01x06 - Mombie Dearest

Previously on Legacies...

You know, I opened this school to protect these kids.

How am I supposed to protect them

from stuff that's not supposed to exist?

DORIAN: The monsters come one at a time.

I found myself not far from here

with an urge to possess that knife.

And who told you to do this?

A voice in my mind.

MG: You think he'll go for her?


They usually do.

- JOSIE: Lizzie has dibs.
- HOPE: On Rafael?

She always calls dibs.

When's it gonna be your turn?

We're here to discuss if Landon should be allowed to stay

at the school.

Landon has to go.


ALARIC: I know what you're doing is important, Caroline.

But how do I tell the girls that their mom isn't gonna be there for their th birthday?

I can't exactly tell them what you're really involved in.


I-I am nowhere near cracking this case.

I have a knife, I have a symbol, I have a place, sort of, but I don't know what any of it means,

a-and I don't know what's connecting it, and I don't know what monster is coming next.


I've got to call you back.

ALARIC: Dorian!

DORIAN: Are you okay?

Whoa, whoa.

Ric, if you could just put down the crossbow.

My freak-out level is about right now.

You know her?

I know who she's supposed to be.


The love of my life.

JO: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Wait.
- Hold up. Hold...

- hold up, Ric.
- Listen to Dorian.

- Are you Dorian?
- Yeah.

I'm Jo.

You're his dead wife?

I m... I mean fiancée.

I mean, uh...

- You don't think she's actually...?
- No, I don't.

Did you see how she got here?

I was sort of, um...

yanked awake and then I was just here.

[CHUCKLES]: Nothing suspicious about that.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Kill her now before she attacks?

- Wait, what?
- I-I...

I was more, "Let's interrogate her."

Because if she's the next monster,

then maybe she would know more than the dryad did.


Okay, but no one sees her.

- Especially today.
- Good idea.

I need Emma.

HOPE: Obviously, nothing's gonna come out of it.

I mean, I may never see him again.

And nobody wants a phone thing.

Though I do like the sound of his voice. It's low and smart-sounding and kind of soothing.

And his eyes... his eyes are, like, this green-gray color

that's not really a color, you know?

Like, they're green when he wears green, and then...

Oh, my God. Who am I right now?

[LAUGHS] A normal teenager?

Though I do love hearing you talk about something

- as simple as having a crush on a boy.

You do not need a counselor, Hope.

You need a friend.

RAFAEL: All right, let's get the rest of these chairs

and tables and get 'em out of here.

All right?

Let's go, let's go.

Perks of being an alpha.

Bunch of people you get to boss around.

More like a bunch of shadows

waiting to be told what to do.

Who put you on party duty?

I volunteered. What do you want? I'm busy.

Listen, Raf, I know you're mad at me

for sending Landon away, but...

I promise you, it was for his own good.

You've known him for two minutes,

and you know what's good for him?

I know that I want him to be safe.

Listen, Raf, I just came here to apologize.

And I thought maybe if...

I don't know, if you needed someone to talk to...


Actually, um...

I do kind of need help with something.

There's no fancy parties

in grand ballrooms where I come from.

I need to know what to expect for tonight.

I don't want to let Lizzie down.

- Who cares what Lizzie Saltzman thinks?
- I do.

I'm her date.

Hey. I didn't see you

- at breakfast.
- I'm too excited to eat.

Happy birthday to us.

Isn't it a beautiful day for a party?

You're... cheerful.

Why wouldn't I be? Mom's coming home,

I had s*x with Raf, my pores are practically invisible...

Wait, what?

- You had s*x with...
- Last night.

You know how Mom always says that things work out

in the end the way they're supposed to?

She's right.

I wouldn't have time to represent the witches now

with a boyfriend,

so you getting the consolation prize is perfect.

Okay. I need your help.

I'm going for Meghan Markle tasteful.

PENELOPE: Woot, woot!

Happy birthday, witches.

LIZZIE: Oh, look. It's Satan

in a crop top. Come to burn my world down?

Retro. Princess Di before she got style. I dig it.

- What do you want?
- Oh, just to cheer you two up.

You know, 'cause your mom's not coming.

- What?
- Oh, I heard them cancel

her pickup at the office. I thought you knew.


I put a basic boundary spell to keep her in.

Are you sure she can't do magic?

She couldn't before she died, so if she can now,

I guess we'll learn the hard way.

Um, she's right here.

And she's got a lot of questions.

Be careful with this one, Ric.

Okay, let's talk.

Who are you? What do you want?

I'm Josette Laughlin, almost Saltzman.

No. Jo Laughlin is dead.

I'm well aware. It's not every day

you get murdered at your shotgun wedding.

Okay. What's the last thing you remember?

Morning sickness.

My dress.

Our vows.

My psychopath twin brother with a very large knife. And then...


How long ago was that?

You look a little... seasoned.

About years ago.



I don't know what to say.

How are you? How have you been?

Oh, just cut the... Just drop the act, okay?

It's not an act, Ric.

This is Mystic Falls. I'm not exactly

the first person to be brought back from the dead.

Yeah, well, things have gotten a little complicated

around here lately.


LIZZIE: Uh, Dad?

Why is your door locked?


And when were you going to tell us

that Mom wasn't coming back?

ALARIC: I was about to.

There-There's a strike at the airport in Mozambique.

LIZZIE: She couldn't compel a pilot

and hop on a private jet?

ALARIC: She'll explain everything later.

Okay? But right now I just need you

to go because I am wrapping your presents.

No, you're not. You're lying

through your teeth.


Who's this trollop?

- Oh, my God.
- I need you to leave

- right now.
- I'm sorry.

How old are you?

- .
- .


It's our birthday.

You're twins?

- What are we interrupting here?
- ALARIC: I'm serious.

Do as I say and now just go.

- Lizzie.
- What?

Lizzie, it's her.

Her who?


Holy crap.

You're Bio-mom.

This is impossible. I wasn't even showing

at our wedding. How...

Your family's crazy coven magically implanted them

in Caroline when you died.

She's their birth mother.



- you two...
- No.

She married Stefan Salvatore.

Who basically died on their wedding day, too,

but that's a long story.

They're still very close.

We opened this school together.

She's overseas right now doing very important

recruiting work.

I'm Lizzie. After my mother's mom.

And I'm Josie.

Josette. Like...


- HOPE: So, the emcee

will then announce
Lizzie and her escort.

- Her what?
- Kind of like at a,

a debutante ball.

I grew up in foster care.

Okay. Well, they had stairs, didn't they?

So, you're gonna meet her halfway down.

How do you know all this stuff?

One of my aunts has been around for more than a thousand years.

This kind of thing is her jam.

So, what, I just stand here?

Then you take her arm.

Sort of like you're putting yours on top.

Yeah, like that. And then you descend together.

And now you bow.


- Yeah, you're messing with me.
- You think this is bad?

You know it's only gonna get worse, right?

Lizzie Saltzman has been planning

her sweet since she was five.

You probably should've thought twice before asking

- to be her date.
- Well, I didn't ask her.

All I know is that I can't let her down now.


Because I slept with her, Hope.

You're lucky I respect women

and that I shun all forms of toxic masculinity,

or else you and I would be throwing down right now.

Even if you can kick my ass.

Dude, I am here to help.

By telling Lizzie and Josie that their mom isn't coming?

Oh, that was just for Lizzie,

who is taking Rafael as her date instead of you.

So why are you doing all this

to try and make her party perfect?

'Cause a man's got to shoot his shot.

Oh, my God. No. I can't take it anymore.

As your friend, I demand that you retrieve your little MGs

from Lizzie's grip.

Not when I can taste victory.



I'll make you a deal.

I will keep Werewolf Prince Charming away

from the party long enough for you

to shoot your one, final,

inevitably failed shot.

And when it's over, and the Queen of Mean

has broken your heart all over again, promise me

that you will let Lizzie go.

ALARIC: All right, one more time.

What's your name?

Josette Laughlin.

And what's your profession?

I'm a doctor.

I was, anyway.

Repeat after me:

I'm here to harm you.

I'm here to harm you.

How did you meet my dad?

That's not, uh, a question.

I walked up to him at a college party.

He was the only guy over .

Was it love at first sight?


Don't be so nosy.

Not quite.

I flirted with him and asked him

for a sip of his drink.

He told me he was a germophobe.

But I thought he looked like Indiana Jones, so...

This walk down weird old people memory lane is fun and all,

but we have a party to get ready for.

Will you still be here after?

ALARIC: I will be there when I can.

But right now the office is off limits.

One, two, three. One, two...

I can't believe you slept with Lizzie Saltzman.

Look, I was mad

- and she was there.

I didn't say I was proud of it.

You're leading.

You're officially a gigolo.


Thanks for this.


I guess I'll see you at the party.

No, you won't.

So, what, you're just gonna stay in your room alone

while everybody else is out having fun?

- Yep, works for me.
- Bullcrap.

Everybody needs a crew.

Kind of ironic coming from the reluctant alpha.

Okay, well, the pack is one thing, but a crew is a crew.

You know what? I had that in Landon until you sent him away.

- We're back to that?
- I'm just saying. It's one thing

to be cool with being alone, and then it's another

to want to be the lonely girl on purpose.

As opposed to Mr. Good Guy, who's taking a girl

that you don't even like to her own party?

You know what, you're right.

Lesson learned.

The hell?

Barrier spell.


Sorry, kids.

Nothing personal.

Let us out of here, Penelope.

You'll be free in an hour.

Plenty of time to practice that waltz.

ALARIC: I-I don't get it.

She hasn't tried to escape, not a word about the knife.

She knows things that only Jo knows and let's not ignore

the fact that I remember her,

so she's not like the other creatures.

Blunt force hasn't gotten them what they want,

so they've moved on to psychological warfare.

Tread lightly. If Jo is another monster,

she can do more damage to you than any dragon.

DORIAN: It was something she said...


There's an eyewitness account

of a group of World War I soldiers buried

in France who came back to life

and massacred a village.

After, they didn't remember hurting anyone.

And they all said they'd been "yanked" back into being.

Like Jo.

Wait, so someone or something resurrected them

and used them to attack a village?

Without them even knowing it.

Dad is so suspicious.

Uh, duh. So am I.

I just think that she's more fairy godmother than zombie.

She's not our mother.

She's DNA.

We can be mad at Mom all that we want for missing our party,

but we cannot cheat on her with Mombie Dearest.

You're not even dressed.

I don't want to be late to my own party.

I'm done.

I'll catch up with you, okay?


♪ ♪

Hey, Jo Jo.

Need an escort?


Do you know anyone whose heart isn't made of stone?

Look, I am sorry about earlier.

I saw a chance to make Lizzie suffer

and, uh... I shot my shot.

Why can't you just ease up on her?

She sucks the air out of every room you're in.

She's my twin.

We can share oxygen.

Are you sharing love interests now, too?

Because she's the only one with a date.

See? You have crawled

so far down the codependence rabbit hole

that you think taking care of yourself is selfish.

But it's not.

So when are you gonna take care of you?

I take care of myself just fine.

Oh, really?

Party starts in five.

It's a shame you spent all of that time

helping Lizzie get ready.


Do you know how to braid?

♪ Feels like I'm an animal ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feels like I'm an animal ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feels like I'm an animal ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feels like I'm an animal ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Ah, let's welcome birthday girl number one,

and her lucky escort.


Where's my date?

You're looking at him.

You're wearing sneakers?

These are Concord s, Milady.

What if I told you my favorite was sunflowers?

I'd know you were lying.


The same way I know that your favorite color is lavender,

your favorite dessert is key lime pie,

you like a blend of hip-hop and old-school Motown,

and powdered bat wings make you sneeze.

♪ Girls just wanna have fun ♪

My favorite song.

I know.

♪ The phone rings ♪

♪ In the middle of the night ♪

♪ My father yells, "What you gonna do with your life?" ♪

♪ Oh, Daddy, dear ♪

♪ You know you're still number one ♪

♪ But girls just wanna have fun ♪

♪ Girls, they wanna ♪

♪ Wanna have fun ♪

[LAUGHS] Aren't you gonna be late?

Oh, no. It's cool.

No one will notice.

At your own party?

Maybe if I had a date.

Is there someone special?

That is a complicated question.

Humor me.

Well... [GIGGLES]

Last year, there was this girl, um, but she dumped me.


And now there's this boy.

Um, but Lizzie has dibs, so...

Does she know you like him?

No. That would be... bad.

Being and having a strong twin sister isn't a cakewalk.

But anybody who spent five minutes with you

would know how special you are.

You're only saying that because you're...

It's okay.

Caroline is your mom.

She did a great job.

Lizzie's exactly like her.

You would never know that she's not her biological mom.

And you take after me.


I'm really happy you're here.

I honestly think that Dad is really lonely.

He's a pretty terrific guy, your dad.

But you can catch me up later.

You have a party to go to.

Actually, do you want to come with me?

RAFAEL: So you can slay a dragon,

but you can't get us out of here.

Only Penelope can undo the spell.

Or the twins could siphon the magic.

Well, that's unlikely, seeing as Lizzie probably thinks

I'm standing her up right now.

Her ego could use a little bit of deflating.

I'm not that guy, okay?

I don't just forget about people.

Relax. It's only been hours.

It's not that!


it has only been six weeks since...

Your girlfriend died.


It's crazy, but I feel like...

like I cheated on her or something.

So if I can do right

- by Lizzie, maybe that can...
- Then what?

- It'll exonerate you?
- I don't know.

- Maybe.
- Look, Raf,

you went through something awful,

and it's right to mourn your girlfriend,

but you can't pretend

to like Lizzie to make yourself feel better.

That's not doing her any good,

or yourself.




You got moves.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

♪ Boy, boy, boy, boy... ♪


- Come on... Yes.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh. No. No, no, no.

♪ Oh, no, we gonna rock down to ♪

♪ Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher ♪

♪ Oh, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue ♪

♪ Then we'll take it higher... ♪

Have you seen Josie?

♪ Then we'll take it higher... ♪

So Lizzie's in love with Raf, but MG's in love with Lizzie.

- It's this whole thing.
- What?

There's this alcove that's up super high,

so you'll be able to see everything.

Jo? Hey.

Jo? Somebody help!

I'll be right back, okay?

One more minute.

Raf, I didn't just send Landon away.

I sent him to someone

who's gonna help him find his birth mom.

You sent him away by himself

to find the woman that gave him up.

What if she's amazing, and he finally gets a family?

He had a family.

- He had me.
- A crew

isn't the same.

Family is always and forever.

Yeah, you're right.

He's not my blood,

but he is my brother.

If anything, maybe you should try

doubling down on friends

to make up for the family you don't have.

Time's up, lonely girl.

♪ What's it like now? ♪

♪ What's it like now, what's it like now ♪

♪ What's it like now, what's it like now ♪

♪ What's it like now, what's it like now ♪

♪ What's it like now, what's it like now, hey, hey. ♪



♪ Though I tried ♪

- ♪ Before to tell her ♪
- I got this.

♪ Of the feelings ♪

- Thanks.
- ♪ I have for her ♪

- ♪ In my heart ♪
- I'm sorry I was late.

I'll forgive you...

just this once.

♪ Every time that I come near her ♪

♪ I just lose my nerve ♪

♪ As I've done from the start ♪

♪ Every little thing she does is magic ♪

♪ Everything she does... ♪

ALARIC: She could be anywhere, Dorian.

I've got the faculty searching the building as we speak.

I'm on my way to the dance hall.


Call off the dogs. I think I found her.

I think I'll keep 'em on standby.

Something's wrong.

How did you get out?

Josie wanted me to come to the party, and so,

she siphoned the spell again. I know it was stupid,

but I just... I wanted to see their Sweet .

Okay, just tell me exactly what happened.

I don't know. I-I was with her one minute, and then...

Ric, I lost time. I don't know. I must have

done something to her, but I just, I don't know.


[DEMONIC VOICE]: There's a knife

in your possession that will buy you the answer.


No need to rush.

I'm sure your daughter has an hour before she runs out of air.

- Where is she?!

HOPE: Dr. Saltzman?

What's going on?

[PANTING] Hope, I need your help.

Hey. Have you seen Josie?

She's probably having the time of her life,

like I was until Prince Charming showed up

and turned me into the pumpkin.

I have hate in my heart.

I'm ready for battle.

- We're gonna duel.
- No.

No, we're not doing that. I'm holding you to our deal.

As of this moment, Lizzie Saltzman's cancelled.


You gonna howl at the moon wearing that?

Sorry, no time for bitchy banter.

Actually... I could use your help finding Josie.

- What happened?
- Apparently, her possessed

biological mother buried her alive in the cemetery.

We're coming with you.


- DORIAN: Hello, Ric.
- Where is it?

Asking for a friend?

I need the knife, Dorian.

My daughter's life is at stake.

That's why I moved it.

I knew the monster was gonna make a play.

I need you to bring it to me now.

Hero , Ric:

you don't give the bad guys what they want,

especially if we don't know what it does.

I mean, this thing could spawn Armageddon.

It has Josie!

We'll save Josie, Ric.

We're not giving up this knife.



MG, listen for her breathing.

Hold on.

I hear something. Shovel.



That won't work!


To kill a walker,

you got to go for the brain. Everybody knows that.

PENELOPE: Yeah, every nerd maybe.

Just call it a zombie.






♪ Every little thing she does is magic... ♪

There's a clothing-optional rock quarry nearby.

It's cold, but I figured

since we won't be getting much sleep tonight,

it could be refreshing.

♪ For her goes on... ♪

Lizzie, I'm sorry, but I can't.

♪ I resolve to call her up... ♪

I know it's a dick move to do this on your birthday, but...

it would be even worse to lie to you.

Now I'm yours, and I'm here tonight,

and I want to be the best date that I can be,

but the other stuff is not gonna happen.

♪ Every little thing she does is magic... ♪

I don't understand.

Last night...

Last night was a mistake.

♪ Now I know my love for her goes on ♪

♪ Every little thing she does is magic ♪

♪ Everything she does just turns me on ♪

♪ Even though my life before was tragic... ♪

Where's my sister?

Whoo! Two for two, baby.

Penelope and I can handle the rest. Just find Josie.

Right. Got it.


- How do you want to do this? Magic?
- I say we DIY

and pretend they're Lizzie Saltzman.

- Works for me.


[RATTLING] Josie. I hear you. Hold on.



- MG, we're running out of time.
- Watch out!

- Penelope?


- Damn it, MG, get up and find her.
- There's too much noise.

Well, listen harder. Pretend you're on a beach or something.

- I got her.


The talisman.

It worked.

What's it supposed to do?

Make quiet things heard.

JO: She could have died because of me.

But she's okay.

And it wasn't you.

I know that now. It's...

whatever takes over.

I mean, something is driving these monsters.

A-a dark presence,

we just can't figure it out.

And until we do,

we're just at its mercy.

This is wrong.

This isn't safe for any of us.

We have to get this thing out of me.

Tell the girls to siphon its magic from me.

But the magic's probably the only thing keeping you ali...


[QUIETLY]: Right.


Josie thinks you're lonely. [CHUCKLES]

Are you happy?

I am happy right now

in the arms of my demon-possessed baby mama.



I'm serious.

I will be happy when the girls are grown.

I promise. [SNIFFLES]

Do they know what happens when they turn ?


Not yet. And we...

don't want them to know until we've exhausted all options.

That's why Caroline's missed their birthday.

She's following some lead.


You tell Caroline

I said thank you for being my girls' mom.



MG: I'm serious, Peez. Something clicked

while I was taking out those zombies.

Uh, it felt right inside,

like that was the real me.


I'm a superhero.


Like from the comics.

- 'Cause heroes don't

just get the girl... They get all the girls.

- Oh, totally.
- Yeah.

Superman is such a slut.


Thanks for tonight, MG.

First hero thank you.

Uh, accepted! Up, up, and away.

Hey. What about me?

I helped.

You're the reason I got buried alive on my birthday.

I took your advice.

I wanted something, and I went for it.

I made the selfish move, and I ended up fighting a zombie.

There's room for people in this world

that just care about other people.

Not everybody has to be a showboat.

You're right.

This world

needs the selfless and the selfish

to keep spinning.

I happen to be the latter.

♪ We can dance if we want to ♪

♪ We can leave your friends behind ♪

I hate you.

I know.

♪ And if they don't dance, well, they're ♪

♪ No friends of mine ♪

♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪

♪ Everything is out of control ♪

♪ We can dance ♪



Rough night?

[CHUCKLES]: Um... no.

All evidence to the contrary.

I actually had a lot of fun.

What about you?


About that...

I was straight with Lizzie.

♪ We can dance ♪

Well, um,

I now have my own Avengers squad.


- ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪

You want to see if I still got it?

♪ Taking the chance ♪

Why not?

♪ The safety dance ♪

♪ The safety dance ♪

♪ The safety dance ♪

♪ The safety dance ♪

You look like you took a bath in dirt.

HOPE: Oh, thank you.

- You're welcome.

No, actually, you wouldn't believe the night that I had.

I, um, decided to take your advice...

♪ The safety dance. ♪

So, we just

siphon the magic out of her until she's...


- dead again?
- Oh, my God.

Lizzie, what is wrong with you?


It's okay, Josie.

It's okay.

I'm already dead.

I was a witch,

just like you.

And we believe in the natural order of things.

I shouldn't be here.

I love that I had this,

but it's a lie.

And now I need you to help me make it right.

The longer I'm here,

the more I remember where I came from.

I used to watch you.

I used to watch all of you.

Like in a dream...

...where everything is warm and happy.

I think I was at peace.

So that's where I'll be.

Waiting for you.


LIZZIE: I'm so sorry.

I was awful to you.

Oh, Lizzie.

You have such a big heart.

It's okay to let other people see it.


♪ I wish that I could stay ♪

- ♪ Forever ♪

♪ This young ♪

Oh, my beautiful girls.

You are everything

that I could have ever wished for.


Be good to each other.

Fight for each other.

When you're older, you'll understand what I mean.

But I need you to remember that I said it.


♪ When I'm wiser ♪

♪ And I'm older ♪

♪ All this time ♪

♪ I was finding myself ♪

♪ And I ♪

[QUIETLY]: I can't.

I can't.

Oh, Josette,

this is the right thing to do.

It's the only thing to do for you.

- ♪ When I'm wiser ♪

♪ And I'm older ♪

- ♪ All this time ♪

I love you.

♪ Finding myself ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ I didn't know ♪

♪ I was lost ♪

♪ I ♪

I love all of you so much.


♪ Oh... ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So wake me up ♪

♪ When it's all over ♪

♪ All this time ♪

♪ I was finding myself ♪

- ♪ And I ♪

♪ Didn't know I was lost ♪

♪ Didn't know I was lost ♪

♪ I didn't know I was lost. ♪

Ric, why don't you go home.

I'll take care of all of this.


The only place I'm going

is to find whatever monster did this

and kill it.




It wouldn't do you any good.

And who the hell are you?

Oh. Your pathetic attempt at humor

does nothing to mask your fear.

Tremble then in the presence of

the Necromancer!





Bringer of life and death.

He who holds the Fates' threads.

The cursed king of the underworld!

It's not ringing any bells. You?

All I know about necromancers is from video games.

And they're, like, low-level

- witch cannon fodder.

I am no mere witch.

There's only one me, I assure you.

And now you've seen what I can do.

Let's get down to the business of a certain knife.

ALARIC: If you're the one responsible

for what went down today...


...you're gonna wish
you were someone else.

I told you.

Death cannot hold me.



...we'll see about that.