GARY: "Beep, beep"?

This is unbelievable. Are you seeing this?

I see what your eyes see, and I also cannot believe it.

Uh, excuse us.

- Sorry, uh...
- Hi.

All we have is this one sad little box of Christmas lights,

so would you mind if we jumped over you there?

I would, actually.

Sorry. Uh, we're in a bit of a rush.

Wow. That's...

Because we probably wouldn't have picked this line

if we had known that all of Aisle

was gonna cut in front of us.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe they're opening their own Christmas tree lot.

Like, a satellite office.

Like they're franchising.

For your information, this is my husband.

Oh.

Well, I'm happy for you that you found each other.

Aww, what you have seems so special.

What you are doing is total crap.

Excuse me?

Well, it's just that, on Earth,

- the planet that we're on...
- Here.

Yeah, there's, like, a way to do things.

Yes. On this planet, we have what we call a... a social contract.

Not that it's any of your business,

but I'm actually feeling a little under the weather,

so I'd like to get home.

- Aww.
- Aww.

Got a little sniffle?

Oh, my gosh, that's terrible.

I am so... It must be going around.

Yeah, you know what's not going around?

- Huh? Ah!
- Breast cancer.

And yet we both have it.

Very rare in men, but I got it.

- But it's more common in women.
- It is.

Right. Still kind of weird, 'cause I got it twice.

[IMITATES expl*si*n]

And yet you don't see us cutting in line

with a pallet of Christmas.

No, you don't.

- Go ahead.
- Aww.

- Bryce, what are you doing?
- I'm so sorry.

- Thank you.
- So sorry.

It's very, very sweet. Feliz Navidad.

Very nice. What a gentleman.

They're gonna have problems tonight.

- Okay.
- Did Halmoni teach you how to do this, too?

[LAUGHS]

My mom would never let me play with my food.

This is Auntie Regina.

Are we putting up the gutters or eating the gutters?

I'm just cutting it to size, Mom.

♪ Colored lights and candy canes ♪

Mmm.

Practical and delicious.

[LAUGHS]

♪ A crackling fire calls out your name ♪

It's really hard getting older.

It is.

What do you find hard?

I don't like that my boots don't fit anymore.

And it's not just that.

There's so many changes happening.

♪ Close to the one I love the most ♪

There are.

They can be tough.

♪ Holly hung with mistletoe ♪

You have any ideas what we should do about it?

♪ Silver packages with bright red bows ♪

Maybe we should ask Santa.

♪ Ask the children, they all know ♪

I think that's a great idea.



This one is way too long.



[BOTH LAUGH]


Hey.

- It's gonna be okay.
- Mm-hmm.

Thanks for being here with me.

Of course.

[BREATHES DEEPLY] Mm.

What?

It's just, um...

When Theo was born,

with my drinking,

I wasn't there.

So as crazy as this situation is,

I get a chance to do what I didn't do the first time.

Hello. I'm Dr. Ehrlich.

So, you fell on the ice and had some spotting.

I did, yes.

How far along are you?

weeks.

If you want to lay back there,

let's see how your baby's doing.

- Okay.
- I'm gonna be outside.

No. Stay.

You're the father. You need to be here.



You were such a great dad today.

[CHUCKLES]

I just want everybody to be okay.



I think my... [LAUGHS]

I think my favorite was, uh,

"I don't want to spend the year I have left

standing in line behind you."

[CHUCKLES] Mmm. Delicious.

Here.

Mmm, mmm.

[LAUGHS]

Look at us bonding over cancer.

It's a nice change.

So... friends?

Yeah. I can do friends.

I don't think you can do friends.

- I have tons of friends.
- Yeah.

I'm stupid with friends.

No, I'm talking about female friends.

I have female friends.

No, I'm talking about women

who are not just your friends

because they are the spouses of your guy friends.

Just eat your brittle.

[LAUGHS] Oh.

And keep it in the tin.
Come on, this is a new car.

Calm down.

The only thing better than new-car smell

is peanut brittle smell.

Wow. What is...

What have we here?

Is this a... Another one of your friends

who you cannot be friends with?

Screw it.

If we're gonna be friends, I can tell anything, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, great.

[SIGHS] You remember, uh, my neighbor

who accused me of stealing her paper?

Mrs. Goldfeine, the old lady with a walker?

Well, she wore me down.

She wore me down, and she broke my heart,

and I broke her hip.

[LAUGHS]

We did it right where you're sitting.

Oh, great.

And it took me an hour and a half

to get her out of the car.

Well, thank you, Mrs. Goldfeine,

'cause this scarf is mine now.

Okay. Good news.

The amniotic sac has not been compromised,

- so your baby's fine.
- Okay.

Uh, maybe just take it easy for the next couple of days...

You know, avoid stress.

It's a holiday, so that should be easy, right?

Right. [CHUCKLES]

Okay. I'll send the nurse in to sign you out.

Thank you, Doctor.

What'd I tell you, huh? Everything's fine.

Um, excuse me.

I'm looking for my mom, Delilah Dixon.

Oh, yeah. Your mom is in Room .

She's fine.

And the baby is perfectly healthy.

Go see her. Go see your mom.



Mom. Oh, my God. I was so worried.

Sophie, w-what are you doing here?

I... I saw on my phone that you were here, and...

You're pregnant?

[SIGHS]

Why didn't you tell me?

I was gonna tell you.

I... I was just trying to find the right time,

and... and I wasn't...

I wasn't sure how you'd react.

I mean, are you kidding?

It's great.

And if it's a boy, then we should name him Jon.



That's a great idea.





Oh, Mom, can we tell Danny the good news?

Yes, of course.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

I'm sorry.

I just... I can't afford to have her hate me right now.

She just lost her dad.

Maybe when she's , she can hate me then,

but right now, I just...

You did the right thing.

[SIGHS]

You should be there when she tells Danny.

[DOOR OPENS]

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

Are you eating the patio furniture?

Maybe?

You just brushed your teeth.

Let me get you a graham cr*cker,

something that's not part of the foundation.

[CELLPHONE BUZZES]

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

Hello?

- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
- Oh.

How did you get my number?

Oh, wow.

No, Theo's right here.

Who is it?

[MOUTHING WORDS] Santa Claus.

Uh... N-No. Sure, Santa.

He's been thinking about it.

He would like a pair of boots

just like the ones Superman would wear.

[QUIETLY] Only rainproof.

Only rainproof.

Okay. Thanks.

Tell him to say hi to Rudolph for us.

Say hi to Rudolph for us.



And one more thing.

W-What is it, Santa?

When you were pregnant with Theo,

I could've been better.

[SIGHS]

Katie, I'll never forgive myself for not being there.

Thanks for saying that, Santa.

Okay, Danny.

I think that's as good as it's gonna get.

- That is nice.
- Whoo.

All right. I think she's ready.

All right, people.

Let's light this bad boy up.

Bam!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

All right, well, Jon usually made a speech,

even though it's not really my thing, but, um...

I just wanted to say thank you all for today

and for every other day.

Danny, Sophie, and I are really lucky to have all of you.

And this little... this little nugget is lucky, too.

- Aww.
- [ CHUCKLES ]

But where is Sophie?

Ho, ho, holy cow, it's Christmas!

- Oh, my goodness.
- Holy cow.

REGINA: Wow.

[LAUGHING] Edward, are you ready?

Ready for what, Santa?

Oh, this?

Hey, everyone.

Well, as you all know,

I take off tomorrow morning,

and before I head out,

Santa and I would like to play you

a Yuletide private concert.

- What do you say?
- Oh, yeah!

- Whoo!
- Bring it!

Santa, you ready?

A , ...

[GUITARS PLAYING]

BOTH: ♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪

♪ We're so glad that we're all here ♪

♪ Maggie, did we mention, as our newest friend ♪

♪ You gotta pay for all the food this year ♪

- It's tradition, Maggie.
- No!

♪ You will get a sentimental feeling when you see ♪

♪ Gary in his Christmas sweater ♪

♪ Eddie definitely wears it better ♪

In your dreams.

♪ Rockin' around the Dixons' tree ♪

♪ At Delilah's party hop ♪

Ooh!

♪ Mistletoe weirdly dangling from ♪

♪ A fishing pole Danny got ♪

- Where'd you get that thing?
- It was regifted.

- [LAUGHS]
- Ooh.

- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

MAN: Delilah Dixon?

Yes.

What's this?

You've been served.

What?

You have days to vacate this house.

No, there's got to be a mistake.

My husband and I paid off this house years ago.

Maybe you should talk to him about that.





[LAUGHTER, GUITARS PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

SOPHIE: Oh, that is so awesome.

EDDIE: Sending this
one out to all you...

REGINA: [LAUGHS]

Hey.

Hey.

- Is everything okay?
- Yes. Yes.

EDDIE: Oh, yeah.

Regina, what you got for me? Come on.

I should get her home.

No. No, I don't want to interrupt the party.

I'm just gonna call a ride.

You know I'm your ride.

Thank you for being here with all of us today.

Oh, thank you for inviting me.

Oh, almost forgot my new scarf.

Oh, I got a scarf just like that for Ashley last Christmas.

Oh. Must be a very popular scarf.

Well, let's get you home, huh?

- Mm-hmm.
- All right.

Ashley, really?

[EXHALES SLOWLY] Here we go.

Mm.

I knew it. See, I knew it.

I knew that you couldn't just be friends.

Oh, no, I can be your friend.

- Then why are you so upset?
- I'm not upset.

Of course you're upset.

No, I'm not. I'm not upset.

Of course you're upset. How could you not be upset?

I slept with someone.

I am aware.

And you're upset.

[SIGHS]

Please don't tell me how I feel right now.

You have no idea what I am feeling.

Okay, then, how about... How about this?

How about I tell you how I'm feeling?

You want to know why I had sex with Ashley?

Oh, God, I don't know, Gary.

Why?

Because I'm in love with you.





Oh, no.

Ohh, no.



Ugh.

I'm so sorry.

This is your new car.



[INHALES SHARPLY] Ugh.



[GROANS SOFTLY]



Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, my God. You're doing chemo.

You're doing chemo.

You're doing chemo.



Hey, uh, thanks for dropping me off.

This is your car, your gas.

It's literally the least I could do.

Now, listen, you are going to crush this, okay?

Put it on Instagram.

I'll even consider getting an account.

Thanks for everything.

Also...

These people... [COUGHS]

I said these people.

Whoa. What, what, what, what?

- Hey!
- Us, comin' out?

- Hey!
- What?

- Yeah, go get some love.
- Dude.

Last chance, okay? Last chance.

Manager, okay?

I am the smart choice. Think about it.

Yeah. We have a manger. His name is Jeffrey.

Jeffrey's got you on a bus. I'd have had you on a jet.

- Safe travels, man.
- [LAUGHS]

♪ There's a battle ahead ♪

♪ Many battles are lost ♪

♪ But you'll never see the end of the road ♪

♪ While you're traveling ♪

- I want a concert T-shirt, okay?
- Done.

Not one of yours. The Lumineers.

[LAUGHTER]

- Okay, thank you.
- [LAUGHS]

♪ Don't dream it's over ♪

♪ Hey now, hey now ♪

♪ When the world comes in ♪

♪ They come, they come ♪

- ♪ To build a wall between us ♪
- Bud.

Have fun, Dad.

- ♪ We know that they won't win ♪
- Hey.

You have a great Christmas with Mom, okay?

Okay.

I love you.

♪ There is freedom within ♪

♪ There is freedom without ♪

♪ Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup ♪

- ♪ In the paper today ♪
- Please don't drink.

♪ Tales of w*r and of waste ♪

♪ But you turn right over to the TV page ♪

♪ Hey now, hey now ♪

♪ Don't dream it's over ♪

Mm.

[GLASSES CLINK]

Next year is gonna be better.

It will be.

I love you.



And I am gonna keep showing up for you.

You just tell me how.

I love you.

I'm blessed to have you in my life, Gina.

Mm-hmm.

[LAUGHING] And all I want for Christmas is us.

[CHUCKLES]



But before I can get back to us,

I got to get back to me, Gina.

And I will. I will.

I want to get off the meds, Gina.

♪ Now I'm walking again ♪

♪ To the b*at of a drum ♪

♪ And I'm counting the steps
to the door of your heart ♪

♪ Only shadows ahead ♪

♪ Barely clearing the roof ♪

♪ Get to know the feeling of liberation and release ♪

Oh, hey, there.

♪ Hey now, hey now ♪

♪ Don't dream it's over ♪

♪ Hey now, hey now ♪

♪ When the world comes in ♪

♪ They come, they come ♪

♪ To build a wall between us ♪

♪ We know they won't win ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SONG ENDS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hi.



I know I don't...

I don't have the right to ask this

after everything that's happened between us, but...

[SIGHS]



...I need your help.







[SIGHS]

So, uh, where are we?

Ah...

You'll see.



Jon.



What are we doing here?

[CHUCKLES]



I'm not the man everyone thinks I am.

♪ Don't let them win ♪

[LOCK DISENGAGES]

♪ Don't let them win ♪

♪ Don't let them win ♪
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