02x05 - Screw Endgame

Episode transcripts for the show "Legacies". Aired: October 2018 to present.*

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Series spin-off from the "The Vampire Diaries" and "The Originals" has a new generation of protectors in the infamous town of Mystic Falls.
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02x05 - Screw Endgame

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Legacies The monsters are back.

I have no idea how or why or if it's gonna stop.

This was the only way I could think of to get you to see - Sebastian's not real!

- Shut up!

You don't exist to me.

What did you say to Elizabeth?

Sebastian?

- Go long!

- Look, I know you say you're fine, but you were stuck as a wolf for a pretty long time.

- Yeah, and I'm back now.

- Thanks to Hope.

And the entire world has forgotten that I exist.

And the boy I love has moved on.

Not yet, but soon.

I kind of blasted Lizzie with enough black magic to exorcise an army out of her head.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson.

- What?

- It's official.

I remember everything.

When I woke up from that spell Josie blasted me with, you popped into my messed-up brain like an acid flashback.

How?

You are literally the only person - on the planet who knows that I exist.

- Epic former frenemy reunion is gonna have to wait.

We have bigger drama.

Josie and Landon are having sex tonight.

What?

There's a decade dance.

Okay, well, that doesn't mean She asked me to find an excuse to stay with my dad.

You have to stop it.

Speak your truth.

Spill your beans, tell your tale.

Why didn't you tell her?

Because I didn't want to be the one to break her heart.

That's your job.

Ugh.

Not a good time.

Mm.

Who the hell are you?

I'm the Keeper.

Ah.

And this is gonna be a lot easier than I thought.

Welcome to the game.

Well, that was anticlimactic.

We have to get to the school to protect Landon.

More like protect Josie from Landon by warning her she's about to have sex with a human-sized muppet.

What just happened?

I think the game just started.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Oh!

What?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What?

Can you see him?

All I see is a dude who can't respect boundaries.

I told you.

No one else can see me.

Oh.

- Boy!

- MG.

You're trippin'.

Well I know.

I know, I know.

But Lizzie she-she met this new vampire.

- Oh, yeah.

Uh, Sebastian.

- Yeah.

She's been flapping her gums about him all over school.

He isn't real.

So I thought Lizzie was losing it, but now I am seeing him.

So, either I'm hallucinating, or this dude Whoa.

What the?

Would you stop touching me?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, buddy.

Um ask him what he wants.

He wants us to find his body.

He says he's been desiccated in a box somewhere.

He's a little vague on specifics.

I am vague, because, as aforementioned I am, uh, desiccated in a box!

- Oh, my God.

- I'm a pacifist.

But if you touch my hair again, we will throw hands.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Stop!

Sorry.

Please tell your far more intelligent friend that I have recently come into contact with blood.

Just a just enough to reach that very limited mind of yours.

The blood was rancid.

You remember that nasty blood fountain we moved?

All right, everybody work together.

And Lizzie's gonna be here any second.

And trust me, you do not want to have only 98 red balloons.

What's so funny?

You said you and Josie were getting pretty intense, right?

- Yeah.

- And it's a dance.

It's a dance.

So?

She thinks it's gonna happen tonight.

No, there's no way.

- Dude, sex after a dance is so - So, what?

Eighties?

Hey.

So, I talked to Lizzie, and she's actually gonna stay in town with my dad tonight.

- Good.

- Yeah.

Just an FYI, right?

Yeah.

Dude.

I'm cool.

Just just a little jumpy.

You've been a little jumpy a lot lately.

If all this stuff is too much, you don't have to Exposure therapy.

It's, uh it's supposed to be good for me.

Plus, I want to be able to handle the dance tonight.

Yeah, in case Hope happens to accept the invitation you sent her?

Dude, how about you worry about yourself tonight?

I am.

Okay, let's try this again.

So, since we're trapped here, are we ever gonna talk about how you came back from Malivore and decided not to tell any of us?

Sorry.

I'm a little busy keeping us from being roadkill.

Projectium Deflecta.

That should protect us.

I don't think we have magic here.

Or you just did the spell wrong.

How's that siphoning going?

Okay, fine.

There's obviously no magic.

And we're in some sort of death maze from hell.

And Why is it the '80s?

Speaking of Have you ever played Frogger?

Acid wash is clearly your thing.

Right?

You kind of look fierce, too.

Thank you.

But now we got to get out of here.

Oh.

My hair is still wet.

Should have seen that one coming.

Josie, may I make a suggestion about the dance floor?

Aren't you supposed to be having - brunch with your father?

- Dad.

- Hey, I'm sorry.

Uh - Principal Saltzman.

I'm afraid I must remind you that you are prohibited from being here.

By court order.

Relax, Fumbledore.

I cleared it with the sheriff.

I'm here as a concerned parent, as both my daughters recently experienced a traumatic event.

The samurai and the Oni Demon?

Josie told me all about it.

I'm okay.

Thank you for checking in, but everything's fine.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

But what about Lizzie?

She was a no-show, too.

So, where is she?

She said she had an errand to run.

Hmm.

All right.

Well, I'm not going anywhere until she gets back and I know that she's okay, too.

We've never made it this far.

A land mine?

Really?

What's wrong with this decade?

Reaganomics?

Recreational cocaine?

- Jams?

- If only there was a secret or-or a clue.

Unless you see a clue store around here, Hope, then I don't think Okay.

Oh, hey.

Looking for something?

Yeah.

How do we get out of here?

And why are we in our grandparents' decade?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

It's the only decade I know.

Turns out you miss a lot of pop culture when guys in black suits drop you into a giant pit of goo.

As for getting out of here goes, uh, you don't.

You play the game until my pet feeds on you, and then you die.

For reals.

This game was specifically designed to k*ll beautiful maidens, so, I'd say it's a pretty good fit.

Oh.

So glad we stopped in.

Let's go.

There is, um one way out.

One of you agrees to take my place.

Look, I was trapped here once, too, okay?

Just like you two, and I I don't really feel like being the Keeper of the Game, like, forever.

So, one of you agrees to wear this bracelet, you get to be the new me.

And the other one is set free.

Thanks, but, uh, no thanks.

Actually, I'm afraid there's no other option.

Yeah.

You take the deal, or my pet kills you.

That's the endgame.

Speak of the devil.

Ah.

I love this part.

Oh, my God!

Hurry, come on!

Okay, I think we lost him.

At least we finally made it out of the lame town square, no thanks to you, Captain Almost-Stepped-on-the- Land-Mine-Again.

You k*lled us with a hair dryer.

Never forget.

The school's up this way.

If only there were something to talk about on the way.

Some burning question.

Some mysterious choice that demanded an explanation.

Okay, fine.

I was gonna tell everyone that I was back.

But then I saw Landon and Josie.

And how happy they were.

It just seemed like you all were better off without me.

What is wrong with you?

Do you really have that much of a martyr complex that you couldn't just oh, I don't know ask one of us how we were doing?

Look, I know that it seems kind of Dumb?

Selfish?

Controlling?

Painful.

No one's been better off without you.

Landon and Josie are just filling a void left by you and Penelope.

My dad is lonely.

Raf's a mess again, and apparently I'm hallucinating boyfriends.

If my broken mind can remember you, then maybe that spell Josie did could bring everyone's memories back.

You and Landon are made for each other, which is why you need to tell him and Josie before they do the deed.

You hallucinated a boyfriend?

Tell you in a second.

Yeah, he's real, all right but damn.

Dude smells worse than that blood fountain.

Oh, you're both weaklings.

Shut up.

Your face look like beef jerky.

Oh, is he here?

Tell him to talk to me.

Oh, as much as I would love that, in my diminished state, I can only appear to the fragile-minded like you.

Um, he says that you have to be on, like, the same spiritual wavelength.

Oh, this is maddening.

The rancid blood that you two turnips bumbled on me was inadequate.

But with enough fresh blood, I will surely be restored.

Yeah.

No way we're doing that.

Doing what?

Not even if I can give you what you want?

Hmm?

Elizabeth Saltzman all to yourself.

Without my competition.

Come on, MG, what's he saying?

Hold on.

He's just getting to the good part.

Set me free, Milton, and I give you my word, I will leave this town at once.

He wants for us to wake him up.

I know I'm forgetting something.

Uh-oh.

Angst alert.

Landon's journaling.

Actually, Mr. Williams.

Um can I ask you a personal question?

Emma and I aren't dating anymore.

Okay?

And, no.

I don't know if she's coming back.

Actually, I was, um, I was actually wondering how you knew you were ready to, um you know, um have sex f-for, like, for, like, your first time.

You mean your first time?

Yeah.

Oh.

So you and Josie are getting serious?

- I really don't want to mess this up.

- Gotcha.

Um All right, why don't you take a seat, Landon.

Well, I think that when you've found the right person that you want to take that step with you just kinda know.

It's-it's, uh, it's like a look, right?

It's this look and then you know.

Let me get this straight.

You don't know who this vampire is or how he got down there, just that he's been desiccated for some unknown reason, and he wants you two to wake him up.

- Um yeah.

- Y-Yeah.

That about that about covers it.

Uh, unless I'm missing something I would say let him rot.

We don't even know what he's doing down there - in the first place.

- Neither do I, but it's safe to say that no one is desiccated for being too nice.

Okay, but that doesn't mean he's guilty.

And even if he is, what crime equals that kind of time?

Hypothetically, the slaughter of a couple dozen villages.

You're awfully quiet over there, MG.

Um I'm I'm leaning Kaleb's way on this one.

Vamps before non-vamps.

That's not I know I'm not in charge here anymore.

Now, if you want my vote, I say don't do anything till you know more about this guy.

I-I respect that, Dr.

Saltzman, but he said he'll leave town.

We should at least give him a sh*t to keep his word.

And I vote we hold tight like Dr. S.

Said.

We, we figure out what Sebastian really wants.

How are we gonna do that?

You leave that to me.

All right?

Thanks for the wisdom, man.

To be honest, I'm surprised you'd even want my opinion.

You know, after you guys voted me out.

Uh, look, uh confidential ballot and all I am the only one who voted for you to stay.

I know you don't want to think about this, but the real world isn't resetting like this stupid one is, which means we are rapidly approaching Josie's unexpected journey there and back again.

Bear trap.

I'm not gonna tell them about be.

Ugh.

Why not?

Because it's not gonna change anything.

Arrow.

Sorry!

Be more careful next time, Frank.

It would change everything.

No, it won't.

When I saw that portal, I knew that there was only one way to stop the monsters from coming.

I'm just gonna have to jump back in and close it.

Everyone's just gonna forget me all over again.

I was created to be the loophole that ends Malivore.

It's the only reason I exist.

It's my destiny.

Run.

Come on.

The school should be right through here.

Oh, hey.

Ready to take that deal yet?

I'm ready to take this maze and shove it up your Maze?

Oh, no, this isn't a maze.

It's a labyrinth.

Know the difference?

- Do I look like a nerd?

- Hmm A maze has multiple paths, a labyrinth only has one.

Exactly.

As I said before, there's only one way this is going to end.

Granted, her legs are amazing, but she is a royal bitch.

What are we gonna do?

We take the deal.

And I stay behind.

It has to be me.

I'll take her place and then you can be set free.

See?

Capital M-artyr complex, Hope.

The Minotaur travels with the Keeper, right?

So if I stay behind, it'll be trapped with me.

And since the monsters only come one at a time, no other monsters ever will.

Besides, it's not like anyone's gonna know I'm gone.

Except you.

No, I haven't seen Lizzie.

She's probably still out buying her Jane Fonda leotard.

You voted for me to leave.

Why?

Because it's what you wanted.

Dad, you put it to a vote.

You knew that this place shouldn't be run by a human anymore, but you couldn't bring yourself to leave, so you had us make that choice for you.

That sounds like something your mother would say.

She also said that your dream was to create a place where we could learn to be ourselves, to be safe.

You've done that, so now we have to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

We have to learn to do this without you.

Dad, I voted you out so you could have your own life.

Start dating.

Start letting us go, because we're fine because of you.

Definitely that one.

Yeah?

I picked out an outfit for you, too.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Rise and shine, brother vampire.

Talk to me like the rain, and I will lie here and listen.

You're a poet.

Nah, that's Tennessee Williams, bruh.

But tell me what I want to hear, and there's more where that came from.

What do you wish to know?

What kind of vamp you are.

The kind that rips rabbits or throats?

I am a man who has made mistakes, but if-if you revive me, I will not make them again.

Great.

Then I'm not interested.

Isn't that what you wanted to hear?

You know, this school's already full of poseurs denying their basic instincts.

I was hoping you were different.

Guess not.

I am in this state for the very sin that you desire.

I fed on so many humans back in my day that it was no longer for hunger, it was merely sport.

The cobblestones, they ran red with blood.

Well, in that case I'll burn you after the party.

You deceived me.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Uh you look amazing.

Thank you.

So do you.

Thank you.

Um Um Oh.

What did you get up to today?

Oh, you know, little bit of this little bit of that.

- Oh.

- Sorry.

Sorry, I no, I'm sorry.

You?

Same.

You okay?

- You seem - Yeah.

I was with my dad.

It's fine now.

Oh.

Are you okay?

You just you seem - fidgety.

- No, no, I'm just, uh I'm just excited.


Landon.

You know that we don't have to dance tonight if you don't want to.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Okay, cool.

We also totally don't have to have sex tonight.

- Um - In case your use of dancing wasn't a metaphor.

- It was.

- Okay, good.

You're special.

So I want it to be special.

That moment we both look at each other and we both know.

That sounds nice.

Let's just enjoy the dance.

Yeah.

Dance is that way.

- I knew that.

- Right.

I said Dance hall days, love Dance hall days Dance hall days, love Take your baby by the wrist And in her mouth an amethyst Hey.

I figured it out.

Sebastian's an O.

G.

Cold-blooded k*ller.

- For real?

- Yeah.

And I voted to let him out.

I I wasn't thinking.

Oh, you were thinking, all right.

About Lizzie Saltzman.

But this is more proof that when you chase her, you're not peak MG, you know?

I don't know what to do with that.

Dance hall days Dance it off.

DJ, hit me.

It takes two to make a thing go right And it takes two to make it outta sight Yeah, all right, all right I wanna rock right now I'm Rob Base and I came to get down I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock the microphone Because I get stupid, it means outrageous Stay away from me if you're contagious 'Cause I'm the winner No, I'm not a loser, to be an MC Is what I choose-a Ladies love me, girls adore me I mean even the ones who never saw me, like I want you to get busy, you ready now?

One, two, three, get loose now It takes two to make a It-it-it-it takes two to make a, it-it-it - It takes two.

- I get why you think you need to take the deal, though.

I exist for one reason, too: merge with my sister.

That's our destiny, right?

Unless I stayed here in a no-magic zone.

Maybe the merge wouldn't have to happen, and Josie would be safe.

There's no way I'm gonna let you do that.

I know.

But you're not the only one who can be a martyr.

I knew you were the smart one.

- Let's just get this over with.

- Oh!

Don't worry, it's not so bad being the Keeper.

And one day, maybe you'll find someone to take your place.

- I would never do that.

- Aw I told myself the exact same thing.

Be careful with it.

It's fragile.

And if it breaks, you are not protected from the Minotaur anymore.

And my friend gets out, right?

She is set free from the eternal pain of the labyrinth, yes.

That was very carefully worded.

She dies, okay?

That's what that means.

Uh just think of it this way: either she dies or you both do.

It's self-preservation, kiddo.

- You're sick.

- You know, when I first took this deal, the previous Keeper told me that this entire labyrinth was built by a sorcerer centuries ago to punish a beautiful maiden who refused his affections.

Because she didn't exist just for him, he punished her forever.

But she got out.

She traded places with another woman who came along, who then trapped another woman, and so on and so forth.

I mean, you can't really blame us for trying to escape, can you?

It's every woman for herself.

That's the game.

I guess no one is the Keeper now.

I hope you know your maze as well as we do.

Sorry.

"Labyrinth. " You look like you're lots of fun Open up your lovin' arms Watch out, here I come You spin me right round, baby, right round Like a record, baby, right round Round, round You spin me Whoa!

Hey, Raf!

Hey.

Looks like exposure therapy worked.

Depends.

Uh, - did Hope show up?

- Not yet.

But she might show up still.

- Hang in there.

Okay?

- All right.

You look good.

Right round, round, round.

Where did you get that?

Who's he?

This is Frank.

- Thanks for your help.

- Thanks.

I thought you were taking the deal.

I realized it would be perpetuating the patriarchy.

There's always someone telling women they only exist for one reason.

We even told it to ourselves.

I am done playing that game.

Screw endgame.

You've found another way.

You k*lled the Minotaur.

Thank you.

Not that you deserved it.

And you definitely don't deserve this.

We've had enough of women hurting other women for one day.

When the wrong antidote is like a bone in the throat They run for cover so discreet, why don't they Do what they say Say what you mean Baby, one thing leads to another You told me something wrong I know I listen too long, but then One thing leads to another.

We're talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'll say it anyway Today isn't my day To find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take On Me I'll Be Gone Do you maybe want to dance somewhere else?

Only if that's a metaphor.

Take on me Take on me Take me on In a day - Hurry, we can still stop them.

- Wait.

For what?

We have to let them go.

Are you sure?

Take on me.

Motus.

This doesn't even have sleeves.

Why is this so hard to take off?

You sure you want to do this?

I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

Do you have a condom?

I knew I forgot something.

Don't stop, stop.

Do not move.

I'll be right back.

Damn it.

Wade!

Never mind.

Whatever.

So, your name's Wade, then?

Usually nobody gets it right.

Who are you?

Do you need, like, a camera or something for the party?

No.

No, no, no.

What I need, Wade, is a friend.

I'll stop the world and melt with you Yeah!

You've seen I don't get it.

We literally k*lled ourselves to get back here, and you couldn't go through with it.

What you said before, about destiny, you were right.

You know, he and Josie, they look happy together.

Maybe there isn't only one way everything has to happen.

We don't exist for just one path.

And we don't exist for just one boy.

So let's dance.

Anything to keep me from picturing Josie's tragic visit to the Shire.

I'll stop the world and melt with you Hey.

If you tell this to anyone, I will deny it.

But I'm glad to have you back.

There's nothing you and I won't do I'll stop the world And melt with you I'll stop the world and melt with you I'll stop the world And melt with you I'll stop the world and melt with you.

Mr. Williams, sorry to interrupt.

- All good, Landon.

- Do you remember what we talked about earlier?

You were right.

Then, boy, what the hell are you doing here?

Uh, asking to borrow your car keys.

'Cause I need to make a quick a real quick run into town.

Run into town?

Oh.

In that case, you don't want my car keys.

You want the keys to the nurse's office.

You'll find what you're looking for in her desk.

Thank you.

No.

Not now, you stupid rats.

I have been listening to your tiny little rat claws for months now Say hello to my little friend.

Hey.

Um is everything okay?

Um would you be mad if I told you that I wanted to wait?

No.

- Not at all.

- I'm sorry.

- I just, um - It doesn't matter.

Whatever it is, if you're not ready for it, neither am I.

We have all the time in the world, Josie.

Nothing's gonna change that.

You want a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey!

Hey!

Hope?

Hey, Raf.

I was hoping to see you tonight.

Do you want to party with us?

What I like about you Sure.

Uh-huh The witches are a little drunk.

You do realize you go to the dopest school of all time, right?

You should probably tell that to the dude behind you in the black coat.

Who are you talking about?

The one staring at you.

That's what I like about you.

I ain't got many friends left to talk to Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble I must say, I'm surprised.

You're the last person I expected to invite me for a drink.

Have a seat.

I just want to use your love I ordered you something with an umbrella.

Oh I don't want to lose your love Look, I want the school to succeed, which means you have to succeed.

So, please, be better than I was.

That's a very low bar.

Is this the part where you punch me in the face?

Only in my mind.

From shaking But something in my mind's I'll stay out of your way.

But remember you're responsible for people I love.

As you're leaving, please, would you close the door?

I'll drink to that.

Don't forget what I told you Just 'cause you're right Yes, please.

To cry upon I just want to use your love Tonight Mmm.

Yeah I don't want to lose your love Tonight Yeah I just want to use your love tonight Mmm.

Where did you come from?

Oh, I've been here the whole time.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be forward, but I know your smell.

Uh, okay.

It's a stench, really, a pit.

Malivore.

How do you know that name?

Ah, it's a long story.

Probably better if I just show you.
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