03x06 - A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon

- Dad, you busy?

- What do you want?

Would you teach me how to throw a baseball?

That one had some zip on it.

You might be a natural.

Look who I brought.

I don't normally do this, but put her there.

No mitten.

I'm honored.

We've never really discussed the status of our relationship.

As far as I'm concerned, we just pick up right where we left off.

- I think it's for the best if we don't.

- What?

I don't think we should be in a romantic relationship anymore.

Are you crazy?

I mean, poor choice of words, but are you crazy?!

You wanted to see me, Pastor?

- Cop a squat.

- Uh, please, have a seat.

I just wanted to thank you for all the work you've done preparing for the carnival.

Anything for the church.

I'm so glad you said that.

How would you feel if we put Sheldon in the dunk t*nk?

- What?

No.

- Aw.

But imagine how much people would pay to dunk him.

We'd raise so much money.

I'm in for $20, easy.

I'm not having people throw baseballs at my son.

They throw them at a target.

He's in a cage.

- No!

- Boo.

Okay.

I respect your decision.

Is that all?

Yes.

Well, damn.

I do so much for you.

Everybody excited for the carnival?

- Sure.

- I am.

- Pass.

- You're still going.

What time do I need to be there to set up?

Noon's fine.

What, you're helping out?

- Yeah.

- Why?

I want to support Mom.

And God.

You're just doing it 'cause Veronica's gonna be there.

And who made Veronica?

Mm.

Mom?

- What?

- You're coming with us, right?

No, I'm not.

Come on, it'll be fun.

The old lady wants to be cranky and alone.

You got to respect that.

I'm not cranky.

And I'm sick of everybody thinking that they know what's best for me.

Hey, did everybody see there's a sale at RadioShack on nine-volt batteries?

It's a golden opportunity to stock up.

Mom?

Yeah, baby.

Missy said that Meemaw is upset at Dr.

Sturgis.

Don't worry, she'll get over it.

The question is will she get over it by Friday at 4:00 p. m. ?

That's when we leave for my class.

I don't know, Shelly.

I suppose she could drop me off outside.

Where are we on me walking through parking lots alone these days?

How about this?

Um, until she's up to it, I'll take you.

Thanks.

The parking lot still gives me the willies.

Hey, do you want to help me paint these posters?

Not at all.

Oh, yeah, people would line up for that dunk t*nk.

Stop.

Oh!

Another one.

He's having a field day.

Yeah.

Hey.

We're getting ready to head over to the carnival.

Good for you.

Why don't you come with us?

Because I'm quite content right where I am.

Don't you think it'll be nice to get out of the house?

I can't believe I didn't think of that.

What a great idea.

- Thank you.

- So you're coming?

No.

Still cranky.

I can't find an umbrella.

What do you need an umbrella for?

It's gonna be hot and sunny.

I think you've answered your own question.

Does he really have to walk around with that?

He's fine.

- Leave him be.

- You're just begging to get b*at up.

I'm more concerned about the biggest bully of all: the Sun.

I bet you're disappointed that cute little blonde girl got sick and you're working with me.

I guess.

You're gonna learn life's like that.

A parade of disappointments.

Is that so?

Yep.

Sooner you give up, the better.

When did you give up?

June 14, 1945.

The man I loved came home from the w*r with syphilis.

Now ask me how I found out.

No, thank you.

You must be Cain, because you're not Abel to hit the target.

Oh, hello, Coopers.

Pastor Jeff.

Expecting rain, Sheldon?

No.

In this context, it's a parasol from the French "para" meaning "defense from" and "sol" meaning "sun. " Please, Mary.

No.

Will you dunk him?

Oh, you got it.

You might want to pray to the Lord for better aim.

I'll get you started.

Uh, Lord, help George Cooper hit something other than the buffet.

Sorry.

Trash talk's part of the job.

Can I throw one?

Sure.

Okay, now, remember what I taught you.

Look where you're throwing and follow through.

Uh-oh!

Dad's bringing in the big g*ns.

Let's see what you've got, little l Yes!

Yes!

I am baptized once again.

So I shacked up with him anyway.

Uh-huh.

I mean, what choice did I have?

I was pregnant with I don't know whose baby.

Uh-huh.

Sleeping on my cousin Arlene's couch.

Which was in her front yard.

Uh-huh.

Why, Lord?

Six in a row!

I taught her how to do that.

I bet you did.

This is a lot of fun, but why don't we let somebody else take a sh*t?

Missy!

Missy!

Missy!

Missy!

Missy!

Missy!

Missy!

Seven!

Hit him!

Hit him again.

Hello?

What?

Have you been on the couch all day?

No.

For your information, I got up, put my slippers on, crossed the street, - broke into your house and stole your beer.

- Mom.

But listen, if you've just come over here to badger me, please don't.

Fine.

I brought you fried chicken from the carnival.

I don't need your pity chicken.

Look, I know you're having a tough time.

I'm fine.

Okay.

Does that mean you'll still take Sheldon to Dr.

Sturgis's class?

No.

But I'm fine.

So you won't mind if I take him?

Do whatever you want.

See, when you say it like that, it sounds like you might mind.

How about this?

Darling daughter, please, do whatever it is that makes you happy.

If you're gonna act like this, then I'm gonna leave.

Oh, no.

And after I didn't open the door for you?

Hey, wait.

- Get me a beer.

- No.

Well, at least get me some chicken!

Dad, can I talk to you?

Uh, can it wait a minute?

It's pretty important.

So's this.

What?

I've been thinking about how much I enjoyed throwing that ball today.

You did great, honey.

I know.

That's why I want to play on a team.

You get that dunk t*nk isn't a sport?

I mean baseball.

Okay, sure.

They don't have any baseball teams for girls.

Wait a few years, you can play softball.

I don't want to wait.

I want to play baseball.

But you'd be the only girl.

I don't care.

Okay, well I-I guess I can look into it.

Thanks, Daddy.

Sure you don't want to play soccer or something?

Nope!

- Cheerleading?

- Baseball!

Yeah.

Right, y-yes.

Is it too late to sign someone up for youth league?

Okay.

Well, we'll see you then.

Thanks.

Missy want to play ball?

How do you know I wasn't calling for Sheldon?

Fine, it was Missy.

There's my favorite fire exit.

- Very well marked.

- Nice.

Ooh.

See that little step stool?

They didn't have that before I got here.

- Very impressive.

- I know.

And this is where I take my quantum field theory class.

Those are my college classmates.

I would tell you their names, but most of them won't make it to Christmas.

Got your beer.

They give you any problem?

Nah.

Change.

You keep it.

Hey.

I may be too drunk to drive, but I still can count to six.

Well, hello, Sheldon.

Hello, Mary.

I don't think I've ever seen you here before.

It's my first time.

- Huh.

- I took her on a tour.

It was extremely thorough.

So, uh - how's Connie?

- Actually Sheldon, why don't you - go save me a seat?

- Smart.

The front row is a hot ticket.

Anyway, uh, Mom's good.

Because she's usually the one who brings Sheldon.

Well, she's been pretty busy lately.

Relationships are a waste of time.

Flying solo is the only way to go.

Uh-huh.

Do you think Tarzan was happy with Jane?

No way.

He was happy swinging through the trees.

Uh-huh.

The Statue of Liberty she's got her book and her torch, and she's good.

Uh-huh.

I'm glad she's doing well.

Tell her I say hi.

- I will do that.

- Actually, no.

Uh, tell her I said hello.

"Hi" is a bit, uh, casual.

Or wait.

Greetings.

Just say, uh, "Greetings from John.

" You don't sound sure about that.

No, I don't.

The best thing is for you to just forget about this Veronica girl.

Uh-huh.

You should be playing the field, just like a bumblebee going from flower to flower.

Uh-huh.

And don't get confused about all this love nonsense.

Your freedom is the only thing that matters.

Uh-huh.

Be a sweet boy and get Meemaw a towel.

Uh-huh.

I need coffee.

You need a shower.

Missy, five minutes!

Oh.

Can you please?

Oh.

Sorry.

Been there.

She's hungover!

Wants us to keep it down!

Are you going for your baseball tryout?

- Yup.

- Will it include a written test?

No.

Well, just in case, here are some baseball facts that may come in handy.

It was invented in the 1830s.

The first officially recorded game was in 1846, and that game took place in Hoboken, New Jersey.

I won't need to know that.

Well, now you do, and you'll never forget it.

Already gone.

I'm starting to worry about you.

I just had a little too much to drink.

So what?

If you're upset about Dr.

Sturgis, that's okay.

I'm not upset.

I don't care.

So you don't care that I saw him last night?

No.

I hope he's great.

Okay.

Is he great?

He seemed okay.

Tell it to somebody who cares.

Excuse me, you Coach Ballard?

That'd be me.

George Cooper.

My daughter's here to try out.

Daughter?

Well, you didn't mention that on the phone.

Oh, did I leave that out?

Well, here she is.

Hi.

Uh-huh.

You want to see what she can do?

I want to see her go home.

Sorry?

Come on, I'm not gonna put a girl on the team.

Why not?

Why not?

She's a girl.

She's got pigtails.

Missy, give us a minute.

No, I want to hear.

Look, sweetheart, I just think it's great you want to be on the team, but these boys are gonna eat you alive.

I'm not afraid of them.

Well, maybe you should be.

At least let her throw a few.

She got a hell of an arm.

- George, you're a football coach, right?

- Mm-hmm.

You gonna put a girl on your team?

It's different.

It's a contact sport.

So is this.

She gets up to bat, and someone deliberately throws a ball at her, it's gonna make contact.

You're not even gonna give her a chance?

No.

Come on, let's get out of here.

I'm sorry, honey.

It's not your fault.

Bye-bye.

Can I help you?

Yeah.

I'm Georgie.

I'm a friend of Veronica's.

I brought this for her.

Oh, isn't that nice!

My granddaughter's at the doctor, but you're welcome to wait.

Oh.

Okay.

Thanks.

Oh, and this is me and my cousin Glen.

No, no, wait.

Is that Russell or Glen?

No, I'm pretty sure that's Glen.

Uh-huh.

Oh!

By the way, don't send Georgie to the store anymore to get you beer.

He snitched on me?

Well, he tried to steal one.

What happened?

She didn't make the team?

- She didn't even get to try out.

- Why not?

Coach doesn't want a girl on his team.

And you were okay with that?

No.

I tried.

There was no changing his mind.

Where are you going?

To be mad at somebody new.

Are you all right?

Leave me alone.

Was there a written test, and you couldn't remember what I told you?

No.

You want to be on that baseball team?

- Yes, but the coach said - I don't care what he said get your glove, let's go.

Okay.

Missy.

What?

Do good baseball.

- That's him.

- Hey.

- Hello.

Can I talk to you?

- Yeah.

You tell my granddaughter she can't play baseball?

Oh, well, I was just looking out for her, that's all.

- Is that so?

- Yes, ma'am, it is.

Well, we don't need you deciding what's best for her.

Uh-huh.

What do you need?

I need you to give her the same chance you would a boy!

Or what?

Or you and me gonna have problems.

Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?

No, we wouldn't.

Okay, let's see what you got, kid.

Here you go.

Fire it in there, baby.

I'm scared.

Meemaw has just made a scene.

Now is not the time to be scared!

Are we gonna do this today?

Keep your pants on!

Throw the damn ball.

I'm just a girl, but I think that's called a strike.

Not bad.

We're back.

How'd it go?

She made the team!

Congratulations!

And Meemaw got a date with the coach.

What?

It was a productive afternoon.

Back then, gas was only 20 cents a gallon.

Mm-hmm.

Not that we had anyplace worthwhile to drive to.

Did you say Veronica would be back soon?

I'm sure it'll be just any minute.

Let me show you my collection of antique bells.

Please stop.